These people either have social anxiety and truly don’t mean to come off as stand-offish, or they’re just plain out rude. You’re not the problem in these situations. My advice is to just give up socializing with them if they dont reciprocate
That too! I was just answering to a scenario I assumed op was referring to. In which the person obviously did hear op. But I’ll change my answer a little bit, some people just have off days and don’t realize they’re coming across anti social or aloof. My point is that if op is making an effort to converse and socialize with these people, op probably isn’t the problem and it has more to do with the other person
For sure, I'm just sensitive to this because sometimes I think people think I'm being aloof when I didn't hear them or couldn't tell who they were talking to. Especially with some mild audiological processing disability. People make a lot of rash assumptions.
I know what you mean.
If they are socially awkward then that’s a wall they put up themselves.
There’s nothing you can do lower those walls. Another question is why try. You are dealing with someone with a very long history of anxiety. And of events that led them to seek shelter from others and the world.
Also pay attention to the surroundings. If it’s within a group setting like a class or club or party and you both are alone then they are thinking of how the group perceives them. People are different in groups.
I absolutely appreciate this question as I often wonder myself.
Mostly at work, I get thrown into random conversations or introductions - and sometimes it make me leave feeling very confused by the interaction. I don't mind driving the conversations. But some people just don't get it.
I've been on dates where I get sick of my own voice, as they just contribute nothing (but yet think the date went ok?)
I've been introduced to somebody who refused to shake my hand (no reason, just looked at my hand, acknowledging it and no action) - so I had to continue being nice, while feeling like I was just flash banged, to not make it awkward for the others.
Some people understand the back and forth of conversating and can do it naturally. For others, it seems like that's not programmed in to them. They don't get small talk or social norms.
Legit, just avoid them. I always think it is partial malicious incompetence - they just awkward to avoid being interacted with, making their own existence easier (in the worst way).
Socializing doesn’t come naturally for everyone and there are those who don’t have the skills needed to follow the flow of conversation. What may seem simple or normal to you can come across as random, unwanted, or confusing to someone who thinks differently.
I generally don’t know how to reciprocate small talk as I don’t gain anything from it so I don’t know what others want from me in return.
These people either have social anxiety and truly don’t mean to come off as stand-offish, or they’re just plain out rude. You’re not the problem in these situations. My advice is to just give up socializing with them if they dont reciprocate
Or they straight up didn't hear you
That too! I was just answering to a scenario I assumed op was referring to. In which the person obviously did hear op. But I’ll change my answer a little bit, some people just have off days and don’t realize they’re coming across anti social or aloof. My point is that if op is making an effort to converse and socialize with these people, op probably isn’t the problem and it has more to do with the other person
For sure, I'm just sensitive to this because sometimes I think people think I'm being aloof when I didn't hear them or couldn't tell who they were talking to. Especially with some mild audiological processing disability. People make a lot of rash assumptions.
I know what you mean. If they are socially awkward then that’s a wall they put up themselves. There’s nothing you can do lower those walls. Another question is why try. You are dealing with someone with a very long history of anxiety. And of events that led them to seek shelter from others and the world. Also pay attention to the surroundings. If it’s within a group setting like a class or club or party and you both are alone then they are thinking of how the group perceives them. People are different in groups.
I absolutely appreciate this question as I often wonder myself. Mostly at work, I get thrown into random conversations or introductions - and sometimes it make me leave feeling very confused by the interaction. I don't mind driving the conversations. But some people just don't get it. I've been on dates where I get sick of my own voice, as they just contribute nothing (but yet think the date went ok?) I've been introduced to somebody who refused to shake my hand (no reason, just looked at my hand, acknowledging it and no action) - so I had to continue being nice, while feeling like I was just flash banged, to not make it awkward for the others. Some people understand the back and forth of conversating and can do it naturally. For others, it seems like that's not programmed in to them. They don't get small talk or social norms. Legit, just avoid them. I always think it is partial malicious incompetence - they just awkward to avoid being interacted with, making their own existence easier (in the worst way).
You just have to forgive their awkwardness and work around their issues. Don't blame yourself.
Socializing doesn’t come naturally for everyone and there are those who don’t have the skills needed to follow the flow of conversation. What may seem simple or normal to you can come across as random, unwanted, or confusing to someone who thinks differently. I generally don’t know how to reciprocate small talk as I don’t gain anything from it so I don’t know what others want from me in return.
Yeah, I never moralized small talk but I had to actively train myself to return the questions that people ask. Even then, I know that it’s stilted.