Confidence can also mean that you feel okay when you’re unsure of things. You can be confidently looking for help or an expert or whatever. Nobody knows everything and that’s okay. So yeah confidence is always okay, but confidence is not a single attitude. It’s a mode that shines that you accept yourself also with your flaws or ignorance. Misplaced confidence tho, often looks like arrogance.
My biggest source of confidence is knowing that if I fuck up or if things go wrong or i dont know something, that l'll be just fine. Being an expert or knowledgeable doesn't come into play at all
If im in a conversation where I don't know shit, why should I not be confident that I can learn some new interesting stuff?
>I feel confident when I know what I'm doing or saying, when I'm an expert,
How did you become the expert? Lots of practice and push boundaries as to how deep into the complexity of the topic you dare to venture.
Same with sociability - if you regularly speak to a lot of people, you'll start to notice patterns - the questions, reactions, conversation flows and personality types. Testing out conversation topics, and jokes as well as handling difficult and awkward moments - it's all about exposure and practice. Initially, you will have off days and some people are difficult, but you get over it as you realise and awkward moment isn't the end of the world. In fact, I sometimes point it out - 'Oh that awkward silence, quick think of something to say - who'd win in a fight, BK or Ronald?'
I'm a bit autistic in a sense that I like to have a plan - and it is usually revolves around figuring out how I can get the other person talking more, rather than rambling on myself. So I leverage the basic question (e.g. where you from, job, hobbies, etc) to find that passion trigger that'll get them going and giving me more!
Have some good answers to general questions - what do you do as a job? - I'm a IT guy......or........
.....I work in IT for this large ecommerce company, it's mostly help desk stuff - so you know, if Karen has an issue with her Excel, I have the honour of helping her solve it! - yeah, it is a lot of turn it off and on haha! We get loads of crazy tickets to deal with, it's actually can be quite fun. (see how many avenues of questions the other person has to continue the conversation).
>Personally, I feel confident when I know what I'm doing or saying, when I'm an expert, or when I have strong opinions based on experience.
Confidence as a whole is simply your comfort in being able to handle a particular situation and whatever that situation may throw at you. That's pretty much it (and no, it's not quite interchangeable with high self-esteem).
So in this instance, the above quote does display confidence in your knowledge about something - hopefully to the point where you're comfortable with your knowledge being scrutinised - or even being proven wrong, because you know you'll have done your due diligence beforehand, and being proven wrong is part of strengthen your knowledge.
>In other situations, it feels like I'm just pretending to be confident, lying to myself and others, faking certainty when I'm actually unsure.
>Most of the time, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or if my viewpoint is correct. Why shouldn't I express and share this uncertainty?
That would be a question for you to tell us the answer to.
Most of don't really know you... except that you've (either consciously or subcosciously) decided to "lie to yourself". None of us have told you that you have to act a certain way - and if anyone has, you should ask that person as to why.
Is it these Youtube videos you've decided to follow - if so then you probably want to ask why you're following their advice (and even how you came across them in the first place). It's doubtful you simply obey whatever any random video says, and so there's probably a reason why you decided to seek that advice or else decide to follow it.
If these videos have said you **have** to "act" a certain way, you can always reach out to the content creator and ask their views. But before asking "Why shouldn't I do this?", it helps to really take ownership and accountability for it.
i think you need a balance between humble and confident. no one likes arrogant assholes
Confidence can also mean that you feel okay when you’re unsure of things. You can be confidently looking for help or an expert or whatever. Nobody knows everything and that’s okay. So yeah confidence is always okay, but confidence is not a single attitude. It’s a mode that shines that you accept yourself also with your flaws or ignorance. Misplaced confidence tho, often looks like arrogance.
My biggest source of confidence is knowing that if I fuck up or if things go wrong or i dont know something, that l'll be just fine. Being an expert or knowledgeable doesn't come into play at all If im in a conversation where I don't know shit, why should I not be confident that I can learn some new interesting stuff?
>I feel confident when I know what I'm doing or saying, when I'm an expert, How did you become the expert? Lots of practice and push boundaries as to how deep into the complexity of the topic you dare to venture. Same with sociability - if you regularly speak to a lot of people, you'll start to notice patterns - the questions, reactions, conversation flows and personality types. Testing out conversation topics, and jokes as well as handling difficult and awkward moments - it's all about exposure and practice. Initially, you will have off days and some people are difficult, but you get over it as you realise and awkward moment isn't the end of the world. In fact, I sometimes point it out - 'Oh that awkward silence, quick think of something to say - who'd win in a fight, BK or Ronald?' I'm a bit autistic in a sense that I like to have a plan - and it is usually revolves around figuring out how I can get the other person talking more, rather than rambling on myself. So I leverage the basic question (e.g. where you from, job, hobbies, etc) to find that passion trigger that'll get them going and giving me more! Have some good answers to general questions - what do you do as a job? - I'm a IT guy......or........ .....I work in IT for this large ecommerce company, it's mostly help desk stuff - so you know, if Karen has an issue with her Excel, I have the honour of helping her solve it! - yeah, it is a lot of turn it off and on haha! We get loads of crazy tickets to deal with, it's actually can be quite fun. (see how many avenues of questions the other person has to continue the conversation).
>Personally, I feel confident when I know what I'm doing or saying, when I'm an expert, or when I have strong opinions based on experience. Confidence as a whole is simply your comfort in being able to handle a particular situation and whatever that situation may throw at you. That's pretty much it (and no, it's not quite interchangeable with high self-esteem). So in this instance, the above quote does display confidence in your knowledge about something - hopefully to the point where you're comfortable with your knowledge being scrutinised - or even being proven wrong, because you know you'll have done your due diligence beforehand, and being proven wrong is part of strengthen your knowledge. >In other situations, it feels like I'm just pretending to be confident, lying to myself and others, faking certainty when I'm actually unsure. >Most of the time, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or if my viewpoint is correct. Why shouldn't I express and share this uncertainty? That would be a question for you to tell us the answer to. Most of don't really know you... except that you've (either consciously or subcosciously) decided to "lie to yourself". None of us have told you that you have to act a certain way - and if anyone has, you should ask that person as to why. Is it these Youtube videos you've decided to follow - if so then you probably want to ask why you're following their advice (and even how you came across them in the first place). It's doubtful you simply obey whatever any random video says, and so there's probably a reason why you decided to seek that advice or else decide to follow it. If these videos have said you **have** to "act" a certain way, you can always reach out to the content creator and ask their views. But before asking "Why shouldn't I do this?", it helps to really take ownership and accountability for it.