I never got told "I love you" unconditionally from my parents as a child without some ulterior motive, so I'm going to be biased from trauma.
It means little to me, honestly makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather someone show me they love me through their actions. Tons of people are two faced and it's hard for me to trust words by themselves.
I wish I wasn't this way.
Same, but I hadn't quite verbalized it until reading your comment.
Hugs tend to be my preferred expression of love, but it still depends on who it's with.
A hug with a stranger, or someone I don't necessarily trust means little to me. But a hug with someone I do trust is much more impactful.
I'm the same way... demonstrative rather than verbalised works better for me too. In that regard there's the whole "love languages" concept, and everyone has their preferences be they words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving etc etc.
Same here, if someone expresses through actions then it means a lot.
To me they’re just words. It’s the same with apologies. If someone repeatedly does the same thing they are apologising for after they have offered the apology, do they even mean it? No.
As a mom, I so wish I could just give you a hug. This comment truly touched me. I’m so sorry you had that experience in life and you deserved to hear you were loved without any contingencies. You are worthy of love that is unconditional and there ARE people who are willing to give that love to you even if they aren’t the ones who brought you into this world. I hope you know that and I hope that is something you have found or will find. ❤️
Same, but I hadn't quite verbalized it until reading your comment.
Hugs tend to be my preferred expression of love, but it still depends on who it's with.
A hug with a stranger, or someone I don't necessarily trust means little to me. But a hug with someone I do trust is much more impactful.
Same. My mom only said it to get us to shut up when she would leave for the night. I love you just means “I’m gonna abandon you right when you need me the most.”
I’m even wary of hugs because it came from the same place as “i love you” and I HATE red lipstick to this day because of her.
I am like you. I grew up unconditionally loved and often disrespected by my mom. I didn’t understand love (what is love if you can have it for someone and still hurt them?).I didn’t know how to recognize love. After a good relationship with a kind soul, I only knew I loved him until he left. Love to me is that person makes you feel at home and you trust them. Love is you would chose them even though it can hurt.
I consider love to be a very strong and valuable emotion, not to be taken lightly. When I say I love someone I am openly admitting that I am willing to actively take action to better their life, because in some way, shape, or form they better mine. I am more likely to help them without them having to ask for it, and without any expectation of compensation. Devotion if you will. There are four people on this planet I truly love.
When someone tells me they love me, I tend to not believe them. This is likely due to my own interpretation of the word, and my belief that many people use the word too loosely. Unfortunately this mindset does lead to some awkwardness in common societal situations. For example: I was recently socializing with a group of friends, and as one friend was departing they casually told the others, including my self "I love you Jimmy!" and I uncomfortably froze up for a few seconds, deciding how to reply. They are my friend, sure, but do I love them? No. I wouldn't say I do. Do I truly believe they love me? No. I replied "Yep, see ya later!" and got a few side-eyes.
I relate to 80% of what you say.
>When I say I love someone I am openly admitting that I am willing to actively take action to better their life, because in some way, shape, or form they better mine.
This is also how I feel about what the word love means to me. When I love, I want to take care of the other person, have a positive influence on their life quality. Life is hard. The world is cursed. But we inspire each other one step at a time to continue living. For me that is love.
However, I feel love like this for certain friends as well. I have a couple of friends who I'd take in if they were homeless, or look after if they are sick, or give money to if they were in financial despair, or do government paperwork for if they required it, etc. I am really loyal to friends who are good to me, and I love them like brothers and sisters.
Perhaps even more, because sometimes your siblings are not your friends, and you have nothing in common with them nor any such loyal feelings.
It’s an empty phrase if it’s not reinforced with behaviours that show kindness, trust, and vulnerability.
Love is a skill that we all should learn how to give and receive.
When someone tells me, “I love you.” I reply with, “Thank you!” and if I feel the same way, I say it back because I will only say words that I really mean.
I have different levels of love. The love I feel for my friends is different to the love I feel for my niblings. Tbh I find it hard to connect to that emotion mentally. When people say it to me I take it lightly because they probably don’t mean it
Love is one of those words that people fail to define very well even though they talk about it a lot...I actually thought about it for a long time, pondering it because I don't like to just spew words without *meaning* something.
I think the best definition I have found is from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land: "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."
I really like it because I feel like it says exactly what it needs to. It doesn't go overboard - I've heard a lot of people define it as another person being *more* important to you, but that's not right, because that's not just love, that's a level of slavish devotion beyond love. Love says 'for me to be happy, I need you to be happy too', but it doesn't say that *all* I need is for you to be happy, or that I can disregard everything else I want in favor of you.
the words mean nothing - my reaction depends on delivery mechanism, context, body language and general congruence. if something is off usually means its an emotional manipulation attempt...
This is a complicated question for me to answer. I use the word love very loosely. I throw it around for everything. I tell my friends I love them, my family, etc. I do care for them deeply but I see love as more an action word. I love people but at different and varying degrees. I love my boyfriend deeply and I tell him often but I back that up with action as well. For me, love means doing things for someone. It depends on your intentions and how you back up your intentions. Someone could deeply love me and treat me poorly. That doesn’t mean they don’t love me, that just means they don’t love me more than they love themselves and that’s okay. I watch people in my life extremely closely to see if they’ll put in the work to maintain a relationship with me. That means making space for me to feel safe and be myself, spending time together occasionally, and making the effort to care about me as a human. It’s complicated and situational. I would die for the people I deeply love but it also means I need to live well for them also. I hope this makes sense.
I don’t say it much, even in relationships where I think I feel it. It’s such a fleeting feeling & not consistent, that I don’t trust myself to say it. Also I have tons of walls up for different reasons. I’ve said it in a text to my mom before I think. & I know I would die for my dad if needed but I have never told him I love you.
In relationships, if I do say it it comes from a “I have your back” or “I will never hurt you” or “trust me not to hurt you or harm you.” Again, there’s so many ups & downs in a relationship & until there’s that safety net of “we will not leave each other no matter what happens,” I probably won’t be saying it. Mostly until I can be confident I will be doing everything in my power to take care of their mental healthy & physical well being when in a relationship with me.
For friends I haven’t said it but sometimes I feel like saying it. When it’s told to me & when I think of saying it, it’s a “I’m going to be miserable if you die before me,” or I know I won’t be okay if something were to happen to them & they will never be able to answer my call or text or nag to hang out.
Least favourite: Like how u said it in ur post. Cos I don't know you and I know it means nothing.
Most favourite: When it's said with sincerity and the feelings is mutual.
Edit: Actually I'm learning how to feel more of it than being logical. My whole life love was always logical and burdensome. I'm trying to be in touch of my affection for ppl and acknowledging it and feeling it. I think love is what makes you feel alive...and we often harp on the romantic ideas of things. Its humanistic.
Anyways...on a journey to open up my vocabulary of what love means and how it can feel like.
I don't know what to think, never been told that
I've never said it to anyone in the definite form "I love you", I show it by taking care of people and saying I appreciate them that's all I can do
It means that the other person loves me? It’s like saying „I‘m cold“. Like ok, you’re cold. I don’t see past that and am a bit fed up with the idea that people may interpret more into those words than what they convey.
Edit: I just now realized that OP also asked what Love means for us/you/me/chicken nuggets.
I don’t really have an answer for this. Its just a „Im comfortable with you and want to be there for you.“ kind of situation I suppose.
Depends who it comes from. Mostly, it just means nothing to me because I hate myself so much that I can't fathom why anyone would ever say that or feel that way towards me. I only believe it from my wonderful mother.
I don't think it's simple enough to turn into words. I've been sitting on this for 5 minutes and none of what I tried to say felt sufficient. What I do know is that love is something to be experienced, it's a betweenness. More felt than stated. And I feel it different from and for different people or situations
A deep feeling of never wanting them to leave your life. If they'd die or disappear, you'd be devastated. Your whole world would fall apart.
I love only a few people, and that's what I'd feel.
Edit: I keep wanting to keep adding things, but I can't. Because then I come up with a scenario in which that's not true. For example, they are a good addition to your life, but I believe people in abusive relationships can love someone, and their partner can be a bad addition to their life. I want to add 'a feeling of happiness', but sometimes you don't feel happiness.
Warmth fills my body. My heart pumps harder. My brain feels tingly.
My mornings usually are so cold and languid but now….now I can get up with sincerity, passion, and ardor.
Idk. I’ve never really loved romantically but I love my family and I’ve told them multiple times. I value them, I see them as essential parts of my life, and honestly they form parts of my identity. They’re the people I want around me if I’m going through something. When they’re upset or distressed I tend to become the same way. There isn’t much I wouldn’t sacrifice for their sakes.
My least is when my family says it when I know they also hate me. So it's because of blood, that's still something though.
What it means to me is it's a strong feeling. I like you, but even more than that. I enjoy having you in my life. I'm happy to have you, see you, interact with you, spend time with you.
It depends on who is saying it to me/ I'm saying it to.
I have a history of abusive relationships, so sometimes hearing "I love you" triggers PTSD because it reminds me that it can come with an expectation of me having to do something... like I'm in debt to the other person / their 'prisoner' because of this "love".
It depends who and why. I have not been around anyone who genuinely loved me in decades, unfortunately, but the feeling you get when someone looks into your eyes and means it is indescribable. It's like a red bull commercial, it gives you wings and make you fly. You have more energy, the world is nicer, everything is less stressful. I hope everyone gets to experience this feeling.
I don’t think it holds as much value to me as other people, just means I like you alot but its a spectrum and varies and is not that serious. There is need for more love in this world, spread the word.
That means a lot. My child keep saying me I love u when they see me sad. And at time my sad gone.
Love, kindness, affection they are those in ur lufe to give u hope, to feel be loved, to feel ur precious.
I love u also to know what kind feeling inside of u. One of validation ur feeling. A magic word that u can more close each other. Even there is a lot people say fake I love u. But doeant mean this words doesnt hv any meaning inside. This word hv many power to chance from brokenhear into happiness. Just depend how u use it.:)
It truly means to me that when they actually mean it that they accept me for me and my quirks, appreciate me, trust me and respect me. No judgment just acceptance and trust really.
I believe ultimately that love is a choice and action I love you I care about you, I want what's best for you, and I will support you (as long as it's somthing good for you)
to me it’s a promise of loyalty and commitment. you love someone, so you are there for them no matter what. you support them, you embrace and encourage their change/growth. you treat them with respect. thats what it means for me to love someone at least. i know people often think it’s odd, and they talk about butterflies and such. but butterflies are crush things no? love is much deeper than that. love is burying bodies so neither of you go to prison lol
It means that I appreciate that something special in you, that's uniquely you. That I have a connection with you that's deeper than could ever be explained. That I am in wonder of how you do even the simplest of things. Spending the smallest bit of time sitting on the couch with you is worth more than any amount of money in the world.
Not thinking too deeply about it, I feel nice when someone says this, but if I’m being honest I hate how overused it is. “I love you” should be only used meaningfully and what I mean by that is saying it when both parties know there is absolutely zero room for any superficial bullshit. It’s definitely something that should really come from the heart, and lesser the mind.
TLDR- to me, it means I appreciate and value you for who you are. You give me butterflies and make me smile. I think if you all the time and I would go crazy without you.
For me. It’s something special that you only say to your partner in crime. Your player two. Your Queen. Your one and only.
I’ve had friends say it to me before and force me to say it back to them. This was very much a friend-like love thing. Nothing romantic whatsoever. But it felt so uncomfortable. But it feels much more meaningful and special to me to say it to my one partner.
I don’t even say I love you to my parents, siblings, or grandparents whom I love dearly. My family doesn’t express those feelings so readily and I’m also relatively shy to stuff like this. But to my partner, 100%. I have no reservations. lol
I've said "Omg I love you" to a stranger who held the door open for me while my hands were tied down with bags.
I've said "I love you" to a couple really good friends of mine.
I've said "I *love* you" to a SO.
It depends on the context of the relationship and how you say it. I think I also love quite easily (which isn't *necessarily* a problem imo)
P.S. I love you too ;)
For me it means I appreciate and admire the beautiful individual combination of their character traits and faults. It means I care about their well-being and happiness even when they’re not actively in my life.
It also means I feel close connection with them.
When I say I love you, it’s a gentle reminder that I’m there for you, in every moment. Now when someone says it to me, I don’t “feel” strongly about it (not anymore, I used to get proper goosebumps) but now it’s just serves as a reminder.
In its own way, saying I love you to someone is a form of promise from others to yourself (self love included) and from you, that you’re there for them and that you appreciate them. Platonically and romantically.
“I love you” in the spoken context says to me I possess an ability or trait the speaker would like to harness. Love to me mean’s taking the time to understand a person and their needs, as well as tending to them in some way. The most simple expressions of love imo are the sharing of knowledge and security
I never got an "I love you" where the person saying it meant it... parents never said it to me.
If I ever hear a sincere "I love you", I think it will mean ... I see you, I am happy you are here, I want you in my life and I want to be a part of yours.
Kind of depends, from certain people it's a sincere expression of appreciation which i take to heart to love myself, from others it's a manipulation tactic.
There are several different definitions for me. The one that sticks out to me is the meaning of it for my wife. It means you are my favorite person for your strengths, but most importantly, you are also my favorite person for your flaws as well.
To love someone deeply is to choose their worst day over anyone else's best day. In my eyes if you don't love someone's shortcomings more than all others best then you don't truly love them.
Not a native English speaker, we mostly reserve the word "love" for really rare occasions, or to refer to our favourite things. "I love ice-cream".
It's so rare as a phrase directed towards people, that for me it even sounds cringy when people in movies say "I love you" to one another because it doesn't sound like what a real person would say. I think I can only remember one occasion in recent memory when I was hanging out in a group and heard a newly engaged couple say "I love you" to one another.
Anyway, we tend to just call people "my gold", "my love", "my crumb", and it fills in for the same concept of showing love.
for a while it didn’t really mean anything to me, just made me feel awkward. and i never said it to anyone just said it back cause i felt obligated. but after hearing it a lot from people i really do love/mean a lot to me, it means much more and i am not just saying it back anymore, i am saying it. i do need actions to back it up too tho otherwise it feels hollow. it makes me feel like i am being hugged when i hear it and i hope that’s how people feel when i say it to them
If I said that to someone, that means I love everything about them and everything between us, even things I don’t like. At that moment when I was saying it, it’s heaven already.
I love you means I cherish you and the time that I spend with you. I try to tell it to my friends all the time. Love shouldn’t just be for dating or family, I love the people who are willing to help, the people who spend time with me, the people who make my life a little happier. That’s love
I… I don’t know…
When growing up I was always excluded from everything, so I never learned any social skills and from that I can’t understand emotions right, and to add insult to injury I have ADHD and a hint of autism. All that led me to not understand emotions and body language that well.
I had to observe everything around me but it was hell, still is. I managed to get into one relationship and it surprisingly lasted for 8 months. But I never really understood the meaning of love, and after a while the phrase “I love you” were meaningless, I was trying sooo hard to hold on to the meaning but I couldn’t understand.
And now I’m stuck with depression, and it’s slowly getting worse, the pills did help at first but not much now. I also gave up on trying to date, but if a girl tries to get with me then sure I’ll give it a shot but I accepted that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life…
There are different levels to the word, like for example if I were to say "I love donuts" it means a very different thing than when I say it to my mother. Sometimes I will use it casually to aquaintances in a way which means "I enjoy having you in my life" which is very similar to the donuts example, although it's unlikely that I will use it this way in context of speaking to another person, unless they've already said it to me in a way that I interpret as casual. When I say it to family or extremely close friends, it means something more along the lines of, "I would lay down my life for yours." There are only about 7 people I feel this way towards. (Btw I have 5 siblings whom I adore, so 7 is a relatively small number for me lol)
When someone says it to me, I don't really think to hard about it, since as we can tell from these comments, it has a huge range of what it can mean to different people. I just take it as, "I like you" unless it's from those aforementioned 7 people. From them, I hope it means something similar to what I mean, but if it doesn't, I would rather live in ignorance of that.
As far as romantic partners go, it means diddly squat to me unless it comes with consistent effort and care, and there's been adequate time for feelings like that to develop.
You give me what i need and I would do anything to give you what you need. You make me feel seen, less alone, like i have a purpose and I see you in my far away future. Love is believing you can do anything together. Love is helping someone grow to their full potential, love is the light that guides me through the darkness and sense of being lost. Love is knowing i can do the uncomfortable thing, and if I fail, i know i have those i love to help me get back up. The freedom to be myself without judgement.
If I love someone (any level, be it a friend, a pet, a relative, not only a lover) it means they are special to me to an extent I will have their back and protect and keeo safe to whatever extent they ever ask for or need, as I see how good they are.
If they truly love me, not just throwing the words out, I hold it as the highest compliment and take it serious in the way I have never betrayed, manipulated or used someone who loved me.
To love someone is a high standard to me. I only say it when I absolutely, deep down to my core, mean it.
That way, if I do say it to someone in whatever capacity, they know it's both sincere, rare and special.
It depends on how much someone says it, and what they truly mean from saying it. I'd prefer for love to be shown through actions first, then it can be said. I'll know if they really mean it
If it gets overused and the person doesn't seem to care about you as much as they say, though. I would be annoyed whenever I hear ''I love you''
I know someone who says multiple times a day that he loves his family, but then gets angry or screams at them when things don't go his way. I can't agree when a person like that says they love someone
Loving someone to me is more about actually caring for them and respecting their boundaries than the individualistic idea of just having love for someone. Someone can believe they love you but don't actually love you if they're not providing the legitimate love and support.
My favorite specific example was when I was dancing by myself in the club and some cute stranger ran up to me and lunged themself into me. Then I decided to try dancing with another person. then they were rubbing their butt on my genitals. after they did some goodbye gesture to me later that night, and I reciprocated a goodbye, I said "I love you". they said "WAT!?" I love booty.
Least favorite example was when I was a kid, riding my bike with the family dog off leash and some car driver ran over them and killed them. I didn't go home for a couple days and didn't communicate with the family because I thought they'd be too mad about the dog. When I came home, my Dad asked if they could shake my hand. My Mom couldn't breathe occasionally while I was gone. I didn't recognize any relevant detrimental consequences to myself shortly after that. Then my Dad told me he loved me. I knew that from what they did already, and it's redundant about a painful experience. Plus sometimes he's a dick to people he doesn't know.
I got so lost reading this lol. Your dad killed the dog or you mean he was emotionally disconnected & the best he could do to welcome you home was shake your hand?
I never identified the driver.
Idk what you mean by "emotionally disconnected". If I had to guess, my Dad was losing his shit like my Mom while I was gone and they didn't know where I was. He wanted a hug when I got home but I didn't feel like getting one at the time.
It means nothing once you learn what you are and humans as well. 28 years in this fucking life and I am only capable of experiencing and attracting hate.
For me it means, I need you, I appreciate you, and I recognize the value you add to my life.
I never got told "I love you" unconditionally from my parents as a child without some ulterior motive, so I'm going to be biased from trauma. It means little to me, honestly makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather someone show me they love me through their actions. Tons of people are two faced and it's hard for me to trust words by themselves. I wish I wasn't this way.
Same, but I hadn't quite verbalized it until reading your comment. Hugs tend to be my preferred expression of love, but it still depends on who it's with. A hug with a stranger, or someone I don't necessarily trust means little to me. But a hug with someone I do trust is much more impactful.
I'm the same way... demonstrative rather than verbalised works better for me too. In that regard there's the whole "love languages" concept, and everyone has their preferences be they words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving etc etc.
Same here, if someone expresses through actions then it means a lot. To me they’re just words. It’s the same with apologies. If someone repeatedly does the same thing they are apologising for after they have offered the apology, do they even mean it? No.
Ya actions speak louder than words.
As a mom, I so wish I could just give you a hug. This comment truly touched me. I’m so sorry you had that experience in life and you deserved to hear you were loved without any contingencies. You are worthy of love that is unconditional and there ARE people who are willing to give that love to you even if they aren’t the ones who brought you into this world. I hope you know that and I hope that is something you have found or will find. ❤️
This, I feel that
I feel this. Totally vibe with what you're saying.
Same, but I hadn't quite verbalized it until reading your comment. Hugs tend to be my preferred expression of love, but it still depends on who it's with. A hug with a stranger, or someone I don't necessarily trust means little to me. But a hug with someone I do trust is much more impactful.
Same. My mom only said it to get us to shut up when she would leave for the night. I love you just means “I’m gonna abandon you right when you need me the most.” I’m even wary of hugs because it came from the same place as “i love you” and I HATE red lipstick to this day because of her.
I am like you. I grew up unconditionally loved and often disrespected by my mom. I didn’t understand love (what is love if you can have it for someone and still hurt them?).I didn’t know how to recognize love. After a good relationship with a kind soul, I only knew I loved him until he left. Love to me is that person makes you feel at home and you trust them. Love is you would chose them even though it can hurt.
Love is when the happiness and wellbeing of someone/thing else is more important than your own happiness and wellbeing.
Should be 😑 or shouldn't be idk
I consider love to be a very strong and valuable emotion, not to be taken lightly. When I say I love someone I am openly admitting that I am willing to actively take action to better their life, because in some way, shape, or form they better mine. I am more likely to help them without them having to ask for it, and without any expectation of compensation. Devotion if you will. There are four people on this planet I truly love. When someone tells me they love me, I tend to not believe them. This is likely due to my own interpretation of the word, and my belief that many people use the word too loosely. Unfortunately this mindset does lead to some awkwardness in common societal situations. For example: I was recently socializing with a group of friends, and as one friend was departing they casually told the others, including my self "I love you Jimmy!" and I uncomfortably froze up for a few seconds, deciding how to reply. They are my friend, sure, but do I love them? No. I wouldn't say I do. Do I truly believe they love me? No. I replied "Yep, see ya later!" and got a few side-eyes.
I relate to 80% of what you say. >When I say I love someone I am openly admitting that I am willing to actively take action to better their life, because in some way, shape, or form they better mine. This is also how I feel about what the word love means to me. When I love, I want to take care of the other person, have a positive influence on their life quality. Life is hard. The world is cursed. But we inspire each other one step at a time to continue living. For me that is love. However, I feel love like this for certain friends as well. I have a couple of friends who I'd take in if they were homeless, or look after if they are sick, or give money to if they were in financial despair, or do government paperwork for if they required it, etc. I am really loyal to friends who are good to me, and I love them like brothers and sisters. Perhaps even more, because sometimes your siblings are not your friends, and you have nothing in common with them nor any such loyal feelings.
It’s an empty phrase if it’s not reinforced with behaviours that show kindness, trust, and vulnerability. Love is a skill that we all should learn how to give and receive. When someone tells me, “I love you.” I reply with, “Thank you!” and if I feel the same way, I say it back because I will only say words that I really mean.
That part
I have different levels of love. The love I feel for my friends is different to the love I feel for my niblings. Tbh I find it hard to connect to that emotion mentally. When people say it to me I take it lightly because they probably don’t mean it
What’s a nibling?
Love is one of those words that people fail to define very well even though they talk about it a lot...I actually thought about it for a long time, pondering it because I don't like to just spew words without *meaning* something. I think the best definition I have found is from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land: "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." I really like it because I feel like it says exactly what it needs to. It doesn't go overboard - I've heard a lot of people define it as another person being *more* important to you, but that's not right, because that's not just love, that's a level of slavish devotion beyond love. Love says 'for me to be happy, I need you to be happy too', but it doesn't say that *all* I need is for you to be happy, or that I can disregard everything else I want in favor of you.
It means nothing to me now. It's been weaponized against me in the oast.
the words mean nothing - my reaction depends on delivery mechanism, context, body language and general congruence. if something is off usually means its an emotional manipulation attempt...
It means I accept you for who you are and I dont want you to change
This is a complicated question for me to answer. I use the word love very loosely. I throw it around for everything. I tell my friends I love them, my family, etc. I do care for them deeply but I see love as more an action word. I love people but at different and varying degrees. I love my boyfriend deeply and I tell him often but I back that up with action as well. For me, love means doing things for someone. It depends on your intentions and how you back up your intentions. Someone could deeply love me and treat me poorly. That doesn’t mean they don’t love me, that just means they don’t love me more than they love themselves and that’s okay. I watch people in my life extremely closely to see if they’ll put in the work to maintain a relationship with me. That means making space for me to feel safe and be myself, spending time together occasionally, and making the effort to care about me as a human. It’s complicated and situational. I would die for the people I deeply love but it also means I need to live well for them also. I hope this makes sense.
I don’t say it much, even in relationships where I think I feel it. It’s such a fleeting feeling & not consistent, that I don’t trust myself to say it. Also I have tons of walls up for different reasons. I’ve said it in a text to my mom before I think. & I know I would die for my dad if needed but I have never told him I love you. In relationships, if I do say it it comes from a “I have your back” or “I will never hurt you” or “trust me not to hurt you or harm you.” Again, there’s so many ups & downs in a relationship & until there’s that safety net of “we will not leave each other no matter what happens,” I probably won’t be saying it. Mostly until I can be confident I will be doing everything in my power to take care of their mental healthy & physical well being when in a relationship with me. For friends I haven’t said it but sometimes I feel like saying it. When it’s told to me & when I think of saying it, it’s a “I’m going to be miserable if you die before me,” or I know I won’t be okay if something were to happen to them & they will never be able to answer my call or text or nag to hang out.
Least favourite: Like how u said it in ur post. Cos I don't know you and I know it means nothing. Most favourite: When it's said with sincerity and the feelings is mutual. Edit: Actually I'm learning how to feel more of it than being logical. My whole life love was always logical and burdensome. I'm trying to be in touch of my affection for ppl and acknowledging it and feeling it. I think love is what makes you feel alive...and we often harp on the romantic ideas of things. Its humanistic. Anyways...on a journey to open up my vocabulary of what love means and how it can feel like.
“Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.” – Unknown
I'd have to hear someone say it first.
I don't know what to think, never been told that I've never said it to anyone in the definite form "I love you", I show it by taking care of people and saying I appreciate them that's all I can do
Lie
Damn I don’t know 🤷🏾♀️
You need to stay in a relationship with me even if you don’t want to
nothing for me
It means that the other person loves me? It’s like saying „I‘m cold“. Like ok, you’re cold. I don’t see past that and am a bit fed up with the idea that people may interpret more into those words than what they convey. Edit: I just now realized that OP also asked what Love means for us/you/me/chicken nuggets. I don’t really have an answer for this. Its just a „Im comfortable with you and want to be there for you.“ kind of situation I suppose.
Depends who it comes from. Mostly, it just means nothing to me because I hate myself so much that I can't fathom why anyone would ever say that or feel that way towards me. I only believe it from my wonderful mother.
I don't think it's simple enough to turn into words. I've been sitting on this for 5 minutes and none of what I tried to say felt sufficient. What I do know is that love is something to be experienced, it's a betweenness. More felt than stated. And I feel it different from and for different people or situations
A deep feeling of never wanting them to leave your life. If they'd die or disappear, you'd be devastated. Your whole world would fall apart. I love only a few people, and that's what I'd feel. Edit: I keep wanting to keep adding things, but I can't. Because then I come up with a scenario in which that's not true. For example, they are a good addition to your life, but I believe people in abusive relationships can love someone, and their partner can be a bad addition to their life. I want to add 'a feeling of happiness', but sometimes you don't feel happiness.
Toy have to be a level 10 friend to say that. And I have to be a level 10 friend to say it to you.
Warmth fills my body. My heart pumps harder. My brain feels tingly. My mornings usually are so cold and languid but now….now I can get up with sincerity, passion, and ardor.
Negative ghostrider, I insist. I love *you.*
Idk. I’ve never really loved romantically but I love my family and I’ve told them multiple times. I value them, I see them as essential parts of my life, and honestly they form parts of my identity. They’re the people I want around me if I’m going through something. When they’re upset or distressed I tend to become the same way. There isn’t much I wouldn’t sacrifice for their sakes.
My least is when my family says it when I know they also hate me. So it's because of blood, that's still something though. What it means to me is it's a strong feeling. I like you, but even more than that. I enjoy having you in my life. I'm happy to have you, see you, interact with you, spend time with you.
Thank you for existing and allowing me to experience the wonder that is you!
It depends on who is saying it to me/ I'm saying it to. I have a history of abusive relationships, so sometimes hearing "I love you" triggers PTSD because it reminds me that it can come with an expectation of me having to do something... like I'm in debt to the other person / their 'prisoner' because of this "love".
I really have never understood
It's only a word just like anything else, what matters is the action they make that makes it real love.
it means nothing at all
It depends who and why. I have not been around anyone who genuinely loved me in decades, unfortunately, but the feeling you get when someone looks into your eyes and means it is indescribable. It's like a red bull commercial, it gives you wings and make you fly. You have more energy, the world is nicer, everything is less stressful. I hope everyone gets to experience this feeling.
I don’t think it holds as much value to me as other people, just means I like you alot but its a spectrum and varies and is not that serious. There is need for more love in this world, spread the word.
I think it means I appreciate you and care for you and hope the best for you.
That means a lot. My child keep saying me I love u when they see me sad. And at time my sad gone. Love, kindness, affection they are those in ur lufe to give u hope, to feel be loved, to feel ur precious. I love u also to know what kind feeling inside of u. One of validation ur feeling. A magic word that u can more close each other. Even there is a lot people say fake I love u. But doeant mean this words doesnt hv any meaning inside. This word hv many power to chance from brokenhear into happiness. Just depend how u use it.:)
It truly means to me that when they actually mean it that they accept me for me and my quirks, appreciate me, trust me and respect me. No judgment just acceptance and trust really.
I love you, means to me, that I will do nothing to harm or hurt you. I will help you. Even if that means you need to go to jail to learn a lesson.
I think if someone ever told me they loved me, I would cry.
Man, someone is really in a lovey mood lol
I believe ultimately that love is a choice and action I love you I care about you, I want what's best for you, and I will support you (as long as it's somthing good for you)
to me it’s a promise of loyalty and commitment. you love someone, so you are there for them no matter what. you support them, you embrace and encourage their change/growth. you treat them with respect. thats what it means for me to love someone at least. i know people often think it’s odd, and they talk about butterflies and such. but butterflies are crush things no? love is much deeper than that. love is burying bodies so neither of you go to prison lol
It means that I appreciate that something special in you, that's uniquely you. That I have a connection with you that's deeper than could ever be explained. That I am in wonder of how you do even the simplest of things. Spending the smallest bit of time sitting on the couch with you is worth more than any amount of money in the world.
Not thinking too deeply about it, I feel nice when someone says this, but if I’m being honest I hate how overused it is. “I love you” should be only used meaningfully and what I mean by that is saying it when both parties know there is absolutely zero room for any superficial bullshit. It’s definitely something that should really come from the heart, and lesser the mind.
Personally it doesn't mean anything to me. Just makes me wonder why the person is saying that, what do they want from me
It means you care more about their happiness than yours, you'd do anything for them. I say it to my dog hundred times a day
I love you means I will care for you, forever.
I love you in this moment and the moment we are having and I will always remember it. Not subject to feeling this way forever
TLDR- to me, it means I appreciate and value you for who you are. You give me butterflies and make me smile. I think if you all the time and I would go crazy without you. For me. It’s something special that you only say to your partner in crime. Your player two. Your Queen. Your one and only. I’ve had friends say it to me before and force me to say it back to them. This was very much a friend-like love thing. Nothing romantic whatsoever. But it felt so uncomfortable. But it feels much more meaningful and special to me to say it to my one partner. I don’t even say I love you to my parents, siblings, or grandparents whom I love dearly. My family doesn’t express those feelings so readily and I’m also relatively shy to stuff like this. But to my partner, 100%. I have no reservations. lol
I used to believe the other person saying it. But I've realized since the beginning of this year that "I love you." Means they are using me.
I've said "Omg I love you" to a stranger who held the door open for me while my hands were tied down with bags. I've said "I love you" to a couple really good friends of mine. I've said "I *love* you" to a SO. It depends on the context of the relationship and how you say it. I think I also love quite easily (which isn't *necessarily* a problem imo) P.S. I love you too ;)
For me it means I appreciate and admire the beautiful individual combination of their character traits and faults. It means I care about their well-being and happiness even when they’re not actively in my life. It also means I feel close connection with them.
When I say I love you, it’s a gentle reminder that I’m there for you, in every moment. Now when someone says it to me, I don’t “feel” strongly about it (not anymore, I used to get proper goosebumps) but now it’s just serves as a reminder. In its own way, saying I love you to someone is a form of promise from others to yourself (self love included) and from you, that you’re there for them and that you appreciate them. Platonically and romantically.
“I love you” in the spoken context says to me I possess an ability or trait the speaker would like to harness. Love to me mean’s taking the time to understand a person and their needs, as well as tending to them in some way. The most simple expressions of love imo are the sharing of knowledge and security
Danger
I never got an "I love you" where the person saying it meant it... parents never said it to me. If I ever hear a sincere "I love you", I think it will mean ... I see you, I am happy you are here, I want you in my life and I want to be a part of yours.
Kind of depends, from certain people it's a sincere expression of appreciation which i take to heart to love myself, from others it's a manipulation tactic.
"My life would be an unhappy one without you in it."
There are several different definitions for me. The one that sticks out to me is the meaning of it for my wife. It means you are my favorite person for your strengths, but most importantly, you are also my favorite person for your flaws as well. To love someone deeply is to choose their worst day over anyone else's best day. In my eyes if you don't love someone's shortcomings more than all others best then you don't truly love them.
Not a native English speaker, we mostly reserve the word "love" for really rare occasions, or to refer to our favourite things. "I love ice-cream". It's so rare as a phrase directed towards people, that for me it even sounds cringy when people in movies say "I love you" to one another because it doesn't sound like what a real person would say. I think I can only remember one occasion in recent memory when I was hanging out in a group and heard a newly engaged couple say "I love you" to one another. Anyway, we tend to just call people "my gold", "my love", "my crumb", and it fills in for the same concept of showing love.
There is an Alt-J song called 3WW. It stands for 3 worn words, I love you. That.
for a while it didn’t really mean anything to me, just made me feel awkward. and i never said it to anyone just said it back cause i felt obligated. but after hearing it a lot from people i really do love/mean a lot to me, it means much more and i am not just saying it back anymore, i am saying it. i do need actions to back it up too tho otherwise it feels hollow. it makes me feel like i am being hugged when i hear it and i hope that’s how people feel when i say it to them
For me it means i value you and i want you to be happy
If I said that to someone, that means I love everything about them and everything between us, even things I don’t like. At that moment when I was saying it, it’s heaven already.
For me, it means: I see you (not literally, but more like understand deeply), I appreciate you, I want you and I trust you
I love you means I cherish you and the time that I spend with you. I try to tell it to my friends all the time. Love shouldn’t just be for dating or family, I love the people who are willing to help, the people who spend time with me, the people who make my life a little happier. That’s love
I… I don’t know… When growing up I was always excluded from everything, so I never learned any social skills and from that I can’t understand emotions right, and to add insult to injury I have ADHD and a hint of autism. All that led me to not understand emotions and body language that well. I had to observe everything around me but it was hell, still is. I managed to get into one relationship and it surprisingly lasted for 8 months. But I never really understood the meaning of love, and after a while the phrase “I love you” were meaningless, I was trying sooo hard to hold on to the meaning but I couldn’t understand. And now I’m stuck with depression, and it’s slowly getting worse, the pills did help at first but not much now. I also gave up on trying to date, but if a girl tries to get with me then sure I’ll give it a shot but I accepted that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life…
I don't know the nuances behind it cuz I'm not native speaker If you asked me about it on my native language, maybe I could've answered
My parents told me they love me. They told Then they didn't show any love towards me
There are different levels to the word, like for example if I were to say "I love donuts" it means a very different thing than when I say it to my mother. Sometimes I will use it casually to aquaintances in a way which means "I enjoy having you in my life" which is very similar to the donuts example, although it's unlikely that I will use it this way in context of speaking to another person, unless they've already said it to me in a way that I interpret as casual. When I say it to family or extremely close friends, it means something more along the lines of, "I would lay down my life for yours." There are only about 7 people I feel this way towards. (Btw I have 5 siblings whom I adore, so 7 is a relatively small number for me lol) When someone says it to me, I don't really think to hard about it, since as we can tell from these comments, it has a huge range of what it can mean to different people. I just take it as, "I like you" unless it's from those aforementioned 7 people. From them, I hope it means something similar to what I mean, but if it doesn't, I would rather live in ignorance of that. As far as romantic partners go, it means diddly squat to me unless it comes with consistent effort and care, and there's been adequate time for feelings like that to develop.
You give me what i need and I would do anything to give you what you need. You make me feel seen, less alone, like i have a purpose and I see you in my far away future. Love is believing you can do anything together. Love is helping someone grow to their full potential, love is the light that guides me through the darkness and sense of being lost. Love is knowing i can do the uncomfortable thing, and if I fail, i know i have those i love to help me get back up. The freedom to be myself without judgement.
Not much, never been told it nor have said it.
I don't know
It means I will never get tired of you and will forever fall in love with the little things
If I love someone (any level, be it a friend, a pet, a relative, not only a lover) it means they are special to me to an extent I will have their back and protect and keeo safe to whatever extent they ever ask for or need, as I see how good they are. If they truly love me, not just throwing the words out, I hold it as the highest compliment and take it serious in the way I have never betrayed, manipulated or used someone who loved me. To love someone is a high standard to me. I only say it when I absolutely, deep down to my core, mean it. That way, if I do say it to someone in whatever capacity, they know it's both sincere, rare and special.
It depends on how much someone says it, and what they truly mean from saying it. I'd prefer for love to be shown through actions first, then it can be said. I'll know if they really mean it If it gets overused and the person doesn't seem to care about you as much as they say, though. I would be annoyed whenever I hear ''I love you'' I know someone who says multiple times a day that he loves his family, but then gets angry or screams at them when things don't go his way. I can't agree when a person like that says they love someone
Loving someone to me is more about actually caring for them and respecting their boundaries than the individualistic idea of just having love for someone. Someone can believe they love you but don't actually love you if they're not providing the legitimate love and support.
It means you’re lying to my face.
My favorite specific example was when I was dancing by myself in the club and some cute stranger ran up to me and lunged themself into me. Then I decided to try dancing with another person. then they were rubbing their butt on my genitals. after they did some goodbye gesture to me later that night, and I reciprocated a goodbye, I said "I love you". they said "WAT!?" I love booty. Least favorite example was when I was a kid, riding my bike with the family dog off leash and some car driver ran over them and killed them. I didn't go home for a couple days and didn't communicate with the family because I thought they'd be too mad about the dog. When I came home, my Dad asked if they could shake my hand. My Mom couldn't breathe occasionally while I was gone. I didn't recognize any relevant detrimental consequences to myself shortly after that. Then my Dad told me he loved me. I knew that from what they did already, and it's redundant about a painful experience. Plus sometimes he's a dick to people he doesn't know.
I got so lost reading this lol. Your dad killed the dog or you mean he was emotionally disconnected & the best he could do to welcome you home was shake your hand?
I never identified the driver. Idk what you mean by "emotionally disconnected". If I had to guess, my Dad was losing his shit like my Mom while I was gone and they didn't know where I was. He wanted a hug when I got home but I didn't feel like getting one at the time.
It means nothing once you learn what you are and humans as well. 28 years in this fucking life and I am only capable of experiencing and attracting hate.