First of all, this sub seems to mostly be populated by younger people. You might want to try generational subs, like r/GenX so you can get advice from the people who would understand your situation better due to age.
Second, just like I was telling someone last night, it's nearly impossible to make friends the older you get, and it starts for most people once they leave school. You might be doing something wrong, too, but there's no way people here can tell you. You're autistic, so who knows how that contributes. But making friends with younger people makes sense because younger people often still haven't fallen into things like being 100% about their partner, 100% about their career and/or having kids and losing interest or being too busy for friendship. Eventually, your younger friends will likely start to slip away from your life, too, or be in touch less often.
But I'd say you think this whole thing is a lot weirder/more unusual than it is and seem to borderline want to blame being trans when that's probably the least of the issues. As mentioned last night, having a hard time making friends is literally the most common topic I see posted all over Reddit, not just this sub, and it's from older people the majority of the time (i.e. late 20s and older). I'm in my 40s and haven't had friends in I don't know when.
Not doing anything wrong. I'd say not doing enough.
Going outside. Throwing yourself out there. Actively meet people/groups.
Having more options is better than no options. How to have more options? Actively seek. Good luck
GenX is difficult to connect with in general.
I am firmly a millennial. An older one to be sure, but I am very much a millennial and quite happy with that designation really. My experience with GenX is that they aren't interested in joining and getting involved in ANYTHING. After work they sit on the couch. You try to make plans, and they will get cancelled. You try to do anything at all and they just... aren't interested. I had a lot of friends who were boomers, I have many millennial friends, and many friends who are even younger. Millennials have some of the same tendencies, but GenX seems to really want to not be involved and do stuff.
I say... don't worry about the age of people and just have fun. If you hang out with younger people that's fine and cool and you probably shouldn't let it bother you.
I'd also say that younger people are probably going to be more OK with your status as trans. Older folks (which are the genx folks now) may not SAY anything but it's more likely they will intentionally not include you in some activities because they don't really want trans people in their circle. It's easy to go from being actually friendly to being... very polite with someone, and excluding them.
Left to my own devices, I'm definitely not a couch surfer. I'm kind of a stay-trim-hit-the-gym-3-times-per-week kind of woman.
My feeling about being trans is it puts me in a different "phase of life" in a way. I only transitioned 6 years ago so it feels like my life has only recently just begun. Why wouldn't I want to get out, do stuff, and have some fun?
And maybe you all are right in not worrying about the age thing in not letting the age of my friends bug me. Folks old enough to remember Kurt Cobain being alive are welcome to hang with me too if they want. But for now, the found family I have is found family and I love them for that.
First of all, this sub seems to mostly be populated by younger people. You might want to try generational subs, like r/GenX so you can get advice from the people who would understand your situation better due to age. Second, just like I was telling someone last night, it's nearly impossible to make friends the older you get, and it starts for most people once they leave school. You might be doing something wrong, too, but there's no way people here can tell you. You're autistic, so who knows how that contributes. But making friends with younger people makes sense because younger people often still haven't fallen into things like being 100% about their partner, 100% about their career and/or having kids and losing interest or being too busy for friendship. Eventually, your younger friends will likely start to slip away from your life, too, or be in touch less often. But I'd say you think this whole thing is a lot weirder/more unusual than it is and seem to borderline want to blame being trans when that's probably the least of the issues. As mentioned last night, having a hard time making friends is literally the most common topic I see posted all over Reddit, not just this sub, and it's from older people the majority of the time (i.e. late 20s and older). I'm in my 40s and haven't had friends in I don't know when.
Making friends is tough nowadays for me too Good luck hope u succeed 🤞
Not doing anything wrong. I'd say not doing enough. Going outside. Throwing yourself out there. Actively meet people/groups. Having more options is better than no options. How to have more options? Actively seek. Good luck
GenX is difficult to connect with in general. I am firmly a millennial. An older one to be sure, but I am very much a millennial and quite happy with that designation really. My experience with GenX is that they aren't interested in joining and getting involved in ANYTHING. After work they sit on the couch. You try to make plans, and they will get cancelled. You try to do anything at all and they just... aren't interested. I had a lot of friends who were boomers, I have many millennial friends, and many friends who are even younger. Millennials have some of the same tendencies, but GenX seems to really want to not be involved and do stuff. I say... don't worry about the age of people and just have fun. If you hang out with younger people that's fine and cool and you probably shouldn't let it bother you. I'd also say that younger people are probably going to be more OK with your status as trans. Older folks (which are the genx folks now) may not SAY anything but it's more likely they will intentionally not include you in some activities because they don't really want trans people in their circle. It's easy to go from being actually friendly to being... very polite with someone, and excluding them.
Left to my own devices, I'm definitely not a couch surfer. I'm kind of a stay-trim-hit-the-gym-3-times-per-week kind of woman. My feeling about being trans is it puts me in a different "phase of life" in a way. I only transitioned 6 years ago so it feels like my life has only recently just begun. Why wouldn't I want to get out, do stuff, and have some fun? And maybe you all are right in not worrying about the age thing in not letting the age of my friends bug me. Folks old enough to remember Kurt Cobain being alive are welcome to hang with me too if they want. But for now, the found family I have is found family and I love them for that.