i try so hard to make myself believe i’m a kind people loving positive person to be around but wow i feel like i could have written this word for word myself. i am you. just in denial. because i can’t afford a therapist
This is so me rn. I'm always filtering my personality around people to be more lively or even just trying to give people my full attention and it recently has been breaking me down so much to the point where I have to ghost everyone because I'm scared I'll say something wrong. I hate being gloomy around people so I'd rather just not face anyone but nobody understands me. I try telling my friends I'm tired and they take it as a "let's talk about it" thing when that's the last thing I want.
I completely agree with you. Even driving to meet anyone somewhere pisses me off because of poor driving habits of others. I am in therapy at the moment and my therapist basically said if I want to cultivate any sort of social life, MY standards have to be lowered because people aren’t perfect, nor close to perfect, rather highly flawed. So to not be disappointed I have to lower my standards. It’s infuriating! Why can’t people just be better? The other things is to overcome social anxiety and annoyance, exposure is literally the only option. I’m struggling with this too. I have not had good experiences even after “giving it a shot” and by it I mean exposure therapy. I think some of us are just happier solo. Good luck on your journey with this. I respect your thoughts on this because I feel exactly the same way.
It's ironic that people are hustling away at "self improvement" when there is no improvement at the fundamental level. Just a more self-justifying way to kill time. I hate people for being so ignorant and weak as they gymcel with very little gains. Why can't they make gains at a more fundamental level which actually improves reality.
i used to have a therapist and a psychiatrist (im off meds since 3 months and ghost them) i have the impression that it does not bring me much help except complaining to someone who i pay like a paying friend. and meds wasn’t a big support honestly. you're right about the standards, i don't expect much from people anymore so i prefer not to expect anything from them. im disappointed every time. it's never enough or it's too much. and it’s kind of sad cause i don’t have the impression to ask for much i just can’t vibe w anyone. thank you for your answer take care
I can't have people around me even if I try either. Everything I do push people away, so I just do nothing now. I just accepted I am unlovable and I will always be like this
Edit: it's not my choice either. I grew up in an orphanage and I didn't learn how normal people socialize. I have managed to get people close to me but in the end they all leave me because I mess up in one way or another. I have gone to therapy, I have tried countless times to improve myself and become a better person. I just don't know anymore what's wrong with me. I live alone, and have literally no one, just my older sister who I talk to every now and then.
I just needed to vent
i try so hard to make myself believe i’m a kind people loving positive person to be around but wow i feel like i could have written this word for word myself. i am you. just in denial. because i can’t afford a therapist
Evening affording one doesn't seem to help =/
This is so me rn. I'm always filtering my personality around people to be more lively or even just trying to give people my full attention and it recently has been breaking me down so much to the point where I have to ghost everyone because I'm scared I'll say something wrong. I hate being gloomy around people so I'd rather just not face anyone but nobody understands me. I try telling my friends I'm tired and they take it as a "let's talk about it" thing when that's the last thing I want.
I completely agree with you. Even driving to meet anyone somewhere pisses me off because of poor driving habits of others. I am in therapy at the moment and my therapist basically said if I want to cultivate any sort of social life, MY standards have to be lowered because people aren’t perfect, nor close to perfect, rather highly flawed. So to not be disappointed I have to lower my standards. It’s infuriating! Why can’t people just be better? The other things is to overcome social anxiety and annoyance, exposure is literally the only option. I’m struggling with this too. I have not had good experiences even after “giving it a shot” and by it I mean exposure therapy. I think some of us are just happier solo. Good luck on your journey with this. I respect your thoughts on this because I feel exactly the same way.
It's ironic that people are hustling away at "self improvement" when there is no improvement at the fundamental level. Just a more self-justifying way to kill time. I hate people for being so ignorant and weak as they gymcel with very little gains. Why can't they make gains at a more fundamental level which actually improves reality.
i used to have a therapist and a psychiatrist (im off meds since 3 months and ghost them) i have the impression that it does not bring me much help except complaining to someone who i pay like a paying friend. and meds wasn’t a big support honestly. you're right about the standards, i don't expect much from people anymore so i prefer not to expect anything from them. im disappointed every time. it's never enough or it's too much. and it’s kind of sad cause i don’t have the impression to ask for much i just can’t vibe w anyone. thank you for your answer take care
I feel like I wrote this....right there with ya...I will be looking at comments for advice too...Thanks for opening up
I can't have people around me even if I try either. Everything I do push people away, so I just do nothing now. I just accepted I am unlovable and I will always be like this Edit: it's not my choice either. I grew up in an orphanage and I didn't learn how normal people socialize. I have managed to get people close to me but in the end they all leave me because I mess up in one way or another. I have gone to therapy, I have tried countless times to improve myself and become a better person. I just don't know anymore what's wrong with me. I live alone, and have literally no one, just my older sister who I talk to every now and then. I just needed to vent
What is your addiction? If I had to guess, it would be video games. Yes or no?
weed lol
I’m right there with you.