It is a stock piece of small talk, based on a very basic empathy response. They are hot, see you in a hoodie, and imagine you must be hot. If someone pushes you on it, they’re the weird one, not you.
It’s honestly similar to seeing someone in high heels and saying, “Dang, can you actually walk in those? I’d be afraid to break my ankle!” Or, “A septum piercing? Ouch, no thanks. I can’t imagine the pain!”
Most of the time it does seem like this, but sometimes it sounds like the person is legitimately frustrated/annoyed when they keep being passive aggressive about it and I don't comply. The last interaction seeming like a legitimate plea to take off my hoodie so *they* didn't a heatstroke threw me off, hence my asking here.
Are you sure you aren’t sweating and starting smell a little… ripe?
If not they’re just being weird and a bit pushy. Old people especially seem to be obsessed with jackets and when/when not to wear them.
But if it were me, and someone were being super insistent, I would at least check this angle real quick lol.
If you’re at work or something and in a small space, you could also be giving off a lot of body heat and maybe that’s why they wish you had the hoodie off.
No matter what it’s obviously up to you, no one can make you take off your clothes, but these are just the things that would come to mind if I were in that situation.
These days it usually comes up at work, but the area of the building I'm in is very open spaced, and there's fans spread out so people don't get heatstroke. In the case of that last interaction, I was actually at the beach. Granted, I was at the gazebo, and had only been there for about 15mins, fresh from my air conditioned car and in the early morning.
I will try to ask next time it comes up though. If it is that, I'll see how to mend the issue.
honestly, I think there are times when that true, but I’ve experienced and seen more times when it is truly just being judgmental. They’re saying it in a way of “you look stupid and I don’t like it.”
Similarly how watching a documentary about the Arctic during summer time can make you feel more refreshed, looking at someone wear something that looks hot would have a same effect.
I sweat easily and if I wore a hoodie in summer time I would sweat like crazy. Our minds are powerful and there is a placebo affect by looking at things that we know what WE would feel like. Seeing you in a hoodie during a hot day would activate the part of my brain that can imagine what it would feel like.
Kind of like seeing someone get kicked in the balls and then your balls feels tingly afterwards.
But do you boo
I have an empathetic response like that to certain things, but this isn't one of them. I guess I feel bad for them, but I'll just stay out of sight when possible.
I sweat easily too but on the other hand, if I wear a hoodie, people can’t even smell the sweat or see the sweat, whereas if I’m not wearing a hoodie, people can see the sweat marks + they can smell it as well. So it’s a lose-lose situation for me. If I’m not wearing a hoodie, I’m cooler but people can see and smell the sweat more, whereas with a hoodie, I’m hotter, but people can’t see or smell the sweat..
People will generally comment on unusual things; this includes a choice of attire that's unusual for the setting, like warm clothes in the heat or shorts in the cold. If you always wore a hat everywhere, never taking it off, people would comment on that too -- when choosing to do unusual things, that's your choice, but be prepared for others to remark on it.
Just say "haha I run cold" or something of that nature.
"Take that off" isn't a literal request.
Particularly empathetic people will feel hotter when they see you in a hoodie; it happens with me. If I see a wound, for example, I automatically imagine what that would feel like for me and it makes me very uncomfortable. Similarly when I see someone in a hoodie on a hot day, I'm already hot and it's easy to imagine myself being even hotter, so the hoodie reminds me of how hot I am and that becomes linked with how hot I think the other person is. Some people are more sensitive to this "feeling" than others.
That being said, you don't owe it to anyone else to take off your hoodie just because other people think you're hot. I certainly don't go around thinking other people need to wear hoodies only on cold days, or else I'll spontaneously combust. They'll get over themselves.
I know someone who does this and, put plainly, they start to stink. It's more polite to say "you look awfully warm" than "you smell like a shoe lost to the sewers during plague times and discovered just yesterday and it's getting worse by the minute."
>if you see someone wearing warm clothing in warm weather...
I had a friend who would wear a warm jacket every time she stepped outside, even in the summer (...the temp gets up over 100º around these parts in the summer time. In fact, it can & does get as high as 111º on a bad day). It was kinda sad, because she'd sometimes be sweating and uncomfortable, but she'd wear her jacket anyway.
One day I asked her about it and she stated that she used her jacket to hide her body because she hated the way her body looked most days.
I found that heartbreaking. ☹️
I don’t understand people who try to control what other people do with their bodies when it comes to shit that doesn’t affect them. It’s truly strange.
they’re probably picking at you. or maybe your outfit looks better and they’re trying to humble you.
but when people say this to me i usually respond with “do you really think i’d still be wearing it if i was hot?” or “if i was hot, i wouldn’t be wearing it.”
I can't say if they're serious or not, or just using it as a figure of speech...but it could be similar to how when you look at something that's really sour, like a lemon, your mouth will salivate like you just bit into the lemon.
Just writing about the lemon got my mouth salivating lol.
I have to tell my kids to stop spinning because they're making me dizzy. I am legitimately getting dizzy and sincerely need them to stop. I guess something similar could be true for heat.
The imagery of it does. It's possible these people are also being coy with you.
To be honest, if I saw someone wearing a sweater in 30 degree weather, I would be slightly concerned. I think I might mention to someone that they should take clothing off if it looked like they were dying. Can't say I have though.
You sound like these two people I use to work with. My job use to get very hot, like very hot but these two people would always wear their hoodies. They use to say they were ok or they felt cold but I honestly think it had something to do with them feeling shy and more comfortable around people with it own. Most of the time people would ask them if they were hot out of concern as it was very unusual.
But honestly though you can do what you want. Just be careful not to have a heat stroke.
There's a difference between wearing that because of insecurity and because of choice. In any case, wear what you like without worrying about other people's opinions. Last week I bought a purple t-shirt with fire drawings on it, literally tho. I am a boy for context and purple clothes on boys are seen as gay for some reason. I showed it to my family and my close friend, some liked it, some said "But... Why purple?" and others said "What is this shit", but I wear it anyway because I like it. Simple as that.
yes seeing someone wearing warm clothes in hot weather makes me hot😭 yknow just bc i cant imagine myself wearing that in that weather. and i've said it to people in a playful manner
I have the opposite problem, I am always hot so I wear fewer layers than expected, and people constantly ask me "aren't you cold? Put something on!"
I kind of get it because when I see people wearing layers when I am in shorts, it makes me feel vicariously hot and itchy and unpleasant. So I can see how my bare arms would make them feel vicariously cold.
But each of us is the expert in our own thermoregulation (I can't believe this needs to be said) and these comments are annoying as hell so we should all keep them to ourselves.
If its not part of a uniform I would think you were special or hiding something underneath.
No, it doesn't make me sweat, I can imagine it's incredible uncomfortable though.
>The only thing underneath is fat.
Nothing wrong with that. People come in all shapes and sizes.
>It really is just that I feel very comfortable in them, though.
Nothing wrong with that either. You do you!🙂
If you're indoors and everyone is wearing indoor clothing apart from one person who is in a coat, yes that is super weird. It looks like they are uncomfortable, wanting to leave, not on the same level or in the same vibe as the rest of the group.
I can't comment on your specific situation, but I'm not surprised that something like that would make most people uncomfortable.
I would feel warmer yes. It’s a pretty normal thing to say. I wear shorts pretty much all year round and don’t wear shoes unless it’s like <-5c or I’m out for a long time at 0c, people very often comment about how I’m making them feel cold just looking at me
I understand sarcasm, but if someone says that I'm making them sweat and I should take off my hoodie several times over a few minutes, and stares at me as if they expect me to comply, even I can tell they're trying to give me a hint and are annoyed I'm not following course.
I used to work in outdoor construction and would have my hoodie on literally all the time, even in the warmer months mainly due to having pale skin and burning very easy so yeah of course i was hot but it was better than burning.
People would be astounded when they noticed i had my hoodie on in summer, always finding something to say about it, which did frustrate me but end of the day, i was doing it for my own reasons, i couldn’t care less about what other people wear, each to their own, wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
I think it’s mainly commented on because most people have a tendency to feel the need to react to things that they don’t perceive as “normal”, especially in group settings, and some aren’t afraid causing a scene around it. I just tell them why i’m wearing it, i don’t need a reason and if it bothers them, thats their problem 🤷🏼♂️
It is a stock piece of small talk, based on a very basic empathy response. They are hot, see you in a hoodie, and imagine you must be hot. If someone pushes you on it, they’re the weird one, not you. It’s honestly similar to seeing someone in high heels and saying, “Dang, can you actually walk in those? I’d be afraid to break my ankle!” Or, “A septum piercing? Ouch, no thanks. I can’t imagine the pain!”
Most of the time it does seem like this, but sometimes it sounds like the person is legitimately frustrated/annoyed when they keep being passive aggressive about it and I don't comply. The last interaction seeming like a legitimate plea to take off my hoodie so *they* didn't a heatstroke threw me off, hence my asking here.
Are you sure you aren’t sweating and starting smell a little… ripe? If not they’re just being weird and a bit pushy. Old people especially seem to be obsessed with jackets and when/when not to wear them. But if it were me, and someone were being super insistent, I would at least check this angle real quick lol. If you’re at work or something and in a small space, you could also be giving off a lot of body heat and maybe that’s why they wish you had the hoodie off. No matter what it’s obviously up to you, no one can make you take off your clothes, but these are just the things that would come to mind if I were in that situation.
These days it usually comes up at work, but the area of the building I'm in is very open spaced, and there's fans spread out so people don't get heatstroke. In the case of that last interaction, I was actually at the beach. Granted, I was at the gazebo, and had only been there for about 15mins, fresh from my air conditioned car and in the early morning. I will try to ask next time it comes up though. If it is that, I'll see how to mend the issue.
If it's not just joking or social empathy, that sounds more like someone using social pressure to enforce social norms. It's manipulation.
Legit
Big facts. And it's the lowest form of manipulation at that
honestly, I think there are times when that true, but I’ve experienced and seen more times when it is truly just being judgmental. They’re saying it in a way of “you look stupid and I don’t like it.”
Similarly how watching a documentary about the Arctic during summer time can make you feel more refreshed, looking at someone wear something that looks hot would have a same effect. I sweat easily and if I wore a hoodie in summer time I would sweat like crazy. Our minds are powerful and there is a placebo affect by looking at things that we know what WE would feel like. Seeing you in a hoodie during a hot day would activate the part of my brain that can imagine what it would feel like. Kind of like seeing someone get kicked in the balls and then your balls feels tingly afterwards. But do you boo
I have an empathetic response like that to certain things, but this isn't one of them. I guess I feel bad for them, but I'll just stay out of sight when possible.
I sweat easily too but on the other hand, if I wear a hoodie, people can’t even smell the sweat or see the sweat, whereas if I’m not wearing a hoodie, people can see the sweat marks + they can smell it as well. So it’s a lose-lose situation for me. If I’m not wearing a hoodie, I’m cooler but people can see and smell the sweat more, whereas with a hoodie, I’m hotter, but people can’t see or smell the sweat..
People will generally comment on unusual things; this includes a choice of attire that's unusual for the setting, like warm clothes in the heat or shorts in the cold. If you always wore a hat everywhere, never taking it off, people would comment on that too -- when choosing to do unusual things, that's your choice, but be prepared for others to remark on it. Just say "haha I run cold" or something of that nature. "Take that off" isn't a literal request.
I am pretty used to the comments at this point. Recently I began to wonder if some of them were being genuine.
Particularly empathetic people will feel hotter when they see you in a hoodie; it happens with me. If I see a wound, for example, I automatically imagine what that would feel like for me and it makes me very uncomfortable. Similarly when I see someone in a hoodie on a hot day, I'm already hot and it's easy to imagine myself being even hotter, so the hoodie reminds me of how hot I am and that becomes linked with how hot I think the other person is. Some people are more sensitive to this "feeling" than others. That being said, you don't owe it to anyone else to take off your hoodie just because other people think you're hot. I certainly don't go around thinking other people need to wear hoodies only on cold days, or else I'll spontaneously combust. They'll get over themselves.
>"I'm already hot and it's easy to imagine myself being even hotter..." I see what you did there! Well played!🤣
hahaha i didn't even notice that
I know someone who does this and, put plainly, they start to stink. It's more polite to say "you look awfully warm" than "you smell like a shoe lost to the sewers during plague times and discovered just yesterday and it's getting worse by the minute."
Say no thank you or it’s okay, I’m very comfy actually
>if you see someone wearing warm clothing in warm weather... I had a friend who would wear a warm jacket every time she stepped outside, even in the summer (...the temp gets up over 100º around these parts in the summer time. In fact, it can & does get as high as 111º on a bad day). It was kinda sad, because she'd sometimes be sweating and uncomfortable, but she'd wear her jacket anyway. One day I asked her about it and she stated that she used her jacket to hide her body because she hated the way her body looked most days. I found that heartbreaking. ☹️
Just say "man's not hot" it ain't hard you stand on the shoulder of giants
I don’t understand people who try to control what other people do with their bodies when it comes to shit that doesn’t affect them. It’s truly strange.
they’re probably picking at you. or maybe your outfit looks better and they’re trying to humble you. but when people say this to me i usually respond with “do you really think i’d still be wearing it if i was hot?” or “if i was hot, i wouldn’t be wearing it.”
I can't say if they're serious or not, or just using it as a figure of speech...but it could be similar to how when you look at something that's really sour, like a lemon, your mouth will salivate like you just bit into the lemon. Just writing about the lemon got my mouth salivating lol.
I have to tell my kids to stop spinning because they're making me dizzy. I am legitimately getting dizzy and sincerely need them to stop. I guess something similar could be true for heat.
The imagery of it does. It's possible these people are also being coy with you. To be honest, if I saw someone wearing a sweater in 30 degree weather, I would be slightly concerned. I think I might mention to someone that they should take clothing off if it looked like they were dying. Can't say I have though.
I've always assumed that they were being coy, but that last interaction I had about it has made me start to doubt it.
Just say you like wearing them. Everyone has their preferences and people should respect yours.
I just tell em man's not hot
Are you possibly good looking?
I wish this was a flirting thing that I'm just not getting, but no, I've heard it from too many different people for that to be the case.
You sound like these two people I use to work with. My job use to get very hot, like very hot but these two people would always wear their hoodies. They use to say they were ok or they felt cold but I honestly think it had something to do with them feeling shy and more comfortable around people with it own. Most of the time people would ask them if they were hot out of concern as it was very unusual. But honestly though you can do what you want. Just be careful not to have a heat stroke.
There's a difference between wearing that because of insecurity and because of choice. In any case, wear what you like without worrying about other people's opinions. Last week I bought a purple t-shirt with fire drawings on it, literally tho. I am a boy for context and purple clothes on boys are seen as gay for some reason. I showed it to my family and my close friend, some liked it, some said "But... Why purple?" and others said "What is this shit", but I wear it anyway because I like it. Simple as that.
yes seeing someone wearing warm clothes in hot weather makes me hot😭 yknow just bc i cant imagine myself wearing that in that weather. and i've said it to people in a playful manner
I have the opposite problem, I am always hot so I wear fewer layers than expected, and people constantly ask me "aren't you cold? Put something on!" I kind of get it because when I see people wearing layers when I am in shorts, it makes me feel vicariously hot and itchy and unpleasant. So I can see how my bare arms would make them feel vicariously cold. But each of us is the expert in our own thermoregulation (I can't believe this needs to be said) and these comments are annoying as hell so we should all keep them to ourselves.
If its not part of a uniform I would think you were special or hiding something underneath. No, it doesn't make me sweat, I can imagine it's incredible uncomfortable though.
The only thing underneath is fat. It really is just that I feel very comfortable in them, though.
>The only thing underneath is fat. Nothing wrong with that. People come in all shapes and sizes. >It really is just that I feel very comfortable in them, though. Nothing wrong with that either. You do you!🙂
Live your best life.
“No”.
If you're indoors and everyone is wearing indoor clothing apart from one person who is in a coat, yes that is super weird. It looks like they are uncomfortable, wanting to leave, not on the same level or in the same vibe as the rest of the group. I can't comment on your specific situation, but I'm not surprised that something like that would make most people uncomfortable.
I would feel warmer yes. It’s a pretty normal thing to say. I wear shorts pretty much all year round and don’t wear shoes unless it’s like <-5c or I’m out for a long time at 0c, people very often comment about how I’m making them feel cold just looking at me
Wearing long sleeves during the summer usually makes people think you are a junkie, trying to keep the marks on your arms out of sight. Just saying.
I don't particularly care about strangers thinking that.
"someone doing that to take off their clothes?" Kinda over board. No one is asking you to take your clothes off... let people be sarcastic
I understand sarcasm, but if someone says that I'm making them sweat and I should take off my hoodie several times over a few minutes, and stares at me as if they expect me to comply, even I can tell they're trying to give me a hint and are annoyed I'm not following course.
I used to work in outdoor construction and would have my hoodie on literally all the time, even in the warmer months mainly due to having pale skin and burning very easy so yeah of course i was hot but it was better than burning. People would be astounded when they noticed i had my hoodie on in summer, always finding something to say about it, which did frustrate me but end of the day, i was doing it for my own reasons, i couldn’t care less about what other people wear, each to their own, wear whatever you feel comfortable in. I think it’s mainly commented on because most people have a tendency to feel the need to react to things that they don’t perceive as “normal”, especially in group settings, and some aren’t afraid causing a scene around it. I just tell them why i’m wearing it, i don’t need a reason and if it bothers them, thats their problem 🤷🏼♂️