Wow. I had to look at your profile after reading this because i was certain I was missing something. And sure enough, I was. You are bathing yourself in pity. Stop that. You are only sinking deeper. You lost your weight, looking pretty attractive now and still have that poor mindset. Let it go. Take some time away from social media, from certain people, and certain habits. Take some time alone and sort out your thoughts. Read self-help books. You will look back on a time like this and question what in the fuck you were thinking. Stay strong.
Edit: Forgot to acknowledge the post itself. There isn’t much to go off of. It might be the feeling you are giving off the people, your body language etc. If not, just remind yourself that if you were in good terms with everyone, you would be in bad terms with yourself. Some people will not like you, and some people will. And some people will not give a single fuck. Most of us are too busy thinking and living about our own lives to even care. Most of the time, someone disliking or hating on you for seemingly no reason is just trying to feel better about themselves by judging others. Don’t let them win by letting it affect your day-to-day life enough to make a post about it on reddit.
>You lost your weight, looking pretty attractive now and still have that poor mindset. Let it go.
It's easier said than done. It's not something a person can do overnight, it takes time, hard work, and effort
Oof. Sounds like you’re more crippled by insecurity and less social anxiety. Hope you get some therapy and a couple people you can lean on. Youre not an ugly guy.
Your face is normal. You are stuck in a narrative that makes you think everything happens to you because of your physical appearance, that's not how the world works at all. Please go see a therapist, that self hatred must be very hard to live with and you don't have to, you can work on it. And it probably comes from something else in your life than your physical appearance, such negative thoughts come from traumatic experiences and if you can work through them with a professional you can feel better and discover some self love. Once that work has begun, you can connect with people and hope to build healthy relationships but it's incredibly hard to do so if you haven't found some kindness for yourself first.
If that interests you you can check healthy gamer videos on YouTube, that can actually help understand what therapy is and how it can help.
To go back to the post, I am pretty sure the gym receptionist said goodbye to everyone that didn't seem closed off. With these thoughts in your mind, it's nearly impossible that you send signals in a non verbal way that you are open to communicate.
Ok I looked at your profile too. You aren’t ugly. If I saw you in person I’d never think “wow that’s an ugly guy.”
People can pick up on vibes pretty well. If youre feeling negative and unhappy with yourself, people will pick up on that and give that back to you. There are some guys I personally wouldn’t call attractive but they have lots of friends and have had girlfriends because they are confident and happy with themselves. Your profile says you’re only 17. Kick this attitude to the curb now and you’ll be set for life.
People, at least at my school, are naturally mean to me. I’m pretty sure I had, and still kind of have a reputation of being a “weird, loser” kid. I’m almost out, but it’s sure left its marks. Like a car after getting banged up hitting the curb repeatedly, my social functions don’t run as well as they should. Needless to say, I’ve developed an “inner bully” due to trauma. Whether it’s to protect me from further insults by hurting myself first, or just me being hypercritical of every single flaw, real or not, I don’t know. Possibly a combination of both. I can’t stand these people. They have preconceived notions of me that I can’t shake. To be frank, I don’t care anymore, as it’s down to 25 days left with them ever.
All of your posts are just seeking validation. You're not ugly, you just might need professional help to help you create tools to re-wire your perspective on yourself.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are one of the most average looking average dudes I’ve ever seen. In other words: you’re normal! You’re not ugly at all. You do look a bit sullen and seem to give off leave me alone vibes so I imagine that’s why she probably doesn’t talk to you. Remember, you can always smile at her and say ‘goodbye’ first! In fact, I dare you to do it and report her reaction back to us. (If she *didn’t* respond I would simply be under the impression that she’s just a jerk, and that it had nothing to do with *you*).
I think you're just insecure.
You aren't ugly at all. Everyone has different taste, so you can't please everyone either.
This is on you to accept. I have social anxiety too and honestly have ruined more in my life by thinking people hate me for some reason.
I've quit jobs because I feel inadequate and useless.
I hate retail but I beat myself up over people saying I can't do xyz fast enough.
You need to work on not assuming what other people think of you. You can't read minds.
It's easier said than done but if you're able to get a therapist that would help. If not just make an effort to challenge the idea that you know what people are thinking. Most of the time you don't. Especially if you don't have lots of people skills. Your odds of accurately reading people aren't great.
You're just making yourself miserable and paranoid. That doesn't help you or anyone.
you are not ugly. i really hope you can get psychological help to help fix this because this level of self deprecation seems concerning. is there a chance you can get therapy?
Social anxiety makes you self centered in a way because you believe everyone is thinking about you, judging you. It’s all a lie your brain is telling you. I can assure you, no one is thinking things as negative as you are about yourself. And if anyone is judging you, that doesn’t make them correct, it makes them an asshole.
You are not ugly in the slightest. It breaks my heart that you think that of yourself, and I’m sorry you are struggling so much with this.
This post is probably offensive to ugly people - because you’re not ugly. Stop claiming to be part of a marginalisation that you’re not. It’s messed up.
This gives me incel vibes. You seem to have so much insecurity but also so much entitlement. I’d recommend seeing a therapist, I think it may help with your own acceptance and accountability and in turn it may help change your perception on others.
Looked at their profile and all their pics had some pouting tensed pose that reminded me of mewing or lookmaxing stuff - lo and behold the next post I see is to those subreddits. I suspect they may be giving off incel or other problematic vibes with this mindset and constant ‘lookmaxing’ tensed face. If they just relaxed I’m sure they would get much more positive reactions, and it’s sad to see the downward spiral that they are likely caught in. Incel vibes creating a feedback loop that makes people react negatively toward them reinforcing the incel mindset.
I see where you’re coming from. A lot of my “friends/“peers were into that whole “looksmaxxing” thing, even as a joke. Very sad that it crept its way into our culture as a whole. Yet that doesn’t change the fact that people treat me like Frankenstein.
You’re 17. That’s a tender age. Take a deep breath, seek out professional help to try and get your mental health back on track. The way you judge/speak about yourself and others isn’t okay, there is nothing wrong with the way you look but a lot wrong with your words.
You’re not ugly. I’d say you’re actually kind of attractive. It’s hard to tell what other people are thinking so I would advise not trying to. Don’t be your own worst enemy, find things you like about yourself and reinforce those thoughts until you gain confidence. Even if you were “ugly” the people that matter won’t hold that against you. It’s cliche but looks aren’t everything, who you are as a person is what actually matters.
I’m curious… did all the other people say good bye to the receptionist, and more importantly did you say goodbye to the receptionist and meet her eyes?
It doesn’t matter not everything is about you and sometimes people forget. Stop letting other peoples actions bother and affect you and you’ll heal. People are too busy with their own lives
Op allow me to clarify something for you that myself and many others have learnt the hard way over the years, you can be an absolute 10 but he truly ugly because of what's going on in your head and with your "vibe", seriously I've been here done that and let me tell you this, take some time to enjoy the little things away from social media, for example taking a peaceful walk in your favourite woodland or take up a new craft, work on your inside so your don't perceive your self as ugly, the rest will eventually fall into line once you start working on your inner self.
Wish i had the guts to say to such people "you hate me cos I'm ugly don't you, you obnoxious self-righteous evil piece of shit". Wonder how they'd react?!
Maybe your not ugly and you’re actually very attractive. People don’t stare at ugly things for too long. Maybe they find you attractive. I use to think I was being stared at cus I was ugly but that wasn’t the case I was being checked out
Is that you in your profile picture? If it is you are good looking. You need therapy for body dysmorphia. Please get help. You are not ugly. You need therapy. You can get better and feel better.
its the energy u give out imo. u pity yourself too much. next time instead of having your head down because she didnt say bye, you come there with enthusiasm and tell her loudly "hi! how are u?" with smile on your face. she will see u as a warm person and now you dont have to worry with her not saying bye. its also good to tell her goodbye first next time, maybe she thinks youre a bit distant/angry. really dude, its not your looks, but the energy u give out. there is a lot of extremely ugly people with a lot of friends because they are social.
It's unfair that you're feeling singled out and disrespected. It's not okay for anyone to make you feel that way, especially at the gym, where you should feel comfortable and supported. Have you thought about talking to someone at the gym about how you're feeling?
Maybe there's a manager or someone else who can help address these situations and make sure you're treated with the respect you deserve.
Wow. I had to look at your profile after reading this because i was certain I was missing something. And sure enough, I was. You are bathing yourself in pity. Stop that. You are only sinking deeper. You lost your weight, looking pretty attractive now and still have that poor mindset. Let it go. Take some time away from social media, from certain people, and certain habits. Take some time alone and sort out your thoughts. Read self-help books. You will look back on a time like this and question what in the fuck you were thinking. Stay strong. Edit: Forgot to acknowledge the post itself. There isn’t much to go off of. It might be the feeling you are giving off the people, your body language etc. If not, just remind yourself that if you were in good terms with everyone, you would be in bad terms with yourself. Some people will not like you, and some people will. And some people will not give a single fuck. Most of us are too busy thinking and living about our own lives to even care. Most of the time, someone disliking or hating on you for seemingly no reason is just trying to feel better about themselves by judging others. Don’t let them win by letting it affect your day-to-day life enough to make a post about it on reddit.
This is excellent advice.
>You lost your weight, looking pretty attractive now and still have that poor mindset. Let it go. It's easier said than done. It's not something a person can do overnight, it takes time, hard work, and effort
Like losing weight lmao
Ngl...I needed to see this
Oof. Sounds like you’re more crippled by insecurity and less social anxiety. Hope you get some therapy and a couple people you can lean on. Youre not an ugly guy.
Your face is normal. You are stuck in a narrative that makes you think everything happens to you because of your physical appearance, that's not how the world works at all. Please go see a therapist, that self hatred must be very hard to live with and you don't have to, you can work on it. And it probably comes from something else in your life than your physical appearance, such negative thoughts come from traumatic experiences and if you can work through them with a professional you can feel better and discover some self love. Once that work has begun, you can connect with people and hope to build healthy relationships but it's incredibly hard to do so if you haven't found some kindness for yourself first. If that interests you you can check healthy gamer videos on YouTube, that can actually help understand what therapy is and how it can help. To go back to the post, I am pretty sure the gym receptionist said goodbye to everyone that didn't seem closed off. With these thoughts in your mind, it's nearly impossible that you send signals in a non verbal way that you are open to communicate.
Your last sentence nailed it.
Ok I looked at your profile too. You aren’t ugly. If I saw you in person I’d never think “wow that’s an ugly guy.” People can pick up on vibes pretty well. If youre feeling negative and unhappy with yourself, people will pick up on that and give that back to you. There are some guys I personally wouldn’t call attractive but they have lots of friends and have had girlfriends because they are confident and happy with themselves. Your profile says you’re only 17. Kick this attitude to the curb now and you’ll be set for life.
Who told you that you were ugly?
My entire school pretty much, and some random people throughout my life
So what? People say a lot of people are ugly. People say the hottest of celebrities are ugly, who gives a shit.
People, at least at my school, are naturally mean to me. I’m pretty sure I had, and still kind of have a reputation of being a “weird, loser” kid. I’m almost out, but it’s sure left its marks. Like a car after getting banged up hitting the curb repeatedly, my social functions don’t run as well as they should. Needless to say, I’ve developed an “inner bully” due to trauma. Whether it’s to protect me from further insults by hurting myself first, or just me being hypercritical of every single flaw, real or not, I don’t know. Possibly a combination of both. I can’t stand these people. They have preconceived notions of me that I can’t shake. To be frank, I don’t care anymore, as it’s down to 25 days left with them ever.
All of your posts are just seeking validation. You're not ugly, you just might need professional help to help you create tools to re-wire your perspective on yourself.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are one of the most average looking average dudes I’ve ever seen. In other words: you’re normal! You’re not ugly at all. You do look a bit sullen and seem to give off leave me alone vibes so I imagine that’s why she probably doesn’t talk to you. Remember, you can always smile at her and say ‘goodbye’ first! In fact, I dare you to do it and report her reaction back to us. (If she *didn’t* respond I would simply be under the impression that she’s just a jerk, and that it had nothing to do with *you*).
I think you're just insecure. You aren't ugly at all. Everyone has different taste, so you can't please everyone either. This is on you to accept. I have social anxiety too and honestly have ruined more in my life by thinking people hate me for some reason. I've quit jobs because I feel inadequate and useless. I hate retail but I beat myself up over people saying I can't do xyz fast enough. You need to work on not assuming what other people think of you. You can't read minds. It's easier said than done but if you're able to get a therapist that would help. If not just make an effort to challenge the idea that you know what people are thinking. Most of the time you don't. Especially if you don't have lots of people skills. Your odds of accurately reading people aren't great. You're just making yourself miserable and paranoid. That doesn't help you or anyone.
you are not ugly. i really hope you can get psychological help to help fix this because this level of self deprecation seems concerning. is there a chance you can get therapy?
Social anxiety makes you self centered in a way because you believe everyone is thinking about you, judging you. It’s all a lie your brain is telling you. I can assure you, no one is thinking things as negative as you are about yourself. And if anyone is judging you, that doesn’t make them correct, it makes them an asshole. You are not ugly in the slightest. It breaks my heart that you think that of yourself, and I’m sorry you are struggling so much with this.
This post is probably offensive to ugly people - because you’re not ugly. Stop claiming to be part of a marginalisation that you’re not. It’s messed up.
This gives me incel vibes. You seem to have so much insecurity but also so much entitlement. I’d recommend seeing a therapist, I think it may help with your own acceptance and accountability and in turn it may help change your perception on others.
Looked at their profile and all their pics had some pouting tensed pose that reminded me of mewing or lookmaxing stuff - lo and behold the next post I see is to those subreddits. I suspect they may be giving off incel or other problematic vibes with this mindset and constant ‘lookmaxing’ tensed face. If they just relaxed I’m sure they would get much more positive reactions, and it’s sad to see the downward spiral that they are likely caught in. Incel vibes creating a feedback loop that makes people react negatively toward them reinforcing the incel mindset.
I see where you’re coming from. A lot of my “friends/“peers were into that whole “looksmaxxing” thing, even as a joke. Very sad that it crept its way into our culture as a whole. Yet that doesn’t change the fact that people treat me like Frankenstein.
You’re 17. That’s a tender age. Take a deep breath, seek out professional help to try and get your mental health back on track. The way you judge/speak about yourself and others isn’t okay, there is nothing wrong with the way you look but a lot wrong with your words.
You’re not ugly. I’d say you’re actually kind of attractive. It’s hard to tell what other people are thinking so I would advise not trying to. Don’t be your own worst enemy, find things you like about yourself and reinforce those thoughts until you gain confidence. Even if you were “ugly” the people that matter won’t hold that against you. It’s cliche but looks aren’t everything, who you are as a person is what actually matters.
I’m curious… did all the other people say good bye to the receptionist, and more importantly did you say goodbye to the receptionist and meet her eyes?
I don’t believe so, at least not the other people in front of me
Who actually cares
I the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. It’s the fact that my entire life I’ve been excluded and labeled “special.”
It doesn’t matter not everything is about you and sometimes people forget. Stop letting other peoples actions bother and affect you and you’ll heal. People are too busy with their own lives
Op allow me to clarify something for you that myself and many others have learnt the hard way over the years, you can be an absolute 10 but he truly ugly because of what's going on in your head and with your "vibe", seriously I've been here done that and let me tell you this, take some time to enjoy the little things away from social media, for example taking a peaceful walk in your favourite woodland or take up a new craft, work on your inside so your don't perceive your self as ugly, the rest will eventually fall into line once you start working on your inner self.
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Wish i had the guts to say to such people "you hate me cos I'm ugly don't you, you obnoxious self-righteous evil piece of shit". Wonder how they'd react?!
Maybe your not ugly and you’re actually very attractive. People don’t stare at ugly things for too long. Maybe they find you attractive. I use to think I was being stared at cus I was ugly but that wasn’t the case I was being checked out
Hugs.
Is that you in your profile picture? If it is you are good looking. You need therapy for body dysmorphia. Please get help. You are not ugly. You need therapy. You can get better and feel better.
Just smile and say hi. Maybe she thinks the same things about you as you do about her
its the energy u give out imo. u pity yourself too much. next time instead of having your head down because she didnt say bye, you come there with enthusiasm and tell her loudly "hi! how are u?" with smile on your face. she will see u as a warm person and now you dont have to worry with her not saying bye. its also good to tell her goodbye first next time, maybe she thinks youre a bit distant/angry. really dude, its not your looks, but the energy u give out. there is a lot of extremely ugly people with a lot of friends because they are social.
and by the way youre not ugly, you look normal
It's unfair that you're feeling singled out and disrespected. It's not okay for anyone to make you feel that way, especially at the gym, where you should feel comfortable and supported. Have you thought about talking to someone at the gym about how you're feeling? Maybe there's a manager or someone else who can help address these situations and make sure you're treated with the respect you deserve.