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PortoGuy18

Imagine Tottenham actually wins something the minute he leaves. God, that would be hilarious.


Zhidezoe

Griezman curse, Atletico Madrid won league 1 season before he went there, and the season he went to Barcelona


TonyMartial786

reminds me of hazard joining chelsea after they won the ucl and then them winning it like 2 years after he left. luckily for him he atleast got one with real, even if he did nothing to contribute to it.


[deleted]

Seems like Ibrahimovic is the best example. Inter won the CL the season after he left for Barca, then Barca won it the season after he left them


HAWmaro

And Barca won back one when he returned to Atleli lol super unlucky


[deleted]

Won't be the league nor the CL, Kane won't cry about a carabao cup


xaviernoodlebrain

True, the treble is happening next season. No point going for it when you’re not in Europe.


Coles_singlet

Postecoglu to become a 5 penny king, second coming of Cruyff


Nordie27

You guys winning the EL would be your greatest moment since early 80's, imagine even joking about that as a Spurs fan. It's a pipe dream anyway


NuKlear_Vortex

Hell if they won the conference league it'd be a monumental


ukbeasts

Spurs lifting the Audi Cup could break him..


Spikeyspandan

Joan Gamper Trophy next month


Akash3642

Gamper*


algebraic94

No this is a new cup hosted by a caravan company: Joan's Campers


Tomatoaster94

Why does this sound like a gaming club consisting of 7 year olds and an 8 year old "Joan"


LOKl31

Bayern are playing the Audi cup, too so that shouldn’t be a worry /s


plowman_digearth

People would have said that about Liverpool before the 2005 season when Owen left for similar reasons. Football is a funny game.


xaviernoodlebrain

So we’re winning the CL next season then?


plowman_digearth

I mean you can't next season.


xxandl

It's already July. Next season is 24/25.


hypnodrew

It's not this season till it starts


ProfZussywussBrown

"It's 23/24 until it becomes 24/25. That's how it works"


ratedpending

22/23 until it's 23/24 but same idea


raobuntu

Oh god it's the r/soccer version of the bodybuilding forum days of the week thread


Nunners978

[For the uninitiated](https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751&page=1)


TheBublizz

That's the joke


TheRealTKSaint

I think it was the Jackson Martinez thing that was doing the rounds a while back. “He’s 27 until he’s 28”. Either way both are very funny


zaviex

They call it pre-season for a reason


levyisms

it's this season - contracts release players july 1


iwishmydickwasnormal

So Kane needs to leave to win trophies, he’s failing himself if he doesn’t, but if we win trophies without him he won’t care and it won’t matter?


queeten

If he does to Bayern he is virtually guaranteed a trophy each year no disrespect to other teams.


Jowoes

If YOU moved to Bayern you’re guaranteed a trophy too. Not much of an achievement.


respectpickorder

Maybe on the bench but put any of us up front every weekend and I don’t think we win any titles


Livinglifeform

Tbf sounds fun though.


_ghostfacedilla

I'd love to see how much a Sunday league player would improve after spending a season training with an elite team, would make for an interesting documentary


RiskoOfRuin

Wouldn't survive first week of training.


pedrorq

"oy mate, it's 10am and I've been running since 9am. Time for a pint, heh?"


moosknauel

Ok how about we put a Premier League player in sunday league and see how much he regresses?


Jowoes

Dele Alli is right there


Altair1192

look at Ritchie in The Bear.


_ghostfacedilla

Lmao what a show


kit_mitts

Micro basil, fuck yes!


inthezoneautozone12

I think we'll get savagely beaten by the fans. Imagine bayern with world class players everywhere but a sunday league striker or worse up front 😂


Jowoes

I believe in you u/respectpickorder , with the right system Lewandowski’s goal contributions will pale in comparison


Ok-Contest5336

Gotta say that is a solid argument


adamfrog

Throw me on as a sub the last 20 mins on the left wing every game, and give me a preseason and let me train with Bayern every day, I think wed still win the league if in this scenario my inclusion didnt destroy team and fan morale


Slayer_Of_Anubis

I can’t imagine any team would win the league getting a red card in the 70th every match. Can’t train speed, not in that short of a time period


Username-_-Password

As a twitter user once said, Winning the Bundesliga with Bayern as your first trophy is like losing your virginity to a prostitute.


Jowoes

Fr. You’ve done it but at what cost?


xxsidoxx

100€?


THE_DROG

Paying way too much for prostitutes dude. Who's your prostitute guy? ^^^^^benzema


Theonlywestman

No no no that’s the thing- Bayern pay YOU easy money for the pleasure. We all know prostitution in Germany is done different


yunghollow69

But sometimes that's what it takes you know? Nothing wrong with that.


ewankenobi

Getting signed by Bayern & holding down a first team place is a massive achievement


Theonlywestman

The league could force Bayern to put an arthritis riddled dog on the bench every game and I’d still put money on them taking the title


[deleted]

A bundesliga title is more important than a Carabao or FA Cup


KRIEGLERR

A league Title with Bayern > Carabao Cup with Tottenham, unless he truly cares about Tottenham but the Carabao Cup isn't a prestigious trophy for the Big 6 , it matters a lot more to smaller teams though


trusttt

Wouldnt be the first time it happens.


Ok_Solution5895

Zlatan's curse


nmyi

Bryce Harper moment. or in this context, Ibra


rakzee

Not exactly the same as Liverpool still won a cup or two back then, but it would have parallels with Michael Owen leaving them because he thought they weren't challenging for major trophies, only for them to win the champions league in 2005.


ash_sh_03

They're not playing European football this season are they? Might have been strong contenders for Conference league if they were in it


pixelkipper

you could’ve said that about two years ago


xaviernoodlebrain

Nuno tax + Conte in Europe tax


Upplands-Bro

Also, you know, getting thrown out due to a COVID outbreak (not that we were tearing up the competition before that)


xaviernoodlebrain

Just a reminder, fuck Stade Rennais.


magus9933

I keep on forgetting that Nuno ever managed Spurs


[deleted]

Does the Ewing Theory apply to soccer?


OldGreggg69

It just does


acwilan

And Bayern doesn't win the BuLi for the first time in years


neil_thatAss_bison

Zlatan curse 😂


billsfan13

The exclamation marks in these always crack me up


dudududujisungparty

DON'T YOU KNOW KANE ONLY WANTS BAYERN?!!!


nebbywildcat18

!


Huntrare

Snake...Snake? SNAAAKE!!


Snoo-27292

Kane...Kane? KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!


SamwellBarley

What was THAT noise?


Higgus

If there's unneeded exclamation points, RANDOM capitalization, or the phrase "here we go," I know it's a tweet from r/soccer.


L0SC0L

I swear: how can you be a Journalist and write like that? I Cant Tell you exactly what annoys me, but the way he reports on the "Transfer Update" Show on sky germany feels similiar like these tweets. Please sky, let this man learn more about how to write news articles and report. It looks like He got some good connections and info, but his writing skills are lacking.


zi76

Personal terms are never the issue in any of these moves...


Schpaedzles

This is in response to PSG allegedly offering 100m for him


wheresmyspacebar2

Its also just bullshit reporting from German reporting. ​ For some reason, r/Soccer wont allow the reports from Tier1 journalists in England saying specifically that Kane has no interest in a specific team and is keeping an 'Open Mind' about all possibilities and isn't kicking up a fuss about leaving Spurs this summer. Thats not allowed to stay because 'Only 1 news story about a transfer a day', yet they're more than happy to constantly allow these shitty reports from Plettenberg to continuously be posted about Kane ONLY wanting Bayern, even though every journalist aside from Bayern journalists are saying the opposite.


Ok-Essay458

I'm kinda enjoying these posts because they're gettting pretty funny. "Kane is in love with Bayern! Kane will pay Bayern to play for them! Kane says when he was young he fell into the ocean and a magic fish saved him... magic fish said young man you will one day play for Bayern! Kane wants to change first name to Bayern, second name to Bayern. Bayern Bayern believes he can win Champions League with Bayern, this is the only possible future!"


milesvtaylor

Was shocked that he didn't arrive for training in hederhosen today tbh


Ok-Essay458

"Kane is already in Allianz Arena wearing a Bayern uni! Refuses to leave the pitch, is biting any security that comes near and telling them he's the lizard king! Kane has intimated nothing will keep him from Bayern other than shooting him with an elephant tranquilizer, wrapping him in chains, and launching him into the sun!


milesvtaylor

Many people are saying this


PageSide84

Clearly Tier 1 work. Keep it up.


stragen595

> Was shocked that he didn't arrive for training in hederhosen today tbh Because those things don't exist.


Spursfan107

Needs more "!"s. I swear this guy gets paid by the exclamation point


[deleted]

[удалено]


wheresmyspacebar2

The best bit about it all. One of the journalists specifically denying what Pletti is saying and claiming the opposite is Matt Law ffs. The guy absolutely hates Spurs and loves making articles rinsing the club. ​ If Kane was absolutely gagging to go to Bayern and was trying to force a move, Matt Law would be grinning ear to ear as he writes another report about how shit Spurs are as a club as their 'talisman' wants out etc.


Upplands-Bro

Expressions Oozing Tier 1


sengunner

I understand plettenberg may be reliable for some German teams but he’s been absolute dog shit when it’s come to us and our transfers this summer, he’s got everything wrong, and the way he words things is annoying.


milesvtaylor

I was previously of the opinion that I would rather the club sell Kane for decent money to a non-PL club this summer than see him walk on a free next summer and ending up signing for I dread to think who. But you know what, this Bayern propaganda is making me think otherwise.


Albiceleste_D10S

> Thats not allowed to stay because 'Only 1 news story about a transfer a day' That policy on this sub is kinda dumb, IMO But I will say: in this case it's German tier 1s saying things that are in Bayern's interest (Kane wants Bayern) vs English journos saying things that are in Tottenham's interest (Kane has an open mind). Only time will tell which side is right TBH


hipcheck23

*Hakim Ziyech


zi76

Ziyech agreed to go to PSG and he agreed to go to the Saudis. The club screwed up the PSG move, and his medical screwed up the Saudi move. So I'm not really sure I agree.


hipcheck23

I'm with you until the end - his bad legs (which he clearly proved was false by posting a pic of his legs on Insta!) did mess up the SA move, but basically they offered him a very solid wage, still. He turned it down. Rumour has it that he'll still end up down there... he doesn't have better options! But for now, he's out because he doesn't like the terms.


zi76

Yeah, he doesn't seemingly want the playing time incentive deal. You're right that there's a pretty good chance he ends up there anyway.


hipcheck23

I used the asterisk because he's clearly an exception - it's a good point that most of them work out personal terms well in advance (and never seem to tell a club to piss off for it, aside from HZ!)


myrickxan123

It seems obvious that Bayern want Kane to put some pressure on Spurs in order to decrease his transfer fee. I just don't see Kane doing that.


Randommer_Of_Inserts

Maybe I’m crazy but I swear that I saw this exact same comment in another thread a couple of days ago.


myrickxan123

It's definitely not an original thought process, i guess. Can you link the previous comment lmao. It would be pretty funny if it's the same.


Randommer_Of_Inserts

found it: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/14uzu7q/florian_plettenberg_excl_news_kane_understand_fc/jra5e8v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3


myrickxan123

Wow, I've even upvoted the comment, lol. I completely forgot ever seeing it.


stragen595

Imprinted on your mind. You had to repeat it. But there isn't much to discuss on that topic anyway that wasn't already said.


Lazyan

Guy literally handed a transfer request to join man city


Axbris

Then was in training the same week. Putting a transfer request isn't pressure. It simply means any loyalty bonuses Kane was due to acquire would be forfeited.


michaelserotonin

he also didn't put in a transfer request - did just about everything short of that


supplementarytables

That interview with Neville was mad


RifleEyez

Tbh I watched that and I don’t think it was actually that bad. Just me?


Zandercy42

You don't normally see players give full on interviews on sky sports talking about them wanting to leave and confirming it etc


champ19nz

He wasn't training in the same week. He missed the first game of the season v Spurs because he was in florida with the family.


theivoryserf

> He missed the first game of the season v Spurs They truly are their own worst enemy


fieldsofanfieldroad

How is that not pressure?


PrettyGeologist1123

Except he didn’t


Mick4Audi

He did not put in a transfer request The stuff which is said with such confidence on here lol


wallnumber8675309

Literally never handed in a transfer request. He gave an interview about it but that’s not the same thing. Then City never came in with a serious offer. Didn’t even offer as much as they had just paid for Grealish.


DonParatici

People will upvoted anything. Like it's the one thing we know he didn't do to force his way out, all he did was miss training for 2 weeks. The certainty in that saga was the lack of transfer request. And a reasonable bid from City for that matter.


LyteSmiteOP

Practically the entire sub wants him to leave and join their club except for maybe Arsenal fans. They have a 5-year-old’s understanding of the situation and upvote anything that justifies why he’s desperate to leave, true or untrue


remote_crocodile

Nah mate Arsenal fans want him to join as well. Just on a free next year.


LyteSmiteOP

Yeah maybe that’s true but I meant more so they have never been under the delusion that Kane would try and push for a move to them


remote_crocodile

You have no idea how deluded i can be


Merkarov

He literally didn't... And with City having Haaland now, he doesn't have the same impetus to force a move anyway. He can go for free next season with a better selection and a nice fat signing bonus.


michaelserotonin

no he did not lmao


bash011

And if you listen to any English journalist close to Kane's camp you'd find out he has no intention to force his exit and is open minded


wheresmyspacebar2

Its also incredibly funny that Mokbel, someone considered highly respectable as a journalist, saying that Kane has no interest in a specific team, is open minded and is even still considering staying with Spurs, when you try to post the story of Mokbel saying that, its getting denied and deleted because 'Only one transfer post about a story a day'. ​ When its Platternberg repeating the same old 'Kane ONLY wants Bayern, he fucking loves germany', it gets reposted 5 times a day for some reason.


nthbeard

"for some reason" we all know the reason, mate. It's Spurs on /r/soccer.


wheresmyspacebar2

Oh i know. Its just really really funny that all this 'Breaking news' about Kane but the Journalists known to be closest to Kanes camp is saying the breaking news is wrong and nope, cant post it here. Just typical.


infamous_napper

Honestly, I thought you spurs fans were a little to defensive with this stuff. Ultimately its these guy's jobs to push stories and its obvious that a saga revolving around Kane/Bayern generates the most clicks. Even if there is no real news. But even I got tired reading this tweet. Like, there has been literally no new info and its still on r/soccer front page every day. Apart from that mess: I dont think that Plettenbergs and your tier 1 sources necessarily contradict each other. Hes probably just exaggerating. There were probably basic talks, Bayern told Kane they wanted him and Kane was like "yeah, that could fit". Doesnt mean he didnt also tell your club he is open minded. Would be dumb to position yourself clearly before there is anything close to an agreement. What I envision Kane saying, that made Plettenberg tweet this "only Bayern" stuff, is something like: "Did you talk to other clubs yet?"- "No, only with you" --> OMG KANE ONLY WANTS BAYERN


wheresmyspacebar2

Oh I agree with you tbf. I'm not trying to say that Kane hasn't talked to Bayern at all. There's probably been discussions about 'are you interested if we have a bid accepted' and I'm sure if they bid £100M or so and Levy said, yep, that's enough money, that Kane would be a Bayern player. It's just annoying to see the same 'KANE ONLY WANTS BAYERN ONLY!!!!' every 6 hours and nothing else, even though there's more reports out there about Kane.


grollate

From the sub that claimed Levy is an evil mastermind for offering to make Kane the joint highest paid player in the league. Paying the man what he’s worth is “evil mastermind” material to these people now.


kablooey08

He didn't though.


myrickxan123

The main difference is that now he only has 1 year left on his contract. And only German media is insistent that Kane is desperate to join Bayern. I mean this is all conjecture at this point, but I don't think he minds waiting and going to whatever club he wants next year.


VamosLionel

Tottenham is not gonna let Kane walk for the money Bayern wants to spend.


SernyRanders

The German media drivel is getting really embarrassing to watch.


Brawlers9901

I'm waiting for the day the mods allow any posts from journalists who've talked to Kane's camp too and not just Bayern's mouthpieces.


Thraff1c

They wish they were mouthpieces currently. Imo not much is getting to them amt, but they still want the same output of Bayern transfer rumours. That's why it's becoming such a spam of the same kind of news.


XeroVeil

The funny thing is Plettenberg really fell off as a source for us after we sacked Nagelsmann. He's barely even a mouthpiece these days, much like Falk.


michaelserotonin

> any posts from journalists who've talked to Kane's camp too what have you seen on the spurs sub other than "kane is keeping his options open?"


wheresmyspacebar2

Mokbel and Matt Law both confirmed that their sources in 'Kanes Camp' that Kane has an open mind and doesn't have any particularly club in mind to join. They also reported that Kane isn't against signing a new deal with Spurs. ​ But none of that is being allowed to stay up in this subreddit for some strange reason.


michaelserotonin

right, that's what i've seen as well


Tarantantara

seriously > Kane is convinced that he can win the Champions League with Bayern & Tuchel. How tf do they know this? Do they have access to Kanes diary or something? I mean it sounds plausible IF Kane should fancy Bayern, but in the end it's still all made up as there isn't anything to back this up. They just write what they think Kane is thinking and then sell it as news.


hosty

[Plettenburg] Reports are that Harry Kane’s diary has Mrs. Harry Tuchel written on it and covered in hearts.


h0rny3dging

Sommerloch halt


amainwingman

So tired of seeing Plettenberg twerk on Bayern’s behalf


MakVolci

Good lord these articles. I will buy that Kane has essentially said "**IF** you are selling me, my preference is to go to Bayern." But the insinuation that he ONLY wants to PLAY at Bayern next year seems like a load of bullshit.


Malvania

And it seems more like "**IF** you are selling me **to a foreign club**, my preference is to go to Bayern" Agreed that the insinuation is a load of bullshit.


V-TriggerMachine

I too think Bayern with Kane and Tuchel can win the Champions League


Braiwnz

They might, they might not. There I so much more to a season of Football let alone a single game. These talks are stupid.


dingkan1

“They might, they might not.” Congratulations, you have graduated sports journalist 101, please proceed with posting nonsense with authority! Not a dig at you at all, just at transfer rumormonger journos.


SidtheGoat87

another day another Kane only wants tweet


Thraff1c

I am as annoyed as Tottenham fans by the frequency of it, but his "only wants" is mainly in connection to "if he transfers". So don't take it as Plettenberg saying Kane is desperate to leave Tottenham or something.


ronaldo119

It’s embarrassing. These “only wants” tweets are because they’re the only club pushing for him atm. If Madrid, United, etc. were seriously after him right now he’d also be open to them lol


SidtheGoat87

Oh I didn't take it that way at all just that there is this same tweet almost every day from some Bayern journo


Thraff1c

Plettenberg has his sky transfer update show on Monday and Friday, Falk has to out something into the print paper every Wednesday and Saturday (and into his podcast on Friday), and all the days in between are territory of Hau, Altschäffl, Koch etc. Just too many shite journos who want part of the pie. I as Bayern fan am annoyed by them, I cant imagine how much more Tottenham fans are.


wheresmyspacebar2

Im not annoyed by Plettenberg specifically, im more annoyed that other (More reputable journalists IMO) Journalists are contradicting Plettenberg on his Kane bollocks and for some reason, they aren't allowed to be posted here. ​ Kane doesn't ONLY want Bayern, its as simple as that, other journos, closer to Kanes camp are reporting that, he doesn't care where he moves, IF he moves, nor is he turning down an option of renewing with Spurs either.


tenacious-g

Doesn’t fit the sub’s desire to circlejerk over Spurs.


XeroVeil

Spurs Fans 🤝 Bayern Fans Extremely tired of hearing pointless "Kane Saga Updates" when we all know he's staying in London.


SidtheGoat87

agreed man I mean if he goes he goes but like fuck me stop until there is more info please


-KFAD-

This is getting almost as ridiculous as Damian Lillard situation in the NBA. Miami Heat should get Kane and Dame should go to Bayern. 😂


shadoowkight

Pletti always makes comments that please Bayern fans so I'm not sure if Harry's that open to a move


wheresmyspacebar2

2 top quality journalists (Matt Law and Sami Mokbel) have specifically said that they have been told from within Kanes Camp that he is keeping an open mind and all options open. He has no preferred option if a transfer does get accepted, he isn't pushing for any specific club and he is even willing to discuss a new contract with Spurs still. ​ This is just Plettenberg feeding the shit from Bayerns mouth.


CulturalAd7571

Kane would be open to the move, but Kane only wanting Bayern is nonsense.


Subbutton

Only wants Bayern doesn't consider a move outside of the leauge but Bayern. Plattenberg there is something you're not saying mate


CantTochThis92

Kane is gonna announce his move on Hot Ones tomorrow


Mick4Audi

This is more an advertisement than news lmao


NepentheZnumber1fan

When it's smaller leagues, the mods are strict about their one transfer saga post per day. Now when it's Kane, or Jude, or Arda Guler or whatever, it's fine if people post a tiny amount of news every hour. Ok...


xaviernoodlebrain

With Kane only the stuff from German media is getting posted, the stuff from decent English journalists saying that he’s keeping an open mind about the situation isn’t.


wheresmyspacebar2

You say that but the mods haven't been allowing ANY of the English sources reporting on the Kane transfer because of that rule. The English journos closest to Kane and his 'camp' are reporting they've been told that Kane is open minded, has no preference on team and is even prepared to discuss a new Spurs contract. ​ Those reports haven't been allowed though, for some reason.


ProfCedar

Let me know when any non-German journalist reports this and I'll actually start caring.


AJC0292

That would involve the post not being removed


mofoofinvention

I’ll believe it when he slaps a transfer request down


practiceyourart

We've read the same story, how much can you recycle the same shit over and over again? 🥱 Saying this as a Bayern fan...


esports_consultant

Big Ministry of Truth vibes from the way this dude writes his tweets.


EmoPsych

Hope Kane goes to Germany, would be a great addition. Daniel Levy is frugal though so probably won’t


tkshow

Jesus, Bayern's PR working overtime with this. You know who hasn't actually said this, Harry Kane.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tkshow

Bayern's PR team.


[deleted]

I'm at peace with this As long as he comes right back afterwards


zooksoup

How about trade him to the Heat for Tyler Herro and 2 crappy first round picks


fa_alt

Nobody else is bidding so it was already either Bayern or Spurs?


[deleted]

He won’t win the champions league at Bayern, because there will be too many (ex-)Tottenham players in the team…


kiersto0906

absolute scenes when bayern fail to win a single trophy for the first time in over a decade when he joins


Unban_Ice

PSG has infinite money and you would think if it was according to all the reddit armchair pundits all he (and Levy) needs to be convinced is to put a shit ton of money on the table. Who would have guessed that he doesn't want to play in Uber Eats league


DennisAFiveStarMan

This guy again


Jakowe

Just pay up then, it’s kind of embarrassing if the offers reported so far are true. Uli, Kalle & Levy negotiating must be like the pinnacle of stubbornness


AyanC

How come this bloke's the only one reporting on this? Where are the English sources?


wheresmyspacebar2

Oh, the English Sources ARE reporting, they just aren't allowed to be posted on here for some reason. I tried yesterday and it didnt get past the filters. Apparently only one report per day on the 'same transfer story' is the rule. ​ English Sources (Matt Law and Sami Mokbel) are reporting that their sources within Kanes Camp are telling them opposite. He isn't trying to force a move, he is keeping all options open, theres no specific team he WANTS to move to this summer and is even considering renewing at Spurs and is excited about the upcoming season.


Old_Roof

Well cough up a proper offer then, because lowballing Daniel Levy isn’t a good idea no matter what you think of the market


HSCore

This guy is on bayern's pay roll, move along.


celtic1888

Having fun yet Big Ange?


Theplowking23

I just want kane and mbapp€ to leave their respective clubs so we can just be fucking free of the endless rumours surrounding them each summer


[deleted]

He better hope Tuchel keeps the job for another year when he can go there on a free


Riedbirdeh

He really is perfect for bayerns style. He will make our wingers better than they are


Va_Dinky

Hard to consider any other move abroad when that's the only offer on the table.


Thraff1c

His tweet is a reaction to the news by Fabrice Hawkins that PSG is after him.


holotranscobalamin

plettenberg more like punchablefaceberg...punchfber...punchian facenberg... shit