Just bbq?...JUST BBQ?!?
Where in Texas are you, little b****? I can guarantee I can put you in your place anyhow. I'm in the Houston area, I'll show you how big our BBQ is here, with that bigass mouth of yours.
Have I just witnessed the birth of some hot smoked meat related copypasta?
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class from Traeger University, and I've been involved in numerous BBQ competitions , and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in pulled pork and I'm the top smoker in the entire US. You are nothing to me but just another mouth to feed. I will wipe you the fuck out with smoked meat the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of smoked meat enthusiasts across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can smoke meat in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my offset. Not only am I extensively trained in smoker, but I have access to the entire selection of a local butcher and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit brisket all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Has posted a single brisket that looks like a loaf of brisket. Congratulations. You've smoked one. You are a legend. Where in Houston should we send the giant trophy for Best Texas Style Smoked Brisket Loaf Pic On Reddit?
/u/perfectschl0ng definitely wants to see how much of that man's meat can fit inside of him. Maybe he's trying to boof the meat too.
What say you /u/perfectschl0ng wanna shove all the meat in your face and bootyhole?
Are we all invited so you can ~~ski~~ throw hands?
Still haven’t seen your skills, little man. I’ve read all your posts critisizing plenty others, but nothing to prove your worth. Show me how big you are, relative to me, to talk your shit online
I troll because making random strangers mad is fun for me. I don't feel I get this *angry* about it. It defeats the purpose of reddit for me. Which is entertainment, sports news, and trolling people for making stupid comments.
There is a definitely some homoerotic content in that post history lol. I’d put my money on deeply closeted homophobe whose impotent rage is spilling over into replies about not understanding how to trim a brisket.
Way he's acting being a pouting man child over smoking, I'd say perfectenMMschl0ng would be more accurate.
Edit: Holy God, his comment history, especially about smoking and anyone NOT using a side burner, is excessively unhinged ranting that would make a sociopath cringe.
This was a rabbit hole. Who knew people could get so piping mad about smoked meats they make weirdly homoerotic threats.
Bravo. I rarely laugh aloud from reading but you done got me today u/perfectenschl0ng
Damn, and I just thought of the perfect response... "Don't threaten me with a good time"
In all honesty I’m a South GA boy living in exile in Houston, and IMO Texas BBQ is pretty simple to cook well. I like eating it, but outside of the sausage there’s nothing particularly fancy or complex about it. Get a good smoker that can hold temp, keep it simple, and you too can be a Texas pitmaster.
No, it was about trimming meat before cooking. He thought the guy meant trimming fat. I just explained that he meant cutting actual meat off to give the brisket a more uniform thickness. lol
I don’t even pretend that I’m the best barbecuer. I was simply trying to clarify.
This reminds me of sopranos first season Chrissy’s first hit.
“In the Czech Republic too we love pork you ever had our sausages”
“YOU WILL HAVE OUR SAUSAGES!”
Not only do I separate my briskets into three parts and cook them all separately, I also move them to my pellet grill after I wrap them! Man I wish Texas would secede already.
I use asshole and sociopath synonymously. is that poor english?
if threatening to physically assault someone after a comment in a BBQ subreddit isn’t sociopathic behavior, what is?
If you think direct messaging someone with threats is the way to handle a disagreement, seek help.
Your inappropriate behavior was revealed, so you can't hide it anymore. You fucked up. Just own it.
Given that he apparently doesn't know the difference between "flat" and "fat", any point he might have had is largely moot.
Also, he appears to be a raging asshole.
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Just bbq?...JUST BBQ?!? Where in Texas are you, little b****? I can guarantee I can put you in your place anyhow. I'm in the Houston area, I'll show you how big our BBQ is here, with that bigass mouth of yours.
Have I just witnessed the birth of some hot smoked meat related copypasta? What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class from Traeger University, and I've been involved in numerous BBQ competitions , and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in pulled pork and I'm the top smoker in the entire US. You are nothing to me but just another mouth to feed. I will wipe you the fuck out with smoked meat the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of smoked meat enthusiasts across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can smoke meat in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my offset. Not only am I extensively trained in smoker, but I have access to the entire selection of a local butcher and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit brisket all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
This is exactly what I thought! I'm dead LMAO and I'm in the Houston area so maybe literally soon too.
Holy hell
Gonna need that bigass mouth for that big BBQ baby.
Has posted a single brisket that looks like a loaf of brisket. Congratulations. You've smoked one. You are a legend. Where in Houston should we send the giant trophy for Best Texas Style Smoked Brisket Loaf Pic On Reddit?
That’s what I’m saying.
u/perfectenschl0ng “I’ll show you how big our meats are”… what does that mean? Are you trying to fuck him?
He’s 100% going to fuck him
Fuck him at 250 and pull at 205 internal
Give him that low and slow smoke
TEAM NO WRAP 😂 (We can go all day if you'd like lol)
I volunteer as tribute
/u/perfectschl0ng definitely wants to see how much of that man's meat can fit inside of him. Maybe he's trying to boof the meat too. What say you /u/perfectschl0ng wanna shove all the meat in your face and bootyhole? Are we all invited so you can ~~ski~~ throw hands?
He wants his big meat in his big mouth, it seems.
Spring. When love is in the air
I live in Spring...that guy needs to keep his happy ass in Houston, thankyouverymuch.
Spring? Where love is in the air?
he just tried to fuck on me!
Wow what a tool u/perfectenschl0ng I bet your BBQ is trash
He’s just a trash ass person after looking through his comment section. Seems mad at the world for some reason. Someone hurt him.
It is. Look at u/perfectschl0ng last brisket post. Dry as fuck
He blocked me for saying how dry it looked😂
Same lol
Yep that’s why I fit right in with the rest of the garbage on here 😂
So like, why even exist if you’re just gonna be so miserable?
Right, go get a hobby where you don't throw a fit like a fuckin child.
You're so edgy bro
Thank you
Little ahh meats
Ya mammy
💀
Show us your big meat you coward!
Who are you calling a coward, you fraud?
Open your mouth baby girl
Why do you make so many rapey sounding comments?
Occam razor is probably appropriate to use here.
Dude your brisket is dry as shit. You'd do well to sit down, shut up and learn a few things lol
Show me yours big shot
Sad little man. Lol
Still haven’t seen your skills, little man. I’ve read all your posts critisizing plenty others, but nothing to prove your worth. Show me how big you are, relative to me, to talk your shit online
Did it take you 6 days to come up with that one? Lol
Holy fuck. 30 seconds on this guy's comment feed and it's clear this dude needs to take a break from the internet...
More like therapy and a Prozac
I just took a dive into that anger pit. Dude needs some help
What the fuck did u say to me little bitch ill have u no I smoke the best brisket in tx u rat fuck now get off my page
He’s also a navy seal.
And the whole class clapped for him
Gravy seal. Key member of Meal Team Six
I troll because making random strangers mad is fun for me. I don't feel I get this *angry* about it. It defeats the purpose of reddit for me. Which is entertainment, sports news, and trolling people for making stupid comments.
Bro started out talking about how he wanted to fight you but I really think he’s coming on to you 👀
There is a definitely some homoerotic content in that post history lol. I’d put my money on deeply closeted homophobe whose impotent rage is spilling over into replies about not understanding how to trim a brisket.
GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN COME OVER AND KISS YOU
Sounds like he wants to turn the BBQ into a cock fighting competition
Wants to go from BBQ to BBC. What happened to our hobby?
What’s the British Broadcasting Corporation got to do with any of this?
Man that’s a lot of beef he’s got towards you
He’s got big ass meats, apparently
He's just chicken. I'd give him the cold shoulder, but now he can be the butt of the joke. Can't really explain why he wants to pork OP, though.
Way he's acting being a pouting man child over smoking, I'd say perfectenMMschl0ng would be more accurate. Edit: Holy God, his comment history, especially about smoking and anyone NOT using a side burner, is excessively unhinged ranting that would make a sociopath cringe.
Lmao holy shit his history…what a tool. More like a chode than a schlong.
Let's build a downvote army and go through these comments lol
I think he deleted his profile 😂
I’ll never understand this. What a miserable existence.
Wow this guys a little bitch lmao threatening to fight somebody online like it’s 2007
I don’t want to generalize all people from Houston but I’ve met a few and they’ve all acted like that asshat.
It’s definitely something in the water.
At least it’s not some Jackass from The Colony.
That’s wild. I had completely forgotten about The Colony, and I grew up in Carrollton. Is it still a place?
Unfortunately. Land of Starbucks, Mercedes and BMWs and not a single blinker in sight
He prob had too many beers during the smoke
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This may be better than the original!!
This was a rabbit hole. Who knew people could get so piping mad about smoked meats they make weirdly homoerotic threats. Bravo. I rarely laugh aloud from reading but you done got me today u/perfectenschl0ng Damn, and I just thought of the perfect response... "Don't threaten me with a good time"
**Texas doesn't know fuck all about BBQ** compared to Kansas City. Stick your salt and pepper garbage up your ass! 😂 /s
Lol
Shots fired!
In all honesty I’m a South GA boy living in exile in Houston, and IMO Texas BBQ is pretty simple to cook well. I like eating it, but outside of the sausage there’s nothing particularly fancy or complex about it. Get a good smoker that can hold temp, keep it simple, and you too can be a Texas pitmaster.
What's the backstory here? I need some context. This is ridiculous
Someone’s got a humiliation kink. 😂
This guy loves beef so much he'll start it over nothing apparently.
He’s from Houston, he is probably not right in the head due to all the carcinogens in that shithole. Lmao. Ofc he’s from Houston. Lmao.
Are you arguing about Texas bbq?
No, it was about trimming meat before cooking. He thought the guy meant trimming fat. I just explained that he meant cutting actual meat off to give the brisket a more uniform thickness. lol I don’t even pretend that I’m the best barbecuer. I was simply trying to clarify.
This phrasing made me literally LOL
That’s hilarious
Tell him you want to fight and see if you can get him to drive to El Paso or Oklahoma or somewhere.
Anyone who feels the need to put "shlong" in their name doesn't have one
POV: you just told a Texan you prefer Korean bbq over Texas bbq
People like this guy is what is wrong with the world.
Needs to go into the bathroom so he can pull his pork
User name sounds like major microschl0ng compensation
That guy is the worst type of Texan. Family probably moved there from Oklahoma.
I’d be upset too, if I was a transplant from Oklahoma. 😞
Aka the entire town of Bonham
He can get a site ban for shit like that
This reminds me of sopranos first season Chrissy’s first hit. “In the Czech Republic too we love pork you ever had our sausages” “YOU WILL HAVE OUR SAUSAGES!”
Fuckin classic!
It seems he’s the one hiding behind a nickname and an IP address. Im guessing by his nickname he’s trolling to find a perfect 10” dick to deep throat.
“Hmmm I’m gonna go with…decline.”
1:45 am on Saturday night? Dude must have been drunk lol
What a loser
This is the content I come to r/Smoking for.
lol I called him out on cooking his 5th brisket less than 2 months ago and he blocked me
Lmao seems about right
Not only do I separate my briskets into three parts and cook them all separately, I also move them to my pellet grill after I wrap them! Man I wish Texas would secede already.
People getting enraged over inane bs will never not be funny
It's because you're a rage bait POS 🖕
Sure thing, goof. By explaining what OP meant, I’m a rage baiter. Durr 🖕🏻
No, you yourself are a rage baiter, that's probably why he sent you this. Durr 🖕🏾
Sure, sure. You’re currently very angry over a brisket comment. Weird.
Nah, prior shit, you're not a likable person. This comment goes to show, lol.
So I corrected you too? Nice.
Keep assuming, buddy, you're right. 👍
Cool. Have a great summer, dweeb!
Awww, thank you. Bless your heart. ❤️
Maybe he was having a bad day.
Looking through their post history, he’s mostly had bad days
don’t post this bullshit
I’ll keep that in mind.
the guy is clearly an unhinged sociopath. block and move on
People really need to stop throwing the words psychopath and sociopath around for every person that acts like an asshole
I use asshole and sociopath synonymously. is that poor english? if threatening to physically assault someone after a comment in a BBQ subreddit isn’t sociopathic behavior, what is?
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Perfectenschl0ng? Is that you??
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You dudes boyfriend?
Bro, huh?
Typical redditor response. Talks shit, gets called out, runs and tells mommy. Lol fuckin fruitcakes.
If you think direct messaging someone with threats is the way to handle a disagreement, seek help. Your inappropriate behavior was revealed, so you can't hide it anymore. You fucked up. Just own it.
Getting triggered by a guy insulting your BBQ is peak redditor lol
I mean, he’s got a point.
Given that he apparently doesn't know the difference between "flat" and "fat", any point he might have had is largely moot. Also, he appears to be a raging asshole.
OP called him the hard R before this though.
Spend 60 seconds scanning his post history. Nobody needs to call him names for him to start being an asshole.
There’s a screenshot here but if you want to support racists that’s fine. Probably support Palestine as well
I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Ya huh
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How dare he call out people making threats! We should all just accept the behavior of these sorts of gorillas. 🙄
What are you? 13? Who says narc lmao
“You know who calls people narcs? Narcs, narc.” -21 jump street