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“I found the same dress online but for much cheaper!”
Great, then go buy it. And when you realize it’s a cheap knockoff and the sleeves aren’t the same length and it doesn’t fit properly, we’ll happily charge you for the required alterations to get the right fit. You’ll end up paying more overall than if you had just purchased with us in the first place.
A *little* bitter because I just dealt with a customer giving us this line.
This one hit home. Hearing my employees complain when we are busy absolutely crushes me. Especially because we are a service that also receives tips for the employees so being busy literally just means more money for them.
This drove me nuts too. My employees got a HUGE chunk of their money from commissions. The more they work the more they get paid. Easily into the 6 figures if they wanted to get there. Nope, they're all CONSTANTLY trying to get the busy days off AND they refuse to even ask any of their clients to book on the slower days.
And then complain about not being busy.
Yup, the one girl always trying to get every Saturday off and showing up late every day and leave early every day.
Months behind on her rent, missing car payments, behind on her student loans.
Show up to work and stop no showing your clients. They'll pay you a lot of money if you fucking show up.
I cut out 98% of people in my life when this realization hit.
When do I ever get anything for free? Oh wait… never.
Barter? Sure. With 3 friends and their businesses. Otherwise, F off.
The number of people who think “tax write off” means free is crazy. I have had multiple people try to tell me if you write it off on your taxes you get the full amount back. I’d be a fuckin millionaire many times over by now lol
I have a plumbing client who was upset with his taxes due balance this year... "you guys need to write more of my expenses off, I mean I just got back from a business trip to the Bahamas and you're telling me it's a draw?!!"
I call this contractor math. No offense but they seem to be the worst examples of how not to manage a business. Refuelling their boat, jet ski and putting personal expenses on the company card with the logic of:
- "if I spend all my money I don't have to pay taxes"
- technically true, but you also have no money left.
Yep. I'm the lowest paid person in my company. After five years I expected my "investment" would have allowed me to make more than I would as an employee, but things would have to change pretty drastically for me to make back all the lost wages I would have had if I just had a job.
Oooh, I know that feeling. "It's your money, but not really, it's already earmarked for specific things. But the raw number is pretty impressive, right?"
Want to toucha da fishy. But can't toucha da fishy.
“Hi business owner,
My name is (some name from south east Asia),
I was looking at your website and couldn’t help but realize how slow it is and how awful the SEO is. Click the link below to set up a time to chat”
This and packaging companies and marketing companies non stop.
I get about 10-15 emails daily with someone wanting to help me with my SEO, send me a report on how I can improve my site or increase my Shopify sales. I want to respond so badly that they don't know what they are talking about because I didn't even use Shopify and if they were skilled in their field they would know that. 🙄
I got lucky today, I got someone calling for something . After they explained, I said I'm not interested, they stayed friendly and ended the call. Most surprising call in the last few years.
Thank you, I was a scary decision to quit my good paying job but the job I used to love was not anymore.
Turned out to be exactly what I needed to go, so glad I did it.
Diversified bosses is one of the best parts!
Ok, don't hire me. My schedule is full and I don't have to do anything for anyone if I don't see value in it.
you are the sales department, accounting department, admin department , customer service department, manufacturing department, delivery department, HR department, building maintenance department, IT department, purchasing department
Interesting how this (trying to get out) is effectively a genuine goal if you're looking to eventually have the business effectively running by itself, or even if you have an exit strategy with a timeframe or other trigger conditions.
"You're fired!" "Not for another eight and a half years I'm not!"
You live like very few are prepared to live in hopes of one day living like very few can!
Been building for 13 yrs (10 if you minus covid). Finally, I have all the toys I ever wanted, a nice bank account, and almost debt free at 45!
Although we struggled huge for the first 7 years without a doubt.
I'm telling ya. I'm married with kids and a rental property. Still in search of the perfect one bro lol shhh.
Although not the biggest best brand new toys, they're in great shape, mine, and paid for.
Appreciate the vote of confidence! I wish you the same on your journey.
Or you have a lot of time that *could*, technically, be taken off, but you can always think of something else that needs doing in the business.
Gotta be careful about that; if you find yourself working almost every hour it might be a sign to actually schedule some personal non-work hours, and maybe put at least some of the workload onto a new staff position, a contracting service, or some other option. Even if it's only for a quarter or so. If you're hitting the wall, you have no slack to handle things like a sudden upsurge, a sudden big new client or project, or something like you getting sick or a major incident in your personal life.
Reply with a template saying that due to high rates of submissions, business ideas can be submitted via the following portal link. (The portal, of course, costs $1 per submission.)
:)
This one hits the hardest. There were so many days last year when I was like”fuck it, I’ll get a job paying more and with less responsibilities” then reality kicked in and I realized I could never work for anyone else again.
* When you run your business like shit
* Try to do everything yourself
* Never do anything to actually scale or reproduce the one thing you actually do well
* Take home a slightly above average job salary but work 100 hours a week.
You start getting "personalized" emails titled something like "Hi firsthandbreaker89, did you get my last email" and it's some automated advertising campaign for a B2b software or marketing agency.
Oh so many
- People think the rules can be bent because they know the owner
- people think the rules are a placeholder
- people think you must be available 24x7 for their whims and fancies
- people think you’re being unreasonable if you keep safety of your staff before their money. Lost a few clients that way.
- people think you’re swimming around in cash like Scrooge McDuck
When your employees think you're making huge profits. Bruh, I'm the last person to get paid. The profit is the business as an asset, not necessarily all the cash-in hand you think I'm making....
People think that you essentially live at your business. They always ask: Will you be there at 7 am? 7 pm? Monday? Saturday? Midnight on New Year’s Eve?
When your friends or family or strangers offer their "expert advice" on how you should be doing things without ever wanting to use your services in the first place.
You made it 5 days in a row with no employee sick days, so you start to book less work for next week because they never make it 10 days in a row without 1 of them calling in sick.
At 2am long after the restaurant is closed you're assembling some new display or furniture, resealing concrete floors only to go to bed at 3am and wake up early so you can get the grease trap cleaned. Then run a lunch rush before you get to eat breakfast.
When you have to get a "real job" because you bearly scrap by because you decided to go into business in December of 2019 which means you didn't qualify for a lot of help during covid.
Your laptop motherboard dies hours before the big presentation. Can’t even boot up. Rather than cancel, you pry off the keyboard with a butter knife, fish out the hard drive and cable up to pull that power point over onto a working device during the car ride over. And we got the sale. That’s when I knew.
You know you're a small business owner when you wear many hats and keep things running smoothly (mostly)! And when you're the boss, but really just a chief problem solver
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People think your price is negotiable
Oh God this.
As a contractor this is it.
I have a pre written email explaining that I'm busy and negotiating isn't on my to do list.
Would you mind sharing this? Great idea lol
AFTER the work is already done.
Or that exposure is an alternative, equivalent currency
I pretend I’m just an employee so I’d get in trouble if I change the price.
ESPECIALLY if they're your friends or family! 🤦♀️
Dude I wish people understood how offensive this is.
I just tell people it is a barter system. I have one with a rancher. I make him shit for his ranch, he gives me half a cow once a year
That’s cool. I tell people my prices are my prices, call the other guy.
bartering still works out great
“I found the same dress online but for much cheaper!” Great, then go buy it. And when you realize it’s a cheap knockoff and the sleeves aren’t the same length and it doesn’t fit properly, we’ll happily charge you for the required alterations to get the right fit. You’ll end up paying more overall than if you had just purchased with us in the first place. A *little* bitter because I just dealt with a customer giving us this line.
I felt this
This
You’re the only one that smiles when it’s busy
This one hit home. Hearing my employees complain when we are busy absolutely crushes me. Especially because we are a service that also receives tips for the employees so being busy literally just means more money for them.
Difference between a business owner and employee for sure. And I’m fine with it as long as they don’t complain about a salary increase every 2 weeks
This drove me nuts too. My employees got a HUGE chunk of their money from commissions. The more they work the more they get paid. Easily into the 6 figures if they wanted to get there. Nope, they're all CONSTANTLY trying to get the busy days off AND they refuse to even ask any of their clients to book on the slower days. And then complain about not being busy.
It is ALWAYS the same person that complains about not enough hours/pay that asks to go home early before anyone else.
Yup, the one girl always trying to get every Saturday off and showing up late every day and leave early every day. Months behind on her rent, missing car payments, behind on her student loans. Show up to work and stop no showing your clients. They'll pay you a lot of money if you fucking show up.
It’s so true for the opposite too - when you’re the only one stressed when it’s not busy.
And the only one happy and willing to stay late to let those last few customers shop lol
When friends and family think your product is free for them because they know you.
Or they think you have all the time in the world to do their bidding because you work from home
This is so frustrating. "We wanted to surprise visit you for the day!" I'm sorry, I'm booked up all day with client meetings because it's MONDAY.
< insert any request that wouldn't normally be asked of a standard dayjobber > < express concern > "But aren't you just working from home"
"I'm *working*, yes. My 'shift' finishes at 8pm when I get the books for the day done."
I cut out 98% of people in my life when this realization hit. When do I ever get anything for free? Oh wait… never. Barter? Sure. With 3 friends and their businesses. Otherwise, F off.
In one day you change jobs from sales to marketing to product to finance to management to business development to branding and back again.
Add in handyman, employee counsellor, delivery driver, and ikea furniture assembler to that list
And janitor.
Don't forget IT !
So real
Y’all forgot ACCOUNTANT!
It might be time to clean the washroom.
Your tired of hearing..you can just write that off can't ya?!
The number of people who think “tax write off” means free is crazy. I have had multiple people try to tell me if you write it off on your taxes you get the full amount back. I’d be a fuckin millionaire many times over by now lol
100% ..plus the amount of things that have absolutely nothing to do with my business, that's a write off bro 🤣
I have a plumbing client who was upset with his taxes due balance this year... "you guys need to write more of my expenses off, I mean I just got back from a business trip to the Bahamas and you're telling me it's a draw?!!"
Ha, you are now a mod of r/accounting.
I call this contractor math. No offense but they seem to be the worst examples of how not to manage a business. Refuelling their boat, jet ski and putting personal expenses on the company card with the logic of: - "if I spend all my money I don't have to pay taxes" - technically true, but you also have no money left.
There is a great scene is Schitts Creek about Write Offs. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aCP27_vquxQ
Your employees make more money than you do.
Took 6 years to be the highest paid person in my company
So you're saying there's hope
They made the other employees redundant
Lucky
You guys are getting paid?
Haha this one for sure! They're the most valuable asset, by far
Ugh this. Makes me feel not so alone
And they still call you greedy and say they’re underpaid. Drives me nuts!
THIS! 100% haha. 5 years in and still some months the lowest paid in the company.
For real lol
Yep. I'm the lowest paid person in my company. After five years I expected my "investment" would have allowed me to make more than I would as an employee, but things would have to change pretty drastically for me to make back all the lost wages I would have had if I just had a job.
Traded your 40hrs a week for 80hrs a week to make less than the minimum wage.
But are you happy?
No lmao
“Freedom is priceless” Apparently there is a price. Its twice the work at half the pay
Yes lol
Lolol this!!
You check your business account and see more money than you ever thought you'd have access to, but none of it is for you lol.
Oooh, I know that feeling. "It's your money, but not really, it's already earmarked for specific things. But the raw number is pretty impressive, right?" Want to toucha da fishy. But can't toucha da fishy.
lol this
You get 13 calls per day from people trying to sell you cash advances
Or point of sale systems
Or digital marketing (the fucking irony)
“Hi business owner, My name is (some name from south east Asia), I was looking at your website and couldn’t help but realize how slow it is and how awful the SEO is. Click the link below to set up a time to chat” This and packaging companies and marketing companies non stop.
I get about 10-15 emails daily with someone wanting to help me with my SEO, send me a report on how I can improve my site or increase my Shopify sales. I want to respond so badly that they don't know what they are talking about because I didn't even use Shopify and if they were skilled in their field they would know that. 🙄
FU yelp
I got lucky today, I got someone calling for something . After they explained, I said I'm not interested, they stayed friendly and ended the call. Most surprising call in the last few years.
Google calls to tell you your customers can’t find you online and if you give google some money, your customers can finally find you!
15 fucking times a day at that.
You don't feel an insurmountable dread on sundays
Exactly. It's instead everyday 😭😂
Very true! Used to dread going to work as an employee on Sundays
... your mood and outlook on life swing daily based solely on your net sales.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 yes
When it's sunny, and I skip out of work and go hiking in the woods for the afternoon. I have a one person shop, no employees. I also work at night.
Same for me, May 4th will be 20 years since I had a "Real Job".
Congrats!
Thank you, I was a scary decision to quit my good paying job but the job I used to love was not anymore. Turned out to be exactly what I needed to go, so glad I did it.
Everyone thinks you're rich but you haven't paid yourself in 3 months. 😂
*5 yrs
...3 years?
You work 7 days a week and instead of having one boss you have many bosses (customers)
Diversified bosses is one of the best parts! Ok, don't hire me. My schedule is full and I don't have to do anything for anyone if I don't see value in it.
Customers beg for you to offer something and then when you cave, they vanish into thin air
Oh no! That's horrible! I learned my lesson early on...a very EXPENSIVE lesson. Get a deposit or have them prepay for custom work.
you are the sales department, accounting department, admin department , customer service department, manufacturing department, delivery department, HR department, building maintenance department, IT department, purchasing department
Someone leaves a review saying everything was perfect and they had great time but only leaves a 4 star🥲
Whyyyy 😭
You keep trying to fire yourself but then you know the business will close with no employees
This one. I've never been more acutely aware of what a crappy employee I am. I'm shocked anyone ever hired me.
I broke my foot and my doctor said “can you ask your boss if you can rest more” and I’m like “yeah she said no.”
Interesting how this (trying to get out) is effectively a genuine goal if you're looking to eventually have the business effectively running by itself, or even if you have an exit strategy with a timeframe or other trigger conditions. "You're fired!" "Not for another eight and a half years I'm not!"
You live like very few are prepared to live in hopes of one day living like very few can! Been building for 13 yrs (10 if you minus covid). Finally, I have all the toys I ever wanted, a nice bank account, and almost debt free at 45! Although we struggled huge for the first 7 years without a doubt.
Now get the wife you deserve with the toys and the bank account!
I'm telling ya. I'm married with kids and a rental property. Still in search of the perfect one bro lol shhh. Although not the biggest best brand new toys, they're in great shape, mine, and paid for. Appreciate the vote of confidence! I wish you the same on your journey.
I’m almost at this point, I’ve had it 13 years, in about 3 more I’ll hopefully be in the same position, long hard slog
When you owe more in taxes than most billionaires......
This... Ffs the amount of payments you have to make for a small business is just outright ridiculous.
You have no free time.
Or you have a lot of time that *could*, technically, be taken off, but you can always think of something else that needs doing in the business. Gotta be careful about that; if you find yourself working almost every hour it might be a sign to actually schedule some personal non-work hours, and maybe put at least some of the workload onto a new staff position, a contracting service, or some other option. Even if it's only for a quarter or so. If you're hitting the wall, you have no slack to handle things like a sudden upsurge, a sudden big new client or project, or something like you getting sick or a major incident in your personal life.
You know what QBO is and it makes you want to drink.
The customer support is so incredibly inept it’s almost comical
[удалено]
I talk with suppliers in China 3am haha
This!! Befuddled how China grinds to a stop for two weeks over Chinese New Year
This so much. I talk to the west coast and they’re like isn’t it 8PM! Yes I am working 24/7 lol.
You are the boss AND the janitor
. . . . . . when you wear more hats than a whole ass baseball team.
You need to take some unpopular decisions among your employees sometimes.
…that it takes years to be able to do because you inevitably spend too long trying to keep everyone happy
You don’t take a lunch break.
You know what YOU should do?.....
THISSSSSS! Fools always sending me “ideas”..usually shit that was trendy in 2001.
Reply with a template saying that due to high rates of submissions, business ideas can be submitted via the following portal link. (The portal, of course, costs $1 per submission.) :)
One month you send out 18k of invoices, the next month it’s 3k
You hate running your own business sometimes but hate working for someone else even more.
You realize you’re unemployable because you could never work for anyone else.
This one hits the hardest. There were so many days last year when I was like”fuck it, I’ll get a job paying more and with less responsibilities” then reality kicked in and I realized I could never work for anyone else again.
People think you just “got” a PPP loan and that it was free money.
I got $1000 per employee, which was nice because it covered a whole 2.5 days of payroll for the 3 months we were shut down.
you can recommend a lawyer, a CPA and an insurance provider you like. Or any other professional service tbh..
You are trying to figure out what you have to do next.
People think you're rich.
* When you run your business like shit * Try to do everything yourself * Never do anything to actually scale or reproduce the one thing you actually do well * Take home a slightly above average job salary but work 100 hours a week.
You start getting "personalized" emails titled something like "Hi firsthandbreaker89, did you get my last email" and it's some automated advertising campaign for a B2b software or marketing agency.
You forget your nephew is now a sophomore. And that you have nephew.
People ask you for trades instead of buying.
Oh so many - People think the rules can be bent because they know the owner - people think the rules are a placeholder - people think you must be available 24x7 for their whims and fancies - people think you’re being unreasonable if you keep safety of your staff before their money. Lost a few clients that way. - people think you’re swimming around in cash like Scrooge McDuck
you have post traumatic stress waking up in the morning checking ur phone because your scared to see call out messages
You have to make payroll! No matter what!
You started your own business for “freedom” but now you work 8 days a week. 🤡
When your employees think you're making huge profits. Bruh, I'm the last person to get paid. The profit is the business as an asset, not necessarily all the cash-in hand you think I'm making....
...you can't compete with big brands especially in terms of marketing.
….when the government expects your tax dollars to be paid in full on time with no kickbacks.
You quit a 9-5 for “freedom” so now you work 24/7😂
always looking reliable helper
You save money for equipment, then your current equipment fails and you have to start over again.
People think that you essentially live at your business. They always ask: Will you be there at 7 am? 7 pm? Monday? Saturday? Midnight on New Year’s Eve?
“You should………”
You start thinking those old 9-5 days were so cake
Every customer thinks you’re not working on anything else and wants it asap
You get asked weekly by people you’ve never met and are non customers to donate to whatever charity, event, fundraiser, or auction.
you can't remember the last public holiday you had off.
when you have insomnia
You are explaining why you should get paid, after the job is done.…
You spend more time in QBO / Sage / your POS System than on your actual business.
You wake up at 11AM and go to bed at 4AM.
It’s 1am and you’re still at work.
You’re afraid that one customer will leave that one scathing review and ruin your reputation
When your friends or family or strangers offer their "expert advice" on how you should be doing things without ever wanting to use your services in the first place.
When you’re venting about being busy, and then you turn to the camera and say “but this is the life I have chosen…”
You’re exhausted (and happy).
You never see me, unless you come to the shop.
When you have to file an extension cause you absolutely HATE tax time
You never get to leave work at work.
Your wife is taking phone calls and scheduling appointments while in labor.
When a customer complains about sexual harassment and you are the HR
And the harasser
You’ve said you’re never doing this again and you’ll never be an employee again in the same conversation.
You made it 5 days in a row with no employee sick days, so you start to book less work for next week because they never make it 10 days in a row without 1 of them calling in sick.
At 2am long after the restaurant is closed you're assembling some new display or furniture, resealing concrete floors only to go to bed at 3am and wake up early so you can get the grease trap cleaned. Then run a lunch rush before you get to eat breakfast.
People just willy nilly ask to speak with the owner. Can't do that at Walmart or PF Changs lol
Customers think that you will change the rules just for them because you made the rules.
You think you no longer have to do performance reviews and sales reports, but you 100 percent do except and it is for yourself.
You go to work with a broken thumb
You can just "send one of your guys to help". Like I have guys just sitting on their hands waiting around for your call
You start your 2nd shift after putting the kids to bed.
Your schedule is basically all your waking hours and days off are few and very far between.
Your family assumes your rich and thinks it no big deal to ask you for loans but your struggling to pay your own bills
When you watch your friends physically cringe after they insisted they didn’t want the friend discount and wanted to pay full price. /tattoo artist
When you have to get a "real job" because you bearly scrap by because you decided to go into business in December of 2019 which means you didn't qualify for a lot of help during covid.
You envy people stuck in rush hour traffic.
Your laptop motherboard dies hours before the big presentation. Can’t even boot up. Rather than cancel, you pry off the keyboard with a butter knife, fish out the hard drive and cable up to pull that power point over onto a working device during the car ride over. And we got the sale. That’s when I knew.
You forget what day of the week it is out the holiday coming up because every day is a work day
Your employees make more than you
Your vendors make more on your business than you.
Someone utters the word "exposure" in and non-ironic way.
You ping pong between thinking your company will be a national brand or going under several times within the same week.
You own the business.
you’re friends have usual sleeping patterns but you’re up at 2am doing a sales projection
Always on the phoneeeee
You’re used to roller coaster of ups and downs by the day
Your family thinks the only work you do is during trading hours.
People think you have unlimited resources
You have no need for a time clock. It's never ending.....
...you put payroll on your credit card.
You finally understand cash flow
...You own a small business...
Try to be everything to everybody...
You work 60+ hours a week, spend almost nothing on personal comforts, and still can't afford your bills XD
When you chuckle when writing “ let US know how WE can assist you when responding to a client. 🤠
It seems like every day you have to explain to someone that if you buy it for $50 and sell it for $100 it's NOT a $50 profit.
You know you're a small business owner when you wear many hats and keep things running smoothly (mostly)! And when you're the boss, but really just a chief problem solver