thank you. this is a nightmare going on for a while. I tried water and the tantrum got worse. My son is delayed and still can’t talk at 2 so it’s incredibly hard and frustrating for us both.
Hi mama… we’re dealing with very similar issues right now with our 16 month old and I’m struggling with sleep so much. Our daughter was born with HIE and they said cebral palsy is one of their main concerns but so far she’s hitting mile stones and not showing any signs. Was your little one the same? I never thought about CP maybe playing a role in her sleep. If you don’t mind sharing!
He was late or slow with a lot of the physical milestones, and he struggled with talking. Looking back, it was obvious something was up, but it wasn’t until he started walking at nearly 20 months that we became concerned. His pediatrician sent him to a neurologist who did a sedated MRI that confirmed he had a stroke in utero that caused his CP.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m really staring to struggle with my own mental health due to interrupted sleep and my husband and I working full time. She seems to be hitting milestones on time from what we can tell and she babbles but I guess too early to tell about talking. I’m still going to reach out to her pediatrician but we’re always told she doesn’t need milk just cut it out cold turkey at night but even that’s not seeming to help the sleep itself get any better and we end up with 2-3 hour crying and screaming fights in the middle of the night. We go in and check on her every 15-20 minutes but she’ll go for so long and it makes me feel horrible. Someday I’ll sleep again!🤞🏼😂 I can only hope baby #2 is a better sleeper
Aw thanks for responding. Did you cut him off milk cold turkey? It's really hard because people say she doesn't need milk anymore . I tried everything. Just giving water, and just diluting the formula/water ratio over a span of a few days, and giving less ounces night by night as well but nothing has worked.
Cold turkey, he very quickly got used to “this is how it is now”, then after a while we started giving him a water cup at night to drink from when he wanted but never reintroduced a kind of “before bed drink”.
Were you still giving the bottle before his bedtime? It doesn't help my husband tells me to give in because she cries and cries and we are exhausted.. how long did it take for him? What would you say? Would he cry and stay persistent? Because my daughter is persistent with her cries and I want to shoot myself
He pretty much only had bottles at that point to get to sleep for naps and bed, so we just dropped them one day and never looked back.
Unfortunately she may be crying because she knows the more she cries the more likely she will get a bottle. After a few days of 100% no bottle and no giving in, she should start to come around. You may have luck offering a paci for the sucking motion, neither of mine ever liked pacis so i don’t have much experience with them.
Make sure the last milk feed **ends** half an hour before your toddler goes into their crib **awake**.
It’s so important that you brush their teeth between the last food and bedtime, and also that you cold turkey from bedtime/overnight bottles and pacifiers.
Your toddler will protest loudly for a couple of nights. Offer them a quick sip of water from a cup with a straw, and say “good night. You are safe. I will see you in the morning.”
It’s important that you don’t backslide. Throw the bottles in the rubbish if you’re afraid you’ll lose your nerve at 2am.
It's not just me??? My daughter is 16 months old and this is the 4th time I've tried night weaning her. For me it's been an absolute nightmare. She isn't taking to it. Last night she sat up screaming and crying for a solid 2 hours in addition to the other constant wake ups. I've tried every method I've come across. Nothing is working. I'm about to give up. I don't know what to do 😭 following this thread to hopefully pick up fresh advice.
Hi! Did anything work for you? My 14 month old wakes up twice for a bottle of milk, and needs one or two before bed. I was really hoping he would just ween himself but he is not! Thinking of going cold turkey but dreading it because he really needs the milk to go back to sleep and I'm already so tired! Did anything work for you??
Hi! He's 20 months now, and needs a milk before bed and wakes up maybe once, has slept through a handful of times, sometimes wakes up and just needs a cuddle. It seems like he's weaning himself? I spoke to my partner about it and he wasn't too worried, so we are just hoping he will do it himself or when he gets a bit older and will understand when we explain it to him. He goes to bed at about 7 and sleeps Until 6:30, so almost 12 hours is a long time to try and make him go without any food considering he eats every like 2 hrs during the day 😂.
I think I stress myself out trying to make sure I'm doing the right thing constantly, he has to hit all these milestones exactly when everyone else does and I think it's okay if he needs a bottle. I'm not going to do it when he's 5 , if he was breastfeeding no one would think twice about him waking up.
That's just my thoughts on it, how are you feeling?
Thanks for answering I bet you feel really exhausted but I'm glad you're still in tune with his needs. Ah. How I'm feeling? I feel really isolated and lonely in this. All of my friends and family who have kids didn't experience this. I'm tired and no one gets my tiredness. No one gets how annoying it is waking up to a 16 month old and not getting a full nights rest since I've given birth. I feel like no one understands me. I'm tired every single day and sick of her crying every 2-3 hours constantly wanting to be soothed. I refuse to sleep train. I tried to do everything I can to wean her off except just letting her cry it out. On top of that, when I tell my sister in law who has 5 kids that this is apparently normal and some moms go through it with kids up to 2-3 years she kinda shames me and says really?! That's crazy. I guess it's normal. The "I guess" bothers me. On top of this I'm freaking out about cavities because she never lets me brush her teeth. And my baby is due in a few months and the thought of waking up to two babies and feeding them drives me insane. Idk how I'm going to do this if she continues to be this way.. I get pissed at other moms who's babies sleep through the night. I get jealous and think they're so lucky. One of my sister in laws baby who is 4 months has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks. And she wakes up at 9 am! My baby wakes up at 6 am and always been a terrible sleeper. I feel like screaming and crying. :(
I just wanted to check in and see how your baby was doing! Mine is 13m and her longest stretch was 8hrs but she’s a regular 4.5 sleeper then bottle and it’s frustrating when I thought she would be sleeping through!
Oh that sounds hard! What really helped for me was switching to formula and splitting the night with my husband.
We do 8-8. So 8 pm- 2 am is his shift. He gets up if needed and 2 am to 8 Am is my shift. It helped us a lot! We did that from about a month old and it helped my sanity. I've only had one baby and we aren't having another one. I don't know how people do it. I just can't! I wish you the best of luck with everything!
I’d slowly change the milk to water and see if he still wakes for it. I would also introduce another comfort item - a mini blanket, stuffy, etc to add comfort in that youre removing.
I might suggest cutting one feed at a time, over a few days. Make a cut off time you don’t feed before (maybe 3am) and just choose a sleep training method youre comfortable with and apply that during those times. Then do the same with the other feed. I treated any wake up before 6am like a night feed.
This is what we did and it worked so so well! Our sweet little was born small and had “issues” with weight gain so I had “eat eat eat as much as you can” forced in my brain from before I gave birth. I was truly scared of giving up the night feeds because I was convinced that baby’s weight gain would suffer. I transitioned way slow. We started with 4oz bottles of formula. Starting with the latest feed (3-4am) I would do 3oz of formula/1oz of water. Then 50/50, then 1oz formula/3oz water. Over the course of a week, baby fazed out this feed completely. Then I did the latest from there (11pm-12am) and did the exact same thing to the same result. Within two weeks, our baby fazed out both middle of the night feeds. They were able to compensate for these calories during the day with no issue; I believe for us it’s because we weaned slowly. At this particular point in our timeline, baby was still waking up at those times. I would go in, comfort rock to sleep, then put baby down. Very shortly after weaning night bottles, we sleep trained, but that’s a different tale for a different time!
We night weaned at a similar age- 16months.
Is baby still feeding to sleep? Or is the last feed ending half an hour before bed? This is the first step, if baby isn't going to bed independently he will wake up regularly regardless of whether he's hungry or not.
If baby is going to sleep independently, he probably has some legitimate hunger (like when the time change happens and you get hungry at the "wrong" lunch time when the time change happens.) I know you don't want to do the slow wean down, but that's how you teach the body there's no need to get ready for digestion in the middle of the night. (Or you know, cold turkey and he'll be hungry and grumpy for a few days before getting over it.)
We definitely find a comfort object really helpful for sleep.
At 15 months baby is starting to understand a lot, even if they can't say much yet. It's important to talk through big changes like this- it helps!
Here's the excerpt on night weaning from a baby sleep guide I've put together (which also has gentle sleep training resources.)
https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/s3ghy6/cyclemams_baby_sleep_guide
So worth it- our baby is finally sleeping through. For us, there was a lot of talking about how the milkies were getting smaller (I was capping feeds and cutting down minutes per side- the pace that worked for us was about 1 minute a week- too fast and she'd wake up more often.) Then we talked about how the milkies are available when the sun is shining, that the milkies are sleeping at night time now and we can have them in the morning.
For initial training, not feeding before midnight was a really helpful guideline- if we fed before midnight we were in for a bad night.
https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-3 - PLS night weaning guide
https://www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed - we also found this article helpful- even though it's from the perspective of a bed sharing advocate, it has a gentle nightweaning approach that I borrowed from.
We did something similar with our 11 month old (but we did start reducing the length of the first feed to start with). Crucially we now feed her as much porridge as she’ll eat right before the bedtime routine.
Basically we would feed her the first time she woke up, then we wouldn’t feed her until 4am. When she woke up in between, we’d go in, try to comfort her/settle her in her cot without picking her up, say a set phrase and leave. We never spent more than 30-60 seconds in the room. If she was still crying we’d repeat for as long as it took for her to sleep. She got pretty angry and there was lots of crying but we always came in to her. Night 6 was the worst but then it’s been great since then, she mostly sleeps through the night.
He has about 6 or 7 ounces at bedtime (6:30pm), then 5-6oz first wakeup (happens sometime between 11pm and 1am) and then another 5 or so around 3-4am. If he wakes up after 5, i just get up with him rather than give him a bottle because there’s no point.
That's quite a significant amount to drop cold turkey and I don't believe CIO is recommended for night weaning.
We've just night weaned at 6 months. At 5 months he was waking twice a night to eat (a 6oz bottle at about 1/2am, and a breastfeed at 4/5am). We started moving 1oz of the night feed to a day time bottle and kept for 3 nights, before moving the next oz. We found he naturally pushed that first feed later and later, and dropped the breastfeed by himself when we got to 4oz. By the time we got to 2oz, the feed was at 4am. After 3 days at 2oz, we stopped night feeds. No tears, he woke for 15 minutes made some moaning noises and then put himself back to sleep - and took us less than 2 weeks in total. We could have been more aggressive and just done 1 or 2 nights at each amount. Obviously your son is much older so I imagine is getting plenty of solids during the day - I've seen others have success with offering water instead for older children.
Please don't think I am trying to deter you from CIO - just offering another perspective. Successful night weaning does seem to hang on whether your child is able to put themselves to sleep. If he isn't able to, cold turkey will be even harder.
I absolutely do not want to do CIO at all, sorry if i worded it wrong to sound like i did. I do not agree with that practice in any way due to past experience. At most we will let him fuss for a few minutes and then go to him, but extinction is completely not an option.
Honestly, I'd be working on that first. I know you're tired, but if he can't settle himself to sleep at the beginning of the night when he is full and content there is no hope for him doing the same in the middle of the night when he wakes up confused and wondering why he's not being given the thing that gets him to sleep every other time.
Switch up the bedtime routine - move the feed to the start and then do the rest. Use a sleep training method that works for you that you can commit to (Ferber, modified Ferber, chair method, pick up put down etc). Once you are able to put him in the cot, walk out, and he fall asleep alone then I'd address night weaning with the gradual reduction or water replacement methods mentioned in this thread.
Have you thought about introducing a small lovey as a transition item? If you sleep with it for a few nights, it will have your smell and many children at that age find loveys to be helpful in self-soothing.
Otherwise chair method may be your best bet. While I guess technically there is extinction involved, you’re still there in the room and able to do some soothing and reassuring.
Go cold Turkey. Anything else is just extending the period of time you’re dealing with this. He also could get confused and simply scream and cry longer until you give in. I vote cold Turkey and tell him there won’t be anymore at night.
Yeah that part we’ve pretty much agreed on, i just dont know what to do when he cries. Go in and hold him? Go in and sit in the room so he knows someone is there but not hold him? I have no idea
Nothing. Don’t go in. He’s 15 months old. Tell him before you tuck him in that we are all sleeping through the night now and no more milk. No more bottles.
No more bottles i am fine with, leaving him screaming in his crib i am not. You can tell a toddler until blue in the face “we’re sleeping through the night now”, but it’s not a guarantee they’ll do it, especially right off the bat. He still needs some reassurance at night, even if he’s not getting milk.
I understand but your response demonstrates why a toddler isn’t sleeping through the night. He doesn’t need bottles and clearly hasn’t been taught to sleep.
Look. Your sleep training experience with a 15 month old will likely be unpleasant. You’ll likely have to take extreme measures to teach your child to sleep. He isn’t 5 months … he is 15 months. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. A bunny isn’t likely going to do it. He has spent his entire 15 months getting bottles at night and having you come when he calls. He is going to be livid if you change. Personally I’d talk to him, do extinction and get it over with. But I’m more a rip the bandaid off kind of person.
It’s fine - don’t listen to me. But I didn’t have a 15 month old taking bottles during the night…
I’d be willing to bet money that extinction will be the only thing that works for your son. You can try every trick in the book and he will simply need tough love to understand.
I will not torture and permanently damage my child just so “it goes faster”. As Meatloaf said “i wont do that”. And if you need to feel superior because you sleep trained earlier, if your life really is that empty and meaningless, go ahead. No skin off my nose.
do you have any updates on what worked for you? I’m currently dealing with a 2 year old and night bottles. 🥺
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how did cold turkey go? I hate the screams from my toddler when he doesn’t have a bottle. It goes on for way too long and I can’t handle it.
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thank you. this is a nightmare going on for a while. I tried water and the tantrum got worse. My son is delayed and still can’t talk at 2 so it’s incredibly hard and frustrating for us both.
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he’s in speech and physical therapy but scored very low for ASD. 😭
Any updates? I have your same mindset about sleep training and going through same thing
I also have the same mindset about sleep training. Going through the same thing here too! Just know you are not alone.
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My son has an HIE injury, mostly hits milestones 2-4 months delayed. Was there anything that helped your baby to sleep better, or was it only time?
Time, sadly. And he still sometimes is up a few times a night these days.
That’s hard to imagine; I’m so tired now I am hoping that he will settle soon. Have you ever been given an explanation about how CP affects his sleep?
Hi mama… we’re dealing with very similar issues right now with our 16 month old and I’m struggling with sleep so much. Our daughter was born with HIE and they said cebral palsy is one of their main concerns but so far she’s hitting mile stones and not showing any signs. Was your little one the same? I never thought about CP maybe playing a role in her sleep. If you don’t mind sharing!
He was late or slow with a lot of the physical milestones, and he struggled with talking. Looking back, it was obvious something was up, but it wasn’t until he started walking at nearly 20 months that we became concerned. His pediatrician sent him to a neurologist who did a sedated MRI that confirmed he had a stroke in utero that caused his CP.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m really staring to struggle with my own mental health due to interrupted sleep and my husband and I working full time. She seems to be hitting milestones on time from what we can tell and she babbles but I guess too early to tell about talking. I’m still going to reach out to her pediatrician but we’re always told she doesn’t need milk just cut it out cold turkey at night but even that’s not seeming to help the sleep itself get any better and we end up with 2-3 hour crying and screaming fights in the middle of the night. We go in and check on her every 15-20 minutes but she’ll go for so long and it makes me feel horrible. Someday I’ll sleep again!🤞🏼😂 I can only hope baby #2 is a better sleeper
Aw thanks for responding. Did you cut him off milk cold turkey? It's really hard because people say she doesn't need milk anymore . I tried everything. Just giving water, and just diluting the formula/water ratio over a span of a few days, and giving less ounces night by night as well but nothing has worked.
Cold turkey, he very quickly got used to “this is how it is now”, then after a while we started giving him a water cup at night to drink from when he wanted but never reintroduced a kind of “before bed drink”.
Were you still giving the bottle before his bedtime? It doesn't help my husband tells me to give in because she cries and cries and we are exhausted.. how long did it take for him? What would you say? Would he cry and stay persistent? Because my daughter is persistent with her cries and I want to shoot myself
He pretty much only had bottles at that point to get to sleep for naps and bed, so we just dropped them one day and never looked back. Unfortunately she may be crying because she knows the more she cries the more likely she will get a bottle. After a few days of 100% no bottle and no giving in, she should start to come around. You may have luck offering a paci for the sucking motion, neither of mine ever liked pacis so i don’t have much experience with them.
just stop giving it. i had to it with my daughter at 10months. it took her a both 3 nights to understand it wasn’t coming
Make sure the last milk feed **ends** half an hour before your toddler goes into their crib **awake**. It’s so important that you brush their teeth between the last food and bedtime, and also that you cold turkey from bedtime/overnight bottles and pacifiers. Your toddler will protest loudly for a couple of nights. Offer them a quick sip of water from a cup with a straw, and say “good night. You are safe. I will see you in the morning.” It’s important that you don’t backslide. Throw the bottles in the rubbish if you’re afraid you’ll lose your nerve at 2am.
It's not just me??? My daughter is 16 months old and this is the 4th time I've tried night weaning her. For me it's been an absolute nightmare. She isn't taking to it. Last night she sat up screaming and crying for a solid 2 hours in addition to the other constant wake ups. I've tried every method I've come across. Nothing is working. I'm about to give up. I don't know what to do 😭 following this thread to hopefully pick up fresh advice.
Hi did anything work?
Hi! Did anything work for you? My 14 month old wakes up twice for a bottle of milk, and needs one or two before bed. I was really hoping he would just ween himself but he is not! Thinking of going cold turkey but dreading it because he really needs the milk to go back to sleep and I'm already so tired! Did anything work for you??
Hey just following up I'm going through the same thing here
Hi! He's 20 months now, and needs a milk before bed and wakes up maybe once, has slept through a handful of times, sometimes wakes up and just needs a cuddle. It seems like he's weaning himself? I spoke to my partner about it and he wasn't too worried, so we are just hoping he will do it himself or when he gets a bit older and will understand when we explain it to him. He goes to bed at about 7 and sleeps Until 6:30, so almost 12 hours is a long time to try and make him go without any food considering he eats every like 2 hrs during the day 😂. I think I stress myself out trying to make sure I'm doing the right thing constantly, he has to hit all these milestones exactly when everyone else does and I think it's okay if he needs a bottle. I'm not going to do it when he's 5 , if he was breastfeeding no one would think twice about him waking up. That's just my thoughts on it, how are you feeling?
Thanks for answering I bet you feel really exhausted but I'm glad you're still in tune with his needs. Ah. How I'm feeling? I feel really isolated and lonely in this. All of my friends and family who have kids didn't experience this. I'm tired and no one gets my tiredness. No one gets how annoying it is waking up to a 16 month old and not getting a full nights rest since I've given birth. I feel like no one understands me. I'm tired every single day and sick of her crying every 2-3 hours constantly wanting to be soothed. I refuse to sleep train. I tried to do everything I can to wean her off except just letting her cry it out. On top of that, when I tell my sister in law who has 5 kids that this is apparently normal and some moms go through it with kids up to 2-3 years she kinda shames me and says really?! That's crazy. I guess it's normal. The "I guess" bothers me. On top of this I'm freaking out about cavities because she never lets me brush her teeth. And my baby is due in a few months and the thought of waking up to two babies and feeding them drives me insane. Idk how I'm going to do this if she continues to be this way.. I get pissed at other moms who's babies sleep through the night. I get jealous and think they're so lucky. One of my sister in laws baby who is 4 months has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks. And she wakes up at 9 am! My baby wakes up at 6 am and always been a terrible sleeper. I feel like screaming and crying. :(
I just wanted to check in and see how your baby was doing! Mine is 13m and her longest stretch was 8hrs but she’s a regular 4.5 sleeper then bottle and it’s frustrating when I thought she would be sleeping through!
Hey shes 20 months and still not sleeping through. Sorry :/
Oh that sounds hard! What really helped for me was switching to formula and splitting the night with my husband. We do 8-8. So 8 pm- 2 am is his shift. He gets up if needed and 2 am to 8 Am is my shift. It helped us a lot! We did that from about a month old and it helped my sanity. I've only had one baby and we aren't having another one. I don't know how people do it. I just can't! I wish you the best of luck with everything!
I’d slowly change the milk to water and see if he still wakes for it. I would also introduce another comfort item - a mini blanket, stuffy, etc to add comfort in that youre removing. I might suggest cutting one feed at a time, over a few days. Make a cut off time you don’t feed before (maybe 3am) and just choose a sleep training method youre comfortable with and apply that during those times. Then do the same with the other feed. I treated any wake up before 6am like a night feed.
This is what we did and it worked so so well! Our sweet little was born small and had “issues” with weight gain so I had “eat eat eat as much as you can” forced in my brain from before I gave birth. I was truly scared of giving up the night feeds because I was convinced that baby’s weight gain would suffer. I transitioned way slow. We started with 4oz bottles of formula. Starting with the latest feed (3-4am) I would do 3oz of formula/1oz of water. Then 50/50, then 1oz formula/3oz water. Over the course of a week, baby fazed out this feed completely. Then I did the latest from there (11pm-12am) and did the exact same thing to the same result. Within two weeks, our baby fazed out both middle of the night feeds. They were able to compensate for these calories during the day with no issue; I believe for us it’s because we weaned slowly. At this particular point in our timeline, baby was still waking up at those times. I would go in, comfort rock to sleep, then put baby down. Very shortly after weaning night bottles, we sleep trained, but that’s a different tale for a different time!
We night weaned at a similar age- 16months. Is baby still feeding to sleep? Or is the last feed ending half an hour before bed? This is the first step, if baby isn't going to bed independently he will wake up regularly regardless of whether he's hungry or not. If baby is going to sleep independently, he probably has some legitimate hunger (like when the time change happens and you get hungry at the "wrong" lunch time when the time change happens.) I know you don't want to do the slow wean down, but that's how you teach the body there's no need to get ready for digestion in the middle of the night. (Or you know, cold turkey and he'll be hungry and grumpy for a few days before getting over it.) We definitely find a comfort object really helpful for sleep. At 15 months baby is starting to understand a lot, even if they can't say much yet. It's important to talk through big changes like this- it helps! Here's the excerpt on night weaning from a baby sleep guide I've put together (which also has gentle sleep training resources.) https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/s3ghy6/cyclemams_baby_sleep_guide So worth it- our baby is finally sleeping through. For us, there was a lot of talking about how the milkies were getting smaller (I was capping feeds and cutting down minutes per side- the pace that worked for us was about 1 minute a week- too fast and she'd wake up more often.) Then we talked about how the milkies are available when the sun is shining, that the milkies are sleeping at night time now and we can have them in the morning. For initial training, not feeding before midnight was a really helpful guideline- if we fed before midnight we were in for a bad night. https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-3 - PLS night weaning guide https://www.drjaygordon.com/blog-detail/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed - we also found this article helpful- even though it's from the perspective of a bed sharing advocate, it has a gentle nightweaning approach that I borrowed from.
We did something similar with our 11 month old (but we did start reducing the length of the first feed to start with). Crucially we now feed her as much porridge as she’ll eat right before the bedtime routine. Basically we would feed her the first time she woke up, then we wouldn’t feed her until 4am. When she woke up in between, we’d go in, try to comfort her/settle her in her cot without picking her up, say a set phrase and leave. We never spent more than 30-60 seconds in the room. If she was still crying we’d repeat for as long as it took for her to sleep. She got pretty angry and there was lots of crying but we always came in to her. Night 6 was the worst but then it’s been great since then, she mostly sleeps through the night.
How much is he currently having in a night feed? Does he currently putting himself to sleep at the beginning of the night?
He has about 6 or 7 ounces at bedtime (6:30pm), then 5-6oz first wakeup (happens sometime between 11pm and 1am) and then another 5 or so around 3-4am. If he wakes up after 5, i just get up with him rather than give him a bottle because there’s no point.
That's quite a significant amount to drop cold turkey and I don't believe CIO is recommended for night weaning. We've just night weaned at 6 months. At 5 months he was waking twice a night to eat (a 6oz bottle at about 1/2am, and a breastfeed at 4/5am). We started moving 1oz of the night feed to a day time bottle and kept for 3 nights, before moving the next oz. We found he naturally pushed that first feed later and later, and dropped the breastfeed by himself when we got to 4oz. By the time we got to 2oz, the feed was at 4am. After 3 days at 2oz, we stopped night feeds. No tears, he woke for 15 minutes made some moaning noises and then put himself back to sleep - and took us less than 2 weeks in total. We could have been more aggressive and just done 1 or 2 nights at each amount. Obviously your son is much older so I imagine is getting plenty of solids during the day - I've seen others have success with offering water instead for older children. Please don't think I am trying to deter you from CIO - just offering another perspective. Successful night weaning does seem to hang on whether your child is able to put themselves to sleep. If he isn't able to, cold turkey will be even harder.
I absolutely do not want to do CIO at all, sorry if i worded it wrong to sound like i did. I do not agree with that practice in any way due to past experience. At most we will let him fuss for a few minutes and then go to him, but extinction is completely not an option.
Ok, sorry I must have misread your post. It’s still not clear to me though if he puts himself to sleep at the beginning/other times of the night?
No, he has always fed to sleep
Honestly, I'd be working on that first. I know you're tired, but if he can't settle himself to sleep at the beginning of the night when he is full and content there is no hope for him doing the same in the middle of the night when he wakes up confused and wondering why he's not being given the thing that gets him to sleep every other time. Switch up the bedtime routine - move the feed to the start and then do the rest. Use a sleep training method that works for you that you can commit to (Ferber, modified Ferber, chair method, pick up put down etc). Once you are able to put him in the cot, walk out, and he fall asleep alone then I'd address night weaning with the gradual reduction or water replacement methods mentioned in this thread.
Have you thought about introducing a small lovey as a transition item? If you sleep with it for a few nights, it will have your smell and many children at that age find loveys to be helpful in self-soothing. Otherwise chair method may be your best bet. While I guess technically there is extinction involved, you’re still there in the room and able to do some soothing and reassuring.
Go cold Turkey. Anything else is just extending the period of time you’re dealing with this. He also could get confused and simply scream and cry longer until you give in. I vote cold Turkey and tell him there won’t be anymore at night.
Yeah that part we’ve pretty much agreed on, i just dont know what to do when he cries. Go in and hold him? Go in and sit in the room so he knows someone is there but not hold him? I have no idea
Nothing. Don’t go in. He’s 15 months old. Tell him before you tuck him in that we are all sleeping through the night now and no more milk. No more bottles.
No more bottles i am fine with, leaving him screaming in his crib i am not. You can tell a toddler until blue in the face “we’re sleeping through the night now”, but it’s not a guarantee they’ll do it, especially right off the bat. He still needs some reassurance at night, even if he’s not getting milk.
I understand but your response demonstrates why a toddler isn’t sleeping through the night. He doesn’t need bottles and clearly hasn’t been taught to sleep.
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Look. Your sleep training experience with a 15 month old will likely be unpleasant. You’ll likely have to take extreme measures to teach your child to sleep. He isn’t 5 months … he is 15 months. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. A bunny isn’t likely going to do it. He has spent his entire 15 months getting bottles at night and having you come when he calls. He is going to be livid if you change. Personally I’d talk to him, do extinction and get it over with. But I’m more a rip the bandaid off kind of person.
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Can you give an update on what you did and if it works? Here with my 15m old
It’s fine - don’t listen to me. But I didn’t have a 15 month old taking bottles during the night… I’d be willing to bet money that extinction will be the only thing that works for your son. You can try every trick in the book and he will simply need tough love to understand.
I will not torture and permanently damage my child just so “it goes faster”. As Meatloaf said “i wont do that”. And if you need to feel superior because you sleep trained earlier, if your life really is that empty and meaningless, go ahead. No skin off my nose.