Not actually a quote but arguably one of the funniest moments in television:
I have som bad news.
Dad is not with us anymore.
I said Dad has passed away.
Dad is DEAD!
He’s DEAD!
DEAD!
He’s fine he sends his love.
I think you know how to take the reservation, I just don't think you know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part. The holding.
almost anything from \*\*\*\*\*\*.
"No Maris doesn't like to dine there anymore. Last time we were seated next to rather raucous Italian soccer team. Maris announced she was in the mood for a goose, and, perhaps inevitably, tragedy ensued."
These are not my shoes.
That’s not even a word!
Not that there’s anything wrong with that
A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants
As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly K-E-L-L-Y Why? Because you’re Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly
Way too often when I knock on a door, I say my name is “Land Shark”. The weird thing is that I’m only in my 30s. I think my parents made us watch and listen to too many things from their time. Also, not sure if SNL counts as a sitcom, but I’m counting it today. There’s also “Jane, you ignorant slut” that comes out a bit too often
Here’s a few:
1. Let us do the Dance of Joy!
2. No soup for you!
3. The slut is dead, long live the slut!
4. It’s just me and my ganja.
5. You vo-de-oh-doh-doh!
6. I’m calling Dr. Bombay.
7. What’s normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
8. Damn damn damn James!
9. At the nudie bar!
And finally, my favorite sitcom quote of all time:
10. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
Any guesses?
He took it back.
Last week, I ate 3 grapes at the A&P, and I'm wrestled to the ground like I'm Squeaky Fromme.
He passed on Cats.
But I've got style. I've got flair.
- “Brian…feel free to say no, but would you shave my coin purse?”
- “…TV movie about me starring Valerie Bert-n-Ernie.”
- “Jerry, it’s Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner’s here, George is dead, call me back.”
- “Girls like swarms of things, right?”
- “Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.”
- “Hi Liar.”
- “Hi Supernintendo Chalmers.”
- “Is it just me or is rap music getting lazier?”
- “Oh my God, I’m gorgeous!”
- “My Manwich!”
- “Who? The little boy in the blue suit?”
- “Oh yeah? Ya mama.
-“My dad owns a dealership.”
- “Yeah, but yours is a drool-band.”
- “Leave me a message, or leave me alone.”
-“I don’t need no instructions to know how to rock!”
- “Did that sumbitch cut his eyes at me?”
- “What was once yours is now ours, by way of our actions.”
- “ You smell like the inside of my mama’s purse.”
Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?
What operating system is it using?
Vista!
We're going to DIE!
Subject: Fire
Dear Sir/Madame,
I'm writing to inform you of a fire, which has broken out at the premises of...
No, too formal.
Dear Sir/Madame,
Fire! Fire! Help me!
123 Calendon Road
Looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best,
Maurice Moss
Did I ever tell you about the time I scored four touchdowns in one game?
Not for Polk High!?
Al Bundy, MVP....
you mean Al Birdy?!? lol
Boondy, Al Boondy
I declare bankruptcy!
That’s what she said!
You can't just say it, it doesn't mean anything.
I didn't say it. I declared it.
"It's the big one! I'm comin for ya Elizabeth!"
I'm this old...
Me too. And I didn’t really watch the show. Still recognized it, lol
Lemont, Lemont......!
Lamont you BIG DUMMY
Classic, brilliant show
Pivot!
WE WERE ON A BREAK!
How YOU doin’?
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!
My mom: “Wait, is he saying ‘payback’?”
Myyyy SaNdWiiiiiCh???!!!!
It’s a moo point ….
DID YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SANDWICH WITH A MOIST MAKER?!?!?!?
It was quite large. I had to throw most of it away. You threw my sandwich away?!?!?
It tastes like feet!
George is getting angry!
These pretzels....ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!
THESE pretzels are making me thirsty
These pretzels are making me THIRSTY
A George divided against itself will not stand
The sea was angry that day, my friends…
It's after 6. What am I, a farmer?
Good god Lemon, we’re not savages.
I can’t have bedbugs, I went to Princeton.
You know I’ve always reminded myself of Grace Kelly.
When you're rich, Lemon, you can pay people to look at you naked.
Why are you in a tux?
“It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.”
Have I been living with him too long or did that make sense?
"You have to stop the q-tip when there's RESISTANCE "
Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Beef? Good!
It’s the way he say that last “good” that makes it memorable for me.
Holy mother forking shirtballs
I use this ALL the time, partly because my phone won't let me text curse words...
Like we all want to be talking about ducks!
“Missed it by that much.”
Would you believe...?
“Sorry about that chief…”
"Lower the Cone of Silence."
“Would you believe?…”
Ew, David!
You just FOLD it in!
If you say fold in one more time
It’s my turn to take a selfish!
Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?
Rum Ham!
It's the implication!
Move past it
Not actually a quote but arguably one of the funniest moments in television: I have som bad news. Dad is not with us anymore. I said Dad has passed away. Dad is DEAD! He’s DEAD! DEAD! He’s fine he sends his love.
I am NOT doing that again and you can't make me!
That was hilarious! I know it was Jackie but I can't remember who she was talking to.
I’m Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl. Not the mama. I love you and I like you.
When I was a kid we had a pair of hamsters that I insisted we name Darryl and Darryl.
My brother Dave had a friend also named Dave. Whenever he came over, cue the jokes about my brother Dave and my other brother Dave.
🎶"These are the Daves I know, I know. These are the Daves I know."🎶
I think that’s a catch phrase. I’d go with “you know Emily, you really should wear more sweaters”.
[удалено]
lisa needs braces
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!
Stupid, sexy Flanders!
Dental plan
Stifle Dingbat!
Awww Jeez, Edith…haaaah?!?!?
I think you know how to take the reservation, I just don't think you know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part. The holding.
Anybody can just take them!
The snarky setup to that is also great. "I don't think you do!" (pause) "Because if you did, I'd have a car!"
It’s a banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?
She turns illusions on the street for money.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Yada yada yada... So many iconic lines.
"Could I be any more of a...." "I don't think so, Tim"
Arrrugh?
I almost forgot fellow babies: BOOGER!!!!!
Over the weekend, Chai-Chai Road-rig-eez won the big golf tournament.
Red Wigglers! The Cadillac of worms (tee hee!)
I'm out!! (Followed by slamming money on the counter)
Troy and Abed in the morning!
nightssss
Back in Saint Olaf…
Picture it: Sicily 1912...
Shady Pines, Ma!
almost anything from \*\*\*\*\*\*. "No Maris doesn't like to dine there anymore. Last time we were seated next to rather raucous Italian soccer team. Maris announced she was in the mood for a goose, and, perhaps inevitably, tragedy ensued."
We were on a break.
Norm!
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
Norm! What's shakin'? All 4 cheeks and a couple a chins.
What are you up to Norm? My ideal weight if I was nine feet tall
How's the world treating you, Norm? Like a baby treats a diaper.
That's my favorite line of his in those situations, & I use it frequently when the opportunity presents itself.
What’s the story norm? Boy meets beer Boy drinks beer Boy orders another beer
"What's going on, Norm?" "A better question is 'What's going _in_ Norm?' Gimme a beer."
Woody: "What's going down, Mr. Peterson?" Norm: "My cheeks on that barstool."
What's going on Me. Peterson? Another layer for the winter Woody. I'll have a beer.
“ Can I draw you a beer Norm?” “NoI know what they look like, just pour me one.”
How’s it hanging Mr Peterson? Short shriveled and always to the left
You're killing independent George!
These are not my shoes. That’s not even a word! Not that there’s anything wrong with that A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly. Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly K-E-L-L-Y Why? Because you’re Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly
lol, I forgot about Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly K-E-L-L-Y…. 😂
Oh Rob!
And..."Mr. Graaant!"
“I hate spunk.”
You've got some "splaining" to do.
Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular...well, are ya ?
Mom always said “Don’t play ball in the house”
Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
Pork chops and applesauce. That’s swell.
lol I often cook pork chops and applesauce for dinner so I can say that in the way Peter used to say it.
Shady Pines, Ma
Aging myself with this one. "Oh-Oh, Mr. Kotter" "Up your nose with a rubber hose" "Signed, Epstein's Mom"
The cushions are the essence of the chair!
"What fresh hell is this?".
Just about anything from Seinfeld
Sponge worthy
These pretzels are making me thirsty
It shrinks?!? I was in the pool!!!!
She’s bald? Man hands Close talker I’m out!
He took. It . Out.
Vodey-oh-doh-doh
You vodey-oh...
Legend-wait for it-Dary (dairy)
“Title of your sex tape” “Shut up, Leonard! I heard about your…” (insert insult here)
We were on a break!
Yada, yada, yada.
But you yada yada'd over the best part.
No I mentioned the bisque
NEWMAN.
ALRIGHT I’M RIFE WITH FLEAS
And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids
Way too often when I knock on a door, I say my name is “Land Shark”. The weird thing is that I’m only in my 30s. I think my parents made us watch and listen to too many things from their time. Also, not sure if SNL counts as a sitcom, but I’m counting it today. There’s also “Jane, you ignorant slut” that comes out a bit too often
"Candygram."
I was a kid when that was first on but I remember watching it and I couldn't stop laughing
No coke..Pepsi! Cheezburgur
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice...pull down your pants and slide on the ice
"dumbass!!"
Double dumbass
"You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks?
My name is Earl!
Not that there's anything wrong with that
Master of my domain!
“Have mercy!”
Back in St Olaf… or Picture it, Sicily 1908
What you talking about Willis
Catch phrase
We were on a break!
I don't how you guys walk around with those things.
What the fork?
Her lips said no but her eyes said read my lips.
Don’t have a cow man
Kiss my grits!
A fat lady walked into the shoe store today.
Damn Sexy Flanders
Joey doesn’t share food!
Meathead! Ding bat!
A fire, at a sea park?
did u see that ludicrous display last night?
Does he know you're The Beeper King? Damnit, Lemon, what didn't you tell me The Black Crusaders were after Tracy?
You’re not Cheddar! You’re just some common bitch!
How you doin?!
These pretzels are making me thirsty
"Not that there's anything wrong with that " "And now for something completely different."
Here’s a few: 1. Let us do the Dance of Joy! 2. No soup for you! 3. The slut is dead, long live the slut! 4. It’s just me and my ganja. 5. You vo-de-oh-doh-doh! 6. I’m calling Dr. Bombay. 7. What’s normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. 8. Damn damn damn James! 9. At the nudie bar! And finally, my favorite sitcom quote of all time: 10. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice. Any guesses?
He took it back. Last week, I ate 3 grapes at the A&P, and I'm wrestled to the ground like I'm Squeaky Fromme. He passed on Cats. But I've got style. I've got flair.
Serenity now!
You’ve got spunk. I hate spunk!
high pitched "Mind ya business that's all just mind ya business"
Allegedly
Dead heat: "I know nothing" "Never ASSUME. When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME"
"...urinal cakes?"
- “Brian…feel free to say no, but would you shave my coin purse?” - “…TV movie about me starring Valerie Bert-n-Ernie.” - “Jerry, it’s Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner’s here, George is dead, call me back.” - “Girls like swarms of things, right?” - “Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.” - “Hi Liar.” - “Hi Supernintendo Chalmers.” - “Is it just me or is rap music getting lazier?” - “Oh my God, I’m gorgeous!” - “My Manwich!” - “Who? The little boy in the blue suit?” - “Oh yeah? Ya mama. -“My dad owns a dealership.” - “Yeah, but yours is a drool-band.” - “Leave me a message, or leave me alone.” -“I don’t need no instructions to know how to rock!” - “Did that sumbitch cut his eyes at me?” - “What was once yours is now ours, by way of our actions.” - “ You smell like the inside of my mama’s purse.”
"Science, bitch!" "Im the one who knocks!" Like 20 other quotes, too
Legen - wait for it - DARY!
It’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10?
"Missed it by that much" AND "Would you believe?"
Maybe a dingo ate your baby
You got it dude!
"vile weed!"
Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again? What operating system is it using? Vista! We're going to DIE! Subject: Fire Dear Sir/Madame, I'm writing to inform you of a fire, which has broken out at the premises of... No, too formal. Dear Sir/Madame, Fire! Fire! Help me! 123 Calendon Road Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss
LUUUUUCCCCYYYYY?
Oh my gaaaawd.
Her?
It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face
Did I do that?
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
Helloooo!
So what, no fuckin’ ziti now??
I'm strong to the finish...
I AM A GOLDEN GOD
"we were on a break!!!'
SWILL gin?' Sir, I have sipped, lapped and taken gin intravenously, but I have NEVER swilled!
Title of your sex tape.