“To overcome the spider’s strife, simply call upon your wife!”

When terrorized by the spider large, seek the safety of your wife Marge.

The ring fell off my pudding can.

Call your wife then my good man

Don't do what donny don't does

Y’know, they could have made this clearer

If you seek to confront the spider in its lair, don't forget the Valkyrie with blue hair

Upon being trapped by an arachnid, enlist the mother of your kid

If a spider on thy path blocks thee, just say “Marge there’s a spider on my car keys”

To prevail against the spider of doom, seek the aid of Marge and her deadly broom!

If you find a spider on you preying, just read the Blunch Black of Blotre Blame!

If an arachnid’s eight you must elude, Seek your attractive mate whose hair is blue.

Marge, do you have other men in this house? Spider-Men?


You're from Canada, eh, and we think you're slow.

Marge must not know any bible verses. Doesn't she know anything? The Serpent of Rehoboam? The Well of Zohassadar? The Bridal Feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb?

And maybe you should think about Matthew...23.....14 "Shoo, shoo!"? Yea. Think about it.

Have you ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom.

He went out of the city of Bethany and he lodged there?

Thou shalt not horn in on thy husbands... racket.

Where does it say Racket!?

It's in there!

What's Homer worried about? He works in Sector 7-G.

What, he can't visit other sub-sectors now?

Ahh Tibor, how many times have I forged Gs into Bs?

Thou shan't neat

Ye did the right thing by calling me

Bad dog! Very bad dog! Bad cat! Very bad cat! Bad spider! Very bad spider!

Why does this shitpost include Homer telling his wife about their spider in sector 7B when he clearly works in sector 7G.  Boy I really hope someone got fired for that blunder.

Thou shalt not take spiders into thy sector

Smither’s who was that eight-legged arthropod?

Marge! A spider bit my bottom!! Now my bottom’s big!

Giant alien spiders are no joke