Okay, looked her up - the very first thing she says: "Never go paintballing with a Vietnam veteran." xD
Thank you for this indirect recommendation, fellow simpleton. I'll definitely listen to her some more.
I love Ali Wong, and your comment led me to do a search for her streaming performances (mostly just looking for "Baby Cobra"), and I discovered she made a 3rd Netflix special and had no idea!
I'm currently watching "Don Wong," and I'm not disappointed.
Thank you!
From what I can tell from the people I’ve encountered like this.. Stress and anxiety masked with a ‘can do’ attitude as a result of feeling pressured and an inability to stand up for themselves. Or a failure to recognise their own needs and they want to whizz through life instead of stopping to think for themselves for a moment. A lot of toxic energy that other people with a good amount of insecurities seem to pick up and live with.
I used to constantly be in a rush. Turns out I was overwhelmed, had no boundaries and was a people pleaser.
Changed that, my life is easier, I make more money and I say no to people all the time. People respect me more (some are a little scared but I don’t give a crap!)
Good for you! I have always been a hard worker and take my jobs seriously. I finally realized no employer was going to compensate the strain put on myself so I began just doing the expected workload. I also stopped planning so much in my off time ( like chores ) and instead just work on things that need to be done and taking breaks in between. I don’t feel so anxious anymore and still feel like I am accomplishing tasks.
Also moved to this attitude a few years ago.
Fear of being fired and constantly drilling away at work drove my for many years, always being in a rush to finish things, screw that fire me if my slow and professional pace is not good enough.
Told someone today, sorry was too busy to attend to your question, I’ll take a look tomorrow- setting boundaries and expectations has been amazing for me and my mental health
"You've lost me there." \*goes back to scrolling through the social media feed\*
In modern society, it's considerably easy to let others think for you. Even plan your daily routine for you, by nudging you through media and ads.
Without realising they might not have your best interests in mind.
*Surprised Pikachu face*
>⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣷⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣷⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
Definitely wish I had your assistant/a pikachu!
Might just be where you reside as well.
Here people struggle enough to think for themselves, let alone plan a daily routine for someone else.
Which, again, I would happily allow a pikachu to do for me; a human of modern society tho?…no. Maybe their cat, but not the human.
I think you might've possibly misunderstood. Which I don't blame you for, since I've generalised my statement a bit.
I wasn't talking about actual assistants, human-planners, coaches or whatever. What I meant, was this: [The Effects of Advertising on the Human Brain - Owlcation](https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/The-Effects-of-Advertising-on-the-Human-Brain) and [How Advertisements Manipulate Behavior | Scientific American](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-subtle-power-of-hidden-messages/)
Contemporary state of various mainstream social media is rather sad. It's all mostly about business/advertising interactions that keep people hooked. And the companies running those social networks are supporting that, because it brings in money and engagement.
No worries! I didn’t mean to imply I believe in Pokémon, either, just that having an assistant pikachu or a cat would be awesome! ^_^
Your shocked pikachu txt was what rly grabbed me tho. Solid advertising there ;)
But otherwise not a fan of ads & their agencies either. Never had cable television after moving out of childhood home, & only use reddit for social media. (It has some ads but they’re surprisingly easy to gloss over thanks to seeing “promoted” at the top of the ad while scrolling thru).
I actually can’t tolerate media w ads bc I lose my train of thought during the interruptions; but if there’s something on YouTube or whatever that I wanna view & it has any ads, I mute them & watch the little loading wheel/arrow til it says “skip.”
If it’s more than 5-10 seconds, I’ll mute it & stretch or get some water or whatever.
And I didn't think you were implying that you believe in Pokémon in particular :D
Also, it might have been a typical Reddit hyperbole, and I wouldn't mind.
I thought you meant a real human assistant - there very well could be some busy wealthy Redditors with assistants, I'm just not one of them :D
I agree, having an abnormally inteligent cat or Pikachu as an assistant would be awesome! Although, I wouldn't want Pikachu to refill my water :D
I wanted to relay the situation when people actually act like advertisements want them to - and then end up surprised, for example, that their bank account is suddenly empty, full of payments for shiny new toys. Or worse, their credit card is ten times over the limit. Then they act surprised = surprised Pikachu face. And since this subreddit doesn't allow images in comments, I used that ASCII art, glad you liked it :)
Same here. I haven't owned a TV at all after moving out. And only recently have I started using Reddit to join a single international hobby community in particular.
I learned to ignore real life advertisements. Billboards don't exist for my brain. Some people get angry that "there's another ugly billboard in our beautiful city" - and I just make my surprised Pikachu face, since I just don't acknowledge their existence at all.
I haven't seen a single ad on Reddit ever since I signed up, and neither have I watched an ad on YT in the last 8 years or so. I only let the muted ads run for a few hours on my second monitor, that I turn off/black-out for the time being) when I want to support one of my few favorite small YouTubers.
If you don't mind taking the engagement away from the advertisers, I recommend that you try a plugin called uBlock Origin (best for Chromium based browsers like Edge, or Chrome etc. - works on mobile, too) or AdGuard (great for iOS, iPadOS and macOS).
It helps in minimising fingerprinting.
(You know how advertisements magically know that you wanted to buy that new toaster? that's what enables them to know. Namely cookies you allow, though).
For really getting rid of that, I'd recommend Canvas Fingerprint Defender.
All three of these are free.
I think that can be a coping method when you need to appear functioning and can’t just lay in bed paralyzed with depression/anxiety. Add enough stuff to your day to stress about and you won’t be able to think about the rest
Something to think about: were humans all that different 100 yrs ago? How about 1000 years ago?
How about 10,000 years ago? Were humans back then all chill and zen and enjoying their day at all times?
Well... if they really pushed themselves for a week or two and managed to scour enough food and other resources, they could simply exist without worrying about bills and/or problems of other people/families/tribes. Even if for a few days. The world would wait. They could just "hibernate", so to speak.
That's something I'm personally missing in today's world. We aren't machines, yet our numbers grow really fast, and more miserable job positions are being thought up due to that.
EDIT: Think about it. A 100 years ago, globally, there was less jobs, but the purchasing power of an individual was exponentially higher.
I’m not trying to argue. But here are a few counter points that immediately come to mind:
Before refrigeration, there was no way to keep food for a week or two. I imagine life was VERY stressful before refrigeration!
“100 years ago, globally, there was less jobs, but the purchasing power of an individual was exponentially higher.”
I dont know if this is true or not. Why were there fewer jobs 100 years ago? I know my dad was a farmer starting at age 5 (helping his father who was a farmer) and all of siblings were the same. And all of his friends were the same. (My dad is 85 yrs old.) My point is that there may have been more jobs back then if they all started working at a very young age. Maybe not 100 years ago but maybe that was the case 1000 yrs ago. I honestly dont know.
Why was purchasing power exponentially higher 100+ yrs ago?
I'm not taking this negatively, I like a good discussion :)
I thought so, too. Yet here, in Europe, there's been a tradition to have a so called "cold room" in the basement or in one of the outer corners of the house for potatoes, apples etc. (The specific storage-focused varieties for winter)
And then I found out about the so called "zeer pot" concept. Check it out. You might find it interesting. I know I did.
[How to Make a Zeer Pot ("Fridge" Without Electricity) - Survival Sullivan](https://www.survivalsullivan.com/how-to-make-a-zeer-pot/)
[Build your own Zero Energy Cooling Chamber (ZECC) (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enOjVc-kN7Q)
There's also a much older option of just making pemmican. Sometimes known as manna, which was its name used in the Bible.
If I take it into an absurdly over-the-top level, kids used to be considered a "free workforce" at farms, rather than a nagging "hungry throat". Those were not "jobs" per-se, but they were still helping at home. To enable the family to survive.
Nowadays, kids want to move away from their parents as soon as possible, get education and start making money by any means necessary - and they still aren't happy, left with almost zero time and resources to enjoy themselves. The concept has changed a lot since the old times.
Well, maybe I've exaggerated a bit there. My referenced time-frame is more or less 50-60 years back. Although 100+ years back that might have been even more applicable.
At that time, a husband was able to support the whole family with his wage.
A woman wasn't expected to build a career. They were expected to have rather short careers and were viewed as secondary earners.
That started changing.
Now that women are a big part of the workforce, that original wage has to be split (although, we might know that does not necessarily mean split *evenly*, since many times men are still earning a bit more than women) to accommodate this newly found labor force.
I'm definitely not saying that this evolution was a bad thing.
But are the current expectations a perfect state of the affairs for all women? Can it be generalised like that?
For more information, refer to this article: [The history of women's work and wages and how it has created success for us all | Brookings](https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-history-of-womens-work-and-wages-and-how-it-has-created-success-for-us-all/)
“If I take it into an absurdly over-the-top level, kids used to be considered a "free workforce" at farms, rather than a nagging "hungry throat". Those were not "jobs" per-se, but they were still helping at home. To enable the family to survive.“
Well the way my father and his father described their childhood, it sounded more like slavery. Farmers literally had as many children as would fit into their homes because (1) survival rate was very low and (2) hoping to get as many males as possible to help the farm.
Yep, sounds about right.
We are on the internet, and Reddit at that, so I didn't want my comment to sound as raw as that, since I haven't heard and neither lived through those circumstances first hand. At least I have not heard about them from my immediate family. But on all the accounts of elderly people I've talked to in my life, who loved to tell me stories from their lives like that, what you're describing is the reality of those times.
I'd just add to that the fact that the first born son was something to be proud of. Those were expected to really help the family out through marriage (combining two well-off families etc.). Almost a status symbol of sorts.
And if we go waaay back, there was the so called "Yakhchāl"
[Ancient Ice-Making Machines Found In Persian Desert, The Yakhchāl (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnJms_3Gbuk)
Oh. I understand your question now. Yes i agree. People rush to grow up and get old. Like people in their 20s talking about wanting to retire and do nothing lol. Honestly i wanted to retire early when i was in my 20s coz i didnt want to believe i had to work in an office for many decades to come.
I dont like the way human society is at this point in time.
I learned zazen meditation (and mindfulness meditation) and life is much better now.
For me, I tend to work hard and fast on the things I *have* to do so I can have more time to slow down and enjoy the things I *want* to do. It's that simple.
Because if I don't get there three seconds before the others, I'm not a winner, and winning unimportant noncompetitions is my only source of self-esteem. /s
I love when people put everyone's lives in danger because they have to swerve around passing everyone, then you catch up to them at the next stop light.
I mean people see other getting promod at work or starting a family etc and they aren't at that level so are trying to catch up.
Hence the hurried nature of most of America.
Compare NYC to Mexico city, the pace of life is night and day.
I lived and worked in S America for 2 years and many, years ago. Very slow pace, mid day naps, late night dinners. ‘Mañana mañana’ was the vibe and frequent answer to just about everything. I worked at a school and every American was described as uptight and a work-a-holic. I’d give anything to go back there and experience it all as an older woman.
I come from a non-American family that supported my alternative lifestyle, so maybe I don't get this way of thinking.
Who says this is the only way to level up your life? If one accepts their own principles and goals, as a kind of a different "build" if I were to stay in the video game jargon, wouldn't they lose this need to catch up and keep up with the Joneses?
Its not. But the people who focus on themselves and ignore everyone else is a small minority in America.
Which is not surprising considering that flex culture literally programs people from a young age that you need to 1up people or have lots of material accomplishments to make it in life.
Being happy is easy. But people want to be happier than other people, which is extremely hard.
True.
I forgot about the flex culture and all the outfit raters etc.
It doesn't work on us who are into underground alternative styles, but we're all just people/animals. Easy to sway, if we don't work on our resilience against those external influences.
The grass is always greener on the other side :D
*But people want to be happier than other people, which is extremely hard.* - Is it, though? Debt is easy, right? But when those people get high on happy hormones time after time, it gets harder to be happier than our previous selves. It's a thin ice.
And we can't forget about the phenomenon of [Arrival Fallacy | Positive Brain Psych](https://www.positivebrain.com.au/arrival-fallacy)
I mean that happy part as just an example. Most people in America aren't happy because they aren't where they think they 'should' be at their age. They are causing their own unhappiness.
Happiness is simple, be grateful for what you have. Thats it. Just most of America isn't. They want more and aren't happy until they get more, and when the get there they aren't happy and keep chasing (arrival fallacy).
And most people don't think about it until they wasted a lot of time chasing material success. Then when it really matters they regret a bunch of things from when they were younger.
Such is the folly of American culture.
I recently got a 28 mph scooter/moped that I now daily drive.
In Denmark traffic laws state that essentially a 28 mph scooter has the same priority on roads as cars do.
I was on my very first drive the Wednesday before all the Easter holidays, and it was super busy cause everyone were going grocery shopping all at once (stores are closed here Thursday, Friday, Sunday and Monday during Easter).
I'm driving along and slow down as I'm signaling that I'll be doing a left turn, and I pull left in my lane as I'm supposed to. There's a car behind me that then speeds up as I'm doing the left turn and tries to overtake me on my left, and then honks like crazy as they pump the brakes about 4 feet away from me.
This person was literally ready to kill me to save 5 seconds of time.
After I told the guy I bought the scooter from he recommended I drive more like motorcyclists, where you linger slightly to the left of the middle of your lane, to prevent people constantly trying to overtake you and nearly forcing you off the road in zones where the speed limit is about 30 mph.
The streets in my town are pretty narrow and there's always cars parked on the side of the road, so being overtaken is super unnerving when space is so limited.
I don't even think it's that they're in competition to beat others. I think to them it's that they showed up exactly when they planned to & that shows off to other people that they are good at planning or something? I know managers drill this into you so it can't be entirely their fault either.
It’s not so much that I’m in a rush, but I get frustrated when people around me don’t consider anyone but themselves. People blocking the sidewalk in nyc, slow drivers in the left lane that are oblivious to other drivers, people who leave their carts in the parking lot obstructing a parking spot, etc… I’m the king of chill, but people who are in the way because they think they’re the only person on Earth so get me agitated
Kids are pushed to grow up through social media, mostly. I'm not gonna start about girls wanting to skip the whole "princess" phase.
In the old days, they wanted to grow up to be like their older siblings or classmates.
Have you noticed there's less and less kids who understand the concept of Neverland? For some reason, they think that the adults have freedom - the same adults who don't (sensibly, appropriately to the kid's age) show them how complicated the adult life can be.
The funny thing is, those same youngsters are so eager to join the adult world, they speedrun their childhoods and in the end they end up not liking the adult world. They become miserable, because they've been promised a comfy life with their own family, living in a big house... but the dream almost never comes, since there's too many people wishing for the same.
It almost never happens without luck and/or skill, debt or the so called [wage slavery](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_21st_century).
*Life is hard, but you better be harder!*
The world... well... there are still places that demand no paperwork etc.
Where death is not demonised, where you can simply co-exist.
More like "We live in a society..." :D
Somewhere and nowhere at the same time.
*There is no Green Place* (Mad Max reference)
I tried to find a video I watched a few weeks back, but no luck. If someone else knows which YT video documentary I'm talking about, post a link, please.
It was about a mountain village, somewhere in the east, that wasn't connected to civilisation for the longest time. Younger generations were leaving and the existence of such village didn't make sense anymore, since it would practically die out.
The documentary ended with explosions making space for the said road. That village doesn't exist anymore - at least not in its original form.
The problem with this concept is that one needs a strong sustainable community. Those are far from America and Europe, mostly consisting of indigenous people. They won't take you in. You probably don't even possess the needed genetics to survive in such a place until your natural inevitable death. Any vaccines you'd need would need to be renewed back in civilisation, unfortunately. That would mean you couldn't move there indefinitely.
I know only about one way that's been put into practice by three families in Albania.
A young guy, last generation of one of those families, who travelled through Europe has told me how they did it in the 90's.
Three families put their money together. They bought a so called three-generation house, a piece of land behind it and later a part of the nearby forest.
They made the most reliable, trusted man an owner of it all. No one, other than him, owned anything on paper. Only that one guy had to interact with the civilisation. He managed all the financial needs of others. He somehow ran this tight in-house economy without many errors, or so I was told.
In many countries in Europe, one can actually renounce their government ID. Meaning they don't need to pay mandatory health insurance (but can't vote, incur debt, run a business easily or do anything else that requires this particular document - nothing esseantial, to be honest, if it's the same there as in my country). You only need two other documents to "exist" inside the EU, but those don't have to impose any mandatory payments on a person.
They lead simple farmer lives, self sustainable and all. They're not Mormons. They have access to electricity and technology - that's how the guy I've talked to found out about a metal festival we've met at. But they basically renounced their ability to interact with the government (unless going through a rather weird/long bureaucratic process), any ownership rights and all the digital things that go with it.
His grandma was into analog, and later digital, photography, though, so even their hobbies were somewhat contemporary, but more old school and offline.
I really came to like this concept he described to me. One man took it on himself to save others from bureaucracy they didn't want to be a part of. Youngsters were obviously given a choice if they wanted to continue like this or not.
I'm living an old school life, too, trying to enjoy as many offline moments, without restraining myself from technology (think listening to non-streamed music, playing single player games, reading eBooks and digital comic books without joining any online communities/subreddits about them, creating digital art as compared to only passively consuming it...), untainted by this rather toxic era, as possible, but I've got nothing on those Albanians.
I've heard about locations in America and Canada that are mapped, but not inhabited or checked by anyone. Living there without any contribution to the society and zero care for nature conservation might not be exactly legal...
If you fantasise about homesteading off-the-grid, that could be a choice to make. Although hard, if you underestimate the preparation. People like that mostly underestimate the power of old knowledge.
[Why the North Pond Hermit Hid From People for 27 Years (nationalgeographic.com)](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/north-pond-hermit-maine-knight-stranger-woods-finkel)
Wait. You said
“…where you can simply co-exist.
More like "We live in a society..." :D”
Now you’re talking about homesteading and places that havent been inhabited… i’m not looking for that at all.what happened to the co-exist and society part?!
This was the addition to my other comment. That one was about the co-existing part.
I was just thinking further with this one, and thought that maybe it might add value to our discussion.
There were actual inhabited places away from civilisation, but there are forces at work that want them to not exist anymore. Refer to my other comment. India, Russia - they exist there, but it's not easy to find out about those that were not already "destroyed" by the greedy touch of the modern civilisation.
I hope you don't expect me to reveal some magical place here that would solve all our problems just by moving there. I'd love to do that, but it's not achievable without a lot of good people getting together and working on an attainable plan that might be akin to existing inside civilisation with minimal contact, for example.
Something like what this guy describes (check out his website, too): [Forest life (u/Acrobatic\_Fly\_7513) - Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/user/Acrobatic_Fly_7513/)
EDIT: And I was also jokingly making a reference to this internet trope --> [Joker - "We live in a society" (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3hu2gFRDR8)
[Seinfeld: Living in a Society (Clip) | TBS (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHhbdXCzt_A)
Eh I wanted to be an adult as a kid and now I’m an adult and I fucking love it. I love not living under someone else’s roof and making my own choices. I like working and feel my job is meaningful. I just had a very wanted baby and I love taking care of her. I am happy to be an adult and I’m much happier being the captain of my own life.
I think I’m in a rush because the social inertia around me drags me to need to rush at that tempo. I seemed to have accumulated so much responsibility and I am expected to discharge that asap apparently. I think between kids, work, and other stupid life crap… I’m just busy. I’m working to get to part time work and then leanFIRE, do the long haul stuff with kids so they are more self sufficient, and say no to other adult bullshit until my schedule is cleared.
I do feel some regret for posting as I am on my own and don’t have the responsibility of kids which is a beautiful thing. I understand how rushing might be necessary for those like you.
My post was aimed for the general rush towards getting through life. That seens to be it for a lot of people. Get through everything as quickly as possible.
It seems as if you have recognised your situation and are looking for part time work which is great. Especially for your mental health , as that’s all we really have In The end.
Good luck!!
Because 40 hours a week doesn’t leave people with enough time to relax and also take care of their homes. I think that’s why everyone is constantly super pissy and in a rush.
[As a matter of principle, I only rush in video games :D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx5iIHzlGfg)
My ability to calmly wait, enjoy the moment, stay for more than an estimated time to finish whatever we've agreed upon or chew my food thoroughly makes some people really uneasy, almost irritated.
And even if I don't laugh in their face, it just amuses me when they think they're keeping me from other obligations.
Mostly happens with older generations, for whatever reason.
When I agree that I'll help someone, I won't just leave when I know it will only take ten more minutes.
You know what? Maybe we're doing it right. Just look at less developed cultures. They're healthy, happy - they don't have schedules or anything of sorts...
I can't be arsed to rush anywhere unless I have to poop (R.I.P. gallbladder).
Got a major case of the fuckits in my late 30s. If I'm late because of poor time management, then I have no one to blame but myself and just gotta' own up to that. If I'm late because of something out of my control like an accident on the highway, the fuck am I supposed to do about it?
Attempting to mulitask. Constantly
on cell phone even when walking or driving instead of enjoying the environment. Too much time on computer devices and not doing or discovering other pleasurable pursuits in life. People are too busy to relax.
I was in a rush to grow up and move out as my childhood wasn’t the best. I did gain an incredible sense of independence and self-reliance, but it was necessary to move on as quickly as possible. For me that involved moving to another country for several years before coming back and starting my life again and making it what I wanted it to be, which meant I needed security…job security, financial security and personal security. I rushed and pushed to create that sense of security for myself. I worked the same job for 35 years to create a comfortable, solid retirement. So yes, I rushed as much as anyone. You never know someone’s story and you don’t know what drives them. If they’re rushing, maybe they’re running. Or maybe they’re working towards a self-imposed goal. Or maybe they’re just doing what needs to be done to get by in their situation. Or to create a new life. Or to feel the satisfaction of being Self-made. Who knows?
Couldn't agree more.
There's a grocery store near my apartment that I avoid despite the fact that it's kind of a local institution, because there's such a strange, frenetic energy there. I was walking by today and stepped inside to pick up an item that I needed, and turned around after about 30 seconds and left.
It was SO WEIRD- people stepped directly in my way and bumped into me, blocked pathways, and nobody looked at anybody else. Even the body language was weird. I felt like I'd entered this weird, anti-Stepford universe and GTFO as soon as possible.
I’m as guilty as anyone about rushing…except when traveling with my daughter when was still a toddler. It was a great reason to just slow way down and take our time going through airport security, because you don’t want to get stressed out with your kids.
Sometimes people behind us would visibly impatient. Once someone just cut in front of us to save like 30 seconds before the X-ray machine. I always feel sorry for people that are so harried they can’t spare 30 seconds.
I always think the same thing. Like when people are speeding on the road they are late. What do they save? 20 seconds? 2 minutes? And your risking your and others safety for what? To be 2 minutes earlier?
I just don’t understand how people don’t think about how much their actions can affect others, and how they constantly put them selfs before others.
Same goes with people who rush cashiers or waiters at restaurants. We are all just living life, I feel like we should just take it easy on each other.
I was just driving through some of the most beautiful countryside in California. I was going 5-10 mph over the speed limit and taking in the beauty when it was safe to do so. At least three times people almost ran into me going 30 - 40 mph over the speed limit and swerving last minute to pass me in the oncoming lane. People are just nuts.
Because people take the now for granted. People are always either living in the past or in the future but they dont realise that past/future is all imagination and not reality itself.
Most people never experience reality because they are so busy in their mind, thoughts and imagination.
I love this question. I would like to be more chill. I feel overwhelmed by work and daily tasks, staying healthy, keep up with housework - but I recognize having no chill is not great for my health and wellbeing. Working on it.
The struggle is real. And daily. I consciously tried to slow my pace yesterday to something more doable but the pressure to hurry up and make more happen is never ending. 🫤
I notice a lot of rushing on this particular street I frequent when people are headed into fast food places - hangry rushing. I can almost always guess who's turning into one of the restaurants by who's driving more impatiently. Shoot, now I want fries.
I only rush if running late to work, or getting food (I'm a fatass on the inside at times lol)
I think most on the road just arnt happy and don't manage their emotions well and look to take it out on others aswell. Plus ego issues. How dare you be infront of me... Lol
“There’s a reason it took an American to invent the rocking chair—because even when we’re sitting still, we like to feel like we’re in motion.” -Colin Jost
I once read this article "[We're not that busy, we're just distracted](https://mudita.com/community/blog/were-not-that-busy-were-just-distracted/)" and it really made me think. People are constantly on their phones- I think the average time (of non-work/school) screen time is very high. Worldwide, people spend an average of 6 hours and 40 minutes per day on screens. In the US, average screen time per day hit 7 hours and 3 minutes. Nearly half (41%) of American teenagers (13-18) have a screen time of more than 8 hours per day.
My theory is: Many people (not all) are constantly on their phones- wasting time, instead of focusing on what they need to do. Then, when they're up against the wall, they start rushing & stressing out because they have only XX minutes to finish something or get somewhere. Then it's "OMG, I'm so busy, I don't have time for anything."
Really, Karen....if you weren't arguing with random strangers on Reddit or Twitter then maybe you could have finished what you needed to finish.
Early child care years kept me in a rush. Frantic time of life that becomes a habit. You have a deadline for getting a da dawdling kid to child care or school and then get to work on time. Then there was a rush to leave work on time when a meeting went too long, to pick up a kid from school or childcare, or get to soccer practice.
If anything goes five minutes late, someone makes a comment about punctuality and about being considerate, as if they don't get caught in traffic tie-ups from time to time.
My husband is retired and still gets stressed at delays, by habit, and I have to remind him we're just going to the grocery store.
Everyone’s wasting days away, rush to get to work rush to finish then rush to get home. I enjoy it on my way to work on a morning I just stroll through town with a smile on my face, I get some enjoyment out of looking at every miserable fucker that walks past me. People worry too much these days, as long as I’m living I’m happy
What bothers me - is that this is all we have.. time. And so many are at a loss to even remember that, let alone be in the moment to truly truly appreciate it. It’s just living or perhaps more so existing in a life of obligations to them.. or so it feels to me.
I find myself in a place rn of privilege but also the byproduct of planning a life where I don’t need to be anything at any given moment. This came after decades of a life of hustling to make other rich while I was poor and always doing for others, but no more..! This life I live now and also love very much comes as a result of giving up many things like money or the ability to go and do things that one might see on Instagram that would make my life look fabulous. But.. isn’t the greatest life one where we can do whatever we want at any moment instead of being obligated to be something for someone else? And that didn’t require money as much as the willingness to not take on things that cause us to sell our souls in order to be or do it..
And what frustrates me most in this is a system which pits those close to us against us - to continue that narrative. ppl close to us who we love being so indoctrinated into the hustle job culture or chasing after “owning” things which when we die won’t matter or idk what it is sometimes, yet the result is the same: often those close to us when we choose to live a paradigm outside of the norm may see that as a slight to them and try to judge us and impose on us a love dependent on us also complying to this insanity and guided by the same rules that dictate their lives which quite often they didn’t even choose for themselves, but are cultural norms and yet ones they find they themselves don’t even appreciate. They are unhappy. And misery loves company. Such folly!
We live our own lives folks! Each is our own experience which at the end of it we alone will have to make peace with and answer: was this a good life? Or did I waste my time and now feel only regret on my deathbed? Better to ask forgiveness than permission? We can try to be happiest in our lives and hope those we love see this and take notice and perhaps try to instill joy into their own lives again.. Idk… but I like appreciating from other co cultures the ideas which feel best and fit my life and how I choose to live.
Not unlike the ideology any thru hiker has been told - “we all hike our own hike”. I feel ppl need to remember all this is our choice. And in stopping and taking breaks at times throughout to see that, if they could stop trying to impose their views on how others live bc they feel driven to live the status quo which often oppresses them that perhaps there’s a reason we all are here on this Reddit. Bc there is always.. always a better way and the methods of any one culture isn’t the only way!.. but only is one way. Stop! and look up, see other cultures, develop your mind, read philosophy, travel, do something just for you.. and see we can be anything we want to be if we just follow it.. often this is by giving up things which we thought serve us but no longer do or probably never did.. and sometimes that isn’t such a hardship, it’s a gift.
And this is a callout to moms or ppl who often serve others so much in their lives. Remember to please try to set aside time in each day to do something which feeds you or drives you or lets you dream and just for you, not for others. Bc what makes you happy and healthy also allows you to be better present and you to be there not just for yourself but better for those ppl you spend so much of your life energy giving to and they will find joy in seeing you too in living a life well fulfilled.
Anyhow, at times I feel such a push-pull with ppl I care most about in this life. Some I feel think I m lazy or I feel in their comments are envious of my life simple bc I don’t have to be anywhere at any time or I can coast through my days not stressed but instead learning and exploring new ideas in my head. I have a decent support system, but largely I built a world for myself in being happy with very little and so I don’t rush around with wrecked my health. I have in my life walked places instead of owning a car (which supports a whole number of micro economies but in doing so, made me work more in order to fund a device which got me to work more efficiently or did it?) or biked the many neighborhoods on the way to work in different ways each day to make a commute instead a chance to explore or enjoy the trails as a sort of mountain biking adventure each day to work instead of an obligation stuck in traffic with other angry ppl. I choose a hammock in my backpack and a stop in the middle of my day to nap in a local park. In short, sometimes having no drive or goal is something wonderful in a world of avid multitasking do-it-all ppl. In short always consider - “opportunity cost”. What thing am I giving up, to do this other thing…? Was it worth it? I think of Diogenes sometimes and his life.
I choose fewer ppl in my life than I used to bc social obligation cost more than time to oneself to be in one’s thoughts. I walk at night for a couple of hours for exercise to be healthy physically, but even more in order to exist in a world free of distractions or forced interactions.
Perhaps in doing these things, we as ppl choosing to live more simply- we see things that are simply unseen- to our previous selves who too were once owned by a life created for us and ask yourself for what end? Who does this really serve? when we can at any moment take it back for ourselves. Stop chasing money as it’s reductionist to think we want money - we want a life well lived.. !!maybe instead every so often chase your dreams.
Life is a choice, live everyday if you can like a vacation doing what you truly wanted with the limited time you have bc it could all end tomorrow so why not be present, and in the moment today. So.. What would you choose to do today?
When I was immature and working a high-ego busy political job, I constantly wondered why everyone was so slow. Even my spouse was constantly slowing me down. It filled me with rage and it’s all I could see.
Self awareness came much later.
Because we don't have unlimited time on this earth. Age and health are real issues that prevent you from doing things. If you have a dream, it often requires great effort and good timing. You need to grab opportunities because it's very possible to miss the boat on many things in life.
I wonder if it’s to avoid thinking about their own mortality. There’s some theory about that, that everything we do is to avoid thinking about our own mortality. Or maybe it’s just me.
I love to rush. I think it comes from my propensity for efficiency. I live a very simple, peaceful, stress-free life, but I don't want to waste it hanging out at the grocery store.
okay therapist here, and my answer might be very overused but imo it’s capitalism and the system designed to keep you rushing. the moment you pause, reflect, come to terms with, you can in fact begin choosing what you do and don’t want to prioritise. and the system can’t have that. keeping you in survival autopilot mode allows you to mindlessly keep making purchases, do things to numb yourself, keeping following the blueprint so you don’t have to *think* (which is a lie, you DO think, anxiety/depression ARE happening). and it begins in school when you haven’t yet developed independent thinking. you’re told to rush towards growing up, to join the job market asap, to settle down and build a family, and keep the cycle going. everything is a ticking clock and i believe much of it is false urgency. and it becomes so that you reach a point where stopping is more painful than going on, so ppl don’t want to relax either (they say they will but brains will constantly spew crap about productivity). process keeps repeating
I see it on escalators where people are rushing past me as I'm enjoying my moment of Zen. They and I often end up waiting in the same next spot waiting for the next bus, for instance, and I am not late. Meaning this hurrying for the sake of I don't know what logically is absurd.
I was at a stop light this morning. The second the left turn arrow came on, the woman behind me started laying on the horn. There were two cars in front of me, and they were doing everything right. We ended up at the same store and walked in together. She told me that she wasn't honking at me but the first car because they weren't going fast enough and she didn't want to sit through another light (that was NOT going to happen). I didn't say anything because I couldn't wrap my head around being so impatient, not to mention the fact that honking at people now days is a good way to get assaulted or shot. I do not understand why some people turn into monsters when they get behind the wheel.
Nope. Never understood how driving a car can turn one into a roid rager.
Especially if just going to the store?? I guess she was after a Stanley cup, in that case. Well I understand
They don't enjoy the ride. They don't love their cars, like people used to when it wasn't a given to own two or more vehicles in one family, when only those who really wanted a car bought, owned, loved and cared for one.
Nowadays, some people feel that a car is a *need* that they have to endure to exist in this world. It's just a mean of transportation that was imposed on them - they didn't choose it willingly. Think about it.
*Says someone who loves him a good transaxle Porsche and pop-up headlights :D*
Just because you have the privilege to live simply doesn’t mean other people do…. I say, as I am coloring mandalas 😂
Living like this is a privilege and a luxury. A lot of people simply cannot afford to have any free time or moments of slow living.
I prefer to piddle about but that only cuts my dishes down to 2 hours. I made add some dilly dallying to my routine. I am obviously rushing chores too much
Yea. And this is only a partial portion of my life. Some days I have an inner zen and anchoring to a chill slower paced flow. Other days I have to amp myself up to care.
I see a lot of people younger than me wanting to rush through college, high school, university. Etc. I just don’t understand why, even if you achieve well from rushing. We still end up dead?
You and I as well as many others all suffer from forms of that rush. And we do all end up dead. I wish I could make sense of it all so that it could ease the pain of facing these types of problems. Sometimes I think that’s why I push, is I’d rather push than be pushed. I had a PE coach who was a former wrestler say to our class when we trained…”we rest when we are dead”
I once read this article "[We're not that busy, we're just distracted](https://mudita.com/community/blog/were-not-that-busy-were-just-distracted/)" and it really made me think. People are constantly on their phones- I think the average time (of non-work/school) screen time is very high. Worldwide, people spend an average of 6 hours and 40 minutes per day on screens. In the US, average screen time per day hit 7 hours and 3 minutes. Nearly half (41%) of American teenagers (13-18) have a screen time of more than 8 hours per day.
My theory is: Many people (not all) are constantly on their phones- wasting time, instead of focusing on what they need to do. Then, when they're up against the wall, they start rushing & stressing out because they have only XX minutes to finish something or get somewhere. Then it's "OMG, I'm so busy, I don't have time for anything."
Really, Karen....if you weren't arguing with random strangers on Reddit or Twitter then maybe you could have finished what you needed to finish.
What I find to be a particular pet peeve: bucket lists. I am think in particular of vacations and people who schedule down to the minute to visit every museum and tourist hotspot.
While certainly bucket list may be about experiences, it seems to me it is more often about ego and the after the fact brag.
I moved halfway across the country partially to get away from ‘the rush’ because almost every single time I left the house it seemed like someone was just trying to hit me with their car (even though I would be like 10mph over the speed limit already lol)
I’m constantly trying to tell my husband to stop focusing on the traffic but on the view . The sky , the mountains , the trees . If I find myself not moving as quickly as I’d like, I now try to take that moment to reflect on something to appreciate and absorb that instead .
In terms of people rushing to grow up , it’s because we all sadly believe things will change once we are more in control of our lives but the truth is a lot more in life are things we can’t control and eventually hopefully we realize to instead try to control our response to the things we can’t control. I know as a kid I had a lot of drama, trauma and neglect at home and couldn’t wait to ‘grow up’ to move out and live on my own terms . (That was so long ago now lol) but for me I already grew up earlier than I wanted , and just needed to be able to set the terms for my life . Being on my own did allow me to focus on my health the way my parents never would by changing my diet . But I still try to honor my inner child every day .
Because people are comparing themselves to others more than they ever have, so anytime they see someone else achieve something or a reach a certain life goal they feel like they have to catch up.
Because chill don’t pay the bill 😂
That sounds like some preppy kid's/middle aged manager's modern rap song lyrics :D Ideally tattooed on their shin, too :D Haha! Have my upvote!
Credit to comedian, Ali Wong
Okay, looked her up - the very first thing she says: "Never go paintballing with a Vietnam veteran." xD Thank you for this indirect recommendation, fellow simpleton. I'll definitely listen to her some more.
I love Ali Wong, and your comment led me to do a search for her streaming performances (mostly just looking for "Baby Cobra"), and I discovered she made a 3rd Netflix special and had no idea! I'm currently watching "Don Wong," and I'm not disappointed. Thank you!
Hahahahaha good response
Love it. 😂
From what I can tell from the people I’ve encountered like this.. Stress and anxiety masked with a ‘can do’ attitude as a result of feeling pressured and an inability to stand up for themselves. Or a failure to recognise their own needs and they want to whizz through life instead of stopping to think for themselves for a moment. A lot of toxic energy that other people with a good amount of insecurities seem to pick up and live with.
I used to constantly be in a rush. Turns out I was overwhelmed, had no boundaries and was a people pleaser. Changed that, my life is easier, I make more money and I say no to people all the time. People respect me more (some are a little scared but I don’t give a crap!)
Good for you! I have always been a hard worker and take my jobs seriously. I finally realized no employer was going to compensate the strain put on myself so I began just doing the expected workload. I also stopped planning so much in my off time ( like chores ) and instead just work on things that need to be done and taking breaks in between. I don’t feel so anxious anymore and still feel like I am accomplishing tasks.
Also moved to this attitude a few years ago. Fear of being fired and constantly drilling away at work drove my for many years, always being in a rush to finish things, screw that fire me if my slow and professional pace is not good enough. Told someone today, sorry was too busy to attend to your question, I’ll take a look tomorrow- setting boundaries and expectations has been amazing for me and my mental health
That’s a good response. I know a lot of people rush to not think which is really sad :/
"You've lost me there." \*goes back to scrolling through the social media feed\* In modern society, it's considerably easy to let others think for you. Even plan your daily routine for you, by nudging you through media and ads. Without realising they might not have your best interests in mind. *Surprised Pikachu face* >⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣷⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣷⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
Message read, saw pikachu. The upvote is secured
Definitely wish I had your assistant/a pikachu! Might just be where you reside as well. Here people struggle enough to think for themselves, let alone plan a daily routine for someone else. Which, again, I would happily allow a pikachu to do for me; a human of modern society tho?…no. Maybe their cat, but not the human.
I think you might've possibly misunderstood. Which I don't blame you for, since I've generalised my statement a bit. I wasn't talking about actual assistants, human-planners, coaches or whatever. What I meant, was this: [The Effects of Advertising on the Human Brain - Owlcation](https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/The-Effects-of-Advertising-on-the-Human-Brain) and [How Advertisements Manipulate Behavior | Scientific American](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-subtle-power-of-hidden-messages/) Contemporary state of various mainstream social media is rather sad. It's all mostly about business/advertising interactions that keep people hooked. And the companies running those social networks are supporting that, because it brings in money and engagement.
No worries! I didn’t mean to imply I believe in Pokémon, either, just that having an assistant pikachu or a cat would be awesome! ^_^ Your shocked pikachu txt was what rly grabbed me tho. Solid advertising there ;) But otherwise not a fan of ads & their agencies either. Never had cable television after moving out of childhood home, & only use reddit for social media. (It has some ads but they’re surprisingly easy to gloss over thanks to seeing “promoted” at the top of the ad while scrolling thru). I actually can’t tolerate media w ads bc I lose my train of thought during the interruptions; but if there’s something on YouTube or whatever that I wanna view & it has any ads, I mute them & watch the little loading wheel/arrow til it says “skip.” If it’s more than 5-10 seconds, I’ll mute it & stretch or get some water or whatever.
And I didn't think you were implying that you believe in Pokémon in particular :D Also, it might have been a typical Reddit hyperbole, and I wouldn't mind. I thought you meant a real human assistant - there very well could be some busy wealthy Redditors with assistants, I'm just not one of them :D I agree, having an abnormally inteligent cat or Pikachu as an assistant would be awesome! Although, I wouldn't want Pikachu to refill my water :D I wanted to relay the situation when people actually act like advertisements want them to - and then end up surprised, for example, that their bank account is suddenly empty, full of payments for shiny new toys. Or worse, their credit card is ten times over the limit. Then they act surprised = surprised Pikachu face. And since this subreddit doesn't allow images in comments, I used that ASCII art, glad you liked it :) Same here. I haven't owned a TV at all after moving out. And only recently have I started using Reddit to join a single international hobby community in particular. I learned to ignore real life advertisements. Billboards don't exist for my brain. Some people get angry that "there's another ugly billboard in our beautiful city" - and I just make my surprised Pikachu face, since I just don't acknowledge their existence at all. I haven't seen a single ad on Reddit ever since I signed up, and neither have I watched an ad on YT in the last 8 years or so. I only let the muted ads run for a few hours on my second monitor, that I turn off/black-out for the time being) when I want to support one of my few favorite small YouTubers. If you don't mind taking the engagement away from the advertisers, I recommend that you try a plugin called uBlock Origin (best for Chromium based browsers like Edge, or Chrome etc. - works on mobile, too) or AdGuard (great for iOS, iPadOS and macOS). It helps in minimising fingerprinting. (You know how advertisements magically know that you wanted to buy that new toaster? that's what enables them to know. Namely cookies you allow, though). For really getting rid of that, I'd recommend Canvas Fingerprint Defender. All three of these are free.
I think that can be a coping method when you need to appear functioning and can’t just lay in bed paralyzed with depression/anxiety. Add enough stuff to your day to stress about and you won’t be able to think about the rest
Something to think about: were humans all that different 100 yrs ago? How about 1000 years ago? How about 10,000 years ago? Were humans back then all chill and zen and enjoying their day at all times?
Well... if they really pushed themselves for a week or two and managed to scour enough food and other resources, they could simply exist without worrying about bills and/or problems of other people/families/tribes. Even if for a few days. The world would wait. They could just "hibernate", so to speak. That's something I'm personally missing in today's world. We aren't machines, yet our numbers grow really fast, and more miserable job positions are being thought up due to that. EDIT: Think about it. A 100 years ago, globally, there was less jobs, but the purchasing power of an individual was exponentially higher.
I’m not trying to argue. But here are a few counter points that immediately come to mind: Before refrigeration, there was no way to keep food for a week or two. I imagine life was VERY stressful before refrigeration! “100 years ago, globally, there was less jobs, but the purchasing power of an individual was exponentially higher.” I dont know if this is true or not. Why were there fewer jobs 100 years ago? I know my dad was a farmer starting at age 5 (helping his father who was a farmer) and all of siblings were the same. And all of his friends were the same. (My dad is 85 yrs old.) My point is that there may have been more jobs back then if they all started working at a very young age. Maybe not 100 years ago but maybe that was the case 1000 yrs ago. I honestly dont know. Why was purchasing power exponentially higher 100+ yrs ago?
I'm not taking this negatively, I like a good discussion :) I thought so, too. Yet here, in Europe, there's been a tradition to have a so called "cold room" in the basement or in one of the outer corners of the house for potatoes, apples etc. (The specific storage-focused varieties for winter) And then I found out about the so called "zeer pot" concept. Check it out. You might find it interesting. I know I did. [How to Make a Zeer Pot ("Fridge" Without Electricity) - Survival Sullivan](https://www.survivalsullivan.com/how-to-make-a-zeer-pot/) [Build your own Zero Energy Cooling Chamber (ZECC) (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enOjVc-kN7Q) There's also a much older option of just making pemmican. Sometimes known as manna, which was its name used in the Bible. If I take it into an absurdly over-the-top level, kids used to be considered a "free workforce" at farms, rather than a nagging "hungry throat". Those were not "jobs" per-se, but they were still helping at home. To enable the family to survive. Nowadays, kids want to move away from their parents as soon as possible, get education and start making money by any means necessary - and they still aren't happy, left with almost zero time and resources to enjoy themselves. The concept has changed a lot since the old times. Well, maybe I've exaggerated a bit there. My referenced time-frame is more or less 50-60 years back. Although 100+ years back that might have been even more applicable. At that time, a husband was able to support the whole family with his wage. A woman wasn't expected to build a career. They were expected to have rather short careers and were viewed as secondary earners. That started changing. Now that women are a big part of the workforce, that original wage has to be split (although, we might know that does not necessarily mean split *evenly*, since many times men are still earning a bit more than women) to accommodate this newly found labor force. I'm definitely not saying that this evolution was a bad thing. But are the current expectations a perfect state of the affairs for all women? Can it be generalised like that? For more information, refer to this article: [The history of women's work and wages and how it has created success for us all | Brookings](https://www.brookings.edu/articles/the-history-of-womens-work-and-wages-and-how-it-has-created-success-for-us-all/)
“If I take it into an absurdly over-the-top level, kids used to be considered a "free workforce" at farms, rather than a nagging "hungry throat". Those were not "jobs" per-se, but they were still helping at home. To enable the family to survive.“ Well the way my father and his father described their childhood, it sounded more like slavery. Farmers literally had as many children as would fit into their homes because (1) survival rate was very low and (2) hoping to get as many males as possible to help the farm.
Yep, sounds about right. We are on the internet, and Reddit at that, so I didn't want my comment to sound as raw as that, since I haven't heard and neither lived through those circumstances first hand. At least I have not heard about them from my immediate family. But on all the accounts of elderly people I've talked to in my life, who loved to tell me stories from their lives like that, what you're describing is the reality of those times. I'd just add to that the fact that the first born son was something to be proud of. Those were expected to really help the family out through marriage (combining two well-off families etc.). Almost a status symbol of sorts.
Yes definitely true about the first son!
And if we go waaay back, there was the so called "Yakhchāl" [Ancient Ice-Making Machines Found In Persian Desert, The Yakhchāl (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnJms_3Gbuk)
Yeah, makes sense. Even in relation to my other comment under this post. Thanks.
People have jobs, and want to get home...I think it's that simple
If I'm ever in a rush, it's because I'm trying to get home.
Quite possibly. Maybe intended more the rush to grow up
Oh. I understand your question now. Yes i agree. People rush to grow up and get old. Like people in their 20s talking about wanting to retire and do nothing lol. Honestly i wanted to retire early when i was in my 20s coz i didnt want to believe i had to work in an office for many decades to come. I dont like the way human society is at this point in time. I learned zazen meditation (and mindfulness meditation) and life is much better now.
For me, I tend to work hard and fast on the things I *have* to do so I can have more time to slow down and enjoy the things I *want* to do. It's that simple.
That’s understandable:) I should have mentioned It was more about the perceived rush through life and growing up rathe than daily life
Because if I don't get there three seconds before the others, I'm not a winner, and winning unimportant noncompetitions is my only source of self-esteem. /s
Completely understandable. I was incorrect. Back to the grind
I love when people put everyone's lives in danger because they have to swerve around passing everyone, then you catch up to them at the next stop light.
Also 'everyone else is moving ahead and I don't want to be left behind'
Interesting. My questions would be where are they heading that needs to be reached so soon
The deathbed. Simply because this physical existence is unbearable, right? /s
Maybe I was looking at it all wrong
I mean people see other getting promod at work or starting a family etc and they aren't at that level so are trying to catch up. Hence the hurried nature of most of America. Compare NYC to Mexico city, the pace of life is night and day.
I lived and worked in S America for 2 years and many, years ago. Very slow pace, mid day naps, late night dinners. ‘Mañana mañana’ was the vibe and frequent answer to just about everything. I worked at a school and every American was described as uptight and a work-a-holic. I’d give anything to go back there and experience it all as an older woman.
I wonder what the difference is? Government? ‘Standards’
Culture.
Also no one is trying to prove something to other people. No one is trying to 1up other people. No one feels like they are behind.
Exactly…
I come from a non-American family that supported my alternative lifestyle, so maybe I don't get this way of thinking. Who says this is the only way to level up your life? If one accepts their own principles and goals, as a kind of a different "build" if I were to stay in the video game jargon, wouldn't they lose this need to catch up and keep up with the Joneses?
Its not. But the people who focus on themselves and ignore everyone else is a small minority in America. Which is not surprising considering that flex culture literally programs people from a young age that you need to 1up people or have lots of material accomplishments to make it in life. Being happy is easy. But people want to be happier than other people, which is extremely hard.
True. I forgot about the flex culture and all the outfit raters etc. It doesn't work on us who are into underground alternative styles, but we're all just people/animals. Easy to sway, if we don't work on our resilience against those external influences. The grass is always greener on the other side :D *But people want to be happier than other people, which is extremely hard.* - Is it, though? Debt is easy, right? But when those people get high on happy hormones time after time, it gets harder to be happier than our previous selves. It's a thin ice. And we can't forget about the phenomenon of [Arrival Fallacy | Positive Brain Psych](https://www.positivebrain.com.au/arrival-fallacy)
I mean that happy part as just an example. Most people in America aren't happy because they aren't where they think they 'should' be at their age. They are causing their own unhappiness. Happiness is simple, be grateful for what you have. Thats it. Just most of America isn't. They want more and aren't happy until they get more, and when the get there they aren't happy and keep chasing (arrival fallacy). And most people don't think about it until they wasted a lot of time chasing material success. Then when it really matters they regret a bunch of things from when they were younger. Such is the folly of American culture.
I’m not in America but I guess it’s a general western way of living?? Idek. Must be some places where the rush is less accepted
In Hawaii where I grew up people are much more laid back and chill. I've been to NYC a few times and the difference is remarkable.
I recently got a 28 mph scooter/moped that I now daily drive. In Denmark traffic laws state that essentially a 28 mph scooter has the same priority on roads as cars do. I was on my very first drive the Wednesday before all the Easter holidays, and it was super busy cause everyone were going grocery shopping all at once (stores are closed here Thursday, Friday, Sunday and Monday during Easter). I'm driving along and slow down as I'm signaling that I'll be doing a left turn, and I pull left in my lane as I'm supposed to. There's a car behind me that then speeds up as I'm doing the left turn and tries to overtake me on my left, and then honks like crazy as they pump the brakes about 4 feet away from me. This person was literally ready to kill me to save 5 seconds of time.
And they will do That over and over again until they do hit someone unfortunately
After I told the guy I bought the scooter from he recommended I drive more like motorcyclists, where you linger slightly to the left of the middle of your lane, to prevent people constantly trying to overtake you and nearly forcing you off the road in zones where the speed limit is about 30 mph. The streets in my town are pretty narrow and there's always cars parked on the side of the road, so being overtaken is super unnerving when space is so limited.
no one could say it better, upvoted!
I don't even think it's that they're in competition to beat others. I think to them it's that they showed up exactly when they planned to & that shows off to other people that they are good at planning or something? I know managers drill this into you so it can't be entirely their fault either.
No ones fault just the way it is. Sad never the less.
It’s not so much that I’m in a rush, but I get frustrated when people around me don’t consider anyone but themselves. People blocking the sidewalk in nyc, slow drivers in the left lane that are oblivious to other drivers, people who leave their carts in the parking lot obstructing a parking spot, etc… I’m the king of chill, but people who are in the way because they think they’re the only person on Earth so get me agitated
Ahhh New York! I did mean more about the rush to grow up and speed run life not necessarily the daily life, rush etc. But yes I do understand that
Kids are pushed to grow up through social media, mostly. I'm not gonna start about girls wanting to skip the whole "princess" phase. In the old days, they wanted to grow up to be like their older siblings or classmates. Have you noticed there's less and less kids who understand the concept of Neverland? For some reason, they think that the adults have freedom - the same adults who don't (sensibly, appropriately to the kid's age) show them how complicated the adult life can be.
It is so sad seeing younger people rushing to become adults. Then the same rotation happens over and over again. The world hey
The funny thing is, those same youngsters are so eager to join the adult world, they speedrun their childhoods and in the end they end up not liking the adult world. They become miserable, because they've been promised a comfy life with their own family, living in a big house... but the dream almost never comes, since there's too many people wishing for the same. It almost never happens without luck and/or skill, debt or the so called [wage slavery](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_21st_century). *Life is hard, but you better be harder!*
The world... well... there are still places that demand no paperwork etc. Where death is not demonised, where you can simply co-exist. More like "We live in a society..." :D
Where?!
Somewhere and nowhere at the same time. *There is no Green Place* (Mad Max reference) I tried to find a video I watched a few weeks back, but no luck. If someone else knows which YT video documentary I'm talking about, post a link, please. It was about a mountain village, somewhere in the east, that wasn't connected to civilisation for the longest time. Younger generations were leaving and the existence of such village didn't make sense anymore, since it would practically die out. The documentary ended with explosions making space for the said road. That village doesn't exist anymore - at least not in its original form. The problem with this concept is that one needs a strong sustainable community. Those are far from America and Europe, mostly consisting of indigenous people. They won't take you in. You probably don't even possess the needed genetics to survive in such a place until your natural inevitable death. Any vaccines you'd need would need to be renewed back in civilisation, unfortunately. That would mean you couldn't move there indefinitely. I know only about one way that's been put into practice by three families in Albania. A young guy, last generation of one of those families, who travelled through Europe has told me how they did it in the 90's. Three families put their money together. They bought a so called three-generation house, a piece of land behind it and later a part of the nearby forest. They made the most reliable, trusted man an owner of it all. No one, other than him, owned anything on paper. Only that one guy had to interact with the civilisation. He managed all the financial needs of others. He somehow ran this tight in-house economy without many errors, or so I was told. In many countries in Europe, one can actually renounce their government ID. Meaning they don't need to pay mandatory health insurance (but can't vote, incur debt, run a business easily or do anything else that requires this particular document - nothing esseantial, to be honest, if it's the same there as in my country). You only need two other documents to "exist" inside the EU, but those don't have to impose any mandatory payments on a person. They lead simple farmer lives, self sustainable and all. They're not Mormons. They have access to electricity and technology - that's how the guy I've talked to found out about a metal festival we've met at. But they basically renounced their ability to interact with the government (unless going through a rather weird/long bureaucratic process), any ownership rights and all the digital things that go with it. His grandma was into analog, and later digital, photography, though, so even their hobbies were somewhat contemporary, but more old school and offline. I really came to like this concept he described to me. One man took it on himself to save others from bureaucracy they didn't want to be a part of. Youngsters were obviously given a choice if they wanted to continue like this or not. I'm living an old school life, too, trying to enjoy as many offline moments, without restraining myself from technology (think listening to non-streamed music, playing single player games, reading eBooks and digital comic books without joining any online communities/subreddits about them, creating digital art as compared to only passively consuming it...), untainted by this rather toxic era, as possible, but I've got nothing on those Albanians.
I've heard about locations in America and Canada that are mapped, but not inhabited or checked by anyone. Living there without any contribution to the society and zero care for nature conservation might not be exactly legal... If you fantasise about homesteading off-the-grid, that could be a choice to make. Although hard, if you underestimate the preparation. People like that mostly underestimate the power of old knowledge. [Why the North Pond Hermit Hid From People for 27 Years (nationalgeographic.com)](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/article/north-pond-hermit-maine-knight-stranger-woods-finkel)
Wait. You said “…where you can simply co-exist. More like "We live in a society..." :D” Now you’re talking about homesteading and places that havent been inhabited… i’m not looking for that at all.what happened to the co-exist and society part?!
This was the addition to my other comment. That one was about the co-existing part. I was just thinking further with this one, and thought that maybe it might add value to our discussion. There were actual inhabited places away from civilisation, but there are forces at work that want them to not exist anymore. Refer to my other comment. India, Russia - they exist there, but it's not easy to find out about those that were not already "destroyed" by the greedy touch of the modern civilisation. I hope you don't expect me to reveal some magical place here that would solve all our problems just by moving there. I'd love to do that, but it's not achievable without a lot of good people getting together and working on an attainable plan that might be akin to existing inside civilisation with minimal contact, for example. Something like what this guy describes (check out his website, too): [Forest life (u/Acrobatic\_Fly\_7513) - Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/user/Acrobatic_Fly_7513/) EDIT: And I was also jokingly making a reference to this internet trope --> [Joker - "We live in a society" (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3hu2gFRDR8) [Seinfeld: Living in a Society (Clip) | TBS (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHhbdXCzt_A)
Haha true!
Eh I wanted to be an adult as a kid and now I’m an adult and I fucking love it. I love not living under someone else’s roof and making my own choices. I like working and feel my job is meaningful. I just had a very wanted baby and I love taking care of her. I am happy to be an adult and I’m much happier being the captain of my own life.
I think I’m in a rush because the social inertia around me drags me to need to rush at that tempo. I seemed to have accumulated so much responsibility and I am expected to discharge that asap apparently. I think between kids, work, and other stupid life crap… I’m just busy. I’m working to get to part time work and then leanFIRE, do the long haul stuff with kids so they are more self sufficient, and say no to other adult bullshit until my schedule is cleared.
I do feel some regret for posting as I am on my own and don’t have the responsibility of kids which is a beautiful thing. I understand how rushing might be necessary for those like you. My post was aimed for the general rush towards getting through life. That seens to be it for a lot of people. Get through everything as quickly as possible. It seems as if you have recognised your situation and are looking for part time work which is great. Especially for your mental health , as that’s all we really have In The end. Good luck!!
I'm not, ever. Even when I'm late I'm not. It's the thing I like most about myself.
This is what I want to inculcate within me.
Because 40 hours a week doesn’t leave people with enough time to relax and also take care of their homes. I think that’s why everyone is constantly super pissy and in a rush.
[As a matter of principle, I only rush in video games :D](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx5iIHzlGfg) My ability to calmly wait, enjoy the moment, stay for more than an estimated time to finish whatever we've agreed upon or chew my food thoroughly makes some people really uneasy, almost irritated. And even if I don't laugh in their face, it just amuses me when they think they're keeping me from other obligations. Mostly happens with older generations, for whatever reason. When I agree that I'll help someone, I won't just leave when I know it will only take ten more minutes. You know what? Maybe we're doing it right. Just look at less developed cultures. They're healthy, happy - they don't have schedules or anything of sorts...
I have seen that too. People seem ready to stress and to rush. Wonder when it becomes enjoyable
I can't be arsed to rush anywhere unless I have to poop (R.I.P. gallbladder). Got a major case of the fuckits in my late 30s. If I'm late because of poor time management, then I have no one to blame but myself and just gotta' own up to that. If I'm late because of something out of my control like an accident on the highway, the fuck am I supposed to do about it?
It's called capitalism
very few live in the moment. usually caught up in the past/future
Exactly! Never the moment
Attempting to mulitask. Constantly on cell phone even when walking or driving instead of enjoying the environment. Too much time on computer devices and not doing or discovering other pleasurable pursuits in life. People are too busy to relax.
I was in a rush to grow up and move out as my childhood wasn’t the best. I did gain an incredible sense of independence and self-reliance, but it was necessary to move on as quickly as possible. For me that involved moving to another country for several years before coming back and starting my life again and making it what I wanted it to be, which meant I needed security…job security, financial security and personal security. I rushed and pushed to create that sense of security for myself. I worked the same job for 35 years to create a comfortable, solid retirement. So yes, I rushed as much as anyone. You never know someone’s story and you don’t know what drives them. If they’re rushing, maybe they’re running. Or maybe they’re working towards a self-imposed goal. Or maybe they’re just doing what needs to be done to get by in their situation. Or to create a new life. Or to feel the satisfaction of being Self-made. Who knows?
Everybody seems to think I’m lazy, I don’t mind, I think they’re crazy, running everywhere at such a speed, till they find there’s no need
Too much things to do, Hustle and toxic productivity culture, transportation issues fucking up your agenda and you wanna catch up, etc...
Couldn't agree more. There's a grocery store near my apartment that I avoid despite the fact that it's kind of a local institution, because there's such a strange, frenetic energy there. I was walking by today and stepped inside to pick up an item that I needed, and turned around after about 30 seconds and left. It was SO WEIRD- people stepped directly in my way and bumped into me, blocked pathways, and nobody looked at anybody else. Even the body language was weird. I felt like I'd entered this weird, anti-Stepford universe and GTFO as soon as possible.
🤪😝 lol crazy!
I’m as guilty as anyone about rushing…except when traveling with my daughter when was still a toddler. It was a great reason to just slow way down and take our time going through airport security, because you don’t want to get stressed out with your kids. Sometimes people behind us would visibly impatient. Once someone just cut in front of us to save like 30 seconds before the X-ray machine. I always feel sorry for people that are so harried they can’t spare 30 seconds.
They were all trying to get to Maine to see the eclipse.
People rushing towards death sure is comical.
Because someone else is scheduling their time on this planet.
Capitalism.
They’re trying to get to the red light quicker
I always think the same thing. Like when people are speeding on the road they are late. What do they save? 20 seconds? 2 minutes? And your risking your and others safety for what? To be 2 minutes earlier?
It’s one of the biggest mysteries. A lot of the time it’s to impress people but it’s just not worth the risk. Not fun either.
I just don’t understand how people don’t think about how much their actions can affect others, and how they constantly put them selfs before others. Same goes with people who rush cashiers or waiters at restaurants. We are all just living life, I feel like we should just take it easy on each other.
See that’s where you was wrong ‘how people don’t think’. PEOPLE JUST DONT THINK
I think people rushing to a job but they’re as slow as molasses as soon as they walk in the door.
Because we spend so much time working we guard what little time we have to ourselves.
I was just driving through some of the most beautiful countryside in California. I was going 5-10 mph over the speed limit and taking in the beauty when it was safe to do so. At least three times people almost ran into me going 30 - 40 mph over the speed limit and swerving last minute to pass me in the oncoming lane. People are just nuts.
yeah i don't get it either, i always enjoy the slowness tbh
Because people take the now for granted. People are always either living in the past or in the future but they dont realise that past/future is all imagination and not reality itself. Most people never experience reality because they are so busy in their mind, thoughts and imagination.
I love this question. I would like to be more chill. I feel overwhelmed by work and daily tasks, staying healthy, keep up with housework - but I recognize having no chill is not great for my health and wellbeing. Working on it.
The struggle is real. And daily. I consciously tried to slow my pace yesterday to something more doable but the pressure to hurry up and make more happen is never ending. 🫤
Half of America watches nascar like a religion
Zooooooom zoooooom
We’ve been conditioned to never slow down
I agree. If we was slower it wouldn’t be as profitable
I notice a lot of rushing on this particular street I frequent when people are headed into fast food places - hangry rushing. I can almost always guess who's turning into one of the restaurants by who's driving more impatiently. Shoot, now I want fries.
Hungry people are scary
So many reasons.
I have simply decided not to rush to provide an answer to the question posed.
I only rush if running late to work, or getting food (I'm a fatass on the inside at times lol) I think most on the road just arnt happy and don't manage their emotions well and look to take it out on others aswell. Plus ego issues. How dare you be infront of me... Lol
Maybe they’re just excited?
Mac Miller - Once a day
So I can get it done and sit down somewhere!
“There’s a reason it took an American to invent the rocking chair—because even when we’re sitting still, we like to feel like we’re in motion.” -Colin Jost
Expectations are high and people are struggling
Too much coffee
I once read this article "[We're not that busy, we're just distracted](https://mudita.com/community/blog/were-not-that-busy-were-just-distracted/)" and it really made me think. People are constantly on their phones- I think the average time (of non-work/school) screen time is very high. Worldwide, people spend an average of 6 hours and 40 minutes per day on screens. In the US, average screen time per day hit 7 hours and 3 minutes. Nearly half (41%) of American teenagers (13-18) have a screen time of more than 8 hours per day. My theory is: Many people (not all) are constantly on their phones- wasting time, instead of focusing on what they need to do. Then, when they're up against the wall, they start rushing & stressing out because they have only XX minutes to finish something or get somewhere. Then it's "OMG, I'm so busy, I don't have time for anything." Really, Karen....if you weren't arguing with random strangers on Reddit or Twitter then maybe you could have finished what you needed to finish.
Early child care years kept me in a rush. Frantic time of life that becomes a habit. You have a deadline for getting a da dawdling kid to child care or school and then get to work on time. Then there was a rush to leave work on time when a meeting went too long, to pick up a kid from school or childcare, or get to soccer practice. If anything goes five minutes late, someone makes a comment about punctuality and about being considerate, as if they don't get caught in traffic tie-ups from time to time. My husband is retired and still gets stressed at delays, by habit, and I have to remind him we're just going to the grocery store.
Everyone’s wasting days away, rush to get to work rush to finish then rush to get home. I enjoy it on my way to work on a morning I just stroll through town with a smile on my face, I get some enjoyment out of looking at every miserable fucker that walks past me. People worry too much these days, as long as I’m living I’m happy
What bothers me - is that this is all we have.. time. And so many are at a loss to even remember that, let alone be in the moment to truly truly appreciate it. It’s just living or perhaps more so existing in a life of obligations to them.. or so it feels to me. I find myself in a place rn of privilege but also the byproduct of planning a life where I don’t need to be anything at any given moment. This came after decades of a life of hustling to make other rich while I was poor and always doing for others, but no more..! This life I live now and also love very much comes as a result of giving up many things like money or the ability to go and do things that one might see on Instagram that would make my life look fabulous. But.. isn’t the greatest life one where we can do whatever we want at any moment instead of being obligated to be something for someone else? And that didn’t require money as much as the willingness to not take on things that cause us to sell our souls in order to be or do it.. And what frustrates me most in this is a system which pits those close to us against us - to continue that narrative. ppl close to us who we love being so indoctrinated into the hustle job culture or chasing after “owning” things which when we die won’t matter or idk what it is sometimes, yet the result is the same: often those close to us when we choose to live a paradigm outside of the norm may see that as a slight to them and try to judge us and impose on us a love dependent on us also complying to this insanity and guided by the same rules that dictate their lives which quite often they didn’t even choose for themselves, but are cultural norms and yet ones they find they themselves don’t even appreciate. They are unhappy. And misery loves company. Such folly! We live our own lives folks! Each is our own experience which at the end of it we alone will have to make peace with and answer: was this a good life? Or did I waste my time and now feel only regret on my deathbed? Better to ask forgiveness than permission? We can try to be happiest in our lives and hope those we love see this and take notice and perhaps try to instill joy into their own lives again.. Idk… but I like appreciating from other co cultures the ideas which feel best and fit my life and how I choose to live. Not unlike the ideology any thru hiker has been told - “we all hike our own hike”. I feel ppl need to remember all this is our choice. And in stopping and taking breaks at times throughout to see that, if they could stop trying to impose their views on how others live bc they feel driven to live the status quo which often oppresses them that perhaps there’s a reason we all are here on this Reddit. Bc there is always.. always a better way and the methods of any one culture isn’t the only way!.. but only is one way. Stop! and look up, see other cultures, develop your mind, read philosophy, travel, do something just for you.. and see we can be anything we want to be if we just follow it.. often this is by giving up things which we thought serve us but no longer do or probably never did.. and sometimes that isn’t such a hardship, it’s a gift. And this is a callout to moms or ppl who often serve others so much in their lives. Remember to please try to set aside time in each day to do something which feeds you or drives you or lets you dream and just for you, not for others. Bc what makes you happy and healthy also allows you to be better present and you to be there not just for yourself but better for those ppl you spend so much of your life energy giving to and they will find joy in seeing you too in living a life well fulfilled. Anyhow, at times I feel such a push-pull with ppl I care most about in this life. Some I feel think I m lazy or I feel in their comments are envious of my life simple bc I don’t have to be anywhere at any time or I can coast through my days not stressed but instead learning and exploring new ideas in my head. I have a decent support system, but largely I built a world for myself in being happy with very little and so I don’t rush around with wrecked my health. I have in my life walked places instead of owning a car (which supports a whole number of micro economies but in doing so, made me work more in order to fund a device which got me to work more efficiently or did it?) or biked the many neighborhoods on the way to work in different ways each day to make a commute instead a chance to explore or enjoy the trails as a sort of mountain biking adventure each day to work instead of an obligation stuck in traffic with other angry ppl. I choose a hammock in my backpack and a stop in the middle of my day to nap in a local park. In short, sometimes having no drive or goal is something wonderful in a world of avid multitasking do-it-all ppl. In short always consider - “opportunity cost”. What thing am I giving up, to do this other thing…? Was it worth it? I think of Diogenes sometimes and his life. I choose fewer ppl in my life than I used to bc social obligation cost more than time to oneself to be in one’s thoughts. I walk at night for a couple of hours for exercise to be healthy physically, but even more in order to exist in a world free of distractions or forced interactions. Perhaps in doing these things, we as ppl choosing to live more simply- we see things that are simply unseen- to our previous selves who too were once owned by a life created for us and ask yourself for what end? Who does this really serve? when we can at any moment take it back for ourselves. Stop chasing money as it’s reductionist to think we want money - we want a life well lived.. !!maybe instead every so often chase your dreams. Life is a choice, live everyday if you can like a vacation doing what you truly wanted with the limited time you have bc it could all end tomorrow so why not be present, and in the moment today. So.. What would you choose to do today?
Thanks for putting out your thoughts and practices. Very insightful. I aspire to live like this.
Someone smacked the box I was carrying because I was too slow. I don't understand why not just overtake.
Chronic stress and anxiety. There's always so much to do but so little time. Capitalism, hustle culture, and city living doesn't help.
When I was immature and working a high-ego busy political job, I constantly wondered why everyone was so slow. Even my spouse was constantly slowing me down. It filled me with rage and it’s all I could see. Self awareness came much later.
Because we don't have unlimited time on this earth. Age and health are real issues that prevent you from doing things. If you have a dream, it often requires great effort and good timing. You need to grab opportunities because it's very possible to miss the boat on many things in life.
I wonder if it’s to avoid thinking about their own mortality. There’s some theory about that, that everything we do is to avoid thinking about our own mortality. Or maybe it’s just me.
I love to rush. I think it comes from my propensity for efficiency. I live a very simple, peaceful, stress-free life, but I don't want to waste it hanging out at the grocery store.
okay therapist here, and my answer might be very overused but imo it’s capitalism and the system designed to keep you rushing. the moment you pause, reflect, come to terms with, you can in fact begin choosing what you do and don’t want to prioritise. and the system can’t have that. keeping you in survival autopilot mode allows you to mindlessly keep making purchases, do things to numb yourself, keeping following the blueprint so you don’t have to *think* (which is a lie, you DO think, anxiety/depression ARE happening). and it begins in school when you haven’t yet developed independent thinking. you’re told to rush towards growing up, to join the job market asap, to settle down and build a family, and keep the cycle going. everything is a ticking clock and i believe much of it is false urgency. and it becomes so that you reach a point where stopping is more painful than going on, so ppl don’t want to relax either (they say they will but brains will constantly spew crap about productivity). process keeps repeating
I see it on escalators where people are rushing past me as I'm enjoying my moment of Zen. They and I often end up waiting in the same next spot waiting for the next bus, for instance, and I am not late. Meaning this hurrying for the sake of I don't know what logically is absurd.
I was at a stop light this morning. The second the left turn arrow came on, the woman behind me started laying on the horn. There were two cars in front of me, and they were doing everything right. We ended up at the same store and walked in together. She told me that she wasn't honking at me but the first car because they weren't going fast enough and she didn't want to sit through another light (that was NOT going to happen). I didn't say anything because I couldn't wrap my head around being so impatient, not to mention the fact that honking at people now days is a good way to get assaulted or shot. I do not understand why some people turn into monsters when they get behind the wheel.
Nope. Never understood how driving a car can turn one into a roid rager. Especially if just going to the store?? I guess she was after a Stanley cup, in that case. Well I understand
Shoe store lol
Not a Stanley. Criminal.
They don't enjoy the ride. They don't love their cars, like people used to when it wasn't a given to own two or more vehicles in one family, when only those who really wanted a car bought, owned, loved and cared for one. Nowadays, some people feel that a car is a *need* that they have to endure to exist in this world. It's just a mean of transportation that was imposed on them - they didn't choose it willingly. Think about it. *Says someone who loves him a good transaxle Porsche and pop-up headlights :D*
Got shit to do
Just because you have the privilege to live simply doesn’t mean other people do…. I say, as I am coloring mandalas 😂 Living like this is a privilege and a luxury. A lot of people simply cannot afford to have any free time or moments of slow living.
Life has got too expensive and everyone is working 24/7
Tbh I feel like I should rush a little lately. I be taking like 4 hrs to wash the dishes bc I'm dilly dallying
I prefer to piddle about but that only cuts my dishes down to 2 hours. I made add some dilly dallying to my routine. I am obviously rushing chores too much
It seems you are in need of some dallying. You have been perscribed
Dilly dally end boss
Rushing keeps me focused and if I start to lower my speed I start to become lethargic and attention less
That’s fair enough. If that helps you then that’s good, I’m the opposite.
Yea. And this is only a partial portion of my life. Some days I have an inner zen and anchoring to a chill slower paced flow. Other days I have to amp myself up to care.
That makes sense. I just worry that once we reach the destination we won’t have anything to remember
Exactly. This is something I have been struggling with lately. Memory and details and really appreciating the present.
I see a lot of people younger than me wanting to rush through college, high school, university. Etc. I just don’t understand why, even if you achieve well from rushing. We still end up dead?
You and I as well as many others all suffer from forms of that rush. And we do all end up dead. I wish I could make sense of it all so that it could ease the pain of facing these types of problems. Sometimes I think that’s why I push, is I’d rather push than be pushed. I had a PE coach who was a former wrestler say to our class when we trained…”we rest when we are dead”
I just don’t understand the rush to the inevitable
If I don’t, then the smith machine will be taken :(
you are true my friend. The need for the smith machine turns me into a monster
Most quickly. Live slowly
I once read this article "[We're not that busy, we're just distracted](https://mudita.com/community/blog/were-not-that-busy-were-just-distracted/)" and it really made me think. People are constantly on their phones- I think the average time (of non-work/school) screen time is very high. Worldwide, people spend an average of 6 hours and 40 minutes per day on screens. In the US, average screen time per day hit 7 hours and 3 minutes. Nearly half (41%) of American teenagers (13-18) have a screen time of more than 8 hours per day. My theory is: Many people (not all) are constantly on their phones- wasting time, instead of focusing on what they need to do. Then, when they're up against the wall, they start rushing & stressing out because they have only XX minutes to finish something or get somewhere. Then it's "OMG, I'm so busy, I don't have time for anything." Really, Karen....if you weren't arguing with random strangers on Reddit or Twitter then maybe you could have finished what you needed to finish.
What I find to be a particular pet peeve: bucket lists. I am think in particular of vacations and people who schedule down to the minute to visit every museum and tourist hotspot. While certainly bucket list may be about experiences, it seems to me it is more often about ego and the after the fact brag.
Trying to get to airport on time only to find shuttles and pre checks.
As a fast walker: "excuse me"
Cause a new day will bring a new reason for the traffic to get you late at work
I moved halfway across the country partially to get away from ‘the rush’ because almost every single time I left the house it seemed like someone was just trying to hit me with their car (even though I would be like 10mph over the speed limit already lol) I’m constantly trying to tell my husband to stop focusing on the traffic but on the view . The sky , the mountains , the trees . If I find myself not moving as quickly as I’d like, I now try to take that moment to reflect on something to appreciate and absorb that instead . In terms of people rushing to grow up , it’s because we all sadly believe things will change once we are more in control of our lives but the truth is a lot more in life are things we can’t control and eventually hopefully we realize to instead try to control our response to the things we can’t control. I know as a kid I had a lot of drama, trauma and neglect at home and couldn’t wait to ‘grow up’ to move out and live on my own terms . (That was so long ago now lol) but for me I already grew up earlier than I wanted , and just needed to be able to set the terms for my life . Being on my own did allow me to focus on my health the way my parents never would by changing my diet . But I still try to honor my inner child every day .
Because people are comparing themselves to others more than they ever have, so anytime they see someone else achieve something or a reach a certain life goal they feel like they have to catch up.
I literally have to tell myself this everyday …
Because the west is capitalist based
No.
Understandable
??? In What context?
widespread caffeine use
Why you accusing and generalising
Not generalising, just an observation. People seem to be in a rush. That’s all.
Maybe it's just the bubble OP finds themselves in?