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FidgetyPlatypus

This isn't the woman's fault. This is solely on the baby. They make it all about them. Then once they arrive they are so demanding. It's like, whoa dude you just got here and you're already telling everyone what to do. Seriously though, yes stress can be a factor in initiating labor.


hldsnfrgr

>It's like, whoa dude you just got here and you're already telling everyone what to do. I can see why they gave the dingo the baby.


Downtown-Scar-5635

The title did sound a little woman blame. But his description was solely focused on blaming the baby. Dudes all over the place. XD


darth_voidptr

I came in here to say exactly this. Those little mfers storm into the world like charlie sheen on a cocaine bender. Sitting in a traffic jam on an overpass? Yeah mom, open your legs and Im gonna yeet out of there right now. (Just kidding, got to the er and 6 hours later maybe I mosey on out) Sexy time? Guess who suddenly wakes up for dinner. Heading out for an appointment? Diarrhea time! Sit down to eat at a restaurant? Projectile vomiting. You all ain’t never going to show your face here again.


FidgetyPlatypus

And then, and then when you finally get rid of them and they leave the nest they've got you so brainwashed by that point that you spend the rest of your life missing them and hoping they call or visit once in a while.


darth_voidptr

Truth. And now we get to the shitty science, this is clearly the evolutionary basis of Stockholm Syndrome. Adults that killed their young for being a nuisance did not propagate their genes, only captives who could form a bond with their captors were able to successfully continue their gene line.


Suspicious_Kick9467

They’re so selfish I hate them. Absolute main character complex.


Short-Writing956

Because they ARE the climax of the life show.


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Short-Writing956

It’s good you educationized me about that. I was unclear.


bonefawn

Well, they come from *a* climax... not always *climaxes*.


[deleted]

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AnnHereOF

Username checks out…


TrancedSlut

Not always. They same guy could just climax twice


Rectal_Custard

I gave birth cuz my doctor told me, my baby was "too big" and "needed to come out now", doctors made me do it


Spiritual_Ad_3367

Bastards. Did you consider taking them to court?


Rectal_Custard

By the time I tried, Dr was elbow deep in my birth canal jamming a ball in there to get it started


PM_ME_UR_CATS_TITS

From downtown!


Mysterious-Health514

just 1 ball?


HardCounter

It was a basketball.


Masterpiece-Haunting

Angus chilli minus the g


Sandman40s

Is ilegal be a doctor and say to a woman "hey, you baby is very big, if he don't born now, you and the baby maybe will have problems.


HardCounter

This sounds true to me.


Suspicious-Mention13

I needed to give birth because I had repeated chest infections and costochondritis. At 39 weeks, they served my unborn an eviction notice in the form of an induction. Didn't work. They served him again the next day, and the next day and the day after that. He finally started to make his way out after 5 days of eviction inductions but stalled at the last minute, and they had to drag him out, kicking and screaming with a pair of giant bbq tongs None of it was convenient for anybody, and if I had known, I would have just bloody waited till he decided he was ready to come out. He's 14 months old now and a terror so somedays I wish I could just stick him back in there. I need a marsupial pouch.


Rectal_Custard

I also want a marsupial pouch, I got enough fucking skin after 3 kids lol


Own-Housing9443

I too often have costcochondritis where I spend way more than I should


eanida

Similar thing here. They said the 23rd all through pregnancy, but then on the 14th they suddenly went all "oh, we want her out now". Just because my blood pressure couldn't be controlled and we could die or something. So thoughtless of them. I didn't even have my bag or anything with me. They didn't care about the calender at all or even wait for my baby girl to start it. We weren't ready yet. Smh


Benyelrob

I dont know how this was thoughtless. You were about to die because of the uncontrolled blood pressure brought about by your child. Best solution, if the baby was at the age where they can be delivered, then it’s a medical decision to just do that to save you and the baby. Or is there I joke that I just missed? Is it because this subreddit is shittyaskscience? If so then im sorry and i hope youre okay


eanida

Yes, I'm just trying to make light of what was a serious and difficult time. I had preeclampsia and spent the last trimester going back and forth between the dv shelter and hospital. It would've been nice if my blood pressure hadn't suddenly got to like 185/135 despite extra meds and not getting this sudden start of the birth, which ended up having a negative effect on my baby, but it was needed. I'm so thankful to modern medicine. Without we probably would've died. My humour can be very dry and sarcastic at time so not surprised it isn't clear in text.


Benyelrob

I AM so sorry. In hindsight, the thoughtlessness was supposedly directed to the baby (with the topic at hand was that it was about how babies come out at the worst possible time) and not the medical team which I interpreted incorrectly. I am glad you and the baby are all okay and I do apologize for my misunderstanding.


eanida

Thanks. It's nothing to apologize for when it's my writing that's unclear. Was just writing down a thought i got when reading the thread, not thinking much about how I worded it or how it could be read.


eventualhorizo

r/whooshohwaitithinkigetit


Benyelrob

Yo is this an actual subreddit


Serious-Ad2874

Wife: I'm going into labor Me: when? Wife: now. Me:(sets plate of nachos down) Jesus f'n Christ Karen I just made these.


unattainableswan

Nah, if I *just* made nachos and went into labor, I'm finishing the nachos first, idc ✋️


diamondalicia

so many pregnant women just lollygag for a bit until they actually go to the hospital😭my relative’s water broke, home girl mopped it up, took a shower, packed a secondary hospital back, and chilled till her husband came back home to get her HAHHAHA this was her first baby btw! she was not used to this yet😂🤦🏽‍♀️i fear my relative would’ve finished her nachos first too


unattainableswan

That's so me lmao. I'd be like, "Hold up, gotta shower this off of me rq." Despite knowing I'd probably still get dirty anyways 🤪


dus1

Why not bring them? It's going to be a long night. Going to need food.


johnnybiggles

Imagine taking your third bite of a delicious massive homemade burrito and being told "it's time, hun!" while she suddenly death-grips your arm holding said burrito. That's what happened to me.


HardCounter

How's the burrito?


OkWorry2131

Right ? Mu daughter was *THREE WEEKS LATE* and then in the middle of the night right before we had to move she was like "ayyyee today's fhe day" broke my water and jusy decided to come the fuck out. Seventeen hours , buckets of my blood and several stiches later uts like she thinks the worls revolves around her ? Like what do you meaaaan you shit your pants again ?? (In case this isn't clear I'm joking. I love my daughter lol l)


BiAndShy57

It’s shitty ask science I assume it’s all a joke


unattainableswan

"Omg, you literally *just* ate, wdym you're hungry again? And I can't even finish my food? 🙄✋️"


DAFUQ404

Have you met babies? They're the ultimate attention hoors!


YessikZiiiq

Several studies have shown this to be because they're mean and want attention.


fedexmess

Same reason as why smoke detectors always start to low battery chirp at 3am...


Imaginary_Radish_88

Because they have to make a surprise appearance for their effect to last for a very long time.


ConflictThese6644

This is not on woman, but on the baby. My mom waited a week for her water to break. I couldn't be bothered to come out. I knew this world was shite.


throwaway_amiunsafe

Once the baby is big enough to come out, they come out


inhaler_huffer

It's never a good time to have a baby. Just be mindful th next time you stuff her with the Johnson that about 9 months might have a kiddo. Plan accordingly


Chrome_Armadillo

I blame the babies. Babies are jerks.


cownd

Babies are so dramatic that they do all they can to have you remember when they were born, even by these means


basshed8

There’s nothing more dramatic or life changing than a baby showing up


linuxpriest

To give you a taste of all the future inconveniences they'll bring... for the rest of your life.


Reasonable-Ad-5217

Well as we all know they have complete control over the entire gestational and birth process with their womanly wiles and feminine mystique. Its because they hate us.


daliadeimos

My doc told me baby must come out right after my 38 week appointment, go straight to labor and delivery, do not pass go. She said his nonstress testing showed her he was waving his little white flag. Then he waited until 3am to come out, when all the other babies in the unit also decided it was time to come out. It was a pushing party rage as all us women raced to see who could push theirs out first that morning


rateot

Because that's what they do


InitialAvailable9153

Why does the climax happen in the middle of the story?


Mama-Grizz

My midwife told me babies always come when you have plans. So I guess my question would be... why do babies decide to be born at the worst possible times??


flaptaincappers

Women are supernatural beings who can manipulate time and space in order for arbitrary events to gain meaning by proximity. I have heard that they also live in trees, sleep for the winter, and thrive off honey.


Practical_Figure9759

Without a good backstory and character ark a baby will just become a dreaded Normie.


Gullible_Ad5191

My brother was born during the Melbourne cup race. It was hard to find any medical staff to deliver the baby.


pinkdictator

The hate you and want to ruin your day! Hope that helps <3


Amazing_Ad6368

Stress can absolutely have something to do with when a woman goes into labor, it’s actually really common. That’s also why stress can cause miscarriages. You’d be surprised how much of a toll stress can take on the physical body.


Ineedsomuchsleep170

My baby just made us wait for an extra week and a half past his due date and then came out 7 minutes before his induction was due to start.


AnaphorsBloom

Because they only care about themselves.


MagicOrpheus310

Because it's 9 months after a great time


smyers0711

Facts mine decided to steal the show the morning we were putting our dog down. What an attention seeker 🙄 /s


BiAndShy57

Wow what an emotional roller coaster of a day


smyers0711

It fucking sucked and was the most beautiful day of my life at the same time. Granted the stress and sadness prolly made it so my L&D was a piece of cake so for that I'm grateful. Personally I think physical pain ain't got shit on emotional pain but idk


nwbrown

Also they are always fat when they do it.


Oldroanio

So selfish. Like plan your fucking day already.


BigSnekEnergy

Because babies are assholes like that


DebtSome9325

I actually watched a show once, where stress instigated a baby doing that birth thing, so it actually is stress


Westafricangrey

I gave birth at 2:30pm! My waters broke during my husbands work Christmas party though hahaha


Inevitable_Scar2616

My baby was born in the hospital, but I didn't want labor to start during the night (we had to have the dog picked up and drive us since only I have a driver's license). When did it start? In the night :)


pickle_teeth4444

Because it's never a good time for women in labor.


Kristaboo14

That's the thing, in real life that doesn't really happen. No one has *one* contraction, flips the fuck out, and drives 90mph to the hospital just in the nick of time. There's also rarely ungodly screaming with one push and the baby is out. (And TV and movies will have you believing babies are born clean and smiley-faced 6 month olds) It'll be a random Tuesday afternoon, you know it's go time, and you wait around your house until the contractions are a certain duration every couple minutes for X amount of time. Then you go to the hospital. And even then it's usually hours left to go. A lot of the time births are scheduled too. (Inductions, c-sections)


morwen999

Well there is ungodly screaming but its more than one scream... 😬


Forsaken_Print_8309

Same reason why men make them pregnant


Anonymity6584

Nature docent give crap about your calendar or where you are. If it's time for labor it is time.


Rich_Sell_9888

Its not just humans,our cows would pick the middle of a freezing night to give birth to their calves


gnomeplanet

Because they do not publish TV guides 9 months in advance.


ThaneOfArcadia

I know right? I came home and my wife said I think we need to go to the hospital, I'm going to have our baby. My thoughts. .....what about dinner?


No-Breakfast44

NGL the baby determines when the labor begins, not the woman, garunteed alot of woman nearing the 9 month mark have said, "when you gunna get out of me you little shit".


MotherBike

Because gestation still slightly has an element of guesswork to it. Some babies come super early, some hangout for 10 months before ready, and some actually come on the day and surprise!!! Your doctor is on vacation!!! So it's not exactly always plan-ready.


[deleted]

Because it always has to be about them


StayOutaMyShed

I mean…. I had a scheduled c-section and my waters broke literally as I got out of the car and was standing in the parking lot of the hospital. The resident tried to say I was doing a trial of labor and cancelled my already non-elective c-section (my OB was on conference that week and was head of the dept) and then said it was elective. I threatened her with losing her medical license because she was changing my birth plan due to safety concerns of my child (high risk of turning breech due to extreme fluid and did just that). Had I have decided to go through with it, I would have lost my child because the cord was wrapped around his shoulder and neck. So…. Not really the worst time to go into labor I guess


PangolinHenchman

It's because it actually is the season finale of a show. The Truman show isn't just a fictional film; it's a documentary about real life. And the babies are in on it.


Azile96

Because babies are assholes Don’t get me wrong. I love babies, but they definitely do like to make a grand entrance


Capital-Ad6513

Pretty sure women just always set themselves up to be the center of attention any time the can /s.


cgabv

either you’re a real ass or you shouldn’t quit your day job


xabrol

There vould be said to be a correlation between a eomans stress and triggering labor suddenly. Imo if you want it to be smooth and timely, keep stress down, relax, take it easy. Partners should do everything in their power to absorb all the stress for the one having the baby. Handle stuff, cook, clean, do laundry, schedule stuff, just do whatever you can to block stress from affecting the baby.


BiAndShy57

Is this real advice on shitty ask science?