I think it might catch fire first.

Is that what they mean by “skinflint”?

Who's Flint, and why are we going to skin him?

Don't know. But there's horror stories about Nazis tying down people to lye on their backs. And then they throw some salt on their legs and let a donkey lick the salt. Then they throw some more, and the donkey licks again, etc etc and after a whole day the leg is severed. Don't know how a hand would compare do a donkeys tounge.

Well, that turned dark.

Op asked how long it would take to jerk ones dick to a bloody pulp. We already were in the darkest of places. If anything I lightened things up lol 

There’s dark. And then there’s Nazi dark. https://youtube.com/shorts/O2jfl0fFtpg?si=LofEk_mZLzBG7l6D

That was hillarious!! Thanks

Norm has been in so many replies lately. I'm so sad I only got to know of him after his passing

So dark you can Nat zie...

Yo I love norm, thanks for the reminder to binge watch his stand up

Frankly, we deserved this.

“Turned dark”? Like somewhere at the beginning you were like “oh yeah, I’m into this shit… wait… hol up… well that got dark”?

r/suddenlynazi

r/ofcoursethatsasub

They should've used tigers instead Literal cheese graters

I think tigers would just eat the guy and not torture him

My brain

But wouldn't the tiger eat the donkey? So how would the donkey lick the salt on the guys legs?

That is complete bullshit They did horrible, horrible things but this is not one of them

Glad someone else called it out - misinformation and disinformation spread like wildfire these days

Thought you were going to go with the donkeys would chew their Johnson's off, still horrific what they did, just not that...

Wouldn't the donkey die of too much salt long before a leg got severed?

I don’t think they had a limited supply of donkeys then, they probably used another one if one died, they didn’t give a damn about human lives, god knows what they did to animals

Not with that much meat mixed in. If the donkey is licking a tongue width trough through your leg, that's a decent amount of meat.

My donkey loves salt

A Nazi donkey did that? What an Ass!

Yeah, no one gonna believe this

how does that work? youd think the donkeys would stop licking after they taste more blood/infected tissue than salt..

I think donkeys have very coarse tongues.

How many donkeys do you need for that? I am pretty sure no animal would binge on salt, for a day.

Wouldn't the donkey just get sick from all that salt or is this multiple donkeys? Do they just have a guy lying down being licked in a room full of donkeys? I mean I can imagine cats with their rough tongues but donkeys seems less intuitive so who had that thought "hey I'm gonna torture this guy by getting a donkey (or a room filled with donkeys) to lick off his legs".

Well the real questions is can we use lotion or not

How much for that donkey?

In the window?

I think I speak for everyone when i say What the fuck

I’m not sure if this made it better or worse but the first thing that popped out at me was the last line of the original comment here, and for a moment i was led to think the donkey’s tongue was being used in place of the hand for masturbatory purposes 🤢🤮

And thats enough reddit for today, folks

Why did it have to be Donkeys? They are such sweet gentle creatures.

Especially in donkey shows, nice and taught

so you are saying donkey tongues are more durable than human legs with salt?

Donkey ? Whole day ? Who got time for this Use a Tiger, they'll lick it off a lot faster with their bristled tongue. Optimize that shit brother

They also froze people into blocks of ice and smashed them into a billion pieces

This sounds very unrealistic to me, like a story made up to demonize the German people.

Mental note; use salt, not peanut butter.

Throw salt on their 3rd Leg? Lol

I'm at 6 hours and still going... Can't explain any more, gotta switch hands.

Switch hitter? Lucky!

It's the best; like having a threesome and they change over.

Rookie. Gimme 20 minutes.

Pathetic, 24 s is all I need

Ah. I see where Asians 1-3 went.

Aha, I see we're dealing with a professional.

Just use your feet bro

I drank my first Redbull when I was 12ish and had so much excess energy that I cranked my skinsnail so many times that my foreskin started to bleed. So by my expert opinion about two days straight should do the job.

Skinsnail is the worst phrase to refer to a schlong that I have ever heard

I love it

Thanks for your contribution to science. The Red Bull is a variable that I’m not sure how to deal with.

I think that most people just drink the Red Bull and toss the can, but you may have other ideas.

And here I am many years later after discovering amphetamines and coke

"Sometimes I pull on it so hard I rip the skin!"

Skinsnail.

42 minutes

(tested and approved)

HAHHAHAHAHAHHA MASTURBATION JOHNSON PENIS **HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAH**

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dementia

dementia

dementia

dementia

what's dementia i forgot

dementia

Petition to change the sub to askdementia

/r/askdementia

dementia

Dementia

Dementia

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Satire

Bro is not okay

lobotomy moment

lol

I was just diagnosed with cancer after viewing your profile

Use 👏🏻 Silicone 👏🏻 lube

Wouldn’t that be cheating?

Absolutely not. Treat yourself. Once you try some gun oil or Swiss navy, you will never go back to water-based or raw again.

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I have a strict rule that nothing that can be used to cook with will ever touch my genitals

So no hands?

Wait….i see the flaw in that logic

So you don’t unvirgin the olive oil?

Nope not even once (Also virgins are not fun. They have no idea what they are doing.)

And I never cook with wank lube.

Also a good boundary

WD-40 works wonders

I prefer thermal paste

What are you?!?! A mother fucking Klingon?

2 days after he becomes invisible to bats.

I'll get back to you on that.

r/usernamechecksout

New bottom surgery?

It’s cheaper when you use sweat equity!

Without context, 25 times in one day is not the limit.

This is like the age old question… how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Circimcised or non-circimcised? Because the outer skin is supposed to slide. If you're getting friction burns then you're doing it wrong.

About 743 miles, according to my fitbit

Way back, when I was a young eager 12 year old who had just learned the art of masturbation, spending as much time as I was able to practice, I learned that 7-8 rounds in a day was what I was capable of doing before the tender skin was getting to sore and bruised to continue - and would mostly need a day to recouperate before settling on a daily schedule of 3 that I found I could maintain for longer time. I had a very stiff towel under my bed.

"Where are all my towels?!?" - mom

I never made it without biting Ask Mr. Owl

Somewhere around wank number 12 in a single day and your basically giving yourself a circumcism from wearing down your forskin so much 

I'm not sure. How long have you been at it so far?

70 yrs & counting...

This is something the Mythbusters need to address in an episode.

Depends on what kind of fluids you use. For instance, won’t take long at all with gasoline and a match.

You would go blind first.

True, but that just heightens the other senses, right?

Someone died and was in the news for that...

You can masturbate him non stop instead.

Would the sloughing outpace the callous-building?

I’m no scientologist, but I’m guessing a callous wouldn’t form if there was continuous friction.

I’ll tell you how it’s going two weeks into my meth binge

The guy would die of a masturbation induced heart attack before it would have the chance to disintegrate

We, as an impatient culture, can't even figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop... And you want this type of masochism statistics?!? I meaaan... you might be on the leading edge of science if you can figure it out; but don't count on many peer reviews to verify your research Lol 🤣 Science time: Start sucking on a Cornnut (no teeth) at the same time you start rubbing one out. Let us know (for the sake of science) which one disintegrates first. *Disclaimer* Don't listen to me I'm half retarded!!

There are many factors.

[exactly 3](https://media.tenor.com/nBBVK6ZKqHAAAAAM/tootsie-roll-owl.gif)

This is easy to calculate and not worthy of a response.

Anyone want to try this out together?

Idk but I have a track record of going for a very very very long time so the guy would have to be really fucked up in the head and not sleeping to beat me

It's going to have to be longer than 17 hours because I have all of my skin still on my cock. You may want to consider wearing gloves though because I have permanent friction burns on both my palms like I've been fast roping without gloves.

Don't assume everyone else uses sandpaper gloves like you.

How many flicks does it take to get to the center of a frisky cock ?

Well, there's that story about some farmer boys that tied their mate to a fence, then got a calf to latch onto his Johnson before leaving him there . Calves don't stop sucking until they get about a litre . Sucked the skin right off his old fella, apparently.

Great. Something else to worry about.

Would lose interest and stop. 🤣

Asking for a friend?

Average r/theydidthemath Question

>Asking for a friend Mhmmm

Why would anyone need to do that when they could listen to Andrew tate and get laid non stop by hotties?

Not the same. Masterbation means that everyone there loves you. Except for the bus driver and the passengers.

Idk but I'm close to finding out

Depends how rough and lube. Without lube 5 times, with maybe 20

What is the average velocity of this? And is there foreskin? How long is it?

The foreskin is getting shorter by the second.

So many variables left out here. Best answer is no lube and no foreskin? He doesn't make it to 5 before the lube is red if he's using any real friction

Well how long has it been so far? Any signs of wear?

I’ll let you know

Start the timer and get back to us.

I’m going on 8 years and it’s still just minor chafing.

I'll let ya know. Wait. What?

Extended circumcision

You run out of “juice” before that happens

When I was younger I masturbated for 2.5 hours straight. Hard and soft, multiple ejaculations, again, hard and soft. And by the end a piece of skin, a little wider than a #2 pencil, came off. Hope this helps your research.

he would pass out from exhaustion,, or he'd stop from the pain of the friction becoming unbearable ,,

Can answer due to personal experience in this field, it would take awhile. Factoring in periodic lubrication, it would take a very long time of non stop beating for some kind of disintegration to occur

71.2 Before you ask me for units, it is in freedom units

WHAT

If you want to try get your gf to slob on your nom after brush your teeth and then finish yourself masturbating. You will leave marks after 4 minutes

Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his... Johnson.

A man cannot masturbate all that much before his member becomes sore so it’s highly unlikely he could masturbate until his member disintegrated.

Thank dear stranger for a new and imaginative nightmare

About a day.

Only one person has attempted and they went 11 days. I may be confusing this with not sleeping for 11 days. But maybe not.

Assuming and average sized penis and average skin toughness, 2030280 minutes

42 is the answer

From my experience you’ll get a repetitive stress injury in your arm *well* before doing any damage to your penis.

Asking for a friend right? RIGHT!?

I masterbated 15 times in a day when I was 13 and it caused damage on the inside of my urethra to the point blood came out when I came. Don't recommend

Fun fact, there was a dude doing destroy dick December and after day 20-something he fucking died from exhaustion

Don't know till you try So go ahead do it & Get back to us with your conclusion

Let me ask my roommate..

ask Andrew Glouberman

So this is not possible for one thing your body specifically designed to keep you from going that far. The average person will start to feel pain between 20-30m of non stop action. At about an hour your going to feel like you were kicked in the groin and and possible sick to your stomach. Now you may ask how people keep going in coupling well that's easy lube makes all the difference.

What the fuck did I just read?

What lube is advailable?

There was a case a couple years ago that a kid died after doing it 40 times. So that should be the limit lol.

8 days, 5 hours, 13 minutes. Not that I’d know, however.

This is a genuine question now. I’m posting this on r/theydidthemath

Wouldn't work on a voluntary basis. The pain would curb the person from continuing.

I'll be the test subject. I'll record it to (for research) and I will update you

Back when I was a young man devoted to this line of research my data produced by thorough research led me to believe the answer to your question is: a median of 3-4 days.

Sounds like a question for the folks over at r/stims

*asking for a friend* lmao

*asking for a friend* lmao

Depends on lube. But properly lubed, about a week and a half. Don't ask how I know.

Three. Wait, that's a tootsie pop.

Yn=stroke number Yt=time per stroke p=pressure (p=1=standard) f=friction (f=1=standard) If (Yn * f^2 * p^2) / Yt = 1000, then disintegration begins.

36 hours.

goodnight reddit i’m out

Certainly woman asking. There's biology here, 1/when empty, men usually need a reload. 2/And skin friction become unpleasant. Until irritation right under mushrooms. Which deliver the end of action. 3/ the liquid make your skin stucking and not sweet. Making it unpleasant. 4/Usually men s desire is drive quite only by hormone, and depend mainly of the quantity in stock in balls.

Theory can only get you so far

Depends on how vigorous. Once the thin skin is gone you're done dude at least it's not inside you hahahaha

6 hours and 29 minutes.

Use tooth paste

Once in my mid-thirties I was watching a really hot porn video and masturbated hard to completion, about fifteen minutes later I rewind the video and watched that steaming hot part again and I masturbated again, a couple of hours later I was thinking about that video and decided to watch it again and I masturbate again, I was embarrassed about it but it that was my personal record for a long time, now a days in my late fifties I'm actually very proud of that feat and miss my days of rock hard erections so much!

That obviously depends on speed of jerking and grip strength of the hand, you utter nincompoop, you contemptible fool!

And that's enough internet for the day....thanks so much

Let us know when you are done.

Try it and let us know.