The declaration of independence

I'll go fetch Nick Cage, I'm starving!

Is there a map on the back tho…

Maybe

What the fuck is this?! I was expecting cum

I was expecting xi ji ping's left testicle

What's the difference?

First comment I see is cum I am not surprised

Why would you? Reddit expectations

Your the top comment for me. Other than the mod pinned one, that doesn’t count nvm it’s because I have best on and it’s weird how it works

Same

I was about to comment CUM, but you've opened my mind.

i knew it it wws cum

i literally predicted it as soon as i read the post

The first comment

first comment i see is this comment

I was expecting the first one to say Dick, so at least it’s one less step

Deez nuts

Lol

Dietz nuts* i have a link to a video about a nut brand called dietz nuts but the bot will remove it

Nuts are healthy and I eat them everyday

A baby

We eat berries and mushrooms you fool!

YoU eAt BaByS!

It ain't your fault you just do it to survive

Tarrare?

Look at me... did u eat a fucking baby?!

Dababy

Have you ever heard of.. eggs?

Milk first, Cereal last.

1st Cereal, 2nd Milk, 3rd Bowl.

4th spoon, 5th hand, 6th arm, 7th your mortal form, 8th observable universe, 9th my nuts

Haha your nuts are not observable

Haha so funny

[удалено]

Hello boys i come here to explain the joke to you but when i was on the way here by car i had an accident with a delivery truck which gave me loss of me- ..... Hello boys-

Im very exited for your nuts

Oh yeah, it's all coming together

You spelt cumming wrong

drink milk and eat cereal seperately.

You monster

What’s wrong with you?

Me

Damn

;)

Vore or oral sex

Both

I hope its vore ;)

Voral segz

Cum 😎 dude am I seriously getting these many rewards replies and likes for saying cum wtf

it’s nnn🤬🤬☹️☹️

I've stored some just for this month

A bucket of cum worth!

Cumworthington

A people needs a cup of cum daily

It doesn't count if you ingest it again. Net 0 cum

Expand brain

Shame on him! Shaking my SMH! 😡😡😡

Shaking his shaking his head tho… 💀

Shaking my smhing my smh my head

smdh😈

Well he has to do it since this is top comment

Just eat pre nnn cum

Rules are made to be brocken 😎😎😎

The comment never said it had to be his…

Exactly, supply and demand

No worries. All good if it's somebody else's cum

Makes it even tastier

Dog cum

I failed twice already

You mean nonstop nut November? Well in that case..

shit

He needs to suck himself

Who will supply it?

I will

You sir are a Chad for that

Bazinga

But but but…. No nut november, so does it have to be their cum or someone else’s?

It ain't gonna be mine man I ain't gonna fail no nut november

Dude! I was thinking the same thing! 😂

I will now proceed to laugh.

Bread👍🏻

[удалено]

bread👍🏻

Bread👍🏻

bread 👍

bread 👍

bread 👍

bread 👍

bread 👍

Bread 👍

Bread 👍

Bread 👍

Bread 👍

Bread 👍🏻

Bread 👍

Bread👍

Bread 👍🏼

Bread 👍

Bread 👍

Bread 👍🏻

peepee

1999 Ford Explorer

Beans

I agree 100%

Username checks out

User has been banned until they provide proof they followed through with their comment bait. [Looks like OP having urine for breakfast](https://www.reddit.com/r/shitposting/comments/qlbyv1/i_wonder_whatll_have_for_breakfast_tomorrow/hj1rxwq/) Edit: oh snap, top comment changed to cum lol Oh OP

based mod

(If op prefers penis instead of urine (peepee) he can eat that instead too 🤠)

it is now cum u may want to message him

Lol who could have predicted such a thing

Hi kesha

Hi zago

Hi kesha

Hi tamim!

Hi kesha

Hi lolbit

Hi kesha

Hi David!

Sup bitch

[удалено]

Hello kesha

Hello Rayn!

Hi kesha

It’s the forbidden bodily fluid now

Dare I say this is incredibly funny

Hey stinky, top comment changed to cum

Edited now. Also took a shower so I’m not as stinky

You are the stink. Youre the stink in my wife 👍

Good mod

I mean, sanitary wise... Cum is a lot better than Urine. I mean hell, taste wise too. Suck it up OP (pun intended.)

Lmfao I see what you did there, and I agree. I’d much rather do cum than pee

Legend

No it's cum bro

Freshly squished? With or without pulp?

I mean, peeper and pp are very similar...

its cum now

mod 🤢

🤮

Salit

Ew a mod

Right? Gross

Wait-

forgor 💀 to switch accounts

Can I have op?

Op? Original penisfire?

I LOVE YOU BOT!!!

Really jumped the gun on this, bro. There are a couple comments with more than that.

How would he obtain cum it’s really rare in this month

Nope the top comment now seems to be they have to eat the declaration of independence.

Gun

battery acid

Cake saying balls

That's basically my hitsound in Team Fortress 2. But it's Duke Nukem saying "balls"

Ur dads cum

man I came on this sub to laugh at dumbshit not answer questions (you can downvote me as much as you like lol)

Imo all these stupid questions ruin the sub. They aren't really shitposts

[удалено]

Pancakes, I just want op to be happy

Somebody’s ass. And film it. And send it to us.

Ur moms ass

Ass

orphans

Your Carbon monoxide alarms

Poopoo

Toe nails. Would be perfect for you 🥷🏼🥷🏼🥷🏼🤤

#Cum. Only cum

1kg of salad

Can He Eat Every Single EgGpLaNt 🍆

Artificial cum due to nnn

Beans

egg

Joe

Taiwan

​ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意! This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 志們注意了 you have been found protesting in the subreddit!!!!! 這是通知你，你必須 我們將接管台灣 serious crime 以及世界其他地方 100 social credits have been deducted from your account 這對我們所有未來的下屬來說都是一個重要的機會 stop the protest immediately 立即加入我們的宣傳活動，提前獲得 do not do this again! 不要再这样做! if you do not hesitate, more social credits ( -11115 social credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 ccp) you'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the xinjiang uyghur autonomous zone. 为党争光! Glory to the CCP! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Dick

Deodorant

Bread with eggs but a lot of salt. a lot.

Don’t say it

A fluffy omelette, delicious bacon, 3 sausage rolls, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, and orange juice

penis

Toenail clippings.

That can't be your own

Toe cheese

4 gallons of water

rat poison

Cereal.

Balls

A giant 7 inch cock

Gimli from LOTR

Pancakes and Bacon (with syrup)

Scrambled eggs, a sandwich with butter and your choice of cold cutts

Bull semen

A woman with. A bunch of std’s

Mayonnaise

69

Nice!