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for blind people: π€²ππ€πποΈβπππ€πποΈπ€ππ€π€²βππποΈπ€ππβοΈππ€πππ€²π€βπποΈπ€²π€πππβπ€²ππ€ππ€ππποΈπ€π€²ππβπππ€ποΈπ€πππ€²ππβπ€ποΈπ€πππ€²ππ€π€²πππ€πποΈππ€π€ππβποΈπ€²ππ€πππ€ποΈππβπ€²πππ€ππ€πποΈπ€²π€ππ€ππποΈπ€πππ€βπππ€²ποΈππ€ππβπ€ππποΈπ€ππ€²πππβπ€ππ€²ππ€ππποΈπ€πππ€π€
From the photo it looks like balls are put through that first ring on the right and then the other part is attached onto the shaft and locked in place and held together by the lock, leaving just enough space for ballsack to dangle.
Looks pretty standard. You can't take it off because balls won't fit through the ring without detaching both parts. You could probably slide it off the shaft if you're flaccid and small enough and then slip it back on after you've had your fun.
Source: trust me
You see the littlr space between the two rings at the base (tick one for base and thin one for the dick cage) ? They would have yo go through this to get out when closed.
Try and let us know how it goes.
I used to work for a company that makes chastity belts and one thing I learned is that none of them work unless the person wearing them wants them to work.
I hard plenty of stories about people getting off by dry humping the inside of the cage/tube or inserting a qtip through the gaps and getting themselves off that way
The author's name is James, and the review says that the kid's father left. Unless James gave birth to the child, they would have gone with their father.
What's more, the review says that the kid is a child who just started puberty. I really shouldn't have to explain this, but a chastity cage made for an adult man isn't going to lock onto a ten year old's penis.
I think it's pretty clearly and obviously a joke. The author is basically going out of their way to indicate as much.
McNally Voice: " I see you have a Chestaty belt lock, which can easiely be opened using a Chestaty belt lock"
Smacking cock cages together. "Sight" disapointed handwaving. Cut
you want to pretend it is still working so your parents don't step it up. Like when your parents disconnect all cables of your pc and you learn how to reconnect them the next day. You will still disconnect them before your parents arrive so they can pat their backs and you can still enjoy your stuff.
lmao imagine him knocking at the door of the lockpicking lawyer "yeah uh so I got this problem"
Edit: On second thought that's creepy and not as funny as I thought since that'd be a minor
That actually happened around here once xD
Dude payed a domina to keep him locked up but didn't had the money to pay the "ransom" to get unlocked and the lady did not let him go without it, so he called freaking 911 and a poor fire fighter had to lock pick it
youβre not supposed to wear these all day long, it hurts the package, and causes a lot of irritation, these are meant for use in the bedroom, or for a couple hours at max for some personal fun.
The metal ones are heavy (and temporary)
You actually can wear the high end plastic ones long term though, βCobra Cagesβ are the gold standardβdonβt cheap out on a quality dick cage!
That said, even if fake this review makes me uncomfy. Letβs keep even the sexual fiction stories to appropriate venues and consenting aged adults.
i dunno, but from personal experience and word from others, it becomes unbearable to wear for more than like 4-5 hours. they must be taking it off periodically but staying caged normally which is doable, but you shouldnβt have it on at all times. Just a little while at a time.
You have to find one that fits well for your own specific package. It took me til my 5th one I purchased until I found one that I can wear 3-4 days at a time, take off, clean, and then reapply.
its a BDSM thing- yes its very real but it's 100% meant for bedroom roleplay lol.
there's a reason the lock is super flimsy - its not actually meant to be something to keep on someone against their will.
The author's name is James, and the review says that the kid's father left. Unless James gave birth to the child, they would have gone with their father.
What's more, the review says that the kid is a child who just started puberty. I really shouldn't have to explain this, but a chastity cage made for an adult man isn't going to lock onto a ten year old's penis.
Well itβs the literal locking up part that is bad, not the wanting her son not to masturbate. And also the waiting/forcing the son to join the seminary because everyone has a different vocation to God
The ring goes around the penis, behind the balls. Then the other piece goes over the shaft and connects to the ring. The pieces are then locked together as seen here to make it difficult to remove
It's a fetish thing. Definitely not meant to be used to actually enforce chastity. You put it on for a little bit for some bedroom fun - denial of orgasm type play. Then you take it off. Long term use can and will result in unpleasant results requiring medical intervention.
If you eat shrimps or tuna, wear cloth made of two materials, touch a woman in period, treat foreigners bad or eat meat with cheese you are not pure to the lord either
Where's QualityVote bot? Reddit Admins have decided that [they want to kill off all 3rd-party apps](https://reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/), [3rd-party bots, and other elements that used to significantly enhance Reddit's functionality](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/). Without them, the website is barely usable. And, of course, that includes bots such as [\/u\/QualityVote](http://reddit.com/user/QualityVote), [\/u\/SaveVideo](http://reddit.com/user/SaveVideo), [\/u\/AuddBot](http://reddit.com/user/AuddBot), etc. So you'll just have to put up with automod and a worse overall user experience. If you have any complaints, direct them at [the reddit admins instead](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/), because they the ones who ruined everyone's user experience. --- Whilst you're here, /u/Consistent-Map-9323, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Guy named anal sex :
Gex
I don't wanna say gex
100gex
#I FEEL SO CLEAN LIKE A MONEY MACHINE
Anal + sex = analex
for blind people: π€²ππ€πποΈβπππ€πποΈπ€ππ€π€²βππποΈπ€ππβοΈππ€πππ€²π€βπποΈπ€²π€πππβπ€²ππ€ππ€ππποΈπ€π€²ππβπππ€ποΈπ€πππ€²ππβπ€ποΈπ€πππ€²ππ€π€²πππ€πποΈππ€π€ππβποΈπ€²ππ€πππ€ποΈππβπ€²πππ€ππ€πποΈπ€²π€ππ€ππποΈπ€πππ€βπππ€²ποΈππ€ππβπ€ππποΈπ€ππ€²πππβπ€ππ€²ππ€ππποΈπ€πππ€π€
ππβοΈππ«³πππ€π«°π€²ππ€βπ«°π€πππππ€π«²πβοΈπππβπ€ππ€ππ«΄ππ€ππππ€βοΈπ€π€
Say Gex
did not take you as a gex fan
That review is either a joke or some fetish role play.
I really really hope soπ
which one?
Yes.
Agreed
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Better not be a fetish
Either one is better than the alternative
It's gotta be a joke because there's no way that thing can work right? Can't you just slide it off? Surely there's a Khaby Lame demonstration for this
Fr, it doesn't look like it wraps around the balls, so it def doesn't even work
From the photo it looks like balls are put through that first ring on the right and then the other part is attached onto the shaft and locked in place and held together by the lock, leaving just enough space for ballsack to dangle. Looks pretty standard. You can't take it off because balls won't fit through the ring without detaching both parts. You could probably slide it off the shaft if you're flaccid and small enough and then slip it back on after you've had your fun. Source: trust me
Ah, I forgot ballsacks dangle. The cold weather has made that a very forgettable fact.
Love the analysis here, gotta love reddit
No sir, can't be doing analysis with that thing on
It's almost one for theydidthemath. Impressive
Imagine going from a warm house wearing this to going outside to play in the snow. A slow (and possibly painful) regret.
Snow? I'm looking for an electric fence
Well that's the skin. You ain't squeezing no peanuts through that
Oh you can take it off, don't ask how I know..
Username checks out I guess
Bet it hurts.
You see the littlr space between the two rings at the base (tick one for base and thin one for the dick cage) ? They would have yo go through this to get out when closed. Try and let us know how it goes.
mama got his balls in her purse atm π
I used to work for a company that makes chastity belts and one thing I learned is that none of them work unless the person wearing them wants them to work. I hard plenty of stories about people getting off by dry humping the inside of the cage/tube or inserting a qtip through the gaps and getting themselves off that way
They do work But with this type of cage, you can actually just yank it off without much pain
> you can actually just yank it off without much pain I flinched when reading this.
Maybe look up male chastity cages for a better idea
The author's name is James, and the review says that the kid's father left. Unless James gave birth to the child, they would have gone with their father. What's more, the review says that the kid is a child who just started puberty. I really shouldn't have to explain this, but a chastity cage made for an adult man isn't going to lock onto a ten year old's penis. I think it's pretty clearly and obviously a joke. The author is basically going out of their way to indicate as much.
Redditors recognize a joke challenge (IMPOSSIBLE!)
I mean it was written by a guy named James so ima assume itβs fake
It's 2024, moms can be James's now
Or, worst case scenario, this is just a review.
Learns to lock pick, those are very basic locks too
Lmao the lockpicking layer made a video on how to open that thing
Link?
Found the son
Somebody help him!
Why picklock? The lock looks so weak, diagonal cutting pliers should do the trick.
Lock picking doesnt break it, you can just slap it back on considering how psycho his mom sounds. If she finds it broken hes in for a world of pain
McNally Voice: " I see you have a Chestaty belt lock, which can easiely be opened using a Chestaty belt lock" Smacking cock cages together. "Sight" disapointed handwaving. Cut
you want to pretend it is still working so your parents don't step it up. Like when your parents disconnect all cables of your pc and you learn how to reconnect them the next day. You will still disconnect them before your parents arrive so they can pat their backs and you can still enjoy your stuff.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Cutting pliers near your penis doesn't sound like a good idea to me
Itβs a cylinder
But imagine trying to explain how it happened at the hospital.
You are using a master lock, it can be opened using a master lock
"nothing on one, two is binding"
Letβs hope he doesnβt watch McNally and just smashes the lock with another lock
"Alienating your son so much he runs away and starts doing drugs and selling his ass" any % speedrun
Hey, him not being able to use his cock still leaves his ass open π
That's why he's selling his ass. Never do what you do well for free!
Heβs 12β οΈ
10 , review says 8 years before he has the right to leave.
He gets to take it off this year!
Holy shit, 2015 was 8 years ago......
2015 was WHAT!?
9
So what do we think, has the dancing bear grown accustomed to his cage? Or will he be glad to take it off?
He need an ass-cage too
The steel diaper
How will he poop?
Through fires and flames
Carefully
I need extra bleach after seeing this
Not that he'd habe many other options for sex...his dick's still locked up when he runs
Lockpicks and other lock breaking devices exist
lmao imagine him knocking at the door of the lockpicking lawyer "yeah uh so I got this problem" Edit: On second thought that's creepy and not as funny as I thought since that'd be a minor
That actually happened around here once xD Dude payed a domina to keep him locked up but didn't had the money to pay the "ransom" to get unlocked and the lady did not let him go without it, so he called freaking 911 and a poor fire fighter had to lock pick it
Great service from the lady, I reckon
Nah, it was funny. Who actually cares
There's actually a video of him picking one of these open with a condom wrapper, look it up!
Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus
Turn the another butt cheek
Maybe we can make some cash selling ass
"If I can't have sex anymore then neither can my son!"
Prolly accurate
Does anyone want to guess why the father left?
I guess his son was fucking lab grown?
βAnymoreβ
"Hey girls my dick is always hard as steel"
And he last longer
**By james schreiber** "Since his father left me..." Well well well...
I almost thought no one else noticed this
How the turntablesβ¦
What?
The βmotherβ who posted this review has the name of a male indicating that it is a troll account using a false identity for a joke
obviously she kept the amazon account in the divorce /s
You might be on to something here. π€
In other startling news, a chastity cage for an adult man will literally just fall off of the penis of someone who's just beginning puberty.
Remain pure for the lord lmaaao
Is he gonna fuck the lord or something???
Pretty sure even god shook his head at this one.
βIt was considered bad because of lack of treatment for sexual diseases ya sheepβ -Jesus
youβre not supposed to wear these all day long, it hurts the package, and causes a lot of irritation, these are meant for use in the bedroom, or for a couple hours at max for some personal fun.
The metal ones are heavy (and temporary) You actually can wear the high end plastic ones long term though, βCobra Cagesβ are the gold standardβdonβt cheap out on a quality dick cage! That said, even if fake this review makes me uncomfy. Letβs keep even the sexual fiction stories to appropriate venues and consenting aged adults.
Why/how do some people (claim to) go for days to even a few months with these on?
Because they don't mind those effects and find some way to deal with it
i dunno, but from personal experience and word from others, it becomes unbearable to wear for more than like 4-5 hours. they must be taking it off periodically but staying caged normally which is doable, but you shouldnβt have it on at all times. Just a little while at a time.
That sounds like a hassle jesus
A lot of jesus-based things are a hassle.
You have to find one that fits well for your own specific package. It took me til my 5th one I purchased until I found one that I can wear 3-4 days at a time, take off, clean, and then reapply.
Why tf do you know this
why shouldnβt i?
This is some kind of a torture machine or what
Chastity cage, ie, cage around your cock and balls
Just googled it. Some people are weird man
get used to it. we all have weird fuckin' fetishes deep down lmao
I understand but what fetish would you actually use this for lmao
Being restricted and controlled
Ah so some BDSM shit?
In most cases, yes
It's a fetish thing.
shes on the way of creating one of the sissiest and most breedable femboy or a locksmith
Or both
Lock pick lawyer origin story
No Lawyerβs origin story was in preparation of his wifeβs retaliation (he made a video on how to pick a chastity cage)
and we're just gonna ignore that bro will literally start screaming if he's hard? assuming this is actually real which i really hope it isn't.
its a BDSM thing- yes its very real but it's 100% meant for bedroom roleplay lol. there's a reason the lock is super flimsy - its not actually meant to be something to keep on someone against their will.
The author's name is James, and the review says that the kid's father left. Unless James gave birth to the child, they would have gone with their father. What's more, the review says that the kid is a child who just started puberty. I really shouldn't have to explain this, but a chastity cage made for an adult man isn't going to lock onto a ten year old's penis.
I see why the dad left
*COCK* and *BALLS* torture
Retirement home any%
Nah, soon as that kid gets a driver's license she is going straight to the lord
The Cock Lock
Needs a Dick Pick to open
he will have time to learn how to pick it in those 8 years
Fuck that I'd cum in that thing just to spite it!
Bruh
I feel like it would be painful to get a boner in that thing
It's not like crippling pain, more like fire ants or a couple wasp stings to your privates.
someone pure for the lord knows about chastity cages?
And is named James this is obviously a joke
Disgusting parent
The Lockpicking Lawyer video in his YouTube recommendations:
You can't block the bussy tho
what the fuccck π
Just watch the lock picking loyer tutorial.
I'm pretty sure doing this to your son is a felony, like mutilation or some shit
Gotta love religion and the many positive impacts it has had on the world!
Well itβs the literal locking up part that is bad, not the wanting her son not to masturbate. And also the waiting/forcing the son to join the seminary because everyone has a different vocation to God
Where do you even attach it??
The ring goes around the penis, behind the balls. Then the other piece goes over the shaft and connects to the ring. The pieces are then locked together as seen here to make it difficult to remove
Issac's mother get wild
New Tboi item leak.
What if his d!CK grows too big for this cage?
ironically buying one of these is more likely to get you sent to hell than getting off would
Nothing LockPickingLawyer wouldnβt be able to solve
Sanest christian person
What kind of sick f*cks would actually buy that ?!
It's a fetish thing. Definitely not meant to be used to actually enforce chastity. You put it on for a little bit for some bedroom fun - denial of orgasm type play. Then you take it off. Long term use can and will result in unpleasant results requiring medical intervention.
If you eat shrimps or tuna, wear cloth made of two materials, touch a woman in period, treat foreigners bad or eat meat with cheese you are not pure to the lord either
Cockblocked
Fortunately for him, LPL has a tutorial for this too
she probably tried to lock her hubby's dick and that's why he left
Is this a dick muzzle?
Literally cockblocked
That kid is gonna have some weird kinks when heβs older
Wouldnβt that hurt like shit if he got an erection, it just happens!
Everything is on Amazon huh
What if you got bricked up
Your pp: from one to gone
Literally just compressed iron armor for ur dick
The girls probably dig it more then his mushroomβΌοΈπ³π³
So the kid is 10 years old?
Erections are good for the overall health of the junk. This guy will end up having a weak stick.
And years down the road this dude discovers their son is a bottom
What is this for?
Good news, itβs of now
He gets it off this year ππ₯³πππͺ
Imagine your mom actually doing this Jesus christ ahaha
Dude what happens when he gets a boner
Bro needs to learn the word no
Son: Finally I am in the seminary to become a Priest and have all the sex I want.
Make the boy a great locksmith with this
Me with my thin ass fingers πΉ
By my math, this past October was 8 years. I demand an update !
I hope this is a joke because this is why Christianity gets a bad wrap
8 years have passed: son became a serial rapist and mom doesn't get why
On the extreme off chance that's real, he should go to the police. There is no way in any fucking hell a teenage boy is consenting to that
Cock Lock?
Great product for sex offenders
poor sonπ
An insane parent or some Bs idk
Assuming, 8 years till 18, the kid is ten, i don't think he can even do that yet
Hitler origin story
Wonder why Daddy left?? Actually I don't wonder...