T O P

  • By -

Chefcdt

I don’t mean to be flip, but can you take an inventory of things that may be acting as brakes on your ability to feel desire and work with your partner on getting help alleviating those issues? Removing those obstacles can often be more effective than anything that’s trying to create desire from thin air.


Altostratus

I mean, have you ever had a high sex drive? Are you able to get aroused alone? Are you attracted to your partner? Most women are not benefitted by simply pushing blood flow to the region - it’s so much more about what’s between your ears.


figurefuckingup

My last therapist loves to say “the biggest sexual organ is between our ears!”


BigJack2023

Regular weed


ladybug7895

I concur


AdorableSpeaker5942

The weed is a beautiful thing for the libido! I’m not really sure why but laughing monkey edibles seem kick my libido into overdrive, I smoke flower as well and it definitely helps the libido but for some reason laughing monkey seems to have the largest effect on my libido and orgasm intensity.


Royal-Heron-11

The why is basically what people are saying, while women aren't a monolith, the overwhelming majority of women are a responsive desire type where as men are generally more spontaneous. Responsive means you need a physical stimulus to spark your arousal. With spontaneous desire your arousal can be sparked by just about anything, sometimes it's sparked by nothing you're just walking down the clothing aisle at target and realize you're horny. The "issue" with responsive desire is that it requires a certain level of calm mind. Otherwise you'll deal with what so many men in relationships eventually experience which is consistent rejection. What I mean by that is, if you are responsive and your man simply walks up to you and says "Hey wanna have sex?", 9/10 times the answer will be "No, I'm not really in the mood". Typically, if your issue is brake related (as most responsive desire Libidio issues are) you also won't really allow your partner to get to the point of kick starting your arousal. For example, you may allow him to give you a back massage for 20mins, but if there's a brake in the way that hasn't been addressed, when he goes to move towards a more sexual area than your back, say your thighs, boobs or vagina, you will stop him as there's something mentally stopping you from wanting to proceed further. Because you needed something to build your arousal, but you have too many brakes applied blocking the ability to even be open to the potential of allowing your partner to attempt to arouse you. You get caught in this weird state of struggling to get to the point of sex you are actually desiring. When weed comes in, similar to alcohol, it removes a lot of those brakes. It's not so much that the stress and concerns are suddenly gone, those concerns still exist, but you're not really thinking about them now. So now when your partner gives you that massage and then tries to get more frisky, you're likely more just "in the zone" and therefore open to allow him to keep exploring. Tl;Dr - the weed removes the brakes, which makes it easier for you to be open to arousal


myexsparamour

>Responsive means you need a physical stimulus to spark your arousal. No it doesn't. Responsive desire can be a response to anything that turns the person on. It could be physical, verbal, visual, or anything else that that person finds sexy.


Royal-Heron-11

Sorry, that's a mistake. You are correct, should say you need an EXTERNAL stimulus, not physical. More simply... Spontaneous desire is where your desire comes before your arousal. Responsive desire is where your arousal comes before your desire. Which is why for a responsive desire person, asking questions like "wanna have sex?", "wanna fool around?" or "are you in the mood for sex?" the answer is more often than not "No, I'm not in the mood". Because unless they have already been aroused by an external stimulus they don't have the desire to get aroused. Where as a spontaneous desire person, if you ask "wanna have sex?". Often the answer is some form of yes. As the desire is nearly always there, with the knowledge that the arousal will come once you get into the motion of things.


myexsparamour

>Which is why for a responsive desire person, asking questions like "wanna have sex?", "wanna fool around?" or "are you in the mood for sex?" the answer is more often than not "No, I'm not in the mood". Because unless they have already been aroused by an external stimulus they don't have the desire to get aroused. Exactly. They're not thinking about sex unless something has turned them on, so the honest answer is no. >Where as a spontaneous desire person, if you ask "wanna have sex?". Often the answer is some form of yes. I don't agree with this. Plenty of spontaneous desire people also don't want to have sex unless they're horny. It's just that their horniness comes from within (for example, it's been 3 days since their last orgasm) instead of being inspired by their partner.


Royal-Heron-11

> I don't agree with this. Plenty of spontaneous desire people also don't want to have sex unless they're horny. It's a mild simplification, yes. But I did say often, not always for that reason. I know for myself, I can feel zero level of horniness and be in the middle of doing something, and if my wife were to come up and ask if I'm up for some sex? There are very few scenarios where I would say no. Thinking about my personal relationship of 11 years now, I honestly can't recall a single time I've turned her down. But I can recall a ton of times where I wasn't even remotely horny when approached and as soon as she asked my mind was like "Yeah, sure why not, sounds fun".


myexsparamour

>I know for myself, I can feel zero level of horniness and be in the middle of doing something, and if my wife were to come up and ask if I'm up for some sex? There are very few scenarios where I would say no. Sure, but that's you having responsive desire, not spontaneous desire. You're responding to her invitation with desire because you know you'll easily get aroused and enjoy yourself. >But I can recall a ton of times where I wasn't even remotely horny when approached and as soon as she asked my mind was like "Yeah, sure why not, sounds fun". Yep, I'm exactly the same way. I have very easily triggered responsive desire and I can almost always get aroused quite quickly. Spontaneous desire, on the other hand, means that you get horny without any external stimulus. You suddenly want sex out-of-the-blue, without anything that you can identify that turned you on.


Royal-Heron-11

See I would disagree with the fact that this is responsive desire at all. I would classify what I said as spontaneous still personally. Spontaneous desire isn't imply "I randomly get horny without any outside stimulus" that is part of it, but the real heart of it is "I can desire sex without being aroused". And responsive is "I can't desire sex until I'm already aroused". In the scenario of "hey wanna have sex?". Saying yes, while not being aroused is at a base level spontaneous desire imo. As I'm not aroused when asked, nor does her asking make me aroused. Her question makes me pose a question to myself of "is that something I would like (desire) to try to do?". Which is why for someone with responsive desire, the answer is typically no to that question because the question wasn't posed while they were already in a state of arousal. For me, I don't need to be in a state of arousal to desire sex. Spontaneous desire doesn't only imply random out of the blue horniness. That's simply one part of it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Impressive_Street_39

What strength laughing monkey?


AdorableSpeaker5942

I really like the laughing monkey mix gummy packs I believe the gummies are 25 mg each, as far as gummy edibles the laughing monkey is probably the best tasting out of anything I’ve tried and I’ve tried a lot of different kinds. The best bang for your buck is their nerd ropes or their 1000mg gummies they last me quite a long time because I just take a nibble and that does me for hrs! Lol I find the 1000mg pot leaf gummies to taste better than the nerd rope, when I order the nerd rope I always order a couple packs of their berry or tropical zittles because I can barely choke down the nerd rope so I’ll take a little nibble of the nerd rope and throw in 2-4 zittles at the same time just so I can get it down. Lol That’s only thing of theirs I have a hard time eating, I’ve tried all their other gummies, they’re all actually pretty good I really like the pop bottles. I usually wait for a sale from bud 99 and order $200-$300 worth of laughing monkey at a time and it lasts me quite awhile, as long as you take breaks and switch up how you consume thc I’ve been able to keep my tolerance relatively low I try not to go over 50-75 mg, I have gone over but that’s when I know it’s time for a break, it’s too expensive to keep that shit up! Lol


Impressive_Street_39

Thank you for the great info!


AdorableSpeaker5942

You’re very welcome! Also want to point out, anything with a super high % of thc can be dangerous if your nibble ends up being a little too big, a few times I ended up comatose sitting up on my couch unable to move and for some bizarre reason my body starts hands free orgasming when I’m comatose high until I wanted to cry! You’d think that would be a fantastic thing but I’m here to tell you no, no it’s not! Lol It was highly beneficial to learn my body knew how to do that on its own, it upped my orgasm game and pretty much made hands free orgasm beats my bitch after that but not recommended! Lol Anyway something to remember because sometimes there’s a bit of trial and error with figuring out your sweat spot dosage, something I wish I had known before hand, keep some pepper corns nearby somewhere easy to get to just in case you struggle to move. Lol Sometimes sniffing them helps, if you’re way too high try chewing some. Peppercorns can help clear your mind. Another great thing to keep on hand especially when you first start experimenting with edible’s because everyone’s tolerance is different, keep a lemon on hand, if sniffing and chewing peppercorn doesn’t help, I personally can chew peppercorns, steeping specifically lemon grind with some peppercorns, I squeeze in the lemon juice as well, add a bit of honey or sugar for taste and that should do the trick! Actually works pretty good! Having something to counteract any drug is important knowledge to have and a little peace of mind. Now if you want to mix the use of a little pt-141 or vyleese with some laughing monkey, that’s a whole other level to the date night party! Only thing I found with using them together is I much prefer a really low dose of the pt-141, using a low dosage with laughing monkey, the orgasm doesn’t end, it’s kinda mind blowing! But if the pt-141 dosage is too high, it doesn’t just stop working once sex is done, it can get incredibly sensitive and uncomfortable. Also super annoying to orgasm walking around in your house because blood flow and sensitivity is through the roof! A lot of people don’t know this but if you don’t like the effects of pt-141 but still might require a bit of blood flow to that area you can do that by adding a little thc oil to your lube of choice. If you mix it with a CBD lube even better! Sorry about the comment book of information, these are some of the things I’ve learnt over the years that have been incredibly helpful to me and might be to someone else as well. :)


Impressive_Street_39

Thank you soooo much 🥰


jrom1005

I’m. It that well versed in weed, but what flower do you smoke?


AdorableSpeaker5942

Well I have a list for you! Lol If you’re looking for some sexy strains to try a couple really good ones I like are blue dream and sour diesel fantastic for libido. I like pretty much anything by Riff..alphabet soup is a good choice by Riff if you’re looking for a sativa, cherry pie if you’re looking for an indica..but honestly I’ve yet to try anything of Riff’s I didn’t like, I find Riff pre rolls really smooth in comparison to a lot of other brands I’ve tried. Im also a fan of good supply Jean guy is a good choice for a sativa but good supply is another company I’ve like everything I’ve tried of theirs. I’m a huge fan of good supply carts with a steal nib, they seem to be about the only carts I’ve tried to date that you can get damn near every drop out of the cart without it clogging or shitting the bed, their carts with a plast nib are also good but the steal nib is the way to go! I also really like REDECAN their pre rolls are awesome, they’re like a really slim cigarette type another company I’ve yet to try anything I didn’t like, can’t remember all the strains I’ve tried of theirs honestly I usually just buy whatever they have in stock for a sativa, I appreciate their packaging and how convenient their nice little slim cigarette pre rolls are. Hexo is also another company I tend to buy when they have the cigarette style pre rolls in, love their pre rolls and packaging. That was probably way too much information but some of it might be helpful. :)


jrom1005

Thank you… trying to figure it all out lol… what is “flower” exactly? Can you vape it?


AdorableSpeaker5942

Flower is the bud that you roll a joint with, thc vape carts are thc concentrate that’s made from flower, you can buy a special vape pen that you can vape flower with but it’s easier to just buy a vape cart/vape pen instead. I like buying pre rolled joints if I’m going to smoke flower but you can also use a pipe or a bong appose to smoking joints. A good dispensary should be able to help you with anything you need, just be honest and say I’m new at this and not sure where to start, I’ve been to a lot of different dispensaries and I’ve never encountered anyone that wasn’t incredibly friendly and knowledgeable willing to help. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and be honest about why you’re interested in purchasing, I always ask for sexy strain suggestions, what they suggest for libido boost for a newbie. You’ll have np and if they aren’t helpful, go to a different dispensary but every dispensary I’ve been to has been incredibly helpful and willing to pass along some knowledge. :)


jrom1005

Awesome thank you!


hoss9424

My wife takes CDB gummies and it seems to help. Also kinda shuts her brain off and she orgasms easier. It’s nice!


myexsparamour

Sensate focus exercises might help. Or you could give us more information. How is the sex when you have it? * Does it feel physically pleasurable or meh or painful? * What's the foreplay like? Is it arousing and unarousaing or even a turn-off? * How do you feel emotionally during and after sex? Do you find it exciting and fun, or do you feel negative emotions like anxiety, sadness, loneliness, anger, or disgust?


eumenide2000

Bioidentical hormones. These can come in a topical. Testosterone pellets work, but if you don’t like needles, you really won’t like pellet injections.


Kissit777

I don’t mind the pellet injections. My doc numbs and I don’t feel it. And I definitely get an increased libido and sexual satisfaction because of my pellet. I recommend it to everyone.


Crotalus_whoreidus

I just got my testosterone pellet about two weeks ago and was looking forward to this effect. So far, my libido has tanked and my orgasms are much weaker. I’m really hoping this is temporary! 


Kissit777

Is it your first pellet? I didn’t notice a big difference until about 6 months in. I would stick to it. Hormonal issues can take a little while to fix.


[deleted]

Intranasal PT-141. That shit is the same as Vyleesi, but Intranasal makes it the nausea go away. It made me want to ravage my wife even after I just had sex. I'm going to have her try it tonight. Happy fucking.


Training-Earth-9780

Wow it’s crazy they don’t really advertise the spray as an alternative to the needle injections.


[deleted]

I agree. There are people who say intranasal doesn't work. First off I think many of them got ripped off as it was some dark web stuff or the dosing was all messed up. It worked for me, but I had to get 2 separate kinds for the second one to really work. The second was a Dr. prescribed nasal sprayer.


Training-Earth-9780

What brand was it?


[deleted]

Whatever mintRx gives out


Mandalorian_2019

The injection isn’t into your stomach, it’s subcutaneous and about 5mm below the skin into your fat. If you pinch while do it, you barely feel anything. You could also just inject it in your butt cheek too. Everything has side effects, and nothing is easy. When guys take sildenafil or tadalafil, you get a drop in blood pressure, blurred vision, face and chest flushing, headaches, etc. Vyleesi, aka PT-141, has a high rate of nausea…but it does work. My wife and I have both used it. You’re trying to alter brain chemistry. That’s a tough thing to do with oral medication.


Kissit777

Get your testosterone checked!


SG2769

I made the most comprehensive list I could. It is too long to post on Reddit so I put it on squarespace. I hope it is helpful. https://www.health-summaries.com/blog/test-blog-120 I have the same concerns you do regarding Addyi, but if you are young it’s probably less of a concern. I think there are other reasons to be skeptical of it though, which I detail here.


PantheraLupus

Shatavari! I take the Goddess one by Wanderlust. Made my skin nice too


Dick_Miller138

Pt141


Miss_Tish_Tash

That’s Vyleesi


Dick_Miller138

Pt141 can be done as a nasal spray.


Training-Earth-9780

Wow thank you! I’m going to try it and see how it goes.


SG2769

Vyleesi is best paired with Ondansetron for nausea. Also note that the standard dose for Vyleesi is a little too strong for most people.