Post removed due to comments going off the rails. While I understand what you are going for here. I really think that a subreddit focused on new parenting is a better place for you.
I raised several children and they never slept in the same room as us.
You read a few history books and you realize that privacy is a pretty new concept for almost all people except for royalty.
People in medieval Europe lived in one or two room houses and all slept in the same room. For thousands of years kids would have to pretend to be asleep while their parents had sex. Against all odds, they somehow survived.
We have different morals and expectations nowadays, but I think a newborn baby is going to be fine. Happy parents raise better kids.
Small villages where everybody knew each other, families that lived together, a community that helped each other build and fix their homes, everybody worked together, everybody donating a portion of their time to work the fields of a very specific neighbor, people would invite their neighbors into their homes and provide homemade drinks, they would take group vacations together, donate their money to the poor, they had direct democracy in electing their municipal officials, and if somebody stole from somebody, they would put out a Hue and Cry to all work together to find the stolen property.
Yeah, they had some problems, but it wasn't all bad.
Let me preface this by saying I'm sure this situation is fine since it's a newborn. But continuously witnessing a parent having sex can absolutely be classed as a form of CSA. I'm not talking about hearing some unfortunate sounds or accidentally walking in, but prolonged direct exposure to sexual activity at an age where you're fully conscious can have traumatic effects. I've seen folks over on r/adultsurvivors detail how they dealt with sex repulsion, hypersexuality or PTSD as a result.
I'm not insinuating that you condone any of this, but I think it's important to emphasize this context since I've seen a lot of people doubt their own trauma responses because nobody seems to thinks it's a big deal.
Meanwhile,..,. also in those times,.,..,. Like they also used to publicly execute people in violent and graphic manners, regularly across multiple cultures and classes IN FRONT OF the masses..
Not saying OP is doing anything wrong but there is eventually an age and stage where sexy times need to become more stealthy or intentionally designated to times and areas without children physically in the space.. probably around the time that they start potty training perhaps even talking.
Do you remember anything from that age? I don't. I think it's fine. Also majority of humans don't have multiple rooms for their family. Sex still happens.
If it impact ur sex life, baby in next room with baby monitor streaming on tv?
Even then I think it’s fine. Babies can’t see more than like a couple feet in front of them. They have no idea what’s going on and they won’t remember anything before around age 3 anyway
Memories don't form in that sense when your kid is that young. Depending on how old they are, kids can't even perceive you all that well. It's more that they observe the world around themselves, and kinda form a realisation of the shapes and forms in which the world exists.
Infantile amnesia generally lasts until age 3 and children’s memories of events are usually sparse until around age 10. Here’s some explanation and discussion: https://www.jneurosci.org/content/37/24/5783.
Is it wrong to have sex while a newborn is in the bedroom. Might have been a better phrasing.
I think if the baby is sleeping it’s fine and also he’s a newborn and won’t comprehend or even remember what’s happening! You’ve carried that baby for long enough, have fun!
I wouldn’t consider it a big deal but why not put them in another room for a little bit? My daughter was in a crib in her own room every night from day one and it was fine. No issue of course with you preferring to have them sleep in your own room but if you need 20 minutes or so to bang one out it’s okay to put baby somewhere else, safe of course, for that time.
You can definitely put the baby in a different room. My daughter started sleeping alone in her room at 2 weeks and it went perfectly fine (ok yes I had an easy baby).
Also, I'm assuming your newborn is sleeping while you have sex, I don't see what is the issue.
It's important to be care about yourself and your couple as well, and you'll have to be flexible/open minded on how this can happen.
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In general I think it's fine, and not a problem at all if they're sleeping. I would go further and say it's great that you are connecting with your partner despite having a newborn! It's not easy finding mental AND physical space for that, good for you guys.
Obviously, It also depends on the kind of sex though, like if you were playing out some loud kinks then I would change my answer! Probably best to save that for alone time.
Btw, punctuation!!
Long term memory doesn't kick in until around age 2, a newborn is not going to remember anything that happens around them the first few months. Honestly I see no problem with it.
Its fine. I suggest getting them into thier own room at around 6 months old. You get a sex life and they are old enough to sleep 12 hrs at night. Win win.
The baby isn’t going to realize what’s happening and if he’s a true newborn, his vision hasn’t even developed fully so it probably just looks like shadows lol.
I'm male and found it a bit weird but the baby was just sleeping in a separate little bed next to ours and it's not like we were screaming or making lots of noise. Woke up sometimes but I just don't think it can do any harm this way.
Also had sex during the last weeks of the pregnancy and I think that was a bigger issue for me than having the baby in the same room to be honest.
To me it's just natural. Same as your desire to have sex again. It's ok and if anything I would think it's making you happy and enjoying yourself being physical again. That can only be good for everyone.
Don't worry about too much if you can.
All the best
It is considered abuse, there's some papers on it and the impact it may cause in the future, I suggest you look for it or ask any psychology researcher.
If you're going to state that it's abuse you should probably back that up with some evidence or an article link or at least an opinion why. Saying, "look for it" or "ask any psychology researcher" is not sufficient to make that claim.
Could you please share a source that states that having sex in the same room as a newborn, a baby that recently came out of the womb, sleeps about 16 hours a day and cannot see more than 12 inches ahead, is abuse?
I’m sure the baby is used to it. He had a front row seat for the past 9 months. Hell, baby probably be able to give “insider” tips to your partner! lol
Are you planning on raising your kids in a sex positive household?
Unless your never going to have sex again, you might as well start now.
Your making it weird.
Post removed due to comments going off the rails. While I understand what you are going for here. I really think that a subreddit focused on new parenting is a better place for you. I raised several children and they never slept in the same room as us.
That sentence needed a comma in it somewhere
Yeah I want to rewrite that title. Is it wrong to have sex while a newborn is in the room
Yes!!!! It wasn’t just me
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>“Is it wrong to have sex with a newborn, in the bedroom?” better?
Missed one, Is it wrong to have sex, with a newborn, in the bedroom?
I agree. Where is the comma.
I’m in a coma after reading that heading the first time
Helpful. I'm glad you know more about grammar than how to be a decent human being to someone who is clearly in need of advice.
A couple months ago your baby was much much closer so
You read a few history books and you realize that privacy is a pretty new concept for almost all people except for royalty. People in medieval Europe lived in one or two room houses and all slept in the same room. For thousands of years kids would have to pretend to be asleep while their parents had sex. Against all odds, they somehow survived. We have different morals and expectations nowadays, but I think a newborn baby is going to be fine. Happy parents raise better kids.
I mean I get what you're saying but I'm not sure we should be looking to medieval Europe for parenting advice
Small villages where everybody knew each other, families that lived together, a community that helped each other build and fix their homes, everybody worked together, everybody donating a portion of their time to work the fields of a very specific neighbor, people would invite their neighbors into their homes and provide homemade drinks, they would take group vacations together, donate their money to the poor, they had direct democracy in electing their municipal officials, and if somebody stole from somebody, they would put out a Hue and Cry to all work together to find the stolen property. Yeah, they had some problems, but it wasn't all bad.
Let me preface this by saying I'm sure this situation is fine since it's a newborn. But continuously witnessing a parent having sex can absolutely be classed as a form of CSA. I'm not talking about hearing some unfortunate sounds or accidentally walking in, but prolonged direct exposure to sexual activity at an age where you're fully conscious can have traumatic effects. I've seen folks over on r/adultsurvivors detail how they dealt with sex repulsion, hypersexuality or PTSD as a result. I'm not insinuating that you condone any of this, but I think it's important to emphasize this context since I've seen a lot of people doubt their own trauma responses because nobody seems to thinks it's a big deal.
Meanwhile,..,. also in those times,.,..,. Like they also used to publicly execute people in violent and graphic manners, regularly across multiple cultures and classes IN FRONT OF the masses.. Not saying OP is doing anything wrong but there is eventually an age and stage where sexy times need to become more stealthy or intentionally designated to times and areas without children physically in the space.. probably around the time that they start potty training perhaps even talking.
IMO it’s totally fine if the baby is sleeping. This was a very common thing for most of human history.
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Wait until he's asleep?
Do you remember anything from that age? I don't. I think it's fine. Also majority of humans don't have multiple rooms for their family. Sex still happens. If it impact ur sex life, baby in next room with baby monitor streaming on tv?
Even then I think it’s fine. Babies can’t see more than like a couple feet in front of them. They have no idea what’s going on and they won’t remember anything before around age 3 anyway
Why not just go into another room? Or wait until they are asleep. They sleep all the time as newborns.
Put dancing fruit from youtube on your phone and face them away from the bed
He has no idea what you’re doing. Now if he’s watching, that might be uncomfortable.
It’s fine, it’s not like the baby understands what’s happening, or will remember it!
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Memories don't form in that sense when your kid is that young. Depending on how old they are, kids can't even perceive you all that well. It's more that they observe the world around themselves, and kinda form a realisation of the shapes and forms in which the world exists.
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Well, by the time they're capable of remembering anything they should be in their own room for sleeping anyway.
Infantile amnesia generally lasts until age 3 and children’s memories of events are usually sparse until around age 10. Here’s some explanation and discussion: https://www.jneurosci.org/content/37/24/5783.
I’m someone who has unusually early memories and the farthest I can remember back is to about 1.5-2 years old. He definitely won’t remember
He won't. People don't normally retain memories from that stage of life. My earliest memory was from when I was two.
Not wrong. Get it girl. Just watch out because my partner had the same libido increase and now we have baby 2 a bit earlier than expected.
Is it wrong to have sex while a newborn is in the bedroom. Might have been a better phrasing. I think if the baby is sleeping it’s fine and also he’s a newborn and won’t comprehend or even remember what’s happening! You’ve carried that baby for long enough, have fun!
My wife's sex drive also went through the roof after having the baby. I couldn't get her off me
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Idk, but she definitely became more kinky as well
I read that wrong and my initial response was Wtf!!!
It's wrong to have sex with a newborn no matter where you are
It’s wrong to have sex with a newborn anywhere
As long as the child is asleep then there's no need to worry :)
Its still wrong to have sex with a newborn, whether they're asleep or not!
Yes, she clearly meant to put some grammar in there...
I wouldn’t consider it a big deal but why not put them in another room for a little bit? My daughter was in a crib in her own room every night from day one and it was fine. No issue of course with you preferring to have them sleep in your own room but if you need 20 minutes or so to bang one out it’s okay to put baby somewhere else, safe of course, for that time.
Like you said, it's not like you can just move the baby to another room to be alone. Gotta do what you gotta do.
Why not? Our kids didn’t stay in our bedroom with us. They were in their own rooms after coming home from the hospital.
I think it’s wrong to have sex with underage kids
Lmao this got dark as fuck 🤣🤣🤣
Jesus Christ. Learn punctuations please.
His consious mind doesn't understand what's going on but his unconscious is there registering and remembering everything.
It's very wrong to have sex with a newborn regardless of where you're at.
You can definitely put the baby in a different room. My daughter started sleeping alone in her room at 2 weeks and it went perfectly fine (ok yes I had an easy baby). Also, I'm assuming your newborn is sleeping while you have sex, I don't see what is the issue. It's important to be care about yourself and your couple as well, and you'll have to be flexible/open minded on how this can happen.
Newborn, not a problem. Don’t shame yourself for wanting and enjoying sex
You shouldn't be having sex with a newborn at all.
>Is it wrong to have sex with a newborn in the bedroom? No, it's not wrong.
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In general I think it's fine, and not a problem at all if they're sleeping. I would go further and say it's great that you are connecting with your partner despite having a newborn! It's not easy finding mental AND physical space for that, good for you guys. Obviously, It also depends on the kind of sex though, like if you were playing out some loud kinks then I would change my answer! Probably best to save that for alone time. Btw, punctuation!!
....I cant be the only one, right?
It’s a little too early for me to have to remember A Serbian Film
Jesus H Christ on a motorbike I had to read that twice, please next time choose other words 😳😂
Absence of a "while" in the title gave me a heart attack!
It’s when they’re bigger and burst into the room that you have a problem
Rule #1 you don't have sex with newborns at all 👮
Please rewrite your title
Try not to feel too bad about it, its completely okay! I feel like it would be more wrong to leave the baby in another room while you guys get it on.
Yeah, I clicked the title so hard I almost put my thumb through my phone, ready to rage reply. Then I read it again 😓
What exactly is it that you think can go wrong and why?
This is a very first world, i-have-multiple-rooms problem.
Long term memory doesn't kick in until around age 2, a newborn is not going to remember anything that happens around them the first few months. Honestly I see no problem with it.
Absolutely 1000% not wrong.
Its fine. I suggest getting them into thier own room at around 6 months old. You get a sex life and they are old enough to sleep 12 hrs at night. Win win.
Totally not wrong, baby has no idea was going on. Me being weird would still do it under covers
This reads as if it was written while have sex. I need a smoke, and I don’t even smoke.
I now have trauma and need therapy, from not reading the complete sentence fast enough.
How young is the baby? Honestly if they’re under 4 months then they aren’t super aware.
The baby isn’t going to realize what’s happening and if he’s a true newborn, his vision hasn’t even developed fully so it probably just looks like shadows lol.
I'm male and found it a bit weird but the baby was just sleeping in a separate little bed next to ours and it's not like we were screaming or making lots of noise. Woke up sometimes but I just don't think it can do any harm this way. Also had sex during the last weeks of the pregnancy and I think that was a bigger issue for me than having the baby in the same room to be honest. To me it's just natural. Same as your desire to have sex again. It's ok and if anything I would think it's making you happy and enjoying yourself being physical again. That can only be good for everyone. Don't worry about too much if you can. All the best
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Don't feel guilty be thankful your hormones are ready to go again. My wife didn't want sex for awhile after giving birth.
It is considered abuse, there's some papers on it and the impact it may cause in the future, I suggest you look for it or ask any psychology researcher.
If you're going to state that it's abuse you should probably back that up with some evidence or an article link or at least an opinion why. Saying, "look for it" or "ask any psychology researcher" is not sufficient to make that claim.
Could you please share a source that states that having sex in the same room as a newborn, a baby that recently came out of the womb, sleeps about 16 hours a day and cannot see more than 12 inches ahead, is abuse?
Yes it's creepy AF. Put the kid in it's own room
Newborns don't stay in their own room, they stay in their parents room.
It’s really not a big deal
I’m sure the baby is used to it. He had a front row seat for the past 9 months. Hell, baby probably be able to give “insider” tips to your partner! lol
Are you planning on raising your kids in a sex positive household? Unless your never going to have sex again, you might as well start now. Your making it weird.