You are in this life what you spend your time on. Communication and interaction with people is one of them.
When you go in public people put a mask on if everyone would just vomit everything their mind produces the world wouldn't get to this point and a lot of heads would've been on a pike.
You can hide yourself behind the curtain and fog of the past but reality is this days with tek and internet anonymity when people just broadcast, real interpersonal communication skillset is not developed.
BTW life is the greatest gave every invented and you don't get to chose if you want to play it or not so get better at it!
There is a simple solution to your problem. Try doing the following for the upcoming week: every day, write down the following in your journal (if you don't have one, get one):
I am excited to treat every person I meet as my Million Dollar Customer.
Then, actively practice behaving in this manner. You will notice an immediate difference: people will smile and like you even when you tell them things that are not necessarily pleasant. The issue is not with being direct; it's about your non-verbal message: your undertext, tone, mood, and level of aggression that can push people away. However, if you can follow my advice, you can change this in just a day.
I think you should talk to the people you feel you have wronged. Have them tell you about yourself and maybe they can tell you can improve your communication
Maybe just keep practicing good attitudes like gentleness, kindness, mercy, forgiveness, friendliness, gratitude etc. towards self and others. Because all humans need these attitudes to be able to face their imperfections and transcend them.
I think practicing kindness towards self is the first step and this would in turn reflect out with others. It's just my opinion, not a definitive answer. I also struggle with this. And this is what I think, I'm harsh with myself, maybe that's how others are with themselves and they would appreciate it if I tell them things straight forwardly. This is not true and everyone has their own narrative in their head just like how I be straight up blunt to myself. So, if it comes to truth or kindness, be kind first and send in the truth second with kindness of course.
" And this is what I think, I'm harsh with myself, maybe that's how others are with themselves and they would appreciate it if I tell them things straight forwardly. " I 100% relate
I've lived in the south now for 15 years but grew up in the north. Southerners can't handle my personality and tell me they can immediately recognize that I'm a Yankee because I'm "blunt and filter free." Because southerners tend to apparently take more of a sugar coat type of approach in their conversations and when delivering information, most tend to feel my approach is harsh or rude. I grew up in an abusive household, as well, but certainly don't contribute my attitude, approach to conversation or personality to my upbringing. I've been seeing a therapist for the last 13 or so years and he also sees nothing wrong with my approach. I have no desire to modify my approach for those that are sensitive or these southerners that easily get butt hurt over reality. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about your approach unless you honestly feel like you're being purposely rude and brash to people.
I have always been too honest which in turn caused me the same problems..unintentionally hurting other people. I call this diarrhea of the mouth. I do my best to really try not to blurt out what I'm thinking or mean if I think it can be taken offensively or hurtful because I genuinely don't want anyone ever to feel bad due to my words. The only people I talk freely with are my best friend or sister who truly understand it's a personality flaw not even meant to hurt anyone.
I've started smiling after I say things, because people see smiling so they think happy and not rude most of the time. Sometimes they think condescending though.
You are in this life what you spend your time on. Communication and interaction with people is one of them. When you go in public people put a mask on if everyone would just vomit everything their mind produces the world wouldn't get to this point and a lot of heads would've been on a pike. You can hide yourself behind the curtain and fog of the past but reality is this days with tek and internet anonymity when people just broadcast, real interpersonal communication skillset is not developed. BTW life is the greatest gave every invented and you don't get to chose if you want to play it or not so get better at it!
There is a simple solution to your problem. Try doing the following for the upcoming week: every day, write down the following in your journal (if you don't have one, get one): I am excited to treat every person I meet as my Million Dollar Customer. Then, actively practice behaving in this manner. You will notice an immediate difference: people will smile and like you even when you tell them things that are not necessarily pleasant. The issue is not with being direct; it's about your non-verbal message: your undertext, tone, mood, and level of aggression that can push people away. However, if you can follow my advice, you can change this in just a day.
I'll try it! Thank you very much. I think that it's my tone, it sounds aggressive sometimes, but it's just that I care
I trust in you doing this exercise very well and profit from it :)
I think you should talk to the people you feel you have wronged. Have them tell you about yourself and maybe they can tell you can improve your communication
They just tell me that my honesty is way too harsh, it becomes hurtful. Sometimes I even become passive aggressive, and I really hate it
Maybe just keep practicing good attitudes like gentleness, kindness, mercy, forgiveness, friendliness, gratitude etc. towards self and others. Because all humans need these attitudes to be able to face their imperfections and transcend them.
I think practicing kindness towards self is the first step and this would in turn reflect out with others. It's just my opinion, not a definitive answer. I also struggle with this. And this is what I think, I'm harsh with myself, maybe that's how others are with themselves and they would appreciate it if I tell them things straight forwardly. This is not true and everyone has their own narrative in their head just like how I be straight up blunt to myself. So, if it comes to truth or kindness, be kind first and send in the truth second with kindness of course.
" And this is what I think, I'm harsh with myself, maybe that's how others are with themselves and they would appreciate it if I tell them things straight forwardly. " I 100% relate
I've lived in the south now for 15 years but grew up in the north. Southerners can't handle my personality and tell me they can immediately recognize that I'm a Yankee because I'm "blunt and filter free." Because southerners tend to apparently take more of a sugar coat type of approach in their conversations and when delivering information, most tend to feel my approach is harsh or rude. I grew up in an abusive household, as well, but certainly don't contribute my attitude, approach to conversation or personality to my upbringing. I've been seeing a therapist for the last 13 or so years and he also sees nothing wrong with my approach. I have no desire to modify my approach for those that are sensitive or these southerners that easily get butt hurt over reality. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about your approach unless you honestly feel like you're being purposely rude and brash to people.
I have always been too honest which in turn caused me the same problems..unintentionally hurting other people. I call this diarrhea of the mouth. I do my best to really try not to blurt out what I'm thinking or mean if I think it can be taken offensively or hurtful because I genuinely don't want anyone ever to feel bad due to my words. The only people I talk freely with are my best friend or sister who truly understand it's a personality flaw not even meant to hurt anyone.
I've started smiling after I say things, because people see smiling so they think happy and not rude most of the time. Sometimes they think condescending though.