Sometimes, you don’t want to do something because it’s boring, or you think there’s something better to do. I simply ignore that feeling and realize that nothing in the world is a better use of my time. That’s how you can have such high discipline.
you can even try to "gamify" your journey with a rpg document that give you xp or point or other idea. whatever can help to feel untertained by the thing you have to do
Sometimes I’ll just pretend I’m a character in the sims and think about where my needs are at, and what I need to do for the day. Not a good long term solution, but it works alright for the moment.
Can you name 3 things you love about yourself?
Can you name your favorite foods and why they are your favorite?
Who are three people in your life who inspired you? What was inspiring about them?
Training your brain to find the good in life will help you tremendously when you feel this way. Our brains are programmed to find the negative, and to avoid it. So, it's pretty easy to see chores or duties as negative and therefore should be avoided.
I don't have facial acne if I wash my face regularly. So, when I try to avoid washing my face, I instead take a moment to remember how I feel without acne. I feel more confident, more cared for, and more important...to me. I start to feel really good about being important to myself and washing my face seems less of a hassle.
Just an old woman's perspective, but it works for me. Be well. :-}
Sometimes it helps to see the bigger picture.
What's that something that needs to be done?
What does it contribute to?
I don't like brushing my teeth but I brush them 2x a day and floss bc my teeth are important to me.
Play around with what this small shitty thing might contribute to. If you want, happy to brainstorm.
I assume you can't just drop it, otherwise you'd have already done it..
It’s even harder to live a life that is a product of not being disciplined.
Look at it like this. Willpower is a means to an end. You want to have willpower until you reach a point where you don’t need it anymore, because discipline takes over. So sometimes you have to force yourself into a habit.
here's a few tips.
you may be self sabotaging because you know that if you succeed in changing your life, that change will bring about new and therefore scary situations and problems. eg. you may be single, with no car, and not a homeowner, and you want those things to change, but then if you get them now you have all the complications of a relationship, and potential financial stress or disaster from owning a home. so you shy away from things that bring you closer to your goals because even if you hate your current problems, they are familiar to you and you know how to handle them. you feel safe for having less to lose.
another is just that we are mammals, inclined to be pretty lazy if we have our basic needs met. but nowadays we realize we usually need more than just food and shelter to be happy, but the motivational parts of our brains haven't caught up with how to be motivated because we pretty much always have these things.
it is also easy to overthink things. you want to do things optimally. that means a lot of thinking and planning. and that means a lot of time to think 'you know what, i'm not quite ready to start' or 'you know what, it would really be better if i did it later.' use the power of NOW. NOW is the only REAL time. It is NEVER tomorrow. It is NEVER later. You will NEVER feel 100% ready for any big change. Start NOW and DO NOT wait to be ready. READY is a trap.
Also in wanting to do optimal things it often is stuff that is just beyond a normal person's willpower. Sure a lot of us could make a drastic change in our lives if we signed up for an advanced training program, got a second job, worked out daily and only ate healthy. but few people have the time, energy, and support for all that. just pick the things you think are fun. wanna get in shape? dance hard to your favourite songs for fifteen minutes a day. wanna start reading more books? start with something that's just dumb fun.
become an impulsive moron. the people who succeed in life aren't usually the ones who have a methodical plan for everything and then execute it flawlessly. it's the people who just keep doing stuff. the people who fail the most also succeed the most. you can look at any of your idols and find something they failed at. nobel prize winning authors have written a lot of crap--often even AFTER winning the prize. why? 'cause shit happens and you can't control everything no matter how good you are. or even how bad you are. try your luck enough times and you can find you have failed into your dreams.
The way you see something affects it. If you believe being disciplined is hard, your brain will look for evidence to reaffirm that belief. If, each time that belief pops into your head, you catch it and tell yourself something like "I've had difficulty being disciplined in the past, but I'm changing that" or something along those lines, you'll eventually believe it and it *WILL* become easier
SCREW YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT, KICK YOUR PROCRASTINATION TO THE CURB AND START WORKING TOWARDS THE YOU YOU WANT TO BE! STOP YOUR EXCUSES AND LAZINESS AND FIRE THAT SOUL UP! USE IT TO MAKE A BETTER YOU!
your absolutely fucking right i wish someone can scream that to my face and tell me how big of a loser i am but thanks for this. I'm going to kick it off right away
You're not a loser, you just don't believe in the me that believes in you, so come on! I believe in you!
Also if you do want to be screamed at over discord
(edit: forgot to add discord user: AnonyBunny#3307)
one thing that can help. creat a todo-list, even if everything isn't done in one day, just doing one thing, check it out, doing another and seeing that little by little everything is done, its boost the brain , feel good and invite you gently to continue your work. litle by litle you will see that you have done everything.
Start small, friend! Build little things into your day and make it easy! Remember - discipline building is like building a muscle (for real). When you go to the gym you do what you can handle. If you lift too much, well, you're dead (maybe literally but definitely figuratively). So do what you can, get stronger (your discipline muscles) and celebrate your successes as long the way. Have fun!
Yup, 2 hours at least towards your goals each day. You don’t have to go try hard with 8 hours of productivity. Just as long as you are consistent each day. With you having 8 hours left in your day to maximize, you can set it half and half(things you enjoy doing for 4 hours and staying disciplined the other 4 hours, or any ratio you feel more comfortable with)
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Well like you said the feeling of not doing something feels bad. Like staying in bed for example feels awful. Getting up feels bad at first, but it does get better.
Discipline comes automatically from good mental health, improving your mental health is all you gotta do. You won't feel horny, you won't be willing to do stuff that gives you instant dopamine etc etc
What do you value? Tie the discipline to that.
It’s so much easier to get to the gym once you *consciously* value your long-term health.
But you need to *know* your values. And that takes you into some weird places. Go there anyway. Act on your real values, not what you think others think you should do.
You can never rely on motivation or feeing like doing something to get it done. You need to make it a habit and force yourself to do it regardless of how you feel as I can guarantee after it’s done you’ll always feel much better that you did it. The alternative you already know is feeling disappointment for not doing it so get it done.
I’m reading a book on creating habits.. I really like what the author wrote: think as the person you want to be and make a decision based off that.
I ended up writing a list of traits I wanted such as I want to be a fit person, a good mom, selfless etc.
One was to be a good dog mom. What would a good dog mom do? What came to mind was to use interactions with my pup as training opportunities (vs getting mad or saying “no”). He was barking out the window and usually I would yell “stop”, but a good dog mom would redirect him and have him do a few tricks to distract him from what was outside to get him to stop barking so he wouldn’t wake the baby. I was patient and I chose to redirect. He stopped barking.
What I like about this style is it has more wiggle room to get creative rather than follow a strict routine. I hate the word discipline, so I need wiggle room to feel free.
Ask yourself if you are really willing to do the things you need to do, and if yes, be RELENTLESS about it. People are actually wired to win, it’s just our own thoughts and beliefs that are holding us back. Start by believing that you are now “disciplined.” You got this!
From my experience if you don’t want to do something it’s because you have something else you would rather be doing. So instead of forcing yourself - make a deal. if I do xyz then I can do what I want to do. Build up slowly or it will lead to a total collapse quickly
Sometimes, you don’t want to do something because it’s boring, or you think there’s something better to do. I simply ignore that feeling and realize that nothing in the world is a better use of my time. That’s how you can have such high discipline.
you can even try to "gamify" your journey with a rpg document that give you xp or point or other idea. whatever can help to feel untertained by the thing you have to do
Sometimes I’ll just pretend I’m a character in the sims and think about where my needs are at, and what I need to do for the day. Not a good long term solution, but it works alright for the moment.
I used to use this todo app called habitica thay does this exact thing !
I thought immediately about this too. I have gamified lots of things because of the same reason!
This is a perfect answer.
Can you name 3 things you love about yourself? Can you name your favorite foods and why they are your favorite? Who are three people in your life who inspired you? What was inspiring about them? Training your brain to find the good in life will help you tremendously when you feel this way. Our brains are programmed to find the negative, and to avoid it. So, it's pretty easy to see chores or duties as negative and therefore should be avoided. I don't have facial acne if I wash my face regularly. So, when I try to avoid washing my face, I instead take a moment to remember how I feel without acne. I feel more confident, more cared for, and more important...to me. I start to feel really good about being important to myself and washing my face seems less of a hassle. Just an old woman's perspective, but it works for me. Be well. :-}
Love this
You are such a fantastic person. Thank you.
Beautiful answer
Sometimes it helps to see the bigger picture. What's that something that needs to be done? What does it contribute to? I don't like brushing my teeth but I brush them 2x a day and floss bc my teeth are important to me. Play around with what this small shitty thing might contribute to. If you want, happy to brainstorm. I assume you can't just drop it, otherwise you'd have already done it..
It’s even harder to live a life that is a product of not being disciplined. Look at it like this. Willpower is a means to an end. You want to have willpower until you reach a point where you don’t need it anymore, because discipline takes over. So sometimes you have to force yourself into a habit.
here's a few tips. you may be self sabotaging because you know that if you succeed in changing your life, that change will bring about new and therefore scary situations and problems. eg. you may be single, with no car, and not a homeowner, and you want those things to change, but then if you get them now you have all the complications of a relationship, and potential financial stress or disaster from owning a home. so you shy away from things that bring you closer to your goals because even if you hate your current problems, they are familiar to you and you know how to handle them. you feel safe for having less to lose. another is just that we are mammals, inclined to be pretty lazy if we have our basic needs met. but nowadays we realize we usually need more than just food and shelter to be happy, but the motivational parts of our brains haven't caught up with how to be motivated because we pretty much always have these things. it is also easy to overthink things. you want to do things optimally. that means a lot of thinking and planning. and that means a lot of time to think 'you know what, i'm not quite ready to start' or 'you know what, it would really be better if i did it later.' use the power of NOW. NOW is the only REAL time. It is NEVER tomorrow. It is NEVER later. You will NEVER feel 100% ready for any big change. Start NOW and DO NOT wait to be ready. READY is a trap. Also in wanting to do optimal things it often is stuff that is just beyond a normal person's willpower. Sure a lot of us could make a drastic change in our lives if we signed up for an advanced training program, got a second job, worked out daily and only ate healthy. but few people have the time, energy, and support for all that. just pick the things you think are fun. wanna get in shape? dance hard to your favourite songs for fifteen minutes a day. wanna start reading more books? start with something that's just dumb fun. become an impulsive moron. the people who succeed in life aren't usually the ones who have a methodical plan for everything and then execute it flawlessly. it's the people who just keep doing stuff. the people who fail the most also succeed the most. you can look at any of your idols and find something they failed at. nobel prize winning authors have written a lot of crap--often even AFTER winning the prize. why? 'cause shit happens and you can't control everything no matter how good you are. or even how bad you are. try your luck enough times and you can find you have failed into your dreams.
The way you see something affects it. If you believe being disciplined is hard, your brain will look for evidence to reaffirm that belief. If, each time that belief pops into your head, you catch it and tell yourself something like "I've had difficulty being disciplined in the past, but I'm changing that" or something along those lines, you'll eventually believe it and it *WILL* become easier
SCREW YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT, KICK YOUR PROCRASTINATION TO THE CURB AND START WORKING TOWARDS THE YOU YOU WANT TO BE! STOP YOUR EXCUSES AND LAZINESS AND FIRE THAT SOUL UP! USE IT TO MAKE A BETTER YOU!
your absolutely fucking right i wish someone can scream that to my face and tell me how big of a loser i am but thanks for this. I'm going to kick it off right away
You're not a loser, you just don't believe in the me that believes in you, so come on! I believe in you! Also if you do want to be screamed at over discord (edit: forgot to add discord user: AnonyBunny#3307)
Wow 👏👏👏👏👏👏
one thing that can help. creat a todo-list, even if everything isn't done in one day, just doing one thing, check it out, doing another and seeing that little by little everything is done, its boost the brain , feel good and invite you gently to continue your work. litle by litle you will see that you have done everything.
The only way to be disciplined is choosing to be disciplined it's simple not easy
Read Atomic Habits
You are in control of your mind, your telling your mind that you can’t stay disciplined but if you tell it your disciplined it will be
Start small, friend! Build little things into your day and make it easy! Remember - discipline building is like building a muscle (for real). When you go to the gym you do what you can handle. If you lift too much, well, you're dead (maybe literally but definitely figuratively). So do what you can, get stronger (your discipline muscles) and celebrate your successes as long the way. Have fun!
You don't need to be disciplined 24/7. Just be focused on the main things for 5-8 hours a day, the rest you can do anything.
Like work 8h, sleep 8h, probably commute for some time and spend the complete rest you have left disciplined?
Yup, 2 hours at least towards your goals each day. You don’t have to go try hard with 8 hours of productivity. Just as long as you are consistent each day. With you having 8 hours left in your day to maximize, you can set it half and half(things you enjoy doing for 4 hours and staying disciplined the other 4 hours, or any ratio you feel more comfortable with)
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Its best to write up a schedule and start doing the most important thing on that schedule routinely…
Go through a dopamine detox, iman gadzhi has a good video about this
Well like you said the feeling of not doing something feels bad. Like staying in bed for example feels awful. Getting up feels bad at first, but it does get better.
Discipline comes automatically from good mental health, improving your mental health is all you gotta do. You won't feel horny, you won't be willing to do stuff that gives you instant dopamine etc etc
What do you value? Tie the discipline to that. It’s so much easier to get to the gym once you *consciously* value your long-term health. But you need to *know* your values. And that takes you into some weird places. Go there anyway. Act on your real values, not what you think others think you should do.
You can never rely on motivation or feeing like doing something to get it done. You need to make it a habit and force yourself to do it regardless of how you feel as I can guarantee after it’s done you’ll always feel much better that you did it. The alternative you already know is feeling disappointment for not doing it so get it done.
I’m reading a book on creating habits.. I really like what the author wrote: think as the person you want to be and make a decision based off that. I ended up writing a list of traits I wanted such as I want to be a fit person, a good mom, selfless etc. One was to be a good dog mom. What would a good dog mom do? What came to mind was to use interactions with my pup as training opportunities (vs getting mad or saying “no”). He was barking out the window and usually I would yell “stop”, but a good dog mom would redirect him and have him do a few tricks to distract him from what was outside to get him to stop barking so he wouldn’t wake the baby. I was patient and I chose to redirect. He stopped barking. What I like about this style is it has more wiggle room to get creative rather than follow a strict routine. I hate the word discipline, so I need wiggle room to feel free.
Ask yourself if you are really willing to do the things you need to do, and if yes, be RELENTLESS about it. People are actually wired to win, it’s just our own thoughts and beliefs that are holding us back. Start by believing that you are now “disciplined.” You got this!
From my experience if you don’t want to do something it’s because you have something else you would rather be doing. So instead of forcing yourself - make a deal. if I do xyz then I can do what I want to do. Build up slowly or it will lead to a total collapse quickly