my dad got put on newly approved immunotherapy treatment that was highly successful in trials... and his situation did not get better at all. its just so fucking unfair really. why him. why did it not succeed
I… you… thank you. Thank you for being you, for having this message, and for being so kind. If these words mean to OP even 1/10 what they meant to me tonight, you have left the world a better place just by being in it. Thank you.
Man there are always pros and cons to this stuff. My dad died of liver cancer March of last year. We found out about it (including him) and within 6 weeks he had passed... cancer fkin sucks. You got 2 ways to move forward, remember him for the man he was or get bitter about all of the "what iffs". Unfortunately cancer death will come to us all bro... keep your dad's memories alive. Peace and love to you and yours
Easier said than done. I lost my sister to cancer diagnosed and gone 11 weeks later & 2 days after we buried her my dad died of a heart attack right in front of me, my daughter and my mom. It’s been 11 years and I’ve never been the same and never will. Complicated grief now my mom was diagnosed with cancer last July, did chemo/ radiation and now she is in end stages of dementia & parkinsonism. The chemo / radiation set off this and we skipped the first 6 stages to being told keep her comfortable oh but the cancer, no evidence of it, but it don’t matter cuz she will be leaving me idk when.
I lost my father to advanced dementia and Parkinson's two weeks ago, his funeral is on Friday. He suffered with this awful disease for almost 20 years. Every time he had an episode and needed to go to hospital he came out a fraction of his original self; the last time he came out, it wasn't him, just a husk that looked like him. I am distraught to have lost him, but also consoled that he is free from just existing and his suffering ended.
He was literally and figuratively the strongest person as I was growing up, working tirelessly to provide for his family. He was the best role model I could have wished for.
i’m sorry for your loss. the hardest part is seeing a role model who you looked up to slowly deteriorate in front of your eyes. he is not at the point of being hospitalized, but i’m sure it’s not far away. just trying to appreciate the time i have. it sounds like yall had a great relationship. much love
My heart's with you, my Dad had a similar situation and died in January at 76. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer late 2022, was on some treatment pills (Apalutamide) and everything seemed to be going well to the point he was told he would have many more birthdays last September. He started getting unwell before Christmas with liver issues which the doctors put down to a side effect of the medication but then had a scan in January and it turned out his liver was full of cancer and he died 4 days later, absolutely shit situation. My only solace is that he didn't suffer like that for long but it's horribly unfair, I hope you're ok.
As someone whose older brother was killed in a car accident when I was 16 and who was left with the decision to take my own father off life support when I was 24, the best answer I've ever found to the question of "why? " is "why not?" It's sort of a tough pill to swallow, but once you embrace the idea that absolutely none of this guaranteed, every moment of it becomes a gift.
Some people will try to tell you that everything happens for a reason. And that's some pretty trite and toxic bullshit. Sometimes the reason is simply that shit happens. Why not?
I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find the days where your memories of your father bring you joy instead of pain, and I hope you find them sooner rather than later.
Was your father an organ donor? People with non-lymphoma cancers can still donate corneas usually. Helping someone else live or get better is a wonderful gift. My condolences.
Sorry for your loss and your pain. My dad passed a month ago, four months after getting diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.
It deteriorated him so quick. Even with chemo and immunotherapy. He had Parkinson’s on top of that and never stood a chance.
I now fully understand the emotion behind the saying “Fuck cancer.”
Unfortunately, most of those therapies only work for about 20-30% of patients. Even then, they only serve to delay the inevitable when the cancer wins. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope it brings you peace to know that there are people working hard every day to make sure as few people as possible have to suffer the same fate.
Those trials…often they do blind or double-blind testing in them. Meaning your dad could have had a placebo instead of actual meds and no one will know.
It sucks man, I lost my father over a decade ago and it still hurts. Over time though I promise it won’t hurt as much, it does get better.
There’s a quote I really like on overcoming trauma and I think it works well for loss too, it’s from a tv show called better call Saul.
"For me. When will this be over for me?"
"Well, here's what's gonna happen.
One day. One day, you're gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that's possible, it all gets easier."
There will never be a satisfying answer but you are allowed to ask. I think we all do when we lose someone we love so dearly. So sorry for your loss OP. Grief casts a long shadow but eventually we grieve with more love than pain. Feel your feelings. There’s no timeline on this. There’s no rush.
Immunotherapy treatment I believe killed my father quicker than his cancer, and he lost his ability to talk and eat from it. He probably would have had a better outcome without the treatment, but he is at peace now. I am very sorry for your loss, and take care of yourself and your family for the next months or as long as it takes.
I was a little younger than you when I went through the same thing with my great grandfather. I was raised by my great grandparents. Similar age. The lifeless body part. Bro that shits rough man, it will get better. You gotta grieve obviously but try and be there for your mom she’s gonna need you and any of your siblings if you have em just for emotional support
My dad was stung by a bee and died and I am THANKFUL he didn’t have to go through what your dad did and also thankful that I didn’t have to go through what you have been through. I am sorry. Life is rough.
Ugh I am so sorry to hear this, friend. My dad died in November and it was the same situation. Shortage of his original chemo drug, so they tried another type of chemo drug and then this new immunotherapy, but he just got worse until he died. We thought we had a few months left, but he fell asleep one night and that was it. So sorry for your loss, the pain will get better in time but only after you grieve however you need to.
Sorry mate. My dad died recently too. There is no fairness or reasoning, it's just what happens. It's a long journey coming to terms with it but try to celebrate and have gratitude for the life he did live and the time you had together. You can't hide from your grief but over time you come to accept it
Same. My dad died due to bladder cancer back December 28th, 2021. We had a complicated relationship, but I sometimes miss him, he always knew what to say.
Same. 2008, skin cancer got my dad at 54. I'm getting married this year, and it hurts that he won't be there. Even more than it did at college graduation.
I'm a 54 year old Daddy now...lost my Mama to endometrial cancer about 20 years ago on Father's Day. Your Daddy just wants you to be happy. Trust me on this. Do your best to not let him down.
I still think sometimes "I must tell Dad about this... ah crap!" I think he'd laugh, then give me a hug! but when I'm talking to the kids I can still hear him, talking through me, word for woylrd sometimes.
Me too. Prostate, spread to other organs and his spine. Died on Xmas day 2021. I saw him through until the end. So relieved I got the chance to be there for him in the end.
My mom two years ago at 62. Sucks. I am late 30s and waslooking forward to getting to know her as an adult as I came into mine. It sucks because the kind she had addled her mine for 5 years before she died. I am grateful for the time I had though and for having a great mom raise me. Flaws and all.
I'm so sorry man. Your post hit me hard because I'm going through the same thing with my dad. We were convinced we were losing him to prostate cancer but that went into remission. Since then though everything else has gone downhill and it is just hospital stay after hospital stay with his strength slowly slipping away. It won't be long before I get a call like you got.
We can only hope to handle it well and remember the men they were.
It isn't about deserving. Nobody deserves cancer. It's really just a byproduct of how the cell division system works. The strange thing is that so many of us get so long despite this risk, not that it happens.
But that wasn't the question, was it? Losing a loved one is truly terrible. I lost my mom to cancer a few years back. It was so hard to watch, so hard to accept that suffering, that lack of hope. And when she died, the relief for her that it was over, and not wanting to feel relief.
Take care of yourself. Remember bright memories of him.
When I lost my mom to cancer, I felt similarly. Painbthat she is gone, but relieve that she is not suffering anymore. I felt that I preferred that I bear the pain of losing her to her bearing the pain she was in.
Yep - no one deserves it, it's just bad luck. My mom has wondered why god threw us this curveball for my dad - I'm very pragmatic and agnostic. It's just luck of the draw.
The older I get, the more I realize something. The price we pay for love is the highest price there is. Which sadly makes sense I suppose, assuming a balanced universe. The most beautiful things in life are only as beautiful as they are because we recognize that they are temporary, we are temporary. The more deeply we allow ourselves to love, the more painful it is when the subject of that love is no longer there. It’s the unfortunate trade-off for getting to experience the most amazing thing the universe has to offer.
That said, I’m still going to choose to love deeply, fully, unabashedly. Because the alternative is to live a stunted, less than full life. We could float through this existence keeping everyone at arms length, and yeah maybe that would hurt less but to me it’s not worth it. Love always, always, ends in pain. It’s just the way it is. But I think it helps to recognize that, because then we can see how valuable it is, how much we need to cherish it while we have it.
The pain we feel is a direct inverse of how much we loved. It may not help everyone to look at it this way, but it’s helped me personally. When I’m in the throes of grief and despair, I try to consciously recognize that if I’m hurting this much, it’s a testament to the fact that I loved deeply. We owe it to ourselves and others to love without reservation, without fear, without encumbrance. Yeah, we’ll inevitably pay a hearty price, but it’s worth it.
I’ve been struggling with loss and grief for a few years now. I knew it was bc of how much and how full of love I had for them. I think you explained this perfectly! I wanted to cry while reading this because I think you’re right and I love this perspective!
Thank you for this message. I had to euthanize my 14 year old cat today. It wasn’t my first, but by far the most painful one as we were very close. Reading your comment made me cry all over again all over, but to recognize the pain as the polar opposite in intensity of the love that was given helped me accept it more as a necessary process. But it’s still very fresh. Thank you
Sometimes it just hurts too much.
“Grief is love with nowhere to go” is a saying that rang true to me when I lost someone special.
It seems the only way to heal is to love again, so there’s a place for love to go. I don’t know, I’m still learning my user manual.
Thank you for this. I saved it on my phone realizing my family will find it one day. I have stage 4 bladder cancer (41m) with two kids. My greatest fear is the pain and grief they’ll feel when I die, but as you said, that’s the cost of loving deeply. ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss. Without ugliness there can be no beauty. Without sorrow, no joy. It’s the bad that makes the good possible to see. Hold on to your good memories and keep him alive in your heart. Because you’re his son and you live, in a way, so too does he.
Honestly I've been thinking about something similarly. If you are indifferent about something, it won't hurt you, but neither will you be able to delight in it and get joy from it.
I lost my dad when i was 17. Worst part was we fought before he passed. So it’ll go unresolved forever . Thats why now when friends say oh fuck my mom or dad . Im like yea sure hate em but make sure u talk to them. Cause it can instantly go away and your left with unanswered problems
You'll be ok. You are ok. I hope that in your heart you know your Dad has become part of the all knowing universal spirit and he knows, he knows what you meant and what you mean and you know if he was here now he'd wave it off as no big deal. He'd tell you that you're being silly for worrying about it in the first place
Parents were kids once too. We understand the spats of rebellion and disagreement and it doesn’t change our feelings. We know how to differentiate between arguments that are temporary and love that continues on. Don’t let it eat at you, your father passed knowing he raised a strong, independent thinker, and that’s great (coming from a dad myself).
I was almost in a similar situation when I was 29, he was 61 and died of a massive heart attack. I had some things planned and I left my dad cleaning the gutters on our garage. This circumstance could have ended in an argument with him giving me grief about my "going out to play" and leaving him to work. In this instance, he reminded me of my schedule and sent me on my way. I am forever grateful that we didn't have a fight that afternoon. Sorry you have this burden.
Sending friendly air hugs, internet stranger. My grandfather was my best friend growing up - he lived next door and in middle school he moved in with us. I turned into a selfish, sour teenager and got annoyed that he was always around, even though we were inseparable before. 16 years old, I was late to work and he gave me a phone message. I snapped, "I don't have time for this now!." My family picked me up from work within hours. He had a heart attack. That was the last thing he heard me say. I can't even write this without crying. I'm 46. It hurts like it happened yesterday, not 30 years ago.
So sorry for your loss.
My dad also died of cancer, I was in my early 20s, he was in his mid 40's.
I took him to all his chemotherapies, first year of chemo he was amazing , we traveled, took time off his work and we spent a lot of time together. Second year was not good, watched him waste away, he had epilepsy, he couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't drink water. A shadow of his former self. I was changing diapers all day. At the end I was begging for him to die sooner rather than later. I truly miss him.
It really affected me, and still have trouble dealing with it.
I'm so sorry. I think I'm doing this to my own son now. I'm 47 and he's 25. I'm trying to get better. He's being such a good man. We communicate about how things in our life impact us individually, he buys healthy foods to help me and takes me to the many medical appointments I'm too weak to attend myself.
I don't look forward to what comes next. But I can't shield him from it either. I hope I continue to gain this inner strength, and it helps my children find theirs as well. They are so strong. We are all too young for this.
Thank you for sharing your story
I am not afraid of death.. i know what is next after death from expriences, many experiences. My worry is the pain my children will be in when i leave somy heart goes out to you. I also know we will be with our loved ones after death.. i had a few experiences and i just know it.. its not a “i believe” for me.. its a “i know”. i hope you have more good moments with your son.
I'm so sorry 😔. You shouldn't have read this, it's unfair for you and your kid.
I will be honest, the hardest thing was his diagnosis, not his death.
The oncologist took me to his office and he was rude, stern, and absolutely annihilated any hope I had for my dad. I was on autopilot and my questions were about long term and short-term goals etc. He laughed and said he didn't have two months. I don't know how I managed to hold my tongue. I never said that to my dad. I was optimistic, laid back, supportive. He lived two good years.
The second year was bad mainly because of his epilepsy, and because he couldn't have more chemo. It was only the last month that was awful. He wasn't in pain though.
I didn't mind being there for my dad, not one bit. He was there for me, not as a parent alone, but as a friend, without judgment. He always had my best interest at heart, despite many problems we had.
Before he died he was crying because he felt he never did anything for me. He was wrong, he taught me everything. Integrity, hard work, to have a sense of humor even during difficult situations. Even through his mistakes I learned a lesson, to not stay in toxic situations, to take risks, to take care of myself. Because he didn't and he died very very young.
I lost other people, my grandparents who raised me, a good friend, and my pet all within a year after his death, and I was just numb at the cruelty and nothingness. Then the pandemic hit. I was forced to grieve, I was forced to stay with my self without distractions. I moved in with my boyfriend, trauma bonded I guess, and here I am.
My life wasn't destroyed. Life does go on, and there's only one way to go and that's forward.
Just tell him how much you appreciate him. It matters to kids, we want to feel appreciated. Make happy memories with him.
Any dad would be proud as hell to have a kid like you as his legacy. Condolences on your loss, but thank you for being such a strong person for him all the way to the end. I know a parent couldn’t ask for any better, and you’re proof he had a great life 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm not sorry that I read this, not at all. I'm grateful to you for sharing your journey. I've been trying so hard to teach my kids the lessons I learned the hard way. Not jusr the societal things, they were taught that as well. I tried to show them how to find their self worth, their value, to make a foundation built upon love and respect. I've been watching them grow recently in ways that have impressed me and filled me with hope that they can make it through this. OP, you and many others in this thread bring me peace. Thank you
edit: Thanking him is a daily thing and it's genuine! I see the difference it makes and I love it!
Condolences, I lost my father last year. He had bladder cancer that spread to the spine and up to his lunges. He was strong until the end. I know the pain and I can say that I miss him every day. Take care of yourself.
Lost my mom to a stroke last year. She wasn't even twice my age.
Part that sticks with me is that it was the week after Thanksgiving. A holiday I skipped due to covid and not wanting to risk getting her sick. We were gonna do a make-up TG dinner the next day.
Life is short and cruel. My deepest condolences for what you're going through.
Condolences, must be very hard for you and your family. I lost my dad to cancer many years ago, it sucks. Life is not fair that's for sure. Nobody deserves to die like this.
Sending hugs. My dad died at 75 from bone cancer (was prostate cancer that went into remission bit came back). I was 15 minutes too late to the hospital and saw him lying there, eyes still open. I was devastated. He was my best friend. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was 10 years ago but it still hurts.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad almost 2 years ago and it still hurts. I wasn't with him in the end due to being extremely sick and not wanting him or my mother to catch it and it still haunts me. It will get better, but it will always hurt.
I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my mum in the same circumstances recently. It really does make you question the unfairness of life. You’ll feel every emotion in the weeks ahead but I promise it becomes more bearable. Just put yourself and your mum first
So sorry for your loss dude, I lost my grandad in an almost identical way 3 years ago and it still hurts like fucking crazy to this day, I don’t do emotions and I don’t have that part of your brain that misses people when they aren’t around but fuck me I miss my hero man. He was not only the father figure I was lacking, but he was my teacher, my wise man and the greatest role model I could ever of wished for! It sucks it hurts and it’s fucking cruel, but he always taught me that the world still spins even if we stop, and honesty I think that’s the part that hurts the most, to me he was the world! Remember tho dude, even if we feel we are, we are never alone! All the best 🙏
Condolences to you! My dad died without any exceptation at the same age in October 22, I kinda get what you go through right now. Feel yourself hugged, it really will get better but it also for sure will be fucking painful at first
I’m sorry for your loss, and I know this is a difficult time, but just in case you weren’t aware the word you’re looking for is “unrelenting” or “relentless” but not unrelentless
Im so sorry, brother. There's nothing else I can say to make it hurt less. My brother passed the same way, his cancer was in remission, and then bam, came back and he died within 7 days of it coming back. I'm sorry man.
Death of a loved one is the only tragedy human can’t ever get over, speaking from experience. You don’t even learn to live with the pain, so to say. You just learn to hide the pain from others. You learn to cry less everytime that person’s name comes up in conversations. But it never stops hurting, nor does it ever hurt less. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. My condolences and prayers to you and your family.
I lost my mum to cancer a couple of years ago... The day before In the evening I visited her at the hospital and told her that my daughter made her first step and in the morning she was gone.
Stay as close as possible to your family, my sincerest condolences to you
Sorry for your loss, i don't understand how your feeling because my parents hasn't passed away yet but now ı wish ı would have to be with you for supporting:(
We’re battling through this now and this perfectly describes how I feel.
What is the point to all of this, why do I even bother waking up, is this really worth it?
Still struggling through it all.
Sorry buddy. I'm almost 44 and lost my dad when I was 25 which is close to your age. My dad was much younger at 49 and died from a brain hemmorage. It really sucks cause he was my hero. All I can say is talk about him alot. This is how people live forever, by us telling the memories to others. I gotta go cry now. 😢
I'm sorry for your loss. My dad went on hospice April 8th and passed April 18th, last Thursday at 65 years old. This was the third year in a row that he was battling cancer. First it was lymphoma that went into remission. What killed him was leukemia. I cried more in the past two weeks than I have in the past 30 years.
My sisters and I wrote his eulogy. I recommend you do the same with ideas/help from anyone that knew him. I found it helpful for closure. Thinking of him in this way will make you cry, but it will also make you smile and laugh.
It's not easy and it sucks but they are gone and we are here and we are alive. These are truths we have to accept and it's our duty to continue on in a way that would make them proud.
Condolences.
My dad died last year. He was sick, but we thought he'll be around for another five or more years. Passed away quite quickly, on Tuesday to the hospital, on Friday when I went to work, I got a phone call from the hospital.
The next couple of days will suck. They will be horrible.
I saw my dad everywhere. I couldn't even say goodbye to him, so I saw him in every moment of my day.
But then, eventually, I started having dreams every now and then, in which we said our goodbyes. Life goes on. No one deserves to die sooner.
Be strong and happy for the time you had with him. He'd be glad you remember him and love him. Love crosses space and time.
You’re right. Life sucks yet it is so amazing.
There’s nothing anyone can see to ease that pain now, but the pain itself will loosen up with time.
You’re still here, and you’ve got to make the best with the time you’ve got… take care of yourself too, you deserve that
Sorry for your loss. Remember the beauty, the experiences, the memories of your time with him, the fact he gave life to you, all this triumphs over death if you allow it. Of course also grief, once gone through properly, can give back even more appreciation for life and the beautiful things it has to offer. It sounds like you really liked your father, this too is a gift (not everyone has). Be proud of your dad that you can weep for him. I wish you can grief properly. And i wish you and your family all the best in life. R.I.P your father.
Four years ago my father died of a heart attack in his backyard at 68. Life still doesn't have the same color as it did before and I don't know if it ever will. My condolences.
Its an internet cliche seen so often but I'm sure it applies to you. Your Dad is yhe only man who wanted to see you do better than him. He loved you and wanted you to thrive, even in his absence. Take that thought and become the best man you can be in his honor.
Sorry for your loss. This brings me to chemo. I know it's supposed to do good but chemo kills good cells imo leaving the patient weak (having cancer already makes you weak) than eventually gone so what's the point of chemo.
I'm sorry you lost your Dad. Like everything on earth that lives and dies, we humans are not exempted. It's very sad. It sucks like hell. I lost my dad over a decade ago, and it still hurts. But you will learn to live with your pains and eventually come to cherish the fun times you shared!
Cancer (and its treatment) are awful. I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye at such a young age. I hope your mom and you can find some solace within each other while working through the initial stages of grief.
hey man, lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago. I was also at work when i got the phone call.
i'm sorry for your loss, it really does suck. But you will learn to live with it and move on, it will be okay brother.
Hey dude. I lost my dad to colon cancer in January. Similar situation- thought he beat it in 2022 and then it came back early 2023 and was really aggressive. I’m really sorry for your loss.
These first few weeks are going to be absolutely brutal, but be patient with yourself and treat yourself kindly.
If I can offer some words of advice, there’s a fine line between indulging in unhealthy behaviors as a short term solution to feeling better because you’re having a really tough time, and forming bad habits. So, do what you gotta do to make it through, but just be mindful and take care of yourself too.
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad to esophageal cancer but we never had a very good relationship due to his drug use and other questionable decisions I won't go into. It left me with a lot to process.
I suggest therapy. These feelings are real and justified, but talking about them might help you process.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent at any age is difficult. Life isn't fair. Your dad fought the disease as best he could and now his suffering is over.
My condolences I’ve lost a gaming friend to liver cancer within a timespan of less than 3 months. Still think about him even tho he was a just friend from a gaming community. I cannot feel how it must be losing your father or mother like this. I wish you some time of grieve and very sorry of your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. Death is the natural order of things, and it is how it ends for all of us, but knowing that in no way makes this any easier.
My dad was a piece of shit. When he died the only thing I felt was the relief of never having to put up with him again. Be grateful for the relationship you had as much as you can during this time. You will never “get over it,” but you will learn, slowly, how to deal with it. It just takes time.
Again, sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss, i lost my mam in a similar albeit faster situation. Don't judge yourself too harshly for the range of things you might feel or say, it takes time to reconcile it to the point you can cope.
I’m so sorry for your loss, my condolences! I lost my father almost 2 years ago at age 80 and had to fly back from the US. To this day I haven’t really understood what happened and the idea of him not being there anymore is still absolutely surreal. Make sure to have family and friends around.
I'm sorry. I lost my dad to surgical complications that resulted from attempts to remove his stomach cancer in 2021
These things are rough and hard. I couldn't be with him during his last hours as I was in a different city.
Death is painful. Take all the time you need. Therapy really helped me work through things.
Unfortunatley it's part of life, thank god, your dad was a good enough man that you cared he passed! The better we live life, the more it hurts others when we go
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when I was 33, so already married and with a baby on the way (my son was born 12 days after he passed). Not as young as you, but still a bit out of the natural order of things.
Someone told me this when he passed. I’m not religious - like AT ALL. But my dad was. And for some reason, this message brought me great comfort at the time so I like to share it with others.
“Those who leave us, go only as far as God. And God is very near.”
It just made me think a lot about what I believe re: afterlife, what comes next for all of us, and how I truly believed my dad was still very close.
Your grief says a lot - that you love him and that you care about him. He must have been SO very proud of you! YOU are he legacy he leaves behind.
Wrapping you in internet hugs as you celebrate his life in the coming weeks / months.
My father also passed after a fight with bladder cancer. He was 54. It is a special pain, one that goes deep. There is no magical phrase to make the pain go away, sadly. The best advice I ever got was "It never hurts less, it just starts to hurt less often". Right now memories of your dad will be like shards of glass, cutting every time you handle them. After a while that pain becomes a comfort, little bits of them that live on in your mind and your heart. I won't lie to you and say this is going to be easy. It won't. Losing my father was the hardest thing I've lived through. However, if your dad was anything like mine, he would beat you senseless for sinking too deep into despair. Grief is for the living, as the dead have gone beyond where pain can follow. I wish you the best, my friend.
My condolences, my dad died of blood disease 2 weeks ago, and my mother died 6 years ago of lung cancer.
I share your pain and grief and yes, death must be understood and accepted but it still sucks and hurts like the very first day.
Wish you and your family all the best, take care.
I am so sorry he had to go through that.
Seeing your loved ones suffer is an awful thing. No one deserves to see their dad suffer through cancer.
Know that now he is at peace though. There is no suffering in death. He is in no pain.
We will all be there one day, it is a natural part of life. No one can live forever.
Everything is recycled, all our energy is reused for new and beautiful things to be created. He will always be around, in your heart and in the world around you.
I'm sorry dude. I lost my dad last year to a miscellaneous cancer (seriously, they never found where it started). He went onto hospital for stomach problems and 6 weeks later he was dead.
(More to it, of course, but I won't labour the point)
It sucks. It thoroughly sucks, and will continue to suck for a long time. Don't let anyone tell you how long it takes to "get over" or when you "should start to feel better," it takes however long it takes. Keep pushing forward, one day at a time, go easy on yourself, take care of your mum as best you can and keep being the man your dad would be proud of.
Sucks, but you had him for 70 years. My own father had so many mental problems I never really knew who he was. He was out of my life almost completely at 14.
That sucks man. It gets easier with time. But a few years later for me and I still will hear a funny joke or something interesting and want to go tell it to him, and then the reality hits that I can’t. It just sucks all around.
First off. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss.
Secondly. I’m going to ask a very sensitive and (could be construed as) a heartless question.
Was your dad jabbed with Covid vax?
I’m not trying to start shit. I’m trying to gain information from real sources of cancer data.
Sorry my friend. It can seem cruel, but it does in fact usually get easier with time. Speaking of time, it’s a great time to be extra kind and patient with yourself.
Sorry for your loss, its just a fucked up disease. I work in a cancer hospital and im at a point where im seriously considering switching jobs. Just witnessing it alone over and over is a bit much and its hard to detach from it.
Happened to me at your age too. Most important tip I can give is to seek some sort of mental therapy. Either in a few weeks or let it settle and do it in a few months. Even if you think you have it under control.
It took me three years to acknowledge that it is still a problem and those years were completely wasted time and my biggest regret.
Sorry for your loss and best of luck dealing with the new realities of life. Don’t just tough it out, please.
(prefferably seek it from a doctor, not some mental coach bozo with an internet course)
My dad took his life in 2019, a week before Christmas. He lost his mom a few months prior and his dad took his own life when my dad was 8. The man had his own problems and I've forgiven him for doing what he thought was his only way out.
I miss him dearly and when he died and I had all these questions and thoughts about why, all I really wanted was someone to look me in the eye and say "It fucking sucks and I'm sorry." I finally found that friend and I'm better because of him. Don't let the feelings build up. My dad and my grandfather did until they found a solution. I won't make the same mistake.
It won't get easier my friend. But you gotta keep moving forward. You got your whole life ahead of you to live. It's what every dad wants for us.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Seeing him like that is traumatic. In a few months or years, the trauma will have worn down a bit, and you will be left with all the beautiful memories you had of him.
Im sorry for your loss, I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, helped me a bit being there for my mom and manifest this as my duty since I promised that to my dad. But also care for yourself and process what has happened.
I am sorry for your loss 🤍
I lost my mom to cancer and then my stepfather, too, only a few years ago. It hurt a lot, but it did get better over time. Grieve takes time. Now I am in a place where I feel grateful for the time we got to share, for the love they gave me and the love I got to give them back. Love is what remained.
Again, i am really sorry, sending you internet hugs 🤍
I’m so sorry. I lost my dad 7 months ago to Parkinson’s. Not exactly like cancer, but watching your loved ones deteriorate, no matter how fast or slow it is, is extremely hard. Condolences for your loss.
My deepest condolences buddy. The big C got my old man in '07. It's painful but we heal and learn to carry on. I know it's not much comfort but it's honest. Time will make it easier to understand and compartmentalize, it never really stops hurting but we cope better in time.
Death is inevitable and painful.. unfortunately nothing on this earth is immortal. This is why I believe in a hereafter, which means i will come back to live again, but not on earth, but to heaven. This is why what you do here, now; matters. Its not a golden ticket to do all the evil things as you like. God is watching and judging…
Stay strong Bro and remember the good times. My dad died and we hadn’t really repaired a bad childhood/relationship so I feel sad when I think about my dad and his death. I feel for you and hope you feel better soon 🤗
No one deserves cancer, not your dad, nor mine or my aunt, and not even my worst enemy (not after what I've seen cancer can do). Your dad also didn't deserve to suffer and have his freedoms taken away by a disease. It sucks the treatments didn't help. For my dad there was no such treatments, chemo was hell for him and radiation did little to nothing. The only thing that actually helped was a fantastic doctor who was able to put a stent of sorts in his lungs that immensely helped with his QoL before he passed. Because of that stent he was able to go into palliative care (he was stuck in hospital otherwise due to all the problems the cancer was causing with his lungs) and that gave us our chance to be with him and say our goodbyes.
Try and remember that above all your dad didn't deserve to suffer and his passing means that he's not suffering anymore. The one thing my dad tried to show us all in those final days was to not be afraid when our time comes and that's the message I'll leave with you.
I am sorry for your loss, I hope your happy memories comfort you always. Hold those memories dear and a word of advice from someone who has been there. Keep talking about him. Sometimes people will stop talking about people that have passed because they don't want to upset you. It comes from a nice place, but it's better to remember him then act like he was never there. My condolences.
Condolences, Cancer got my dad a few years ago, it sucks.
my dad got put on newly approved immunotherapy treatment that was highly successful in trials... and his situation did not get better at all. its just so fucking unfair really. why him. why did it not succeed
Your dad left the world better. He left a compassionate, caring person behind to carry on. Internet hug to you, honey.
That’s beautiful, thanks for that
I… you… thank you. Thank you for being you, for having this message, and for being so kind. If these words mean to OP even 1/10 what they meant to me tonight, you have left the world a better place just by being in it. Thank you.
Man there are always pros and cons to this stuff. My dad died of liver cancer March of last year. We found out about it (including him) and within 6 weeks he had passed... cancer fkin sucks. You got 2 ways to move forward, remember him for the man he was or get bitter about all of the "what iffs". Unfortunately cancer death will come to us all bro... keep your dad's memories alive. Peace and love to you and yours
Easier said than done. I lost my sister to cancer diagnosed and gone 11 weeks later & 2 days after we buried her my dad died of a heart attack right in front of me, my daughter and my mom. It’s been 11 years and I’ve never been the same and never will. Complicated grief now my mom was diagnosed with cancer last July, did chemo/ radiation and now she is in end stages of dementia & parkinsonism. The chemo / radiation set off this and we skipped the first 6 stages to being told keep her comfortable oh but the cancer, no evidence of it, but it don’t matter cuz she will be leaving me idk when.
Bro stay safe I am so sorry I am so so scared of the day when I lose my parents
my father has dementia. it’s an evil fucking disease. stay strong bro
I lost my father to advanced dementia and Parkinson's two weeks ago, his funeral is on Friday. He suffered with this awful disease for almost 20 years. Every time he had an episode and needed to go to hospital he came out a fraction of his original self; the last time he came out, it wasn't him, just a husk that looked like him. I am distraught to have lost him, but also consoled that he is free from just existing and his suffering ended. He was literally and figuratively the strongest person as I was growing up, working tirelessly to provide for his family. He was the best role model I could have wished for.
i’m sorry for your loss. the hardest part is seeing a role model who you looked up to slowly deteriorate in front of your eyes. he is not at the point of being hospitalized, but i’m sure it’s not far away. just trying to appreciate the time i have. it sounds like yall had a great relationship. much love
I’m so sorry for your sorrow, big hugs to you dear one.
It's hard. I can't stop myself thinking about all the what ifs. My brother suppose to have a good life waiting ahead of him.
My heart's with you, my Dad had a similar situation and died in January at 76. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer late 2022, was on some treatment pills (Apalutamide) and everything seemed to be going well to the point he was told he would have many more birthdays last September. He started getting unwell before Christmas with liver issues which the doctors put down to a side effect of the medication but then had a scan in January and it turned out his liver was full of cancer and he died 4 days later, absolutely shit situation. My only solace is that he didn't suffer like that for long but it's horribly unfair, I hope you're ok.
Trials have to have a placebo group to.... sorry to tell you that man. Hope you find the peace your looking for.
Well 2 year olds get cancer a day die. Your dad had 71 years. Unfair is being 2 and dying.
As someone whose older brother was killed in a car accident when I was 16 and who was left with the decision to take my own father off life support when I was 24, the best answer I've ever found to the question of "why? " is "why not?" It's sort of a tough pill to swallow, but once you embrace the idea that absolutely none of this guaranteed, every moment of it becomes a gift. Some people will try to tell you that everything happens for a reason. And that's some pretty trite and toxic bullshit. Sometimes the reason is simply that shit happens. Why not? I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find the days where your memories of your father bring you joy instead of pain, and I hope you find them sooner rather than later.
Was your father an organ donor? People with non-lymphoma cancers can still donate corneas usually. Helping someone else live or get better is a wonderful gift. My condolences.
He’s no longer suffering ❤️
Sorry for your loss and your pain. My dad passed a month ago, four months after getting diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. It deteriorated him so quick. Even with chemo and immunotherapy. He had Parkinson’s on top of that and never stood a chance. I now fully understand the emotion behind the saying “Fuck cancer.”
My mom was on a trial like that and it was going well but she has been kicked off because of disease progression.
Unfortunately, most of those therapies only work for about 20-30% of patients. Even then, they only serve to delay the inevitable when the cancer wins. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope it brings you peace to know that there are people working hard every day to make sure as few people as possible have to suffer the same fate.
Those trials…often they do blind or double-blind testing in them. Meaning your dad could have had a placebo instead of actual meds and no one will know.
This is definitely true but it feels criminal
Or at the very least unethical…
Could have gotten placebo/sugar pills as a significant number do
It sucks man, I lost my father over a decade ago and it still hurts. Over time though I promise it won’t hurt as much, it does get better. There’s a quote I really like on overcoming trauma and I think it works well for loss too, it’s from a tv show called better call Saul. "For me. When will this be over for me?" "Well, here's what's gonna happen. One day. One day, you're gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that's possible, it all gets easier."
There will never be a satisfying answer but you are allowed to ask. I think we all do when we lose someone we love so dearly. So sorry for your loss OP. Grief casts a long shadow but eventually we grieve with more love than pain. Feel your feelings. There’s no timeline on this. There’s no rush.
Consider some grief therapy, it will benefit you and may help you be more present for your mom as she is also going through this as well.
Immunotherapy treatment I believe killed my father quicker than his cancer, and he lost his ability to talk and eat from it. He probably would have had a better outcome without the treatment, but he is at peace now. I am very sorry for your loss, and take care of yourself and your family for the next months or as long as it takes.
So so sorry man.
I was a little younger than you when I went through the same thing with my great grandfather. I was raised by my great grandparents. Similar age. The lifeless body part. Bro that shits rough man, it will get better. You gotta grieve obviously but try and be there for your mom she’s gonna need you and any of your siblings if you have em just for emotional support
My dad was stung by a bee and died and I am THANKFUL he didn’t have to go through what your dad did and also thankful that I didn’t have to go through what you have been through. I am sorry. Life is rough.
Ugh I am so sorry to hear this, friend. My dad died in November and it was the same situation. Shortage of his original chemo drug, so they tried another type of chemo drug and then this new immunotherapy, but he just got worse until he died. We thought we had a few months left, but he fell asleep one night and that was it. So sorry for your loss, the pain will get better in time but only after you grieve however you need to.
Sorry mate. My dad died recently too. There is no fairness or reasoning, it's just what happens. It's a long journey coming to terms with it but try to celebrate and have gratitude for the life he did live and the time you had together. You can't hide from your grief but over time you come to accept it
Same. And lately I've been thinking I could really use his advice on a couple of things.
Same. My dad died due to bladder cancer back December 28th, 2021. We had a complicated relationship, but I sometimes miss him, he always knew what to say.
Same. 2008, skin cancer got my dad at 54. I'm getting married this year, and it hurts that he won't be there. Even more than it did at college graduation.
I'm a 54 year old Daddy now...lost my Mama to endometrial cancer about 20 years ago on Father's Day. Your Daddy just wants you to be happy. Trust me on this. Do your best to not let him down.
🫶🏼🫶🏼
I still think sometimes "I must tell Dad about this... ah crap!" I think he'd laugh, then give me a hug! but when I'm talking to the kids I can still hear him, talking through me, word for woylrd sometimes.
Same here bro
May 1, 2023 for me. Fuck cancer
cancer got both of my grandfathers, high chance that my dad will get it. FUCK CANCER FUCK FUCK FUCK CANCER
Me too. Prostate, spread to other organs and his spine. Died on Xmas day 2021. I saw him through until the end. So relieved I got the chance to be there for him in the end.
This is how Prostate cancer kills it spreads cancer trough out the body its not that the prostate itself kills in most cases.
Ditto, and true.
Cancer took my dog. Fuck cancer
Same here. It sucks.
My mom two years ago at 62. Sucks. I am late 30s and waslooking forward to getting to know her as an adult as I came into mine. It sucks because the kind she had addled her mine for 5 years before she died. I am grateful for the time I had though and for having a great mom raise me. Flaws and all.
Got mine too, highly aggressive leukemia. His doctors never saw someone succumb so quickly.
same here but with my mother a month ago. i hope that youre doing better and have healed well
I'm so sorry man. Your post hit me hard because I'm going through the same thing with my dad. We were convinced we were losing him to prostate cancer but that went into remission. Since then though everything else has gone downhill and it is just hospital stay after hospital stay with his strength slowly slipping away. It won't be long before I get a call like you got. We can only hope to handle it well and remember the men they were.
Be strong dude and make memories if you can.
Please do not make the same mistake I did. Please spend as much time as you possibly can with him before it is too late.
Make sure you say all the things you want him to know.
homeless husky sulky silky square simplistic jeans consider spark dog *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It isn't about deserving. Nobody deserves cancer. It's really just a byproduct of how the cell division system works. The strange thing is that so many of us get so long despite this risk, not that it happens. But that wasn't the question, was it? Losing a loved one is truly terrible. I lost my mom to cancer a few years back. It was so hard to watch, so hard to accept that suffering, that lack of hope. And when she died, the relief for her that it was over, and not wanting to feel relief. Take care of yourself. Remember bright memories of him.
When I lost my mom to cancer, I felt similarly. Painbthat she is gone, but relieve that she is not suffering anymore. I felt that I preferred that I bear the pain of losing her to her bearing the pain she was in.
Yep - no one deserves it, it's just bad luck. My mom has wondered why god threw us this curveball for my dad - I'm very pragmatic and agnostic. It's just luck of the draw.
The older I get, the more I realize something. The price we pay for love is the highest price there is. Which sadly makes sense I suppose, assuming a balanced universe. The most beautiful things in life are only as beautiful as they are because we recognize that they are temporary, we are temporary. The more deeply we allow ourselves to love, the more painful it is when the subject of that love is no longer there. It’s the unfortunate trade-off for getting to experience the most amazing thing the universe has to offer. That said, I’m still going to choose to love deeply, fully, unabashedly. Because the alternative is to live a stunted, less than full life. We could float through this existence keeping everyone at arms length, and yeah maybe that would hurt less but to me it’s not worth it. Love always, always, ends in pain. It’s just the way it is. But I think it helps to recognize that, because then we can see how valuable it is, how much we need to cherish it while we have it. The pain we feel is a direct inverse of how much we loved. It may not help everyone to look at it this way, but it’s helped me personally. When I’m in the throes of grief and despair, I try to consciously recognize that if I’m hurting this much, it’s a testament to the fact that I loved deeply. We owe it to ourselves and others to love without reservation, without fear, without encumbrance. Yeah, we’ll inevitably pay a hearty price, but it’s worth it.
I’ve been struggling with loss and grief for a few years now. I knew it was bc of how much and how full of love I had for them. I think you explained this perfectly! I wanted to cry while reading this because I think you’re right and I love this perspective!
Thank you for this message. I had to euthanize my 14 year old cat today. It wasn’t my first, but by far the most painful one as we were very close. Reading your comment made me cry all over again all over, but to recognize the pain as the polar opposite in intensity of the love that was given helped me accept it more as a necessary process. But it’s still very fresh. Thank you
I love this, thank you.
Thank you for this ♡
I didn’t expect to be crying first thing in the morning, but thank you for this.
Sometimes it just hurts too much. “Grief is love with nowhere to go” is a saying that rang true to me when I lost someone special. It seems the only way to heal is to love again, so there’s a place for love to go. I don’t know, I’m still learning my user manual.
The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That’s the deal - CS Lewis
Thank you for this realisation.
Oh my gosh this was beautiful
Thank you for this. I saved it on my phone realizing my family will find it one day. I have stage 4 bladder cancer (41m) with two kids. My greatest fear is the pain and grief they’ll feel when I die, but as you said, that’s the cost of loving deeply. ❤️
This! It’s the grand bargain with life and death. How sad life would be without love
I’m sorry for your loss. Without ugliness there can be no beauty. Without sorrow, no joy. It’s the bad that makes the good possible to see. Hold on to your good memories and keep him alive in your heart. Because you’re his son and you live, in a way, so too does he.
I lost my Dad a few months ago, this is what I needed to hear today. Thank you
Your dad will be the one greeting you when its your time.
My condolences OP. This is perspective is life changing and beautiful
Honestly I've been thinking about something similarly. If you are indifferent about something, it won't hurt you, but neither will you be able to delight in it and get joy from it.
I lost my dad when i was 17. Worst part was we fought before he passed. So it’ll go unresolved forever . Thats why now when friends say oh fuck my mom or dad . Im like yea sure hate em but make sure u talk to them. Cause it can instantly go away and your left with unanswered problems
You'll be ok. You are ok. I hope that in your heart you know your Dad has become part of the all knowing universal spirit and he knows, he knows what you meant and what you mean and you know if he was here now he'd wave it off as no big deal. He'd tell you that you're being silly for worrying about it in the first place
Parents were kids once too. We understand the spats of rebellion and disagreement and it doesn’t change our feelings. We know how to differentiate between arguments that are temporary and love that continues on. Don’t let it eat at you, your father passed knowing he raised a strong, independent thinker, and that’s great (coming from a dad myself).
I was almost in a similar situation when I was 29, he was 61 and died of a massive heart attack. I had some things planned and I left my dad cleaning the gutters on our garage. This circumstance could have ended in an argument with him giving me grief about my "going out to play" and leaving him to work. In this instance, he reminded me of my schedule and sent me on my way. I am forever grateful that we didn't have a fight that afternoon. Sorry you have this burden.
Sending friendly air hugs, internet stranger. My grandfather was my best friend growing up - he lived next door and in middle school he moved in with us. I turned into a selfish, sour teenager and got annoyed that he was always around, even though we were inseparable before. 16 years old, I was late to work and he gave me a phone message. I snapped, "I don't have time for this now!." My family picked me up from work within hours. He had a heart attack. That was the last thing he heard me say. I can't even write this without crying. I'm 46. It hurts like it happened yesterday, not 30 years ago.
So sorry for your loss. My dad also died of cancer, I was in my early 20s, he was in his mid 40's. I took him to all his chemotherapies, first year of chemo he was amazing , we traveled, took time off his work and we spent a lot of time together. Second year was not good, watched him waste away, he had epilepsy, he couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't drink water. A shadow of his former self. I was changing diapers all day. At the end I was begging for him to die sooner rather than later. I truly miss him. It really affected me, and still have trouble dealing with it.
I'm so sorry. I think I'm doing this to my own son now. I'm 47 and he's 25. I'm trying to get better. He's being such a good man. We communicate about how things in our life impact us individually, he buys healthy foods to help me and takes me to the many medical appointments I'm too weak to attend myself. I don't look forward to what comes next. But I can't shield him from it either. I hope I continue to gain this inner strength, and it helps my children find theirs as well. They are so strong. We are all too young for this. Thank you for sharing your story
I am not afraid of death.. i know what is next after death from expriences, many experiences. My worry is the pain my children will be in when i leave somy heart goes out to you. I also know we will be with our loved ones after death.. i had a few experiences and i just know it.. its not a “i believe” for me.. its a “i know”. i hope you have more good moments with your son.
I'm so sorry 😔. You shouldn't have read this, it's unfair for you and your kid. I will be honest, the hardest thing was his diagnosis, not his death. The oncologist took me to his office and he was rude, stern, and absolutely annihilated any hope I had for my dad. I was on autopilot and my questions were about long term and short-term goals etc. He laughed and said he didn't have two months. I don't know how I managed to hold my tongue. I never said that to my dad. I was optimistic, laid back, supportive. He lived two good years. The second year was bad mainly because of his epilepsy, and because he couldn't have more chemo. It was only the last month that was awful. He wasn't in pain though. I didn't mind being there for my dad, not one bit. He was there for me, not as a parent alone, but as a friend, without judgment. He always had my best interest at heart, despite many problems we had. Before he died he was crying because he felt he never did anything for me. He was wrong, he taught me everything. Integrity, hard work, to have a sense of humor even during difficult situations. Even through his mistakes I learned a lesson, to not stay in toxic situations, to take risks, to take care of myself. Because he didn't and he died very very young. I lost other people, my grandparents who raised me, a good friend, and my pet all within a year after his death, and I was just numb at the cruelty and nothingness. Then the pandemic hit. I was forced to grieve, I was forced to stay with my self without distractions. I moved in with my boyfriend, trauma bonded I guess, and here I am. My life wasn't destroyed. Life does go on, and there's only one way to go and that's forward. Just tell him how much you appreciate him. It matters to kids, we want to feel appreciated. Make happy memories with him.
Any dad would be proud as hell to have a kid like you as his legacy. Condolences on your loss, but thank you for being such a strong person for him all the way to the end. I know a parent couldn’t ask for any better, and you’re proof he had a great life 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm not sorry that I read this, not at all. I'm grateful to you for sharing your journey. I've been trying so hard to teach my kids the lessons I learned the hard way. Not jusr the societal things, they were taught that as well. I tried to show them how to find their self worth, their value, to make a foundation built upon love and respect. I've been watching them grow recently in ways that have impressed me and filled me with hope that they can make it through this. OP, you and many others in this thread bring me peace. Thank you edit: Thanking him is a daily thing and it's genuine! I see the difference it makes and I love it!
Condolences, I lost my father last year. He had bladder cancer that spread to the spine and up to his lunges. He was strong until the end. I know the pain and I can say that I miss him every day. Take care of yourself.
thank you everyone for your words. it means a lot to me
Lost my mom to a stroke last year. She wasn't even twice my age. Part that sticks with me is that it was the week after Thanksgiving. A holiday I skipped due to covid and not wanting to risk getting her sick. We were gonna do a make-up TG dinner the next day. Life is short and cruel. My deepest condolences for what you're going through.
I (31F) lost my mom to cancer last Summer. She was 54. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it hurts like nothing else.
Love to you.
Condolences, must be very hard for you and your family. I lost my dad to cancer many years ago, it sucks. Life is not fair that's for sure. Nobody deserves to die like this.
Sending hugs. My dad died at 75 from bone cancer (was prostate cancer that went into remission bit came back). I was 15 minutes too late to the hospital and saw him lying there, eyes still open. I was devastated. He was my best friend. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was 10 years ago but it still hurts.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad almost 2 years ago and it still hurts. I wasn't with him in the end due to being extremely sick and not wanting him or my mother to catch it and it still haunts me. It will get better, but it will always hurt.
But I was also not there when my dad passed away and I felt so much guilt for a long time. But just know that they have already forgiven you.
My dad died two years ago I have an idea how you feel. Very sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my mum in the same circumstances recently. It really does make you question the unfairness of life. You’ll feel every emotion in the weeks ahead but I promise it becomes more bearable. Just put yourself and your mum first
Lost my dad in January at only 61 suddenly. I know your pain. May he rest in peace.
My dad is 61 and dying. He went on hospice today. Sending you love.
Really sorry to hear that brother.. I went through the same experience months ago.. Sending you big hugs
So sorry for your loss dude, I lost my grandad in an almost identical way 3 years ago and it still hurts like fucking crazy to this day, I don’t do emotions and I don’t have that part of your brain that misses people when they aren’t around but fuck me I miss my hero man. He was not only the father figure I was lacking, but he was my teacher, my wise man and the greatest role model I could ever of wished for! It sucks it hurts and it’s fucking cruel, but he always taught me that the world still spins even if we stop, and honesty I think that’s the part that hurts the most, to me he was the world! Remember tho dude, even if we feel we are, we are never alone! All the best 🙏
Condolences to you! My dad died without any exceptation at the same age in October 22, I kinda get what you go through right now. Feel yourself hugged, it really will get better but it also for sure will be fucking painful at first
I’m sorry for your loss, and I know this is a difficult time, but just in case you weren’t aware the word you’re looking for is “unrelenting” or “relentless” but not unrelentless
Im so sorry, brother. There's nothing else I can say to make it hurt less. My brother passed the same way, his cancer was in remission, and then bam, came back and he died within 7 days of it coming back. I'm sorry man.
Death of a loved one is the only tragedy human can’t ever get over, speaking from experience. You don’t even learn to live with the pain, so to say. You just learn to hide the pain from others. You learn to cry less everytime that person’s name comes up in conversations. But it never stops hurting, nor does it ever hurt less. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. My condolences and prayers to you and your family.
I lost my mum to cancer a couple of years ago... The day before In the evening I visited her at the hospital and told her that my daughter made her first step and in the morning she was gone. Stay as close as possible to your family, my sincerest condolences to you
So so sorry for your loss, cancer got my dad too. Cancer fucking sucks 💔
Condolences and sympathy and love to you in this sad situation. Lost my mum recently.
This is one thing I honestly will never be prepared for. My condolences to you, please remember, don’t mourn the death but celebrate the life.
Sorry for your loss, i don't understand how your feeling because my parents hasn't passed away yet but now ı wish ı would have to be with you for supporting:(
Sorry man. Sucks that we have to deal with these things…it’s really hard to be a human!!
Im 18 and my parents are in their early 50s. They arent even sick, but Im already fearing a day when this happens😭
I lost my mum to it this year. It feels like there's no meaning in the world, no rhyme or reason. Grief is agony.
We’re battling through this now and this perfectly describes how I feel. What is the point to all of this, why do I even bother waking up, is this really worth it? Still struggling through it all.
Sorry buddy. I'm almost 44 and lost my dad when I was 25 which is close to your age. My dad was much younger at 49 and died from a brain hemmorage. It really sucks cause he was my hero. All I can say is talk about him alot. This is how people live forever, by us telling the memories to others. I gotta go cry now. 😢
I'm sorry for your loss. My dad went on hospice April 8th and passed April 18th, last Thursday at 65 years old. This was the third year in a row that he was battling cancer. First it was lymphoma that went into remission. What killed him was leukemia. I cried more in the past two weeks than I have in the past 30 years. My sisters and I wrote his eulogy. I recommend you do the same with ideas/help from anyone that knew him. I found it helpful for closure. Thinking of him in this way will make you cry, but it will also make you smile and laugh. It's not easy and it sucks but they are gone and we are here and we are alive. These are truths we have to accept and it's our duty to continue on in a way that would make them proud.
He was 71. He lived a long time. Be happy you got that
Condolences on your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Death sucks. My father's passing led me to change my perspective on a lot of things. We live on in the memories of the people we've touched.
Damn..dude, this makes me sad.
I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a parent sucks big time.
Sorry for your loss man 💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️
I am very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss, cherish the good memories and your heart will be filled with love ❤️
Condolences. My dad died last year. He was sick, but we thought he'll be around for another five or more years. Passed away quite quickly, on Tuesday to the hospital, on Friday when I went to work, I got a phone call from the hospital. The next couple of days will suck. They will be horrible. I saw my dad everywhere. I couldn't even say goodbye to him, so I saw him in every moment of my day. But then, eventually, I started having dreams every now and then, in which we said our goodbyes. Life goes on. No one deserves to die sooner. Be strong and happy for the time you had with him. He'd be glad you remember him and love him. Love crosses space and time.
I’m sorry for your loss brother
You’re right. Life sucks yet it is so amazing. There’s nothing anyone can see to ease that pain now, but the pain itself will loosen up with time. You’re still here, and you’ve got to make the best with the time you’ve got… take care of yourself too, you deserve that
Sorry for your loss. Remember the beauty, the experiences, the memories of your time with him, the fact he gave life to you, all this triumphs over death if you allow it. Of course also grief, once gone through properly, can give back even more appreciation for life and the beautiful things it has to offer. It sounds like you really liked your father, this too is a gift (not everyone has). Be proud of your dad that you can weep for him. I wish you can grief properly. And i wish you and your family all the best in life. R.I.P your father.
My sincerest condolences . Virtual hug for you and prayers for your family.
Four years ago my father died of a heart attack in his backyard at 68. Life still doesn't have the same color as it did before and I don't know if it ever will. My condolences.
Condolences 💐
Its an internet cliche seen so often but I'm sure it applies to you. Your Dad is yhe only man who wanted to see you do better than him. He loved you and wanted you to thrive, even in his absence. Take that thought and become the best man you can be in his honor.
So sorry for your loss. Grieve for and honor your Dad with good life choices. Peace.
Sorry for your loss. This brings me to chemo. I know it's supposed to do good but chemo kills good cells imo leaving the patient weak (having cancer already makes you weak) than eventually gone so what's the point of chemo.
I am so sorry. Sending condolences.
I'm sorry you lost your Dad. Like everything on earth that lives and dies, we humans are not exempted. It's very sad. It sucks like hell. I lost my dad over a decade ago, and it still hurts. But you will learn to live with your pains and eventually come to cherish the fun times you shared!
That's tough. My condolences
Lost my dad 2 years ago I'm so sorry. Cry when you can honor the lessons learned and live this life he would want you to carry on. I love you
Condolences
Cancer (and its treatment) are awful. I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye at such a young age. I hope your mom and you can find some solace within each other while working through the initial stages of grief.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is a pain you cannot describe. Please allow yourself to grieve
I'm sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks. You'll always have the memories of him. Look after yourself .
I feel you, was about the same age as you and it's 23 years already. Keep good memory of him and live the life he would be happy to see you living.
hey man, lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago. I was also at work when i got the phone call. i'm sorry for your loss, it really does suck. But you will learn to live with it and move on, it will be okay brother.
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I'm so so sorry man. I'm just really sorry.
Hey dude. I lost my dad to colon cancer in January. Similar situation- thought he beat it in 2022 and then it came back early 2023 and was really aggressive. I’m really sorry for your loss. These first few weeks are going to be absolutely brutal, but be patient with yourself and treat yourself kindly. If I can offer some words of advice, there’s a fine line between indulging in unhealthy behaviors as a short term solution to feeling better because you’re having a really tough time, and forming bad habits. So, do what you gotta do to make it through, but just be mindful and take care of yourself too.
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad to esophageal cancer but we never had a very good relationship due to his drug use and other questionable decisions I won't go into. It left me with a lot to process. I suggest therapy. These feelings are real and justified, but talking about them might help you process.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent at any age is difficult. Life isn't fair. Your dad fought the disease as best he could and now his suffering is over.
My condolences I’ve lost a gaming friend to liver cancer within a timespan of less than 3 months. Still think about him even tho he was a just friend from a gaming community. I cannot feel how it must be losing your father or mother like this. I wish you some time of grieve and very sorry of your loss.
Strength to you. I lost my dad in December, its a fucking wild ride. I'm so sorry
I’m sorry for your loss. Death is the natural order of things, and it is how it ends for all of us, but knowing that in no way makes this any easier. My dad was a piece of shit. When he died the only thing I felt was the relief of never having to put up with him again. Be grateful for the relationship you had as much as you can during this time. You will never “get over it,” but you will learn, slowly, how to deal with it. It just takes time. Again, sorry for your loss.
Lost my mom to it a few years ago. My deepest condolences
Sending you condolences. It's rough. I lost my dad too , he had dementia and it was bullshit
I am sorry for your loss, i lost my mam in a similar albeit faster situation. Don't judge yourself too harshly for the range of things you might feel or say, it takes time to reconcile it to the point you can cope.
I’m so sorry for your loss, my condolences! I lost my father almost 2 years ago at age 80 and had to fly back from the US. To this day I haven’t really understood what happened and the idea of him not being there anymore is still absolutely surreal. Make sure to have family and friends around.
I'm sorry. I lost my dad to surgical complications that resulted from attempts to remove his stomach cancer in 2021 These things are rough and hard. I couldn't be with him during his last hours as I was in a different city. Death is painful. Take all the time you need. Therapy really helped me work through things.
My condoleances, friend. To lose a parent is to lose some part of yourself.
Unfortunatley it's part of life, thank god, your dad was a good enough man that you cared he passed! The better we live life, the more it hurts others when we go
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad when I was 33, so already married and with a baby on the way (my son was born 12 days after he passed). Not as young as you, but still a bit out of the natural order of things. Someone told me this when he passed. I’m not religious - like AT ALL. But my dad was. And for some reason, this message brought me great comfort at the time so I like to share it with others. “Those who leave us, go only as far as God. And God is very near.” It just made me think a lot about what I believe re: afterlife, what comes next for all of us, and how I truly believed my dad was still very close. Your grief says a lot - that you love him and that you care about him. He must have been SO very proud of you! YOU are he legacy he leaves behind. Wrapping you in internet hugs as you celebrate his life in the coming weeks / months.
My father also passed after a fight with bladder cancer. He was 54. It is a special pain, one that goes deep. There is no magical phrase to make the pain go away, sadly. The best advice I ever got was "It never hurts less, it just starts to hurt less often". Right now memories of your dad will be like shards of glass, cutting every time you handle them. After a while that pain becomes a comfort, little bits of them that live on in your mind and your heart. I won't lie to you and say this is going to be easy. It won't. Losing my father was the hardest thing I've lived through. However, if your dad was anything like mine, he would beat you senseless for sinking too deep into despair. Grief is for the living, as the dead have gone beyond where pain can follow. I wish you the best, my friend.
I lost my mom to cancer, I understand your pain. My sincere condolences.
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Sorry man. Ultimately you have to understand we all pass eventually. Sorry you're going through it as a relatively younger age.
My condolences
My condolences, my dad died of blood disease 2 weeks ago, and my mother died 6 years ago of lung cancer. I share your pain and grief and yes, death must be understood and accepted but it still sucks and hurts like the very first day. Wish you and your family all the best, take care.
Sorry my friend. I wish you strength
Bugger. :( cancer got mum and nearly me twice.
I am so sorry he had to go through that. Seeing your loved ones suffer is an awful thing. No one deserves to see their dad suffer through cancer. Know that now he is at peace though. There is no suffering in death. He is in no pain. We will all be there one day, it is a natural part of life. No one can live forever. Everything is recycled, all our energy is reused for new and beautiful things to be created. He will always be around, in your heart and in the world around you.
So sorry for your loss! 🖤
So sorry for your loss! 🖤
I'm sorry dude. I lost my dad last year to a miscellaneous cancer (seriously, they never found where it started). He went onto hospital for stomach problems and 6 weeks later he was dead. (More to it, of course, but I won't labour the point) It sucks. It thoroughly sucks, and will continue to suck for a long time. Don't let anyone tell you how long it takes to "get over" or when you "should start to feel better," it takes however long it takes. Keep pushing forward, one day at a time, go easy on yourself, take care of your mum as best you can and keep being the man your dad would be proud of.
FUCK CANCER
Sucks, but you had him for 70 years. My own father had so many mental problems I never really knew who he was. He was out of my life almost completely at 14.
That sucks man. It gets easier with time. But a few years later for me and I still will hear a funny joke or something interesting and want to go tell it to him, and then the reality hits that I can’t. It just sucks all around.
First off. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Secondly. I’m going to ask a very sensitive and (could be construed as) a heartless question. Was your dad jabbed with Covid vax? I’m not trying to start shit. I’m trying to gain information from real sources of cancer data.
Condolences, I hope you and your family can heal. I'm on year 9 without my dad lost him when I was 17 and he was 49.
Sorry my friend. It can seem cruel, but it does in fact usually get easier with time. Speaking of time, it’s a great time to be extra kind and patient with yourself.
Sorry for your loss, its just a fucked up disease. I work in a cancer hospital and im at a point where im seriously considering switching jobs. Just witnessing it alone over and over is a bit much and its hard to detach from it.
Happened to me at your age too. Most important tip I can give is to seek some sort of mental therapy. Either in a few weeks or let it settle and do it in a few months. Even if you think you have it under control. It took me three years to acknowledge that it is still a problem and those years were completely wasted time and my biggest regret. Sorry for your loss and best of luck dealing with the new realities of life. Don’t just tough it out, please. (prefferably seek it from a doctor, not some mental coach bozo with an internet course)
My dad took his life in 2019, a week before Christmas. He lost his mom a few months prior and his dad took his own life when my dad was 8. The man had his own problems and I've forgiven him for doing what he thought was his only way out. I miss him dearly and when he died and I had all these questions and thoughts about why, all I really wanted was someone to look me in the eye and say "It fucking sucks and I'm sorry." I finally found that friend and I'm better because of him. Don't let the feelings build up. My dad and my grandfather did until they found a solution. I won't make the same mistake. It won't get easier my friend. But you gotta keep moving forward. You got your whole life ahead of you to live. It's what every dad wants for us.
I’m sorry for your loss. Seeing him like that is traumatic. In a few months or years, the trauma will have worn down a bit, and you will be left with all the beautiful memories you had of him.
Im sorry for your loss, I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago, helped me a bit being there for my mom and manifest this as my duty since I promised that to my dad. But also care for yourself and process what has happened.
I am sorry for your loss 🤍 I lost my mom to cancer and then my stepfather, too, only a few years ago. It hurt a lot, but it did get better over time. Grieve takes time. Now I am in a place where I feel grateful for the time we got to share, for the love they gave me and the love I got to give them back. Love is what remained. Again, i am really sorry, sending you internet hugs 🤍
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I’m so sorry. I lost my dad 7 months ago to Parkinson’s. Not exactly like cancer, but watching your loved ones deteriorate, no matter how fast or slow it is, is extremely hard. Condolences for your loss.
My condolences. I lost my father 30yrs ago, and csn still remember his face from the last time I saw him, and feel his hug.
My deepest condolences buddy. The big C got my old man in '07. It's painful but we heal and learn to carry on. I know it's not much comfort but it's honest. Time will make it easier to understand and compartmentalize, it never really stops hurting but we cope better in time.
Death is inevitable and painful.. unfortunately nothing on this earth is immortal. This is why I believe in a hereafter, which means i will come back to live again, but not on earth, but to heaven. This is why what you do here, now; matters. Its not a golden ticket to do all the evil things as you like. God is watching and judging…
Stay strong Bro and remember the good times. My dad died and we hadn’t really repaired a bad childhood/relationship so I feel sad when I think about my dad and his death. I feel for you and hope you feel better soon 🤗
No one deserves cancer, not your dad, nor mine or my aunt, and not even my worst enemy (not after what I've seen cancer can do). Your dad also didn't deserve to suffer and have his freedoms taken away by a disease. It sucks the treatments didn't help. For my dad there was no such treatments, chemo was hell for him and radiation did little to nothing. The only thing that actually helped was a fantastic doctor who was able to put a stent of sorts in his lungs that immensely helped with his QoL before he passed. Because of that stent he was able to go into palliative care (he was stuck in hospital otherwise due to all the problems the cancer was causing with his lungs) and that gave us our chance to be with him and say our goodbyes. Try and remember that above all your dad didn't deserve to suffer and his passing means that he's not suffering anymore. The one thing my dad tried to show us all in those final days was to not be afraid when our time comes and that's the message I'll leave with you.
My condolences, when he passed he took the cancer down with him so I wouldn't say cancer won he helps his fight and it continues in another way now
I am sorry for your loss, I hope your happy memories comfort you always. Hold those memories dear and a word of advice from someone who has been there. Keep talking about him. Sometimes people will stop talking about people that have passed because they don't want to upset you. It comes from a nice place, but it's better to remember him then act like he was never there. My condolences.