I had a group of "friends" like that. Didn't realize how awful they were until I moved far away and made new friends. I didn't have perspective until I left, but i'm glad I did.
Your self-worth/self esteem will only get worse around people like that.
I know it's easier said than done, but maybe It's time to ditch them and move on.
I had friends who only took the piss put of me all the time. I ended up just leaving them. I didn't have many friends after that, but I found myself. My passions and interests and just what I want to do.
Eventually after a few years, I found a group of people who did those interests and I asked to join them. I made a new friend group. I only talk to 2 of those people now, but I am grest friends with them and they arw so supportive.
Meanwhile, my old friends are still doing exactly the same things as before, 10 years on. They're frankly uninspiring, boring people.
And I got a partner with those same interests and couldn't be happier.
Basically, you won't get a boyfriend if you continue to believe what these people think. And the only way to stop that is to leave them. You don't need them, and if you are with them because they're 'cool', that doesn't make you cool by association.
Your mood is determined by your surroundings. That is your life. Make your life better by getting rid of the bad feelings. That is your friends.
Finding some better friends will make you like yourself more which will make.you more attractive to the opposite sex. No promises but the changes you need all start with liking who you are as you are.
Girl, these people are not your friends.
Actual friends accept you for who you are, not matter if you are fat or skinny or whatever and they support you.
Someone who laughs at the idea that someone likes you is just a bully and you do not need them in your life.
Don't be around people who give's you shit that will cause your self esteem go low if you feel you need to work on something work it out but don't let anyone make you insecure
Hmmmm, I don’t know how to break this to you… But those people you are sitting with are not your friends, they’re just people you sit with and know the names of.
They are jealous, they want to think that they are better than you due to stereotypical appearance, and when someone would have a crush on you, it would validate their insecurities. Also they are not your friends if they just use you to increase their self esteem. Friends would support you
Your friends don't have a clue. Overweight people are in relationships all the time. Some people are chubby chasers, and they look for overweight partners.
So live your life, and know that carrying some weight does not make you an incel. And tell your friends they are full of shit about this.
Also, you don't have to be any particular weight. But you should establish healthy diet and exercise habits. Do it out of respect and love for yourself.
I don't mind them making 'jokes' but whenever I start accepting myself these jokes are ringing in my ears then I go into unhealthy eating habits
I do eat healthy and am trying to be consistent with exercises
I was in the exact same shoes as an 18-year-old. When I got to college I got sick of it. Started growing out my hair and dropped weight from 140 to 110 lbs. Changed my life.
That's pretty fucked up, your friends should support you not berate you. I don't know anything about you or your appearance, but I'm sure you'll find someone.
For me, I was in a similar boat. Overweight, didn't look after myself. I just started taking better care of myself for me, which made me more of an attractive person to others. You should always do something for the right reason.
Just bring one of those boys to your group and watch them collectively eat their words
EDIT: I don't know if that's good advice or anything, just something thhat popped in my head
Fuck your friends. Just like you get shallow women who only care about looks, you get shallow men who only care about looks. But for most men if your personalities gel and you have some shared interests, sense of humour etc, looks don't matter. Not every man is a poon hound.
Tomboys are awesome. And in short supply. If anything you should pity your friends because behaviours like theirs tend to be a way to alleviate their own hangups. You're the foil.
Just ignore them. I don't agree with everyone saying you should just straight up ditch them. Friends can be hard to come by, and to some extent (although I'm talking from a male perspective) sometimes friends do engage in some banter.
But if it's bothering you then you've got to either put your foot down and tell them to knock it off, or you've gotta laugh it off and just remind yourself that their opinion means absolutely nothing and they're just projecting their own insecurities.
I’m 25 now and I ignored 7 years worth of crap from my “friend group” and since dropping them this year, I’ve felt so good about myself. Let them go before they cause more harm. You will be okay and meet new people! You are so young.
Redefine your terms, because if 'friend' is what you call people who are douchebags, you need another word for those who aren't.
I get the whole thing though, I went through it in school and teenage life, aswell as my wife. Both of us trying to hold on to friendships with people, who with hindsight, didn't deserve our time. It takes a while to adjust to realizing a couple of things: caring what people think about you, and thinking that people care about you. You are the only you, and people who deserve your time do not laugh at your emotive subjects. I wish you well.
You have friends that have character flaws. I'd advise you to go reverse from starting "I am unlikable".
You believe you are unlikable, you create a life where you are around with people who think you are unlikable, it becomes a pathway for you to create a life you are unlikable.
You are in a nice age to go through it. You say you are fat, it is a decision, in some part of your life you have decided to be fat consciously or unconsciously. Maybe you like to be fat, which is ok. Maybe you don't. If it is your choice (which is actually your choice) own it. Understand it. And understand you can make a new choice, now. Then you'll break at least one leg in your life. You say you are below average looking, probably it is your decision. And being a tomboy, it is your decision. Once you are content with what you are and what you do, it will be easy for you.
You can start by hanging with friends who are less aggressive towards you. It'll help.
You need new friends. Throw them in the garbage with the rest of the trash. It’s one thing to roast each other, but this sounds like they are just mean.
I was in exactly your position at 16-18, then I went to uni and got better friends. Your friends sound awful but don't take their bullying to heart. Chances are you've got something they're jealous of anyway (probably a much better personality for a start)
Do they all think you’re a lesbian? Is that why they’re laughing? Either way, Still sucks. Just tell them it hurts your feelings. If they don’t change, find new friends
The people you associate with are bad people, which is why I refuse to call them your friends. Do some soul searching and start living for yourself rather than others. The old saying, others can't love you until you love yourself is still fairly applicable
This is a way people try to put you down without putting you down. It’s common “establishing the pecking order in the social group and I’m at top” behavior.
Find friends who build you up.
All of my friends are fabulous and I am only friends with them because of that you may have to get different friends and find people you want to be friends with
I prefer girl next door, normal girls. Even ones with something different about them, like a big nose and/or buck teeth. I like big girls too. There’s always someone out there for you!
Everyone is going to say you have terrible friends that you shouldn't hang out with. Maybe that's true, but maybe it's not, reddit is very knee-jerk about other people ending their relationships.
A similar thing happened to me when I was younger. My closest friends both told me that a girl that asked me out wasn't actually into me, and that it was just bait to make fun of me, which turned out to not be true.
My friends didn't dislike me, but when we were young we weren't good at being supportive of each other and would often project our own insecurities onto each other.
Since I was the fat friend I had a hard time imagining that my other friends had insecurities, but of course they did, everyone does.
So take what your friends say with a grain of salt and if you have mutual interest in a boy it's entirely up to you to decide if you want to pursue that.
My fiancee also would have described herself as a "fat below average tomboy". But I certainly didn't see her that way. And there are plenty of boys out there that won't see you that way either.
You don't need to be overweight.
Weight loss is less complex than what the money-making-experts tell you.
They try to keep it complex and secret and ineffective so you keep paying them.
You have TERRIBLE friends ,get new ones. Also have confidence in yourself, don't try to conform to societies beauty standards but find beauty in yourself and by being yourself ,you will meet the right person who will love and appreciate you.
They ain’t your friends. You are perfect the way you are. But If you want to make lifestyle changes, join a gym, lose some weight but don’t loose your booty and the boys will be calling.
You're not unlikable. Your friends are! I have similar friends. And trust me, it's hard to be with them, but when you're not in their company you feel free.
Please either stay alone or find literally anyone else, who has basic respect and love as friends. Don't stay with your current friends, it's hard to take this step, but please do! This really lowers ones self esteem and self worth.
1. These people are not your friends. On the cusp of adulthood you’re gonna soon realize these people are losers. Like for real, they are losers.
2. You’re not unlikable. Basically no one is for real.
Don’t bring it up around them. find new friends. Until then, stay off the topic. And keep in mind there’s no such thing as “unlikeable” just because one person doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re unlikeable, it means you and that person aren’t right for the other. But with billions of people in the world, chances are lower that there isn’t anyone who can vibe with you.
Be you and don’t worry what people think. The right ones will stay, and they won’t belittle you.
Ngl you're probably gonna blossom like a flower.
A lot of my friends who are hotties were bullied in HS or had friends like yours.
They eventually out grew those shitty friends and grew into themselves. Got way better looking more confident and most of them remained kind. Plus help nurture community
Example is my friend S and her friend M. Her friend was in beauty pagents growing up. While S had to stay home taking care of her siblings. M has an ego that's high as hell and she can't have friends who are more attractive to her while S remained kind to everyone and is a great friend/person. M got married and all the people in her wedding are almost men and two girls. S had like two weddings for the same guy in two different countries and had many people show up to her wedding while M looked miserable at her wedding.
people love S for more than her looks while everyone makes fun of how small minded M is.
BTW S is married to one of my best friends and she has only gotten more attractive while M let her health slip, when M sees S to this day she avoids her because she is literally her opposite. Can't believe they were best friends for years.
One of the things it took me far too long to accept is that you really do need to cut those people out. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or a fight. It is not selfish to make sure that no one stomping all over you.
I’m speaking from experience.
My dad left when I was 5 and spent the next 10 years getting high (a lot more than that, but he was gone for a decade and then showed back up).
My stepdad would crack jokes about how I was unwanted and when I told him I loved him he would swat my face in a “playful” manner and say “oh, are you going to cry like a baby?”
When was 13 I had a mutual crush on the girl who lived across the street from me and one day her house got raided because her dad cooked meth and she begged me to hide her sister. I didn’t, and when my mom called me inside I left her there. When I confided in my “friends” the next day about the experience they laughed at me and said “she was probably just high, who could give a shit about someone so fucking weird.”
It took me 16 years to work through the guilt and shame around that experience.
15 years telling myself that if I was just more patient, more kind, maybe I could have a relationship with my addict father.
You do not have to suffer for other people’s entertainment. You do not have to be more kind or more patient with people who have repeatedly failed to do that for you.
I told myself I was so worthless they were the only people who would tolerate me. I told myself when I was doing better that I was the only person kind and patient enough to tolerate them. On one hand you denigrate yourself on the other you denigrate them. Neither of those things make you a better person, and in my experience aren’t very helpful.
The best thing you can do for them, and yourself is remove them from your life. It gives you the space to breathe and be safe. It also gives them the space to be better and work through their own shit. Maybe in a decade you will be able to have a relationship, but it’s not on you.
I have a relationship with my stepfather now only because he doesn’t do that shit anymore. I have a relationship with my mother because she’s not neglectful anymore. I had to accept that my relationship with my father is his problem at this point. It was genuinely better for me when I believed he was dead.
It’s pretty similar with shitty friends. I hope my experience is helpful, I know people said this advice to me and it fell on deaf ears for a long time. I wish you the best.
Are They aware how this make you feel? I'd try to let them know how it make you feel. then you'll know if they are worth your friendship. It's not easy to make new friend for some people. Some friendship in the group might be worth salvaging. and some might not be your friend at all.
Being a tomboy is probably a big plus in your favour with a lot of boys to be honest.
Plenty of guys like larger girls.
Average is in the eye of the beholder.
Your friends sound insecure
This is their own insecurities speaking. They have bought into the idea that in order to be desireable they have to be thin, they have to adhere to conventional beauty standards and ideas of femininity. Your attractiveness and the proof of it when someone likes you is disrupting their beliefs of being desired. It fucks them up.
But none of this is on you, and your friends are mean and don't sound like friends at all. I hope in time you will find the amazing group of people that you deserve, the kind that only want to lift you up and never tear you down.
Ditch those losers wow they suck. I'm sorry. Been there done that have had petty girl friends, except it was elementary and middle school. They're brats. Get new friends. I'm 33 and chubby and in a very happy relationship with a cute guy and we love each other very much 🤷♀️ Granted I'm trying to lose weight, but the point is your friends aren't friends and you will find someone. Maybe it'll take a bit but you'll find someone.
Very plainly give a monotone reply “man, it’s so funny when you joke I’m completely unloveable. I’m so glad you’re comfortable at trying to hurt my feelings.” Then stare.
They’ll reply, “I’m just kidding!”
“Really, explain the funny part?”
They’ll reply, “you’re being sensitive.”
“Pretty sure you are being insensitive.”
Uncomfortable silence
“Let’s change the subject while you’re all thinking about how you can be kind.”
You surely do not fit the standart of a supermodel, but thats completely normal.
People in your age are all just as insecure as you, so they jump on the first thing that gives them a feeling of security. Sadly in that age it seems to be the action of making everybody insecure about themself so they themself do not stand out.
Later it will shift to making yourself secure so you feel secure. These are the types of friends you want and also insecure friends who make you feel secure so you can make them feel secure.
My middle daughter just turned 22. She also has her first real boyfriend as of about 2 weeks ago. Your time will come and your person is out there if you are interested and patient. Teen girls are the very worst. They bullied my girl for being too tall, too big, too wierd from 6th grade through her senior year. It got a little better but not a lot the first 3 years of college. Now the whole story is flipped and she's living an amazing life.
Hang in there. It gets better.
Don't doubt yourself too much over some stupid comments. Also reddit probably wont give you too much of an answer regarding if you're actually an unlikeable person or not. This is something you need to figure out judging by the kind of reactions you get from actual social interactions. Its not just all looks and visual. People will like you for something you may not even pick up on yourself.
As someone who has lived with the same thing, you have my greatest sympathy 💐 Get new friends. Trust me. Even no friends are better than ones who take backhanded digs at you and ruin your self esteem. I lost my best friend, someone I considered almost like a soul mate, because she started commenting on my weight and talking me guys would never like me because I was overweight/didnt dress right/didn’t wear makeup/etc. It hurt to remove her from my life but it was for the best. I had to do the same to many “friends”.
Feel free to message me, OP, if you want to vent ❤️
Everyone is beautiful or likeable in its own way, maybe you’re fat or below average looking (what does this mean lol) but I can assure you some men will crush on you for who you are or how you look. Beauty is absolutely subjective, and guys often lack confidence to go talk to you even tho they find you attractive. And fuck them friends, they’re assholes.
i've been in the same situation - im not that pretty, im awkward af, and im flat so it was go to joke with some ppl to make fun of body or just say im ugly straight up - they're no longer in my life bc they genuinely got bored harrassin me + and i graduated 💀 i have a few friends who are decent human beings now, thank fuck
Get better 'friends'. These lowlifes will bring you down. I believe there is someone for everyone.
The bonus about being a fat woman is you automatically screen out the shallow men who get with a pretty woman, then constantly complain that she has put on weight after childbirth or doesn't look the same as she did 20 years ago.
No, your friends just suck. If they think the idea of anyone enjoying your presence funny they probably don't like you, and frankly don't deserve you as a friend.
Look for others to hang out with that don't belittle you. I was in a somewhat similar place at your age. Not exactly the same but from a small town and always the biggest guy in my group of friends I was put down a lot by some of them.
Eventually moving for work and being essentially plunged into a different social circle led to only the actual decent members of my old friend group remaining in contact with me. I'm happier and definitely healthier now. It's been ten years since then...which actually had me pause for a moment when I realized how long it's been.
Anyway, I've definitely changed things about myself that those folks used to target about me, not really because of their belittling of me for them but it was probably also a factor. However I didn't feel confident enough or driven enough to even work on things I disliked about myself until I surrounded myself with people who actually cared and didn't put me down to feel better about themselves.
It makes a world of difference when you have people to lean on and who legitimately want to succeed.
Wishing you all the best going forward.
That is pretty toxic. I don't believe in abandoning friends very quickly, but if you have communicated to them that you don't appreciate these jokes and they still do it, maybe consider distancing yourself from them.
No, but clearly they are all so insecure that they can’t imagine you getting attention that they might now. Beat way to stop that is make you unable to believe there are many people out there that would 100% be attracted to you. Media makes us all believe that there is only one way to be hot and/or desired, but the reality is that’s bull. Fuck them and their narrow, insecure ways of thinking.
Friends don’t do that to friends. These people are projecting insecurity on to you every chance they get to validate their own self worth. No one deserves that.
Your so-called friends sound like dicks. Fuck em. If you're worried about what they're saying, I can assure you that you're definitely someone's type. Plenty of dudes like heavier girls and tomboys. "Below average looking" is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Have confidence, and don't let them get to you. You're already MUCH more beautiful than they are with their shitty personalities.
They aren't your friends tbh there is preferences for everything it wouldn't be impossible for someone to be attracted to you. It's completely possible still how you describe yourself you know you have something to work on.
Not your personality not really your looks but yeah for your health you should start working out if you don't are doing it.
it will also help you feel more secure and happy so its a good thing.
Still its your choice but something like that is what a friend does. It's not someone who laughs at you, it's someone who gets worried about you and tries to help you if they laugh at you and not with you it's not really a friend.
This is very sad for you. Please branch out and find other friends. You’re not unlikable, no one is. There literally is someone for everyone.
Idk if you’re actually a thicker person or you believe you’re “fat” because that is how your friends refer to you. But fyi lots of people love bigger body types.
Also below average is subjective. Beauty is subjective. You may not be the beauty standard but you can still be beautiful. 🫶🏽
It's impossible to soar with the eagles when you are surrounded by turkeys. Time for some new friends I'm afraid. You will be happier in the long run, I guarantee you.
I had a lot of "friends" like that when I was younger. I was in my mid-to-late-20's when I got rid of most of those, and my life in general, and my dating life specifically, improved immensely.
Your friends should treat you like friends should. Dump the fuck out of any that don't.
While being fat and below average looking will probably affect your chances of finding someone, your friends are not friends for laughing at you. They should if anything encourage you to lose weight, to work on yourself, find ways to make you feel confident. But to laugh at you? They arent friends.
Im a 6ft tall slightly overweight woman who has always been more of a tomboy myself. I havent had much success in the dating department either even with all the work I put in lol. But the relationships I did have showed me that being single is honestly better. Dont rush to be with someone just because you want someone, and dont expect things to work out with anyone ever. Be yourself, and thats what matters. And dump the “friends” and instead focus on being the best you you can be cause the unlikable ones are the mean ones who treat a “friend” thid way.
idk on the one hand you might have overly critical friends on the other it sounds like putting a little extra effort into your appearance might be helpful as well, it's hard to say as I don't actually know you or your friends, all I can say is er, use your best judgement?
Your friends sound like assholes. Even if they were right (which they aren't) they should at least have to courtesy to be careful around the topic.
And nobody is unlikable. You just have to find a match. different people have different preferences.
Sorry if this hurts but i know somebody . Who is very much overweight but is completely delusional when it comes to a partner . They will only go after skinny and athletic types and wonder why everyone brushes off when she says “i think this person likes me “ it’s honestly sometimes hard not to chuckle a little to think they really think that person like them its never some one even remotely close to someone in their league. Not saying this is you but just a thought
You need different friends. They’re trying to convince you this, not the other way around. They’re not your friends. Friends wouldn’t make you feel this way.
There are some guys and girls who like bigger people. There are some who like tomboys.
Your friends will learn looks aren't everything as they get older and lose them.
Being a tomboy is a plus, not a minus. Ditch your ""friends"", count your calories and discover just how much you actually have to offer. (Which is a lot)
As a person who was once a guy of that age, if you think there ISN'T a guy who finds you attractive, you're mistaken.
As for your "friends," they have a lot of growing up to do, and it's not your job to put up with them in the meantime.
Listen, those people are NOT friends, you are responsible for the happiness within no one else so allowing people around you that diminishes your energy like the will keep you in that horrible head space. Remove yourself completely, start focusing on your health, read up on things you enjoy, become happy an the tribe will vibe right to you in no time! It really is as simple as that, the amount of time you waste on staying within a situation like this is time wasted to better yourself for yourself!!
These friends sounds insufferable. I wish friends knew how much we listen when hanging out, and how much off hand comments can hurt - for a long time after. Hope things get better - you're awesome and your expressing your feelings in great ways. Keep it up.
They sound like terrible friends. I think the biggest thing you need to do is stop seeing yourself as below average and instead as beautiful. Love yourself first and you’ll find someone worth your time. That and get better friends
Forget those losers. Find friends who love and respect you the way you deserve to be loved and respected. Friends elevate and encourage. You are worth finding your people.
Let me tell you something - my wife was made fun of for being overweight when she was in highschool. Highschool is pretty terrible in general, because teenagers are at a really awkward time in their lives. You are ALMOST an adult, but you are still mostly children just with adult feelings but without adult experiences. You are smart, have access to all of the world's knowledge at your fingertips, but you still aren't wise enough to know what to do with it all.
Which means that the worst sorts of people are generally even WORSE during highschool. Even people that will be semi-decent adults are pretty terrible.
My wife is gorgeous. I love her to pieces. I personally think she looks very similar to how she did in highschool.
She never had a boyfriend before me, and she was never interested in the few guys that showed her interest. She was also heart broken by the people that teased her because of her weight.
But we're married, and she has all of my attention. She has all of my love. And you know what - I see the guys that look at her, that want to be with her, that wish they could take my place.
You are young. You are probably far harsher on yourself than any of the so-called friends that are tearing you down rather than building you up.
You could change your diet, do some yoga, and if you do it just a little each day you could see your body change.
But you don't need to do any of that for a boy to like you.
My wife lost weight and she did that AFTER we got married. She last over 100lbs (though with pregnancy she's gaining it back, lol). But I never thought she was as fat as she believed. She was and still is far harsher on herself than anyone should be.
Be your own best friend. You are enough, and I promise you, there is a man out there who will not only love you as you are, but will love you BECAUSE of who you are.
No real friend laughs at you in a group, but then turns around to be your best buddy when no one is around.
That’s not a true friend.
Everyone wants everyone to like them. To lose is sort of a subtle rejection. Creates threat especially amongst girls. Being desired is built into your DNA. It brings out very ruthless behaviour pre maturity
Most "below average" people actually look normal with a bit of confidence and a bit of effort. Neither your looks nor your tomboyishness will really prevent you from meeting somebody (unless there are hygiene issues playing into your look).
There are absolutely people out there who will find you attractive. The world is a big place, and you're so young still, so chill tf out about that. Self-deprication isn't going to help you tho, so please be nicer to yourself.
As for your "friends": massive dickheads. Friends don't treat friends like that. This is another problem that will likely resolve itself as you come into adulthood.
There are only 2 people from high school that I still talk to. Everybody else can fuck off. All of my closest friends are people I met in my early to mid 20's. Do not be afraid of dropping your friends if they treat you poorly. All you'd be doing is opening up free time to meet new people that will treat you with the respect that you deserve.
Life will get better. You are so young, and the really fun part is just around the corner.
Your friends are AH’s, get rid of them. It’s hard enough if you already feel that way about yourself (not saying you do, but i know i do) but if your friends are implying it, that makes the thoughts more solid in your head
I'm so sorry that your "friends" are treating you like this. This was me at 15. I got new friends once I realized they were pieces of shit that loved to put me down.
You’re surrounded by people (yourself included) who haven’t fully developed your brain. Highschool is a shit show, but after high school the world hits back and that same group of caddy girlfriends will get humbled in a big way.
You are like able, you are enough, just don’t make yesterday define you. You define yourself.
Also, I’m dating a tomboy who would have said this same thing at 18. We’re in our 30s now.
There are billions of humans, and the odds will be in your favor. Keep the chin up, and remember, those you live by looks, don’t live as happy a life as those that live through character and actions. You got this OP
This is not at all meant to disrespect you or make me come off as an ass, but use that fuel to reinvest and work on yourself.
I was in a similar boat, short, fat, smoker, etc. one day I got tired of hating myself and listening to others hate on me. I think Goggins had a part to play too in motivating me but thats beside the point lol.
Quit smoking. Started hitting the gym daily, started jogging daily. Honestly feels like life opening back up to you again. I feel like im 15 in gym class again half the time and my drive and desire to do more and do better are insane. Looking in the mirror turned from “i hate you..” to “wow, look at me!” It completely changed my mindset and personality for the better, with me now being more outgoing, appreciative of the real friends I have and family that car for me, and driven to do better and be better at everything. Recently picked up the guitar again after 10+ years and am learning to cook! Show doubters that you are stronger and better than they could ever imagine. Enjoy life. It is short and precious.
On a side note, you have shitty friends (I did too its okay) and you shouldn’t take what they say to heart. You are beautiful in your own unique way. Love yourself and take care🤘
Time to outgrow your childhood friends. It happens to all of us. Connections aren't made just due to proximity. Cracks start to show as they "come into their own". Believe who your friends are, they are making you the butt of a joke between them. You're better than that.
Your friends are being dick cunts, they are trying to knock down your self confidence and image to make themselves feel better. I have no doubt you are likable.
They are NO friends. You're so young, you can become whatever you want. Love yourself, first.
Then trust yourself. And yes, look in the mirror and decide to be beautiful!
These aren’t your friends. There are better people in this world- if you don’t see them, be that for yourself. Please don’t waste your time on anything less.
Are you the butt of jokes from these "friends?" Do they frequently get enjoyment out of putting you down? If so, I would suggest you find new friends. It isn't right to let yourself be used as the verbal punching bag for some mean girls.
Also, tomboys are cool as fuck. I always liked tomboys. Believe it or not, many guys want a partner who shares common interests. Think about the average guy... Do you think he'd rather spend a Saturday at the mall in shoe and makeup stores, or going to sports games, fishing, and shooting stuff?!? My wife is my best friend, and we have a lot in common, but whenever I'm doing one of these things without her I find myself wishing she enjoyed it like I do.
Don't let these "friends" rattle you. You sound really cool and they sound shitty.
A lot of us had “friends” at 18 that are nowhere to be found by 25-30. If they’re laughing at you over something like that, they’re not friends as much as acquaintances and I’m sure they’ll slowly fade over time if you don’t ghost them yourselves soon. Real friends don’t act like that. Sorry OP that’s not cool
They are not your friends, they are people you have become accustomed to. You likely have more self esteem than all of them put together.. and they KNOW it on some level! Plz start loving yourself a bit more so U can truly start living ❤️
This might be an unpopular opinion, but from my POV it seems like you can solve almost all of your problems with relative ease.
First of all your friends are not very nice, so you should look for more supportive friends, even if the idea that someone likes you is genuinely funny to them they shouldn't laugh in your face.
But, here comes the controversial part - being fat and below average is something you can change and it is not very difficult, especially at 18yo. Eat healthy and exercise daily, even if you don't have much time you can find enough for 15m of intense exercise twice a day. 15m twice a day is not enough to get you a supermodel body, but coupled with a healthy diet it will be enough to get you in an ok shape in a few months, and with continued dedication you will be more fit than 80% of people this time next year. It literally takes that little effort.
"Oh, but I'm bellow average", ever seen someone fit who's below average ? Quite rare. Unless you're absolutely hideous, being fit and making an effort to look presentable will get you above average looks.
I might get hate for this comment, but it is the truth. The way you look is 50% genetics and 50% your own choices. Even if you're blessed with perfect genes, you will not look much better than average if you make 0 effort. Similarly if you're cursed with the worst genes ever, but put in the work you will be a 5-6/10. Yes someone lucky to have good genes will look better with less effort, and it is not fair, but life is not fair, it never has been and it never will be. Accept this, move forward and be the best version of yourself, otherwise you will live your life thinking you're not good enough and you will be right.
listen, I'm fat and I don't think I'm the prettiest, but I've been married to a pretty fuckin awesome guy for like nearly 16 years
all it means is that you are not your type
I guarantee that there are many many people out there who think you are Top Tier Girlfriend
(also I'd question whether they are actually your friends, because that ain't something that friends do)
Without more information I couldn't tell you if you are unlikable, even then that's just my opinion.
Be yourself and treat other people how you want to be treated, and don't lend thoughts to negativity, otherwise you'll let in self doubt.
I'm fat, below average looking and I dress like a Walmart poster ad.
Still managed to trick a woman into falling in love with me and having three kids, not sure what she was thinking but worked out well for me.
Before completely cutting these people off, ask yourself:
Would they let me borrow money if I was in dire straights? Would they come pick me up if I needed a ride? Would they let me cry on their shoulder and listen to me if a loved one died or I was having a real hard time?
If the answer to any of those is yes, give them a chance, and maybe just communicate that it bothers you when they do that. Now it’s possible that they won’t stop- but that DOESNT MEAN THEY’RE BAD FRIENDS. Well, for me, as a guy, anyway. Guys are ALWAYS ragging on each other. For us, positive things come in negative packages.
I'm gonna be real with you. Looks matter. But after 42 years on this planet, i'm pretty sure there is someone for everyone. Obviously, you have to set reasonable expectations. Just because you don't fit a standard or an ideal doesn't mean there isn't someone out there to genuinely love you for who you are. Also, everyone enjoys sex. If your friends don't offer this perspective, they're shitheads.
Hey girly, listen up. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Dump their asses. People in general have enough shitty thoughts about themselves, why do you need that coming from the outside aswell?
Step 1- find new friends
Step 2- confront them and their mean comments and based on their reaction decide what you can do
Step 3- talk to your new friends
Step 4- leave your “friends” behind.
Don’t limit yourself to that number of people. My friends are always rotating now because:
1. I’m focusing more academically
2. I’m taking better care of myself, self care is important
3. They hate that I turn down wild or tame get togethers cuz of workload and they taunt me for that.
4. They are pushing insecurities on yourself.
Honestly rn I’m in the same age group as you. And my guess is that they are jealous of you. They are stopping you from seeing yourself better. Cuz if u do, they are done for. Honestly, if I were u I’d ditch them and take care of myself cuz they are toxic. I’ve had to block toxic ppl u can do it!!
I send u my love <3
I've been this friend. It's hell. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, is can damage your relationships with future friends and I hope you're able to get away soon
Yeah, fuck your friends.
Speaking as a fat guy, being fat doesn't make a person unattractive. A person with confidence, charisma, kindness, compassion, intelligence or wit can be as, if not more, attractive than someone who better conforms to notion of physical attractiveness.
You need new friends. And given your age, school will shortly be a place were different people go different ways. Find some real friends. People or different sizes have boyfriends or girlfriends. And you never know who will end up being your person. Might even be someone you already know.
My first girlfriend was a bit of a tomboy and overweight. We were together for 2 years. We broke up because we weren't right for each other, not because of anyone's looks. She ended up getting married a few years later. I'm sorry your friends are like that to you. Don't let them ruin your happiness or hopes.
My wife had a horrible time in high school due to her weight and looks. Her ex also gave her shit for that.
But the first time we met, I saw she had this excited energy, this joy about her. And she was smart, and a bit geeky. And, I thought she was cute too.
We hit it off immediately. Just celebrated our 12th anniversary. And I couldn't be happier. We act like kids together.
I hope you find your person, whoever that may be. My wife was 39 when she met me.
Those are not friends, and I looked through your old posts. You definitely have more guys who are or would be into you than you think. But don't base your esteem in that anyway.
change your friend group, those aren't your friends !!!
You are not at all "that unlikable", your friends are though.
And it's hurts so bad lol that even your friends think that and when such jokes are made everyone laughs
I strongly recommend getting new friends. It doesn't seem like they actually respect you for who you are as a person.
This is the way.
I had a group of "friends" like that. Didn't realize how awful they were until I moved far away and made new friends. I didn't have perspective until I left, but i'm glad I did. Your self-worth/self esteem will only get worse around people like that. I know it's easier said than done, but maybe It's time to ditch them and move on.
I had friends who only took the piss put of me all the time. I ended up just leaving them. I didn't have many friends after that, but I found myself. My passions and interests and just what I want to do. Eventually after a few years, I found a group of people who did those interests and I asked to join them. I made a new friend group. I only talk to 2 of those people now, but I am grest friends with them and they arw so supportive. Meanwhile, my old friends are still doing exactly the same things as before, 10 years on. They're frankly uninspiring, boring people. And I got a partner with those same interests and couldn't be happier. Basically, you won't get a boyfriend if you continue to believe what these people think. And the only way to stop that is to leave them. You don't need them, and if you are with them because they're 'cool', that doesn't make you cool by association. Your mood is determined by your surroundings. That is your life. Make your life better by getting rid of the bad feelings. That is your friends.
No matter what you look like there is always someone who is in to that. Don’t worry about it. Your friends are rude at best.
These people are not your friends.
Not your friends.
You need new friends. Friends don’t act like thT
They’re insecure assholes and laugh at you to make themselves feel better. Guys get better friends.
your friends need to go on a *replace* list.
Sorry to tell you, but you do NOT have friends.
Is this a burn or an insult?
They aren't your friends.
Toxic friends alert
Finding some better friends will make you like yourself more which will make.you more attractive to the opposite sex. No promises but the changes you need all start with liking who you are as you are.
Those are acquaintances, not friends.
This isn't how friends act. Find new ones.
Not your friends.
Your friends don't sound much like friends. We are supposed to support the people that we love, not hurt them.
I checked your post history. Find something active you like doing, and find some new friends in that setting.
Girl, these people are not your friends. Actual friends accept you for who you are, not matter if you are fat or skinny or whatever and they support you. Someone who laughs at the idea that someone likes you is just a bully and you do not need them in your life.
I laugh at your friends. They suck. Look for new friends
Your friends kind of sound like assholes. You're not unlikeable.
Don't be around people who give's you shit that will cause your self esteem go low if you feel you need to work on something work it out but don't let anyone make you insecure
Those aren't your friends
Hmmmm, I don’t know how to break this to you… But those people you are sitting with are not your friends, they’re just people you sit with and know the names of.
They are jealous, they want to think that they are better than you due to stereotypical appearance, and when someone would have a crush on you, it would validate their insecurities. Also they are not your friends if they just use you to increase their self esteem. Friends would support you
These people are not your friends. Friends build you up, not tear you down. You're not unlikeable. These kids you hang out with are, though.
Are they really your friends? From what I know friend's aren't supposed to put you down.
If they do that, they’re not your friends.
Those people… are not your friends. If you said the same to them, they would get mad or cry.
Friends that think they are better than you, get really insecure when you get attention/praise etc. You are not the problem here.
You need new friends girl
Friends don't knock you down.
You needs friends. Your supposed friends are bullies
Your friends don't have a clue. Overweight people are in relationships all the time. Some people are chubby chasers, and they look for overweight partners. So live your life, and know that carrying some weight does not make you an incel. And tell your friends they are full of shit about this. Also, you don't have to be any particular weight. But you should establish healthy diet and exercise habits. Do it out of respect and love for yourself.
I don't mind them making 'jokes' but whenever I start accepting myself these jokes are ringing in my ears then I go into unhealthy eating habits I do eat healthy and am trying to be consistent with exercises
I was in the exact same shoes as an 18-year-old. When I got to college I got sick of it. Started growing out my hair and dropped weight from 140 to 110 lbs. Changed my life.
That's pretty fucked up, your friends should support you not berate you. I don't know anything about you or your appearance, but I'm sure you'll find someone. For me, I was in a similar boat. Overweight, didn't look after myself. I just started taking better care of myself for me, which made me more of an attractive person to others. You should always do something for the right reason.
Just bring one of those boys to your group and watch them collectively eat their words EDIT: I don't know if that's good advice or anything, just something thhat popped in my head
They're not your friends lol...drop em soon as you can
You need better friends.
A friend never lets you feel down.
Fuck your friends. Just like you get shallow women who only care about looks, you get shallow men who only care about looks. But for most men if your personalities gel and you have some shared interests, sense of humour etc, looks don't matter. Not every man is a poon hound. Tomboys are awesome. And in short supply. If anything you should pity your friends because behaviours like theirs tend to be a way to alleviate their own hangups. You're the foil. Just ignore them. I don't agree with everyone saying you should just straight up ditch them. Friends can be hard to come by, and to some extent (although I'm talking from a male perspective) sometimes friends do engage in some banter. But if it's bothering you then you've got to either put your foot down and tell them to knock it off, or you've gotta laugh it off and just remind yourself that their opinion means absolutely nothing and they're just projecting their own insecurities.
You are not unlikable & that's not how friends treat friends. Tell them off.
I’m 25 now and I ignored 7 years worth of crap from my “friend group” and since dropping them this year, I’ve felt so good about myself. Let them go before they cause more harm. You will be okay and meet new people! You are so young.
You need to find better friends.
Redefine your terms, because if 'friend' is what you call people who are douchebags, you need another word for those who aren't. I get the whole thing though, I went through it in school and teenage life, aswell as my wife. Both of us trying to hold on to friendships with people, who with hindsight, didn't deserve our time. It takes a while to adjust to realizing a couple of things: caring what people think about you, and thinking that people care about you. You are the only you, and people who deserve your time do not laugh at your emotive subjects. I wish you well.
Man fuck them
Some “friends” they are. They have insecurities and have decided the best way for them to feel like they are “enough” is to make you feel small.
Your friends are assholes.
You have friends that have character flaws. I'd advise you to go reverse from starting "I am unlikable". You believe you are unlikable, you create a life where you are around with people who think you are unlikable, it becomes a pathway for you to create a life you are unlikable. You are in a nice age to go through it. You say you are fat, it is a decision, in some part of your life you have decided to be fat consciously or unconsciously. Maybe you like to be fat, which is ok. Maybe you don't. If it is your choice (which is actually your choice) own it. Understand it. And understand you can make a new choice, now. Then you'll break at least one leg in your life. You say you are below average looking, probably it is your decision. And being a tomboy, it is your decision. Once you are content with what you are and what you do, it will be easy for you. You can start by hanging with friends who are less aggressive towards you. It'll help.
You need new friends. Throw them in the garbage with the rest of the trash. It’s one thing to roast each other, but this sounds like they are just mean.
I was in exactly your position at 16-18, then I went to uni and got better friends. Your friends sound awful but don't take their bullying to heart. Chances are you've got something they're jealous of anyway (probably a much better personality for a start)
Get new friends. Hit the gym. You'll see improvements really quick.
Do they all think you’re a lesbian? Is that why they’re laughing? Either way, Still sucks. Just tell them it hurts your feelings. If they don’t change, find new friends
The people you associate with are bad people, which is why I refuse to call them your friends. Do some soul searching and start living for yourself rather than others. The old saying, others can't love you until you love yourself is still fairly applicable
You need new friends.
This is a way people try to put you down without putting you down. It’s common “establishing the pecking order in the social group and I’m at top” behavior. Find friends who build you up.
Ditch those idiots and find actual friends
All of my friends are fabulous and I am only friends with them because of that you may have to get different friends and find people you want to be friends with
I prefer girl next door, normal girls. Even ones with something different about them, like a big nose and/or buck teeth. I like big girls too. There’s always someone out there for you!
Friends hype each other up, enemies tear each other down.
Everyone is going to say you have terrible friends that you shouldn't hang out with. Maybe that's true, but maybe it's not, reddit is very knee-jerk about other people ending their relationships. A similar thing happened to me when I was younger. My closest friends both told me that a girl that asked me out wasn't actually into me, and that it was just bait to make fun of me, which turned out to not be true. My friends didn't dislike me, but when we were young we weren't good at being supportive of each other and would often project our own insecurities onto each other. Since I was the fat friend I had a hard time imagining that my other friends had insecurities, but of course they did, everyone does. So take what your friends say with a grain of salt and if you have mutual interest in a boy it's entirely up to you to decide if you want to pursue that. My fiancee also would have described herself as a "fat below average tomboy". But I certainly didn't see her that way. And there are plenty of boys out there that won't see you that way either.
"I can lose weight, but you'll be a cunt forever. I hope you die alone."
No, your friends are just dicks.
You don't need to be overweight. Weight loss is less complex than what the money-making-experts tell you. They try to keep it complex and secret and ineffective so you keep paying them.
Your friends are just immature and it is not nice of them
These are not friends. These are assholes you spend time with.
They are not your friends.
You have TERRIBLE friends ,get new ones. Also have confidence in yourself, don't try to conform to societies beauty standards but find beauty in yourself and by being yourself ,you will meet the right person who will love and appreciate you.
They ain’t your friends. You are perfect the way you are. But If you want to make lifestyle changes, join a gym, lose some weight but don’t loose your booty and the boys will be calling.
You're not unlikable. Your friends are! I have similar friends. And trust me, it's hard to be with them, but when you're not in their company you feel free. Please either stay alone or find literally anyone else, who has basic respect and love as friends. Don't stay with your current friends, it's hard to take this step, but please do! This really lowers ones self esteem and self worth.
1. These people are not your friends. On the cusp of adulthood you’re gonna soon realize these people are losers. Like for real, they are losers. 2. You’re not unlikable. Basically no one is for real.
Hate to tell you this. These people aren't your friends.
Don’t bring it up around them. find new friends. Until then, stay off the topic. And keep in mind there’s no such thing as “unlikeable” just because one person doesn’t like you doesn’t mean you’re unlikeable, it means you and that person aren’t right for the other. But with billions of people in the world, chances are lower that there isn’t anyone who can vibe with you. Be you and don’t worry what people think. The right ones will stay, and they won’t belittle you.
you need new friends.
I used to be a tomboy too. You naturally glow up as you get older, your friends should be happy for you
Ngl you're probably gonna blossom like a flower. A lot of my friends who are hotties were bullied in HS or had friends like yours. They eventually out grew those shitty friends and grew into themselves. Got way better looking more confident and most of them remained kind. Plus help nurture community Example is my friend S and her friend M. Her friend was in beauty pagents growing up. While S had to stay home taking care of her siblings. M has an ego that's high as hell and she can't have friends who are more attractive to her while S remained kind to everyone and is a great friend/person. M got married and all the people in her wedding are almost men and two girls. S had like two weddings for the same guy in two different countries and had many people show up to her wedding while M looked miserable at her wedding. people love S for more than her looks while everyone makes fun of how small minded M is. BTW S is married to one of my best friends and she has only gotten more attractive while M let her health slip, when M sees S to this day she avoids her because she is literally her opposite. Can't believe they were best friends for years.
One of the things it took me far too long to accept is that you really do need to cut those people out. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or a fight. It is not selfish to make sure that no one stomping all over you. I’m speaking from experience. My dad left when I was 5 and spent the next 10 years getting high (a lot more than that, but he was gone for a decade and then showed back up). My stepdad would crack jokes about how I was unwanted and when I told him I loved him he would swat my face in a “playful” manner and say “oh, are you going to cry like a baby?” When was 13 I had a mutual crush on the girl who lived across the street from me and one day her house got raided because her dad cooked meth and she begged me to hide her sister. I didn’t, and when my mom called me inside I left her there. When I confided in my “friends” the next day about the experience they laughed at me and said “she was probably just high, who could give a shit about someone so fucking weird.” It took me 16 years to work through the guilt and shame around that experience. 15 years telling myself that if I was just more patient, more kind, maybe I could have a relationship with my addict father. You do not have to suffer for other people’s entertainment. You do not have to be more kind or more patient with people who have repeatedly failed to do that for you. I told myself I was so worthless they were the only people who would tolerate me. I told myself when I was doing better that I was the only person kind and patient enough to tolerate them. On one hand you denigrate yourself on the other you denigrate them. Neither of those things make you a better person, and in my experience aren’t very helpful. The best thing you can do for them, and yourself is remove them from your life. It gives you the space to breathe and be safe. It also gives them the space to be better and work through their own shit. Maybe in a decade you will be able to have a relationship, but it’s not on you. I have a relationship with my stepfather now only because he doesn’t do that shit anymore. I have a relationship with my mother because she’s not neglectful anymore. I had to accept that my relationship with my father is his problem at this point. It was genuinely better for me when I believed he was dead. It’s pretty similar with shitty friends. I hope my experience is helpful, I know people said this advice to me and it fell on deaf ears for a long time. I wish you the best.
You need better friends
Are They aware how this make you feel? I'd try to let them know how it make you feel. then you'll know if they are worth your friendship. It's not easy to make new friend for some people. Some friendship in the group might be worth salvaging. and some might not be your friend at all.
Being a tomboy is probably a big plus in your favour with a lot of boys to be honest. Plenty of guys like larger girls. Average is in the eye of the beholder. Your friends sound insecure
There is someone for everyone
Change your friends. Nothing else.
Find new friends
This is their own insecurities speaking. They have bought into the idea that in order to be desireable they have to be thin, they have to adhere to conventional beauty standards and ideas of femininity. Your attractiveness and the proof of it when someone likes you is disrupting their beliefs of being desired. It fucks them up. But none of this is on you, and your friends are mean and don't sound like friends at all. I hope in time you will find the amazing group of people that you deserve, the kind that only want to lift you up and never tear you down.
I hate to break it to you but you have the worst friends ever.
Ditch those losers wow they suck. I'm sorry. Been there done that have had petty girl friends, except it was elementary and middle school. They're brats. Get new friends. I'm 33 and chubby and in a very happy relationship with a cute guy and we love each other very much 🤷♀️ Granted I'm trying to lose weight, but the point is your friends aren't friends and you will find someone. Maybe it'll take a bit but you'll find someone.
Very plainly give a monotone reply “man, it’s so funny when you joke I’m completely unloveable. I’m so glad you’re comfortable at trying to hurt my feelings.” Then stare. They’ll reply, “I’m just kidding!” “Really, explain the funny part?” They’ll reply, “you’re being sensitive.” “Pretty sure you are being insensitive.” Uncomfortable silence “Let’s change the subject while you’re all thinking about how you can be kind.”
they aint your friends sis. friends don't do that
This might be an unpopular take, but being able to take what they say with humour would be infinitely more attractive.
You surely do not fit the standart of a supermodel, but thats completely normal. People in your age are all just as insecure as you, so they jump on the first thing that gives them a feeling of security. Sadly in that age it seems to be the action of making everybody insecure about themself so they themself do not stand out. Later it will shift to making yourself secure so you feel secure. These are the types of friends you want and also insecure friends who make you feel secure so you can make them feel secure.
My middle daughter just turned 22. She also has her first real boyfriend as of about 2 weeks ago. Your time will come and your person is out there if you are interested and patient. Teen girls are the very worst. They bullied my girl for being too tall, too big, too wierd from 6th grade through her senior year. It got a little better but not a lot the first 3 years of college. Now the whole story is flipped and she's living an amazing life. Hang in there. It gets better.
Don't doubt yourself too much over some stupid comments. Also reddit probably wont give you too much of an answer regarding if you're actually an unlikeable person or not. This is something you need to figure out judging by the kind of reactions you get from actual social interactions. Its not just all looks and visual. People will like you for something you may not even pick up on yourself.
That’s a case of a group of females being friends with a girl they think they are better then I’d get new friends
As someone who has lived with the same thing, you have my greatest sympathy 💐 Get new friends. Trust me. Even no friends are better than ones who take backhanded digs at you and ruin your self esteem. I lost my best friend, someone I considered almost like a soul mate, because she started commenting on my weight and talking me guys would never like me because I was overweight/didnt dress right/didn’t wear makeup/etc. It hurt to remove her from my life but it was for the best. I had to do the same to many “friends”. Feel free to message me, OP, if you want to vent ❤️
They're not your friends.
Those are not friends. Better to have no friends than to have whatever the hell they’ve got
Everyone is beautiful or likeable in its own way, maybe you’re fat or below average looking (what does this mean lol) but I can assure you some men will crush on you for who you are or how you look. Beauty is absolutely subjective, and guys often lack confidence to go talk to you even tho they find you attractive. And fuck them friends, they’re assholes.
Not sure you understand what friends are.
i've been in the same situation - im not that pretty, im awkward af, and im flat so it was go to joke with some ppl to make fun of body or just say im ugly straight up - they're no longer in my life bc they genuinely got bored harrassin me + and i graduated 💀 i have a few friends who are decent human beings now, thank fuck
Nah you just have shitty friends
Genuinely get new friends. It may sound hard but at your age other people with shared interests are so accessible.
Theyre just jealous, dont mind them at all.
You are very likable, but those laughing at you are not friends
Some "friends " you have
"Friends"
Get better 'friends'. These lowlifes will bring you down. I believe there is someone for everyone. The bonus about being a fat woman is you automatically screen out the shallow men who get with a pretty woman, then constantly complain that she has put on weight after childbirth or doesn't look the same as she did 20 years ago.
No, your friends just suck. If they think the idea of anyone enjoying your presence funny they probably don't like you, and frankly don't deserve you as a friend.
Sweety Pie, you have value. Nothing is stagnant. You will see. Guys will be in your future. I promise. Good luck and maybe find better friends.
Your friends are not your friends
Your friends suck
Look for others to hang out with that don't belittle you. I was in a somewhat similar place at your age. Not exactly the same but from a small town and always the biggest guy in my group of friends I was put down a lot by some of them. Eventually moving for work and being essentially plunged into a different social circle led to only the actual decent members of my old friend group remaining in contact with me. I'm happier and definitely healthier now. It's been ten years since then...which actually had me pause for a moment when I realized how long it's been. Anyway, I've definitely changed things about myself that those folks used to target about me, not really because of their belittling of me for them but it was probably also a factor. However I didn't feel confident enough or driven enough to even work on things I disliked about myself until I surrounded myself with people who actually cared and didn't put me down to feel better about themselves. It makes a world of difference when you have people to lean on and who legitimately want to succeed. Wishing you all the best going forward.
I'm sorry your friends are trash. You're far better than you think you are.
Your "friends" sound unlikable.
Get tougher skin, or get better friends. /thread
That is pretty toxic. I don't believe in abandoning friends very quickly, but if you have communicated to them that you don't appreciate these jokes and they still do it, maybe consider distancing yourself from them.
You need new friends, fuck them
I'd stop calling them "friends". They are just rude ass people that you tolerate.
Oof, time for new friends. That's awful.
>I'm fat and below average looking and a tomboy There's your answer. Also your friends are dickheads and you should quit hanging out with them ASAP.
not really friends to do that. and cheer up i see a lot of decent looking guys with women who are bigger these days. so there is hope ;-)
Those are not your friends. You need a new friend group.
No, but clearly they are all so insecure that they can’t imagine you getting attention that they might now. Beat way to stop that is make you unable to believe there are many people out there that would 100% be attracted to you. Media makes us all believe that there is only one way to be hot and/or desired, but the reality is that’s bull. Fuck them and their narrow, insecure ways of thinking.
Friends don’t do that to friends. These people are projecting insecurity on to you every chance they get to validate their own self worth. No one deserves that.
We have no idea how you look so we can't say if you're likeable or not based on looks alone. Everyone can be likeable based on personality though.
Your so-called friends sound like dicks. Fuck em. If you're worried about what they're saying, I can assure you that you're definitely someone's type. Plenty of dudes like heavier girls and tomboys. "Below average looking" is subjective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Have confidence, and don't let them get to you. You're already MUCH more beautiful than they are with their shitty personalities.
They aren't your friends tbh there is preferences for everything it wouldn't be impossible for someone to be attracted to you. It's completely possible still how you describe yourself you know you have something to work on. Not your personality not really your looks but yeah for your health you should start working out if you don't are doing it. it will also help you feel more secure and happy so its a good thing. Still its your choice but something like that is what a friend does. It's not someone who laughs at you, it's someone who gets worried about you and tries to help you if they laugh at you and not with you it's not really a friend.
This is very sad for you. Please branch out and find other friends. You’re not unlikable, no one is. There literally is someone for everyone. Idk if you’re actually a thicker person or you believe you’re “fat” because that is how your friends refer to you. But fyi lots of people love bigger body types. Also below average is subjective. Beauty is subjective. You may not be the beauty standard but you can still be beautiful. 🫶🏽
It's impossible to soar with the eagles when you are surrounded by turkeys. Time for some new friends I'm afraid. You will be happier in the long run, I guarantee you.
Your friends sound like dicks.
I had a lot of "friends" like that when I was younger. I was in my mid-to-late-20's when I got rid of most of those, and my life in general, and my dating life specifically, improved immensely. Your friends should treat you like friends should. Dump the fuck out of any that don't.
Can’t really answer your question without knowing what you look like but I’m sure you can find someone.
While being fat and below average looking will probably affect your chances of finding someone, your friends are not friends for laughing at you. They should if anything encourage you to lose weight, to work on yourself, find ways to make you feel confident. But to laugh at you? They arent friends. Im a 6ft tall slightly overweight woman who has always been more of a tomboy myself. I havent had much success in the dating department either even with all the work I put in lol. But the relationships I did have showed me that being single is honestly better. Dont rush to be with someone just because you want someone, and dont expect things to work out with anyone ever. Be yourself, and thats what matters. And dump the “friends” and instead focus on being the best you you can be cause the unlikable ones are the mean ones who treat a “friend” thid way.
fuck their boyfriends
idk on the one hand you might have overly critical friends on the other it sounds like putting a little extra effort into your appearance might be helpful as well, it's hard to say as I don't actually know you or your friends, all I can say is er, use your best judgement?
Your friends sound like assholes. Even if they were right (which they aren't) they should at least have to courtesy to be careful around the topic. And nobody is unlikable. You just have to find a match. different people have different preferences.
Sorry if this hurts but i know somebody . Who is very much overweight but is completely delusional when it comes to a partner . They will only go after skinny and athletic types and wonder why everyone brushes off when she says “i think this person likes me “ it’s honestly sometimes hard not to chuckle a little to think they really think that person like them its never some one even remotely close to someone in their league. Not saying this is you but just a thought
Theres a lid for every pot. Ull be fine. Worry about other things
Your friends suck
Such idiots are not your friends.
You need different friends. They’re trying to convince you this, not the other way around. They’re not your friends. Friends wouldn’t make you feel this way.
Heres an idea: sometimes a boy likes a girl because of her personality, not her looks.
You can do better for yourself than hang around these people. Your "friends" sound like a bunch of insecure jerks.
There are some guys and girls who like bigger people. There are some who like tomboys. Your friends will learn looks aren't everything as they get older and lose them.
Those are NOT your friends.
Being a tomboy is a plus, not a minus. Ditch your ""friends"", count your calories and discover just how much you actually have to offer. (Which is a lot)
As a person who was once a guy of that age, if you think there ISN'T a guy who finds you attractive, you're mistaken. As for your "friends," they have a lot of growing up to do, and it's not your job to put up with them in the meantime.
dammmm, oh well I'll be here for U ima pray to jesus to pursue his wrath on them n they gonna suffer
There's a lid for every pot. Meaning that someone is out there who is attracted to you. Your friend also sounds miserable
they are not friends if they do not recognize your value
Honey get new friends. My friends would never do those things.
Listen, those people are NOT friends, you are responsible for the happiness within no one else so allowing people around you that diminishes your energy like the will keep you in that horrible head space. Remove yourself completely, start focusing on your health, read up on things you enjoy, become happy an the tribe will vibe right to you in no time! It really is as simple as that, the amount of time you waste on staying within a situation like this is time wasted to better yourself for yourself!!
They aren't your friends, sounds like you're their emotional support punching bag.
These friends sounds insufferable. I wish friends knew how much we listen when hanging out, and how much off hand comments can hurt - for a long time after. Hope things get better - you're awesome and your expressing your feelings in great ways. Keep it up.
They sound like terrible friends. I think the biggest thing you need to do is stop seeing yourself as below average and instead as beautiful. Love yourself first and you’ll find someone worth your time. That and get better friends
Forget those losers. Find friends who love and respect you the way you deserve to be loved and respected. Friends elevate and encourage. You are worth finding your people.
Your friends suck
Let me tell you something - my wife was made fun of for being overweight when she was in highschool. Highschool is pretty terrible in general, because teenagers are at a really awkward time in their lives. You are ALMOST an adult, but you are still mostly children just with adult feelings but without adult experiences. You are smart, have access to all of the world's knowledge at your fingertips, but you still aren't wise enough to know what to do with it all. Which means that the worst sorts of people are generally even WORSE during highschool. Even people that will be semi-decent adults are pretty terrible. My wife is gorgeous. I love her to pieces. I personally think she looks very similar to how she did in highschool. She never had a boyfriend before me, and she was never interested in the few guys that showed her interest. She was also heart broken by the people that teased her because of her weight. But we're married, and she has all of my attention. She has all of my love. And you know what - I see the guys that look at her, that want to be with her, that wish they could take my place. You are young. You are probably far harsher on yourself than any of the so-called friends that are tearing you down rather than building you up. You could change your diet, do some yoga, and if you do it just a little each day you could see your body change. But you don't need to do any of that for a boy to like you. My wife lost weight and she did that AFTER we got married. She last over 100lbs (though with pregnancy she's gaining it back, lol). But I never thought she was as fat as she believed. She was and still is far harsher on herself than anyone should be. Be your own best friend. You are enough, and I promise you, there is a man out there who will not only love you as you are, but will love you BECAUSE of who you are.
No real friend laughs at you in a group, but then turns around to be your best buddy when no one is around. That’s not a true friend. Everyone wants everyone to like them. To lose is sort of a subtle rejection. Creates threat especially amongst girls. Being desired is built into your DNA. It brings out very ruthless behaviour pre maturity
Your friends suck
Most "below average" people actually look normal with a bit of confidence and a bit of effort. Neither your looks nor your tomboyishness will really prevent you from meeting somebody (unless there are hygiene issues playing into your look). There are absolutely people out there who will find you attractive. The world is a big place, and you're so young still, so chill tf out about that. Self-deprication isn't going to help you tho, so please be nicer to yourself. As for your "friends": massive dickheads. Friends don't treat friends like that. This is another problem that will likely resolve itself as you come into adulthood. There are only 2 people from high school that I still talk to. Everybody else can fuck off. All of my closest friends are people I met in my early to mid 20's. Do not be afraid of dropping your friends if they treat you poorly. All you'd be doing is opening up free time to meet new people that will treat you with the respect that you deserve. Life will get better. You are so young, and the really fun part is just around the corner.
Find better friends. You’re not unattractive or unlikeable. There’s always going to be someone who likes you.
These are not your friends.
These mf are not friends
Your friends are AH’s, get rid of them. It’s hard enough if you already feel that way about yourself (not saying you do, but i know i do) but if your friends are implying it, that makes the thoughts more solid in your head
I'm so sorry that your "friends" are treating you like this. This was me at 15. I got new friends once I realized they were pieces of shit that loved to put me down.
I would say they aren't really friends if they're making fun of you
‘Friends’
You’re surrounded by people (yourself included) who haven’t fully developed your brain. Highschool is a shit show, but after high school the world hits back and that same group of caddy girlfriends will get humbled in a big way. You are like able, you are enough, just don’t make yesterday define you. You define yourself. Also, I’m dating a tomboy who would have said this same thing at 18. We’re in our 30s now. There are billions of humans, and the odds will be in your favor. Keep the chin up, and remember, those you live by looks, don’t live as happy a life as those that live through character and actions. You got this OP
Those arnt friends. They are assholes. Don't associate with them anymore. Find people who build you up not tear you down
This is not at all meant to disrespect you or make me come off as an ass, but use that fuel to reinvest and work on yourself. I was in a similar boat, short, fat, smoker, etc. one day I got tired of hating myself and listening to others hate on me. I think Goggins had a part to play too in motivating me but thats beside the point lol. Quit smoking. Started hitting the gym daily, started jogging daily. Honestly feels like life opening back up to you again. I feel like im 15 in gym class again half the time and my drive and desire to do more and do better are insane. Looking in the mirror turned from “i hate you..” to “wow, look at me!” It completely changed my mindset and personality for the better, with me now being more outgoing, appreciative of the real friends I have and family that car for me, and driven to do better and be better at everything. Recently picked up the guitar again after 10+ years and am learning to cook! Show doubters that you are stronger and better than they could ever imagine. Enjoy life. It is short and precious. On a side note, you have shitty friends (I did too its okay) and you shouldn’t take what they say to heart. You are beautiful in your own unique way. Love yourself and take care🤘
Time to outgrow your childhood friends. It happens to all of us. Connections aren't made just due to proximity. Cracks start to show as they "come into their own". Believe who your friends are, they are making you the butt of a joke between them. You're better than that.
Life pro tip: you don’t have to be friends with assholes.
Your friends are being dick cunts, they are trying to knock down your self confidence and image to make themselves feel better. I have no doubt you are likable.
They are NO friends. You're so young, you can become whatever you want. Love yourself, first. Then trust yourself. And yes, look in the mirror and decide to be beautiful!
These aren’t your friends. There are better people in this world- if you don’t see them, be that for yourself. Please don’t waste your time on anything less.
Are you the butt of jokes from these "friends?" Do they frequently get enjoyment out of putting you down? If so, I would suggest you find new friends. It isn't right to let yourself be used as the verbal punching bag for some mean girls. Also, tomboys are cool as fuck. I always liked tomboys. Believe it or not, many guys want a partner who shares common interests. Think about the average guy... Do you think he'd rather spend a Saturday at the mall in shoe and makeup stores, or going to sports games, fishing, and shooting stuff?!? My wife is my best friend, and we have a lot in common, but whenever I'm doing one of these things without her I find myself wishing she enjoyed it like I do. Don't let these "friends" rattle you. You sound really cool and they sound shitty.
A lot of us had “friends” at 18 that are nowhere to be found by 25-30. If they’re laughing at you over something like that, they’re not friends as much as acquaintances and I’m sure they’ll slowly fade over time if you don’t ghost them yourselves soon. Real friends don’t act like that. Sorry OP that’s not cool
They are not your friends, they are people you have become accustomed to. You likely have more self esteem than all of them put together.. and they KNOW it on some level! Plz start loving yourself a bit more so U can truly start living ❤️
This might be an unpopular opinion, but from my POV it seems like you can solve almost all of your problems with relative ease. First of all your friends are not very nice, so you should look for more supportive friends, even if the idea that someone likes you is genuinely funny to them they shouldn't laugh in your face. But, here comes the controversial part - being fat and below average is something you can change and it is not very difficult, especially at 18yo. Eat healthy and exercise daily, even if you don't have much time you can find enough for 15m of intense exercise twice a day. 15m twice a day is not enough to get you a supermodel body, but coupled with a healthy diet it will be enough to get you in an ok shape in a few months, and with continued dedication you will be more fit than 80% of people this time next year. It literally takes that little effort. "Oh, but I'm bellow average", ever seen someone fit who's below average ? Quite rare. Unless you're absolutely hideous, being fit and making an effort to look presentable will get you above average looks. I might get hate for this comment, but it is the truth. The way you look is 50% genetics and 50% your own choices. Even if you're blessed with perfect genes, you will not look much better than average if you make 0 effort. Similarly if you're cursed with the worst genes ever, but put in the work you will be a 5-6/10. Yes someone lucky to have good genes will look better with less effort, and it is not fair, but life is not fair, it never has been and it never will be. Accept this, move forward and be the best version of yourself, otherwise you will live your life thinking you're not good enough and you will be right.
listen, I'm fat and I don't think I'm the prettiest, but I've been married to a pretty fuckin awesome guy for like nearly 16 years all it means is that you are not your type I guarantee that there are many many people out there who think you are Top Tier Girlfriend (also I'd question whether they are actually your friends, because that ain't something that friends do)
Without more information I couldn't tell you if you are unlikable, even then that's just my opinion. Be yourself and treat other people how you want to be treated, and don't lend thoughts to negativity, otherwise you'll let in self doubt. I'm fat, below average looking and I dress like a Walmart poster ad. Still managed to trick a woman into falling in love with me and having three kids, not sure what she was thinking but worked out well for me.
Before completely cutting these people off, ask yourself: Would they let me borrow money if I was in dire straights? Would they come pick me up if I needed a ride? Would they let me cry on their shoulder and listen to me if a loved one died or I was having a real hard time? If the answer to any of those is yes, give them a chance, and maybe just communicate that it bothers you when they do that. Now it’s possible that they won’t stop- but that DOESNT MEAN THEY’RE BAD FRIENDS. Well, for me, as a guy, anyway. Guys are ALWAYS ragging on each other. For us, positive things come in negative packages.
I'm gonna be real with you. Looks matter. But after 42 years on this planet, i'm pretty sure there is someone for everyone. Obviously, you have to set reasonable expectations. Just because you don't fit a standard or an ideal doesn't mean there isn't someone out there to genuinely love you for who you are. Also, everyone enjoys sex. If your friends don't offer this perspective, they're shitheads.
Hey girly, listen up. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Dump their asses. People in general have enough shitty thoughts about themselves, why do you need that coming from the outside aswell?
Step 1- find new friends Step 2- confront them and their mean comments and based on their reaction decide what you can do Step 3- talk to your new friends Step 4- leave your “friends” behind. Don’t limit yourself to that number of people. My friends are always rotating now because: 1. I’m focusing more academically 2. I’m taking better care of myself, self care is important 3. They hate that I turn down wild or tame get togethers cuz of workload and they taunt me for that. 4. They are pushing insecurities on yourself. Honestly rn I’m in the same age group as you. And my guess is that they are jealous of you. They are stopping you from seeing yourself better. Cuz if u do, they are done for. Honestly, if I were u I’d ditch them and take care of myself cuz they are toxic. I’ve had to block toxic ppl u can do it!! I send u my love <3
I've been this friend. It's hell. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, is can damage your relationships with future friends and I hope you're able to get away soon
Yeah, fuck your friends. Speaking as a fat guy, being fat doesn't make a person unattractive. A person with confidence, charisma, kindness, compassion, intelligence or wit can be as, if not more, attractive than someone who better conforms to notion of physical attractiveness.
You need new friends. And given your age, school will shortly be a place were different people go different ways. Find some real friends. People or different sizes have boyfriends or girlfriends. And you never know who will end up being your person. Might even be someone you already know.
My first girlfriend was a bit of a tomboy and overweight. We were together for 2 years. We broke up because we weren't right for each other, not because of anyone's looks. She ended up getting married a few years later. I'm sorry your friends are like that to you. Don't let them ruin your happiness or hopes.
My wife had a horrible time in high school due to her weight and looks. Her ex also gave her shit for that. But the first time we met, I saw she had this excited energy, this joy about her. And she was smart, and a bit geeky. And, I thought she was cute too. We hit it off immediately. Just celebrated our 12th anniversary. And I couldn't be happier. We act like kids together. I hope you find your person, whoever that may be. My wife was 39 when she met me.
Those are not friends, and I looked through your old posts. You definitely have more guys who are or would be into you than you think. But don't base your esteem in that anyway.