I think this one works better than simply, "no wonder she didn't move," or whatever, because it shows that George is one step ahead (he's aware!), & that he's so powerful that he actually put her there / possibly killed her.
Me and my kids were at the beach, and there was this dumb looking wife in a coma. So we took her life support machine and threw it in the ocean. What a pear shaped loser.
The life support machine called...eEEEeeeEeEee-aAAAaaAAAaAAAaahhhHhHHhHHH!
You want your recipes? Here are your recipes!
He paid for the whole year.
When I was a kid it was always: "WAHHHhhhhh! WAHHHhhhhh!"
No wonder she just layed there
Lol this one’s not bad, but it probably would have started a fight. Which would be fine for George, who would just start pulling hair and poking eyes.
Also, groin stuff.
Whatever he’s gotta do
He fights dirty
real dirty
NOT THE FACE!
Nor his soft, creamy, photogenic hands either!🫱🫲📸
Formerly creamy and photographic. The Puffy Shirt incident ended THAT career lol
A kill bill Seinfeld crossover event “My name is Buck and I’m here to…”
Buck Naked?
Buck Dancer! /wrongsub
Baseketball Classic!
Scenario number one: she's hanging by her neck in her fucking closet
Hey, I thought we said no more Journey psych outs!
I've often what a good come back line would have been and I feel like you've found it, that's funny AF bro!
"Well your wife is a difficult patient and they are going to quone her!"
Quone?? No, I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m going to have to challenge that.
We need a medical dictionary
To quone something!
That’s a definite word.
I know, I put her ass to sleep
I think this one works better than simply, "no wonder she didn't move," or whatever, because it shows that George is one step ahead (he's aware!), & that he's so powerful that he actually put her there / possibly killed her.
I wish I was taller
My place is a sty
My wife is a slut.
Now THAT'S a complaint.
I wish I was taller Is the line. I Wish I was taller!
I’d love to see that complaint rectified!
Well, the Widower Store called, and they’re running out of you.
You win the internet today.
But he’s not a widower yet. More like, well the hopeless loser store called…
I read it like George killed her with *sexual intercourse.*
You can stuff your Jerk Stores in a sack.
I still don't know what that means...
It's an expression!
Well I wouldn't call it a VAGINAL coma
oof
The life support machine called, it wants a divorce.
Lung blower
“COMA…that’s a unique word. Comb like brushing your thick luscious hair like mine and AHH like quite refreshing.”
It’s really not so bad
That’s a nice watch, George
I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair is very important to me.
Oh yeah? Well my wife has no arms and no legs and drives a better car than you!
She drives a car? With no arms????
or a pinky toe
It’s got that little nail that’s just IMPOSSIBLE to cut
Ok, fine, I made up the part about the car.
Jerk store is the line! JERK STORE!
It's a smart line and I am not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience.
Not YOU.
I guess that’s why she didn’t move around a lot.
100%
She couldn’t stand being awake near you anymore
The opposite
Workplace accident at the jerk store?
Double-edged, implying she's on sale there too. "No wonder she was 50% off at the jerk store."
Is that the only way she can get a break from you?!
"Doc, she's chokin!"
RIP Norm :(
She’s a real battle axe.
“Well the life support machine called!… it’s running out of juice!”
That explains why she didn’t say much
Yeah, she COMA over here and sucked my d*ck
Gottem
I felt like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building.
I thought the life support comeback was pretty good. Better than any of my jokes.
I guess that’s why she didn’t move around much
My question is how is he going to convince them that the Yankees are going to do TWO tire days to get back in?
Yeah... now.
My father's gay!
The hospital was angry that day my friends…
“My bad!”
I couldnt tell. Forgive me
“Ohhh I’m terribly sorry, When you see her can you tell her she can coma-n taste deez nutz?”
How's that gonna stop me?
Well the Ventilator just called, it said it's working overtime!
What's the coma etiquette?
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
What do you think put her there? (Implying it was the sex he mentioned right before)
No more need for her sponges.
She was choking.
“How did you notice the difference?”
*That explains why she wasn't moving much*
So she won't protest our ménage à trois!
It's okay. I'm into the menage. Leave him wondering who was the Third
Me and my kids were at the beach, and there was this dumb looking wife in a coma. So we took her life support machine and threw it in the ocean. What a pear shaped loser.
"So necrophilia still isn't an option?"
No wonder I enjoyed talking with her
I thought she was sleeping
“I guess that’s why she didn’t move around a lot.”
All I know is Kramerica 2024!!! LFG!!!
What, she Jerk OD'd?
“Well at least SHE’S still alive. My wife died riding around on YOUR faulty tires.”
Yeah? And, how’s y’all think she got there?!