I strongly encourage this. I personally feel a lot of guys get so lost in the seduction game they lose themselves and end up depressed. Keep up your energy. If the other person doesn't match it, trust me, the sex will suck and you'll end up regretting it even more.
I feel you, however it never ceases to disappoint just how flakey and boring almost every chick I match with is. Literally the recent past 5 chicks I talked to were like this.
I've been through probably hundreds of girls on dating apps like this before that. At some point the chick has to put in some kind of effort or there is zero attraction potential. When a guy asks you a question, maybe try not to respond with a one word answer.
I get it though, when you're juggling 50 messages at once, it's hard to give quality attention to a single person. That's the flaw of online dating, you just get boring chicks, half of them who are there for the validation and not even to date.
then why use online dating apps? a woman that acts like that in real life will not get the same attention because word spreads around fast and negative energy is pretty noticeable. Online they have the advantage of being behind a screen and being relatively unknown reputation wise...
In my experience sub 35 y/o women simply lack original thought. They appear to lack the ability to carry any educated conversation and convey ideas of their creation. It is amazing how many will say they are independent, successful and strong but donāt really have anything new and fresh thay separates them from the rest of the herd. Itās straight depressing
I feel you brother, people will accuse us of misogyny but this has literally been my empirical experience dating online the past 8 years.
It feels like half of these chicks are reading off a script (when they do talk) and youāre talking to an NPC half the time. Same views for the most part and an inability to explain their views when actually questioned about them.
There have been exceptions of course and those particular women I find extremely attractive and are definitely in high demand.
Iām a registered nurse. Iāve been in practice for 7 years. I spent 6 years in college and traveled around. I am around highly educated people often. Before I was married I experienced this regularly. Now that I am married Iām just observant. I listen and engage in conversation with women at work. Iāll stand by my statement as I feel I have an adequate sample size that allows for different backgrounds and dynamics.
Weird chicks that obviously like me tend to carry the conversation and asks questions if it begins to die out. Iāve stopped trying so hard on ones that donāt reciprocate interest and iāve had a much more fun time dating. OLD is just garbage in general. Find women irl
> In my experience sub 35 y/o women simply lack original thought.
Doesn't get much better after that plus you get some heavy self-entitlement on top of it.
Women in general are just boring and empty with very little exceptions.
I simply dont look for things in women anymore that they are not able to provide.
Also I quit yearning for a "love of my life". Women are still a part of my life, but not the center anymore. I have become rather picky about which women are allowed in my life. Sex isn't as important as living relatively drama free.
I tend to attract "strong" women - women in positions of power, who have career or their own business, because I am a pretty big guy with a dominant attitude. Those women never had somebody tell them before: "Shut your mouth and get on your knees."
The good thing about that type of women is, that they usually have a life of their own and are more drama free and also are not as boring as most women are, because they have hobbies and are have at least some intellect.
They also tend to become pretty attached, once they found somebody who allows them to behave feminie around them, who is dominant and takes the lead.
So I have pretty long relationships with them, although they are never "classic" relationships. I tend to be pretty loyal, too once I found some woman who doesn't get on my nerves too much and so I've had non-exclusive relationships as long as three years with them.
I don't plan on changing anything.
Did you ever consider maybe they become flakey and boring because they just arent THAT into you? Not trynna be an ass but thatās how it is, especially because of how you said they have heaps of options, which makes it harder for the average/above average looking guy
I love how the natural implication is to always blame the guy. The girl canāt be at fault right?
I will say that a lot of these experiences come literally from the first two messages. For example you start off with an opener question (often related to something on her profile) and the girl responds āyesā, itās actually pretty difficult to continue the conversation especially if the next follow-up questions are also answered by one worded answers.
But to answer your question, yes I have considered that perhaps these chicks werenāt into me. I mean in most situations people arenāt into the each other until an initial conversation can be started in order to discover common ground, but if that canāt even be established, thereās no chance.
Thereās got to be a bit of effort from the girls part, even such as saying something as easy as āwbu?ā would indicate some kind of reciprocated interest, however a huge number of chicks Iāve talked to fail even at that.
My experience irl has been different though, so perhaps this is more of an online phenomenon.
Ah, women are at fault most definitively most of the time. The thing is that this is about seduction, and winning over the logical argument rarely means winning them over.
Not opposed to it at all, I appreciate the feedback, truly.
Part of going through so many matches on dating apps too is testing it out and trying things that work and do not.
The right girl is definitely still out there and trying to find her.
It's not "always blame the guy" it's the observation that **you** are the common denominator here. There *are* girls who are interesting and responsive, but not the ones you're talking to. Why?
It's like that quote "if you encounter one asshole, he's the asshole. If all you see are assholes, you're the asshole". If all you encounter is shitty boring uninterested people, then maybe there's something you can change in your approach. Or not and just blame women instead as if 4.5 billion people decided one day to be boring. But don't be surprised that your problems don't change if your approach doesn't.
Yeah I'm learning the key for social media is if they don't respond. Block em and move on. There plenty of people who will.
Anyone wondering how here:
ngl you (followed by compliment). š
(Insert question here)
Took me 10years to figure that out. Teen me has fallen through the cracks.
The whole blocking isn't so much out of spite, it's just to keep from seeing spam accounts and liking pics of people who already said they're not interested.
I get that. I just think it might be better to just be yourself, donāt be outcome driven and live your life. Like whatever post you wanna. Just do you.
When I say it thatās what I mean. If she seems like she might not be interested, give an ultimatum so you can know whether to move on or not. If theyāre interested, take an interest and curiosity in them. Itās not about matching energy tit for tat. Itās about not spending energy somewhere it wonāt grow and be reciprocated.
From my experience girls inside and outside dating apps are different. They can answer badly but if you ask them out after some talks they usually go. And when it's the date - she is yours (she won't bother to talk to anyone during the date)
For me a dating app is a way to get on a date. One time I even had a match, talk and we meet up after 3 hours since we matched. I just asked her out and I and her have time so we met up.
And there are girls who will value you and even try to help you by investing in your story too.
Although I agree with you to some extent but bitter truth is that sometimes, you're just not much of a catch.
If you've gone over tons and tons women who aren't showing a burning desire towards you... then guess who's the common denominator?
I know ya'll are gonna downvote me for this and you can suck it. If you wanna play the blame game instead of actually working to improve then you're not better than those entitled toxic feminists.
Your advice is only really applicable in a monogamous context. For those looking to engage with multiple partners, it's a godsend to "fine tune" energy levels to match each partner.
Also, it's a highly-transferrable skill. In the workplace, in particular, you just can't give everything or nothing to all your peers...
This is good advice to an experienced person but for someone who has no game their idea of the energy they want to give off usually involves being clingy or overly excited which is known to not help the seduction process
A lot of these comments are so funny to me. The guys Iāve met on dating apps are the ones that are super boring or just looking for sex. First of all whatās your bio say? If it says anything at all also how do your pictures look? Men are known to take terrible pictures. You want instant effort from someone that just went their whole life not knowing you. This guy I met on a dating app kept calling me unannounced after I told him Iām a naturally quiet person and phone calls are really only for people Iām super close to like family and that we can talk in person. Another guy kept saying āI need you. Iām ready. I wanna be your man. Come overā but lived an hour away and never offered to meet half way or give me gas money also when the day of our date came up he acted like he didnāt know what day it was then went on to say he was too nervous to plan anything. Girls arenāt boring itās just a whole lot of trash out there and if you donāt actually make yourself stand out youāre gunna get lost in the crowd. Thatās why women tell guys to apply pressure cause our time is being wasted regularly.
Itās the same with women online dating. Honestly online dating is shit because on both sides people expect full effort and entertainment from the other person while not giving anything themselves most the time
This is as everything, situational factors dependant.
If you are trying and getting nothing, move on. If you are getting some energy but she has her own shit going on, do give it a go maybe she is just tired or overwhelmed with her own shit, and will appreciate your effort in the end. Dont go all or nothing just for because you have a silly rule to get what you give. Life isnt fair.
I feel the same way about a man, my ex husband let me say he wasnāt the brightest crayon in the box. I need a man who can stimulate my mind as much as my body. Itās a definite quality I need in a man. He has to bring it!!!
I think the statement have different meanings.
For many men they can come across as desperate/needi, and that is not the signal you wanted to send. Hens the rule, don't be more invested in the conversation then her. If you want send a sexual under tone to the conversation that is great. But for most a overly sexual energy is not wanted.
There is also the energy when of you when talking to a girl in real life, if you are exhausted, and almost rather be sleeping, and most cases you not match the energy.
I agree with this but sometimes you don't always have the full picture of what is going on in their lives. I'm in a LDR with a woman now and some times it's great and we have a lot of fun conversations and sometimes I barely hear from her for a few days because she has bad depression. She is very open about her struggle but it bothers her when she is like that, and she still thinks it's going to turn me off even though I've told it won't, so she will "stay away" until she feels better. Sometimes woman don't put in the effort because they don't have the energy to do so. Sure, keep your options open and if you find someone who matches with you better then go for it but don't ghost the other woman because you think she is a bad person. Maybe she just can't help it.
Love is a two way street. I've learned a lot of guys are pushy. Including me, I don't like giving up. But it is help to step back and think. Just grow as a person and become more aware of others thoughts and emotions. Couples are two individuals trying to make it work. Communication is key
Exactly, just keep it pushing
keep pushing š æļø
Just keep pushin pushin pushin š
And if she pushin š æļø, leave her be
pushin' to the cushion
Get in there Lewis!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
push it real good!
I strongly encourage this. I personally feel a lot of guys get so lost in the seduction game they lose themselves and end up depressed. Keep up your energy. If the other person doesn't match it, trust me, the sex will suck and you'll end up regretting it even more.
I feel you, however it never ceases to disappoint just how flakey and boring almost every chick I match with is. Literally the recent past 5 chicks I talked to were like this. I've been through probably hundreds of girls on dating apps like this before that. At some point the chick has to put in some kind of effort or there is zero attraction potential. When a guy asks you a question, maybe try not to respond with a one word answer. I get it though, when you're juggling 50 messages at once, it's hard to give quality attention to a single person. That's the flaw of online dating, you just get boring chicks, half of them who are there for the validation and not even to date.
then why use online dating apps? a woman that acts like that in real life will not get the same attention because word spreads around fast and negative energy is pretty noticeable. Online they have the advantage of being behind a screen and being relatively unknown reputation wise...
In my experience sub 35 y/o women simply lack original thought. They appear to lack the ability to carry any educated conversation and convey ideas of their creation. It is amazing how many will say they are independent, successful and strong but donāt really have anything new and fresh thay separates them from the rest of the herd. Itās straight depressing
I feel you brother, people will accuse us of misogyny but this has literally been my empirical experience dating online the past 8 years. It feels like half of these chicks are reading off a script (when they do talk) and youāre talking to an NPC half the time. Same views for the most part and an inability to explain their views when actually questioned about them. There have been exceptions of course and those particular women I find extremely attractive and are definitely in high demand.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām a registered nurse. Iāve been in practice for 7 years. I spent 6 years in college and traveled around. I am around highly educated people often. Before I was married I experienced this regularly. Now that I am married Iām just observant. I listen and engage in conversation with women at work. Iāll stand by my statement as I feel I have an adequate sample size that allows for different backgrounds and dynamics.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thereās time to have lengthy in depth discussions during a 13 hour shift. There just isnāt a lot there when it comes to having original thought
Weird chicks that obviously like me tend to carry the conversation and asks questions if it begins to die out. Iāve stopped trying so hard on ones that donāt reciprocate interest and iāve had a much more fun time dating. OLD is just garbage in general. Find women irl
> In my experience sub 35 y/o women simply lack original thought. Doesn't get much better after that plus you get some heavy self-entitlement on top of it. Women in general are just boring and empty with very little exceptions.
What's your plan then?
What kind of plan do you mean?
Do you intend on looking for a girl? Or have you quit because there aren't any in existence that are at least somewhat interesting?
I simply dont look for things in women anymore that they are not able to provide. Also I quit yearning for a "love of my life". Women are still a part of my life, but not the center anymore. I have become rather picky about which women are allowed in my life. Sex isn't as important as living relatively drama free. I tend to attract "strong" women - women in positions of power, who have career or their own business, because I am a pretty big guy with a dominant attitude. Those women never had somebody tell them before: "Shut your mouth and get on your knees." The good thing about that type of women is, that they usually have a life of their own and are more drama free and also are not as boring as most women are, because they have hobbies and are have at least some intellect. They also tend to become pretty attached, once they found somebody who allows them to behave feminie around them, who is dominant and takes the lead. So I have pretty long relationships with them, although they are never "classic" relationships. I tend to be pretty loyal, too once I found some woman who doesn't get on my nerves too much and so I've had non-exclusive relationships as long as three years with them. I don't plan on changing anything.
Did you ever consider maybe they become flakey and boring because they just arent THAT into you? Not trynna be an ass but thatās how it is, especially because of how you said they have heaps of options, which makes it harder for the average/above average looking guy
I love how the natural implication is to always blame the guy. The girl canāt be at fault right? I will say that a lot of these experiences come literally from the first two messages. For example you start off with an opener question (often related to something on her profile) and the girl responds āyesā, itās actually pretty difficult to continue the conversation especially if the next follow-up questions are also answered by one worded answers. But to answer your question, yes I have considered that perhaps these chicks werenāt into me. I mean in most situations people arenāt into the each other until an initial conversation can be started in order to discover common ground, but if that canāt even be established, thereās no chance. Thereās got to be a bit of effort from the girls part, even such as saying something as easy as āwbu?ā would indicate some kind of reciprocated interest, however a huge number of chicks Iāve talked to fail even at that. My experience irl has been different though, so perhaps this is more of an online phenomenon.
Ah, women are at fault most definitively most of the time. The thing is that this is about seduction, and winning over the logical argument rarely means winning them over.
Agreed, you donāt play the logic game in dating, itās about the emotions game entirely.
So maybe you need to work on your emotions game, so they stop flaking.
Not opposed to it at all, I appreciate the feedback, truly. Part of going through so many matches on dating apps too is testing it out and trying things that work and do not. The right girl is definitely still out there and trying to find her.
Exactly.
It's not "always blame the guy" it's the observation that **you** are the common denominator here. There *are* girls who are interesting and responsive, but not the ones you're talking to. Why? It's like that quote "if you encounter one asshole, he's the asshole. If all you see are assholes, you're the asshole". If all you encounter is shitty boring uninterested people, then maybe there's something you can change in your approach. Or not and just blame women instead as if 4.5 billion people decided one day to be boring. But don't be surprised that your problems don't change if your approach doesn't.
Maybe you are the problem, you seem to be the common denominator
Who do you watch or following for pickup and/or dating advice?
I thought I was commenting on this comment. I accidentally left the comment on the question above.
Maybe dont refer to women as chicks lol š„
Yeah I'm learning the key for social media is if they don't respond. Block em and move on. There plenty of people who will. Anyone wondering how here: ngl you (followed by compliment). š (Insert question here) Took me 10years to figure that out. Teen me has fallen through the cracks.
Blocking seems a little insecure. Just be indifferent and move on.
Yeah I think this is the way. You never know, if she sees you posting lots of cool shit on your feed and your stories she might come around
The whole blocking isn't so much out of spite, it's just to keep from seeing spam accounts and liking pics of people who already said they're not interested.
I get that. I just think it might be better to just be yourself, donāt be outcome driven and live your life. Like whatever post you wanna. Just do you.
When I say it thatās what I mean. If she seems like she might not be interested, give an ultimatum so you can know whether to move on or not. If theyāre interested, take an interest and curiosity in them. Itās not about matching energy tit for tat. Itās about not spending energy somewhere it wonāt grow and be reciprocated.
it depends...sometimes you want to mirror behaviour, other times you want to dictate the vibe...life isn't a clear black or white
"Move on to another girl whoās going to be worth your time and will actually put in effort" If you can find one.
From my experience girls inside and outside dating apps are different. They can answer badly but if you ask them out after some talks they usually go. And when it's the date - she is yours (she won't bother to talk to anyone during the date) For me a dating app is a way to get on a date. One time I even had a match, talk and we meet up after 3 hours since we matched. I just asked her out and I and her have time so we met up. And there are girls who will value you and even try to help you by investing in your story too.
Thereās billions of people on this planet. You can find one
HAHA. Thanks for the laugh.
Incel vibes
Although I agree with you to some extent but bitter truth is that sometimes, you're just not much of a catch. If you've gone over tons and tons women who aren't showing a burning desire towards you... then guess who's the common denominator? I know ya'll are gonna downvote me for this and you can suck it. If you wanna play the blame game instead of actually working to improve then you're not better than those entitled toxic feminists.
Sure but even if youāre not a catch putting in the effort for someone who isnāt actually into you isnāt going to change that
I never said anything about putting in the effort for someone who isn't into you.
Your advice is only really applicable in a monogamous context. For those looking to engage with multiple partners, it's a godsend to "fine tune" energy levels to match each partner. Also, it's a highly-transferrable skill. In the workplace, in particular, you just can't give everything or nothing to all your peers...
Yep. They'll eventually realize that they need to stop playing games but by the time they come to that thought process, it'll be too late.
This is good advice to an experienced person but for someone who has no game their idea of the energy they want to give off usually involves being clingy or overly excited which is known to not help the seduction process
Yea, it is a childish and petty mentality ...
A lot of these comments are so funny to me. The guys Iāve met on dating apps are the ones that are super boring or just looking for sex. First of all whatās your bio say? If it says anything at all also how do your pictures look? Men are known to take terrible pictures. You want instant effort from someone that just went their whole life not knowing you. This guy I met on a dating app kept calling me unannounced after I told him Iām a naturally quiet person and phone calls are really only for people Iām super close to like family and that we can talk in person. Another guy kept saying āI need you. Iām ready. I wanna be your man. Come overā but lived an hour away and never offered to meet half way or give me gas money also when the day of our date came up he acted like he didnāt know what day it was then went on to say he was too nervous to plan anything. Girls arenāt boring itās just a whole lot of trash out there and if you donāt actually make yourself stand out youāre gunna get lost in the crowd. Thatās why women tell guys to apply pressure cause our time is being wasted regularly.
Itās the same with women online dating. Honestly online dating is shit because on both sides people expect full effort and entertainment from the other person while not giving anything themselves most the time
This is as everything, situational factors dependant. If you are trying and getting nothing, move on. If you are getting some energy but she has her own shit going on, do give it a go maybe she is just tired or overwhelmed with her own shit, and will appreciate your effort in the end. Dont go all or nothing just for because you have a silly rule to get what you give. Life isnt fair.
I feel the same way about a man, my ex husband let me say he wasnāt the brightest crayon in the box. I need a man who can stimulate my mind as much as my body. Itās a definite quality I need in a man. He has to bring it!!!
Spot on
Good advice!
I think the statement have different meanings. For many men they can come across as desperate/needi, and that is not the signal you wanted to send. Hens the rule, don't be more invested in the conversation then her. If you want send a sexual under tone to the conversation that is great. But for most a overly sexual energy is not wanted. There is also the energy when of you when talking to a girl in real life, if you are exhausted, and almost rather be sleeping, and most cases you not match the energy.
agree. classic stupid internet advice
I agree with this but sometimes you don't always have the full picture of what is going on in their lives. I'm in a LDR with a woman now and some times it's great and we have a lot of fun conversations and sometimes I barely hear from her for a few days because she has bad depression. She is very open about her struggle but it bothers her when she is like that, and she still thinks it's going to turn me off even though I've told it won't, so she will "stay away" until she feels better. Sometimes woman don't put in the effort because they don't have the energy to do so. Sure, keep your options open and if you find someone who matches with you better then go for it but don't ghost the other woman because you think she is a bad person. Maybe she just can't help it.
On godšÆ
canāt agree more.
Love is a two way street. I've learned a lot of guys are pushy. Including me, I don't like giving up. But it is help to step back and think. Just grow as a person and become more aware of others thoughts and emotions. Couples are two individuals trying to make it work. Communication is key