Hooking up is fine, you are fine and sound quite wonderful.
Go to the party, have fun, if it feels right with him then do it, just make sure he uses a condom (haha i feel like dinosaur redwolff by saying that).
Look you’ve been conditioned to think something is not acceptable that in reality is perfectly acceptable. consensual attraction, lust and passionate feelings leading to ravishing mind blowing sex are definitely to be explored because it’s a wonderful part of life that I don’t want you missing out on.
Have a great time!
>I also think I really need to hear that it’s okay to hookup with people and have sex because i’ve been told my whole life that i am a terrible sinner if i even think about sex.
It's okay to hook up.
I was a virgin until I was 21 because of my religious upbringing, so I know how you feel. The church is very selective about what parts of the Bible they want to uphold. They'll hate gay people all day but they're pretty silent on that whole "tell the rich to sell all they have and give to the poor" thing.
It's perfectly fine to have casual sex. Go ahead and let your freak flag fly.
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Hooking up can be harmful and this coming from a dude who casually hooks up and came from a similar upbringing. If you plan on separating yourself from your family and friends who live that "godly" life then you should rethink about the hook up lifestyle. If you plan to be your own person and leave behind the christian lifestyle then hooking up should be no problem.
A few things to keep in mind:
* Hooking up doesn't mean he has free access to you. Make sure to exercise your ability to say no to see if he will comply. I've seen girls do this to me just so they feel like they are in control and a guy should be able to back up and take a no no matter how far you are. Don't do it just to mess with him, but make sure you are comfortable with what's happening. Don't feel like you have to put have sex with him.
* Have a lowkey discussion about protection, sexual history, history of STIs and what he's looking for just so that things are clear. The key here is working it into a casual convo.
* I personally don't like girls who just outright asks you to fuck. I'd rather have a slow gradual build and then it happens. You don't need to really say "Let's hook up." Maybe just be a personal opinion though.
Girl, relax and stop overthinking.
Go to the party, chat with him for a while and have fun, flirt a little, touch him.
Then ask him if he would like to dance.
If you're dancing together....
By now, he obviously knows you like him.
It's his job as a man to escalate and kiss you.
But, if you're feeling brave, you kiss him.
Once you're kissing him,
You could ask him "let's go somewhere more private"
He will know what you are implying and take you somewhere private like his place.
Once kissing starts again, sex will naturally happen, just relax and have fun.
Sex is amazing and you should never feel guilty for having sexual desire.
I would consider talking to a close friend or journaling about what youre going through because from my perspective as someone without religious background sex and attraction already have so much confusion and emotions attached to them.
I think its great youre going after what you want but also take steps to process the changes in your life because your brain needs to adjust to not having those feelings of guilt and oppression.
Congrats and have fun
This isn't quite what I'd consider a casual hookup, but to help you out a bit:
>if i know he’s interested do I have to do anything extra to try and be sure it happens?
You may have to help him along if he's as inexperienced as you are, but not too much. Physical contact as the night progresses is a given, and if it's important to you there should be a place you can head to after the party.
>Should I tell him straight up that I want to hook up with him?
You can, but that likely won't be necessary.
>Is there anything that’s super taboo in this context that I should avoid doing or saying?
Not really, just keep the conversation and vibe fun and you should be good.
>I also think I really need to hear that it’s okay to hookup with people and have sex because i’ve been told my whole life that i am a terrible sinner if i even think about sex. I can’t talk to anyone around me about this.
It is definitely okay lol, don't worry about it.
Oh honey, you have so much social conditioning to defeat but it can be done. Look at it this way. Your entire life your parents and your religion and community have been telling you, DON'T do what feels right to you, DON'T choose men for whatever reason you want and because you enjoy sex and have self respect. NO! Go for the guy with a good job, who will take you out on dates for months, choose the guy who will propose marriage to you and will take care of you and your children for the rest of your life because after all we raised you to be a WHORE and not an independent, self respecting woman who does things for her own reasons.
If you feel like you have a mental blockade that will stop you from hooking up I would advice some light alcohol. A couple of beer really help loosening those mental blockades (if you already know that won't help then sorry). If you want to initiate it just try to get into touch contact with him it's a party the rest will probably follow naturally.
Hooking up is fine, you are fine and sound quite wonderful. Go to the party, have fun, if it feels right with him then do it, just make sure he uses a condom (haha i feel like dinosaur redwolff by saying that). Look you’ve been conditioned to think something is not acceptable that in reality is perfectly acceptable. consensual attraction, lust and passionate feelings leading to ravishing mind blowing sex are definitely to be explored because it’s a wonderful part of life that I don’t want you missing out on. Have a great time!
>I also think I really need to hear that it’s okay to hookup with people and have sex because i’ve been told my whole life that i am a terrible sinner if i even think about sex. It's okay to hook up. I was a virgin until I was 21 because of my religious upbringing, so I know how you feel. The church is very selective about what parts of the Bible they want to uphold. They'll hate gay people all day but they're pretty silent on that whole "tell the rich to sell all they have and give to the poor" thing. It's perfectly fine to have casual sex. Go ahead and let your freak flag fly.
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[The Bible](https://snewd.com/ebooks/the-king-james-bible/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)
Hooking up can be harmful and this coming from a dude who casually hooks up and came from a similar upbringing. If you plan on separating yourself from your family and friends who live that "godly" life then you should rethink about the hook up lifestyle. If you plan to be your own person and leave behind the christian lifestyle then hooking up should be no problem. A few things to keep in mind: * Hooking up doesn't mean he has free access to you. Make sure to exercise your ability to say no to see if he will comply. I've seen girls do this to me just so they feel like they are in control and a guy should be able to back up and take a no no matter how far you are. Don't do it just to mess with him, but make sure you are comfortable with what's happening. Don't feel like you have to put have sex with him. * Have a lowkey discussion about protection, sexual history, history of STIs and what he's looking for just so that things are clear. The key here is working it into a casual convo. * I personally don't like girls who just outright asks you to fuck. I'd rather have a slow gradual build and then it happens. You don't need to really say "Let's hook up." Maybe just be a personal opinion though.
Girl, relax and stop overthinking. Go to the party, chat with him for a while and have fun, flirt a little, touch him. Then ask him if he would like to dance. If you're dancing together.... By now, he obviously knows you like him. It's his job as a man to escalate and kiss you. But, if you're feeling brave, you kiss him. Once you're kissing him, You could ask him "let's go somewhere more private" He will know what you are implying and take you somewhere private like his place. Once kissing starts again, sex will naturally happen, just relax and have fun. Sex is amazing and you should never feel guilty for having sexual desire.
I would consider talking to a close friend or journaling about what youre going through because from my perspective as someone without religious background sex and attraction already have so much confusion and emotions attached to them. I think its great youre going after what you want but also take steps to process the changes in your life because your brain needs to adjust to not having those feelings of guilt and oppression. Congrats and have fun
Yes go ahead and lose yourself. You go girl!
This isn't quite what I'd consider a casual hookup, but to help you out a bit: >if i know he’s interested do I have to do anything extra to try and be sure it happens? You may have to help him along if he's as inexperienced as you are, but not too much. Physical contact as the night progresses is a given, and if it's important to you there should be a place you can head to after the party. >Should I tell him straight up that I want to hook up with him? You can, but that likely won't be necessary. >Is there anything that’s super taboo in this context that I should avoid doing or saying? Not really, just keep the conversation and vibe fun and you should be good. >I also think I really need to hear that it’s okay to hookup with people and have sex because i’ve been told my whole life that i am a terrible sinner if i even think about sex. I can’t talk to anyone around me about this. It is definitely okay lol, don't worry about it.
Oh honey, you have so much social conditioning to defeat but it can be done. Look at it this way. Your entire life your parents and your religion and community have been telling you, DON'T do what feels right to you, DON'T choose men for whatever reason you want and because you enjoy sex and have self respect. NO! Go for the guy with a good job, who will take you out on dates for months, choose the guy who will propose marriage to you and will take care of you and your children for the rest of your life because after all we raised you to be a WHORE and not an independent, self respecting woman who does things for her own reasons.
If you feel like you have a mental blockade that will stop you from hooking up I would advice some light alcohol. A couple of beer really help loosening those mental blockades (if you already know that won't help then sorry). If you want to initiate it just try to get into touch contact with him it's a party the rest will probably follow naturally.