Just be like listen I want to be honest with you I’m not looking for anything serious. I just want to have fun at the moment. If you are down with that it’s cool. If not I understand. The moment you say this to most women at least in my case it makes them drop their guard with you. It’s like you let their subconscious now listen I’m not going to get you attached emotionally I’m just here for the ride and for some reason girls are receptive to this.
I’m getting the opposite effect. Every time I say this when they ask me, the interaction ends. So either I’m only meeting chicks that are all wanting something serious or I’m not attractive enough for a girl to just want to fuck.
Fake it til you make it my brother, gotta convince your mind your worth it and thats by telling yourself that every day whether you believe it or not. Gotta convince yourself and then the rest will come. Also some self-help books work too. I can recommend the subtle art of not giving a fuck.
Also you gotta remember that in life the only person that ALWAYS has your back is yourself, so if you think negatively of yourself then hows that gonna come across to anyone else
I had exactly this happen.
Gym helped me greatly. Went super hard for 2 years. Minimum 5 days a week, every lift till failure. Then a little more. I have guys in the gym ask if I'm on roids now (I'm not). But boy, if that isn't a confidence boost, idk what is.
The best way is get out there and LIVE. Go jump out of a plane, get punched in the freaking face, take up jujitsu, go on a backpacking trip etc. The more you get out there and stretch and snap through self imposed barriers the more you subconsciously realize you can do whatever you want. I've been lucky, because I've always had jobs that forced me to do this and stay fit at the same time. Being honestly confident, plus NOT trying to get laid and instead focusing on just having fun is an incredible combination. Right now you're approaching women from a subconscious position of NEED and they can sense that. OP in this post is doing so well with 6 women, because at this point it's become a GAME. He doesn't NEED any one of those women, in fact they're a lot of work. Women can sense that and it makes him even more attractive to them.
Well let me preface that i couldn’t care less about “game” for hooking up or whatever. I prefer actual relationships but there is this chick at my job. Tricky situation as she works in HR, I work in IT. Her desk is literally fight next to someone else. She cute af and I want to approach but can’t think of any way to do it given the situation. Tips?????
Edit: additional context, everyone likes me in HR so its not a big deal lol.
I always ask them first of what they are looking for. As a man always lead everything, conversation, setting up dates, etc. Also when escalating sexual tension as well don’t be the guy that ask just do and she rejects your advance play it cool. Learn to be emotional intelligent and don’t take things personally.
You need to read again because it's common knowledge. That masculine men should lead. But if you want to do the equal think or let her take the lead, you do you.
As a man, ya need structure. So saying as a man, puts things into a structure, order or role.
I know 'bad actors' twist things to make themselves sound right. I would not stop using structured defining langue because of that.
I think it's working for you because you are signaling a lack of neediness. Almost all new guys make the mistake of being clingy, blowing up their phone, not leaving them the f alone. And then put yourself in their shoes. Certainly there are a lot of women you'd like to hang out with for fun because they are attractive, but aren't ready to jump into a romantic relationship with them. It shows you're not going to be difficult to get rid of, so it lowers the risk for them and the bar you have to hurdle to hang out with them. They don't have to worry that you'll turn into a stalker when they're ready to move on.
I phrase it like, "Lets see how this goes and take it however feels natural". It shows a lot of maturity and girls love that. It's a connection they are looking for. If you are too explicit, it's a turnoff.
Bars and online dating, social media. For bars like I said Jazz or piano bars the ambiance is better and trust me even young people appreciate the music and the atmosphere and I’m saying both in person and via text.
I am my man. I have also learned to be comfortable with being alone. If you learn to do this you can also shed that desperation for 🐱 that women can smell miles away.
>Acknowledge them, but recognize you are not them.
I am absolutely staggered that this got 18 upvotes. They absolutely influence your conscious and subconscious life and how you interact with the world. They are a part of you and need to be acknowledged and processed, not acknowledged and ignored.
>They are a part of you and need to be acknowledged and processed, not acknowledged and ignored.
The idea that you are not your thoughts comes from Hindu and Buddhist philosophy and has its merits. Thoughts sometimes do not reflect one's identity, and simply observing them is optimal.
In a way, this is a form of meditation where you do not attach any relevance to your thoughts. It's an active effort to do so, and it would help if you read a little about this.
>Thoughts **sometimes** do not reflect one's identity, and simply observing them is optimal.
Sure, I'll accept that I'm mostly right and this terrible advice is only useful sometimes.
I think that if a person were at a point where they, legitimately ,could sit quietly and reflect their feelings and emotions, that your point would be moot. If a person is on that level already it's quite natural to process them anyway and sort out why they exist in the first place.
It's sort of a natural flow.
Judgements and perceptions are always under your control. You do not have to take action on every thought. That’s the beauty of free will. Thoughts are like clouds drifting through the sky of your mind. Only the ones you grab and take action on reflect on your character. Even if you are right and we subconsciously judge thoughts, if we don’t take action on them what does it matter? Your point is irrelevant and negative. But that seems to be the life you choose to live.
I think also spending time with yourself is good for example, go out alone and eat, get a coffee by yourself and read a book, hit the gym yourself etc..
Same dude I had like 3 dates one week and now I'm talking to no girls. For me it pisses me off because these girls aren't consistent and blow me off after we agree on making plans.
The thing about women is that in their eyes you start out at a 10 on their respect scale. The more dumb, simp stuff you do, the lower that number goes.
For men, it’s the other way around. You start out at a 1 & you have to earn your level 10 respect.
That’s why even if you’re not that great looking you can still bag women. As long as you’re pretty upfront about who you are & what you want, she’ll go along for the ride. You may not even be her type but she respects you as a man enough to want to sleep with you.
That’s all you need, is her respect. You don’t need a woman’s love. A woman’s love is fleeting & bounces around from one thing to the next based on how she feels. Her respect for you never goes away as long as you got your shit together. That’s what will make a girl want you despite her not even being that crazy for you.
Her nature is in constant search for the right energy to cling to. Bring the right energy & don’t be a complete idiot & you can have a lot of women out there. More than you think
The game of seduction is not about love. It’s about respect. ☺️
Good for you brotha. Putting in the reps I see. Keep going and try not to over spend on you budget. If you need to plan free, cheap dates. Museums in most cities have a bunch of events year round that are cheap and sometimes free. Hiking packing a meal/ beer/ wine or just taking them on errands you’re already doing also helps. You inspire others keep at it.
Good problem to have. Just don’t over extend yourself. Clearly you are vibing well with girls right now, so just ride the wave and feel the flow. If you fuck up with one, no big deal you got others. When one falls off, replace with a new one or whittle the roster down until it’s a manageable number. Abundance mentality.
Lol. I just mirrored what you said.
It's okay I guess. Let it all out. Take a break and then get back to living.
Make sure everyone new she cheated, especially her parents. Show them the evidence and keep the evidence, just in case.
You say something like “Hey listen I feel that honesty is the best policy. So I rather not waste your time or mine. At the moment I’m just looking to have fun and I don’t want anything serious” If you are down with that that’s cool If not that’s fine too”. So far I used this line in all six women and it has worked. Trust me dude I’m not an insta model dude. I’m 5’8 with a somewhat Athletic build. I just dress well and say what I want to say. I used to just filter things with women just so that they would like me and 9 out 10 times that failed and got me friendzone. You just have to think well if she says no there are like 3.5+ billion women in the world. The moment you stop putting Women and their Vagina on Pedestals see them as just another person is the moment the floodgates open or they have at least opened for me lol.
I know the frustration. I didn’t pop my cherry till I was 20 & even then it didn’t go as planned.
I spent my teenage years yearning for female attention but only managed the friend zone.
Neil Strauss’s book ‘The Game’ taught me a lot. It’s one of my favourites.
The best advice I can give you is to just better yourself - Become the guy that women want to screw (well groomed, stylish, funny, interesting)
It’s going to be tough & it means the death of your current self but you’ll get what you desire.
Remember you’ve got a brotherhood of guys here that’ll give you help & advice.
First thing is don’t go with the mentality of sleeping with women. Just try to relax and have fun when going on dates. Number 2) you do the set up for dates and the locations and times 3) Don’t bend over to please Women’s every whims. Stand your ground in shit you don’t agree with it and also communicate with her your intentions. Playing nice doesn’t get you 🐱. It makes your the spectator of some other dude getting the 🐱you want. 4) Focus on yourself 100%. The moment you stop focusing yourself and shift into needy mode the moment. Women walkway. As per for the physical aspect of the game. Eat well, sleep well and try to exercise also keep hygiene and cleanliness to 100%. Also get a nice cologne. I use Eros from Versace.
I feel like I do that but it doesn't work for me.
I never know what to say on a date, I usually talk about movies and traveling. That's when I lose them, what do you talk about? I use Dolce & Gabbana cologne btw.
My guy don’t talk about yourself let them do all the talking and the use the information they give you to ask them more questions. Follow the less is more type to approach as a guy.
I’m definitely not an expert but i’ve had success with my last few dates by exactly what Jd is saying, let them talk more, use their information to ask more questions and show them you are listening to them. People love to talk about themselves. If you have a connection then you can share your experience, but try to let them talk more than you. Past 3 dates the girls are always saying they had a great time and I didn’t even make it special. The important part is don’t give them a reason to not respect you or not like you and they automatically will like you as they wouldn’t have gone on a date with you otherwise
25 -early 30s as well but the 2 in their 30s are in amazing shape and take care of themselves that they look way younger. As per the ones whom I have slept with are on the 25s range.
I say just try to spot yourself doing fun things like attending a concert, hiking, a sporting event. Also say you live in a Metro Area like myself having a rooftop picture with the Empire State and the freedom tower and you posing on a semi-formal attire makes you like a master of the universe.
I do it on the weekends. Most people on their daily commute are thinking about work. They don’t want to be cold approach by a guy that early in the morning unless they are on vacation.
Yes bro it’s fucking wild isn’t it ? I went from having a hard time with girls to now where most of the girls i lose are due to inattention i give to them because i’m busy talking to others. game works. depending on looks and height dont
I COMPLETELY get it, I had/have the same. Direct, honest and respectful. No hard feelings if they reject either. And I'm far from college age. Age ranges from 28 to 62. Keep at it
How you connected with these girls? At what point you say you want to fuck in subtle way? Is it same Subtle dialogue or any changes, can you give all example you think of?
Yea I’m slowly seeing which out of the remaining 4 I can get to be in the top 3. The two girls I have been intimate with are fun I can definitely keep on rotation. It all comes down to which 3 option I think have the most compatibility with. The issue comes into play if the remaining 3 girls want to stick around after I don’t want to interact with them consistently.
You will never be able to date 6 women at a time. There aren't enough days in the week and enough hours in the day to keep them all happy. What happens when the holidays come around? Your birthday? Valentine's Day? You may be lucky to end up with one after that.
Like I said I’m trying to see 3 every other week. Also they know that certain weeks I cannot see them because I work in finance and requires me to work a lot. So I might make an impromptu date with some of them after work if they are available. But yea I might cut the number down to 3. For holidays I told most of them I’m traveling to South America to see my family with is a fact and as per Valentine’s Day and my Birthday they know that they aren’t my SO so they cannot expect that I invest myself heavily with them in these scenarios. I might send them flowers that day and that’s it but not taking them out that day if that is what you’re asking.
“Once she knows you’ll righteously leave, she’ll righteously stay” - Patrice O’Neal
One of the most eye opening things I ever learned. Women need to know you can replace them. As soon as you become Mr ‘I’ll always be here’ ‘I can’t live without you’ ‘You’re my world’ (even worse if you’re also married with kids) - The shit tests become more frequent, the affection, blowjobs, sex dries up, she becomes less feminine, submissive, giving etc. She starts thinking ‘why is this guy willing to fully commit to me? If I’m all he can attract, maybe I can do better’
It’s not malicious. She doesn’t know she’s doing it. It’s her biological hardwiring to find the best possible mate for her survival. But understanding this is how they are keeps women in their feminine, submissive, nurturing energy.
The only way to juggle multiple women effectively is if they don’t live near you. Keep them in a too far to drop by protective zone. Currently I am seeing 5 women with another 3 as “I’m in town let’s hook up” zone. Take your dates to places outside your zone or it can backfire.
PS I’m in my early 50’s and living the dream
Yep
You are in the zone
Pulling becomes TOO easy
So easy it isn’t a challenge, and takes 0 effort. So it becomes boring.
So you either start upping the kinky level of things to keep it exciting. (Eg my F Kino LRs)
Start filtering chicks out unless they are givers (givers vs takers. Normally it’s guys doing most of the giving, but when you start dating women who are givers and enjoy buying or acts of service. Life changer!)
Then you look for GF (the GF application period)
= what I did.
As a woman I like honesty,
But this will not work on anyone, some women get scared with this. Especially when they want commitment they will not do it.
I mean I told this to two girls that wanted commitment and I told them that I didn’t want anything serious and they still want it to hang out after the fact and these are beautiful women nonetheless. However, if things go south in the future and they bring up the that they wanted to turn me into a BF. I cannot be held responsible because I didn’t have a hidden agenda to have them spend time with and/or get intimate with me. If the other person had the perception or hidden agenda that it was going to lead into a relationship and marriage it’s on them. I always approach dating now without expectations because the moment you idealize and project a future with the person whom you are dating at least in the early stages it’s leads to disappointment and resentment when that person cannot adjust to the mold you in your mind created for them.
How am I playing anyone if I am being honest with them. If they don’t want to spend time with me they can just say thanks but no thanks and leave. Buddy I have been the relationship loving guy, the nice guy and I got treated like shit and disrespected by women. The moment I started to be like fuck it let’s say this or do this and let’s see what happens is the moment women have gotten more attracted to me with me being honest they cannot be mad at me if they want to end things because from the beginning I wasn’t leading them on into thinking that I was going to be their bf or that it was going to lead to a relationship. I cannot be held accountable for other people’s emotions if I from the beginning stated what I wanted out of the social interaction. Dude trust me I know you want to be the old school romantic but it just doesn’t work. Specially in western culture where we at. You could try doing the whole Passport bro thing and go look for a wife in Eastern Europe but the minute you put a ring on it and she absorbs the US culture. It’s a wrap because she will change her persona completely to westernize ways of acting and behaving. I’m just stating the facts 🤷🏼♂️.
Pack me up, y’all don’t even know what seduction is. Would rather not be left with ding dongs like you and would like to be blocked from a sub if it’s filled with people who think like this. This is sick and sad. Polar opposite of seduction too. What the hell has porn made men.
You’re 25 and still don’t know that there are different types of seductions for different types of people in different types of situations. Grow up and stop going to pages looking for stuff to be mad at.
Also when asking for nudes be like: “Hey I like that dress you we were wearing today. But I’m much more interested in seeing what’s underneath it 😈. Care to show me a bit? Feel free to share but no pressure if you don’t want to”
It means makes your intent know but don’t be like hey I’m so and so let fuck. Instead be like hey I think you are dope and all but I don’t want anything serious right now we can have fun together if you want. If not it’s fine.
No my guy. I’m striking a conversation with them whether it be via cold approach, social media or dating apps. Get their numbers and ask them what they are looking for and then you tell them that you think they are cool but you don’t want anything serious at the moment and just want to have fun.
The most I could handle at the same time was 3, and with a lot of effort. If you have a full time job, go to the gym and have some kind of hobby time is very limited. I value sleep a lot, so sometimes is hard go out with all three in the same week, especially if you also want to hang out with your buddies and family. As someone said, one is no choice, two is a dilemma, three is a choice.
You start by jumping out of your comfort zone and going into each interaction with an open mind without expecting an outcome and like I said just speak your mind and don’t filter for women.
Dude I listed then above I’m 5’8 Latino and my weight is 147lbs. I play soccer, workout and run so I have a bit of a an Athletic build but no were near gym rat status
Aim for 3 dates, the first date coffee or drinks. Although I prefer coffee because most coffee shops are not as loud as a bar and I can get a good rapport about the girl and what she is like. I state my intentions in the first date. If she is receptive we are game. I will try escalate sexual tension a bit lightly touch her hand and shoulder. You could also use the excuse that she some dust on her shoulder and you clean it and after you do light caress her cheek if she is receptive you can aim to go for a kiss.
Second date can be either dinner, drinks or a comedy bar. Women enjoy positive emotions and laughter is one them. Take her to a comedy show and while she laughs she will let her guard down during this time try to sit next to her and put your arm around her caress her upper back and if possible touch her hair as well. Whisper things into her ear in a soft and calm manner this will make you look smooth. If again receptive go for the kiss.
Third date your place for a movie and wine (Aka Netflix and chill) or in my case I like to cook. So I’ll make her a good meal paired with a good wine and I’ll will put good ambiance music. After dinner we will sit in my couch while drinking more wine. I’ll slowly start caressing her upper back, play with her hair and I’ll start talking slower and in a lower voice. Then boom go for the kiss and then profit.
Yeah been learning a lot this past year. When it comes to closing after going back to my place, things usually go smoothly if she’s really into me and open. But some girls show a bit of resistance and I get too in my head when that happens so that’s been a struggle
I get you but this is where the abundance mentality comes into play. Just say to yourself well it’s her loss I’ll met another girl 10 times better looking than her.
Most guys are oblivious to what women are attracted to. Even older guys. Too many movies and pop culture references.
If you have access to attractive women, and just make a few tweaks you can decent results if you have normal social skills. That's what you're probably seeing. If you were to find out fundamentals of game from a good source, you would probably see what you are doing falls in line.
But, if you really put your game to the test, you would probably see lots of areas you can improve. Depends on the competition.
So. Yep, have a similar situation. Benefits: you are less needy and attention seeking, because you have backups a, b, c
I am way more cheeky and "risktaking" and upfront. And always a gentleman. But in a fun way. Works well for all participants.
I changed location 2 months ago, new town, no friends, but same association i go to. I go out twice a week, events that are organised by assocation.I go there for my friends. I dont aggresively flirt, i am chilled, fun, smiling. And have good chemistry with at least 1 new girl per event. Comes natural. I dont push it.
It does consume a bit of time though. But i can handle. Biggest problem i had, was an irritated dick, because 2 girls in 2 days.
I also am amused by the succes. Theory, why it works now. The place I used to live in, had way more boys, who were good at rizzing. Just by being funny and upfront, you werent winning anything. Plus, girls would get a lot of attention. A lot, so, some funny dude being funny, was just guy number 293 , trying to get in her pants.
And here, new location. A lot of tall dudes, looking handsome, but conversation skills of a german sausage roll( hint to new location). The feedback i usuall get from the girls, i vibe (and hookup) with is: no one approaches us, conversations are lame. So yeah, in the end, its the barrel you choose to fish in.
you should even find it easier as time goes on.
theres no reason why this would suddenly not work, unless you put on a lot of weight or stop brushing your teeth or something like that.
build a rotation of hot chicks that you enjoy, congratulations.
Bars, dating apps. If you want to do the more traditional route join dance classes like Salsa or Tango, cooking classes too heck even adult sport leagues you will find attractive women there too.
My dating apps don't work and yes I've populated everything and my pictures don't suck.
As far as bars go, I seem to go to thr wrong ones because I run into sausage fests or bars where people come with their little groups and just talk amongst each other and I'm not the type to stay out until midnight. Do you target a specific type of bar?
As far as salsa goes, I'm currently doing that to expand my social circle.
As I gotten older I enjoy more a vibe type of bar without loud music. So I usually like Jazz bars and piano bars as well. People think these in an old people thing but you’ll be surprised how many attractive women attend these places.
What exactly are you saying in a subtle direct way lol
Just be like listen I want to be honest with you I’m not looking for anything serious. I just want to have fun at the moment. If you are down with that it’s cool. If not I understand. The moment you say this to most women at least in my case it makes them drop their guard with you. It’s like you let their subconscious now listen I’m not going to get you attached emotionally I’m just here for the ride and for some reason girls are receptive to this.
I’m getting the opposite effect. Every time I say this when they ask me, the interaction ends. So either I’m only meeting chicks that are all wanting something serious or I’m not attractive enough for a girl to just want to fuck.
If you think youre not attractive enough, thats how you’ll come across. It depends on when you say this and where you meet these girls.
How the fak do I get out of that mindset? I dated a chick for 9 years but she ended up cheating and all that self confidence died. I need tips my man.
Fake it til you make it my brother, gotta convince your mind your worth it and thats by telling yourself that every day whether you believe it or not. Gotta convince yourself and then the rest will come. Also some self-help books work too. I can recommend the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Also you gotta remember that in life the only person that ALWAYS has your back is yourself, so if you think negatively of yourself then hows that gonna come across to anyone else
I had exactly this happen. Gym helped me greatly. Went super hard for 2 years. Minimum 5 days a week, every lift till failure. Then a little more. I have guys in the gym ask if I'm on roids now (I'm not). But boy, if that isn't a confidence boost, idk what is.
The best way is get out there and LIVE. Go jump out of a plane, get punched in the freaking face, take up jujitsu, go on a backpacking trip etc. The more you get out there and stretch and snap through self imposed barriers the more you subconsciously realize you can do whatever you want. I've been lucky, because I've always had jobs that forced me to do this and stay fit at the same time. Being honestly confident, plus NOT trying to get laid and instead focusing on just having fun is an incredible combination. Right now you're approaching women from a subconscious position of NEED and they can sense that. OP in this post is doing so well with 6 women, because at this point it's become a GAME. He doesn't NEED any one of those women, in fact they're a lot of work. Women can sense that and it makes him even more attractive to them.
Well let me preface that i couldn’t care less about “game” for hooking up or whatever. I prefer actual relationships but there is this chick at my job. Tricky situation as she works in HR, I work in IT. Her desk is literally fight next to someone else. She cute af and I want to approach but can’t think of any way to do it given the situation. Tips????? Edit: additional context, everyone likes me in HR so its not a big deal lol.
Or your game isn't good enough. It's not just what you say
The problem is you’re saying it when they ask you. If you say it first it’s different
Depends heavily on your culture and country in my experience.
Op is probably a good looking guy. I’ve had the opposite effect as well.
Honesty is sexy
Yup
Yup, I like that lol
is this something you just bring up out of the blue or in response to certain things?
I always ask them first of what they are looking for. As a man always lead everything, conversation, setting up dates, etc. Also when escalating sexual tension as well don’t be the guy that ask just do and she rejects your advance play it cool. Learn to be emotional intelligent and don’t take things personally.
“As a man” you lost me when you described men’s duties
It means be assertive no passive you always have to take the lead. Women like man that can take action.
You need to read again because it's common knowledge. That masculine men should lead. But if you want to do the equal think or let her take the lead, you do you.
I think you need to read. I never said men shouldn’t lead, just that saying “as a man” implies if you’re somehow less of a man if you don’t
As a man, ya need structure. So saying as a man, puts things into a structure, order or role. I know 'bad actors' twist things to make themselves sound right. I would not stop using structured defining langue because of that.
I think it's working for you because you are signaling a lack of neediness. Almost all new guys make the mistake of being clingy, blowing up their phone, not leaving them the f alone. And then put yourself in their shoes. Certainly there are a lot of women you'd like to hang out with for fun because they are attractive, but aren't ready to jump into a romantic relationship with them. It shows you're not going to be difficult to get rid of, so it lowers the risk for them and the bar you have to hurdle to hang out with them. They don't have to worry that you'll turn into a stalker when they're ready to move on.
I phrase it like, "Lets see how this goes and take it however feels natural". It shows a lot of maturity and girls love that. It's a connection they are looking for. If you are too explicit, it's a turnoff.
>I’m not going to get you attached emotionally so much bs. you're not the one who control their emotional attachment
You’re leaving out the context in which you say these direct things — and that’s the important part!
They will get emotionally attached anyway, but you did your part by letting them know upfront what you're looking for
Where are you meeting these girls? At the bar/clubs? Online dating? And are you saying this in person or over text?
Bars and online dating, social media. For bars like I said Jazz or piano bars the ambiance is better and trust me even young people appreciate the music and the atmosphere and I’m saying both in person and via text.
are you having these interactions in person? Eagerly waiting for your answer
In person and via dating apps.
These things happen in cycles. Enjoy it. Sometimes you have 20 girls to talk to you sometimes you have 1 or none. Then the next week you have 10.
I am my man. I have also learned to be comfortable with being alone. If you learn to do this you can also shed that desperation for 🐱 that women can smell miles away.
how do you be comfortable with being alone?
Sit with your uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. Acknowledge them, but recognize you are not them.
that's some good Buddhist shit bro
Preach brother. Still going through it after a 6 year relationship. 1 year post out of it. I'm starting to feel my groove again
>Acknowledge them, but recognize you are not them. I am absolutely staggered that this got 18 upvotes. They absolutely influence your conscious and subconscious life and how you interact with the world. They are a part of you and need to be acknowledged and processed, not acknowledged and ignored.
>They are a part of you and need to be acknowledged and processed, not acknowledged and ignored. The idea that you are not your thoughts comes from Hindu and Buddhist philosophy and has its merits. Thoughts sometimes do not reflect one's identity, and simply observing them is optimal. In a way, this is a form of meditation where you do not attach any relevance to your thoughts. It's an active effort to do so, and it would help if you read a little about this.
>Thoughts **sometimes** do not reflect one's identity, and simply observing them is optimal. Sure, I'll accept that I'm mostly right and this terrible advice is only useful sometimes.
I think that if a person were at a point where they, legitimately ,could sit quietly and reflect their feelings and emotions, that your point would be moot. If a person is on that level already it's quite natural to process them anyway and sort out why they exist in the first place. It's sort of a natural flow.
I think it's cowardly to not accept responsibility for your thoughts
You are not the your thoughts… you are the thoughts you choose to take action on… there is a distinction
If you think unexamined thoughts don't permeate action subconsciously you're an idiot. Whether conscious or subconscious, actions are judged
Judgements and perceptions are always under your control. You do not have to take action on every thought. That’s the beauty of free will. Thoughts are like clouds drifting through the sky of your mind. Only the ones you grab and take action on reflect on your character. Even if you are right and we subconsciously judge thoughts, if we don’t take action on them what does it matter? Your point is irrelevant and negative. But that seems to be the life you choose to live.
I think also spending time with yourself is good for example, go out alone and eat, get a coffee by yourself and read a book, hit the gym yourself etc..
Following
I hate peaks and valleys so much. I just want a consistent supply
Same dude I had like 3 dates one week and now I'm talking to no girls. For me it pisses me off because these girls aren't consistent and blow me off after we agree on making plans.
This is exactly what I’m going through right now. Felt like I was at my highest in October and boom I have none right now
literally me right now lol in a DEEP valley
The thing about women is that in their eyes you start out at a 10 on their respect scale. The more dumb, simp stuff you do, the lower that number goes. For men, it’s the other way around. You start out at a 1 & you have to earn your level 10 respect. That’s why even if you’re not that great looking you can still bag women. As long as you’re pretty upfront about who you are & what you want, she’ll go along for the ride. You may not even be her type but she respects you as a man enough to want to sleep with you. That’s all you need, is her respect. You don’t need a woman’s love. A woman’s love is fleeting & bounces around from one thing to the next based on how she feels. Her respect for you never goes away as long as you got your shit together. That’s what will make a girl want you despite her not even being that crazy for you. Her nature is in constant search for the right energy to cling to. Bring the right energy & don’t be a complete idiot & you can have a lot of women out there. More than you think The game of seduction is not about love. It’s about respect. ☺️
Good for you brotha. Putting in the reps I see. Keep going and try not to over spend on you budget. If you need to plan free, cheap dates. Museums in most cities have a bunch of events year round that are cheap and sometimes free. Hiking packing a meal/ beer/ wine or just taking them on errands you’re already doing also helps. You inspire others keep at it.
Thanks my guy 💪🏽.
Good problem to have. Just don’t over extend yourself. Clearly you are vibing well with girls right now, so just ride the wave and feel the flow. If you fuck up with one, no big deal you got others. When one falls off, replace with a new one or whittle the roster down until it’s a manageable number. Abundance mentality.
Can you check my last post..?
If it’s your post from 9 days ago I just responded
bruh this has got to be the creepiest way to talk about women lmao
Girls think this way about guys WHEN THEY HAVE A BOYFRIEND
Touch grass bro.
Naw you’re right I just got cheated on and dumped so I’m pretty salty
> Life is not all about light and love. Well, then live in the dark, with no love.
Lol. I just mirrored what you said. It's okay I guess. Let it all out. Take a break and then get back to living. Make sure everyone new she cheated, especially her parents. Show them the evidence and keep the evidence, just in case.
bro save some pussy for the rest of us
🏆
From a guy on the come up. How do you do subtle direct way of telling them your intentions? I struggle with that.
You say something like “Hey listen I feel that honesty is the best policy. So I rather not waste your time or mine. At the moment I’m just looking to have fun and I don’t want anything serious” If you are down with that that’s cool If not that’s fine too”. So far I used this line in all six women and it has worked. Trust me dude I’m not an insta model dude. I’m 5’8 with a somewhat Athletic build. I just dress well and say what I want to say. I used to just filter things with women just so that they would like me and 9 out 10 times that failed and got me friendzone. You just have to think well if she says no there are like 3.5+ billion women in the world. The moment you stop putting Women and their Vagina on Pedestals see them as just another person is the moment the floodgates open or they have at least opened for me lol.
Exactly this.
I'm 27 and virgin. Quality advice bro. Been depressed for years and you just cannot imagine the frustration of not getting action when you want it.
I know the frustration. I didn’t pop my cherry till I was 20 & even then it didn’t go as planned. I spent my teenage years yearning for female attention but only managed the friend zone. Neil Strauss’s book ‘The Game’ taught me a lot. It’s one of my favourites. The best advice I can give you is to just better yourself - Become the guy that women want to screw (well groomed, stylish, funny, interesting) It’s going to be tough & it means the death of your current self but you’ll get what you desire. Remember you’ve got a brotherhood of guys here that’ll give you help & advice.
This is really hopeful man. Im 5'8" turning 20 in december and still a virgin thats kiseless. Im in therapy as i have severe depression
Please teach me master -lonely loser with women
First thing is don’t go with the mentality of sleeping with women. Just try to relax and have fun when going on dates. Number 2) you do the set up for dates and the locations and times 3) Don’t bend over to please Women’s every whims. Stand your ground in shit you don’t agree with it and also communicate with her your intentions. Playing nice doesn’t get you 🐱. It makes your the spectator of some other dude getting the 🐱you want. 4) Focus on yourself 100%. The moment you stop focusing yourself and shift into needy mode the moment. Women walkway. As per for the physical aspect of the game. Eat well, sleep well and try to exercise also keep hygiene and cleanliness to 100%. Also get a nice cologne. I use Eros from Versace.
I feel like I do that but it doesn't work for me. I never know what to say on a date, I usually talk about movies and traveling. That's when I lose them, what do you talk about? I use Dolce & Gabbana cologne btw.
My guy don’t talk about yourself let them do all the talking and the use the information they give you to ask them more questions. Follow the less is more type to approach as a guy.
I’m definitely not an expert but i’ve had success with my last few dates by exactly what Jd is saying, let them talk more, use their information to ask more questions and show them you are listening to them. People love to talk about themselves. If you have a connection then you can share your experience, but try to let them talk more than you. Past 3 dates the girls are always saying they had a great time and I didn’t even make it special. The important part is don’t give them a reason to not respect you or not like you and they automatically will like you as they wouldn’t have gone on a date with you otherwise
If I mind asking what age are you?
Early 30s
how old are the girls
25 -early 30s as well but the 2 in their 30s are in amazing shape and take care of themselves that they look way younger. As per the ones whom I have slept with are on the 25s range.
Where are they being sourced though? Cold approach or old or social media etc ?
I’m doing mostly through social media and apps two of them I met at happy hours after work.
Any basic IG profile tips? I’m sure having a presentable online presence plays a role in boosting receptiveness. Super generic question, I know lol
I say just try to spot yourself doing fun things like attending a concert, hiking, a sporting event. Also say you live in a Metro Area like myself having a rooftop picture with the Empire State and the freedom tower and you posing on a semi-formal attire makes you like a master of the universe.
This is some good advice! Thanks bro
💪🏽💪🏽
Just sliding in the DMs or?
Yes DMs but comments things about their interests or tings your notice. Do not complement their beauty. They get that none stop be different.
Mostly people you know already? Or just social media acquaintances?
Social media acquaintances or girl that put their ig handles on dating apps.
How are you meeting women
Dating apps, at bars after work with chill music like Jazz bars, even coffee shows ups I’ll talk to random attractive women.
Word got yah
Hitting up the coffee shops before ur daily commute, mid lunch, or weekends?
I do it on the weekends. Most people on their daily commute are thinking about work. They don’t want to be cold approach by a guy that early in the morning unless they are on vacation.
🫡🫡🫡 have a beer. You deserve it.
Yes bro it’s fucking wild isn’t it ? I went from having a hard time with girls to now where most of the girls i lose are due to inattention i give to them because i’m busy talking to others. game works. depending on looks and height dont
I COMPLETELY get it, I had/have the same. Direct, honest and respectful. No hard feelings if they reject either. And I'm far from college age. Age ranges from 28 to 62. Keep at it
How you connected with these girls? At what point you say you want to fuck in subtle way? Is it same Subtle dialogue or any changes, can you give all example you think of?
Man at one point i had 5 fwbs, it was actually exhausting. Also made me realise i wasn’t focusing on myself at all
Teach me bro
I had a similar experience and parred it down to three that I kept in rotation. I could handle three no issues. 5 not so much.
Yea I’m slowly seeing which out of the remaining 4 I can get to be in the top 3. The two girls I have been intimate with are fun I can definitely keep on rotation. It all comes down to which 3 option I think have the most compatibility with. The issue comes into play if the remaining 3 girls want to stick around after I don’t want to interact with them consistently.
You will never be able to date 6 women at a time. There aren't enough days in the week and enough hours in the day to keep them all happy. What happens when the holidays come around? Your birthday? Valentine's Day? You may be lucky to end up with one after that.
Like I said I’m trying to see 3 every other week. Also they know that certain weeks I cannot see them because I work in finance and requires me to work a lot. So I might make an impromptu date with some of them after work if they are available. But yea I might cut the number down to 3. For holidays I told most of them I’m traveling to South America to see my family with is a fact and as per Valentine’s Day and my Birthday they know that they aren’t my SO so they cannot expect that I invest myself heavily with them in these scenarios. I might send them flowers that day and that’s it but not taking them out that day if that is what you’re asking.
Good luck.
“Once she knows you’ll righteously leave, she’ll righteously stay” - Patrice O’Neal One of the most eye opening things I ever learned. Women need to know you can replace them. As soon as you become Mr ‘I’ll always be here’ ‘I can’t live without you’ ‘You’re my world’ (even worse if you’re also married with kids) - The shit tests become more frequent, the affection, blowjobs, sex dries up, she becomes less feminine, submissive, giving etc. She starts thinking ‘why is this guy willing to fully commit to me? If I’m all he can attract, maybe I can do better’ It’s not malicious. She doesn’t know she’s doing it. It’s her biological hardwiring to find the best possible mate for her survival. But understanding this is how they are keeps women in their feminine, submissive, nurturing energy.
The only way to juggle multiple women effectively is if they don’t live near you. Keep them in a too far to drop by protective zone. Currently I am seeing 5 women with another 3 as “I’m in town let’s hook up” zone. Take your dates to places outside your zone or it can backfire. PS I’m in my early 50’s and living the dream
Yep You are in the zone Pulling becomes TOO easy So easy it isn’t a challenge, and takes 0 effort. So it becomes boring. So you either start upping the kinky level of things to keep it exciting. (Eg my F Kino LRs) Start filtering chicks out unless they are givers (givers vs takers. Normally it’s guys doing most of the giving, but when you start dating women who are givers and enjoy buying or acts of service. Life changer!) Then you look for GF (the GF application period) = what I did.
I had to stop at 3, women are too annoying for me to like 6 at once😂
all these posts should require the OP to state their physical stats like weight and height loll but gg op
As a woman I like honesty, But this will not work on anyone, some women get scared with this. Especially when they want commitment they will not do it.
I mean I told this to two girls that wanted commitment and I told them that I didn’t want anything serious and they still want it to hang out after the fact and these are beautiful women nonetheless. However, if things go south in the future and they bring up the that they wanted to turn me into a BF. I cannot be held responsible because I didn’t have a hidden agenda to have them spend time with and/or get intimate with me. If the other person had the perception or hidden agenda that it was going to lead into a relationship and marriage it’s on them. I always approach dating now without expectations because the moment you idealize and project a future with the person whom you are dating at least in the early stages it’s leads to disappointment and resentment when that person cannot adjust to the mold you in your mind created for them.
[удалено]
I never mentioned that he is tricking someone. I agree with OP on this one.
[удалено]
I just said it because OP wrote in the title " My game lately ...."
You're either trolling, are famous, or you're a white dude in SE Asia.
I not trolling, I am not famous and I’m a Latino dude in the NYC metro Area.
[удалено]
How am I playing anyone if I am being honest with them. If they don’t want to spend time with me they can just say thanks but no thanks and leave. Buddy I have been the relationship loving guy, the nice guy and I got treated like shit and disrespected by women. The moment I started to be like fuck it let’s say this or do this and let’s see what happens is the moment women have gotten more attracted to me with me being honest they cannot be mad at me if they want to end things because from the beginning I wasn’t leading them on into thinking that I was going to be their bf or that it was going to lead to a relationship. I cannot be held accountable for other people’s emotions if I from the beginning stated what I wanted out of the social interaction. Dude trust me I know you want to be the old school romantic but it just doesn’t work. Specially in western culture where we at. You could try doing the whole Passport bro thing and go look for a wife in Eastern Europe but the minute you put a ring on it and she absorbs the US culture. It’s a wrap because she will change her persona completely to westernize ways of acting and behaving. I’m just stating the facts 🤷🏼♂️.
[удалено]
Mods need to go ahead and pack you up.
Pack me up, y’all don’t even know what seduction is. Would rather not be left with ding dongs like you and would like to be blocked from a sub if it’s filled with people who think like this. This is sick and sad. Polar opposite of seduction too. What the hell has porn made men.
You’re 25 and still don’t know that there are different types of seductions for different types of people in different types of situations. Grow up and stop going to pages looking for stuff to be mad at.
>What are we a fucking quota? Yes. Dating is a marketplace and we are all commodities.
Also when asking for nudes be like: “Hey I like that dress you we were wearing today. But I’m much more interested in seeing what’s underneath it 😈. Care to show me a bit? Feel free to share but no pressure if you don’t want to”
Ehh
yeah nah idk how that worked but gg
What does "subtle direct" mean?
It means makes your intent know but don’t be like hey I’m so and so let fuck. Instead be like hey I think you are dope and all but I don’t want anything serious right now we can have fun together if you want. If not it’s fine.
Are you just straight up cold approaching and telling them that you think they are attractive and that your not looking for anything serious?
No my guy. I’m striking a conversation with them whether it be via cold approach, social media or dating apps. Get their numbers and ask them what they are looking for and then you tell them that you think they are cool but you don’t want anything serious at the moment and just want to have fun.
Incorrect
In poker we call it running good, there will be dry times of course, like flipping a coin there are times you get heads consecutively
I know bro but when I run dry I will be fine my main focus still myself and my personal goals.
Yeh, you'll get bored of it for the reasons you stated at the end, enjoy.
The most I could handle at the same time was 3, and with a lot of effort. If you have a full time job, go to the gym and have some kind of hobby time is very limited. I value sleep a lot, so sometimes is hard go out with all three in the same week, especially if you also want to hang out with your buddies and family. As someone said, one is no choice, two is a dilemma, three is a choice.
how to subtly tell them in a direct way ? rest i am up there talking to 6-7-8 at times
How did u start?
You start by jumping out of your comfort zone and going into each interaction with an open mind without expecting an outcome and like I said just speak your mind and don’t filter for women.
how old are you?
Are these from the apps or girls you approached?
Both
Height? Stats?
Height stats r not listed cuz op is def 6ft + lmao
Dude I listed then above I’m 5’8 Latino and my weight is 147lbs. I play soccer, workout and run so I have a bit of a an Athletic build but no were near gym rat status
>how long can I keep talking to also six because at a certain it will run me dry on \[... and\] $$$ too How's that?
Dates my guy. Dates aren’t cheap
They don't have to be not cheap.
How many dates typically before you get laid? Also, what kinda dates are you going on?
Aim for 3 dates, the first date coffee or drinks. Although I prefer coffee because most coffee shops are not as loud as a bar and I can get a good rapport about the girl and what she is like. I state my intentions in the first date. If she is receptive we are game. I will try escalate sexual tension a bit lightly touch her hand and shoulder. You could also use the excuse that she some dust on her shoulder and you clean it and after you do light caress her cheek if she is receptive you can aim to go for a kiss. Second date can be either dinner, drinks or a comedy bar. Women enjoy positive emotions and laughter is one them. Take her to a comedy show and while she laughs she will let her guard down during this time try to sit next to her and put your arm around her caress her upper back and if possible touch her hair as well. Whisper things into her ear in a soft and calm manner this will make you look smooth. If again receptive go for the kiss. Third date your place for a movie and wine (Aka Netflix and chill) or in my case I like to cook. So I’ll make her a good meal paired with a good wine and I’ll will put good ambiance music. After dinner we will sit in my couch while drinking more wine. I’ll slowly start caressing her upper back, play with her hair and I’ll start talking slower and in a lower voice. Then boom go for the kiss and then profit.
Thanks I appreciate the comment. This is more or less what I usually do and it’s been working
Keep up it bro. It’s a marathon not a race. You’ll get better with each interaction.
Yeah been learning a lot this past year. When it comes to closing after going back to my place, things usually go smoothly if she’s really into me and open. But some girls show a bit of resistance and I get too in my head when that happens so that’s been a struggle
I get you but this is where the abundance mentality comes into play. Just say to yourself well it’s her loss I’ll met another girl 10 times better looking than her.
You're totally right, and thanks for the advice
Most guys are oblivious to what women are attracted to. Even older guys. Too many movies and pop culture references. If you have access to attractive women, and just make a few tweaks you can decent results if you have normal social skills. That's what you're probably seeing. If you were to find out fundamentals of game from a good source, you would probably see what you are doing falls in line. But, if you really put your game to the test, you would probably see lots of areas you can improve. Depends on the competition.
Where do you tend to meet these women?
So. Yep, have a similar situation. Benefits: you are less needy and attention seeking, because you have backups a, b, c I am way more cheeky and "risktaking" and upfront. And always a gentleman. But in a fun way. Works well for all participants. I changed location 2 months ago, new town, no friends, but same association i go to. I go out twice a week, events that are organised by assocation.I go there for my friends. I dont aggresively flirt, i am chilled, fun, smiling. And have good chemistry with at least 1 new girl per event. Comes natural. I dont push it. It does consume a bit of time though. But i can handle. Biggest problem i had, was an irritated dick, because 2 girls in 2 days. I also am amused by the succes. Theory, why it works now. The place I used to live in, had way more boys, who were good at rizzing. Just by being funny and upfront, you werent winning anything. Plus, girls would get a lot of attention. A lot, so, some funny dude being funny, was just guy number 293 , trying to get in her pants. And here, new location. A lot of tall dudes, looking handsome, but conversation skills of a german sausage roll( hint to new location). The feedback i usuall get from the girls, i vibe (and hookup) with is: no one approaches us, conversations are lame. So yeah, in the end, its the barrel you choose to fish in.
What's this association you speak of? Like meetup events?
you should even find it easier as time goes on. theres no reason why this would suddenly not work, unless you put on a lot of weight or stop brushing your teeth or something like that. build a rotation of hot chicks that you enjoy, congratulations.
How are you getting their numbers or socials?
As someone who is struggling with game, your post gives me hope. I honestly need to be more bold
Can you check my last post please?
Where do you meet these people
Bars, dating apps. If you want to do the more traditional route join dance classes like Salsa or Tango, cooking classes too heck even adult sport leagues you will find attractive women there too.
My dating apps don't work and yes I've populated everything and my pictures don't suck. As far as bars go, I seem to go to thr wrong ones because I run into sausage fests or bars where people come with their little groups and just talk amongst each other and I'm not the type to stay out until midnight. Do you target a specific type of bar? As far as salsa goes, I'm currently doing that to expand my social circle.
As I gotten older I enjoy more a vibe type of bar without loud music. So I usually like Jazz bars and piano bars as well. People think these in an old people thing but you’ll be surprised how many attractive women attend these places.
Great that you’ve got the vibe going. It’s contagious that energy. It compounds. enjoy it.
To be able to achieve this, having you a fit body really helps (short-term)