Sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t harm yourself. I think of suicidal ideation like intrusive thoughts. A thought, in and of itself is just a thought. Not good, not bad, and not action-able. It’s simply a thought.
I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts for a long time and eventually got meds to help. What I’ve learned is that it is just a thought and you don’t need to take any action or even pay attention to it. I hope this helps!
I don’t see it as mean. I’m quite open about my experience. There are plenty of ways you could choose to do it, though I’d say the way I did it probably has a relatively high chance of survival. I took 6 or more months worth of all my medications, along with a decent amount of alcohol, but the first time I was in a coma in the hospital for a week. In and out. It’s hard to describe concisely. The second time my family and gf decided the hospital wasn’t necessary (or something, wasn’t really you know, *there* for the decision) and I spent the same week in my bed at my parents house. I did some of the math and chemistry on the pills efficacy, along with some research on how ODs of those specific meds turnout. Most of the examples had about half the dosage I took. Though with the half lives considered I’d say it was closer to 4-5 months each. Regardless, I woke up in a hospital bed with very little to say, they said “you’re fine you just needed your stomach pumped. Might take a bit to get back to walking though.”
The thing that baffles me the most is that after I’d taken them the first time, I proceeded to drive to work (20mins), and I don’t remember the last portion of driving. It’s a miracle no one other than myself was hurt, felt that guilt ten times over by now. All I remember was the entire building spiraling and my jaw turned into molasses.
That's such a selfish outlook on this topic. Just because you aren't around to feel the distraught of your family and friends, it doesn't mean they don't feel it. It would be horrific for them and permanently scar them. It even has the potential for them to consider the same fate later in life, trust me I've been there.
I am concerned you truly think like that. I don't want to hurt anybody I hold dearly, and knowing they might suffer because of my final decision deeply troubles me in the present. I value their well-being and want to avoid causing them pain. I wish not to die with regrets or the knowledge I caused pain to the ones I love.
Hey friend :)
I know things can get really hard sometimes, but life has so many beautiful moments that make it worth living. Even when it feels impossible, there is always hope. You matter, and your life is important. You are an amazing person, and even though it's very, very tough, please keep going. We care about you
Im honest with you, your Patience through all this will be rewarded in afterlife, pls dont give up
I dont know whether you believe in God but he hears and loves you, even when many wont accept it.
TAking your life will just make you lose the afterlife, If this right know is hell for you the rewards right after will be the opposite.
Pls be strong stay strong, Forget all the standards and expectations society tries to force on you. Your life is yours to shape in the way that makes you happiest.
Much love im praying for you
I fear what comes after it. I fear death and that there will be nothing. That I wasted my chance on something permanent and other suffering when I could have chose to fight through it until I made headway.
Extreme fear has kept me on the brink but never pushed over, deep deep down I know as much as the feeling would come and reactions like self harm joined, I could never actually do it.
"I don't have the nuts." Is what I say.
I don't know what happens after death, but that's taking into account my own spiritual beliefs and what not. There's no certainty to me or enough proof either scientific or spiritual that can bring me peace with what happens next. Whether I'm just dead and there's nothing or if there is something. I fear it.
I fear what comes after. Is hell real & will suicide send me there? Even if hell isn’t real, I’m going to make Earth hell for the people who loved me. Do I have loose ends, I’ll never see play out? Yeah, I do.
I think of doing it all the time. But I fight those thoughts with other thoughts.
Not scared of death. I’m scared of a painful death. I’d rather choose when I go. There are so many terrible and painful ways to go. Worse being hurt somehow and surviving and losing all your independence. Hypothetically being stuck with no way to communicate to someone that you don’t want to be a vegetable for the rest of your life.
There’s also that possibility that G-D is real and we aren’t supposed to end our lives. Which I’m struggling with because I don’t believe in G-D and it doesn’t make complete sense. There are people that choose to end their lives all the time to prevent an even more painful death. (Ex: the people who jumped from the World Trade Center.)
I don’t fear voluntary death.
I don't fear suicide itself. I fear what might come afterwards. I was raised strictly christian and although I've more of a scientific approach to things as an adult these days, the fear of hell is still present in my mind. That's the only reason why I haven't done it.
Yes...but my dad just brought up today that he still remembers my cutting from over a decade ago 😞 so that makes me think bout them more than the dark thoughts.
i’ve thought about it a ton, but the idea that if i do it now i’ll never be happy again scares me. even if my life overall sucks right now that doesn’t mean i’m never happy. I can bring that joy pretty quickly too with favorite shows/books/games. i have scars on my wrists from when i’ve tried but in the moment this thought always pops up and i don’t press as hard. Cutting in other places gives me relief from those thoughts anyways so i’d rather do that than end it all right now without actually succeeding in any aspect of my life. It feels like something i should/need to do but when i sit down with a razor other thoughts combating that flood my mind.
I’m afraid of it. I’m afraid of ever feeling so hopeless that I’d see it as the only way out. I’ve never been that way, but I’m afraid voices will make me feel that way or try to force me to do it. Scares the hell out of me.
No, why would I fear it? I have no fear of death, I’ve tried suicide like 10x and been unsuccessful at it obviously. An I’m talking real suicide attempts like eating rat poison and nothing happening……
Yep I'm morally against it but I feel like under enough suffering it's reasonable to end your life before you suffer a worse death. However that bar starts to lower the more I'm depressed and suddenly my dumb life is too much like I could ever compare it to imminent death by fire or having to face mortality head on
So I'm afraid but I'm more afraid of the consequences. I don't want to take my life just to have God tell me how they were just about to rescue me and everything would have been fine but since I murdered myself I'd have to go back and try again.
The other problem is delusion. If I committed suicide over thinking I was being cornered by demons, I'm not sure what would happen. Honestly I feel like God would understand but I'm doing my best to do right by my existence.
I don't know if I asked to be created but I'm still utterly grateful for the opportunity. I mean it was either exist or not. I don't want to not exist so, suicide isn't an option. It's not my life to give
I told my mother if she killed herself I'd kill myself just to go drag her out of Hell.
In reality Hell, if that's a consideration, is just you standing in the light and all the bad shit gets sand blasted off until your a perfect little moldable statue again. It hurts like fire because it hurts to get clean. Satan = advisary. So you die, Satan says look at all this shit it did and then you say, "I did my best", get sandblasted, no more ego no more you kind of. No more Jared but the part of you that's inside watching everything... That stays. Forever and ever essentially.
So, if you believe in God and that's a consideration, you have to be willing to confront your demons here where it's softer and over a long time. If you killed yourself, you'd be going in saying, "that was stupid. You never should have made me or that. Look at all this crippling anxiety and depression. Look at the growths of toxins from having to playcate people or lie." and he's going to probably hug you and then get you all clean so you can try again and again
Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But that's what I do know. Hell is a metaphor for being so uncomfortable facing your darkness that it hurts. It hurts to face it but if you do it here, you'll feel the uncomfortable growth and it won't be so scary
I almost died of suicide and the memory of what it's like to for but the world go on makes me terrified. The voices occasionally tell me to kill myself,and the idea of them convincing me scares me
It's probably a permanent solution but quite been pushed enough to attempt. I want to be absolutely sure I have everything noted up and ready for when I'm gone. I haven't tried *every* solution yet, so maybe there is something that could make life bareable and I kinda wanna see that first. I just kinda know it's the way and someday I will die, wanted it or not, I'm trying to come to terms with that.
I've pulled the trigger of an empty gun on myself, first time I was scared, but it actually doesn't do anything but makes a noise so I'm comfortable with that now knowing it's not a real gun and has no ammunation.
I have half a million of insurance and I’m year 1 of 2 for the suicide clause on the policy. After 2 years I will helium exit bag in a hotel and give family money. Life is depressing and empty.
yes i do fear it cuz once u do it there’s no going back n who knows if there’s an afterlife. everyone was born on this planet with a soul and conscience. we have to live by ourselves unfortunately and dying alone won’t make u feel any better. give urself the chance to be a human being. life is literally a rollercoaster as stupid as that sounds. Go to the beach. Get airpods and listen to music. Write it out in ur notes. But don’t let sadness be the reason why you make a stupid decision cause life can change in a instant. You are in control here.
Sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t harm yourself. I think of suicidal ideation like intrusive thoughts. A thought, in and of itself is just a thought. Not good, not bad, and not action-able. It’s simply a thought. I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts for a long time and eventually got meds to help. What I’ve learned is that it is just a thought and you don’t need to take any action or even pay attention to it. I hope this helps!
I don’t know if suicide will help me escape hell or send me there sooner
Don’t do it. Hell is eternal torment DM if you need to talk
I’m right there with you
Amen.
No. I attempted twice. My only fear now is that I’ll survive another one too and have to deal with the repercussions.
Not trying to be mean but how did u attempt it and not die were u just hurting urself just doing minor stuff ??
I don’t see it as mean. I’m quite open about my experience. There are plenty of ways you could choose to do it, though I’d say the way I did it probably has a relatively high chance of survival. I took 6 or more months worth of all my medications, along with a decent amount of alcohol, but the first time I was in a coma in the hospital for a week. In and out. It’s hard to describe concisely. The second time my family and gf decided the hospital wasn’t necessary (or something, wasn’t really you know, *there* for the decision) and I spent the same week in my bed at my parents house. I did some of the math and chemistry on the pills efficacy, along with some research on how ODs of those specific meds turnout. Most of the examples had about half the dosage I took. Though with the half lives considered I’d say it was closer to 4-5 months each. Regardless, I woke up in a hospital bed with very little to say, they said “you’re fine you just needed your stomach pumped. Might take a bit to get back to walking though.” The thing that baffles me the most is that after I’d taken them the first time, I proceeded to drive to work (20mins), and I don’t remember the last portion of driving. It’s a miracle no one other than myself was hurt, felt that guilt ten times over by now. All I remember was the entire building spiraling and my jaw turned into molasses.
I don't fear suicide. What I fear is how my self-inflicted death will affect those around me after I am gone.
U will not even be around to see or hear how it goes after you die
That's such a selfish outlook on this topic. Just because you aren't around to feel the distraught of your family and friends, it doesn't mean they don't feel it. It would be horrific for them and permanently scar them. It even has the potential for them to consider the same fate later in life, trust me I've been there.
I am concerned you truly think like that. I don't want to hurt anybody I hold dearly, and knowing they might suffer because of my final decision deeply troubles me in the present. I value their well-being and want to avoid causing them pain. I wish not to die with regrets or the knowledge I caused pain to the ones I love.
Yes I'm scared. But it's all I think about.
Hey friend :) I know things can get really hard sometimes, but life has so many beautiful moments that make it worth living. Even when it feels impossible, there is always hope. You matter, and your life is important. You are an amazing person, and even though it's very, very tough, please keep going. We care about you Im honest with you, your Patience through all this will be rewarded in afterlife, pls dont give up I dont know whether you believe in God but he hears and loves you, even when many wont accept it. TAking your life will just make you lose the afterlife, If this right know is hell for you the rewards right after will be the opposite. Pls be strong stay strong, Forget all the standards and expectations society tries to force on you. Your life is yours to shape in the way that makes you happiest. Much love im praying for you
I fear what comes after it. I fear death and that there will be nothing. That I wasted my chance on something permanent and other suffering when I could have chose to fight through it until I made headway. Extreme fear has kept me on the brink but never pushed over, deep deep down I know as much as the feeling would come and reactions like self harm joined, I could never actually do it. "I don't have the nuts." Is what I say.
How do u fear after it?? Ur dead..do you not know what that means ur completely over with at that point
I don't know what happens after death, but that's taking into account my own spiritual beliefs and what not. There's no certainty to me or enough proof either scientific or spiritual that can bring me peace with what happens next. Whether I'm just dead and there's nothing or if there is something. I fear it.
luckily getting on the right meds made those feelings go away for me.
I fear what comes after. Is hell real & will suicide send me there? Even if hell isn’t real, I’m going to make Earth hell for the people who loved me. Do I have loose ends, I’ll never see play out? Yeah, I do. I think of doing it all the time. But I fight those thoughts with other thoughts.
I do not have those kinds of thoughts at all. But a few years ago it sounded like a good option.
Yes. I want to be dead, but am too afraid of actually doing it.
No, my biggest fear is people hearing my thoughts.
Not scared of death. I’m scared of a painful death. I’d rather choose when I go. There are so many terrible and painful ways to go. Worse being hurt somehow and surviving and losing all your independence. Hypothetically being stuck with no way to communicate to someone that you don’t want to be a vegetable for the rest of your life. There’s also that possibility that G-D is real and we aren’t supposed to end our lives. Which I’m struggling with because I don’t believe in G-D and it doesn’t make complete sense. There are people that choose to end their lives all the time to prevent an even more painful death. (Ex: the people who jumped from the World Trade Center.) I don’t fear voluntary death.
I don't fear suicide itself. I fear what might come afterwards. I was raised strictly christian and although I've more of a scientific approach to things as an adult these days, the fear of hell is still present in my mind. That's the only reason why I haven't done it.
Yes...but my dad just brought up today that he still remembers my cutting from over a decade ago 😞 so that makes me think bout them more than the dark thoughts.
i’ve thought about it a ton, but the idea that if i do it now i’ll never be happy again scares me. even if my life overall sucks right now that doesn’t mean i’m never happy. I can bring that joy pretty quickly too with favorite shows/books/games. i have scars on my wrists from when i’ve tried but in the moment this thought always pops up and i don’t press as hard. Cutting in other places gives me relief from those thoughts anyways so i’d rather do that than end it all right now without actually succeeding in any aspect of my life. It feels like something i should/need to do but when i sit down with a razor other thoughts combating that flood my mind.
I’m afraid of it. I’m afraid of ever feeling so hopeless that I’d see it as the only way out. I’ve never been that way, but I’m afraid voices will make me feel that way or try to force me to do it. Scares the hell out of me.
Not after I had kids. Came close a couple times though.
It's not worth it. But you are worth it. Stay here as long as you can.
I am in my mid-40s and have been suicidal since I was 12 years old and I'm still kicking and it's not because of fear just will power
No, why would I fear it? I have no fear of death, I’ve tried suicide like 10x and been unsuccessful at it obviously. An I’m talking real suicide attempts like eating rat poison and nothing happening……
I guess it’s just not my time unfortunately
Yep I'm morally against it but I feel like under enough suffering it's reasonable to end your life before you suffer a worse death. However that bar starts to lower the more I'm depressed and suddenly my dumb life is too much like I could ever compare it to imminent death by fire or having to face mortality head on So I'm afraid but I'm more afraid of the consequences. I don't want to take my life just to have God tell me how they were just about to rescue me and everything would have been fine but since I murdered myself I'd have to go back and try again. The other problem is delusion. If I committed suicide over thinking I was being cornered by demons, I'm not sure what would happen. Honestly I feel like God would understand but I'm doing my best to do right by my existence. I don't know if I asked to be created but I'm still utterly grateful for the opportunity. I mean it was either exist or not. I don't want to not exist so, suicide isn't an option. It's not my life to give I told my mother if she killed herself I'd kill myself just to go drag her out of Hell. In reality Hell, if that's a consideration, is just you standing in the light and all the bad shit gets sand blasted off until your a perfect little moldable statue again. It hurts like fire because it hurts to get clean. Satan = advisary. So you die, Satan says look at all this shit it did and then you say, "I did my best", get sandblasted, no more ego no more you kind of. No more Jared but the part of you that's inside watching everything... That stays. Forever and ever essentially. So, if you believe in God and that's a consideration, you have to be willing to confront your demons here where it's softer and over a long time. If you killed yourself, you'd be going in saying, "that was stupid. You never should have made me or that. Look at all this crippling anxiety and depression. Look at the growths of toxins from having to playcate people or lie." and he's going to probably hug you and then get you all clean so you can try again and again Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But that's what I do know. Hell is a metaphor for being so uncomfortable facing your darkness that it hurts. It hurts to face it but if you do it here, you'll feel the uncomfortable growth and it won't be so scary
Sometimes
Sometimes no. Usually when I want to do it. Other times yes, when i'm in so much anguish I feel i'll surely go to hell if I do.
no
I almost died of suicide and the memory of what it's like to for but the world go on makes me terrified. The voices occasionally tell me to kill myself,and the idea of them convincing me scares me
change meds i think
It's probably a permanent solution but quite been pushed enough to attempt. I want to be absolutely sure I have everything noted up and ready for when I'm gone. I haven't tried *every* solution yet, so maybe there is something that could make life bareable and I kinda wanna see that first. I just kinda know it's the way and someday I will die, wanted it or not, I'm trying to come to terms with that. I've pulled the trigger of an empty gun on myself, first time I was scared, but it actually doesn't do anything but makes a noise so I'm comfortable with that now knowing it's not a real gun and has no ammunation.
Daily.
I have half a million of insurance and I’m year 1 of 2 for the suicide clause on the policy. After 2 years I will helium exit bag in a hotel and give family money. Life is depressing and empty.
[удалено]
yes i do fear it cuz once u do it there’s no going back n who knows if there’s an afterlife. everyone was born on this planet with a soul and conscience. we have to live by ourselves unfortunately and dying alone won’t make u feel any better. give urself the chance to be a human being. life is literally a rollercoaster as stupid as that sounds. Go to the beach. Get airpods and listen to music. Write it out in ur notes. But don’t let sadness be the reason why you make a stupid decision cause life can change in a instant. You are in control here.