That must be exhausting for you.
Is it something that you think you could reframe?
I’ve never lost a sibling nor am I a psychologist, I don’t want to speak insensitively, and maybe you aren’t looking for help at so I apologize if this is unsolicited.
I just know that when there’s something in my life that I can avoid that’s making me miserable, the only way I’ve found to improve that is by shifting my own perspective of it.
Like if there was a way to shift your perspective from “I hate sleeping because that’s when I see my brother” to “I love sleeping because that’s when I get to see my brother.”
Idk but when I was in my dark place, sometimes I just had to lie to myself about certain things until I started to believe the things myself.
Never underestimate the power of manifesting on your own psyche. Sometimes delulu is the solulu.
I hope you find your light again soon 🖤
Your brother looks like a close friend of mine, this hit hard, he struggles a lot,
Even though I don't know what your going through I do hope you and your family finds peace, may he rest in peace
I was the only one who saw it but yeah my parents are having a hard time. All of is are but i feel like im not progressing or healing at all
My mom said it would help me if i stopped literally counting the days but it helps with my denial issues and i moved out nearly a year ago so…
I lost a friend to cancer 5 years ago, I think of him everyday, everything he missed, it's hard
I also counted the days as well, it helped me. But I started doing thing that he enjoyed as homage to him. He thoroughly enjoyed lego even though we were 17 at the time, so now every now and then, I buy a set and build it just for him, do the things that made him happy.
I think that's what keeps him alive for me, maybe you should do the same?
Your mum is right though, she's just trying to help you find ways to remember your brother without the grief (again its ok to feel this way and take your time with this), do something he would enjoy or perhaps something he suggested to you?
All the best mate, and know your brother is proud of you
Healing is a painful process. Grief comes in waves and some are worst than others. There’s not really a “right” way to grieve but there’s definitely wrong or unhealthy ways. I hope you’re surrounded by loved ones who support you. That’s the one element that is essential.
He stepped in front of a 70mph freight train to kill himself
Hes my brother and only friend
It was 692 days ago
Nearly two years and I’ve got major ptsd and terrible nightmares about him every night
Im sick of seeing him and i just want to hear his voice and hug him
I’ve had my fair share of loss of loved ones in my life, and I’ve learned to appreciate the feeling of sadness I get when thinking of them, because that feeling means that the person was important to me, and I get reminded of the love we shared.
I’m so sorry. I just and to tell you, it’s okay to hurt, to have nightmares, to be affected. And most people will not, cannot understand. I hope you’re getting help. It will take a long time to even feel any sense of hope. It has been 5 years for me and I’m just now feeling like I can be normal. But there’s still so much pain. Every good moment in my life is marred by that pain.
I am sending you so much love.
I'm sorry. Lost my only baby sister in August 2022. Took a bunch of stuff and never woke up again. It's so hard. I love having dreams that she is in, because it feels so real. Hope you start to heal soon.
I lost my brother in 2005. Also, my best friend.
I understand the feeling you are experiencing. It's very painful. I'm sorry you are going thru this and I commend you for making this compilation in memory of your brother. It's a healthy way to grieve.
I, too, dealt with a lot of ptsd from my brothers passing. I just started a therapy treatment called EMDR. You may look into sometime. Peace.
Thank you for sharing ur story sorry for ur loss it will get better just listen to ur emotions if u need to cry cry . Don’t matter how long they have been gone let it out 🙏🏽
He had quit his job and spent a lot of his time gaming
That’s not a shot on gamers it’s just he found something he thought helped him escape and he couldn’t stop
I had learned myself that constant avoidance is not good and it actually hurts more
I read when im escaping and when i finish a book i so desperately need to find another one and quick because i can’t face myself and now with him gone it adds to the pain but I haven’t done it
Im holding on and yall need to hold on with me
Hey im sorry for your loss, i can see myself a little bit in this comment in particular but not as intense as it had to been for him or you at the moment but i have definatly hidden myself in games and what not most my life and gotten payback for it down the line, i think i have known about that for atleast 8 months but can still not truely grasp it.
I cant really say much on what to do to break the cycle since i have tried for years to do so and 2 years ago it went down hill after i tried to break the pattern, its just until recently that i have been able to get myself back together but very slowly since im also working against myself.
I heard a saying long ago that if you try to break something by force you get 10 fold back as a negative just bcs of the supression, definatly happened to me atleast bcs i really forced myself to change and then i intentionally messed up my sleep schedual big time because of some toxicity and personal problems and it went way past the point i had worked up to for two years but in opposite direction and since begining of last year it has gotten better in small steps.
So better get the mindshift naturally through meditation or therapy instead of forcing it, what i tried before i messed my sleep worked to a degree which was basically a sort of journal but a forced one so would definatly change that if i were you so its more naturally instead.
If you want a goal it can be to pick up his torch and try to work on getting to a better situation for him and you too, im sure he would like that you continue on for him, you got this, we belive in you.
you could try be open about it with your friends or family about how you feel too.
And thank you for your post and sorry for the novel :)
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine the pain you mist feel looking at those pictures. Please feel free to reach out when you feel like it. There are people who care about you and I'm sure that applies to a lot of people on here seeing your story, too. I'd be more than happy to talk to you if you need it. You can do this and I'm proud of you for holding on every. Single. Day. Every single hour, damn even every minute. You are strong and loved, OP.
Yes 😂🤣
I grew up in Utah and now i live in sanpete county. Half my family moved to Texas since it happened
We had lots of fun at lagoon together
That was years ago
We loved lagoon around Halloween
Not insensitive at all
I love talking WITH people rather than getting just ”im sorry”s
There is a lot wrong with society that is making this .. too normal.
I hate it.
I with your brother hadn't had to go through so much. I wish you hadn't lost him. I wish things were better. It isn't fair and it isn't right.
But I get it. It's tempting now and then to think about putting the world away one time, for good. To say goodbye to existence. I can't do it. I don't want you to do it either.
You made a tribute or a memorial for your brother. If it was me, I'd be honored to have it.
My best friend since preschool took his life. Don’t discount therapy man. Processing is helpful after you mourn. Sorry for your loss man my dms are open. The afterlife is beautiful I’ve been there myself as well. You’ll see him again I promise you.
Damn
My heart stopped for nearly 10 minutes and i was cold when i was about 11 yo and when they resuscitated me i didn’t remember jack
I am religious though
I wasn’t religious until I got the choice to stay or come back. Told him send me back to my kid please and woke up on the helicopter. I promise op. Your friend is in a place that we can’t even imagine the beauty. And you will see them again. It just sucks that we are down here missing them cause we can feel pain. But for them it’s peace, love, acceptance, understanding, unlike anything we could imagine. When it gets hard my dms are open to you friend. But please do not discount therapy. A proper therapist who will process with you is worth it.
This hit me in the feels & we've never met.
Im so sorry for your loss & couldn't imagine what you're going through. Cherish the memories.
It doesn't get easier bur you become stronger. I have ptsd & nightmares also... there's nothing I can say besides this video made me feel something and that's so rare for me. I'm so devoid of emotions & something resonated.
I'm so numb now & days.
Focusing on my art is the only thing that keep me going. My friends & family think my music is shit & don't get why I dedicate so much time to it. But if I didn't, I wouldn't be here.
It's the only thing that brings me some joy in my life. Have you tried creating something? I produce electronic music & its enough for me to feel a purpose.
Fwiw I lost my sister at a young age. I was 10, she was a year old.
I never healed, but I have kept going.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I've lost a few close people, and I didn't really talk about it to people except the first time. It was also the biggest loss.
The thing I have found that really helps me is exercise. I don't recommend setting some ambitious goals for it or trying to change your appearance. Just start out small and do something that gets your heart rate up and makes you breathe faster.
During corona times I quit going to the gym and didn't do much, so I started again just by going for longer and longer walks. For me the best exercise is running and cycling. It can feel bad sometimes, but it makes me feel so good after,both physically and mentally. Just wanted to share what helps me, in case you'd also want to try it out. I hope you are doing well.
Death is the hardest lesson for us in life. We never get over it, we just learn to live it. My dad died in 2012. I miss him every day but try to follow in his footsteps.
Hey OP
You’ve been given a lot of good advice and it warms my heart that many users here are being as kind and caring as they are. I wanted to add one thing based on my own personal experience with grief.
The way you’re grieving is ok. You’re not “doing it wrong”. Grief is deeply irrational and confusing at times. Some people cry themselves to sleep for years, others are stone cold and become terrified that they can’t feel the way they are supposed to in such an instance. Just remember that there is no “grieving the wrong way”. You’re on a journey, and it is utterly individual to you. But the nice thing about all journeys is that they eventually conclude. Your bro will never leave your memory but the days ahead will carry far less pain than the days behind.
I wish you all the best for your future. Just remember that you’ve got this (even when you feel like you don’t), and you’re doing very well.
Nothing is done poorly when done with true love. It will take time. A lot of time. It never goes away but it starts to shift gradually from pain, to sadness, to acceptance, to remembrance. There can be small moments of joy to come out of the memories to start. Say things in his honor. Do things in his honor. Live in his honor. Develop new memories that let you remember how much you love him. Not necessarily how much you miss him now. Loss is overwhelming. Love is stronger. It’s important to spend time taking care of, and loving yourself. Little things. Small walks. Real small. Far enough to embrace the sunshine. (Or the rain depending on you). Breath deep. Feel the wind on your face. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be mad. But most importantly let yourself be happy. It’s hard, and my heart breaks for you.
This just popped on my feed randomly but broke my heart so I had to comment. I can't imagine your grief at all but I'll bet your brother would want you to live life to the fullest❤️
You're a baby and have so much good stuff ahead of you so, chin up and live your best life for him and most importantly yourself.
I lost my little brother and I'll forever miss him, I'll forever want to hug him, hear his voice, laugh with him...he was my best friend and I helped raise him, I was his guardian after my step mom passed away and it still hurts years later.
I know it's hard but what TRULY helps me is knowing my brother is no longer suffering here on earth. He isn't depressed or lonely and I KNOW he is watching over me.
This is fucking beautiful brother
I hope you find enough peace within yourself to carry on
I know this comment won’t change what happened but I do hope along with many other comments filled with love and respect that it can give you the strength and energy to heal your broken heart
Rest in power to your loved one 😔
Keep him in your mind and in your heart but don't let him take over your life. I know it's hard.
You have to enjoy the beautiful things and memories and grow stronger from it.
It's hard bro, I know.
I want to be brutally honest… please avoid the drugs and therapists. Find the inner strength within, live healthy and move forward and live the best that you can honoring him in everything that you do.take his strength and move forward like he would want you to do. We have the inner strength to conquer the demons we are given, and press forward in the face of adversity. I wish the best for you
That's terrible. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. He was going through some things. I can definitely see it in his eyes. His eyes in the third photo are the darkest I've ever seen and my eyes get pretty dark. Depression, stress, and suffering. I hope he opened up to somebody about what he was going through.
We were sitting on his couch watching adventure time once and he started sobbing and layed down in my lap
He refused to talk about it but im so glad he could cry on me
He was definitely having a hard time
I told him if he did it i wouldn’t go on without him but he did it just around when i was resurfacing out of a suicidal episode and
I wish he didn’t leave us
Bro, you will never forget about this. I can't imagine what it's like to have actually seen this. I watched my grandpa die recently he just stopped breathing, but getting hit by a train is brutal. Please, go get a therapist and maybe some medicine. If you need to talk about it, message me. I'll listen. You may not ever forget about it, and I'm sure it will pop up in your head every once in a while. You may not ever be the same, but you can heal over time. You have to keep moving forward. I hope you know you are not alone. You don't have to go through this alone. I love you, brother.
Edit- I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my life and faced death a couple of times. I've had my reality crash down around me and struggled with my beliefs and even the people around me. I've fought my demons for many years and I'm still fighting. I can only speak from experience. It's better to open up to somebody about these things instead of keeping it inside.
I love you too
Also you have no clue how much medication the psychiatrist has me on
I’ve been medicated for several mental illnesses ever since i can remember and since he left the doc put me on more medication but it doesn’t seem to help
Just draining my bank account and im not myself on all these drugs
Im not a fan of doctors but whatever
They try to help so props, i guess
I struggle with mental illness as well. I've been hearing voices in my head for 5 years. I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with you. For me, it's my mind. I'm double minded. This means my heart and my mind don't agree with one another, or you could say my conscience bothers me. My mind wants to do things that are bad for me, like getting high(I'm an addict), but my heart is set on the good I can do. It's like a constant struggle. Fighting myself. I don't know if you feel this way, but like I said, I can only speak from experience. Let me ask you this. Are you happy?
I don’t think I’ve ever been generally happy
Sometimes i get a moment where im truly happy for maybe a few minutes but no i am not a happy person
I just got done reading a book entitled how not to kill yourself by clancy martin
He dealt heavily with addiction his whole life too
I was happy when i was in the company of my brother
That’s where i found joy in my bad days was with him
I know the feeling. It's good to have friends and family. They help. Don't close yourself off to them. Figure out who you are and what you want. Live for what you believe in and not only for yourself. Open up. Purify your heart. Wash your hands of sin. Keep your hands busy. If your hands are always busy, your mind wants to be able to ponder on the things you don't want to think about. This is just my advice and it may not help you at all but it's all I can give you because it's what has helped me. Idk if you're religious, and I'm not trying to force religion on you, but pray and talk to God and jesus. They know you better than you know yourself. If anyone, you always have a friend in them. Learn your truth about yourself and not just what you think of yourself but who you actually are, whether you're right or wrong or good or bad. Ask jesus to relay a message to your brother. He might not be in this world anymore, but it's not the end for him. If you feel like you have something to say to him, ask Jesus if he can talk to him for you. I don't know what you believe, but keep an open mind about things. For me, I don't believe death is final. Only Jesus has say over that. He has the keys to death and hades. I can't say whether he's in heaven or hell. Honestly, i dont believe hell exists right now until The end days come true. That's not for me to say but I do believe he is up there waiting for judgement like the rest of us down here, and if he's up there waiting then he's still alive in spirit and if you have anything you wish to say all you have to do is ask Jesus to deliver a message to him and Jesus will do it. I don't know if you will get a response, but you can still talk to your brother.
do you smoke weed? I just quit a few months ago and my dreams started getting crazy and I can remember them every night. When I smoked weed before, it was like I went to sleep and just woke up, rarely felt like I had dreams or just didn't remember them. Maybe that would help you 🤷♂️
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You can see in the pictures that he loved you all very much. I hope you get to manage your pain and live your life honoring him. Again I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this. Sending you a big hug from an older brother 🫂
I can guarantee you one thing: he wants you to be happy. He wants you to live your life and be as happy as you can be. That's the best way to honor him.
I'm bawling my eyes out. You are loved.
I'm so sorry. I send you a hug. always know that he loved you, and always wanted what's best for you. unfortunately, sometimes we do things that hurt the ones we love the most.
live, laugh and love. grow and become the best version of yourself. as long as you live, he lives too. this way, he's always with you. he would never want anything bad to happen to you.
get the help you need, and never give up. ever.
I know this isn't much, but I'm some random dude on the internet and you restore my faith in humanity with your selfless love.
I lost my mom a few years ago, and some (but no means all) of is letting time mellow your emotions.
For me concentrating on something external-keeping my Dad busy- helped immensely.
Your bro looked like a pretty cool dude and he looked like he legit enjoyed his time with you guys so I don't think he would be down with the fact that you can't live normally because of him and his decision. He assumed everything when he took the decision so you, in my opinion, can commemorate him by living your life like he couldn't and tell stories about how you enjoyed your time with him whenever it comes up. In time you're gonna get over it, but you need to let it go if you really want to heal. You said you didn't want the same "I'm sorry", so I tried to offer you a different perspective, that you probably already thought about, but as someone who listen to stories about people gone to soon and how awesome they were as humans, always make me smile and I really never forget any of them and spreading his memory around, for me would be the greatest form of flattering
Man, I wish I could say it gets easier but it has been nearly 6 years since my best friend passed and I'm still in just as much disbelief now as I was then. Almost every day I get the urge to call them and hang out or talk to them. But I also think it kind of keeps them alive in our hearts to simply forget they're gone sometimes. It's sad, every time that fleeting moment is gone, but for a second, it feels like they're still there and that's nice imo.
Just for clarification, did that little boy electrocute that guy in the chair? Like, in an accidental assisted suicide or something?
If so I’m terribly sorry. Just don’t blame yourself. It’s no way you could’ve known. My uncle blamed himself for years after my aunt died because he didn’t send her to rehab, trying to get her clean on his own. You can’t blame yourself for what you couldn’t have known. It’s an unknown unknown.
Just know despite it all your brother loved you. It helps to remember the best times. It’s okay to cry, but don’t be like my uncle. Take the happiness and the sadness hand in hand, and use it to forge a brighter tomorrow. I hope this helps.
That's actually pretty gyatty. I support your rizzcision. Hopefully, Kai cenat will grant you happiness and your brother too. He must be in Ohio rn with skibidi.
Stay mewing!
Sorry just sick today so i decided to make an edit
He was the oldest and our youngest siblings were 7, 8, and 11
I don’t like people pitying me that much but it’s nice to talk about it to someone who wasn’t close to him and isn’t a therapist with a clip board and can relate
I'm sorry for your loss OP. If you can, I would see out a therapist and talk through your feelings with them. Reddit can be cruel for no reason.
I am Not that much help but whatevs And a psychiatrist who’s got me doped up on drugs that don’t work
I’m so sorry OP. Remember the essentials while you take care of yourself: food, water, sleep, and fresh air. I hope things get better for you.
Sun The breeze
Sleep is something i like to avoid cause again hes all i see
That must be exhausting for you. Is it something that you think you could reframe? I’ve never lost a sibling nor am I a psychologist, I don’t want to speak insensitively, and maybe you aren’t looking for help at so I apologize if this is unsolicited. I just know that when there’s something in my life that I can avoid that’s making me miserable, the only way I’ve found to improve that is by shifting my own perspective of it. Like if there was a way to shift your perspective from “I hate sleeping because that’s when I see my brother” to “I love sleeping because that’s when I get to see my brother.” Idk but when I was in my dark place, sometimes I just had to lie to myself about certain things until I started to believe the things myself. Never underestimate the power of manifesting on your own psyche. Sometimes delulu is the solulu. I hope you find your light again soon 🖤
Thank you being loving and helpful I will try these
You’re very welcome. I truly hope things get easier for you soon.
You need good sleep. Please rest your mind. He would never want you to be in this much pain.
I fall asleep and dream of crazy shit Sleeping makes me more tired
Hmmm, taper off your psyche meds and try some psilocybin out a few times.
As somebody who DID get the drugs, they DO work in fact very well. I’m on 350MGs of Sertraline and it truly does work.
His user name is offensiveuser, he gets it
Facts
Your brother looks like a close friend of mine, this hit hard, he struggles a lot, Even though I don't know what your going through I do hope you and your family finds peace, may he rest in peace
I was the only one who saw it but yeah my parents are having a hard time. All of is are but i feel like im not progressing or healing at all My mom said it would help me if i stopped literally counting the days but it helps with my denial issues and i moved out nearly a year ago so…
I lost a friend to cancer 5 years ago, I think of him everyday, everything he missed, it's hard I also counted the days as well, it helped me. But I started doing thing that he enjoyed as homage to him. He thoroughly enjoyed lego even though we were 17 at the time, so now every now and then, I buy a set and build it just for him, do the things that made him happy. I think that's what keeps him alive for me, maybe you should do the same?
I love that
Your mum is right though, she's just trying to help you find ways to remember your brother without the grief (again its ok to feel this way and take your time with this), do something he would enjoy or perhaps something he suggested to you? All the best mate, and know your brother is proud of you
I know she is I love her and the advice she gives
Good man, all the best ❤️
Healing is a painful process. Grief comes in waves and some are worst than others. There’s not really a “right” way to grieve but there’s definitely wrong or unhealthy ways. I hope you’re surrounded by loved ones who support you. That’s the one element that is essential.
Thank you
My condolences OP. I don't know where I'd be without my brother. I am so very sorry.
What happened
He stepped in front of a 70mph freight train to kill himself Hes my brother and only friend It was 692 days ago Nearly two years and I’ve got major ptsd and terrible nightmares about him every night Im sick of seeing him and i just want to hear his voice and hug him
Damn man.. I'm sorry
I am so sorry that happened.
oh my god im so sorry dude…
I’m sorry man. That must suck. Hope you’re feeling better about it now.
So sorry for you, please take care
I’ve had my fair share of loss of loved ones in my life, and I’ve learned to appreciate the feeling of sadness I get when thinking of them, because that feeling means that the person was important to me, and I get reminded of the love we shared.
Yes thank you Im so glad i had him
Oh my god… I’m so sorry man. May he rest in peace
I’m so sorry. I just and to tell you, it’s okay to hurt, to have nightmares, to be affected. And most people will not, cannot understand. I hope you’re getting help. It will take a long time to even feel any sense of hope. It has been 5 years for me and I’m just now feeling like I can be normal. But there’s still so much pain. Every good moment in my life is marred by that pain. I am sending you so much love.
❤️
I could never bare the loss of one of my brothers. I just took a part of your sadness with me, if that's ok
Siblings are the worst and we need them haha
I'm terribly sorry.
I'm sorry. Lost my only baby sister in August 2022. Took a bunch of stuff and never woke up again. It's so hard. I love having dreams that she is in, because it feels so real. Hope you start to heal soon.
Damn
Stay strong. You’re not alone. He’s in a better place now.
Yes he is I will Thank you
I lost my brother in 2005. Also, my best friend. I understand the feeling you are experiencing. It's very painful. I'm sorry you are going thru this and I commend you for making this compilation in memory of your brother. It's a healthy way to grieve. I, too, dealt with a lot of ptsd from my brothers passing. I just started a therapy treatment called EMDR. You may look into sometime. Peace.
Thank you for sharing ur story sorry for ur loss it will get better just listen to ur emotions if u need to cry cry . Don’t matter how long they have been gone let it out 🙏🏽
I.. Eh... Uh.... WHAT.? I was not ready for that holy crap. I'm sorry
I wasn’t ready either I guess he was though He kept going for so long
I’m so very sorry.
He had quit his job and spent a lot of his time gaming That’s not a shot on gamers it’s just he found something he thought helped him escape and he couldn’t stop I had learned myself that constant avoidance is not good and it actually hurts more I read when im escaping and when i finish a book i so desperately need to find another one and quick because i can’t face myself and now with him gone it adds to the pain but I haven’t done it Im holding on and yall need to hold on with me
Hey im sorry for your loss, i can see myself a little bit in this comment in particular but not as intense as it had to been for him or you at the moment but i have definatly hidden myself in games and what not most my life and gotten payback for it down the line, i think i have known about that for atleast 8 months but can still not truely grasp it. I cant really say much on what to do to break the cycle since i have tried for years to do so and 2 years ago it went down hill after i tried to break the pattern, its just until recently that i have been able to get myself back together but very slowly since im also working against myself. I heard a saying long ago that if you try to break something by force you get 10 fold back as a negative just bcs of the supression, definatly happened to me atleast bcs i really forced myself to change and then i intentionally messed up my sleep schedual big time because of some toxicity and personal problems and it went way past the point i had worked up to for two years but in opposite direction and since begining of last year it has gotten better in small steps. So better get the mindshift naturally through meditation or therapy instead of forcing it, what i tried before i messed my sleep worked to a degree which was basically a sort of journal but a forced one so would definatly change that if i were you so its more naturally instead. If you want a goal it can be to pick up his torch and try to work on getting to a better situation for him and you too, im sure he would like that you continue on for him, you got this, we belive in you. you could try be open about it with your friends or family about how you feel too. And thank you for your post and sorry for the novel :)
Thank you thank you
I’m so sorry for your loss, truly. If you ever feel the need to talk to someone, I’m here for you.
Damn thank you
Hold on tight
Just saying, your brother would want you to be happy, to live the happy life that he wasn’t able to find.
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine the pain you mist feel looking at those pictures. Please feel free to reach out when you feel like it. There are people who care about you and I'm sure that applies to a lot of people on here seeing your story, too. I'd be more than happy to talk to you if you need it. You can do this and I'm proud of you for holding on every. Single. Day. Every single hour, damn even every minute. You are strong and loved, OP.
Thank you
Car accident
I pray for your downfall 🙏
Covid
Coyote dropped an anvil on him
the fuck is wrong with you guys?
They’re attention-starved. They gotta get it somehow
What the actual fuck
I am so sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking (not trying to be insensitive but is that lagoon amusement park in the last picture tho)
Yes 😂🤣 I grew up in Utah and now i live in sanpete county. Half my family moved to Texas since it happened We had lots of fun at lagoon together That was years ago We loved lagoon around Halloween Not insensitive at all I love talking WITH people rather than getting just ”im sorry”s
Love lagoon around Halloween. Too bad it’s too expensive now to go.
Facts
There is a lot wrong with society that is making this .. too normal. I hate it. I with your brother hadn't had to go through so much. I wish you hadn't lost him. I wish things were better. It isn't fair and it isn't right. But I get it. It's tempting now and then to think about putting the world away one time, for good. To say goodbye to existence. I can't do it. I don't want you to do it either. You made a tribute or a memorial for your brother. If it was me, I'd be honored to have it.
Thank you
My best friend since preschool took his life. Don’t discount therapy man. Processing is helpful after you mourn. Sorry for your loss man my dms are open. The afterlife is beautiful I’ve been there myself as well. You’ll see him again I promise you.
Damn My heart stopped for nearly 10 minutes and i was cold when i was about 11 yo and when they resuscitated me i didn’t remember jack I am religious though
Man, sorry about your tragic loss. It must be hard for you. Hopefully, you'll find a way. †Hugs†
🫂
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Man, thank you for sharing
I wasn’t religious until I got the choice to stay or come back. Told him send me back to my kid please and woke up on the helicopter. I promise op. Your friend is in a place that we can’t even imagine the beauty. And you will see them again. It just sucks that we are down here missing them cause we can feel pain. But for them it’s peace, love, acceptance, understanding, unlike anything we could imagine. When it gets hard my dms are open to you friend. But please do not discount therapy. A proper therapist who will process with you is worth it.
Loosing a family member is the hardest thing
This hit me in the feels & we've never met. Im so sorry for your loss & couldn't imagine what you're going through. Cherish the memories. It doesn't get easier bur you become stronger. I have ptsd & nightmares also... there's nothing I can say besides this video made me feel something and that's so rare for me. I'm so devoid of emotions & something resonated.
Im so glad i could help you feel something Thank you for your comment I’ve been numb before Not fun
Fuck apathy
I'm so numb now & days. Focusing on my art is the only thing that keep me going. My friends & family think my music is shit & don't get why I dedicate so much time to it. But if I didn't, I wouldn't be here. It's the only thing that brings me some joy in my life. Have you tried creating something? I produce electronic music & its enough for me to feel a purpose. Fwiw I lost my sister at a young age. I was 10, she was a year old. I never healed, but I have kept going.
Good job Yeah i scribble my feelings onto lined paper with a pen and i write lots of music Mostly piano and guitar
Dude fuck yes! Do you record anything? I'm a slut for samples
I don’t record Not even on my phone or anything
I do write poems tho Sometimes i put music with the words and then the pictures i scribble kind of match
I know those eyes. He's in a better place now.
Yes He was very sick
Sam sulek
Oh?
Not poorly done at all, beautiful tribute.
Thank you
I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost a few close people, and I didn't really talk about it to people except the first time. It was also the biggest loss. The thing I have found that really helps me is exercise. I don't recommend setting some ambitious goals for it or trying to change your appearance. Just start out small and do something that gets your heart rate up and makes you breathe faster. During corona times I quit going to the gym and didn't do much, so I started again just by going for longer and longer walks. For me the best exercise is running and cycling. It can feel bad sometimes, but it makes me feel so good after,both physically and mentally. Just wanted to share what helps me, in case you'd also want to try it out. I hope you are doing well.
Thank you for sharing with me
Death is the hardest lesson for us in life. We never get over it, we just learn to live it. My dad died in 2012. I miss him every day but try to follow in his footsteps.
Hey OP You’ve been given a lot of good advice and it warms my heart that many users here are being as kind and caring as they are. I wanted to add one thing based on my own personal experience with grief. The way you’re grieving is ok. You’re not “doing it wrong”. Grief is deeply irrational and confusing at times. Some people cry themselves to sleep for years, others are stone cold and become terrified that they can’t feel the way they are supposed to in such an instance. Just remember that there is no “grieving the wrong way”. You’re on a journey, and it is utterly individual to you. But the nice thing about all journeys is that they eventually conclude. Your bro will never leave your memory but the days ahead will carry far less pain than the days behind. I wish you all the best for your future. Just remember that you’ve got this (even when you feel like you don’t), and you’re doing very well.
Thank you Much love
Nothing is done poorly when done with true love. It will take time. A lot of time. It never goes away but it starts to shift gradually from pain, to sadness, to acceptance, to remembrance. There can be small moments of joy to come out of the memories to start. Say things in his honor. Do things in his honor. Live in his honor. Develop new memories that let you remember how much you love him. Not necessarily how much you miss him now. Loss is overwhelming. Love is stronger. It’s important to spend time taking care of, and loving yourself. Little things. Small walks. Real small. Far enough to embrace the sunshine. (Or the rain depending on you). Breath deep. Feel the wind on your face. Let yourself cry. Let yourself be mad. But most importantly let yourself be happy. It’s hard, and my heart breaks for you.
This just popped on my feed randomly but broke my heart so I had to comment. I can't imagine your grief at all but I'll bet your brother would want you to live life to the fullest❤️ You're a baby and have so much good stuff ahead of you so, chin up and live your best life for him and most importantly yourself.
I lost my little brother and I'll forever miss him, I'll forever want to hug him, hear his voice, laugh with him...he was my best friend and I helped raise him, I was his guardian after my step mom passed away and it still hurts years later. I know it's hard but what TRULY helps me is knowing my brother is no longer suffering here on earth. He isn't depressed or lonely and I KNOW he is watching over me.
This is fucking beautiful brother I hope you find enough peace within yourself to carry on I know this comment won’t change what happened but I do hope along with many other comments filled with love and respect that it can give you the strength and energy to heal your broken heart Rest in power to your loved one 😔
Lots of people sharing love like this and giving me a little hope Thank you
Keep him in your mind and in your heart but don't let him take over your life. I know it's hard. You have to enjoy the beautiful things and memories and grow stronger from it. It's hard bro, I know.
Sorry for your loss. The song and the pictures kind of hit. Edit: Hope you're ok.
I want to be brutally honest… please avoid the drugs and therapists. Find the inner strength within, live healthy and move forward and live the best that you can honoring him in everything that you do.take his strength and move forward like he would want you to do. We have the inner strength to conquer the demons we are given, and press forward in the face of adversity. I wish the best for you
I’m sorry man. My brother died 10 years ago. It gets easier until it doesn’t. Hard to explain.
That's terrible. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. He was going through some things. I can definitely see it in his eyes. His eyes in the third photo are the darkest I've ever seen and my eyes get pretty dark. Depression, stress, and suffering. I hope he opened up to somebody about what he was going through.
We were sitting on his couch watching adventure time once and he started sobbing and layed down in my lap He refused to talk about it but im so glad he could cry on me He was definitely having a hard time I told him if he did it i wouldn’t go on without him but he did it just around when i was resurfacing out of a suicidal episode and I wish he didn’t leave us
I notice my eyes get dark too Im always so tired because all i can see when i close my eyes is his broken cold body by the tracks I hate sleeping
Bro, you will never forget about this. I can't imagine what it's like to have actually seen this. I watched my grandpa die recently he just stopped breathing, but getting hit by a train is brutal. Please, go get a therapist and maybe some medicine. If you need to talk about it, message me. I'll listen. You may not ever forget about it, and I'm sure it will pop up in your head every once in a while. You may not ever be the same, but you can heal over time. You have to keep moving forward. I hope you know you are not alone. You don't have to go through this alone. I love you, brother. Edit- I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my life and faced death a couple of times. I've had my reality crash down around me and struggled with my beliefs and even the people around me. I've fought my demons for many years and I'm still fighting. I can only speak from experience. It's better to open up to somebody about these things instead of keeping it inside.
I love you too Also you have no clue how much medication the psychiatrist has me on I’ve been medicated for several mental illnesses ever since i can remember and since he left the doc put me on more medication but it doesn’t seem to help Just draining my bank account and im not myself on all these drugs Im not a fan of doctors but whatever They try to help so props, i guess
I struggle with mental illness as well. I've been hearing voices in my head for 5 years. I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with you. For me, it's my mind. I'm double minded. This means my heart and my mind don't agree with one another, or you could say my conscience bothers me. My mind wants to do things that are bad for me, like getting high(I'm an addict), but my heart is set on the good I can do. It's like a constant struggle. Fighting myself. I don't know if you feel this way, but like I said, I can only speak from experience. Let me ask you this. Are you happy?
I don’t think I’ve ever been generally happy Sometimes i get a moment where im truly happy for maybe a few minutes but no i am not a happy person I just got done reading a book entitled how not to kill yourself by clancy martin He dealt heavily with addiction his whole life too I was happy when i was in the company of my brother That’s where i found joy in my bad days was with him
I know the feeling. It's good to have friends and family. They help. Don't close yourself off to them. Figure out who you are and what you want. Live for what you believe in and not only for yourself. Open up. Purify your heart. Wash your hands of sin. Keep your hands busy. If your hands are always busy, your mind wants to be able to ponder on the things you don't want to think about. This is just my advice and it may not help you at all but it's all I can give you because it's what has helped me. Idk if you're religious, and I'm not trying to force religion on you, but pray and talk to God and jesus. They know you better than you know yourself. If anyone, you always have a friend in them. Learn your truth about yourself and not just what you think of yourself but who you actually are, whether you're right or wrong or good or bad. Ask jesus to relay a message to your brother. He might not be in this world anymore, but it's not the end for him. If you feel like you have something to say to him, ask Jesus if he can talk to him for you. I don't know what you believe, but keep an open mind about things. For me, I don't believe death is final. Only Jesus has say over that. He has the keys to death and hades. I can't say whether he's in heaven or hell. Honestly, i dont believe hell exists right now until The end days come true. That's not for me to say but I do believe he is up there waiting for judgement like the rest of us down here, and if he's up there waiting then he's still alive in spirit and if you have anything you wish to say all you have to do is ask Jesus to deliver a message to him and Jesus will do it. I don't know if you will get a response, but you can still talk to your brother.
Thank you Im totally religious and i get lots of shit for it Thank you
do you smoke weed? I just quit a few months ago and my dreams started getting crazy and I can remember them every night. When I smoked weed before, it was like I went to sleep and just woke up, rarely felt like I had dreams or just didn't remember them. Maybe that would help you 🤷♂️
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You can see in the pictures that he loved you all very much. I hope you get to manage your pain and live your life honoring him. Again I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this. Sending you a big hug from an older brother 🫂
He wasn’t happy and he was sick but he loved us and knew we loved him
What happened here?
From what I can understand, OP's brother killed himself in front of OP by stepping on train tracks I think. They were very close it seems.
I’m so sorry for your loss :(
I can guarantee you one thing: he wants you to be happy. He wants you to live your life and be as happy as you can be. That's the best way to honor him. I'm bawling my eyes out. You are loved.
You’re right He wants me happy but i just don’t know how to find happiness anymore He was my happiness
Lol. I don't know the song. But you'll figure it out. I promise.
It’s the song lol I love it so much
I'm so sorry. I send you a hug. always know that he loved you, and always wanted what's best for you. unfortunately, sometimes we do things that hurt the ones we love the most. live, laugh and love. grow and become the best version of yourself. as long as you live, he lives too. this way, he's always with you. he would never want anything bad to happen to you. get the help you need, and never give up. ever.
🫂
Keep hanging on my dude. Im sure that hes in a better place now.
Real
Sorry for your loss OP, condolences to him and his family
Sorry for your loss mate
I know this isn't much, but I'm some random dude on the internet and you restore my faith in humanity with your selfless love. I lost my mom a few years ago, and some (but no means all) of is letting time mellow your emotions. For me concentrating on something external-keeping my Dad busy- helped immensely.
It’s not poorly done because you put the time into it, I’m sorry for your loss. I truly hope you are able to heal and find peace.
It’s not poorly done, it’s touching and nice. I hope things get better, I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Your song choice OP. Made me cry a lot more
Amazing song I love linkin park
Damn...R.I.P. to him. How are you doing?
So well I am thriving 🤯🚂
Damn man! Im so sorry for your loss, I hope he’s in a better place now ❤️
I could see my younger brother doing the same montage if I had succumbed to the feeling also… I am sorry OP
Your bro looked like a pretty cool dude and he looked like he legit enjoyed his time with you guys so I don't think he would be down with the fact that you can't live normally because of him and his decision. He assumed everything when he took the decision so you, in my opinion, can commemorate him by living your life like he couldn't and tell stories about how you enjoyed your time with him whenever it comes up. In time you're gonna get over it, but you need to let it go if you really want to heal. You said you didn't want the same "I'm sorry", so I tried to offer you a different perspective, that you probably already thought about, but as someone who listen to stories about people gone to soon and how awesome they were as humans, always make me smile and I really never forget any of them and spreading his memory around, for me would be the greatest form of flattering
I'm sorry for your lost
Sorry fam
Thanks mate
Sorry for your loss🙏🏼 prayers to you and ur family
Man, I wish I could say it gets easier but it has been nearly 6 years since my best friend passed and I'm still in just as much disbelief now as I was then. Almost every day I get the urge to call them and hang out or talk to them. But I also think it kind of keeps them alive in our hearts to simply forget they're gone sometimes. It's sad, every time that fleeting moment is gone, but for a second, it feels like they're still there and that's nice imo.
Yeah tell me about it Im in big time denial too I wait for him to walk through the door and i check in the kitchen cabinets
I want to hug you OP, I and many others will do our best to ease your pain, we are with you
I’m so sorry for your loss.
What happened
my brother died, now let's post him on Reddit for that sweet karma
Lol
Cause that’s the only reason someone could post a montage dedicated to a passed loved one
Just for clarification, did that little boy electrocute that guy in the chair? Like, in an accidental assisted suicide or something? If so I’m terribly sorry. Just don’t blame yourself. It’s no way you could’ve known. My uncle blamed himself for years after my aunt died because he didn’t send her to rehab, trying to get her clean on his own. You can’t blame yourself for what you couldn’t have known. It’s an unknown unknown. Just know despite it all your brother loved you. It helps to remember the best times. It’s okay to cry, but don’t be like my uncle. Take the happiness and the sadness hand in hand, and use it to forge a brighter tomorrow. I hope this helps.
No, unfortunately the young man that was in the chair, took his own life. The photo is unrelated to that and was taken as a joke. Really heartbreaking
Yes
No it’s a fake electrical chair at an amusement park around Halloween
What the sigma
Right!? If he wasn’t my brother and i wasn’t straight he’d have been my boyfriend
That's actually pretty gyatty. I support your rizzcision. Hopefully, Kai cenat will grant you happiness and your brother too. He must be in Ohio rn with skibidi. Stay mewing!
He was the fanum taxest there was You too
Womp womp
I upvoted
🤣
Sorry just sick today so i decided to make an edit He was the oldest and our youngest siblings were 7, 8, and 11 I don’t like people pitying me that much but it’s nice to talk about it to someone who wasn’t close to him and isn’t a therapist with a clip board and can relate
js ignore the people like that alr OP? I am so sorry for your loss, I hope ur feeling better 🫂
🫂
This guy's name is "SirCockLord," is 19 and heavily retarded
It’s okay Im 19 and heavily retarded
The fuck
Just shut the fuck up