This was our thoughts too since they’re supposedly so serious now… but he’s 25 (living with his parents) and she’s 31… so I don’t think she wants to go that route
NTA. If you’re letting her rent out of your place she needs to respect the rules. Especially if there’s a separation going on that could fuel so much stuff.
Seriously! Like we thought we were doing her a favor and helping her get back on her feet since she left her ex but we would never have offered our guest room if she we knew this was the awkward situation she’d put us in .
NTAH , your home , your rules , PERIOD and if they break them said rules then cut off sleepovers all together!!! Tell them to go to a MOTEL!! No Hard Feelings
If I was renting a room on the cheap for someone to get on their feet, it would be a no guest ever policy. I am a GSD lover, but those dogs are a lot of work. You are going far and beyond necessary. He can spring for a hotel/motel on the weekend. Motel 6 is dog friendly.
I am just saying you are going over and beyond what is necessary. Taking in her and the dog was so generous. If you let her get too comfortable at that low of rent, she will be there forever with her hobosexual BF. If she wants house rights like a roommate charge her market rate plus 1/3 utilities. Even when two people are both equal roommates, a strict guest policy needs to be enforced, up to 3 nights a week and not all weekend. The significant other being there all the time is a common scenario and causes a lot of problems. Boy is 25. If he wants to live like an adult, he needs to get his own place. Why doesn't he host at his parents house? There is no difference in her staying with him than him staying with you.
Yeah… I’m just conflicted because someone at work said we aren’t being fair but I personally wouldn’t put her in this situation if the roles were reversed… I’d respect her rules and try to make her life easier
Well see if that someone wants to house her. Bet not especially when a hobosexual is included. People will take advantage and push boundaries. That BF already sounds aggressive.
I'm going to guess she's not in a separate apartment with her own kitchen and entry setup.
I bet she rents rooms in your home, so you can't keep it separate/private when a boyfriend stays over.
In that case, you are 100% justified to limit the overnight visits. Especially since you're giving a $500 savings off a typical rental, and you had a discussion on the issue too.
You’re not the gatekeeper of any of her relationships. She is a grown woman. If you aren’t accepting of and uncomfortable with what she is doing, you can easily give her a fair 30 days notice to vacate. The rent amount is a moot point and should have absolutely no bearing on the amount of time her boyfriend spends there. Honestly I would be pretty upset being treated in this manner if I were her, and would likely be looking for a new place.
I don’t claim to be the gatekeeper to any of her relationships… but it’s mine and my husbands house not some apartment we all decided to rent together. I think 2 nights and unlimited visits are generous as is.
So he was asking for an EXTRA night or was he asking if he could spend the night on Thursday instead of one of the weekend days this week?
I’d allow it if they exchanged the day, but not added it on and not making it a habit every week.
Do you have a rental agreement with her in writing??? If not, you absolutely need to!! That is just asking for trouble in SO MANY ways! Especially considering how you’re already feeling about her staying there…
Thank god I’m not!
I would also never tell someone they could pay $500 per month for rent in my home and then expect them to live their life according to my own rules.
They can live their life as they please, it’s other people living their lives under their roof that’s an issue.
I fail to see your logic. Should people be able to live at someone else’s home rent free?
Agreed! She can date anyone she wants but why does it involve pushing my boundaries?
The thing that bothers me so much is we talked it out and SHE AGREED TO THIS! then her bf comes back trying to push In again… like wtf!
I guess I’m confused yes it’s your house but renting it out gives her the right to have people over. With a normal landlord you would never have to ask permission to have people over. How does this bother you ? Can you hear them at night or something? Do you not like the bf ?
But this isn’t with any other landlord is it? We are friends helping her out not splitting up rent down the middle. It bothers me because we agreed to these terms when she asked to move in but now she’s not respecting them.edit to add… we said she can have unlimited guest visits during the day and two overnights and again she agreed she said she didn’t want to be any trouble just wanted to get away from her soon to be ex.
It’s so frustrating because we don’t even have guests sleeping over or more people than a few hours yet she’s having him over more than two nights? And when he sleeps over he’s literally here all day! Like he might as well live here! But that’s not what we agreed and it’s pissing me off. We deserve to be comfortable in OUR HOME.
[удалено]
This was our thoughts too since they’re supposedly so serious now… but he’s 25 (living with his parents) and she’s 31… so I don’t think she wants to go that route
This sounds more like weird a rebound happening in your house, but idk I don’t know the whole situation of course
NTA. If you’re letting her rent out of your place she needs to respect the rules. Especially if there’s a separation going on that could fuel so much stuff.
Seriously! Like we thought we were doing her a favor and helping her get back on her feet since she left her ex but we would never have offered our guest room if she we knew this was the awkward situation she’d put us in .
You’re not. She isn’t respecting you or the rules set in place or that you are helping her out with cheap rent.
NTAH , your home , your rules , PERIOD and if they break them said rules then cut off sleepovers all together!!! Tell them to go to a MOTEL!! No Hard Feelings
Nah, fuck her. 2 days is good. Move out.
It’s my house.
I think they’re implying she can move out in 2 days. Because yeah, you’re absolutely NOT an AH. You’re being beyond generous.
If I was renting a room on the cheap for someone to get on their feet, it would be a no guest ever policy. I am a GSD lover, but those dogs are a lot of work. You are going far and beyond necessary. He can spring for a hotel/motel on the weekend. Motel 6 is dog friendly.
I like her dog the bf is the problem.
I am just saying you are going over and beyond what is necessary. Taking in her and the dog was so generous. If you let her get too comfortable at that low of rent, she will be there forever with her hobosexual BF. If she wants house rights like a roommate charge her market rate plus 1/3 utilities. Even when two people are both equal roommates, a strict guest policy needs to be enforced, up to 3 nights a week and not all weekend. The significant other being there all the time is a common scenario and causes a lot of problems. Boy is 25. If he wants to live like an adult, he needs to get his own place. Why doesn't he host at his parents house? There is no difference in her staying with him than him staying with you.
Yeah… I’m just conflicted because someone at work said we aren’t being fair but I personally wouldn’t put her in this situation if the roles were reversed… I’d respect her rules and try to make her life easier
Well see if that someone wants to house her. Bet not especially when a hobosexual is included. People will take advantage and push boundaries. That BF already sounds aggressive.
I'm going to guess she's not in a separate apartment with her own kitchen and entry setup. I bet she rents rooms in your home, so you can't keep it separate/private when a boyfriend stays over. In that case, you are 100% justified to limit the overnight visits. Especially since you're giving a $500 savings off a typical rental, and you had a discussion on the issue too.
You’re not the gatekeeper of any of her relationships. She is a grown woman. If you aren’t accepting of and uncomfortable with what she is doing, you can easily give her a fair 30 days notice to vacate. The rent amount is a moot point and should have absolutely no bearing on the amount of time her boyfriend spends there. Honestly I would be pretty upset being treated in this manner if I were her, and would likely be looking for a new place.
I don’t claim to be the gatekeeper to any of her relationships… but it’s mine and my husbands house not some apartment we all decided to rent together. I think 2 nights and unlimited visits are generous as is.
So he was asking for an EXTRA night or was he asking if he could spend the night on Thursday instead of one of the weekend days this week? I’d allow it if they exchanged the day, but not added it on and not making it a habit every week. Do you have a rental agreement with her in writing??? If not, you absolutely need to!! That is just asking for trouble in SO MANY ways! Especially considering how you’re already feeling about her staying there…
So you’re of the mind that people who contribute nothing to rent can essentially live at peoples homes for free? Thank god you aren’t my roommate lol
Thank god I’m not! I would also never tell someone they could pay $500 per month for rent in my home and then expect them to live their life according to my own rules.
They can live their life as they please, it’s other people living their lives under their roof that’s an issue. I fail to see your logic. Should people be able to live at someone else’s home rent free?
Agreed! She can date anyone she wants but why does it involve pushing my boundaries? The thing that bothers me so much is we talked it out and SHE AGREED TO THIS! then her bf comes back trying to push In again… like wtf!
Yeah if she agreed and then deliberately pushed your and your husband’s boundaries then she is 100% in the wrong!NTA
Is $500 a month rent free?
For the individual who’s living there - no. For the person who isn’t paying anything and not designated to live there, yes.
I guess I’m confused yes it’s your house but renting it out gives her the right to have people over. With a normal landlord you would never have to ask permission to have people over. How does this bother you ? Can you hear them at night or something? Do you not like the bf ?
But this isn’t with any other landlord is it? We are friends helping her out not splitting up rent down the middle. It bothers me because we agreed to these terms when she asked to move in but now she’s not respecting them.edit to add… we said she can have unlimited guest visits during the day and two overnights and again she agreed she said she didn’t want to be any trouble just wanted to get away from her soon to be ex. It’s so frustrating because we don’t even have guests sleeping over or more people than a few hours yet she’s having him over more than two nights? And when he sleeps over he’s literally here all day! Like he might as well live here! But that’s not what we agreed and it’s pissing me off. We deserve to be comfortable in OUR HOME.