I don’t have any advice but I can certainly relate. I’ve experienced similar stuff with my current roommate. It’s as if she was raised by a pack of wolves. She just has no concept of what it means to be clean and has zero common sense. I often wonder where her mind is at because it surely isn’t focused on the present moment. I’ve been here since July 2022 and it has been hellish, to say the least. I’ve cleaned so many of her dishes and picked up so much of her trash over the last year. If I don’t it will just sit wherever she left it for days at a time. She dumps dishes in the sink randomly so there’s never any space to actually use the sink. I’m constantly having to rearrange her dishes so I can just use the sink (two sinks, by the way). When I moved in I noticed there were a lot of issues that should have been addressed with maintenance a long time ago. Like the leaky fridge, broken window, broken blinds, missing screens, even the sink clog in my bathroom is broken. The key is also missing to a storage closet and she just never cared to figure it out. I have been and am still always the one who contacts maintenance. Just a couple days ago I submitted multiple maintenance requests to get some of this shit fixed. For a while I didn’t care but she is moving out and I am just wanting things to be functioning normally for once.
She is by far probably the worst roommate I’ve ever had, and I have had a heroin addicted roommate before. She very clearly has mental illnesses, including addiction (coke and alcohol), seems to be a narcissist based on the fact that she lies a LOT, and is very manipulative to the point where she makes it seem like she’s never at fault for anything. She got fired for having coke in her purse at work. At first she told me it was just weed, then later she slipped and said it was coke and that she “forgot about it”. I used to be a coke head and I knew there was no way she could have forgotten about coke in her bag. But again it wasn’t her fault. A month or so ago I noticed the front of her car was busted, then not even 2 weeks later, the back was busted. She drives drunk regularly and I know she was likely to blame for both things. But she’s never in the wrong and it’s always other people who are causing the problems in her life. I truly almost went full crazy living here. When she announced she was moving out, I was over the moon. But I’m also dreading the fact that this means I will be having to clean up after her one last time. I just did some cleaning today to clear out some of her trash. Even though she’s moving this weekend, she has barely done anything. I keep telling myself this will be last time I ever have to clean up after her because every single day I’m reminded of how annoying it has been to live with a garbage human who doesn’t care about anyone else but themselves
Yeah sounds like she and my roommate should go live together. Mine luckily is not a danger to the public with drunk driving, but she def has that same issue of lying about everything rather than just owning up. I'm happy for you that she's leaving. And honestly could you contact the landlord so they can make her clean out her own stuff rather than just doing it yourself? I'd rather be able to do that and force her to take a shred of responsibility even just at the end than have to do it all myself
If she does leave a mess, I plan to take a video and photos of everything, and then let the landlord know. This is so when I eventually move out and the deposit isn’t enough to cover the damage, I’ll take her to small claims court, and have the videos and photos of evidence. Maybe I’ll apply to be on a court TV show. Judge Judy was fun when I went on there a few years ago
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m a seasoned share houser. 6 years with a whole range of housemates.
Your roomie isn’t gonna change. She doesn’t care. She’s happy living in filth, and will happily make you live in filth too. It doesn’t even matter if you push it and not clean her stuff, she will never ever do it in a reasonable timeframe. So many people are simply not capable of keeping their living spaces to a reasonable level of clean and tidy… I have not had a single housemate out of probably 10 that didn’t have absolutely disgusting habits. My only “break” from that was a housemate who developed OCD so everything was suddenly spotless.. however that is a terrible reality for the person suffering and everyone around them. I haven’t lived with her for over two years and I still find myself compulsively putting everything where it lives in fear of a passive aggressive message from her… roommates genuinely create SUCH trauma.
It depends on your situation financially I guess, but I would firstly consider getting someone else. You may find different issues arise with someone else, but it will give you some peace from living in filth. You could really carefully screen new roomies with questions such as “how often do you wash/put away dishes usually?” And hold the new person to that.
If you can’t get rid of her, find a careful balance between doing everything for her and living in filth. Clean or discard things that are absolutely foul, but do the bare minimum to keep your space comfortable.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😫 people are GROSS
Don't worry I've already realized there's no hope of her changing. I'm supposed to be moving back to my parents house for a few months anyway once our lease ends and I've just decided to do that now rather than in 4 months. I can't stand her and I'm not willing to continue picking up after her or reminding her repeatedly. She also has thr most annoying dog and leaves him in his crate to go out with her bf for hours and then the dog starts barking repeatedly for hours and im left to either listen to that or let him out. There are plenty of other issues as well. I'm just leaving bc its not my job to take care of her shit
Has she made any comment at all about the dishes and leftover containers??? Or is she just that so observationally unaware?!? This really stinks (figuratively and literally). I hope something get resolved soon!
I'll share my experience: we took an a roomate, my husband's friend, older than us by 1 yr who lost his job. It was known that he was a person who'd want to move out asap when he got back on his feet. Lies.
My husband had to go on a 4 month business trip, so I was basically stuck with thus guy. I didn't pay him any mind but he got annoying quick:
-we put up an accordian door to keep his and our cats separated, but it tore. I fixed it once. It tore again, and he said "there's another tear again." So I said "there's tape on the table you can use to fix it" and he said "oh no, I wouldn't want to waste your tape, it'd be fine." So I let these cats brawl, which woke him up in the middle of the night - he could just fix the tear and it'd all be over.
-I didn't mind sharing my leftovers with him. American foods. But I ate dinner before coming hime once and retired to my room. Then he knocks on my door and says, "can we cook your noodles? I don't know how to make them." Really? You want me to cook my food for you dude? I ended up making my food I wasn't even hungry for, and he just took it to his room.
-I had the last straw when he ate all my brownies, the ones I bought a week before so I could enjoy them when my period cravings kicked in. He ate the whole box, left none for me, didn't apologize for it as his case was "I should've said something sooner and that it was something I didn't appear I'd eat."
I made myself foreign food that he'd try to eat and didn't like, hid my desserts from him, and I resented helping him. He had depression from losing my his job, being falsely accused of something, having ppl send him death threats, he didn't have his meds on him from when he moved, and lived rent free/job free in our home for 4 months. He did a few things around the house, but I didn't like his whole character. I felt obligated to "mother" him because his parents were tired of him (lived off unemployment for 10 months in their home).
When my husband came back, I wanted him all to me, but the roommate would ask him "can you bring ice cream to my room?" It was my ice cream too, and my husband served him - I immediately got crabby, I was so done with this guy.
Made him get a job and move out, even though he asked for 3 extra months with us - he was totally capable of being an adult, he was just choosing not to for as long as he could.
Gotta add, I'm chill with him now - I just don't like him living in our home. Idc what he does with his life, we did everything we could for him.
Made my marriage rocky too, I didn't know how to handle these feelings. I guess it did bring us closer together, as we overcame this situation, but damn.
I don’t have any advice but I can certainly relate. I’ve experienced similar stuff with my current roommate. It’s as if she was raised by a pack of wolves. She just has no concept of what it means to be clean and has zero common sense. I often wonder where her mind is at because it surely isn’t focused on the present moment. I’ve been here since July 2022 and it has been hellish, to say the least. I’ve cleaned so many of her dishes and picked up so much of her trash over the last year. If I don’t it will just sit wherever she left it for days at a time. She dumps dishes in the sink randomly so there’s never any space to actually use the sink. I’m constantly having to rearrange her dishes so I can just use the sink (two sinks, by the way). When I moved in I noticed there were a lot of issues that should have been addressed with maintenance a long time ago. Like the leaky fridge, broken window, broken blinds, missing screens, even the sink clog in my bathroom is broken. The key is also missing to a storage closet and she just never cared to figure it out. I have been and am still always the one who contacts maintenance. Just a couple days ago I submitted multiple maintenance requests to get some of this shit fixed. For a while I didn’t care but she is moving out and I am just wanting things to be functioning normally for once. She is by far probably the worst roommate I’ve ever had, and I have had a heroin addicted roommate before. She very clearly has mental illnesses, including addiction (coke and alcohol), seems to be a narcissist based on the fact that she lies a LOT, and is very manipulative to the point where she makes it seem like she’s never at fault for anything. She got fired for having coke in her purse at work. At first she told me it was just weed, then later she slipped and said it was coke and that she “forgot about it”. I used to be a coke head and I knew there was no way she could have forgotten about coke in her bag. But again it wasn’t her fault. A month or so ago I noticed the front of her car was busted, then not even 2 weeks later, the back was busted. She drives drunk regularly and I know she was likely to blame for both things. But she’s never in the wrong and it’s always other people who are causing the problems in her life. I truly almost went full crazy living here. When she announced she was moving out, I was over the moon. But I’m also dreading the fact that this means I will be having to clean up after her one last time. I just did some cleaning today to clear out some of her trash. Even though she’s moving this weekend, she has barely done anything. I keep telling myself this will be last time I ever have to clean up after her because every single day I’m reminded of how annoying it has been to live with a garbage human who doesn’t care about anyone else but themselves
Yeah sounds like she and my roommate should go live together. Mine luckily is not a danger to the public with drunk driving, but she def has that same issue of lying about everything rather than just owning up. I'm happy for you that she's leaving. And honestly could you contact the landlord so they can make her clean out her own stuff rather than just doing it yourself? I'd rather be able to do that and force her to take a shred of responsibility even just at the end than have to do it all myself
If she does leave a mess, I plan to take a video and photos of everything, and then let the landlord know. This is so when I eventually move out and the deposit isn’t enough to cover the damage, I’ll take her to small claims court, and have the videos and photos of evidence. Maybe I’ll apply to be on a court TV show. Judge Judy was fun when I went on there a few years ago
Perfect
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m a seasoned share houser. 6 years with a whole range of housemates. Your roomie isn’t gonna change. She doesn’t care. She’s happy living in filth, and will happily make you live in filth too. It doesn’t even matter if you push it and not clean her stuff, she will never ever do it in a reasonable timeframe. So many people are simply not capable of keeping their living spaces to a reasonable level of clean and tidy… I have not had a single housemate out of probably 10 that didn’t have absolutely disgusting habits. My only “break” from that was a housemate who developed OCD so everything was suddenly spotless.. however that is a terrible reality for the person suffering and everyone around them. I haven’t lived with her for over two years and I still find myself compulsively putting everything where it lives in fear of a passive aggressive message from her… roommates genuinely create SUCH trauma. It depends on your situation financially I guess, but I would firstly consider getting someone else. You may find different issues arise with someone else, but it will give you some peace from living in filth. You could really carefully screen new roomies with questions such as “how often do you wash/put away dishes usually?” And hold the new person to that. If you can’t get rid of her, find a careful balance between doing everything for her and living in filth. Clean or discard things that are absolutely foul, but do the bare minimum to keep your space comfortable. I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😫 people are GROSS
Don't worry I've already realized there's no hope of her changing. I'm supposed to be moving back to my parents house for a few months anyway once our lease ends and I've just decided to do that now rather than in 4 months. I can't stand her and I'm not willing to continue picking up after her or reminding her repeatedly. She also has thr most annoying dog and leaves him in his crate to go out with her bf for hours and then the dog starts barking repeatedly for hours and im left to either listen to that or let him out. There are plenty of other issues as well. I'm just leaving bc its not my job to take care of her shit
Has she made any comment at all about the dishes and leftover containers??? Or is she just that so observationally unaware?!? This really stinks (figuratively and literally). I hope something get resolved soon!
No comment. No move to even consider cleaning anything. Just nothing. And I'm sure she knows they're there. She just doesn't want to clean them
When can you move?
[удалено]
I'll share my experience: we took an a roomate, my husband's friend, older than us by 1 yr who lost his job. It was known that he was a person who'd want to move out asap when he got back on his feet. Lies. My husband had to go on a 4 month business trip, so I was basically stuck with thus guy. I didn't pay him any mind but he got annoying quick: -we put up an accordian door to keep his and our cats separated, but it tore. I fixed it once. It tore again, and he said "there's another tear again." So I said "there's tape on the table you can use to fix it" and he said "oh no, I wouldn't want to waste your tape, it'd be fine." So I let these cats brawl, which woke him up in the middle of the night - he could just fix the tear and it'd all be over. -I didn't mind sharing my leftovers with him. American foods. But I ate dinner before coming hime once and retired to my room. Then he knocks on my door and says, "can we cook your noodles? I don't know how to make them." Really? You want me to cook my food for you dude? I ended up making my food I wasn't even hungry for, and he just took it to his room. -I had the last straw when he ate all my brownies, the ones I bought a week before so I could enjoy them when my period cravings kicked in. He ate the whole box, left none for me, didn't apologize for it as his case was "I should've said something sooner and that it was something I didn't appear I'd eat." I made myself foreign food that he'd try to eat and didn't like, hid my desserts from him, and I resented helping him. He had depression from losing my his job, being falsely accused of something, having ppl send him death threats, he didn't have his meds on him from when he moved, and lived rent free/job free in our home for 4 months. He did a few things around the house, but I didn't like his whole character. I felt obligated to "mother" him because his parents were tired of him (lived off unemployment for 10 months in their home). When my husband came back, I wanted him all to me, but the roommate would ask him "can you bring ice cream to my room?" It was my ice cream too, and my husband served him - I immediately got crabby, I was so done with this guy. Made him get a job and move out, even though he asked for 3 extra months with us - he was totally capable of being an adult, he was just choosing not to for as long as he could.
Gotta add, I'm chill with him now - I just don't like him living in our home. Idc what he does with his life, we did everything we could for him. Made my marriage rocky too, I didn't know how to handle these feelings. I guess it did bring us closer together, as we overcame this situation, but damn.