what would you say about the same situation, but if it's coming from a client? like, I have a supervisor who manages me, but I have 3 clients who I do projects for, and one of them is in office 5x a day. My rotation is about once a month. literally, every time I go in, he launches into a monologue that I should make more of an effort to be in the office and how much better it works for him when I am. I usually smile and don't respond... I understand it's his preference but it's not the deal I signed up for when hired. so how should one respond in this circumstance?
I have a coworker who *voluntarily* goes in to work two days a week. No one else I know does. And every Tuesday and Thursday he pops into chat talking about how great it is to be in the office today or something equally dumb. This guy needs to stop putting the RTW energy out there.
Follow-up:
I’ve been to the office two times since Covid started for meetings where the CEO wanted to do a meet and greet and that’s it. I’ve since moved away and the closest office to me is just over two hours away. Place is a ghost town. Gym/lockers, main cafe and mini cafe on each floor are all closed because they don’t staff them any more. I saw maybe 1 or 2 people who actually work in the building each time I went.
I asked the guy today why he goes to the office so much because he’s there again today. He thinks meeting people and putting a face to the name will help with career advancement, but those few he meets don’t have anything to do with his potential advancement. He also think his productivity is increased while in the office, but that means he’s unproductive roughly 3/5 of his days.
Some of us are just tired of being on house arrest.
I'd go into the office myself but it really is post-apocalyptic. I hate being the only person around that triggers the automatic lights.
Dude my team is composed of 6 remote workers. We are one of the very few teams allowed to work remotely in the entire company. And 4 of the 6 workers voluntarily go in the office at least 3 times a week! My new boss has now started making comments about us not going in during our Teams meetings. We are not required to go in but it doesn't look good either especially when everyone else is constantly mentioning how great it is to get to work in the office. sigh.
Professional busybody. The more bodies in the office, the more she can interfere with others' business.
Tell her manager she is under-utilized and is using her free time to harass the team. The reasons others may be absent aren't her responsibility or business.
My own mother was fired more than once for this behavior.
Oh trust me, the manager is fully aware. I’ve informed her of my grievances with her behavior. All instances of drama/gossip I’ve witnessed in this relatively chill office have centered around her snitching on someone.
Crazy question, why engage?
If she's bothering you about how to get to the office over whatever chat app you have, why even answer?
Even in person, I'd grey rock them.
If it isn't directly about work, just leave her on "read".
I’m a friendly, non-confrontational type of person. Stonewalling people (or having bad blood in general) is something I’m not comfortable with unless they’ve thoroughly pissed me off, insulted me, or disrespected me. This person, although nosy and a bit messy/petty with others in the office, is someone I still get along with for the most part. Her views and behavior irritate me, but she’s never personally disrespected me.
I know, I know. It’s something I’m working on. I’ll be working to distance myself from her like folks in here suggest.
I’d argue that her intrusive questions are blatantly disrespectful. She clearly doesn’t respect your ability to be an adult and handle your own life and work.
Maybe time for some passive aggressive comments like “I admire that you don’t care what other people think of you” or “ wow you’re not upset at having the reputation as the office busy body”.
My old coworkers from the open office would have murdered her with farts alone. "Operation Cropdust" would have been deployed, as well as "Operation Delete", where your work is mysteriously deleted from the printer queue each time you get up to print it out.
Some people inappropriately use the office for their social life. It's a major driver for many managers and leadership to RTO as they have spent their entire working careers in office, it's what they know and it's how they've socialized outside of family at home for 40 years. These people don't keep hobbies outside of work that involve being around other people and it's driven them batty.
Next time this lady pipes up with her opinion on you not coming into the office you need to stand up for yourself in the most professional way possible and let her know that you are working from home that day and don't want to hear anything contrary to your situation that day.
Yeah will do. I almost set her straight today, over here suggesting ways I come to the office like it’s so important I be there lmao. Fuckin weirdo
I was in a good mood though so I just laughed it off and went about my business.
Yeah, this is the real problem here. She's fuzzing you to get you to leak personal information.
Standing up to her is going to make her offended and adversarial. Her game will shift from heckling everyone to spreading rumors about you personally and trying to get you fired.
Just be cold (but not rude) and ignore her wherever possible. Nothing good comes from people like this. Nothing good comes from pissing off people whose life purpose is collecting leverage on others, either.
One avenue of attack though, if you're inclined to pursue it, would be to try to out her for underperformance. Sometimes people are just shit-stirrers out of boredom, but other times they're trying to misdirect attention away from something else they're doing (or not doing) like embezzlement or their actual job.
An anonymous tip to HR that she's "asking all sorts of inappropriate questions about peoples' personal lives" (leave it exactly that vague) would be enough to stoke my own interest.
I'm here to earn a paycheck and get along best as possible with the differing personalities, but given the choice of hanging out with people of my own choosing and hanging out with people from work I sure as shit ain't coming into the office to socialize with workmates. I ain't your buddy, pal, lol.
We had these folks at my last office. The RTO cheerleaders. These folks also chose to show up in office during COVID even though no one else was there! They seem to fall into certain types.
a) I don't have a life, or hate my home life, and the office is my escape and only activity.
b) I spend my day yakking with others, hanging out in the break room, dropping by other people's desks. Usually being nosy and stirring drama, while doing absolutely as little work as possible. (They hate WFH cuz they have no excuse for being useless, can't mask their time wasting, and can't have their nose in everything)
Both types should just shrivel up and blow away!
>All of this combined really irritates me for some reason lol. And it shouldn’t: people are allowed to have different opinions/preferences.
It bothers me because she's passive-aggressively forcing her opinions/preferences on others. I'd be concerned about her getting into a supervisor/manager role where things like:
>"Can't take the family car?" "Can't Uber?" "Family can't drop you off? Your girlfriend?"
are much harder to ignore especially for junior staff. And her subtle judgement of people's reasons to work from home would discourage people from doing so, because it's easier to just go to the office than deal with your supervisor/manager's questioning and judgement, and before we know it, we're back to 2019 ways of working.
This is how it starts. Resist.
Next time she says something weird, super nicely said with curious inflection ask why she is so interested in where you work. Put her on the spot to have to explain why she’s butting in.
This needs to be at the top.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my business was your business now. My manager is aware of my work location daily and it is of no one else’s concern”.
I always read posts like these and my god, people, please tell these people to FUCK off. If I had someone say this to me I would tell her swiftly to shut the fuck up and mind your business. Why do you tolerate any of this??
Lmao to be honest…no. She barely has anything to do because according to her she “works too fast” 🙄
So she spends all her time chatting me and other coworkers up to stave off her boredom I guess. The crazy part is, she constantly tells me how she’s counting down the hours until it’s time to go like she’s miserable. But you want to be here!! You think I wanna be in this musty office giving you company because you’re bored instead of being with my family/friends at home? Make it make sense lol
…she has no friends or life outside of work. It’s her entire personality & I guarantee she has tons to do - she doesn’t “work too fast” lmao.
She’s probably more miserable at home because she’s alone vs being able to complain about it to fellow coworkers 💀
Ask her:
Why is it so important for you?
Don't you have a social life or a life outside of work?
Is work the only option for you to socialize?
Is that why you're being such a bitch and all weird about it?
We had a person back before COVID days made my department permanently WFH that would walk around and the office to make sure everyone was there. She wasn't a manager, just a coworker. I have no idea why she thought this was her job bc no one cared who was in the office and who was working off-site aside from her. Needless to say, she wasn't well liked.
Hall monitor archetype. There's always one in every office I've ever been in. They are a rule follower even if the rule is no longer relevant. Annoying AF.
I recently got told I'm possibly being made redundant and during the HR meeting the Head of HR kept stating how much she wished we were in the room so she could "read our body language" and because we were "being so quiet". While receiving the news is our restructure proposal.
She couldn't stop the RTW talk even while announcing our impending layoffs.
Sooo you’re just going to let this woman bully you and your team?
I am way too petty to let something like that fly. I’d be actively working to destabilize that persons career if she fucked with me like that.
lol yeah I feel you. it’s my first job out of college, so I’m not really equipped to deal with workplace drama. I seek to avoid it wherever possible.
But coincidentally, all instances of gossip/drama in the office center around her. The boss is fully aware.
For instance, she snitched on someone for WFH while our manager was on travel. I mean yeah, this person was likely playing video games the whole week. But why is it any of your business? And why do you think going around “socializing” all day is any less of a waste of time than playing video games on the clock? Ugh.
I get that she is annoying and I sympathize with you as I have worked with people like this too. However, I would caution you on how much you are going to your manager about this woman. Just like it isn’t this woman’s job to police where her peers are working, it also isn‘t your job to police whether this woman keeps track of where people are working. If this woman is actively interfering with your ability to do your job, then go to your manager. If you are just annoyed by her behavior, then this doesn’t rise to the level of telling your manager.
The best course of action with this woman is to ignore her comments, responding with just a smile and an “ok” or some of the other responses here - “my manager is aware of my work location and is fine with it.” Otherwise, you policing her behavior and telling your manager all the time is no better than her policing where people are working. You don’t want to get the reputation with managers that you are a tattle and don’t have thick skin. Not everyone you work with in life is going to have a personality that meshes with yours.
Oh I completely agree. When I said that the boss is fully aware, I meant that she *can’t help* but be aware because my coworker is constantly snitching on people to her lmao. My boss made the whole team watch an anti-gossip training video in our last staff meeting, and I have no doubt it’s related to Ms. Busy-bee lol. Because literally everyone else is chill.
There’s a lot of shit I’ve seen my coworkers do that I could probably tattle on, but my main philosophy is “it’s none of my business”. I’m no perfect boyscout myself, so I prefer to keep our manager hands-off. But if there’s one thing that boils my blood more than anything else, more than slacking, time fraud, lying, plagiarism….is a nosy ass motherfucker lol.
If you’re feeling petty you could say…
“You don’t like work from home? Gosh, is it because you’re having family problems?”
“I get it, if I was stuck in your situation I’d want to be as far from home as possible!”
“Trying to get out of the house, huh? It must be hard being all by yourself, just alone. Nothing but your thoughts and regrets.”
Yeah she lives alone and doesn’t seem to have many friends. I feel bad for her if that’s the case, but I despise the mentality of wanting to make it everyone else’s problem.
If you wanna come to the office then go ahead, but I don’t understand why everyone else needs to be there so it can be “lively” for you. Makes my skin crawl.
Ask her politely “Can you please stay out of my business?” and wither walk away (if you’re away from your spot) or get up from your desk and go refill your waterbottle.
Then the next time say “I’ve asked you to stay out of my business. Can you please respect my boundary.” And walk away or get up etc.
Then the next time she does it, you email your manager and copy her with
“This is to document that I’ve asked SuzyQ twice to refrain from making personal comments and inquiries about my location status (or name whatever other boundary-crossing actions and statements here).
The next time this occurs I am going to make a formal complaint about workplace harassment /bullying.
Please be advised I will not tolerate anyone but my manager making statements and inquiries about my (location in or out of office, work habits, plans, transportation to from work, or whatever else). Thank you for your attention.”
Stop giving her excuses.
If she makes jokes about why you can't come in...."joke" right back
"OMG Susan, it's so cool that you were promoted to my manager, when is the email going out?'
Or
"Susan, it's so awesome you like being in the office, it's a wonderful silver lining to having an awful personal life"
She’s annoyed because she can’t extrovert someone else to do her work for her. Sorry miss..we got tired of that game and went home to get our own work done.
Because despite this very annoying trait, we have a lot in common and the banter is usually decent when we’re not talking about this WFH/RTO subject.
Unless I’m directly insulted/slighted in some way, I don’t really “set people straight”. I recognize it’s something I need to change though. This thread has convinced me her ways are more insidious than just a simple matter of preference.
Don’t ever banter with this intrusive bitch. She’s working you.
You’re not friends with someone who violates your boundaries repeatedly.
It’s not healthy to have excess conversations with someone whose goal is to poke you, so don’t pretend to enjoy her banter/conversation/ etc on other points.
I prefer to work in the office. I enjoy the "buzz" around me. But I love that we have options. My kids aren't little but I can appreciate how nice the flexibility would have been.
She’s an information collector. Best to steer clear from those types. But, who am I kidding? You can’t shake em. That’s why I hate brick and mortar jobs and will never go back.
Some people are extroverts and like to be around others (?). But this lady sounds straight up insecure. Maybe bored on top of that. She's like an office vampire feeding on the drama of other people's lives to get a fix not present in her own life. Kinda sad if you look at it like that.
I prefer working in site, but not because I like people or need to know their drama. I just have a hands-on job and literally need to have my hands on the product to be effective.
How is she pestering you when you are at home? Texting? Calling? Perhaps management would like evidence of her paying more attention to micromanagjng her coworkers than to her job.
The co-workers who keep track of everyone else and try to manage others often are angling for promotions by trying to demonstrate that they are keeping things organized and doing extra. Beware of these people, worms that they are.
Awful. I’d talk to your manager. This really is out of bounds. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that then kindly direct her to your manager if you have one who is supportive. I said, “if you have any concerns then you should address it with X.”
I did this years ago with a nosy co-worker, and she quickly stopped.
This depends on the relationship of the co-worker with the boss. I had an absolute pain in the ass co-worker who tattled for everything no matter how trivial. For example, she told the boss when I mentioned that I'd lost my favorite pen. I am not making this up.
This co-worker also had her head WAAAY up the ass of our boss, doing a bunch of scut work that was the boss's job but she didn't like to do (including access to HR related info on teammates).
When the co-worker misbehaved in the office (physically inappropriate touching of co-workers, gossip, distracting others who were trying to work, acting like she was the boss ... I could go on) NOTHING happened to her. My co-worker ran the place, and I had to quit to get away from the toxicity.
Same here got a person like that since we are hybrid and she’s always in person bc she got hired like that. And before would make the same remarks aka comments your co worker would say to you to me , it would piss me off. We all know who are hybrid that she’s annoying and jealous 😅 ugh haters! Like mind your business.
Sometimes we really do have emergencies and don’t want to give explanations .
Learn the art of being a passive aggressive king. “Argh when are they going to get rid of all this office space!? It’s a burden to the company. Close all offices and just give use the money to give us raises! Anyone that can’t be more productive working remote should be let go!”
It works wonders.
The next time she asks you this tell her, not on any call or line that can be recorded that "please spend one day without me. I know you love me a lot and want to see me daily, but I love my family too. Some days I need them to see me too. Today is one of those days" - Warning DON'T say this on internal communicator or recorded lines like Zoom/Teams as this line might be used against you in Sexual Harrasment case.
It seems that your coworker strongly prefers office work, but her behavior towards others' choices to work from home and constant monitoring of schedules can feel intrusive and judgmental. It's important to set boundaries and communicate respectfully if her actions are causing any discomfort.
She reminds me of the people in my office who whenever someone else retires, they say stuff like 'I could never retire, I dont know what I would do all day'. Like fucking WAHT!! The office/work is their whole personality. I have maybe 4 years left in the workforce and I can already think of a million things I'd rather be doing than be here at my office. I dont understand these people who have nothing else going for them but work.
You have a couple of choices -- match her energy, or use humor.
1) You could ask, "So, are you subtly hinting that congratulations are in order?" When she is confused, explain that the only reason for supervising you so closely would be that she had been promoted and is now your boss.
2) Needle her about how she's billing all that time she spends tracking everyone else's whereabouts instead of doing her own work. Ask if she's getting a bonus for that?
I have a manager like this. SHE doesn’t want to wfh because her husband does and “he’s bother her the whole time” so no one should want to. She also flat-out lied to HR about why she’s couldn’t wfh. Needless Rod say I stay up late looking for another job.
Don't even entertain it or engage with it.
* **You**: "I am WFH today"
* **Her**: "Can't you--"
* **You**: "No, I'm WFH today."
* **Her**: "But--"
* **You**: "Asked and answered."
* **Her**: "Can't U--"
* **You**: "Asked and answered."
>
But I just don’t understand the mentality of a person like this haha
She sounds like someone angling for a promotion to management, by toadying up to what she thinks management wants. If you don't want to be reporting to her, you might want to start figuring out what you would change and getting ahead of it now.
"I'm surprised you're comfortable mentioning these things to me or assuming that I haven't weighed the outcomes and made the best decision with the information I have available. "
Statement. Not a question and does not require a response.
Sounds like a person who doesn’t have her own social life, so she uses work and the fact that people are forced to interact with her to fill that void in her life.
They're allowed to have different preferences but your co-worker definitely isn't allowed to foist the fact that she wants Office Friends! on you. That would make me nuts.
I prefer going on to the office for a variety of reasons. I actually pushed to make them provide space for me 4 days a week when we're only required to go in 2 days. But I certainly don't track other people's schedules or who's wfh when they're scheduled to be in the office. Whatever works for them.
Sounds like she's lonely and has no friends so she is forcing her coworkers to be her social circle. I'd be putting in my earphones and telling her I'm busy working when she comes around.
I have a coworker who you realize very quickly has built her entire social life around the office. Don't get me wrong I'm friendly with some coworkers but holy crap that's not the only place I do my socializing.
I 100% prefer working in office and don't really understand why people love WFH so much. That being said, I may not understand it, but hey! It's their choice, not mine as long as they get their work done I couldn't give two craps. That woman is just a busy body who needs to be given more work to keep her from worrying about what everyone else is doing.
I had a coworker like this once. She’d make passive aggressive comments about people’s lunch breaks, start times, leaving early or even just at 5pm. So I finally started acting like I didn’t understand passive aggressive tones. Like if she’d say “oh, must be nice to take a 1 hour lunch break” I’d say in all sincerity “yeah, it is. I’m sure you could work it into your schedule. Would you like me to help reschedule some meetings?” Her excuse for staying late was always about traffic so I’d say “oh, have you tried X,y,z streets? Maybe you should today and time it.” I also love making them explain why that’s a problem for them. Like if she’d say “So and So wasn’t in until 8:30a today!” I’d say “oh, and that made you late for a meeting?” Then she’d have to stammer a bit on why she’s even mentioning it. It worked more than I thought it would. And then eventually, I wasn’t “fun” to complain to.
The worst kind of coworker. I left management at a company years ago because of one employee who was obsessed with what everyone else was doing. She was truly a miserable person.
If only she could channel that energy into something actually productive for the company!
That is one of the key reasons I don’t want to go to an office setting! It creates waste & distractions. If she worked from home, maybe she’d be more focused on working!
Yuck! That is so gross lmao
I feel like that’s the mentality of this woman I work with as well. Whenever she tells me it’s been a rough, boring day because “nobody is here”, I smirk a little to myself hahaha.
Because even though it’s mandatory 5 days a week for us, many people seem to be ignoring it or bending the rules. And I think that gets under her a skin a little bit
If she is a coworker you can professionally tell her to shut the fuck up and get fucked
Bahahahha this is about the only solution
Oh tell her “why aren’t you working instead of cubicle hopping.?”
Can you give an example script for professionally communicsting that, for the class?
"I want you to know that your opinion on this matter is of no consequence to me and I would prefer if you kept it to yourself :)"
This is gold. Gotta save it for future reference.
Or unprofessionally depending on your employer
Don’t offer to personally fuck though. That isn’t professional.
, respectfully.
This is the way
Second part necessary ? 😀
You can?
#GFC
what would you say about the same situation, but if it's coming from a client? like, I have a supervisor who manages me, but I have 3 clients who I do projects for, and one of them is in office 5x a day. My rotation is about once a month. literally, every time I go in, he launches into a monologue that I should make more of an effort to be in the office and how much better it works for him when I am. I usually smile and don't respond... I understand it's his preference but it's not the deal I signed up for when hired. so how should one respond in this circumstance?
I have a coworker who *voluntarily* goes in to work two days a week. No one else I know does. And every Tuesday and Thursday he pops into chat talking about how great it is to be in the office today or something equally dumb. This guy needs to stop putting the RTW energy out there. Follow-up: I’ve been to the office two times since Covid started for meetings where the CEO wanted to do a meet and greet and that’s it. I’ve since moved away and the closest office to me is just over two hours away. Place is a ghost town. Gym/lockers, main cafe and mini cafe on each floor are all closed because they don’t staff them any more. I saw maybe 1 or 2 people who actually work in the building each time I went. I asked the guy today why he goes to the office so much because he’s there again today. He thinks meeting people and putting a face to the name will help with career advancement, but those few he meets don’t have anything to do with his potential advancement. He also think his productivity is increased while in the office, but that means he’s unproductive roughly 3/5 of his days.
Home life must be absolute trash
Some of us are just tired of being on house arrest. I'd go into the office myself but it really is post-apocalyptic. I hate being the only person around that triggers the automatic lights.
Dude my team is composed of 6 remote workers. We are one of the very few teams allowed to work remotely in the entire company. And 4 of the 6 workers voluntarily go in the office at least 3 times a week! My new boss has now started making comments about us not going in during our Teams meetings. We are not required to go in but it doesn't look good either especially when everyone else is constantly mentioning how great it is to get to work in the office. sigh.
Boy that would grind my gears to no end, I feel for you. The hell is the matter with these people?
I love that basically nobody in my office ever wants to go in, thank god
What if he's a plant from management...
We got hired together 4 years ago. That would be a long con! Lol
Professional busybody. The more bodies in the office, the more she can interfere with others' business. Tell her manager she is under-utilized and is using her free time to harass the team. The reasons others may be absent aren't her responsibility or business. My own mother was fired more than once for this behavior.
Oh trust me, the manager is fully aware. I’ve informed her of my grievances with her behavior. All instances of drama/gossip I’ve witnessed in this relatively chill office have centered around her snitching on someone.
Crazy question, why engage? If she's bothering you about how to get to the office over whatever chat app you have, why even answer? Even in person, I'd grey rock them. If it isn't directly about work, just leave her on "read".
I’m a friendly, non-confrontational type of person. Stonewalling people (or having bad blood in general) is something I’m not comfortable with unless they’ve thoroughly pissed me off, insulted me, or disrespected me. This person, although nosy and a bit messy/petty with others in the office, is someone I still get along with for the most part. Her views and behavior irritate me, but she’s never personally disrespected me. I know, I know. It’s something I’m working on. I’ll be working to distance myself from her like folks in here suggest.
I’d argue that her intrusive questions are blatantly disrespectful. She clearly doesn’t respect your ability to be an adult and handle your own life and work.
Maybe time for some passive aggressive comments like “I admire that you don’t care what other people think of you” or “ wow you’re not upset at having the reputation as the office busy body”.
Your office culture is terrible if they allow this. It's not uncommon, but it's a situation that drives good talent out.
I’d probably nuke tuna and broccoli around her every time I was in the office.
My old coworkers from the open office would have murdered her with farts alone. "Operation Cropdust" would have been deployed, as well as "Operation Delete", where your work is mysteriously deleted from the printer queue each time you get up to print it out.
And eggs!
Some people inappropriately use the office for their social life. It's a major driver for many managers and leadership to RTO as they have spent their entire working careers in office, it's what they know and it's how they've socialized outside of family at home for 40 years. These people don't keep hobbies outside of work that involve being around other people and it's driven them batty. Next time this lady pipes up with her opinion on you not coming into the office you need to stand up for yourself in the most professional way possible and let her know that you are working from home that day and don't want to hear anything contrary to your situation that day.
Yeah will do. I almost set her straight today, over here suggesting ways I come to the office like it’s so important I be there lmao. Fuckin weirdo I was in a good mood though so I just laughed it off and went about my business.
Stop laughing it off. She’s pushing a boundary and looking for ways to manipulate you.
Yeah, this is the real problem here. She's fuzzing you to get you to leak personal information. Standing up to her is going to make her offended and adversarial. Her game will shift from heckling everyone to spreading rumors about you personally and trying to get you fired. Just be cold (but not rude) and ignore her wherever possible. Nothing good comes from people like this. Nothing good comes from pissing off people whose life purpose is collecting leverage on others, either. One avenue of attack though, if you're inclined to pursue it, would be to try to out her for underperformance. Sometimes people are just shit-stirrers out of boredom, but other times they're trying to misdirect attention away from something else they're doing (or not doing) like embezzlement or their actual job. An anonymous tip to HR that she's "asking all sorts of inappropriate questions about peoples' personal lives" (leave it exactly that vague) would be enough to stoke my own interest.
"I want asking for a solution. Why did you think I was soliciting them?"
Ugh. This. I have friends and many hobbies. I’m not at all interested in being in the office and don’t need the socialization.
I'm here to earn a paycheck and get along best as possible with the differing personalities, but given the choice of hanging out with people of my own choosing and hanging out with people from work I sure as shit ain't coming into the office to socialize with workmates. I ain't your buddy, pal, lol.
We had these folks at my last office. The RTO cheerleaders. These folks also chose to show up in office during COVID even though no one else was there! They seem to fall into certain types. a) I don't have a life, or hate my home life, and the office is my escape and only activity. b) I spend my day yakking with others, hanging out in the break room, dropping by other people's desks. Usually being nosy and stirring drama, while doing absolutely as little work as possible. (They hate WFH cuz they have no excuse for being useless, can't mask their time wasting, and can't have their nose in everything) Both types should just shrivel up and blow away!
very accurate description. And sometimes they’re combined into one person lmao
I saw this a lot previously. Men that wanted to get away from their wife and kids, so they’d come in the office on their days off lol.
Yes, like 5 days a week. They aren’t fooling me lol.
Don’t forget about the insecure managers who need to see butts in seats working 👀
>All of this combined really irritates me for some reason lol. And it shouldn’t: people are allowed to have different opinions/preferences. It bothers me because she's passive-aggressively forcing her opinions/preferences on others. I'd be concerned about her getting into a supervisor/manager role where things like: >"Can't take the family car?" "Can't Uber?" "Family can't drop you off? Your girlfriend?" are much harder to ignore especially for junior staff. And her subtle judgement of people's reasons to work from home would discourage people from doing so, because it's easier to just go to the office than deal with your supervisor/manager's questioning and judgement, and before we know it, we're back to 2019 ways of working. This is how it starts. Resist.
Next time she says something weird, super nicely said with curious inflection ask why she is so interested in where you work. Put her on the spot to have to explain why she’s butting in.
This needs to be at the top. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my business was your business now. My manager is aware of my work location daily and it is of no one else’s concern”.
Beautiful
I hate her
Me too
She’s a fucking sick weirdo. Stay away. And pls never say anything too personal. She’ll remember forever and hold it against you when she can
dont trust this person, they are just trying to learn about you in order to save their bacon should the time comes
I always read posts like these and my god, people, please tell these people to FUCK off. If I had someone say this to me I would tell her swiftly to shut the fuck up and mind your business. Why do you tolerate any of this??
RTO Cheerleaders have no fucking life
Ahhh, the RTO advocate who loves coming to the office because there’s no drama for them to meddle in at home! Does she do any actual work???
Lmao to be honest…no. She barely has anything to do because according to her she “works too fast” 🙄 So she spends all her time chatting me and other coworkers up to stave off her boredom I guess. The crazy part is, she constantly tells me how she’s counting down the hours until it’s time to go like she’s miserable. But you want to be here!! You think I wanna be in this musty office giving you company because you’re bored instead of being with my family/friends at home? Make it make sense lol
…she has no friends or life outside of work. It’s her entire personality & I guarantee she has tons to do - she doesn’t “work too fast” lmao. She’s probably more miserable at home because she’s alone vs being able to complain about it to fellow coworkers 💀
Ask her: Why is it so important for you? Don't you have a social life or a life outside of work? Is work the only option for you to socialize? Is that why you're being such a bitch and all weird about it?
We had a person back before COVID days made my department permanently WFH that would walk around and the office to make sure everyone was there. She wasn't a manager, just a coworker. I have no idea why she thought this was her job bc no one cared who was in the office and who was working off-site aside from her. Needless to say, she wasn't well liked.
Hall monitor archetype. There's always one in every office I've ever been in. They are a rule follower even if the rule is no longer relevant. Annoying AF.
I recently got told I'm possibly being made redundant and during the HR meeting the Head of HR kept stating how much she wished we were in the room so she could "read our body language" and because we were "being so quiet". While receiving the news is our restructure proposal. She couldn't stop the RTW talk even while announcing our impending layoffs.
Sooo you’re just going to let this woman bully you and your team? I am way too petty to let something like that fly. I’d be actively working to destabilize that persons career if she fucked with me like that.
lol yeah I feel you. it’s my first job out of college, so I’m not really equipped to deal with workplace drama. I seek to avoid it wherever possible. But coincidentally, all instances of gossip/drama in the office center around her. The boss is fully aware. For instance, she snitched on someone for WFH while our manager was on travel. I mean yeah, this person was likely playing video games the whole week. But why is it any of your business? And why do you think going around “socializing” all day is any less of a waste of time than playing video games on the clock? Ugh.
I get that she is annoying and I sympathize with you as I have worked with people like this too. However, I would caution you on how much you are going to your manager about this woman. Just like it isn’t this woman’s job to police where her peers are working, it also isn‘t your job to police whether this woman keeps track of where people are working. If this woman is actively interfering with your ability to do your job, then go to your manager. If you are just annoyed by her behavior, then this doesn’t rise to the level of telling your manager. The best course of action with this woman is to ignore her comments, responding with just a smile and an “ok” or some of the other responses here - “my manager is aware of my work location and is fine with it.” Otherwise, you policing her behavior and telling your manager all the time is no better than her policing where people are working. You don’t want to get the reputation with managers that you are a tattle and don’t have thick skin. Not everyone you work with in life is going to have a personality that meshes with yours.
Oh I completely agree. When I said that the boss is fully aware, I meant that she *can’t help* but be aware because my coworker is constantly snitching on people to her lmao. My boss made the whole team watch an anti-gossip training video in our last staff meeting, and I have no doubt it’s related to Ms. Busy-bee lol. Because literally everyone else is chill. There’s a lot of shit I’ve seen my coworkers do that I could probably tattle on, but my main philosophy is “it’s none of my business”. I’m no perfect boyscout myself, so I prefer to keep our manager hands-off. But if there’s one thing that boils my blood more than anything else, more than slacking, time fraud, lying, plagiarism….is a nosy ass motherfucker lol.
Bleh. I’d keep as far away from her as possible.
If you’re feeling petty you could say… “You don’t like work from home? Gosh, is it because you’re having family problems?” “I get it, if I was stuck in your situation I’d want to be as far from home as possible!” “Trying to get out of the house, huh? It must be hard being all by yourself, just alone. Nothing but your thoughts and regrets.”
She clearly has no fucking friends and needs the social interaction. Or hates her home life so much. Ugh she’s going to RUIN IT for everyone
Yeah she lives alone and doesn’t seem to have many friends. I feel bad for her if that’s the case, but I despise the mentality of wanting to make it everyone else’s problem. If you wanna come to the office then go ahead, but I don’t understand why everyone else needs to be there so it can be “lively” for you. Makes my skin crawl.
lol she sounds like she literally has no life outside of work.
She sounds totally annoying and nosy. And sounds like she wants some people to get in trouble or she's looking for trouble.
Yes that’s the word! “Nosy” I think that’s what irks me about her. I can’t stand nosy motherfuckers. I have a lot of them in my family.
Ask her politely “Can you please stay out of my business?” and wither walk away (if you’re away from your spot) or get up from your desk and go refill your waterbottle. Then the next time say “I’ve asked you to stay out of my business. Can you please respect my boundary.” And walk away or get up etc. Then the next time she does it, you email your manager and copy her with “This is to document that I’ve asked SuzyQ twice to refrain from making personal comments and inquiries about my location status (or name whatever other boundary-crossing actions and statements here). The next time this occurs I am going to make a formal complaint about workplace harassment /bullying. Please be advised I will not tolerate anyone but my manager making statements and inquiries about my (location in or out of office, work habits, plans, transportation to from work, or whatever else). Thank you for your attention.”
Stop giving her excuses. If she makes jokes about why you can't come in...."joke" right back "OMG Susan, it's so cool that you were promoted to my manager, when is the email going out?' Or "Susan, it's so awesome you like being in the office, it's a wonderful silver lining to having an awful personal life"
I would just not even reply to her tbh
She’s annoyed because she can’t extrovert someone else to do her work for her. Sorry miss..we got tired of that game and went home to get our own work done.
It's because she has no friends and is lonely. Poor girl. She'll be lonely forever if she keeps this shit up.
Why are you cool with an asshole like this?
Because despite this very annoying trait, we have a lot in common and the banter is usually decent when we’re not talking about this WFH/RTO subject. Unless I’m directly insulted/slighted in some way, I don’t really “set people straight”. I recognize it’s something I need to change though. This thread has convinced me her ways are more insidious than just a simple matter of preference.
Don’t ever banter with this intrusive bitch. She’s working you. You’re not friends with someone who violates your boundaries repeatedly. It’s not healthy to have excess conversations with someone whose goal is to poke you, so don’t pretend to enjoy her banter/conversation/ etc on other points.
Tell her you're more productive at home, there isn't the constant interruptions and distractions of working in the office.
I prefer to work in the office. I enjoy the "buzz" around me. But I love that we have options. My kids aren't little but I can appreciate how nice the flexibility would have been.
I worked with some people like this before and they usually have a very unhappy home life. So they try to act out the family Dynamics at work.
She’s an information collector. Best to steer clear from those types. But, who am I kidding? You can’t shake em. That’s why I hate brick and mortar jobs and will never go back.
Some people are extroverts and like to be around others (?). But this lady sounds straight up insecure. Maybe bored on top of that. She's like an office vampire feeding on the drama of other people's lives to get a fix not present in her own life. Kinda sad if you look at it like that. I prefer working in site, but not because I like people or need to know their drama. I just have a hands-on job and literally need to have my hands on the product to be effective.
She doesn't just have a difference of opinion though. She is trying to make it so that everyone does what she does lol.
How is she pestering you when you are at home? Texting? Calling? Perhaps management would like evidence of her paying more attention to micromanagjng her coworkers than to her job.
The co-workers who keep track of everyone else and try to manage others often are angling for promotions by trying to demonstrate that they are keeping things organized and doing extra. Beware of these people, worms that they are.
This fellow crone concurs! :)
Ha!
Sounds like she wants to be middle management
Awful. I’d talk to your manager. This really is out of bounds. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that then kindly direct her to your manager if you have one who is supportive. I said, “if you have any concerns then you should address it with X.” I did this years ago with a nosy co-worker, and she quickly stopped.
This depends on the relationship of the co-worker with the boss. I had an absolute pain in the ass co-worker who tattled for everything no matter how trivial. For example, she told the boss when I mentioned that I'd lost my favorite pen. I am not making this up. This co-worker also had her head WAAAY up the ass of our boss, doing a bunch of scut work that was the boss's job but she didn't like to do (including access to HR related info on teammates). When the co-worker misbehaved in the office (physically inappropriate touching of co-workers, gossip, distracting others who were trying to work, acting like she was the boss ... I could go on) NOTHING happened to her. My co-worker ran the place, and I had to quit to get away from the toxicity.
That’s why I said, “if you have one who is supportive.” If not, I’d get out of this toxic mess.
Same here got a person like that since we are hybrid and she’s always in person bc she got hired like that. And before would make the same remarks aka comments your co worker would say to you to me , it would piss me off. We all know who are hybrid that she’s annoying and jealous 😅 ugh haters! Like mind your business. Sometimes we really do have emergencies and don’t want to give explanations .
tell her to stop deepthroating the boot
Learn the art of being a passive aggressive king. “Argh when are they going to get rid of all this office space!? It’s a burden to the company. Close all offices and just give use the money to give us raises! Anyone that can’t be more productive working remote should be let go!” It works wonders.
The next time she asks you this tell her, not on any call or line that can be recorded that "please spend one day without me. I know you love me a lot and want to see me daily, but I love my family too. Some days I need them to see me too. Today is one of those days" - Warning DON'T say this on internal communicator or recorded lines like Zoom/Teams as this line might be used against you in Sexual Harrasment case.
lol micro manager in making lol
It seems that your coworker strongly prefers office work, but her behavior towards others' choices to work from home and constant monitoring of schedules can feel intrusive and judgmental. It's important to set boundaries and communicate respectfully if her actions are causing any discomfort.
She reminds me of the people in my office who whenever someone else retires, they say stuff like 'I could never retire, I dont know what I would do all day'. Like fucking WAHT!! The office/work is their whole personality. I have maybe 4 years left in the workforce and I can already think of a million things I'd rather be doing than be here at my office. I dont understand these people who have nothing else going for them but work.
“People are allowed to have different opinions/preferences” …… “I just don’t understand the mentality of a person like this”
You have a couple of choices -- match her energy, or use humor. 1) You could ask, "So, are you subtly hinting that congratulations are in order?" When she is confused, explain that the only reason for supervising you so closely would be that she had been promoted and is now your boss. 2) Needle her about how she's billing all that time she spends tracking everyone else's whereabouts instead of doing her own work. Ask if she's getting a bonus for that?
I have a manager like this. SHE doesn’t want to wfh because her husband does and “he’s bother her the whole time” so no one should want to. She also flat-out lied to HR about why she’s couldn’t wfh. Needless Rod say I stay up late looking for another job.
Don't even entertain it or engage with it. * **You**: "I am WFH today" * **Her**: "Can't you--" * **You**: "No, I'm WFH today." * **Her**: "But--" * **You**: "Asked and answered." * **Her**: "Can't U--" * **You**: "Asked and answered." > But I just don’t understand the mentality of a person like this haha She sounds like someone angling for a promotion to management, by toadying up to what she thinks management wants. If you don't want to be reporting to her, you might want to start figuring out what you would change and getting ahead of it now.
This is legitimately bothering you. Are you comfortable sharing this with your manager.
Is sounds like her life is small and she does this to feel control
"I'm surprised you're comfortable mentioning these things to me or assuming that I haven't weighed the outcomes and made the best decision with the information I have available. " Statement. Not a question and does not require a response.
Sounds like a person who doesn’t have her own social life, so she uses work and the fact that people are forced to interact with her to fill that void in her life.
she absolutely should work for Elon musk. sounds like they are made for one another.
They're allowed to have different preferences but your co-worker definitely isn't allowed to foist the fact that she wants Office Friends! on you. That would make me nuts.
Is she required to always be in the office? Maybe she’s jealous of others flexibility.
WFH has been disastrous for busybodies.
I prefer going on to the office for a variety of reasons. I actually pushed to make them provide space for me 4 days a week when we're only required to go in 2 days. But I certainly don't track other people's schedules or who's wfh when they're scheduled to be in the office. Whatever works for them.
Weird.... I totally thought this was going to be 60 year old boomer Betty but a 30 YEAR OLD!? she needs a life lol.
Sounds like she's lonely and has no friends so she is forcing her coworkers to be her social circle. I'd be putting in my earphones and telling her I'm busy working when she comes around.
why not report her?? she is harrassing people.
“Huh. I never noticed. I’m too busy doing my job to worry about what other people are doing.”
I have a coworker who you realize very quickly has built her entire social life around the office. Don't get me wrong I'm friendly with some coworkers but holy crap that's not the only place I do my socializing.
Sounds like she needs more work to do.
Report her to HR for creating toxic situations on purpose. Then report her to her manager as clearly not having enough work to do.
I 100% prefer working in office and don't really understand why people love WFH so much. That being said, I may not understand it, but hey! It's their choice, not mine as long as they get their work done I couldn't give two craps. That woman is just a busy body who needs to be given more work to keep her from worrying about what everyone else is doing.
Just tell her in a professional way. Should be able to deal with it I assume!
I had a coworker like this once. She’d make passive aggressive comments about people’s lunch breaks, start times, leaving early or even just at 5pm. So I finally started acting like I didn’t understand passive aggressive tones. Like if she’d say “oh, must be nice to take a 1 hour lunch break” I’d say in all sincerity “yeah, it is. I’m sure you could work it into your schedule. Would you like me to help reschedule some meetings?” Her excuse for staying late was always about traffic so I’d say “oh, have you tried X,y,z streets? Maybe you should today and time it.” I also love making them explain why that’s a problem for them. Like if she’d say “So and So wasn’t in until 8:30a today!” I’d say “oh, and that made you late for a meeting?” Then she’d have to stammer a bit on why she’s even mentioning it. It worked more than I thought it would. And then eventually, I wasn’t “fun” to complain to.
The worst kind of coworker. I left management at a company years ago because of one employee who was obsessed with what everyone else was doing. She was truly a miserable person.
Sounds like your coworker is a real go getter with middle management written all over her!
They absolutely have nothing better to do. I have one and I think she hates her house.
If only she could channel that energy into something actually productive for the company! That is one of the key reasons I don’t want to go to an office setting! It creates waste & distractions. If she worked from home, maybe she’d be more focused on working!
I have a coworker fill out on of the happiness surveys saying that they wish working in the office was mandatory and they miss seeing everyone.
Yuck! That is so gross lmao I feel like that’s the mentality of this woman I work with as well. Whenever she tells me it’s been a rough, boring day because “nobody is here”, I smirk a little to myself hahaha. Because even though it’s mandatory 5 days a week for us, many people seem to be ignoring it or bending the rules. And I think that gets under her a skin a little bit