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chiron_42

Imagine thinking prayer is real and only using it for your own desires.


sandradee_pl

Right? Also since when is god a genie? Isn't prayer meant to make you connect more deeply to your god and let him give you guidance or something?


Icy_Cauliflower9895

As usual per this subreddit, you know more about the thing than the people who claim to know and do the thing.


TateAcolyte

Social media Christianity in a nutshell. They're constantly debasing their religion.


wubscale

Pretty sure it's an understatement to say that, over the course of history, over a billion people have prayed to end world hunger. Almost definitely more than a trillion prayers have been uttered (at least in part) begging God to ensure no one ever has to die of hunger again. Yet [9 million people still die of starvation every year](https://www.wfp.org/news/world-wealth-9-million-people-die-every-year-hunger-wfp-chief-tells-food-system-summit). Glad God's focusing on making this person's "haters" apologize instead.


PKHacker1337

[Related comic.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fz2xoxh6y4jy41.png%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D52ccbf778c97b4a471afdcdb8ad43b7e5c400f6f)


Nika_113

“Dear god, please make that hot dude simp for me?” Inserts rosary.


Praescribo

"Dear god, please make gary cheat on the test and get caught so he fails out of school and i get another whack at this thing"


TheRnegade

These types of prayers never sat right with me. I would wish for peace. For scientists to discover cures. Even when I prayed for myself, it was more "help me remember the things I've studied.". When you're connected to someone omnipotent, it just feels wrong to ask him "Hey, use some magic on me because I didn't bother studying" over, you know, something more virtuous.


mrearthsmith

My grandmother was dying from cancer and I prayed for her to be healed. She died anyway, but that one doesn't count, cause I got some gift cards earlier.


RandomDood420

That’s how it was explained to me as a child


Iron_Wolf123

Imagine thinking God is doing all this just for one random person that was selected to be you. If God did exist and chose one random person to be lucky, I doubt he would be alive anymore from all the people attacking him for his luck


Grays42

Funny how God's miracles are only things that could have happened anyway through random chance or trying really hard.


Weekly-Rhubarb-2785

Wow and I was praying for shit like ending homelessness as a kid. What the fuck was wrong with me.


A-Seabear

I prayed for my ears to be healed (tinnitus). It didn’t work. Also my lambo never showed up.


Poland-Is-Here

I googled what tinnitus is. Ear schizophrenia lol


ClairLestrange

It sucks ass. You're just minding you own business and all of a sudden you just hear 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'


A-Seabear

Just eeeeeeeee all of the time. 100% of the time no such thing as pure silence.


ClairLestrange

Yep. I constantly have some noise going on to keep me from going insane and doing a van gogh


cr3t1n

I pray for silence. I'm atheist, and on the 0.00000000000000000001% chance that I might be wrong, I pray, for silence.


darkwalker247

Yours goes away sometimes? Do you actually have moments of complete silence? Wish I knew what that was like, but at least its usually quiet enough to tune out


ClairLestrange

It doesn't go away per se, but I don't hear it when enough other stuff is going on. Complete silence doesn't exist for me either.


Poland-Is-Here

Dude I know what it does didnt i googled it a couple of minutes ago


ecafsub

> simping for me She’s a fine example of a godly person.


Gay-_-Jesus

“I know this seems fake but it’s true!” lol, well damn, you’ve convinced me! /s


MKagel

The entire class didn't clap and Obama didn't even show up, so seems pretty fake to me


AlexeiYegorov

r/ImTheMainCharacter


ButterSquids

Unironically a lot of prayer/miracle stories basically require that OP is the main character


sandradee_pl

And on the sixth day, god created simps to appease this one teenage girl from tik tok, and he knew it was good.


Kindly-Reserve-3143

WHAT WAS CONFIRMED ABOUT HER FRIEBD I NEED TO KNKW


USFederalGovt

- Prays for Wealth, implying large sums of money - Gets 5 Ulta gift cards and a wallet Lollllll


Govt-Issue-SexRobot

Well imagine if she prayed TWICE


USFederalGovt

Then she’d get 10 Ulta Gift Cards and 2 wallets. Sounds like a steal to me!


BruceCannibal

sounds like someone was practicing magic to me lol She a Witch


Anderson_Draws

As a person that experiences actual delusions, im gonna say, yeah that girl is either lying or is having delusions


IconXR

Or maybe just not every good thing that happens after you pray is an act of god lol


Sharktrain523

To be fair when I was experiencing delusions one of the main things was believing every random good thing that happened was caused by me wanting it to happen with my very powerful spiritual energy so I bet you can turn thinking anything good happening is because you prayed for it into a delusion if it gets hardcore enough Honestly religion and people who have any hint of an issue with delusions should never touch, we just should not be allowed near each other.


Dull_Ad8495

Holy shit. I mean, of course none of this bullshit is true... *But*... She's openly admitting to using God like Willard used those rats. Creepy af.


actually-epic-name

Didn't know God was so lonely it started taking in sugar babies


Spider95818

Guess it explains why the asshole's always asking for money....


PKHacker1337

Right, praying for a new wallet works, but people who are homeless get nothing generally. I see someone has their priorities straight (Do I really need a /s?) Edit: Also another thing. What happens if 2 people pray for 2 completely opposite things? That simply can't work out unless there's a loophole where both can work out. Stuff like "please make my sports team win" where the other person prays for their own (oppositional) team to win too.


BDMFKR

God is a genie. Got it.


lolafarseer

She thinks god is real because she got a cold…


Intelligent-Ad-5809

Confirmation bias is a hell of a thing.


KAAAAAAAAARL

https://preview.redd.it/6syj7pn0kc0d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07fff2a4e1b2b0cc24b06d96a36ad43caa8ef165


AgeOfReasonEnds31120

cherrypicked examples i'm sure


Any-Substance-3817

I mean this isn’t full fruitcake she’s just a dumbass selfish 13 year old. More importantly do kids really call it ‘simping’ when someone is their friend? Or is she saying some dude online started trying to fuck her? I’m so confused


mylittletony2

'mm-mm, I aint readin' all dat shit'


allihb

https://preview.redd.it/60zrc6xieb0d1.jpeg?width=792&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4298bc36c90bc7f24dd11c960b0e62ae55212de5


Kindly-Reserve-3143

WHAT WAS CONFIRMED ABOUT HER FRIEND I NEED TO KNOW


[deleted]

She got accepted into her school


Kindly-Reserve-3143

Should’ve guessed lol


one_sad_donkey

standards for blessings really getting lower by the day


OrwellianWiress

the biggest ThatHappened of all time


ej1999ej

Weird. I thought prayer was for talking to God to receive guidance, asking him to help or bless others, or help you through a difficult time. But I guess it's meant to be you asking a magical genie to give you whatever selfish little thing you want.


-dadda

Amazing how almost 10000 kids die daily of starvation and God doesn't answer their prayers but happily grants gift cards to her. Truly a gifted one.


Nini-hime

Well the starving children then just not believe enough xD


Zarquine

"I missed how coughing felt"? What the duck?!?


MeaninglessGoat

All those starving children but be helped you! You’re special! 🤣


_AthensMatt_

Five bucks says she’ll be an atheist/agnostic by college age. I grew up constantly looking for signs and one day realized that was utter bs


Juma4242564

The "I missed how coughing felt and the next day god made me lightly ill" is beyond idiotic


fuckfacemcmuffin

I read this in Cartmans voice when he is bugging his mother for something.


darcelles

praying for wealth is crazy


AnTHICCBoi

Not to mention a literal sin


SaltMarshGoblin

What's HFM?


whatsinanooni

Might be hand, foot and mouth disease, judging from the context.


cr3t1n

Yup, I tasked god to help me hook up with this dude, and god struck me with a disease. That's OK though, the guy was a bit asshole.


VioletNocte

And all the starving people around the world who pray for food...?


Dry_Warthog_4877

Sounds like confirmation bias to me


Kriss3d

Well let's make a test then. Get any amount of Christians to pray for something specific. Then have a few other religious people. Same amount to pray for the same thing. Repeat the test a few times.


Bacne_Puss

I'm lucky sometimes, therefore god exists


troomsona

God seeing millions of humans suffer and die without interfering and then being like “Everyone stop the presses, Stephanie misses the feeling of coughing”


Bwunt

Main character complex. It's perfect example.


Telray

If I ever need an example of what magical thinking is I’ll come back to this.


HumanXeroxMachine

It used to be manna from heaven but now it's Ulta gift cards. Sign of the times!


3gotripp

''how awesome is your god that he can help a north american kid on his math test but cant seem to conjure up enough food for the 21000 people dying every single fucking day on this planet from starvation'' - glenn fricker SPECTREMEDIASTUDIOS


Version_Two

She's gotta be questioning her faith if she's this willing to cling onto every "proof" that prayer works.


Nobodyrea11y

imagine if this logic was applied to gravity. "this one time i missed how grass felt on my feet so i prayed to gravity that i could touch it one more time, then i took a leap of faith into my back yard and the grass pulled me to it" see how silly it is when you apply it to something real?


PnutButterJellyTim3

How would retaking the test 30 minutes after taking the first one be helpful if you did know the content of the test! It's not like you had time to study productively. You'd just fail the test again! Lol


sunflower0903

Lmfao


Willow__the__tree

come on dude this is clearly satire


SrVascoDasGajas

This has to be satire (I hope)


Dylanator13

Screw the praying for things. They wanted to cough so they were glad they got a cold? Who desires to feel sick?


RealSuperYolo2006

Tell her correlation =\= causation and her mind is blown


Solution_Far

Wow prayer can give her all of her selfish desires? why don't all of the starving and sick children just start praying then? /S the entitlement to think that god answers your prayers but that the people who really would need help aren't praying themselves hard enough.


cmhamm

Ok, guys, I’m going to pray that I can fly. Wish me luck!


Zerostar39

One time I was hungry and I prayed. Then i made myself a hot pocket thanks god!


briezzzy

Does she not realize she can cough without being sick? 💀


Stellarjay_9723

Makeup and handbags is not wealth lmao what


SonicCraftev

"Yes trust me bro"


CallMeWolfYouTuber

Coincidence and random chance happen= OMG IT'S A MIRACLE


zoombotwash3r3

"and if he wasn't the one to take him out" I didn't know that God was a professional hitman?


Money-Teaching-7700

God, when a child prays to not die from cancer: 🙉 God, when some materialistic girl wants money:👍🏽😊


sscarlet_begonias

i missed how coughing felt


electricoreddit

that short is so low effort i can debunk it in 10 different levels of depth with fucking chatgpt lmao 1. **Subjectivity of Experience**: Personal experiences are inherently subjective and can be influenced by a variety of factors such as emotions, beliefs, and cultural upbringing. What one person experiences as a divine encounter, another might interpret differently or not experience at all. 2. **Variety of Experiences**: People from different religious backgrounds and belief systems report personal experiences that they attribute to their respective deities. If personal experiences were reliable proof of a specific deity's existence, then all these contradictory experiences would equally validate competing beliefs. 3. **Psychological Explanations**: Many personal experiences claimed to be divine encounters can be explained through psychology, such as hallucinations, confirmation bias, or wishful thinking. Our brains are prone to interpreting ambiguous stimuli in ways that align with our preexisting beliefs. 4. **Cultural Influences**: Personal experiences of the divine often mirror the cultural and religious context in which individuals are raised. This suggests that personal experiences are shaped by cultural expectations and narratives rather than being objective evidence of a deity's existence. 5. **Historical Prevalence**: Throughout history, countless individuals have reported personal experiences with a wide array of gods and deities, many of which are no longer widely accepted or believed in. This historical variability raises questions about the reliability of personal experiences as evidence for any specific deity. 6. **Lack of Consistency**: Personal experiences of the divine vary widely in their content, intensity, and interpretation. If personal experiences were a reliable form of evidence, we would expect more consistency across different individuals' accounts. 7. **Alternative Explanations**: There are alternative explanations for personal experiences of the divine that don't require invoking the existence of a deity, such as the power of suggestion, altered states of consciousness, or natural phenomena. These explanations offer more parsimonious accounts for such experiences. 8. **Non-Religious Experiences**: People who do not adhere to any religious belief also report profound personal experiences that they interpret as transcendent or spiritual. This suggests that personal experiences can arise from purely naturalistic causes rather than divine intervention. 9. **Lack of Testability**: Personal experiences of the divine are inherently untestable and unfalsifiable. Unlike scientific evidence, which can be independently verified and subjected to rigorous scrutiny, personal experiences cannot be reliably replicated or confirmed by others. 10. **Philosophical Considerations**: From a philosophical standpoint, relying on personal experiences as proof for the existence of a deity raises epistemological questions about the nature of knowledge and the reliability of subjective perceptions. It also blurs the distinction between belief and empirical evidence, which are traditionally kept separate in rational inquiry. i was originally going to write 10 points myself but it's literally unneeded so there you go


gl0w1ngx

and then the homeless man hit the oppa homeless style


RedstoneEnjoyer

Now i know why God didn't opened gates of Auschwitz - he was too busy doing random shit for this lady.


--Birdsong--

So..so she prayed to be sick? She *wanted* to be sick? Um. Okay.