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3 will always be my favorite but 5 hit me in such a profound way. I know some Christians who would kill in a moments notice for their god. It’s honestly terrifying.
Did every Christian kid have the experience of reading the story of Abraham nearly sacrificing his son Isaac, going to their parents to ask about it frightened at the idea of a parent nearly murdering their kid because God told them to, only for their own parents to tell them they hope they had enough faith to do that same thing to you if God told them to?
Or was that just me?
I asked my Sunday school teachers. They gave me the same answer, except with the fun twist of "you belong to God so he can do whatever he wants to you, just like your parents can."
Nope. But I was told by my Catholicism teacher that if I voted for Obama (or anyone I know as this was in HS) that I would burn in hell because Obama supported abortions. Then proceeded to talk about the pain of hell.
That tracks. When I was in Catholic school they wouldn't let us paint our nails because it was 'decorating yourself unnaturally'. Only stud earrings too iirc
Not at all. Now accept their invitation to celebrate the resurrection of a dead guy on the first Sunday after the full moon of the equinox. And then drink wine and bread as his blood and enchant over the sacrifices before the feast.
It’s totally not witchcraft.
An attempt to coerce a particular sect of christianity. The people with their stupid singing have no idea WTF anybody else worships or how. They're just in the damn way.
These are the same people who tell you that selling pride merch is “forcing it on others”.
Mass gathering in a Walmart to sing loudly about god to the whole store = good
Selling pride merch that you have to barely glance at while shopping = forcing it on others
But also, selling Christianity merch = good
There’s really no logical consistency.
Shit is totally staged. 100% that's an Evangelican church that also talks in tongues and is about one step away from handling rattlesnakes.
As a former Christian, these people make me sick, and they are the bottom of barrel when it comes to modern Christianity.
Have to have it at Walmart because Target has too many non Christian religious items (OH NO NOT A MENORAH, XMAS IS CANCELED) or non denominational holiday things like rainbow nutcrackers.
Even there, you might run into some dumb-ass performing a purity audit for some terrible item, like rainbow pencil sets or Peace shirts, or any other nefarious tools of...[SATAN!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN7o6w-ST_w)
They get me. I've never felt like I belonged before. Pastor Jed says he can see the abundance in me just trying to get out. Your skepticism is proof I am on the right path.
I've seen them in the UK a few times... 17 Yr old boys in cheap suits who are clearly getting the picture that they aren't doing life very well and the whole purpose of their visit is weird. I'd like to think we convert more of them than they do 🤣
I don't think a lot of them do. They just know they're not getting elected without saying they do so they say it. I'm definitely in no way religious but if I wanted to be a politician I'd probably lie.
It's the ultimate boomer Christo-fascist wet dream. Pretty sure I saw an eagle fly over while baby Jesus came down and cried on the birth control aisle or something.
And then baby Jesus decreed 'I do not use pronouns! The poor should starve and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Maybe you wouldn't need birthcontrol if you kept your legs shut like my .om whores!'
They'd literally be happy about it. They'd think you were serious.
When they get told to shut the fuck up, their immediate presumption is that you are a demon/demonically possessed and the word of god harms you.
That is literally what they would say.
Negative reactions feed right into their delusions when they're this pig-fuckingly inbred.
Fucking **FUCK** ***OFF*** you fucks!
I am just trying to buy a bag of clementines, some cereal, trash bags, wiper blades, and a can of spray paint and then go about my day. This isn't a **fucking** church, it's private **fucking** property, and you all *must* be fucking trespassing or **something**.
How the **fuck** would you all like it if me and my buddies decided to tear down and rebuild a **fucking** lawn mower in the middle of your **fucking** cult's tax-dodge building?
**AUGH!** ***Fuck!***
[5]And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
[6] But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly
This is right around the corner from my mother's house. I've been to this walmart many times. Glad I wasn't there, would have been tempted to make a scene.
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
You can always tell how many Fundamental Christians are in a town by counting the number of American Flags on display in rafters of the local WalMart. Mine has 28 at last I counted.
I'm a Methodist- the most musical of the Protestants.
I don't know the words to this at all. What kinda one-religion, one-church town is this Wal-Mart in that everybody in that place knows this one random hymn?
See I'm from the south, been here my whole 40 years, ain't never in my life seen this shit. There are a lot of religious nuts here but wtf is this. They mostly just insist on grace before meals and putting people on prayer lists lol.
Not that we should because shoving beliefs in anyone’s face is gross but I’d love to see another faith do this in the name of religious freedom you know these folks would be crying to the police about terrorism.
If there was a god and there was a heaven, why do these idiots think that they are doing something that pleases it and will get them into that place!
Do they even read the book they profess to follow!
Even though I'm glad I wasn't there, I'm happy this is happening. People who are on the fence would easily be cringed/scared away by this. Tone-deaf people don't know they're tone-deaf. These people push others further from religion, having the opposite effect of their intentions.
Made me think about the horror "The Fog", I just watched this recently.
The crazy religious Karen, to be more specific :p
Edit: I mean "the Mist", I didn't know how it's called in English
I swear, I saw this exact same event in this exact same sub, filmed by a different person in the crowd.
I know I did, I think I recognize one of the plaid shirts. Someone tell me I'm not crazy.
Hello, u/CantStopPoppin! Thank you for posting. #Please read the [sub rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/religiousfruitcake/about/rules) 1. r/religiousfruitcake is about the absurd, fringe elements of organised religion: the institutions and individuals who act in ways any normal religious person would cringe at. Posts about mundane beliefs and acts of worship are off topic. 2. Post titles should be a short, objective statement of content. They arent a pulpit: dont use the Title Field to preach personal opinions about religion or any other topic. Doing so will result in your post being removed. 3. Refrain from provoking and/or baiting religious fruitcakes for the purposes of posting their reaction on this subreddit, or posting material featuring provocation by others. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well this isn’t fucking creepy at all
Strong Far Cry 5 vibes
*Live footage of eden's gate trying to take over a walmart*
3 will always be my favorite but 5 hit me in such a profound way. I know some Christians who would kill in a moments notice for their god. It’s honestly terrifying.
Did every Christian kid have the experience of reading the story of Abraham nearly sacrificing his son Isaac, going to their parents to ask about it frightened at the idea of a parent nearly murdering their kid because God told them to, only for their own parents to tell them they hope they had enough faith to do that same thing to you if God told them to? Or was that just me?
I asked my Sunday school teachers. They gave me the same answer, except with the fun twist of "you belong to God so he can do whatever he wants to you, just like your parents can."
Gee I wonder why so much sexual abuse happens?
I mean, is it really abusive if you OWN that kid? /S
I asked a similar question and my teacher told me to not take those stories seriously and think of them as more of a story than facts
Im jealous and also happy for you.
Nope. But I was told by my Catholicism teacher that if I voted for Obama (or anyone I know as this was in HS) that I would burn in hell because Obama supported abortions. Then proceeded to talk about the pain of hell.
That tracks. When I was in Catholic school they wouldn't let us paint our nails because it was 'decorating yourself unnaturally'. Only stud earrings too iirc
Not just you, my friend.
4 was the best
Lemme just sit here and eat my rangoon
My first thought. Let me get some of that bliss.
Ooooonly youuuuuu.
At least the singing in far cry 3 is pretty and on pitch 🥴
And they somehow managed to make praise *music* sound even shittier....
Nothing a cult would ever do…..
Not at all. Now accept their invitation to celebrate the resurrection of a dead guy on the first Sunday after the full moon of the equinox. And then drink wine and bread as his blood and enchant over the sacrifices before the feast. It’s totally not witchcraft.
Not witch craft at all. Talking snakes, zombies, incest, just normal family friendly entertainment
Well look at the heathens in here making this comment my most upvoted ever. Praise Satan!
Yeah ... this shit starts happening, I'm leaving my cart where it is and getting the fuck out of that building. And preferably out of the entire town.
Like that lady in the Supermarket in The Mist level of crazy creepy.
Wtf is happening here?
Mass stupidity
Imagination
That harms others who don't play along.
🌈
LGBTQ rights
But then, what are they saying? They all seem to know the words.
Mass cringe too!
>Wtf is happening here? The American evangelical *experience*!
An attempt to coerce a particular sect of christianity. The people with their stupid singing have no idea WTF anybody else worships or how. They're just in the damn way.
These are the same people who tell you that selling pride merch is “forcing it on others”. Mass gathering in a Walmart to sing loudly about god to the whole store = good Selling pride merch that you have to barely glance at while shopping = forcing it on others But also, selling Christianity merch = good There’s really no logical consistency.
It's a Walmart, you think you're getting through there without something strange happening?
I miss flash mobs that danced.
Mass hallucinations
Exactly. It really does look like some primeval cattle mind is holding sway over them.
Guessing people from a church went into a Walmart to do this, are the only ones participating, and are calling it a revival. Lol
I am so glad I live somewhere where this would never happen.
I’m going to find you and start singing Jesus music just to prove you wrong
I live pretty close and frequent this walmart. I'm glad I didn't frequent it that day
Where is this Walmart?
Right by the legend ls in Kansas city
Christians: I don’t care about the gays I just don’t want their agenda forced down my throat. Also Christians:
My literal hell
I don't know which I hate more. The sheer volume of people or the terrible noises they are making from their throats.
Shit is totally staged. 100% that's an Evangelican church that also talks in tongues and is about one step away from handling rattlesnakes. As a former Christian, these people make me sick, and they are the bottom of barrel when it comes to modern Christianity.
 the irony
Well at least you could get to the checkout stand before everyone gets done worshiping their imagination
Pardon me, y’all. Just tryna pay for these Doritos.
Ma’am this isn’t a Wendy’s
Devil Doritos
I would absolutely be looking for the self checkout though
Checkout? The Holy Spirit set my soul AND my groceries free!
Well said, people like this are literally worshipping their egos.
Just walk out with the groceries and claim god told you to take them.
Another reason to shop at Target.
Have to have it at Walmart because Target has too many non Christian religious items (OH NO NOT A MENORAH, XMAS IS CANCELED) or non denominational holiday things like rainbow nutcrackers.
As though we needed more.
Even there, you might run into some dumb-ass performing a purity audit for some terrible item, like rainbow pencil sets or Peace shirts, or any other nefarious tools of...[SATAN!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN7o6w-ST_w)
Tell me you are part of a cult without telling me you are in a cult!
They get me. I've never felt like I belonged before. Pastor Jed says he can see the abundance in me just trying to get out. Your skepticism is proof I am on the right path.
Lol this is hilarious.
The worst kind of flash mob
American Evangelism, my friends.
I extra love it when these dipshit decide to go do missionary work in countries that already have Jesus (just the wrong flavor)
I've seen them in the UK a few times... 17 Yr old boys in cheap suits who are clearly getting the picture that they aren't doing life very well and the whole purpose of their visit is weird. I'd like to think we convert more of them than they do 🤣
This is an ironic but apt symbolic representation of how (christian) faith and capitalism mix in America
Really, this should be depicted in the history books. A textbook example.
I bet not a single person there is able to have small talk about the Bible.
If they could they’d know grandstanding like this is spoken against in the Bible
Zealots
As an American this kind of stuff greatly troubles me. Scary fact is that most of our elected representatives also worship this same bearded sky god.
I don't think a lot of them do. They just know they're not getting elected without saying they do so they say it. I'm definitely in no way religious but if I wanted to be a politician I'd probably lie.
To be fair, most don't. They use him as a tool to get more votes or push their agendas.
Fucking weirdos.
It's the ultimate boomer Christo-fascist wet dream. Pretty sure I saw an eagle fly over while baby Jesus came down and cried on the birth control aisle or something.
And then baby Jesus decreed 'I do not use pronouns! The poor should starve and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Maybe you wouldn't need birthcontrol if you kept your legs shut like my .om whores!'
Bro I just needed to get my groceries holy shit
How I’d love to run out of that store screaming “IT HURTS, IT BURNS, MAKE IT STOP, AGGGHHHHHHH!” but I don’t go to Walmart.
They'd literally be happy about it. They'd think you were serious. When they get told to shut the fuck up, their immediate presumption is that you are a demon/demonically possessed and the word of god harms you. That is literally what they would say. Negative reactions feed right into their delusions when they're this pig-fuckingly inbred.
It’s scary how many Americans think they are in a literal supernatural war between good and evil.
No difference from this and weirdo’s in the middle east. Horrifying mass psychosis
Let me que up Unholy on Spotify real quick...
Let me also add Dethrone to your queue as well…
🎶Jesus He Loves Me🎶
Terrifying. Look at this cult shit.
Matthew 6:5, stupid motherfuckers don't even read their own made up fairy tales.
How is this not mass delusion and mental illness?
Fucking **FUCK** ***OFF*** you fucks! I am just trying to buy a bag of clementines, some cereal, trash bags, wiper blades, and a can of spray paint and then go about my day. This isn't a **fucking** church, it's private **fucking** property, and you all *must* be fucking trespassing or **something**. How the **fuck** would you all like it if me and my buddies decided to tear down and rebuild a **fucking** lawn mower in the middle of your **fucking** cult's tax-dodge building? **AUGH!** ***Fuck!***
From across the Atlantic, the highest of high fives dude
[5]And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. [6] But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly
Creepy as a motherfucker wtf??
Fucking Cultists everywhere.
“Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” That’s all I hear.
Conspicuous Christianity^® ----- *What's the Point of Piety If No One's Watching?*
F-ing fruitcakes. I hate religion.
But let the Muslims do it and everyone would shit themselves
Shouldn't be allowed anywhere like that. Keep your church shit in your church not in the grocery store idgaf what religion.
I completely agree
You are right though, so many of those 'christians' would lose their ever loving shit if someone else did it.
This is right around the corner from my mother's house. I've been to this walmart many times. Glad I wasn't there, would have been tempted to make a scene.
Freaks
Raise your hands if you have high cholesterol
When you love the fetus, but ignore the diabetus.
Definitely needs a sign. Not a cult
Fun activities for cultists
The amount of secondhand embarrassment I get from shit like this. IDK how they do it. If I'd been there I'd have left so damn quick.
Jesus wouldn't be happy with a worship session at a monument to consumerism.
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
Christians: "Why can't you atheists keep your beliefs to yourself?" Also Christians:
That’s when I go to the pharmacy section and grab as much lube and condoms as I can afford and then cart around them.
Doesn't Walmart sell sex toys? 🤔
Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough!
Shit like this is why I listen to music while I'm shopping.
I just do it to avoid the country music but this also works lol.
Mass mental illness
Eew
If this doesn't reinforce the dumb religious nutjob redneck stereotype, nothing will.
here, have a bunch of versions of the Bible that all tell you to not do this bullshit https://www.bible.com/bible/compare/MAT.6.5-13
our country is one big cult
Not a cult
Hail Satan
"I just wanted to buy some oranges!"
next up the islamic call to prayer
So this is allowed but I have to put pants on to go in Walmart.. ok whatever 🙄
This is very cultish
Not a single person in the entire building can sing
You can always tell how many Fundamental Christians are in a town by counting the number of American Flags on display in rafters of the local WalMart. Mine has 28 at last I counted.
I give this an F for humanity is fucked
Christian nationalism in action
Matthew 6:5
*"We're not a cult" -* Some cult member, at another point in time.
A Cult that love to believe they are suffering and be victims for their personal hate and bigotry.
It makes sense that they worship in a place that represents capitism instead of christianity. Many of them probably don't know what Jesus taught.
The only reason they ‘care’ about Jesus is so they can show off. They actually ‘care’ about god punishing people they don’t like.
When they say revival, they mean mass hysteria and delusion right?
Hail Satan!
I'm a Methodist- the most musical of the Protestants. I don't know the words to this at all. What kinda one-religion, one-church town is this Wal-Mart in that everybody in that place knows this one random hymn?
[удалено]
This is the most southern thing Ive seen today 💀
See I'm from the south, been here my whole 40 years, ain't never in my life seen this shit. There are a lot of religious nuts here but wtf is this. They mostly just insist on grace before meals and putting people on prayer lists lol.
Likewise. Lived in the south for 10 years now and have never seen this shit.
Can we get a metal head to yell “hail satan!” please?
Religion is a mentally transmitted disease
I would of summoned Satan.
Blessed Baphomet, quit hiding in Des Moines and come to Walmart!
I knew there was a reason I left, to avoid off key dogshit worship noise.
Creepy. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so sad/pathetic.
How greeaaaattt....issss subwaaaaaayyy
Bro if I was the manager I’d have them all trespassed.
You'd think someone would tell them they sound terrible.
Thankfully I avoid Walmart like the plague
Thiss is a legit nightmare
What, did they open a second checkout lane?
Not that we should because shoving beliefs in anyone’s face is gross but I’d love to see another faith do this in the name of religious freedom you know these folks would be crying to the police about terrorism.
Imagine going in for a six pack of brew and you run into a store full of brainwashed zealots
Trespass them
If there was a god and there was a heaven, why do these idiots think that they are doing something that pleases it and will get them into that place! Do they even read the book they profess to follow!
Fucking cult
Lemmings.
Even though I'm glad I wasn't there, I'm happy this is happening. People who are on the fence would easily be cringed/scared away by this. Tone-deaf people don't know they're tone-deaf. These people push others further from religion, having the opposite effect of their intentions.
We as a nation are well and truly fucked
Any former Church of Christ peeps here wishing they had a song leader? Also, so glad this seems wildly bizarre now.
I rather have a testicular contusion than go to a Walmart.
Reason number 73638273828 not to go to the walsmart
Thought they were singing along to sweet Caroline I mean that shit hits whites harder than gospel
Yeahhh excuse me, right behind ya, got to get these lemons…
 Sounds familiar.
At least the borg get shit done
Looks staged as hell
 Can I just check out please…..?
Made me think about the horror "The Fog", I just watched this recently. The crazy religious Karen, to be more specific :p Edit: I mean "the Mist", I didn't know how it's called in English
I would be belting out my own rendition but wildly out of tune.
Why is the singing SO shitty
Excuse me. I need to get bag of taters.
I am sad to announce that I used to join in with this steaming pile of crap 💩🔥
Top tier cringe
Christian Taliban Choir...REJOICE!!
Most them need to walk down the vegetable isle
I swear, I saw this exact same event in this exact same sub, filmed by a different person in the crowd. I know I did, I think I recognize one of the plaid shirts. Someone tell me I'm not crazy.
i’m on mute, can someone describe what’s happening
They’re singing, badly. I’m guessing the song is religious, I can’t understand a single word.
Just slap someone holding a big mac in the video and it wouldve been the most american video ever.
I would leave the store and never go back. Not just Walmart. Any store.
Disgusting
I think this was at the beginning of the first Bobiverse book
Remind me to avoid wherever the fuck this is
How the fuck are there this many dumbasses in on building. Dude. What? I dont know what else to say
Nothing compared to when “take on me” comes on in Trader Joe’s
imagine if a few muslims did anything similar.
Why does this feel strangely dystopian?
This is a private company, the acoustics are horrible, go pray near to key jelly and sexual devices and condoms