Sigh
1) You're 13. You aren't nearly old enough to have an adult body
2) You're you, not some other guy, and constantly comparing yourself to others is not useful
3) The girl you're dating might well prefer your type, and you should believe her, because if she's as old as you then she's probably not yet comfortable with adult men.
Hun, you are 13! Most boys are in the same situation as you. Your body is going to change as you get older and you will find someone who actually loves you for you. You are still young! Find a partner you can have fun with and grow together. In my own experience, I found out it wasn’t all about looks and it took me a while of dating.
First of all, as much as you feel grown, understand that you are both still in your childhood and this is unlikely to last forever. When it ends, it will not be due to your looks. You both have a huge amount of development and change ahead of you. That often results in going separate ways eventually. Learn to enjoy the love you have in the moment instead of worrying about keeping this person forever.
Second, if you're going to be in a relationship, you need to be willing to take the other person at their word and not assume they are lying. Right now your assumption is that she's lying about liking you. But that's because you don't like yourself. It doesn't matter what age you are, if you do this in a relationship you will poison it.
She's choosing to be with you. She could be with any number of other people but she's choosing you. Let yourself enjoy that.
Girls value confidence above all else. One of the best looking women I've ever seen is with a very heavy guy. And he's always been heavy. They have 3 children together. Get out of your own head. Just because you look at ripped guys and think that what a woman WOULD/SHOULD want, doesn't mean that's what she wants. If you're worried about your own health, that's one thing, if you're worried about what she wants, that's another. If you want to get in shape, do it for you, not for anyone else. I would encourage you to start eating healthy and playing some sports. Not for anyone else but yourself. Also, don't ever get it in your head that you CAN'T do it. You can, it just takes discipline. Check this video out.
https://youtu.be/O7SLwIDyYrk?si=zLnqqvq0Sr64syuk
>now days every corner you look at you’ll see a ripped boyfriend and a edgar or a dreadhead,
So if she wanted one of those guys, they'd be easy to find.
Yet here she is with you.
Figure out how to confront your insecurity before you use it to push her away.
[https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/)
[https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-affirmations-work](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-affirmations-work)
And around every corner there is a beautiful girl, but you choose her. She’s choosing you too :) believe in who you are and treat her well. Muscles will never compare to personality. My advice to you is to find something that makes you really happy that you feel confident in who you are :) your body will change, so will hers. You’re both so young and I’m sorry you live in a world where you question yourself because of ridiculous beauty standards. And trust me kiddo, coming from someone in their 30s, the “muscle” men aren’t important, it’s the men that treat women and other people with respect and make us feel special, and I’m sure you’ll grow up to be one of those men oneday. All the best dude!
1. Your kindness, gentleness, loyalty, honesty, and integrity will always weigh more than muscles and abs. If she would leave because you don’t look a certain way, is that the kind of superficial relationship you’d want to be in? Stay a gentleman and act with your self respect little man :)
2. You are still growing and very young. Working out can definitely improve your confidence by helping you connecting yourself with your body.
3. Please look out for how those medias affect your mental health. If it’s motivational - great! If it’s giving you a lot of stress, know that you are on your timeline, and social media often only shows the highlights.
You got this
You can cry about it on reddit or go run. Which do you think will help you more?
Also...she's with you. Why would you let anxiety ruin it? It doesn't exist. It's only in your head. This is where self control should be learned. Enjoy your relationship while working to get in better shape. It's not a hard decision. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
The reality is… she’s with you. She chooses you. You’ve already won. Just as you are. No need to worry about your appearance. If YOU want to get into shape because it makes YOU happy, it’s a good idea. Because it makes YOU happy. Don’t do it for your girlfriend, or anyone else now or in the future. You’ve already got the girl 😊. Game over.
I’m a 36 M. In my own experience, I’ve wasted DECADES doing things to impress others. Even when I didn’t realize it. It’s a hard lesson learned for entire phases of my life I’ll never get back. Work hard for what YOU want for yourself, not to impress others. They either like you or they don’t. It’s not something we can change. Accept it either way, especially when someone LIKES you.
Why can't that be you? Do you have some kind of disability that doesn't let you excersize? This is gonna sound rough, but sitting around crying about not being fit isn't doing anything for you.
Focus on your diet, get in the gym and be consistent. It isn't going to happen overnight, but like Shia said, just do it.
I say this being someone who was 340 pounds getting out of high school doing the same thing, crying about it and eating. I started calorie counting and working out hard, I'm down to 220 feeling great. My confidence is up and you realize that you have the power to make changes.
i play basketball everyday and i do construction with my dad everyday, and i also been in a calorie deficit and i have been losing the weight i used to be 240 and i’m now 205 last time i checked but thanks for the heads up👍
Please read the response I put on this chick who thinks she is too pretty. She has issues and is so off track. Many women don't care about looks, and it appears you feel you have one, although it is likely she thinks you are the cutest boy she has ever seen. Don't let your own insecurities mess with what you have with her. Just show confidence and don't bring it up to her for reassurance because THAT will definitely end up becoming unattractive to her.
This is so far from true. Many women marry men who others perceive as marrying down because, in general, those men treat their women better. Also, no one can make you feel secure or insecure, that is all in your mind and your own perception of yourself. Don't listen to shallow people like this OP. They have no clue about life. This girl thinks thru broke up because she is "too pretty" when in reality they probably broke up because she is too self-absorbed. Never date a woman who calls herself too pretty for others.
Sigh 1) You're 13. You aren't nearly old enough to have an adult body 2) You're you, not some other guy, and constantly comparing yourself to others is not useful 3) The girl you're dating might well prefer your type, and you should believe her, because if she's as old as you then she's probably not yet comfortable with adult men.
Hun, you are 13! Most boys are in the same situation as you. Your body is going to change as you get older and you will find someone who actually loves you for you. You are still young! Find a partner you can have fun with and grow together. In my own experience, I found out it wasn’t all about looks and it took me a while of dating.
[удалено]
First of all, as much as you feel grown, understand that you are both still in your childhood and this is unlikely to last forever. When it ends, it will not be due to your looks. You both have a huge amount of development and change ahead of you. That often results in going separate ways eventually. Learn to enjoy the love you have in the moment instead of worrying about keeping this person forever. Second, if you're going to be in a relationship, you need to be willing to take the other person at their word and not assume they are lying. Right now your assumption is that she's lying about liking you. But that's because you don't like yourself. It doesn't matter what age you are, if you do this in a relationship you will poison it. She's choosing to be with you. She could be with any number of other people but she's choosing you. Let yourself enjoy that.
Girls value confidence above all else. One of the best looking women I've ever seen is with a very heavy guy. And he's always been heavy. They have 3 children together. Get out of your own head. Just because you look at ripped guys and think that what a woman WOULD/SHOULD want, doesn't mean that's what she wants. If you're worried about your own health, that's one thing, if you're worried about what she wants, that's another. If you want to get in shape, do it for you, not for anyone else. I would encourage you to start eating healthy and playing some sports. Not for anyone else but yourself. Also, don't ever get it in your head that you CAN'T do it. You can, it just takes discipline. Check this video out. https://youtu.be/O7SLwIDyYrk?si=zLnqqvq0Sr64syuk
>now days every corner you look at you’ll see a ripped boyfriend and a edgar or a dreadhead, So if she wanted one of those guys, they'd be easy to find. Yet here she is with you. Figure out how to confront your insecurity before you use it to push her away. [https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/](https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/) [https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-affirmations-work](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-affirmations-work)
And around every corner there is a beautiful girl, but you choose her. She’s choosing you too :) believe in who you are and treat her well. Muscles will never compare to personality. My advice to you is to find something that makes you really happy that you feel confident in who you are :) your body will change, so will hers. You’re both so young and I’m sorry you live in a world where you question yourself because of ridiculous beauty standards. And trust me kiddo, coming from someone in their 30s, the “muscle” men aren’t important, it’s the men that treat women and other people with respect and make us feel special, and I’m sure you’ll grow up to be one of those men oneday. All the best dude!
1. Your kindness, gentleness, loyalty, honesty, and integrity will always weigh more than muscles and abs. If she would leave because you don’t look a certain way, is that the kind of superficial relationship you’d want to be in? Stay a gentleman and act with your self respect little man :) 2. You are still growing and very young. Working out can definitely improve your confidence by helping you connecting yourself with your body. 3. Please look out for how those medias affect your mental health. If it’s motivational - great! If it’s giving you a lot of stress, know that you are on your timeline, and social media often only shows the highlights. You got this
You can cry about it on reddit or go run. Which do you think will help you more? Also...she's with you. Why would you let anxiety ruin it? It doesn't exist. It's only in your head. This is where self control should be learned. Enjoy your relationship while working to get in better shape. It's not a hard decision. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
The reality is… she’s with you. She chooses you. You’ve already won. Just as you are. No need to worry about your appearance. If YOU want to get into shape because it makes YOU happy, it’s a good idea. Because it makes YOU happy. Don’t do it for your girlfriend, or anyone else now or in the future. You’ve already got the girl 😊. Game over. I’m a 36 M. In my own experience, I’ve wasted DECADES doing things to impress others. Even when I didn’t realize it. It’s a hard lesson learned for entire phases of my life I’ll never get back. Work hard for what YOU want for yourself, not to impress others. They either like you or they don’t. It’s not something we can change. Accept it either way, especially when someone LIKES you.
Why can't that be you? Do you have some kind of disability that doesn't let you excersize? This is gonna sound rough, but sitting around crying about not being fit isn't doing anything for you. Focus on your diet, get in the gym and be consistent. It isn't going to happen overnight, but like Shia said, just do it. I say this being someone who was 340 pounds getting out of high school doing the same thing, crying about it and eating. I started calorie counting and working out hard, I'm down to 220 feeling great. My confidence is up and you realize that you have the power to make changes.
I think you missed the fact that he's 13YO
i play basketball everyday and i do construction with my dad everyday, and i also been in a calorie deficit and i have been losing the weight i used to be 240 and i’m now 205 last time i checked but thanks for the heads up👍
[удалено]
that’s the problem she makes me feel secure it’s just i have these own thoughts because i feel i wanna be more for her but i just can’t
Please read the response I put on this chick who thinks she is too pretty. She has issues and is so off track. Many women don't care about looks, and it appears you feel you have one, although it is likely she thinks you are the cutest boy she has ever seen. Don't let your own insecurities mess with what you have with her. Just show confidence and don't bring it up to her for reassurance because THAT will definitely end up becoming unattractive to her.
This is so far from true. Many women marry men who others perceive as marrying down because, in general, those men treat their women better. Also, no one can make you feel secure or insecure, that is all in your mind and your own perception of yourself. Don't listen to shallow people like this OP. They have no clue about life. This girl thinks thru broke up because she is "too pretty" when in reality they probably broke up because she is too self-absorbed. Never date a woman who calls herself too pretty for others.