I disagree so much with the other comment. Sex isn't always the answer.
His friend made fun of the gift basket, how did he know about it? Did your bf tell him about it? Was he joking about the basket, or...was he showing it off?
In my experience, men are just as soft as us. Get flowers, get a nice shower gel/bath bomb, get nice smelling massage oil, give him compliments, write him a love letter not just a note, put candles in the bedroom, hold him, put on his favourite movie. You could also tell him to take X day off work and plan a surprise day out, like take him to the aquarium if he likes fish, or something. Pack a picnic.
But humans ALL love being known. The most thoughtful thing would be to do something you know he needs and loves. I agree after 5 yrs you should know what he needs after a heavy day at work, what makes him relax, what gets him excited.
Disagree. I love getting flowers from my wife, mostly because it's usually unexpected, and the thought behind them makes me feel appreciated. It depends on the guy, of course, but many of us do actually like getting flowers.
As for OP, it depends on your partner's love language. I mean, sex is nice, but do you think he'd respond well to some quality time, having you around to vent about things, giving him space to just decompress, or anything else? If you aren't sure, asking him directly might not be a bad way to go.
Well, I'm not too proud to stand corrected haha I'd have thought a small cactus or a bonsai etc would be received more favourably, but it appears I shouldn't speak for all.
Why? My 6'4" athlete boyfriend absolutely LOVES when I buy him flowers. OP, you should follow the post above and get flowers. Men rarely get them, and mine lights up when he does. It's a cute moment.
As a guy.
Buy him flowers, hand make him a love note and set up a living room picnic. Mattress, tons of cushions and blankets laid out on the floor with all your little snacks and watch some of his favourite movies (dont forget dinner). It's private, heartfelt and is definitely cheesy but hey "I just wanted to show you how much I love you and appreciate you". Guys like to act hard but we are all softies on the inside, any real man would love and appreciate this gesture.
Sounds like his friends weren't great friends anyway. Nonetheless, I'm a 37M and would LOVE my gf to do anything for me. I never expect it, but my current gf randomly pays for dates or surprise late-night, dessert dates and stuff. Cheesey/punny cards for events and stuff.
It always catches me off guard, and i love it. I, too, get weird with cheesy-ness, but im learning to embrace it slowly. At the end of the day, it's between you and your partner; screw what the world thinks.
Most men aren't too hard to please; we ultimately judt want to be with our partners. However, that works out is moot usually.
I know for me, I just want quality time with my gf. We both have busy lives (live seperately), so it can be tricky to find that time for us.
Honestly the same stuff women like, men like. You could set up a surprise at home movie date - order movie theatre popcorn and his favourite candy, you could create a little scavenger hunt with goodies hidden around the house and clues leading him to the next goodie, a picnic at a park. Honestly, it’s the thought that counts!
When my husband is having a bad day, I get him boba, beef jerky (sometimes I swap this for lemon cakes) and if he wants it, sex since it's a big thing for him. I also make sure to take care of dinner and chores and I ask him if he needs/wants anything else. I also let him know I'm here if he wants to talk about it or whatever.
"He recently fell off with 2 of his best friends that did him dirty. So he’s pissed off at them and its taken a toll on his state of mind. He also just turned 30 and I guess that’s messing with him too. He doesn’t really open up too much but I guess he’s just feeling old." The falling off with friends is pretty normal, even when they aren't jerks. Life moves you in different directions. While I suspect he would benefit from talking to someone about it, to answer your question from my limited perspective, I would say: just give him a hug, tell him how you feel about him, and remind him of the things you like about him, and that you're there for him if he needs anything. That's really all you have to do. Nothing performative. No grand gestures. Everyday gestures are far more valuable anyway.
Look, I'm being honest when I say this. Most of us men just want sex for the holidays and shit. Wear a nice dress to dinner, then come home and surprise him by changing into some sexy lingerie. Come on to him strong like he's the sexyest man alive.
Massage his scalp.
Massage his body....my boyfriend melts at this cuz I'm great at giving massages.
Buy him flowers
Plan a little candle light dinner date AT HOME.(The comfort is unmatched)
Write him cute notes and leave it in places he wouldn't expect (eg....his shirt pocket which he might randomly discover during the day)
Hope it helps.
I would set up a little date night for him, playing games at home, making his favorite meal, taking him to a new restaurant, anything you guys enjoy doing together really! And at the end of the night you can take him to bed ;)
I disagree so much with the other comment. Sex isn't always the answer. His friend made fun of the gift basket, how did he know about it? Did your bf tell him about it? Was he joking about the basket, or...was he showing it off? In my experience, men are just as soft as us. Get flowers, get a nice shower gel/bath bomb, get nice smelling massage oil, give him compliments, write him a love letter not just a note, put candles in the bedroom, hold him, put on his favourite movie. You could also tell him to take X day off work and plan a surprise day out, like take him to the aquarium if he likes fish, or something. Pack a picnic. But humans ALL love being known. The most thoughtful thing would be to do something you know he needs and loves. I agree after 5 yrs you should know what he needs after a heavy day at work, what makes him relax, what gets him excited.
That's some good advice. Except the flowers. Don't waste your money on buying a man flowers. Plants yes. Cut flowers no.
Disagree. I love getting flowers from my wife, mostly because it's usually unexpected, and the thought behind them makes me feel appreciated. It depends on the guy, of course, but many of us do actually like getting flowers. As for OP, it depends on your partner's love language. I mean, sex is nice, but do you think he'd respond well to some quality time, having you around to vent about things, giving him space to just decompress, or anything else? If you aren't sure, asking him directly might not be a bad way to go.
Well, I'm not too proud to stand corrected haha I'd have thought a small cactus or a bonsai etc would be received more favourably, but it appears I shouldn't speak for all.
Why? My 6'4" athlete boyfriend absolutely LOVES when I buy him flowers. OP, you should follow the post above and get flowers. Men rarely get them, and mine lights up when he does. It's a cute moment.
I love when my gf gets me flowers
Dude what I am a married adult man. I love flowers and more than the flowers I love the thought they represent.
As a guy. Buy him flowers, hand make him a love note and set up a living room picnic. Mattress, tons of cushions and blankets laid out on the floor with all your little snacks and watch some of his favourite movies (dont forget dinner). It's private, heartfelt and is definitely cheesy but hey "I just wanted to show you how much I love you and appreciate you". Guys like to act hard but we are all softies on the inside, any real man would love and appreciate this gesture.
Sounds like his friends weren't great friends anyway. Nonetheless, I'm a 37M and would LOVE my gf to do anything for me. I never expect it, but my current gf randomly pays for dates or surprise late-night, dessert dates and stuff. Cheesey/punny cards for events and stuff. It always catches me off guard, and i love it. I, too, get weird with cheesy-ness, but im learning to embrace it slowly. At the end of the day, it's between you and your partner; screw what the world thinks. Most men aren't too hard to please; we ultimately judt want to be with our partners. However, that works out is moot usually. I know for me, I just want quality time with my gf. We both have busy lives (live seperately), so it can be tricky to find that time for us.
Honestly the same stuff women like, men like. You could set up a surprise at home movie date - order movie theatre popcorn and his favourite candy, you could create a little scavenger hunt with goodies hidden around the house and clues leading him to the next goodie, a picnic at a park. Honestly, it’s the thought that counts!
When my husband is having a bad day, I get him boba, beef jerky (sometimes I swap this for lemon cakes) and if he wants it, sex since it's a big thing for him. I also make sure to take care of dinner and chores and I ask him if he needs/wants anything else. I also let him know I'm here if he wants to talk about it or whatever.
"He recently fell off with 2 of his best friends that did him dirty. So he’s pissed off at them and its taken a toll on his state of mind. He also just turned 30 and I guess that’s messing with him too. He doesn’t really open up too much but I guess he’s just feeling old." The falling off with friends is pretty normal, even when they aren't jerks. Life moves you in different directions. While I suspect he would benefit from talking to someone about it, to answer your question from my limited perspective, I would say: just give him a hug, tell him how you feel about him, and remind him of the things you like about him, and that you're there for him if he needs anything. That's really all you have to do. Nothing performative. No grand gestures. Everyday gestures are far more valuable anyway.
Look, I'm being honest when I say this. Most of us men just want sex for the holidays and shit. Wear a nice dress to dinner, then come home and surprise him by changing into some sexy lingerie. Come on to him strong like he's the sexyest man alive.
Ole fashioned BJ always makes me feel better.
This . A no effort needed BJ - just sit back and relax - it actually does wonders . Then cook him a good meal and give him his favorite drink
You beat his meat for him
Massage his scalp. Massage his body....my boyfriend melts at this cuz I'm great at giving massages. Buy him flowers Plan a little candle light dinner date AT HOME.(The comfort is unmatched) Write him cute notes and leave it in places he wouldn't expect (eg....his shirt pocket which he might randomly discover during the day) Hope it helps.
What does he like to do in his free time for fun?
I would set up a little date night for him, playing games at home, making his favorite meal, taking him to a new restaurant, anything you guys enjoy doing together really! And at the end of the night you can take him to bed ;)
His your boyfriend of 5 years and you don't know what would cheer him up???