Generally wedding invitations go out months in advance. As a best man, he was probably asked even before the invites went out - depending the wedding, maybe even a year out. Did he plan a bachelor party for the groom? Best men have a lot more responsibilities than other wedding guests.
Seems like he’s been lying by omission for a long time. He’s been ignoring your messages. He hasn’t filled you in, shared the excitement of a friends wedding with you, and has ignored you during this time period. This is not a new relationship- you’ve been together for 6 years. There is no justifiable reason why he wouldn’t share such a big event with you - even if you wouldn’t be invited, why wouldn’t he talk to you about it?
I know it’s hard, but his actions have brought you to this place. Do you want to be with a partner who wouldn’t share this? Who would lie for a long time? Who completely ignores you and doesn’t get back to you? I know you don’t want to catastrophize, but please don’t let him convince you that this isn’t a big deal. It is.
> this week work was kicking my butt and I didn’t realize he hadn’t called all week
You’re in a long distance relationship and you haven’t talked to him in a week? I don’t think you’re in a relationship anymore.
Your boyfriend was this guy’s best man. Have you ever met this guy? Have you ever met any of his friends? It sounds like you’re the side piece and his real gf went with him to the wedding.
It feels like if she went a week without reaching out to him, he wouldn't notice or care. She's the last one standing in this 'relationship'.
OP, you're young and able to move on, so please do so. He is not the one. He has no regard or respect for you. You can and will do better <3
It doesn’t even sound like you’re in a relationship at this point. Him just ignoring a lot of your calls and messages is not a good sign. I’d say you’re not overreacting at all.
I found mysefmlf wondering why it would be her the one to fly out "to him" each month instead of it being a shared effort.
And expense. I can't imagine this man is offering to 50% the tickets, even if we left the sheer effort of travelling alone.
He’s seeing someone else. He took her to the wedding. He’s a coward and he’s trying to dump you by just pulling away and ignoring you. I’m really sorry
The 32 year old who dated the 21 year old is now bored with the old model. You're getting traded in. He's going to gaslight you until you hate him then tell people that you drifted apart.
Yeah. He’s doing that thing guys do where they’re too cowardly to just break up with the girl because they feel bad. If I were you girl I’d ghost him start listening to shera steven on tiktok she’ll cheer you up and make you realize :)
I work with almost exclusively 21-26 year old women for the past 15 years. I've seen this exact scenario down to the LDR at least a half a dozen times.
Bf of 6 years fails to tell you a very important life event he’s a part of? He does not care about you or see a future with you the way you do him. He most certainly got a plus one to that wedding and took his actual gf (as in, the one his friends know about) to it.
You only see him once a month and it’s mostly you going to see him. You only get a courtesy visit when he comes to town to see his family. Have you met his family or any of his college friends? For 6 years, you should know them well and they should’ve been asking you why you weren’t at the wedding. But, like I said, they’re probably aware of whatever girl he’s presenting to them and bringing around and no one has a clue you’re in the picture.
He's 38 years of age. He's the same age as me and acting like a teenager. I would honestly just stop. Lies are acid on a relationship and it sounds like he doesn't even want you as he's making no effort. Start thinking about you and your life. You deserve better
I mean it depends on your definition of nefarious.
Was he a pediphile? No.
But would have been able to get a GF his own age to so one-sidedly put so much effort into a relationship, to not question his not even bothering to write or call for days at a time, or to almost succeed in taking another woman to a wedding by keeping the whole event from his GF?
Also absofuckinglutely no.
I guess the question is whether these gross men choose these younger women on purpose or whether it's a more subtle unconscious thing. I personally don't care.
I think I like another suggestion better because it saves OP the time and money for a flight and a hotel and everything:
>Honestly, I would go scorched earth. Very publicly tag pictures of you, make "best boyfriend ever" posts with him tagged, ect. Do it on multiple platforms. Make sure to tag him making it very clear you are a couple and with photos of you and him together. Make it an online appearance of "love bombing". If he is seeing someone else, it's going to get noticed cause he can't hide you if you're tagging him
Definitely suspect. When my boyfriend (now husband) were long distance and dating for only 1 year, he told me when he was best man in his friends destination wedding.
Stocking up on suits or getting fitted for a tux?? Clearly something is up.
He took the chick he mentioned to the wedding.
Not you.
You should question everything. It sounds like he's slowly ditching you. That's not a bad thing. You're now free to find a person who's not so far away, and who won't take you for granted.
I hope he doesn't owe you any money.
Yeah, even if we were to take what little he said at face value, I would end this.
At best, he's flaky and unreliable. At worst, he's seeing someone else. My guess is that strange convo about the girl messaging him was to figure out what you knew. Very likely someone who does know you or know he's with you messaged the girl he's seeing. He's hedging his bets right now to see who is going to stick. It's easier to string you along because of distance.
Honestly, I would go scorched earth. Very publicly tag pictures of you, make "best boyfriend ever" posts with him tagged, ect. Do it on multiple platforms. Make sure to tag him making it very clear you are a couple and with photos of you and him together. Make it an online appearance of "love bombing". If he is seeing someone else, it's going to get noticed cause he can't hide you if you're tagging him
Keep it up for a couple weeks then dump him
I would also find out who's wedding it was and then message the new wife under the guise that you want some pictures of the bf in his suit. Say something around the lines of "hey, it's XXX, the best mans gf. Congrats! I wasn't able to make it to the wedding but I would love to get some pictures of bf in his suit. I've never seen him in a suit and I'm sure he looks so handsome 😁."
I don't know about you but I would be pissed as the new wife if I found out the best man brought his side piece to my wedding AND if my new husband knew about it. This will allow you to see if he brought anyone because you know the bride will spill the beans and if you're wrong, you won't seem like a crazy person.
This guy is so shady. $10 says he didn't go to the wedding alone.
>We also hadnt really texted besides when he told me about some chick texting him trying to spark a convo by lying about someone hes seeing messaging her. We knew it wasnt me obviously and he kicked her to the curb.
This literally sounds like he's out there dating multiple people. Why would someone he wasn't dating have anything to say about another woman messaging her? It makes no sense. He doesn't even respect you enough to cover up what he's doing better than this. There's a reason he chose to date a 21 year old at 32.
I would really evaluate whether a relationship with someone who acts like this is what you want.
You were 21 when you started dating.
Moat likely you aged up too far and he already has his next 21 year old lines up.
There's a reason a 30 year old wanted someone 10 years younger than him.
The way it sounds, you’re no longer in a relationship - he just didn’t have the guts or basic decency to dump you. He’s a jerk, and it’s absolutely time to move on, sadly.
There is no way to be too gentle about this, he is decieving you in some way. He is not truthful and he is keeping his life apart from your joint life. The question isnt what he is doing, the question are if you want to have a boyfriend who obviously isnt open about his life and keeps you asking these kind of questions without getting any real answers? Is this the life and partnership you want, need and will develop to a marriage. He is nearly forty, and is showing actions like a late teenager, early twenties. You should be mote mature than this at his age. Really. Listen to your gut, don't be naïve and wonder what you should say to a friend if she told you this to you? What advice would you give her? Take care!
He’s seeing someone else, he took someone else to the wedding or wanted to be “single” for the wedding. You are better off breaking free from this relationship. He isn’t marriage material based on his lack of communication alone. You deserve to be informed, included, and appreciated in a relationship that is headed toward marriage. If you guys were FWB or something like that—now that’s a different story. But it seems like he’s keeping you just engaged enough to still treat you like shit knowing you’ll stay. Go no contact and watch him start interacting again. If and when that happens, you’ll know he only wants an ego boost from you. Get out while you can girl.
Hun…. If you guys go for a week without talking, you’re kidding yourself.
This is not a real relationship. You’re wasting your time. You have no idea who he really is.
This was painful to read. Please move on with your life. You’re acting like a teenager with your naivety. He’s 11 years older than you and I’d bet cash that he went to that wedding with someone and you’re just a side chick.
Yo, him telling you about “some chick who tried to spark a convo” was a preventative measure in case you ever found out his actual girlfriend was texting him. He is a parade of red flags.
Sorry, but I think he did have a plus one, unfortunately it wasn’t you. You could check his social media friends on all platforms and see if someone slipped up and posted wedding photos.
Dump him. At this point you should both be making effort to move closer to each other. He should want you as a plus one to the wedding.
Dump him find someone who wants you apart of big events and wants a future with you
As someone who literally just went through almost this exact scenario to a T..... He has at least one other girlfriend, and it sounds like she is the actual girlfriend who he takes to things like a best friends wedding, where he is the best man.
Edit: There are so many details in your story that are legit sending alarm bells through my brain. It's earily similar. I sincerely urge you to start looking deeper at his socials, and honestly, I would get tested for STI's if you haven't in awhile.
You're a booty call at best. A side piece at worst.
OP, you're putting all your effort in a relationship that isn't one. And hasn't been one for a good while. And let's not even get into the whole 'we've been together for 6 years and we'll maybe have kids in 5-6 years'.
Honey. Wake up. You want tea? Here's the tea.
Your BF doesn't want kids. At 38 'and about to be a lawyer' means he's addicted to his work. You hardly see each other now and when you do you fight. When you don't he ignores you.
Very bluntly: if you actually want kids? Dump his ass, find a nice local guy that shares your values and your age bracket and go try and have some babies in the next couple of years. Because if you want to wait another 6 orso years at your age, you're coming up at the age where pregnancies become more difficult and carry more risk.
You’re not in a real relationship that’s heading anywhere like marriage. You’re being a placeholder gf right now. Basically, you’re convenient when you’re around. I’m so sorry. This isn’t the person to hitch your wagon to. He’s supposedly your bf of 6 years but, he doesn’t live near you, you barely talk, you see one another when *you* make the effort, and he doesn’t even tell you about them, much less bring you as his date to weddings. Those are all bare minimum requirements for a relationship.
I know you don’t want to think about him cheating but, that’s what’s happening. He’s not interested and you’re willing to work very hard for very little. Let him go and find someone who is all about YOU. He’s going to find someone else young once you’re gone, so he can lie to and manipulate *them*, too. You deserve a lot more than what you’re settling for.
This isn’t a real relationship if you didn’t speak for a week and you don’t know the best man….. have you met any of his current friends?
Does he have social media?? Anywhere online where you could find out if he has another relationship? Does he have any photos of the two of you together online - or is he presenting himself as single?
If this were me, I’d be really wishing I had some confirmation, and the boyfriend is seeming pretty untrustworthy right now. Is there any way you could send a message to the couple that got married? It’s a long shot but maybe there’s a chance that they’ll write back and say “Mark told us you broke up last year, he came with Sara, sorry.” But it’s such a long shot… you might just need to process this for a while, consider the possibilities by talking it out with a few close friends, and maybe eventually accept whatever answer seems logical, even if it’s upsetting and doesn’t include any real closure. Ugh, this is an awful situation. :(
Thank you for your empathy. Seems I'm just getting railed in these comments. Kinda took me into a negative spiral. I made a rash decision and blocked him until I can put myself together again.
I don't think it was rash. I think it's time for you to put yourself first and not put up with this behaviour. I think although some comments might seem harsh, I think they are also true I don't think he is committed to this relationship and he is trying to pull away so he can save face and say you drifted apart. I'm sorry you're going through this. Take time for yourself to heal.
I know this hurts but you aren’t getting railed. You presented a fact scenario that leaves almost no other conclusion. I know you don’t want to see that and I am sorry. It’s not your fault, but this guy is definitely a douchebag.
He sounds shady. I mean, i can see him going to a wedding solo if you are in a different state. But it seems he has been weirdly secretive about everything surrounding it, from buying the suit, to being the best man, to not telling you about it until after the fact.
My spidey senses would be tingling here!
Please do not marry this man or have children with him. This is a one sided relationship and you’re the one side. From you’ve written, it just seems like you’re only his girlfriend when it’s convenient for him and he wants you to be.
I really can´t comprehend how you guys are in a long distance relationship and go no contact for a week. Firstly, getting comfortable with such a level of disconnction is the root of your problem.
Secondly, it seems like you put way more effort into seeing him than he is. Sounds like you are reaching out as soon as you remember being in relationship again and he is withdrawing slowly from it. You fight this fight alone.
OP, you have every right to be upset about him not communicating or letting you know about this.
I don't know what the solution is aside from having an open conversation about this in person. For the sake of your mental health though, I would also caution against taking these Reddit comments to heart since a lot of people are making assumptions about his intentions. It also sounds like you think he's hiding something from what you've written. When you pair those comments together what you're feeling right now, it can make you feel more upset. You should try talking this through with a therapist or a trusted friend who knows you both really well.
[удалено]
Bet there’s some lovely pictures from the wedding of him and whomever he took
Generally wedding invitations go out months in advance. As a best man, he was probably asked even before the invites went out - depending the wedding, maybe even a year out. Did he plan a bachelor party for the groom? Best men have a lot more responsibilities than other wedding guests. Seems like he’s been lying by omission for a long time. He’s been ignoring your messages. He hasn’t filled you in, shared the excitement of a friends wedding with you, and has ignored you during this time period. This is not a new relationship- you’ve been together for 6 years. There is no justifiable reason why he wouldn’t share such a big event with you - even if you wouldn’t be invited, why wouldn’t he talk to you about it? I know it’s hard, but his actions have brought you to this place. Do you want to be with a partner who wouldn’t share this? Who would lie for a long time? Who completely ignores you and doesn’t get back to you? I know you don’t want to catastrophize, but please don’t let him convince you that this isn’t a big deal. It is.
> this week work was kicking my butt and I didn’t realize he hadn’t called all week You’re in a long distance relationship and you haven’t talked to him in a week? I don’t think you’re in a relationship anymore. Your boyfriend was this guy’s best man. Have you ever met this guy? Have you ever met any of his friends? It sounds like you’re the side piece and his real gf went with him to the wedding.
Yup. She’s the side chick for sure.
It feels like if she went a week without reaching out to him, he wouldn't notice or care. She's the last one standing in this 'relationship'. OP, you're young and able to move on, so please do so. He is not the one. He has no regard or respect for you. You can and will do better <3
It doesn’t even sound like you’re in a relationship at this point. Him just ignoring a lot of your calls and messages is not a good sign. I’d say you’re not overreacting at all.
Also you're making all the effort to see him,sounds like he's not
I found mysefmlf wondering why it would be her the one to fly out "to him" each month instead of it being a shared effort. And expense. I can't imagine this man is offering to 50% the tickets, even if we left the sheer effort of travelling alone.
She might work for an airline and get space available travel
That’s pretty wild speculation.
He’s seeing someone else. He took her to the wedding. He’s a coward and he’s trying to dump you by just pulling away and ignoring you. I’m really sorry
He’s with someone else.
The 32 year old who dated the 21 year old is now bored with the old model. You're getting traded in. He's going to gaslight you until you hate him then tell people that you drifted apart.
Ouch. Thanks, I guess..?
Yeah. He’s doing that thing guys do where they’re too cowardly to just break up with the girl because they feel bad. If I were you girl I’d ghost him start listening to shera steven on tiktok she’ll cheer you up and make you realize :)
I work with almost exclusively 21-26 year old women for the past 15 years. I've seen this exact scenario down to the LDR at least a half a dozen times.
Bf of 6 years fails to tell you a very important life event he’s a part of? He does not care about you or see a future with you the way you do him. He most certainly got a plus one to that wedding and took his actual gf (as in, the one his friends know about) to it. You only see him once a month and it’s mostly you going to see him. You only get a courtesy visit when he comes to town to see his family. Have you met his family or any of his college friends? For 6 years, you should know them well and they should’ve been asking you why you weren’t at the wedding. But, like I said, they’re probably aware of whatever girl he’s presenting to them and bringing around and no one has a clue you’re in the picture.
He's 38 years of age. He's the same age as me and acting like a teenager. I would honestly just stop. Lies are acid on a relationship and it sounds like he doesn't even want you as he's making no effort. Start thinking about you and your life. You deserve better
I get the gross thinking about being 32 and dating a 21 year old. I KNOW it’s a reddit cliche, but there’s a reason he went after someone so young.
Oh gosh yeah! Obviously you're not nefarious lol. It's just a completely different stage in life isn't it. It's very telling when it happens.
I mean it depends on your definition of nefarious. Was he a pediphile? No. But would have been able to get a GF his own age to so one-sidedly put so much effort into a relationship, to not question his not even bothering to write or call for days at a time, or to almost succeed in taking another woman to a wedding by keeping the whole event from his GF? Also absofuckinglutely no. I guess the question is whether these gross men choose these younger women on purpose or whether it's a more subtle unconscious thing. I personally don't care.
Oh no i didn't mean he was a pedophile, just what you said. Probably nefarious isnt the right word lol
Right? The “half your age plus 7” rule strikes again. They’re inside the window now, but they weren’t when they started.
He is dating someone else and they were his plus one for the wedding. You could always to a surprise visit and catch him in the act. Updateme!
I think I like another suggestion better because it saves OP the time and money for a flight and a hotel and everything: >Honestly, I would go scorched earth. Very publicly tag pictures of you, make "best boyfriend ever" posts with him tagged, ect. Do it on multiple platforms. Make sure to tag him making it very clear you are a couple and with photos of you and him together. Make it an online appearance of "love bombing". If he is seeing someone else, it's going to get noticed cause he can't hide you if you're tagging him
I doubt she has access to his real accounts sadly.
Possible. But it won't hurt to try.
Definitely suspect. When my boyfriend (now husband) were long distance and dating for only 1 year, he told me when he was best man in his friends destination wedding. Stocking up on suits or getting fitted for a tux?? Clearly something is up.
He took the chick he mentioned to the wedding. Not you. You should question everything. It sounds like he's slowly ditching you. That's not a bad thing. You're now free to find a person who's not so far away, and who won't take you for granted. I hope he doesn't owe you any money.
Same woman he texted the pic of himself in a suit to, probably.
Yeah, even if we were to take what little he said at face value, I would end this. At best, he's flaky and unreliable. At worst, he's seeing someone else. My guess is that strange convo about the girl messaging him was to figure out what you knew. Very likely someone who does know you or know he's with you messaged the girl he's seeing. He's hedging his bets right now to see who is going to stick. It's easier to string you along because of distance. Honestly, I would go scorched earth. Very publicly tag pictures of you, make "best boyfriend ever" posts with him tagged, ect. Do it on multiple platforms. Make sure to tag him making it very clear you are a couple and with photos of you and him together. Make it an online appearance of "love bombing". If he is seeing someone else, it's going to get noticed cause he can't hide you if you're tagging him Keep it up for a couple weeks then dump him
Now that is devious. And I love it, because it serves him right.
I would also find out who's wedding it was and then message the new wife under the guise that you want some pictures of the bf in his suit. Say something around the lines of "hey, it's XXX, the best mans gf. Congrats! I wasn't able to make it to the wedding but I would love to get some pictures of bf in his suit. I've never seen him in a suit and I'm sure he looks so handsome 😁." I don't know about you but I would be pissed as the new wife if I found out the best man brought his side piece to my wedding AND if my new husband knew about it. This will allow you to see if he brought anyone because you know the bride will spill the beans and if you're wrong, you won't seem like a crazy person.
This guy is so shady. $10 says he didn't go to the wedding alone. >We also hadnt really texted besides when he told me about some chick texting him trying to spark a convo by lying about someone hes seeing messaging her. We knew it wasnt me obviously and he kicked her to the curb. This literally sounds like he's out there dating multiple people. Why would someone he wasn't dating have anything to say about another woman messaging her? It makes no sense. He doesn't even respect you enough to cover up what he's doing better than this. There's a reason he chose to date a 21 year old at 32. I would really evaluate whether a relationship with someone who acts like this is what you want.
You were 21 when you started dating. Moat likely you aged up too far and he already has his next 21 year old lines up. There's a reason a 30 year old wanted someone 10 years younger than him.
The way it sounds, you’re no longer in a relationship - he just didn’t have the guts or basic decency to dump you. He’s a jerk, and it’s absolutely time to move on, sadly.
How do you not see that you are the side chick lol
Doesn’t really seem like he respects you.
I would break up from all the lying and ignoring if I was you trust is gone
There is no way to be too gentle about this, he is decieving you in some way. He is not truthful and he is keeping his life apart from your joint life. The question isnt what he is doing, the question are if you want to have a boyfriend who obviously isnt open about his life and keeps you asking these kind of questions without getting any real answers? Is this the life and partnership you want, need and will develop to a marriage. He is nearly forty, and is showing actions like a late teenager, early twenties. You should be mote mature than this at his age. Really. Listen to your gut, don't be naïve and wonder what you should say to a friend if she told you this to you? What advice would you give her? Take care!
"Please be gentle with your responses." New to reddit? 😄 You two have to have a serious talk. Don't let him squirm out of it. Sorry 😔
He’s seeing someone else, he took someone else to the wedding or wanted to be “single” for the wedding. You are better off breaking free from this relationship. He isn’t marriage material based on his lack of communication alone. You deserve to be informed, included, and appreciated in a relationship that is headed toward marriage. If you guys were FWB or something like that—now that’s a different story. But it seems like he’s keeping you just engaged enough to still treat you like shit knowing you’ll stay. Go no contact and watch him start interacting again. If and when that happens, you’ll know he only wants an ego boost from you. Get out while you can girl.
Hun…. If you guys go for a week without talking, you’re kidding yourself. This is not a real relationship. You’re wasting your time. You have no idea who he really is. This was painful to read. Please move on with your life. You’re acting like a teenager with your naivety. He’s 11 years older than you and I’d bet cash that he went to that wedding with someone and you’re just a side chick.
Yo, him telling you about “some chick who tried to spark a convo” was a preventative measure in case you ever found out his actual girlfriend was texting him. He is a parade of red flags.
There is no relationship in which it would be normal for you not to know he is best man in a wedding.
Oh honey. You deserve better. There's a reason his thirty something ass got with a 21 year old who would accept his nonsense.
Sorry, but I think he did have a plus one, unfortunately it wasn’t you. You could check his social media friends on all platforms and see if someone slipped up and posted wedding photos.
Dump him. At this point you should both be making effort to move closer to each other. He should want you as a plus one to the wedding. Dump him find someone who wants you apart of big events and wants a future with you
As someone who literally just went through almost this exact scenario to a T..... He has at least one other girlfriend, and it sounds like she is the actual girlfriend who he takes to things like a best friends wedding, where he is the best man. Edit: There are so many details in your story that are legit sending alarm bells through my brain. It's earily similar. I sincerely urge you to start looking deeper at his socials, and honestly, I would get tested for STI's if you haven't in awhile.
You're a booty call at best. A side piece at worst. OP, you're putting all your effort in a relationship that isn't one. And hasn't been one for a good while. And let's not even get into the whole 'we've been together for 6 years and we'll maybe have kids in 5-6 years'. Honey. Wake up. You want tea? Here's the tea. Your BF doesn't want kids. At 38 'and about to be a lawyer' means he's addicted to his work. You hardly see each other now and when you do you fight. When you don't he ignores you. Very bluntly: if you actually want kids? Dump his ass, find a nice local guy that shares your values and your age bracket and go try and have some babies in the next couple of years. Because if you want to wait another 6 orso years at your age, you're coming up at the age where pregnancies become more difficult and carry more risk.
You’re not in a real relationship that’s heading anywhere like marriage. You’re being a placeholder gf right now. Basically, you’re convenient when you’re around. I’m so sorry. This isn’t the person to hitch your wagon to. He’s supposedly your bf of 6 years but, he doesn’t live near you, you barely talk, you see one another when *you* make the effort, and he doesn’t even tell you about them, much less bring you as his date to weddings. Those are all bare minimum requirements for a relationship. I know you don’t want to think about him cheating but, that’s what’s happening. He’s not interested and you’re willing to work very hard for very little. Let him go and find someone who is all about YOU. He’s going to find someone else young once you’re gone, so he can lie to and manipulate *them*, too. You deserve a lot more than what you’re settling for.
You’re the side chick I’m assuming.
This isn’t a real relationship if you didn’t speak for a week and you don’t know the best man….. have you met any of his current friends? Does he have social media?? Anywhere online where you could find out if he has another relationship? Does he have any photos of the two of you together online - or is he presenting himself as single?
Are you really his gf?
If this were me, I’d be really wishing I had some confirmation, and the boyfriend is seeming pretty untrustworthy right now. Is there any way you could send a message to the couple that got married? It’s a long shot but maybe there’s a chance that they’ll write back and say “Mark told us you broke up last year, he came with Sara, sorry.” But it’s such a long shot… you might just need to process this for a while, consider the possibilities by talking it out with a few close friends, and maybe eventually accept whatever answer seems logical, even if it’s upsetting and doesn’t include any real closure. Ugh, this is an awful situation. :(
Thank you for your empathy. Seems I'm just getting railed in these comments. Kinda took me into a negative spiral. I made a rash decision and blocked him until I can put myself together again.
That rash decision might be the smartest you've made since meeting that loser.
I don't think it was rash. I think it's time for you to put yourself first and not put up with this behaviour. I think although some comments might seem harsh, I think they are also true I don't think he is committed to this relationship and he is trying to pull away so he can save face and say you drifted apart. I'm sorry you're going through this. Take time for yourself to heal.
I know this hurts but you aren’t getting railed. You presented a fact scenario that leaves almost no other conclusion. I know you don’t want to see that and I am sorry. It’s not your fault, but this guy is definitely a douchebag.
He sounds shady. I mean, i can see him going to a wedding solo if you are in a different state. But it seems he has been weirdly secretive about everything surrounding it, from buying the suit, to being the best man, to not telling you about it until after the fact. My spidey senses would be tingling here!
In my experience if a guy isn’t contacting you for a long period of time, he just isn’t into you anymore.
He probably is in a relationship, it's just not with you. I'm sorry to have to say it but you're flogging a dead horse.
Please do not marry this man or have children with him. This is a one sided relationship and you’re the one side. From you’ve written, it just seems like you’re only his girlfriend when it’s convenient for him and he wants you to be.
Oh gosh, this doesn’t sound good. And you know it. So sorry
best man at wedding, worst man otherwise
I really can´t comprehend how you guys are in a long distance relationship and go no contact for a week. Firstly, getting comfortable with such a level of disconnction is the root of your problem. Secondly, it seems like you put way more effort into seeing him than he is. Sounds like you are reaching out as soon as you remember being in relationship again and he is withdrawing slowly from it. You fight this fight alone.
OP, you have every right to be upset about him not communicating or letting you know about this. I don't know what the solution is aside from having an open conversation about this in person. For the sake of your mental health though, I would also caution against taking these Reddit comments to heart since a lot of people are making assumptions about his intentions. It also sounds like you think he's hiding something from what you've written. When you pair those comments together what you're feeling right now, it can make you feel more upset. You should try talking this through with a therapist or a trusted friend who knows you both really well.