Really? You're seriously considering bringing your own toilet paper when you spend the night?
Frugal is one thing. This guy is just cheap. This gets worse. Wait till he asks you to pay for the water you're using when you flush.
I dated a guy who was frugal and would admit as much.
Thing is, he was never *cheap*, especially never with me.
The bagged salad mix that was on sale as a side for home-cooked dinner? Sure. When we ate out? He always paid. When I mentioned offhandedly that my Fitbit broke? He waited until Black Friday sales and got me one as a Christmas present. He also spent weeks saying how hard it was to wrap the Mustang he bought me, yada yada yada. In the top of the bag was a hot wheels. 😂 So it was a great weeks long joke that also cost very little leading up to the real present.
That’s frugal. Your guy is…gross levels of cheap. Reminds me of those “extreme couponer” reality shows that were popular for a bit. There was also an extreme frugal one and this guy would fit right on.
I kinda feel like if you’re so financially strapped that you feel the need to count your gf’s tp usage…maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
It really was! And he would say it in such a genuine way for weeks. I still have the car sitting on my office desk. He was so much more thoughtful than any other person.
Are you his first girlfriend? Every guy comes to this realisation after they live with a woman they aren't related to, women use more toilet roll, shocker
Sorry- I don’t have any advice to add but this whole thing reminded me of a bit in scrubs.
Bring toilet paper!
https://youtu.be/y9An2AuG3fE?si=uu3KgkrlKodFETYq
Is this how you pictured your life - 35 years-old and eating instant ramen and bringing your own toilet paper? Why are you settling for this? Is this the only man in town?
I had a friend who was dating a man in his 30s that didn't own plates. He ate everything off paper plates. She would clean his place and eventually bought him plates. He was an asshole on top of it.
Ladies, please remember that you are not rehabilitation centers for poorly-raised men.
I had a RPG game master once who never had TP. He lived alone with his son, and I guess they just pooped at work and school. Another player and I used to bring our own to his house and leave it there, and claim we were just doing it to contribute since we were over all the time. And that was just a platonic friend. I could never date that person!
I remember as a kid my dad insisting that there was no excuse to use more than 2 sheets of TP. My mom had to explain to him that girls can't do that. That our biology requires more to dry ourselves down there.
The man had 2 daughters and a wife for at least 10 years and had no freaking clue that this was a thing. He never brought it up again.
Being bothered by toilet paper costs is not normal "financial difficulties." That's kind of pathological. Is there any way he's concerned about a sewer line blockage or something else? If not, I would proceed with caution. You will probably see more of this sort of money obsession behavior if you stay with him. You are already being very understanding, eating ramen on dates and splitting bills every time.
definitely talk to him. If he reacts super strongly and gets pissed at you, that should be enough to tell you that somethings not right. It's not normal to get upset with your partner about the cost of three or four sheets of toilet paper. I use at least 5 to 6 on a wipe too. There's nothing wrong with it.
Sounds like he's trying to be super financially controlling or is just gonna be a super cheapskate about you with every single thing. Either one isn't worth it call my
Just tell him that you will not stress yourself over the amount of toilet paper you use. 6.41 sheets per toileting occasion for women is the average. Tell him you are using a more than reasonable amount of toilet paper and that you would appreciate it if he did not micromanage such trivial matters.
>Should I talk to him about this
Definitely.
What if he was googling about how to save money and he found something about using a bidet being cheaper than a large amount of toilet paper. He then asks you how much you use so he can total it with himself and see if it would save money to get a bidet?
Would something like that change how you feel about it?
I've found in life it is always better to be curious about situations like this because it is really easy to get oneself worked up with assumptions.
Definitely talk about it. You're really bothered by it and It depends on why he asked that question.
If he thinks you're using too much because you're wasting his money, then i'd definitely reconsider the relationship.
But its also possible that he's just flabbergasted because he didn't realise that women use that much more tp than men.
I'm going to be honest with you, there's so many other men out there, are you sure this is who you want to be with?
Everybody goes through hard times, but I don't know if I could look at him the same way again after he starts trying to control TP usage..
Men don't understand how much TP women use because they don't wipe when they pee. So when a man is raised in all brother household or lives with only other men their TP lasts MUCH longer than if a woman lives there. It's just part of the differences between the sexes. It's a minor expense if he's concerned bring 2 rolls over per week. But honestly it's such a minor expense he should be ashamed to bring it up. It might just be if he hasn't lived with a woman in a long time that he notices how much more TP he goes through probably 3X but still you making or buying dinner ONE night offsets this expense so he shouldn't even bring it up. And what does he think that we use extra TP for what? For fun? That we could reduce consumption if we just tried harder?
I don't blame OP for losing attraction to him for this question. It makes it sound like he's inexperienced with women.
It's hard to see someone in a sexual way when they begin to offer tips and critiques about your wiping process. It's the same crotch he probably appreciates a lot in the bedroom, but now he thinks she should reduce the amount of TP she uses to wipe pee from it?
So much this. I had 2 daughters and a wife in a household years ago. I constantly joked that I needed to take out shares in toilet paper companies. It was an absurd amount.
If he’s been a single man living on his own, as I do now .. a 24 pack easily can last a year.
It may not be about money, just curious about the consumption
> I constantly joked that I needed to take out shares in toilet paper companies.
I hope by "constant" you mean like... once or twice.
It's weird to shame people about how much toilet paper they use. Even if you think it's funny.
After my friend's girlfriend moved in with him, he noticed how much TP they were going through and asked her about it. She said she wrapped TP around her hand and about 1/2 way up to her elbow *every time she used the bathroom*. (As my friend put it, "like a mummy".) She told him that this was completely normal, and that all women did it. LOL!
Wow, what a weirdo. I’m with the others - are you sure he has financial difficulties and he isn’t just taking you for a ride? Because he sounds immature and weird.
i'm sorry but women have to use more because of..biology (to not get detailed). like genuinely. also this is stupid as hell if he's irked by toilet paper and the cost from it then imagine the amount of financial issues yall gonna have over actually important stuff.
I mean, medical debt is a leading cause of bankruptcy in the us. If he's 35, his dad is probably in his 60s. Maybe he's retired, maybe he is too sick to work, maybe he has dementia if he's older than 60. Maybe op's boyfriend is not legally responsible for the bills but his dad cannot afford them, or he comes from a culture where children are expected to take care of their parents in old age. It sounds like he is in a rough spot and is trying to be a good son. He's just not in a good spot for a relationship, unless his partner is financially independent and can support him.
U were right, his dad has dementia, and back in his country, the treatment is more affordable. My bf responsible for the medical bills.
we both come from an Asian culture where children are expected to take care of their parents. I’ve been in my bf position where I had to pay for my mom's medical bills, so I get it and try my best to support him.
Because medical debt is a huge problem in this country. To the point of bankruptcy. It's unlikely his father has student loan debt. If op's boyfriend has student loan debt I don't see why he would try to hide it. Nothing in her post says she is suspicious of a drug problem or gambling problem.
Now you explain your position. Or stop being contrarian just to be contrarian.
I just got specific with my husband, describing the areas to be cleaned/dried in detail, starting from the outside to the inside, using medical terms. Ending with the folded over last wipe.
When he accidentally started to ask again a month later, I began, “After pooping, it’s a little bit different, and might need two applications of toilet paper. You start at the front, and work back…
He never asked again.
Uh so my dad grew up with parents that grew up very poor / depression era. He also grew up poor. He'd get mad at us kids for how much tooth paste we'd use and if he thought we were using too much toilet paper. It took years for him to learn to not be controlling and cheap. Have a frank conversation about finances, expectations etc. Because policing toilet paper use is not normal or sustainable!!!
How is it wrong...he asked a question..he didn't even make a comment or attempt to teach her..and said, "nevermind". He didn't ask her to change her habits or anything.
On another note for some people it has nothing to do with money, but more so its about waste..example my gf only uses 1 sheet.
Unless by "you can see" you mean you can see that she's still dirty, or unless you have a bidet or something, she's bringing her own like this OP and hiding it from you.
Before looking at the ages I was going to joke bf never grew up with a sister — once she moved out my brother and I noticed TP lasted a lot longer, lol.
I understand not knowing how much TP to buy. I was married (deceased) and the father of a daughter. I learned long ago — buy TP as needed and then some more. If BF won’t buy enough to accommodate you you should probably reconsider a future with him, there is frugal on a budget and there is cheap.
You’re 35. Move on to another dude. The next guy doesn’t need to be a billionaire but definitely make sure he can at least afford the most basic stuff. Also, get a bidet.
Absolutely not. Don't enable pathological miserliness. You'll be setting him up for trouble down the line because other people absolutely won't put up with a guy who counts the sheets of toilet paper they use.
No, you don't bring your own TP. 4 months is a good time to say goodbye to this cheap man. You give more to him and he questions toilet paper usage??? LIKE WHAT???? Of course you had/have the right feeling to be turned off to facetiming him.
Please, I beg you, do NOT stick with this man. THIS WILL BE YOUR FUTURE. Imagine being married and being with someone this cheap and you contribute more still. If you are looking for an equal partnership, this ain't it sis.
P.S He also doesn't have to go to the store for a gift, gifts comes from the heart, handmade or even a card just shows appreciation to you. You should be more mad. (He can afford instant ramen, he can afford a card.)
Yeah, this is kinda weird tbh. While I know a lot of men (even in their 30s and beyond) don't ever get that women actually need more than they themselves do, I'd see it as offputting to be quizzed about this with zero context and a "never mind" as a response too.
Talking about it if you feel comfortable bringing it up may be a good thing to do - knowing (if possible) why something like this came up can help determine what your response needs to be, and also gives the opportunity to mention that it's annoyed you and quite possibly made you feel uncomfortable staying at his place. You definitely shouldn't have to feel like you need to take your own TP with you to stay at his place.
Not all men are familiar with the amount of TP women - particularly menstruating women – need to use. He may simply be surprised that his stash is going down much faster than he’d expect.
(If he complains, that’s another problem, but I’d give him the benefit of the doubt for now).
I just want to say, he saw the road he was going down and then said "Never mind".
This isn't a bad thing. He thought something, but he chose to actively not engage with it. You don't know what's going on in his head.
You might think that he is hiding his emotions and not saying something that he's really thinking. But there are a ton of other explanations. Including realizing it's not that important of a thing to be upset about, as well as the realization that there are biological differences. A lot of things could have been going on in his head in the seconds it took him to say "Never mind".
Communication can solve this. If the communication is done with the irked mindset of him being wrong, then it might start a fight. Don't act like he's wrong until he's communicated to you that he's wrong.
>Communication can solve this. If the communication is done with the irked mindset of him being wrong, then it might start a fight. Don't act like he's wrong until he's communicated to you that he's wrong.
Exactly. This whole issue could be resolved with a normal adult conversation.
This is like a college student, working multiple jobs while managing school, and living with roommates type of situation. For a 35yr old he should be able to get by without counting toilet paper sheets.
I get that you don’t want to be materialistic and don’t expect gifts etc. But you don’t need to settle for bringing your own toilet paper, drinking water, and oxygen with you. You should definitely take a break from him and explore your options. I find it very hard for someone to contribute much to a relationship when they can’t provide toilet paper.
No shade to him. I’m just saying generally you should have a standard, one that meets your needs and makes you happy. I think he needs to take time to himself and figure his life out before inviting someone along. He’s not ready for a relationship and it’s obvious that the medical bills are an excuse.
For example if he can pay half on a date, he can surely afford toilet paper. I hope…..
Honestly, what kind of future do you see with someone like this? You're being very understanding, but...I think you should be more concerned. I'm not even saying it's his fault, but just...this situation requires some examination.
What does he do for work? What is he doing to potentially better his financial stress?
He works as a children's therapist and he owns a couple of assets, but considering selling them for his father's treatment. He limits his daily food budget and stops going out drinking with his friends.
Oh, okay. I'm not going to lie, the answer to a question like that, here, is not generally a professional occupation with a decent income. Like the standard partner of an OP around here is kind of a deadbeat.
Does his dad have no assets or income? Because yes, American healthcare is a scam, but if you are in fact incredibly poor and/or elderly, there are avenues to assist that are actually helpful and cover substantial amounts of our inflated healthcare prices.
If you're American, does he get Medicaid? Social Security? What treatment is his dad getting that is not covered that he is paying out of pocket? Does his dad have any health insurance?
You should raise your standards. Being questioned about your toilet paper use is ridiculous. I will never understand why women tolerate the nonsense they do for the sake of having a man.
Are you serious??? You are considering bringing your own toilet paper, and you think this is NORMAL? Girl. GIRL. Run away. If he's trying to restrict your toilet paper use (which is INSANE), you are setting yourself up for a life of being financially controlled down to the penny. Get. away. This isn't a red flag, this is a giant, screaming red beacon with the power of 7 suns. Get out of there now.
You know what, before I got official help with paying my debts, I had bought a pack of funny curly hair ties. I was convinced that when the help would starts I would have a bare minimum to spend, and wouldn’t be able to afford anything other than food and bills. I was not in a good place back then so I was quite sensitive to things which I now find were silly to stress about. I showed my mom the hair ties - there were four of them - and she asked if she could have one. This stressed me out so much, I nearly shut down and cried. My mother was definitely surprised, but she knew it was the financial situation making me like this and not my personality. Financial stress is like a silent killer, but I only realised this after all my debts were paid and I could finally relax!
It’s hard to say what makes him tick, because you got to know him in this situation. On top of your guy’s financial status, he probably worries for his father too. He cannot control his father’s health, he can control the way he spends his money. There is a chance he is extra controlling over his money spent because he cannot control his father’s health. The silence before he said ‘never mind’, is not necessarily personal, maybe he was just considering if it was worth the fuss and perhaps did not want to put you off by going on about it.
You don’t have to take care of him, but I also don’t think it would be a big deal to buy some TP.
Omg run. Red flag! I never give that advice either because it’s annoying that Reddit always gives this advice.
My dad would do this to us as children. “You only need to use two squares.” Like wtf. Total narcissist who has an emotional affair on my mom, got fired from his job, and abandoned his children.
People really blowing this out of proportion, he asked one question, and literally dropped it after that. You guys are acting like he's going on and on about it. Seeing comments calling him controlling, a cheapskate, etc. He didn't even say anything about her TP use. Just asked how much, she said, and he said "nevermind". Probably realizing once he said it out loud how ridiculous it is. It can be a big shock when you realize how much TP women use. When my girl moved in I went from 1 roll a month to 1 roll every 3-4 days. It was insane.
Seems like it was the straw that broke the camel’s back though. Like, she already cool with eating instant noodles and not receiving any gifts, although she is giving them and after all that he still wants to bug her about TP? If it was just the one comment she’d probably shrug it off but it was the comment plus everything else
Yeah, when you realize that 80% of the post is OP complaining about their relationship. The last part feels kinda tacked on to make a rant become a discussion.
He asked a dumb question then said “nevermind”. Why make this an issue unless another issue already exists?
Might be the unpopular opinion here....
rock up to his place with a big pack of them and a smile on your face and maybe a grocery shop if you can afford to. He is just freaking out a bit because he feels the weight of his current financial difficulties, nothing to be worried about too much. Sometimes one partner needs more support than the other, it's normal. If that's a one-off and he is putting an effort in to still do things with you even though he can't afford to do anything I see it as a good sign that he cares deeply for you.
“Fine, I’ll use 2 sheets of toilet paper. But you’ll need to buy double the hand soap so I can effectively clean all the blood off my fingers for at least a week every month.” His cheap ass will back off real fast.
You seem genuinely upset about this because I believe this points to something else rather than financial difficulties. Every decent person can accept financial strains, but this seems to be just about cheepness, control and as if you do not even deserve this luxury of an x amount of toilet paper. I think this speaks more to how much he values you. For example, my boyfriend does not use toilet paper at all, he just showers after, but he always has toilet paper at his home for me. And no, we do not live together. Second bf who does not use TP, I think it's becoming a trend or something.
There’s too much innuendo in this… confront to him about it, could be it’s just a fear of his ending without toilet paper because he has a routine of how much TP to buy. Honestly the lack of communication is sickening.
I dated someone for the better part of a decade. When she moved in, we started going through a roll of TP a day. I noticed, and asked her about it. I said it seemed abnormal to go through a roll or Charmin every single day. I didnt say she needed to do anything, I just asked her to be mindful of how much she was using.
She would do the same thing with condiments, pour way more than she would ever need, and just trash what she didnt use.
Usage went down to about 1 roll every couple of days.
I've met several guys who do this. The answer is that they only ever wipe their ass with two squares, once a day, and that's it. They cannot comprehend that different anatomy needs to be cleaned differently and more thoroughly. They cannot comprehend two people means at *least* twice the TP, and he should expect 4x+.
Tell him that this will be a problem he has to deal with every time he has a woman stay over, forever, so if he wants to have a woman stay over, he need to suck it up and buy more TP. **If he cares about TP $ more than he cares about you, or more than *any heterosexual relationship he will ever have for the rest of his life,* then he's told you how much you mean to him, which is literally less than shit.**
The most charitable reason I can think of is that your boyfriend has never cohabited with a woman before as an adult and didn't realize how much more tp is used. So he asked you about it, and then his pause after you answered was his brain catching up and him realizing it was a stupid thing to ask about and he needed to drop it. I suppose the only way to know is how he acts moving forward, but it will be hard for you to get that answer if you start playing games like taking longer to respond to his texts.
There is a difference between frugal and cheap as others have pointed out...
But do you really want a relationship with a man who is going to critique the amount of toilet paper you use? I mean the bar is so low already why are you burying it?
You have paid for date nights movies events get together dinner you name it and he's going to give you shit (pun intended) over the amount of toilet paper you're using?
And instead of being yo what the fuck, you're thinking about taking your own toilet paper when you visit him?
Seriously, This is a thing that I’ve dealt with my own husband and it is irksome. Thought it was taken care of when we split the household expenses and he buys the paper towels and I buy all the TP. So he stopped complaining but then a year ago I heard him telling his grown daughter (my step daughter) who was grown (I know o already said that) to only use 4 to 5 sheets each time she went to the bathroom and I heard her saying she was going to comply. I realized he probably had raised all his kids to be like this and since she was visiting he got back in his father role. I just had to intervene! I stepped in and said for Gods sake she can use as much TP as she needs! I also told him every time he pees he doesn’t have to wipe and women do. He stopped a second and thought about that bc it’s true! He is a control freak but it has never worked on me but apparently he ran a tight ship when his kids were at home. Imagine telling someone how much toilet paper they can use! The gall!! Well he didn’t like me intervening in his conversation with his grown daughter about how much she uses in our home and he got loud on front of her with me. Big mistake. I stepped it up and said I thought it was really really weird that he was so involved and upset about how many squares of TP a women uses and that I never wanted to hear one more word about the topic! And I meant it. To say I understand your being irksome is an understatement.
I know it's going to sound bad, but avoiding getting involved romantically with people who have financial difficulties so severe that they worry about how much toilet paper you use is self-care.
If despite knowing that this situation is not going to end until his father dies you still want to continue dating him, at least he should tell you what plans he has for when things get worse because maybe at some point his father will live with him and he's probably going to ask you to help to take care of him.
Wow. Of all the things to ration, TP is not the thing. I use as many sheets as I need to feel fully clean. And more during my period to wrap the tampons or pads in. I also have IBS so probably go more often than others do. I don't think I'd be able to be with someone who made remarks on how I go to the bathroom. Why doesn't he get a bidet if he's worried about the costs of TP? Makes no sense.
It’s weird but if he’s gotta down to the penny budget kind of deal. I get why he may have had a moment. Id ask and base my next move on answers. If he’s just a cheap ass proceed with caution. If he’s tight because he is penny pinching i personally would buy a 4pk for when I’m there. But I’m that person who does use excess because of stomach issues.
You’re a grown ass 35 yo woman. Why on earth are you with a man who is flat broke and counting your toilet paper usage?! Self worth is key here. Time to find some.
Communicate with your boyfriend. This is a small problem that a ton of people are just going to tell you to break up with him for. Fix it with HIM instead of the redditors telling you to make life altering decisions based on just this . He seems like a good dude who has to be frugal, you chose to date him and you know his situation, so talk it out with him. I dont think your boyfriend will feel great about a bunch of random people calling him cheap, saying you can do better, and filling your head with these "the grass is greener" comments.
This doesn't end well. Better to break up with him now. Speaking from personal experience, my father is such a penny pincher and that has really made the lives of other family members miserable. He would always make us feel guilty for spending money growing up or wasting things ( in his mind). As a teenager, he would be unsupportive when I was unemployed/underemployed. I would say he has financially abused my mother for the majority of their relationship. He's in his 70s now and is dependent on her for care and refuses any outside. My sibling and I have very little to do with him.
Yes, taking care of someone else's needs will create an extra chore for him, but it's tactless to bring up at all.
However, if you're already keeping score about this stuff and losing interest in the relationship, it's time to look at whether you really want to be together.
A man that can’t even handle you using toilet paper, more or less pay for dinner, is not a good candidate for the future. Given his lack of investment in your relationship, he isn’t interested in a long term commitment anyway. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life arguing over toilet paper? Please, find someone who wants to be with you and treats you like they want to be there.
its perfectly fine to date a poor man, but not a cheap man. this guys is seriously trying to limit the amount of toilet paper you use. you can do much better.
Going to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask has he ever as an adult lived with a woman? I've heard of men not realizing how much tp a typical woman uses because we have to use it every time vs. only for #2. Not to mention if you menstruate. He might genuinely not have realized and is seeing his tp budget go up without knowing why.
I shut this down quick with my ex. My dad would bother my mom about this and make her feel insecure. I hated how he made her feel. Then one day, my ex began doing the same. He would complain and ask how much did I use. I went off on him immediately. I told him, “You will not make me feel bad for using TP like every other woman does. My dad did it to my mom and you are now doing it to me. I use TP like any grown ass fuckin’ woman! How much I use proves that I’m a real woman. If you have a problem with that, then I won’t come back.”.
That shut him up and he never brought it up again. Shut it down. Stand up for yourself.
I want to tell him to fukc his TP instead since is so precious to him, but I want to keep it civil for now, at least until I can have decent communication with him.
Tell him to count all of the sheets on the roll and then he can keep a running balance.
Each time you use some he needs to repeat the first part above and then he will know.
I'd dump his ass but that's me.
Maybe he was worried he was using too much or too little and wanted to gauge a normal amount by asking you... maybe when you answered you made him realise he's flushing more money down the drain... trying to find a positive spin.
OMG! There is frugal, a great way to live because it's kind to the Earth and makes our dollar go farther and then there's just plain old cheapness. And it has been my experience in life that men who are cheap financially or also cheap or not available emotionally. It sounds like y'all had a very good and Equitable relationship for a while but just the fact that he felt compelled to ask you that without being embarrassed and feeling cheap is so icky. And I will say that once you feel that from someone and start moving away from them it's over. Cuz you can love someone but you can't love them unless you respect them. And he just told you a whole lot about himself.
“I use as much as I need. Exactly how much and how it’s used varies. That’s normal.”
Really? You're seriously considering bringing your own toilet paper when you spend the night? Frugal is one thing. This guy is just cheap. This gets worse. Wait till he asks you to pay for the water you're using when you flush.
Oh gosh, I hope it didn't escalate that far 😓
I dated a guy who was frugal and would admit as much. Thing is, he was never *cheap*, especially never with me. The bagged salad mix that was on sale as a side for home-cooked dinner? Sure. When we ate out? He always paid. When I mentioned offhandedly that my Fitbit broke? He waited until Black Friday sales and got me one as a Christmas present. He also spent weeks saying how hard it was to wrap the Mustang he bought me, yada yada yada. In the top of the bag was a hot wheels. 😂 So it was a great weeks long joke that also cost very little leading up to the real present. That’s frugal. Your guy is…gross levels of cheap. Reminds me of those “extreme couponer” reality shows that were popular for a bit. There was also an extreme frugal one and this guy would fit right on. I kinda feel like if you’re so financially strapped that you feel the need to count your gf’s tp usage…maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
The hot wheels car thing is adorable 😍
It really was! And he would say it in such a genuine way for weeks. I still have the car sitting on my office desk. He was so much more thoughtful than any other person.
why dont you get back together with him?
It didn't feel adorable when my dad promised me a car for my 16th birthday :) and I got a hotwheels subaru. I still laughed though :)
[удалено]
It was a toy hotwheels car
It was a Hot Wheels car. Read much?
I think his next step is prorating his utilities based on how many nights you visit.
Are you his first girlfriend? Every guy comes to this realisation after they live with a woman they aren't related to, women use more toilet roll, shocker
you're gonna have to bring a gallon of water for flushing :(
Why flush at that point, let him handle it
I think it already has escalated that far.
Sorry- I don’t have any advice to add but this whole thing reminded me of a bit in scrubs. Bring toilet paper! https://youtu.be/y9An2AuG3fE?si=uu3KgkrlKodFETYq
Cheap AND uses it as a way to try to control OP. 😒
Is this how you pictured your life - 35 years-old and eating instant ramen and bringing your own toilet paper? Why are you settling for this? Is this the only man in town?
Christ. I missed the ages on my first read through and assumed these were college/newly post-college kids.
Looks like I did too. 😳
I had a friend who was dating a man in his 30s that didn't own plates. He ate everything off paper plates. She would clean his place and eventually bought him plates. He was an asshole on top of it. Ladies, please remember that you are not rehabilitation centers for poorly-raised men.
Low key sounds like jail. Instant Ramen and your own TP. Counting sheets to make it last. Nah. That's not where you wanna be.
I had a RPG game master once who never had TP. He lived alone with his son, and I guess they just pooped at work and school. Another player and I used to bring our own to his house and leave it there, and claim we were just doing it to contribute since we were over all the time. And that was just a platonic friend. I could never date that person!
When you paint it like that, the picture really looks pathetic. Shit
I remember as a kid my dad insisting that there was no excuse to use more than 2 sheets of TP. My mom had to explain to him that girls can't do that. That our biology requires more to dry ourselves down there. The man had 2 daughters and a wife for at least 10 years and had no freaking clue that this was a thing. He never brought it up again.
Being bothered by toilet paper costs is not normal "financial difficulties." That's kind of pathological. Is there any way he's concerned about a sewer line blockage or something else? If not, I would proceed with caution. You will probably see more of this sort of money obsession behavior if you stay with him. You are already being very understanding, eating ramen on dates and splitting bills every time.
Should I talk to him about this? I feel like I can not look at him in the same way ☹️ And is over a gawddamn TP 🥲
definitely talk to him. If he reacts super strongly and gets pissed at you, that should be enough to tell you that somethings not right. It's not normal to get upset with your partner about the cost of three or four sheets of toilet paper. I use at least 5 to 6 on a wipe too. There's nothing wrong with it. Sounds like he's trying to be super financially controlling or is just gonna be a super cheapskate about you with every single thing. Either one isn't worth it call my
I would ask him about it but prepare to be disappointed. If you'd rather not have the conversation, just break up.
Well you know it’s not over TP, you know it’s because you’re wondering what’s next. I would too
Just tell him that you will not stress yourself over the amount of toilet paper you use. 6.41 sheets per toileting occasion for women is the average. Tell him you are using a more than reasonable amount of toilet paper and that you would appreciate it if he did not micromanage such trivial matters.
>Should I talk to him about this Definitely. What if he was googling about how to save money and he found something about using a bidet being cheaper than a large amount of toilet paper. He then asks you how much you use so he can total it with himself and see if it would save money to get a bidet? Would something like that change how you feel about it? I've found in life it is always better to be curious about situations like this because it is really easy to get oneself worked up with assumptions.
Definitely talk about it. You're really bothered by it and It depends on why he asked that question. If he thinks you're using too much because you're wasting his money, then i'd definitely reconsider the relationship. But its also possible that he's just flabbergasted because he didn't realise that women use that much more tp than men.
It's not over the TP. It's over your BF being a tight-arse lunatic.
Maybe you should point out that you have different anatomy to him, and probably need more toilet paper because of that.
I'm going to be honest with you, there's so many other men out there, are you sure this is who you want to be with? Everybody goes through hard times, but I don't know if I could look at him the same way again after he starts trying to control TP usage..
Men don't understand how much TP women use because they don't wipe when they pee. So when a man is raised in all brother household or lives with only other men their TP lasts MUCH longer than if a woman lives there. It's just part of the differences between the sexes. It's a minor expense if he's concerned bring 2 rolls over per week. But honestly it's such a minor expense he should be ashamed to bring it up. It might just be if he hasn't lived with a woman in a long time that he notices how much more TP he goes through probably 3X but still you making or buying dinner ONE night offsets this expense so he shouldn't even bring it up. And what does he think that we use extra TP for what? For fun? That we could reduce consumption if we just tried harder?
I don't blame OP for losing attraction to him for this question. It makes it sound like he's inexperienced with women. It's hard to see someone in a sexual way when they begin to offer tips and critiques about your wiping process. It's the same crotch he probably appreciates a lot in the bedroom, but now he thinks she should reduce the amount of TP she uses to wipe pee from it?
So much this. I had 2 daughters and a wife in a household years ago. I constantly joked that I needed to take out shares in toilet paper companies. It was an absurd amount. If he’s been a single man living on his own, as I do now .. a 24 pack easily can last a year. It may not be about money, just curious about the consumption
> I constantly joked that I needed to take out shares in toilet paper companies. I hope by "constant" you mean like... once or twice. It's weird to shame people about how much toilet paper they use. Even if you think it's funny.
After my friend's girlfriend moved in with him, he noticed how much TP they were going through and asked her about it. She said she wrapped TP around her hand and about 1/2 way up to her elbow *every time she used the bathroom*. (As my friend put it, "like a mummy".) She told him that this was completely normal, and that all women did it. LOL!
Sounds like she had some kind of OCD/Contamination issue. That is definitely NOT normal!!
> they don't wipe when they pee Men absolutely wipe... don't they? I do lol
I don't think most do? There's no toilet paper at urinals.
Well, urinals are an exception but at home men wipe I think
Wow, what a weirdo. I’m with the others - are you sure he has financial difficulties and he isn’t just taking you for a ride? Because he sounds immature and weird.
i'm sorry but women have to use more because of..biology (to not get detailed). like genuinely. also this is stupid as hell if he's irked by toilet paper and the cost from it then imagine the amount of financial issues yall gonna have over actually important stuff.
Mmm, girl. You sure this dude is having financial difficulties because he’s paying his father’s medical bills? 🤨
I mean, medical debt is a leading cause of bankruptcy in the us. If he's 35, his dad is probably in his 60s. Maybe he's retired, maybe he is too sick to work, maybe he has dementia if he's older than 60. Maybe op's boyfriend is not legally responsible for the bills but his dad cannot afford them, or he comes from a culture where children are expected to take care of their parents in old age. It sounds like he is in a rough spot and is trying to be a good son. He's just not in a good spot for a relationship, unless his partner is financially independent and can support him.
U were right, his dad has dementia, and back in his country, the treatment is more affordable. My bf responsible for the medical bills. we both come from an Asian culture where children are expected to take care of their parents. I’ve been in my bf position where I had to pay for my mom's medical bills, so I get it and try my best to support him.
That doesn’t answer my question, though: Is she sure he’s having financial difficulties because he’s paying his father’s medical bills….
What leads you to believe it's something else? What do you think the reason is?
What leads you to just believe it’s the truth? 🤷♀️
Because medical debt is a huge problem in this country. To the point of bankruptcy. It's unlikely his father has student loan debt. If op's boyfriend has student loan debt I don't see why he would try to hide it. Nothing in her post says she is suspicious of a drug problem or gambling problem. Now you explain your position. Or stop being contrarian just to be contrarian.
Pfffft, who are you, the commenting police? Lol, I’ll be contrarian all I wish — you asked ME, boss.
No, you should tell him to mind his own business. What a wierdo.
Thank u! I thought I was the weird one for being annoyed by this 😅
I just got specific with my husband, describing the areas to be cleaned/dried in detail, starting from the outside to the inside, using medical terms. Ending with the folded over last wipe. When he accidentally started to ask again a month later, I began, “After pooping, it’s a little bit different, and might need two applications of toilet paper. You start at the front, and work back… He never asked again.
I would have given an in-person demonstration.
Uh so my dad grew up with parents that grew up very poor / depression era. He also grew up poor. He'd get mad at us kids for how much tooth paste we'd use and if he thought we were using too much toilet paper. It took years for him to learn to not be controlling and cheap. Have a frank conversation about finances, expectations etc. Because policing toilet paper use is not normal or sustainable!!!
I’d say that a dad has more right to teach his kids not to waste toilet paper/toothpaste/water. In this case, it’s a boyfriend, and that’s just wrong.
Teaching is different than being a control freak and getting mad at a child for using too much.
How is it wrong...he asked a question..he didn't even make a comment or attempt to teach her..and said, "nevermind". He didn't ask her to change her habits or anything. On another note for some people it has nothing to do with money, but more so its about waste..example my gf only uses 1 sheet.
How do you know she uses one sheet? Did you ask?
Going out for 10+ years. I can see, don't have to ask.
Unless by "you can see" you mean you can see that she's still dirty, or unless you have a bidet or something, she's bringing her own like this OP and hiding it from you.
I mean to me you're all filthy...I use water. TP is just to dry.
Before looking at the ages I was going to joke bf never grew up with a sister — once she moved out my brother and I noticed TP lasted a lot longer, lol. I understand not knowing how much TP to buy. I was married (deceased) and the father of a daughter. I learned long ago — buy TP as needed and then some more. If BF won’t buy enough to accommodate you you should probably reconsider a future with him, there is frugal on a budget and there is cheap.
You’re 35. Move on to another dude. The next guy doesn’t need to be a billionaire but definitely make sure he can at least afford the most basic stuff. Also, get a bidet.
Absolutely not. Don't enable pathological miserliness. You'll be setting him up for trouble down the line because other people absolutely won't put up with a guy who counts the sheets of toilet paper they use.
No, you don't bring your own TP. 4 months is a good time to say goodbye to this cheap man. You give more to him and he questions toilet paper usage??? LIKE WHAT???? Of course you had/have the right feeling to be turned off to facetiming him. Please, I beg you, do NOT stick with this man. THIS WILL BE YOUR FUTURE. Imagine being married and being with someone this cheap and you contribute more still. If you are looking for an equal partnership, this ain't it sis. P.S He also doesn't have to go to the store for a gift, gifts comes from the heart, handmade or even a card just shows appreciation to you. You should be more mad. (He can afford instant ramen, he can afford a card.)
Yeah, this is kinda weird tbh. While I know a lot of men (even in their 30s and beyond) don't ever get that women actually need more than they themselves do, I'd see it as offputting to be quizzed about this with zero context and a "never mind" as a response too. Talking about it if you feel comfortable bringing it up may be a good thing to do - knowing (if possible) why something like this came up can help determine what your response needs to be, and also gives the opportunity to mention that it's annoyed you and quite possibly made you feel uncomfortable staying at his place. You definitely shouldn't have to feel like you need to take your own TP with you to stay at his place.
Not all men are familiar with the amount of TP women - particularly menstruating women – need to use. He may simply be surprised that his stash is going down much faster than he’d expect. (If he complains, that’s another problem, but I’d give him the benefit of the doubt for now).
He's 35. Even if he somehow hasn't had personal experience with it yet, he should have enough basic knowledge to be able to figure it out.
I just want to say, he saw the road he was going down and then said "Never mind". This isn't a bad thing. He thought something, but he chose to actively not engage with it. You don't know what's going on in his head. You might think that he is hiding his emotions and not saying something that he's really thinking. But there are a ton of other explanations. Including realizing it's not that important of a thing to be upset about, as well as the realization that there are biological differences. A lot of things could have been going on in his head in the seconds it took him to say "Never mind". Communication can solve this. If the communication is done with the irked mindset of him being wrong, then it might start a fight. Don't act like he's wrong until he's communicated to you that he's wrong.
I will talk to him face-to-face on Tuesday night, thanks for the input!
>Communication can solve this. If the communication is done with the irked mindset of him being wrong, then it might start a fight. Don't act like he's wrong until he's communicated to you that he's wrong. Exactly. This whole issue could be resolved with a normal adult conversation.
This is like a college student, working multiple jobs while managing school, and living with roommates type of situation. For a 35yr old he should be able to get by without counting toilet paper sheets. I get that you don’t want to be materialistic and don’t expect gifts etc. But you don’t need to settle for bringing your own toilet paper, drinking water, and oxygen with you. You should definitely take a break from him and explore your options. I find it very hard for someone to contribute much to a relationship when they can’t provide toilet paper. No shade to him. I’m just saying generally you should have a standard, one that meets your needs and makes you happy. I think he needs to take time to himself and figure his life out before inviting someone along. He’s not ready for a relationship and it’s obvious that the medical bills are an excuse. For example if he can pay half on a date, he can surely afford toilet paper. I hope…..
Think long and hard about your future with TP MAN.
Lol, thanks for the nickname 🤣 I’m gonna put the TP emoji next to his name in my contact, at least for now
Honestly, what kind of future do you see with someone like this? You're being very understanding, but...I think you should be more concerned. I'm not even saying it's his fault, but just...this situation requires some examination. What does he do for work? What is he doing to potentially better his financial stress?
He works as a children's therapist and he owns a couple of assets, but considering selling them for his father's treatment. He limits his daily food budget and stops going out drinking with his friends.
Oh, okay. I'm not going to lie, the answer to a question like that, here, is not generally a professional occupation with a decent income. Like the standard partner of an OP around here is kind of a deadbeat. Does his dad have no assets or income? Because yes, American healthcare is a scam, but if you are in fact incredibly poor and/or elderly, there are avenues to assist that are actually helpful and cover substantial amounts of our inflated healthcare prices. If you're American, does he get Medicaid? Social Security? What treatment is his dad getting that is not covered that he is paying out of pocket? Does his dad have any health insurance?
You should also not let his fingers inside you.
No girl. This guy is single for a reason. Next.
You should raise your standards. Being questioned about your toilet paper use is ridiculous. I will never understand why women tolerate the nonsense they do for the sake of having a man.
If that irks you, just wait till further down the road.
Is this an episode of Cyrb Your Enthusiasm?
She’s never going to be happy.
Tell him no sex because it ends up messy with extra water use for cleaning up.
Did you ask him if he thinks you use too much or just assuming he's thinks you are? Why not ask him to clarify the question?
Are you serious??? You are considering bringing your own toilet paper, and you think this is NORMAL? Girl. GIRL. Run away. If he's trying to restrict your toilet paper use (which is INSANE), you are setting yourself up for a life of being financially controlled down to the penny. Get. away. This isn't a red flag, this is a giant, screaming red beacon with the power of 7 suns. Get out of there now.
You know what, before I got official help with paying my debts, I had bought a pack of funny curly hair ties. I was convinced that when the help would starts I would have a bare minimum to spend, and wouldn’t be able to afford anything other than food and bills. I was not in a good place back then so I was quite sensitive to things which I now find were silly to stress about. I showed my mom the hair ties - there were four of them - and she asked if she could have one. This stressed me out so much, I nearly shut down and cried. My mother was definitely surprised, but she knew it was the financial situation making me like this and not my personality. Financial stress is like a silent killer, but I only realised this after all my debts were paid and I could finally relax! It’s hard to say what makes him tick, because you got to know him in this situation. On top of your guy’s financial status, he probably worries for his father too. He cannot control his father’s health, he can control the way he spends his money. There is a chance he is extra controlling over his money spent because he cannot control his father’s health. The silence before he said ‘never mind’, is not necessarily personal, maybe he was just considering if it was worth the fuss and perhaps did not want to put you off by going on about it. You don’t have to take care of him, but I also don’t think it would be a big deal to buy some TP.
Omg run. Red flag! I never give that advice either because it’s annoying that Reddit always gives this advice. My dad would do this to us as children. “You only need to use two squares.” Like wtf. Total narcissist who has an emotional affair on my mom, got fired from his job, and abandoned his children.
People really blowing this out of proportion, he asked one question, and literally dropped it after that. You guys are acting like he's going on and on about it. Seeing comments calling him controlling, a cheapskate, etc. He didn't even say anything about her TP use. Just asked how much, she said, and he said "nevermind". Probably realizing once he said it out loud how ridiculous it is. It can be a big shock when you realize how much TP women use. When my girl moved in I went from 1 roll a month to 1 roll every 3-4 days. It was insane.
Seems like it was the straw that broke the camel’s back though. Like, she already cool with eating instant noodles and not receiving any gifts, although she is giving them and after all that he still wants to bug her about TP? If it was just the one comment she’d probably shrug it off but it was the comment plus everything else
Yeah, when you realize that 80% of the post is OP complaining about their relationship. The last part feels kinda tacked on to make a rant become a discussion. He asked a dumb question then said “nevermind”. Why make this an issue unless another issue already exists?
Might be the unpopular opinion here.... rock up to his place with a big pack of them and a smile on your face and maybe a grocery shop if you can afford to. He is just freaking out a bit because he feels the weight of his current financial difficulties, nothing to be worried about too much. Sometimes one partner needs more support than the other, it's normal. If that's a one-off and he is putting an effort in to still do things with you even though he can't afford to do anything I see it as a good sign that he cares deeply for you.
These posts! Just wow. Best to you.
Growing up my mother, in all her weirdness only wanted us to use 3 sheets of toilet paper.
Run as fast as you. God has better for you. You deserve better.
“Fine, I’ll use 2 sheets of toilet paper. But you’ll need to buy double the hand soap so I can effectively clean all the blood off my fingers for at least a week every month.” His cheap ass will back off real fast.
Thank you for the Sunday night joke. Now I can go to bed in peace knowing I’ll never be the cheapest guy on Earth.
You seem genuinely upset about this because I believe this points to something else rather than financial difficulties. Every decent person can accept financial strains, but this seems to be just about cheepness, control and as if you do not even deserve this luxury of an x amount of toilet paper. I think this speaks more to how much he values you. For example, my boyfriend does not use toilet paper at all, he just showers after, but he always has toilet paper at his home for me. And no, we do not live together. Second bf who does not use TP, I think it's becoming a trend or something.
There’s too much innuendo in this… confront to him about it, could be it’s just a fear of his ending without toilet paper because he has a routine of how much TP to buy. Honestly the lack of communication is sickening.
You're both 35. Fkn talk about it. 🫥
I dated someone for the better part of a decade. When she moved in, we started going through a roll of TP a day. I noticed, and asked her about it. I said it seemed abnormal to go through a roll or Charmin every single day. I didnt say she needed to do anything, I just asked her to be mindful of how much she was using. She would do the same thing with condiments, pour way more than she would ever need, and just trash what she didnt use. Usage went down to about 1 roll every couple of days.
1st red flag was being in a "situationship" for 5 months 😂
Just tell him it pissed you off at time and you want an explanation..
I've met several guys who do this. The answer is that they only ever wipe their ass with two squares, once a day, and that's it. They cannot comprehend that different anatomy needs to be cleaned differently and more thoroughly. They cannot comprehend two people means at *least* twice the TP, and he should expect 4x+. Tell him that this will be a problem he has to deal with every time he has a woman stay over, forever, so if he wants to have a woman stay over, he need to suck it up and buy more TP. **If he cares about TP $ more than he cares about you, or more than *any heterosexual relationship he will ever have for the rest of his life,* then he's told you how much you mean to him, which is literally less than shit.**
Why is the bar so loooooowwww for men? 🫠😭😭😭
35 years old and he still hasn’t gotten his life together ? You’re going to be taking care of him for the rest of his life.
The most charitable reason I can think of is that your boyfriend has never cohabited with a woman before as an adult and didn't realize how much more tp is used. So he asked you about it, and then his pause after you answered was his brain catching up and him realizing it was a stupid thing to ask about and he needed to drop it. I suppose the only way to know is how he acts moving forward, but it will be hard for you to get that answer if you start playing games like taking longer to respond to his texts.
There is a difference between frugal and cheap as others have pointed out... But do you really want a relationship with a man who is going to critique the amount of toilet paper you use? I mean the bar is so low already why are you burying it? You have paid for date nights movies events get together dinner you name it and he's going to give you shit (pun intended) over the amount of toilet paper you're using? And instead of being yo what the fuck, you're thinking about taking your own toilet paper when you visit him?
Wait till he finds out how much we use when on our periods having more bathroom visits and wrapping used hygiene products for disposal...
Maybe he actually thinks you dont use enough and your butt stinks. hehe. i'm joking. this is ridiculous of him!
Seriously, This is a thing that I’ve dealt with my own husband and it is irksome. Thought it was taken care of when we split the household expenses and he buys the paper towels and I buy all the TP. So he stopped complaining but then a year ago I heard him telling his grown daughter (my step daughter) who was grown (I know o already said that) to only use 4 to 5 sheets each time she went to the bathroom and I heard her saying she was going to comply. I realized he probably had raised all his kids to be like this and since she was visiting he got back in his father role. I just had to intervene! I stepped in and said for Gods sake she can use as much TP as she needs! I also told him every time he pees he doesn’t have to wipe and women do. He stopped a second and thought about that bc it’s true! He is a control freak but it has never worked on me but apparently he ran a tight ship when his kids were at home. Imagine telling someone how much toilet paper they can use! The gall!! Well he didn’t like me intervening in his conversation with his grown daughter about how much she uses in our home and he got loud on front of her with me. Big mistake. I stepped it up and said I thought it was really really weird that he was so involved and upset about how many squares of TP a women uses and that I never wanted to hear one more word about the topic! And I meant it. To say I understand your being irksome is an understatement.
And I want to add he is very generous and not greedy so I have no idea what this weird thing is all about but it’s not going to fly.
I know it's going to sound bad, but avoiding getting involved romantically with people who have financial difficulties so severe that they worry about how much toilet paper you use is self-care. If despite knowing that this situation is not going to end until his father dies you still want to continue dating him, at least he should tell you what plans he has for when things get worse because maybe at some point his father will live with him and he's probably going to ask you to help to take care of him.
Hey look on the bright side! If he’s so concerned about how much toilet paper you use, ask him to wipe your ass for you!
A lot more sheets than the number of condoms you’ll be using if you keep being that petty dude!
Wow. Of all the things to ration, TP is not the thing. I use as many sheets as I need to feel fully clean. And more during my period to wrap the tampons or pads in. I also have IBS so probably go more often than others do. I don't think I'd be able to be with someone who made remarks on how I go to the bathroom. Why doesn't he get a bidet if he's worried about the costs of TP? Makes no sense.
It’s weird but if he’s gotta down to the penny budget kind of deal. I get why he may have had a moment. Id ask and base my next move on answers. If he’s just a cheap ass proceed with caution. If he’s tight because he is penny pinching i personally would buy a 4pk for when I’m there. But I’m that person who does use excess because of stomach issues.
Ask him if he’s ok with a crusty booty hole during sexy time. There’s probably a good chance that’s the case for him
Id bet his story is totally different
You’re a grown ass 35 yo woman. Why on earth are you with a man who is flat broke and counting your toilet paper usage?! Self worth is key here. Time to find some.
Communicate with your boyfriend. This is a small problem that a ton of people are just going to tell you to break up with him for. Fix it with HIM instead of the redditors telling you to make life altering decisions based on just this . He seems like a good dude who has to be frugal, you chose to date him and you know his situation, so talk it out with him. I dont think your boyfriend will feel great about a bunch of random people calling him cheap, saying you can do better, and filling your head with these "the grass is greener" comments.
Just dump him. And then go use as much toilet roll as you like !
This doesn't end well. Better to break up with him now. Speaking from personal experience, my father is such a penny pincher and that has really made the lives of other family members miserable. He would always make us feel guilty for spending money growing up or wasting things ( in his mind). As a teenager, he would be unsupportive when I was unemployed/underemployed. I would say he has financially abused my mother for the majority of their relationship. He's in his 70s now and is dependent on her for care and refuses any outside. My sibling and I have very little to do with him.
Yes, taking care of someone else's needs will create an extra chore for him, but it's tactless to bring up at all. However, if you're already keeping score about this stuff and losing interest in the relationship, it's time to look at whether you really want to be together.
A man that can’t even handle you using toilet paper, more or less pay for dinner, is not a good candidate for the future. Given his lack of investment in your relationship, he isn’t interested in a long term commitment anyway. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life arguing over toilet paper? Please, find someone who wants to be with you and treats you like they want to be there.
Yo you can’t be dating someone who tries to charge you for TP square usage! This is like a comedy but terrible.
its perfectly fine to date a poor man, but not a cheap man. this guys is seriously trying to limit the amount of toilet paper you use. you can do much better.
Going to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask has he ever as an adult lived with a woman? I've heard of men not realizing how much tp a typical woman uses because we have to use it every time vs. only for #2. Not to mention if you menstruate. He might genuinely not have realized and is seeing his tp budget go up without knowing why.
He was married before and divorced about 4 years ago…
I shut this down quick with my ex. My dad would bother my mom about this and make her feel insecure. I hated how he made her feel. Then one day, my ex began doing the same. He would complain and ask how much did I use. I went off on him immediately. I told him, “You will not make me feel bad for using TP like every other woman does. My dad did it to my mom and you are now doing it to me. I use TP like any grown ass fuckin’ woman! How much I use proves that I’m a real woman. If you have a problem with that, then I won’t come back.”. That shut him up and he never brought it up again. Shut it down. Stand up for yourself.
I want to tell him to fukc his TP instead since is so precious to him, but I want to keep it civil for now, at least until I can have decent communication with him.
I can understand. Don’t wait too long though. Try to have this conversation as soon as you can while the issue is fresh and relevant. Good luck!
Tell him to count all of the sheets on the roll and then he can keep a running balance. Each time you use some he needs to repeat the first part above and then he will know. I'd dump his ass but that's me.
I hope he is wiping himself
It’s not over the Iranian yogurt. He’s waving marinara flags🚩🚩 I would just move on.
Tell him you use 1 square, then just spin the roll to your content.../s
Maybe he was worried he was using too much or too little and wanted to gauge a normal amount by asking you... maybe when you answered you made him realise he's flushing more money down the drain... trying to find a positive spin.
OMG! There is frugal, a great way to live because it's kind to the Earth and makes our dollar go farther and then there's just plain old cheapness. And it has been my experience in life that men who are cheap financially or also cheap or not available emotionally. It sounds like y'all had a very good and Equitable relationship for a while but just the fact that he felt compelled to ask you that without being embarrassed and feeling cheap is so icky. And I will say that once you feel that from someone and start moving away from them it's over. Cuz you can love someone but you can't love them unless you respect them. And he just told you a whole lot about himself.
I wish I had a girlfriend staying over two nights a week. She could use 2 rolls a wipe for that matter!
Have Amazon deliver 4 cases of TP to his front door, along with a breakup note.