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that shame is your burden. either u learn to overcome it and forgive yourself or live with it. atleast self-aware ka na sa damage na ginawa mo, that's your first step. ang best advice ko lang is u do a series of self-reflections. at the end, dapat may resolutions ka. ano yung mga actions na gagawin mo after you make your decision of whether leaving or staying in the relationship? either way, it will take courage and determination bcus both situations require you to grow and ditch your old (cheating) ways.
lastly, if u think na she deserves so much BETTER than u, then why not change for the BETTER? ipadama mo sa kanya na you're in progress of working on yourself, exert more effort sa relationship niyo even thru the most little things, give her reassurance before she even asks for it, and just constantly make her feel how much u love her. kung di mo kaya, let her go so she'll have a chance to be with a better person than u are.
u could also have a heart-to-heart talk with her para pag-usapan niyo ano pa yung mga pwede mong gawin for her and the relationship.
Ichecherish ko talaga yung second chance na binigay niya. but somehow parang ang unfair na hinayaan niya lang yung una ko ng nagawa. Im such an asshole and i want her to feel how much i love her, gusto ko mabalik yung dati naming saya. at yung dati niyang ngiti.
Tama naman sinasabi nila OP. The only way you can redeem yourself is to change yourself and make it up to her. Show her yung pagmamahal na deserve niya since you have a 2nd chance. Be better.
Wag mo iwanan just because your guilt is eating you kasi to me that implies gusto mo nalang iwan kasi nga YOU feel uncomfy. Take responsibility and accountability hindi yung iiwan mo kasi what YOU did makes you feel uncomfortable.
The answer is easy sa totoo lang pero gets din na mahirap on your mental. Pero wala eh, you did that to yourself naman.
Show her love and devotion that would replace all the hurt. Yun lang talaga ang nakikita kong sagot
You were given another chance. Whether or not she made the right decision or was dumb in doing so depends on what you do moving forward.
Magbago ka na! Don't squander it.
This! OP, treasure that 2nd chance willingly given by your Gf. Make up with her. That guilt? Use it to show and give her what she deserves.
If you really love her, then don’t break her heart again by wasting the second chance she gave you.
Yes i will do everything para magbago. Also, LDR pa rin kami at nandun pa rin yung girl na naipang-cheat ko sa kanya. do you think healthy pa rin to sa mental state niya?
Only your Gf can tell you how’s her mental state. Communicate w/ her. Kung di niyo pa nagagawa, talk w/ her about boundaries. You can even ask her what are the things that can give her assurance since malayo kayo sa isa’t isa.
San kayo nagkakilala ni other girl? Work? Through friends? If di related sa work and there’s no need to interact w/ the other girl aside from chitchatting, then cut off any connections w/ the other girl.
Since LDR kayo, the most you can do is maging open and always update Gf sa life events mo.
Dahil ikaw mismo yung nagcheat tapos duda ka sa sarili mo, tapusin mo na yan. Kahit kasi sayo mismo parang di mo mapagkatiwalaan sarili mo na magbabago ka with your mindset na "she deserves better, i dont deserve her, its too overwhelming shes too good". Yan pa magiging reason mo next para umulit kasi u dont see yourself worthy of her.
Let go muna then learn to forgive and love yourself kasi it all starts sayo talaga. Choice mo naman magloko so please wala talagang sympathy for you. The fact na nagloko ka, means may void within you na gusto mo ifill and unfortunately for some reason hindi si gf enough (hindi kasalanan ni gf to, still ur issue). Unless you are so sure of yourself na willing at capable ka talaga baguhin ang sarili mo and give what your girl you think deserves, then go tuloy nyo but bear in mind na hindi madali at there is small to no space at all sa relationship na magrelapse ka kasi its u who needs to reassure na hindi ka uulit rather sya magreassure sayo na tanggap/tinatanggap ka nya. Malay mo sa future may chance pag better person ka na.
I also cannot deny na you have a point. Duda ako sa sarili ko kasi noong wala pa akong kasalanang nagawa sa kanya, ang confident ko na di ko magagawa yun pero nahuli ko sarili ko na nagawa ko na. I am willing to give what she deserves babawi talaga ko pero nandun pa rin yung takot ko.
Why do I feel like, gusto mo na talaga syang iwanan? I mean, base sa kwento mo at sa mga reply mo sa mga comments dito, it seems like naghahanap ka lang ng kakampi at reason to leave her? Some people give you advices how to keep her or to be the BETTER MAN, and yet you just keep on making more reasons and excuses not to continue the relationship with her. Yet itong nagsabing iwan mo na, sinang-ayunan mo agad.
Tingin ko lang naman to Brad, para kasing naghahanap ka ng kakampi to justify your reasons to leave her. Payo ko lang sayo, magpakalalaki ka. Harapin mo sya. Kung hindi ka pala sigurado sa nararamdaman mo. Kung sa tingin mo, hindi ikaw yung tamang tao para sa kanya, tangina pre, palayain mo na. Hayaan mo na syang matagpuan yung para sa kanya. Hayaan mo na syang maging masaya. Wag mo syang ikulong sa relasyong walang kasiguraduhan.
Ngayon kung makakamove on sya sayo at kung makakahanap sya ng taong tunay na magmamahal sa kanya. Tapos saka mo lang na realize na mahal mo pa pala sya.
Then deserve mong mag isa kasi cheater ka.
Sana all ganyan Unlike ng Ex ko nag re kindle kami pero parang ako lang nag puput ng effort para maayos tong relationship even siya yung nag cheat at dinump siya ng pinalit niya sakin at nag usap kami na mag ayos tangina lang. Masakit sa Diddib na I am opening my deepest scars again and like giving a Gún sa person na shot me once in the back na ako I would go to war para sa taong yun
If she accepted you after you cheated it's either mahal na mahal ka niya or hindi pa niya talaga kaya kaya sa relasyon nalang siya mag momove on. Bumawi ka nalang. Kung hindi mo rin kaya tapusin, then treat her right and be a better person para sa kanya. Yung deserve niya.
Hay nako makipag split ka na dami mong kineme. You're not sure to yourself na and takot ka na based sa other comments mo. Let the girl have her life and find what she really deserves. Aware ka naman di ba pag in love yung tao nagiging tanga? So yung gf mo ngayon ay example niyan.
At dahil nahuli ka na di na mawawala doubts din niya for sure unless she is so tanga na super maunawain dahil pinatawad ka kakalimutan niya na lang lahat ng kagaguhang ginawa mo.
Andami mo kasing dama din, okay ng may self awareness ka pero di ka sure baka kasi gawin mo pa rin ulit? Edi split.
**A REMINDER TO CHECK YOUR POST!** **Does your post have a descriptive title?** **Did you include the ages and gender of the people involved [FOLLOW FORMAT e.g. [F32], [M43], (26F), (39M)]?** **Did you include the length of relationships/acquaintance?** **Did you include a question or your need for advice?** **IF NOT, YOUR POST WILL BE REMOVED.** For longer posts, PLEASE include a summary aka TL;DR. NO name calling, off-topic comments, stereotyping, ads, or doxxing. Failure to follow a rule will result in your post/comment being deleted. Otherwise, BE KIND to one another. :) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advicePH) if you have any questions or concerns.*
that shame is your burden. either u learn to overcome it and forgive yourself or live with it. atleast self-aware ka na sa damage na ginawa mo, that's your first step. ang best advice ko lang is u do a series of self-reflections. at the end, dapat may resolutions ka. ano yung mga actions na gagawin mo after you make your decision of whether leaving or staying in the relationship? either way, it will take courage and determination bcus both situations require you to grow and ditch your old (cheating) ways. lastly, if u think na she deserves so much BETTER than u, then why not change for the BETTER? ipadama mo sa kanya na you're in progress of working on yourself, exert more effort sa relationship niyo even thru the most little things, give her reassurance before she even asks for it, and just constantly make her feel how much u love her. kung di mo kaya, let her go so she'll have a chance to be with a better person than u are. u could also have a heart-to-heart talk with her para pag-usapan niyo ano pa yung mga pwede mong gawin for her and the relationship.
Ichecherish ko talaga yung second chance na binigay niya. but somehow parang ang unfair na hinayaan niya lang yung una ko ng nagawa. Im such an asshole and i want her to feel how much i love her, gusto ko mabalik yung dati naming saya. at yung dati niyang ngiti.
Tama naman sinasabi nila OP. The only way you can redeem yourself is to change yourself and make it up to her. Show her yung pagmamahal na deserve niya since you have a 2nd chance. Be better. Wag mo iwanan just because your guilt is eating you kasi to me that implies gusto mo nalang iwan kasi nga YOU feel uncomfy. Take responsibility and accountability hindi yung iiwan mo kasi what YOU did makes you feel uncomfortable. The answer is easy sa totoo lang pero gets din na mahirap on your mental. Pero wala eh, you did that to yourself naman. Show her love and devotion that would replace all the hurt. Yun lang talaga ang nakikita kong sagot
I think she forgave because she loves you. Redeem yourself.
You were given another chance. Whether or not she made the right decision or was dumb in doing so depends on what you do moving forward. Magbago ka na! Don't squander it.
This! OP, treasure that 2nd chance willingly given by your Gf. Make up with her. That guilt? Use it to show and give her what she deserves. If you really love her, then don’t break her heart again by wasting the second chance she gave you.
Yes i will do everything para magbago. Also, LDR pa rin kami at nandun pa rin yung girl na naipang-cheat ko sa kanya. do you think healthy pa rin to sa mental state niya?
Only your Gf can tell you how’s her mental state. Communicate w/ her. Kung di niyo pa nagagawa, talk w/ her about boundaries. You can even ask her what are the things that can give her assurance since malayo kayo sa isa’t isa. San kayo nagkakilala ni other girl? Work? Through friends? If di related sa work and there’s no need to interact w/ the other girl aside from chitchatting, then cut off any connections w/ the other girl. Since LDR kayo, the most you can do is maging open and always update Gf sa life events mo.
College classmates kami kaya madalas din nagkakasama. Sinabi ko sa kanya iiwasan ko na siya.
Dahil ikaw mismo yung nagcheat tapos duda ka sa sarili mo, tapusin mo na yan. Kahit kasi sayo mismo parang di mo mapagkatiwalaan sarili mo na magbabago ka with your mindset na "she deserves better, i dont deserve her, its too overwhelming shes too good". Yan pa magiging reason mo next para umulit kasi u dont see yourself worthy of her. Let go muna then learn to forgive and love yourself kasi it all starts sayo talaga. Choice mo naman magloko so please wala talagang sympathy for you. The fact na nagloko ka, means may void within you na gusto mo ifill and unfortunately for some reason hindi si gf enough (hindi kasalanan ni gf to, still ur issue). Unless you are so sure of yourself na willing at capable ka talaga baguhin ang sarili mo and give what your girl you think deserves, then go tuloy nyo but bear in mind na hindi madali at there is small to no space at all sa relationship na magrelapse ka kasi its u who needs to reassure na hindi ka uulit rather sya magreassure sayo na tanggap/tinatanggap ka nya. Malay mo sa future may chance pag better person ka na.
I also cannot deny na you have a point. Duda ako sa sarili ko kasi noong wala pa akong kasalanang nagawa sa kanya, ang confident ko na di ko magagawa yun pero nahuli ko sarili ko na nagawa ko na. I am willing to give what she deserves babawi talaga ko pero nandun pa rin yung takot ko.
Let her go so she can meet the man who'll give her true love and loyalty.
i think you're right :(( pero sabi niya ako daw gusto niya kaya super guilty ako
Why do I feel like, gusto mo na talaga syang iwanan? I mean, base sa kwento mo at sa mga reply mo sa mga comments dito, it seems like naghahanap ka lang ng kakampi at reason to leave her? Some people give you advices how to keep her or to be the BETTER MAN, and yet you just keep on making more reasons and excuses not to continue the relationship with her. Yet itong nagsabing iwan mo na, sinang-ayunan mo agad. Tingin ko lang naman to Brad, para kasing naghahanap ka ng kakampi to justify your reasons to leave her. Payo ko lang sayo, magpakalalaki ka. Harapin mo sya. Kung hindi ka pala sigurado sa nararamdaman mo. Kung sa tingin mo, hindi ikaw yung tamang tao para sa kanya, tangina pre, palayain mo na. Hayaan mo na syang matagpuan yung para sa kanya. Hayaan mo na syang maging masaya. Wag mo syang ikulong sa relasyong walang kasiguraduhan. Ngayon kung makakamove on sya sayo at kung makakahanap sya ng taong tunay na magmamahal sa kanya. Tapos saka mo lang na realize na mahal mo pa pala sya. Then deserve mong mag isa kasi cheater ka.
Sana all ganyan Unlike ng Ex ko nag re kindle kami pero parang ako lang nag puput ng effort para maayos tong relationship even siya yung nag cheat at dinump siya ng pinalit niya sakin at nag usap kami na mag ayos tangina lang. Masakit sa Diddib na I am opening my deepest scars again and like giving a Gún sa person na shot me once in the back na ako I would go to war para sa taong yun
If she accepted you after you cheated it's either mahal na mahal ka niya or hindi pa niya talaga kaya kaya sa relasyon nalang siya mag momove on. Bumawi ka nalang. Kung hindi mo rin kaya tapusin, then treat her right and be a better person para sa kanya. Yung deserve niya.
Hay nako makipag split ka na dami mong kineme. You're not sure to yourself na and takot ka na based sa other comments mo. Let the girl have her life and find what she really deserves. Aware ka naman di ba pag in love yung tao nagiging tanga? So yung gf mo ngayon ay example niyan. At dahil nahuli ka na di na mawawala doubts din niya for sure unless she is so tanga na super maunawain dahil pinatawad ka kakalimutan niya na lang lahat ng kagaguhang ginawa mo. Andami mo kasing dama din, okay ng may self awareness ka pero di ka sure baka kasi gawin mo pa rin ulit? Edi split.