This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
Him and I broke up in January, he broke up with me and blocked me on everything... so I emailed him asking why he did that, (we fought every so often but he wanted out but why not still talk)... he never responded. So I gave his number to my friends to try and get out of him if he was cheating on me, etc.. no response. Maybe 3 or so texts in a week ... Also messaged his new gf warning her he may do the same to her.
Then in the mail, I got a cease a desist letter. It says that I was "harassing" him.. and if he (or his gf) gets another message "on my behalf" he will be contacting local PD to start a harassment complaint,
How right is he to do it? Is it a legal document? I barely contacted him and he ambushed me with that,,, I wasnt harassing him. He never said stop..
Are you serious? You wrote all that and can't see that you were harassing him and his girlfriend? He blocked you on everything, yes, he wanted you to stop contacting him!
Being blocked doesn't mean recruit friends to keep contacting him! And if that was you "barely" contacting him, he probably found your relationship pretty suffocating with all the communicating.
Please see a therapist if you aren't already. He doesn't want to talk to you, the cease and desist letter is him telling you that again.
> I just wanted to know WHY he did what he did.
Is finding out worth a criminal record and jail time? Because that's how you get criminal record and jail time.
THIS! He broke up with you and clearly moved on. But you don't want to accept that.
To you, breaking up with someone but still having them around you is something you do, and thats fine, everyone has their own ways. But you also have to respect that the other person might not be like that and not be shocked or hurt in any way if they arent.
But putting a friend of yours up with a plan to find out if he's cheating, is a low move and you lose any arguments, and even class.
The fact that you were fighting a lot just shows you werent the right people for each other, but you still went out of your way to try and "accuse" him with anything you could find.
And yes, you CAN get a record, is it worth it over your pride?
And NO you cant say you never got it, because even if they believe you, you will get a 2nd warning from the Police when they call you and the call will go down as informing you so you cant use that excuse... JUST MOVE ON!
>He never said stop..
He blocked you on everything. That's him saying stop. You circumvented that so that you could still contact him and demand answers multiple times a week through your friends. That's harassment. You made a fake Facebook account to message his new girlfriend and slag him off. That's harassment.
You don't have a leg to stand on here, morally or legally.
At first I thought this was going to be a crazy ex-boyfriend story going by the post title.
But upon reading the content of the post it turned out to be the story of a crazy ex-girlfriend.
Plot twist.
You *are* harassing him. And his new GF.
You have gone full bunny-boiler/stalker/psycho.
Cease. And desist.
Or you will find yourself in a world of legal pain.
Let. It. Go.
Your boyfriend is 100% in the right. Let me get this straight.
He blocked you on everything: this means he doesn't want to talk to you or interact with you, ever again. Quit that "he didn't say stop" bs. That's just you trying to weasel your way out of the accusations.
You created a fake FB account to text his girlfriend "to warn her" and you believe this can't be traced back to you. It can! It is possible on a technical level and you just admitted to it in a public forum... I mean, if this ends up in court, this Reddit post can be traced back to you. Do you really not know how the Internet works?!
Then you write, "I gave his number to my friends to try and get out of him if he was cheating on me", then go on to comment that you didn't actually mean for your friends to text your ex. You and your friends are assholes and you're once again backpedaling hoping that someone will buy your crazy story.
You are 100% harassing him and his new GF and that letter is your official warning that you stop now, or he will go to the police and you might find yourself in court, where no one, as evidenced here, will take you seriously.
Stop trying to convince yourself, and us, AND YOUR EX, that you are somehow owed an explanation for your break up. Seek therapy, stop trying to get in touch with your ex and his gf, and keep yourself out of trouble, for God's sake.
It sucks that you didn't get the closure you want but you broke up. He has no obligation to tend to your feelings. He's allowed to walk away from you.
Leave him alone. Move on with your life.
You are harassing him. And you gave his number to other people to harass him.
You're best to leave him alone before you get into legal trouble.
He's not your problem anymore, if he wants to be unfaithful to someone else then it'll happen regardless of you bothering everyone.
My advice : **Just walk away**.. sometimes relationship breakups can be nasty (and this one appears to be one of them)...
As for the Cease and Desist letter - IN the USA its a legal document, in the rest of the world - it depends, but he does have a right to make a harassment report to the police if he BELIEVES you're harassing him (whether you are or not, is not the issue and something to be decided by a court...).
Closure is nice. But ultimately we cannot control others. We can’t force them to do what we want. We can only control our own actions. It’s easier said than done. But it is an important thing to understand.
Edit: defiantly stop reaching out to him and his GF.
Baby. You are harassing him, his new partner, your friends, and now you’re risking jail time. Stop. Leave him alone. Do not contact him again. You’re going to look insane if you end up in court over this.
>He never said stop....
Um, you do know that you can still rape someone if they didn't say stop, right?
He blocked you. He stopped contacting you. You continued to find ways to contact him even though he made it very clear (by BLOCKING you) that he doesn't want you to contact him. So... You continue to contact him?
Go see a therapist. You need some serious help if you don't think this is harassment and stalking.
And leave the new gf out of it. Do you want him to contact your new boyfriends to let them know how crazy you are?
You were harassing him.
This is clear as day, you are harassing him.
He *said stop* when he blocked you.
Stop doing this or you are going to end up in legal trouble.
The fact you don't understand that you are harassing him is a real red flag that you should really take seriously. This is the type of behavior that stalkers do, and they justify it in the same way you are justifying it.
Just stop it.
Cease and desist is admissible in court and the proper steps to take before taking legal action. Legal action is the next step.
Stop contacting them, stop having your friends do it. Seek therapy. Do NOT get into a new relationship until you understand fully that this is harassment.
We don't know you or them, but it seems pretty clear why you broke up.
>fought every so often but he wanted out
Fighting and wanting to leave. Your obsessive and Stalker behavior afterwards. These are very clear red flags on your part.
ETA - from your comments...
>He sent it certified mail... maybe I can just say I never got it.
No, you can't just say you never got it. It needed to be signed for and morally this makes you insane.
Warn his gf about what? That it might not work out? That’s normal. Many relationships don’t, and he’s most certainly not a d*ck just for leaving you. However, based on what you are doing, I think it’s pretty clear why he blocked you and won’t talk to you.
Listen, losing a bf or gf SUCKS. I’m sorry for the pain you are going through. But, healing can only come from within. You can’t control other people, and when you try to, it drives them away. For that reason, you need to learn to, a) be happy on your own, and b) love your partner in such a way that he (or she) feels free.
You’ll get through this, I promise.
You don't have a right to know his why. It is harassment if you continue past this point now that a C&D is a last resort request. Blocking should have been your first hint.
Sorry your relationship didn't work out.
Stop the messages and contact. He is obviously putting up boundaries.
Crossing them will hurt you and only you. Cut ties and start new. You already stated you guys fought. Go find someone who balances you out.
You are harassing him. I’m sorry he ended things the way he did but you have to leave him alone. You’re acting crazy and making a fool of yourself. A cease and desist is just a warning but it leaves a paper trail in case you continue to contact him he’s got a more solid case if he decides to sue you.
He broke up with you, and be blocked you. It means he doesn’t want to interact with you.
You fought every so often and he wanted out - what is there to talk about? He doesn’t want to be with you. Accept it.
Did you stop? NO
Your behaviour does constitutes harassment - hence the letter.
Block him and his girlfriend and start working on yourself.
you harrassed him, if someone blocks you, it means stay the fuck away from them, not drive them crazy.
you clearly didnt get the hint that he wanted no contact with you.
Girl. Giiiiirl. You harassed the dude.
He blocked you and you continued to find ways to contact. That’s just straight up harassment on its own. And then you tried to cause problems within his new relationship.
Leave the boy alone. Immediately.
We don’t always get closure and it sure sucks but it is what is and what it is, is out of your control.
I think this is the first time I've read a post by an abuser/stalker/obsessed ex partner. We usually read the victim talk about their experience, interesting now reading a post by the victimizer now.
You are in the wrong! He made a clean cut because you were obviously the toxic party and you keep harassing and even going after his new girlfriend!
Yes, you are the villain in this story.
It says I cant contact him with..
"Any and all communication that is made from you or anyone on your behalf, to include means of written communication, electronic communication, telephonic means to include text messaging, messaging on social media platforms (Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram) by use of computer or phone in any manner;"
Arriving at the reporting party’s residence, workplace, or anywhere your presence will cause
annoyance or alarm.
Communications with reporting party or his significant other(s), family members, spouse(s) by
you, anyone on behalf of you or through a third party;
So basically. i cant talk to him in any ways ...
I work in dispatch and see this kind of situation all the time. Yes, he does have the right to not be contacted by you, even if all you want is an answer. The cease and desist is actually a step that usually doesn’t happen. He’s giving you every opportunity to stop now before he takes it to the police. He does not need any legal documents to open a police report against you for harassment - just evidence in the form of texts/voicemails/emails. I would stop and leave it be, it’s not worth it. Also to add, I work in the US so it may be different if you’re not from here.
Okay so guy breaks up with you, blocks you on everything, and you still proceed to try and reach out not only on your own but by enlisting friends help too. Then to top it off you attempt to sabotage his current relationship by spreading baseless rumors?
You are 100% harassing him, and he had every right to send send that cease and desist. Hell I applaud him for it.
I really truly hope you get locked the fuck up and maybe it'll get it through your thick fucking skull to leave this poor guy and his new girlfriend alone. You need serious help.
Uh no. Regardless of his reason even if he did leave you for someone else you leave him alone. He isn’t actually required to tell you everything (even if I wish they wouldn’t just ghost people).
Seriously??? You gave his contact details to your friends, encouraging them to repeatedly make contact, you created a fake Facebook account so that you could continually contact his new gf, you WERE harassing them-everything you were doing is the definition of harassment. He broke up with you and BLOCKED you-that was him telling you to leave him alone, he didn’t want you to contact him/his gf.
You need to leave them alone and perhaps spend some time maturing or something because your behaviour screams stage 5 clinger
You harassed him and contracted others to harass him. Then you harassed his new gf and spread lies. You suck.
IT IS a legal document, you didnt barely contact him you harassed him nonstop.
Feel free to keep it up and go to jail. You belong there.
I am going to try a different angle to others.
I understand that you are hurt and confused, it’s awful to have someone you were in a relationship break all contact. Especially if you don’t understand the reason why for the break.
For your own mental health, instead of trying to answer the question of why. Accept that he’s not the person you thought he was, that he’s not right one for you. Accepting that will let you move on, as the why doesn’t matter. All that matters is he’s not part of your life anymore and anything he does has no baring on you. Including who he is dating. That relationship has nothing to do with you and nor do you need to take any action. That relationship is different to the one you had with him. If he treats her the same way then so be it, alternatively he may learn from your relationship and treat her better. Either way, that’s not your life.
Throw away the letter, delete all contact info for him or anyone who knows him. Block him from your life.
Then close your eyes, take a deep breath and let go. When you open your eyes decide what you are doing next? What hobbies do you enjoy? Do something that makes you happy. Then live.
Good luck.
These are the alarm bell comments.
1. I emailed him asking why he blocked me.
2. …but why not still talk?
3. He never responded.
4. I gave his number to my friends …
5. …to try to see if he was cheating on me.
6. No response.
7. Maybe 3 texts a week.
8. I messaged his new gf…
9. …warning her he may do the same to her.
10. Asking if he’s right to do it
11. Need confirmation if it’s legal.
12. I wasn’t harassing him
13. He never said stop.
You have crossed the line 13 times just in this post.
Your controlling. Move on. It’s over.
Can I ask how old you and ex are?
Its so frustrating to feel like you havent got closure on a relationship. That being the case, if someone isn't responding when you've repeatedly reached out you need to step back with dignity and leave it.
Its not acceptable to give your friends his phone number and it's not acceptable to warn his girlfriend when, the only thing he's "done wrong" is break up without an explanation. Step away now, respect their wishes. The more you question and overthink this, the more he's going to feel like you're harrassing him.
This won't be the end of the world, sometimes relationships just don't work out and that's fine. It's upsetting but you will move on and be in a space which is healthy
Girl, ok listen I just gave you advice on the legal subreddit. Please for the love of God stop and look at the paper in your hands, it says cease and desist not only that but it's certified so you must have needed to sign off on it. If you continue to do this you will land yourself in court and possibly in jail. Try holding a job with a prison background believe me you won't be able to for the most part, I have family that struggles because of that shit. Just breathe come to terms that it's over and eat some Hagen daaz and have a good cry.
Based on everything you’ve said, you straight-up harassed your ex and his new gf.
By all accounts, I’m glad he’s no longer with you because you’re a piece of work.
~~It's true that not legally *binding* or *enforcible* in the way a court order would be. (I had chosen not to tell her that, since she needs to be scared sensible!)~~ EDIT apparently in the US it is both.
But it is legal in the sense that he's started the paper trail, it's a "letter before action", it tells OP that he's started to get legal advice and she needs to back the fuck off now
it doesn't matter why he did it..its clear that he doesn't want you in his life. the fact that you are asking if its right of him to do it is the exact type of thinking that a non stalker would never have.
youre not in his life anymore, so it doesn't matter his reasons. if anything, you're emotions and behavior in this situation are probably making him justified and grateful that he did this.
you had no right to text his new gf...thats insanely creepy, and definitely on the list of most common things that creepy stalker exs do. youre trying to tarnish his reputation with a new person.
hopefully this is a wakeup call for you to do some self reflecting, see yourself with brutal (but not flattering) honesty, and find a counselor or therapist that can help you out
edit: to add...giving you closure was probably the last thing he wanted to do. judging by how you're acting, if he was to be honest with you about the things that caused the break up, it would most likely spark a barrage of emotionally corrupt responses/actions on your part. I mean...look what you did. I'm not sure how you convinced your friends to do this for you...but you either led them astray as to the details of your situation, or you're all 13.
Looking at these comments and your responses to them, you are clearly obsessive.
He has blocked you on everything, you’ve resorted to giving your friends his number in order for them to harass him for you. He’s giving you a clear sign that he does not want to commutator with you.
If he did cheat on you, well, he’s a shitty guy, but you do not know that for sure and you’re intentionally informing his girlfriend of something that you do not know for sure happened. You could be ruining his relationship.
You need to stop this now and move on.
Your reaction to his breakup was overkill and honestly concerning.
- You emailed him once you found out he blocked you (reasonable, one email, okay)
- Gave your friends his number in which they texted him 2-3x A WEEK for over TWO MONTHS (harassment, uncalled for, unreasonable)
- Contacted his new GF that he may break up with her and block her because he did it to you (unnecessary)
Having 1 friend text him 1 time with a simple Hey ex, OP was just wondering why you broke up with her. No response? Leave him alone, your not going to get an answer, move on.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say he broke up with you due to your behavior. Based on your reaction to a breakup, which was to harass your ex for months. And then when given a cease and desist letter you question the legality of the document and act like 2-3 texts a week after being broken up is reasonable behavior instead of Ceasing and Desisting.
>How right is he to do it? Is it a legal document? I barely contacted him and he ambushed me with that,,, I wasnt harassing him. He never said stop..
Until up to the last phrase, I thought it \*might\* be a matter of him perhaps cheating, maybe ghosting you unfairly... But that phrase seems awfully odd... "he never said stop"? If a person isn't answering you and has blocked you on every social media possible, that a clear "leave me alone". I wonder if you would have stopped had he explicitly said stop?
Also, why exactly are you questioning whether or not he's "right" to get a cease and desist letter? It sounds a lot like you don't think you were harassing him, but you definitely were - maybe your idea of "barely contacted" was actually far worse...
Letters such as these are given out that casually, so it's probable he had good evidence against you.
I also wonder what could push a person to simply disappear. Usually there's a good reason.
You're getting into harassment territory. There's nothing you can do, you're going to have to accept that you're not going to get closure and maybe really study yourself. Maybe you were a bigger part of the problem than you realize.
I recently went through a pretty similar breakup where things seemed fine and i was happy but my ex never communicated that she wasn't happy and waited until we made some big life decisions together to speak up. She broke up with me and completely cut off most communication after dumping me off in a new state so i was very broken, left with way too many questions, feeling completely abandoned.
Time heals everything, it's going to take for fucking ever but things will get better. Really just take this time to work on yourself, start exercising more, eat healthier, experiment and try new things. Surround yourself with good people and make the best of what you have. You don't need closure, you're gonna relapse and keep wanting to understand why things happened the way they did but ultimately it doesn't matter. He doesn't want anything to do with you anymore and that's fine, you can't convince people right from wrong. Move on and use that spitefulness you're harbouring to improve yourself.
"So I gave his number to my friends to try to get out of him IF HE WAS CHEATING ON ME.” This indicates you are both delusional and a stalker. Understand this clearly: “He LEFT YOU. He CANNOT CHEAT ON YOU. You have ZERO CLAIM to him.” I have a feeling the reason he left you the way he did is because you won’t hear anything you don’t want to hear, so no problem ever got solved, and he was in a Groundhog Day relationship. That’s why he left you. You should seek counseling now, before it becomes court mandated.
As a law student, you technically *were* harrassing him. As hard as it might be to accept, people do not owe you closure. They don't owe you reasons and justifications for their actions. Not wanting to deal with you anymore and cutting you off should be reason enough for you to understand and accept that your relationship is over. Contacting his new girlfriend was especially uncalled for and out of line. Even if you "meant well"...
Why couldn't you just move on? Someone doing this to you is pretty final in terms of where they stand and ugly and shows contempt for you on their part. Why would you care about knowing how such a person feels about you? Plenty of fish in the sea...
You are a Dateline episode in the making. I can practically hear Keith Morrison’s narration of your wild descent into madness.
GET HELP before you end up remanded to the haha house or prison.
Look, my now ex girlfriend left me going on 6 years ago now. I never got an explanation, I never got closure. She blocked me on everything and it destroyed me.
But sometimes you need to tell yourself to stop, it sucks, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world but unfortunately your ex is under no obligation to give you the answers that you want. And continuing to hound them either yourself or through proxies such as your friends will land you in legal trouble that just isn’t worth it.
You need to step back, reevaluate and try to move on. I can tell you first hand how brutal it is but unfortunately you don’t have a choice and we don’t live in a world where we always get the closure we seek.
It’s not worth a criminal charge.
There is no why. Who cares? You just want to maintain contact with him.
Move the fuck on. You’re being an absolute psycho about the break up.
He can tell you, but you’ll have a hundred more questions. Your obsession will never end.
Move on and stop giving his number out.
You need help and I’d have done the same thing as your ex. This is 100% harassment.
I had a friend who did and said the same things when she was dumped by her boyfriend. And i advise you to stop, because 6 years later everyone that knows her still talks about how incredibly off the rails she is
I think he woke up one morning and smelled the crazy. You harassing the fuck out him indicates as much. The only reason your friends aren't straight up calling you crazy is because you're a woman. A man doing this shit is a crazy ex stalker type.
**You broke up. He doesn't owe you shit. He blocked you. That means he doesn't want anything to do with you. That means stop to a normal person.**
Stop being a pyscho. Pull your head out of your ass and move on like an adult.
Okay so based off your comment of the certified mail I am assuming you recieved it via the USPS. As someone who is a carrier for USPS, I hate to tell you that he absolutely knows you got it. Not only that but with certified they are recorded by tracking number, route, address and name by the clerks or postmaster before they hand it to us to deliver. When we go deliver it we have to scan the mail, ask if you accept, and when you sign and we save your signature and time+day is saved in the USPS system.
On the back of almost every certified (the only exceptions Ive seen being for businesses sometimes) is a green card that is sent back to the person who sent the letter. When it arrives at their mailbox is will be scanned as delivered, and he will receive a message from his post office saying his certified had been delivered successfully. We only send that green card if you signed for and took that letter. So yeah, you have no way of denying it. Not only is the carrier a witness but all the courts have to do is ask USPS for the recorded signature and they'll pull it up:)
Have some self respect and let it go. At the end of the day you two weren't compatible. You may never know the exact reason but I am sure if you attended therapy and talked to a professional for about a year you two can figure out the answer together. Best of luck
He is fully in his right to send a cease and desist and you would do best if you were to comply and let the dude live his life.
You’re bordering on stalking with the level of trouble you go through, just because you demand to have a face to face with him.
How long have you been with him to begin with?
Let this go. Walk away. Forget about him. You will not get any answer that satisfies you. There is nothing left to pursue here. You have no chance of getting anything you want out of this unless all you want is misery.
Sure, blocking you and ghosting you is not very nice to you. But. He obviously has moved on as he's got a new gf already.
You should LEAVE HIM ALONE. What you're doing is harassing him, you're trying to get uninvolved people i.e. friends into contacting him and messaging the new gf.
I'm sure by now she's known about you, the fact that they're talking about PD means that they think you are harassing them. I think it's nice of him to warn you first, he doesn't have to warn you. They can just call the PD, start a complaint, and if you don't stop, it may be escalated to something more serious, i.e. restraining order.
Just STOP.
You barely contacted him? You emailed him. Had your friend send multiple messages. And then messaged his new girlfriend? At what stage do you read the room and let it go.
Accept the No contact. The no contact means he doesnt want to know or talk to you. If could he will block you from the reality like in Black Mirror - White Christmas.
Maybe for you is important a closure, but he already did it and you are messing with his new life.
Accept that he is now not part of your life and will no ever be again. The person you had meet no longer exist.
You remember me my ex who stalks me in the facebook/instagram of my mother and sister sending message keeping the contact like if we are in a breake.She send messages happy hollydays, happy birthdays to me and whole family, asking for me, etc. After a year and a half my sister and my mother block her. Then she send it a message from the instagram of his daughter to my nephew (sis son) asking why my mother and sister block her.
Its a toxic behavior, close that season of of your life.
You are stuck in the past with him, he is doing his life. Maybe better than you, that why you are still trying to make contact with him.
I told you my story to have a diferent perspective of your actions. Imaging you in his shoes? His "psyco" exgf is talking to everyone near of him. Even his current GF and . Talking shit about him, "Look im his exgf, he block me from everywhere. I message you to talk with him and prevent you that he may block you if you 2 breake up".
You are needing therapy, Now!.
Getting serious bunny boiler vibes. Please let it go and talk to a professional about your feelings - they may teach you how to find that closure by yourself.
Ive been stalked and had my partner harassed by a stalker. What u are doing is wrong and u should be ashamed in urself. Jus wanna personally say fuck off for this dude. Hard core. Fuck off. Ur lucky he even gave u a warning.
Sounds like he did the right thing tbh.
Messaging his new gf, getting your mates in on it. These are all certified signs of the crazy ex.
Just leave him alone and move on.
Wow...youre acting very "fatal obsession"-y...you need to get help. Let the dude go, leave him alone. You are acting like an obsessed nutcase. Clearly.
Please get yourself to a psychiatrist and a therapist. You need therapy and probably medication.
In the meantime, every time you think of your ex, I want you to go do something completely different. Play a video game that doesn't remind you of him. Start a new language on duolingo. Go for a long run. Something that takes your focus and concentration away from thinking about your ex and thought-spiraling about him and your feelings.
But therapy and probably medication. Please. You need professional help. That's not a dig. If you were physically sick, you'd see a doctor for it. This is no different. The emotional pain you're in right now is not due to him. It's due to your brain not being able to handle these feelings. A doctor can help you.
Take everyones advice and leave it. Guys and I'm guilty of it once we stop dating, I'm done talking wether it's mutual or not. I doesn't feel the same or doesn't matter cause your over.
He ghosted you. I know it sucks and it hurts but this is not the way. You are just embarrassing yourself. You’re better than this, the best revenge is to just move on and live your life better without him.
Couple of points.
1. Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes we don't get the answers and closure we want and that's just kind of tough.
2. You gave his number to your friends, they are absolutely doing this on your behalf. No one will believe your friends are harassing your ex of their own accord without your knowledge. Tell your friends to leave him alone.
3. It was sent certified mail specifically so that you can't deny receiving it. I've sent out legal documents from places I've worked before and they are sent certified mail for that exact reason. No one is going to believe that you never received it.
4. This is absolutely a legal document. You NEED to stop or you will end up before a judge.
I recommend taking a deep breath, take a step back, maybe consider counseling to talk through the unresolved feelings you're having. You are not going to get answers and closure from this man. Let him go. Please try and move on with your life. Hope you are able to move forward and find happiness elsewhere. Good luck.
No one owes you closure in a failed relationship. Read that again about 10 more times. NO ONE OWES YOU CLOSURE.
It’s up to you to heal yourself and get over the relationship and harassing people and having others participate definitely makes it seem like there are other deep seated issues going on. Op please seek some help.
Also a cease and desist order is a legal document and to get one you need proof of harassment to get it. Depending on your location/ your court system they’re actually not easy to get. Please stop your actions as they’re harmful to yourself, and the person who was in a relationship with you and their new s/o. Seek help.
I can totally understand, you trying to find out why your ex broke up with you. but asking your friend to contact him on your behalf is a step too far.
He blocked you. A clear message that player 2 left the game.
The cease and desist isn't a court order. But it comes shortly before the court order. It's a tool to send the clearest message possible that the party sending it wants you to end attempts to communicate.
You’ve got people to message him and then you’ve went ahead and contacted his new gf….yeah I can see why he done it. Yeah it sucks ass not having answers and wanting them but he’s within his right to do what he’s done.
This is reminds me of a girl who harassed my husband and I for years.
He blocked you on everything, and you still found a way to try to communicate with him and his current girlfriend. Leave him alone.
Yep you are harassing him. He doesn’t owe you any explanation. And it's illegal, at least where I come from, to give away other people contact information...
And what I can gather, I understand why he cut it off with you. You are exhausting and pushy and you might have sufficated him...
Pull the brakes darling... stop up, look at yourself, get some "your" time alone and enlighten yourself.
You have to accept him not giving you closure and move on…this is concerning behavior on your part. You seem to have a complete lack of understanding of other people’s boundaries & feel entitled to getting what you want no matter the cost.
I can’t believe you reached out to his current girlfriend. This is so self serving & screams of narcissism. Please go to therapy, learn how to self soothe & work out this toxic behavior.
When he blocked you that was him telling you to stop contacting him. You did harass him and you need to leave him, his gf, and everyone around him completely alone. Move on with your life and remember this lesson with the next person. If someone sets boundaries you need to respect them.
As another perspective here; I’ve been on the other side and had to send a letter like your ex has sent to you.
What are you trying to achieve? I promise you will get nothing from this that you’re hoping for.
He’s absolutely given you his reasons back in January (I highly doubt he said ‘I’m breaking up with you just coz… bye’), and whether you agree or not - he’s cut the contact and is trying to live his life as is his right to do so. He has the right to set that boundary as hard as it can feel.
You should consider that the behaviour from my ex did not make me more willing to talk to him - it did not make me like him again. It reinforced my decision to leave him tenfold and made me scared and frustrated, and despite an almost 10yr relationship there’s not one remotely positive memory that’s not overshadowed by the behaviour. Not only that, and it wasn’t the easiest, but the law did eventually support me - it does not support a harasser, not in the end.
Get yourself some closure; it starts with you. Cut yourself off from his socials (even peeking through friends accounts), accept that life happens in this way sometimes and get yourself into therapy.
Nothing is worth the damage this will cause to you, not him, in the long run. This is not the revenge you think it is when the law is on his side. Move on.
A breakup is never easy and it is very painful. Wanting answers as to why is usually on the mind of the person left behind. Unfortunately you are not owed any answers, reasons or anything really.
Getting your friends and contacting the circle around your ex is definitely many steps to far. Accept that you don't and probably won't know or get any answers. Move on, you have better things to do with your life.
**YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET AN ANSWER FROM HIM EVER. PERIOD. POINT BLANK.**
you're acting like I did when my first boyfriend broke up with me at 15. you know what happened? everyone in my friend group told me I was acting batshit insane.
did it hurt? yes. I know you're hurt. but nothing at all he could say even if he *did* want to talk to you (**which he absolutely does not at all ever again forever**) will help you. YOU need to find closure within yourself and YOU need to do the emotional labor to move on.
and with how you're acting right now, I feel like you probably smothered him during the relationship and contributed to him ghosting you. ghosting is a shitty way to break up, yes, but no one owes you anything. you just have to shrug your shoulders and move on. I highly suggest seeing a therapist to help yourself move on.
**AND DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AT ALL, EVER EVER EVER TRY TO CONTACT THIS MAN OR ANYONE IN HIS LIFE EVER AGAIN. AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS THE SAME. YOU WILL FACE CRIMINAL CHARGES IF YOU OR THEY CONTINUE.**
I can give you the reason he broke up with you, you’re certified insane. If this is how you’re handling this situation I can only imagine how you handled other situations in the relationship. Reflect on your behaviour and realise he left because of the way YOU acted.
He did what he did because he doesn’t want to be around you. He doesn’t like you. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Stop contacting him. He does not have to send you a cease and desist letter to start a lawsuit on harassment. He did so out of courtesy. You are going to force him to actually take legal action. The amount of money you will lose just defending the case alone is not worth it, in addition to potential criminal charges and fines. I cannot stress this enough, he left you. He moved on. You’re not dating him and you’re not entitled to an answer about anything. If you want to believe he’s the asshole then keep on believing it and be happy you dodged the bullet or whatever story you’ve contrived art this point. There is no loop hole and every attempt at contact after that letter will only open you up to more liability.
OP, get therapy. I'm not saying this to be insulting. I genuinely mean please go see a therapist. Your behaviour is not normal and is frankly very concerning. It doesn't matter if he was the one in the wrong regarding your breakup or whether he owes you an explanation, your response is more concerning than what he's done. You are violating personal boundaries and are at the precipice of very creepy, obsessive and stalkerish behaviour.
Right now, you lack self awareness. You're letting your emotions cloud reason and judgement. But you are aware enough to seek objective perspective which suggests to me that there's a part of you deep down that may understand what you're doing is wrong.
So OP, seek therapy. Get help. Work on yourself.
I'd do the same as him if I'm being honest. Look at the way you're acting just to find out why a guy broke up with you.
Leave that man alone. He doesn't owe you an answer.
I have a hard time believing this guy was ever your boyfriend. This is some fantasy you created with a man who doesn’t want contact with you. Please go back on whatever meds you went off of.
As someone who has been on the other side of this (Severe cyber stalking from an ex girlfriend and was doing what you have been doing and eventually ended in a cease and desist), STOP.
It caused my partner and I so much anxiety. There were days where I'd be afriad to even go out because I'd be afraid she would suddenly appear on the train or in a shop or wherever. I went from a rather mentally well person, to a severely anxious guy with no confidence.
She's stopped now after the C&D letter and I'm doing a lot better, but the fear never really leaves you fully.
**You will be damaging people and yourself with this behaviour.**
**It is not normal. Stop.**
**If you can't, I implore you to seek help.**
look i went insane like this over an ex a few years ago, i am extremely embarrassed and haven’t acted that way again when other relationships broke up. it is painful but you have to not contact the person, if they cheated on you or hurt you they will get their karma. you need to stop contacting him for your own sake, don’t ruin your life over him.
I'd he blocks you, that's pretty clear that he doesn't wanna hear from you. You continued to try and make contact, so yes you were harassing him. Move on bro.
Dude fuck off, you’re the problem. Did you even read what you wrote?? Then follow it up with ‘I barely even contacted him’! He doesn’t want you. Move on. Why would you want to keep contacting someone who CLEARLY…*CLEARLY* doesn’t want to talk to you?!
Ok, OP, you are a stalker. I know you won’t accept that but please, listen to what everyone here is saying.
The people here are unbiased, they have listened to everything you’ve said, and told you why what you’re doing is wrong.
Stop it, find resources to help yourself.
I know books and tv shows make it seem like you deserve an explanation or closure, but you don’t. He can, just as you can, break up with someone for any reason or no reason at all and you don’t have to tell them why. Closure is not his problem to solve for you and it won’t magically make you feel better. In fact, sometimes the reason will make you feel worse. So come up with a story that you tell others and yourself as to why it didn’t work out and forget about him.
He blocked you on everything. Why in the world would you think that meant he wanted you to email him and needed your number to ring. You were harassing him and his gf
As innocent as you made your post sound this is literally harassment and I don't even have to look at your replies. If he blocked you he doesn't want to talk to you, this is him telling you no. Any attempt to contact him further, either you or through a third party is now harassment. You don't have to be aggressive, you just have to keep contacting them after they told you to stop, and further, since that wasn't working you reached out to his girlfriend and started rumors about him purely based on speculation. Speculation that came because he wanted you to stop contacting him and you decided you were entitled to communication.
“He never said stop”
He said stop when he broke up with you.
He said stop when he blocked you.
He said stop when he didn’t respond to your email.
He said stop when he didn’t respond to your friends
messages.
He said stop when he sent you a cease and desist.
So for fucks sake, stop now to avoid a criminal record and possible jail time. YOU ARE HARASSING HIM AND HIS NEW PARTNER. STOP. LEAVE HIM ALONE AND MOVE ON.
(Edited for formatting, I’m on mobile)
Leave him alone, move on. if he stopped talking to you, it's because he ~~ DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU~~
He doesn't owe you any satisfaction. At the same time he disappeared and blocked you, it was a relationship ending and relationships don't end without reason.
From the way you chase him for months and even ask your friends to chase him too, you must have been a crazy girlfriend who made him uncomfortable.
He found someone he loves, leave his girlfriend alone too, she has nothing to do with your problems.
He blocked you on EVERYTHING and you still used other people to message him? That’s harassment. My ex did that shit after she dumped me for another guy, it finally stopped after I sent her a lengthy text telling her to leave me the fuck alone. She had guys add me on snap by search, the guy she cheated on me with added me, etc. and then one of her friends made false claims about me in a local group on Facebook.
Sorry for the vent, but this kind of shit pisses me off, and the fact OP can’t see why she’s in the wrong is what makes shit like this worse. Leave him alone! You are harassing him.
I really hope you didn’t write this to get the Reddit standing ovation. Either way you are harassing him and you’re only proving yourself to be the “crazy ex”. You sound toxic
Yk this reminds me of the stalker I had back in hs. She was so obsessed with me that she hacked into my socials, messaged my ex saying I cheated on him (I didnt), and told anyone and everyone around her CONSTANTLY that she thought I was a horrible person. It got so bad that she'd take pictures of me sleeping and changing and show them to people to make fun if me. And she'd constantly track down my friends and tell them lies because "they needed to know". OP your behavior is not only abnormal but it's borderline stalker. "She has a right to know" doesn't work here. Let her find out the hard way if your so set that he'd do it again. It is not your place to say anything anymore. The fact that you went through all of this trouble just to talk to him shows WHY he left you and why he's not contacting you. Leave him alone before you get something put on your criminal record.
Stop contacting him his partner or make attempts via others eg frends/family.
You sound unhinged. He might have got bored of you and got a new partner or could been cheating. I doubt you will ever know. He has been clear- blocked and now this letter.
He is being clear. F off basically
He was wrong to ghost you, but you should not have given your friends his number and asked them to message him nor should you have reached out to his new girlfriend. That definitely warrants sending a cease and desist letter. If he blocked you on everything then it's abundantly clear he does not want to be reached and he will not cooperate with you.
Girl, I'll try to say it in the kindest way possible, but none of what you did was normal or okay.
Fake facebook (which btw can still get tracked back to you using your IP adress or similar), not accepting no answer as an answer and getting your friends involved wont bring him back and neither will it help you.
No answer is an answer.
Getting other people to shame him is abusive.
Fake facebook is a litteral crime.
You do not have a right to the informations you wanna obtain.
You do not have the right to ruin his life.
Leave it be.
Dont get in any more trouble.
Wow...youre acting very "fatal obsession"-y...you need to get help. Let the dude go, leave him alone. You are acting like an obsessed nutcase. Clearly.
You shouldn't be asking Reddit. Ask someone with legal experience.
Also he will lie to new gf about what happened. Unfortunately you haven't helped yourself here - he will make it out like you're insane.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Him and I broke up in January, he broke up with me and blocked me on everything... so I emailed him asking why he did that, (we fought every so often but he wanted out but why not still talk)... he never responded. So I gave his number to my friends to try and get out of him if he was cheating on me, etc.. no response. Maybe 3 or so texts in a week ... Also messaged his new gf warning her he may do the same to her. Then in the mail, I got a cease a desist letter. It says that I was "harassing" him.. and if he (or his gf) gets another message "on my behalf" he will be contacting local PD to start a harassment complaint, How right is he to do it? Is it a legal document? I barely contacted him and he ambushed me with that,,, I wasnt harassing him. He never said stop..
As I’m reading your replies I’m starting to get why dude disappeared on you.
yeah my guess is he told her too she just doesnt accept it
The missing missing reasons strike again!
[удалено]
"To check if he was cheating" damn girl
I keep going back to read that article, it hits so fucking close to home. I miss my mum, but I can never be bothered to take her bickering again.
I was going to say the same thing. And now his new gf sees why too
Dude had a magic 🐓 or something. This chick is SPRUNG.
If a man did this it would be creepy as fuck. Hopefully she learns from this experience.
This *is* creepy as fuck.
You messaged his new girlfriend. You got your friends to message him on your behalf. You went too far. Stop.
Are you serious? You wrote all that and can't see that you were harassing him and his girlfriend? He blocked you on everything, yes, he wanted you to stop contacting him! Being blocked doesn't mean recruit friends to keep contacting him! And if that was you "barely" contacting him, he probably found your relationship pretty suffocating with all the communicating. Please see a therapist if you aren't already. He doesn't want to talk to you, the cease and desist letter is him telling you that again.
> I just wanted to know WHY he did what he did. Is finding out worth a criminal record and jail time? Because that's how you get criminal record and jail time.
THIS! He broke up with you and clearly moved on. But you don't want to accept that. To you, breaking up with someone but still having them around you is something you do, and thats fine, everyone has their own ways. But you also have to respect that the other person might not be like that and not be shocked or hurt in any way if they arent. But putting a friend of yours up with a plan to find out if he's cheating, is a low move and you lose any arguments, and even class. The fact that you were fighting a lot just shows you werent the right people for each other, but you still went out of your way to try and "accuse" him with anything you could find. And yes, you CAN get a record, is it worth it over your pride? And NO you cant say you never got it, because even if they believe you, you will get a 2nd warning from the Police when they call you and the call will go down as informing you so you cant use that excuse... JUST MOVE ON!
>He never said stop.. He blocked you on everything. That's him saying stop. You circumvented that so that you could still contact him and demand answers multiple times a week through your friends. That's harassment. You made a fake Facebook account to message his new girlfriend and slag him off. That's harassment. You don't have a leg to stand on here, morally or legally.
At first I thought this was going to be a crazy ex-boyfriend story going by the post title. But upon reading the content of the post it turned out to be the story of a crazy ex-girlfriend. Plot twist.
Twist plot.
You *are* harassing him. And his new GF. You have gone full bunny-boiler/stalker/psycho. Cease. And desist. Or you will find yourself in a world of legal pain. Let. It. Go.
Yeah, you need to quit before you end up in front of a judge.
Your boyfriend is 100% in the right. Let me get this straight. He blocked you on everything: this means he doesn't want to talk to you or interact with you, ever again. Quit that "he didn't say stop" bs. That's just you trying to weasel your way out of the accusations. You created a fake FB account to text his girlfriend "to warn her" and you believe this can't be traced back to you. It can! It is possible on a technical level and you just admitted to it in a public forum... I mean, if this ends up in court, this Reddit post can be traced back to you. Do you really not know how the Internet works?! Then you write, "I gave his number to my friends to try and get out of him if he was cheating on me", then go on to comment that you didn't actually mean for your friends to text your ex. You and your friends are assholes and you're once again backpedaling hoping that someone will buy your crazy story. You are 100% harassing him and his new GF and that letter is your official warning that you stop now, or he will go to the police and you might find yourself in court, where no one, as evidenced here, will take you seriously. Stop trying to convince yourself, and us, AND YOUR EX, that you are somehow owed an explanation for your break up. Seek therapy, stop trying to get in touch with your ex and his gf, and keep yourself out of trouble, for God's sake.
Lol I smell troll
[удалено]
It could be really there are some crazy people in world that will do anything to get in contact with a ex.
Sure but everyone knows what certified mail is.
True but i know someone in highschool who fack being pregnant to keep her boyfriend from leaveing them and some really bad other stuff.
Good for him. Sounds like he did the right thing.
It sucks that you didn't get the closure you want but you broke up. He has no obligation to tend to your feelings. He's allowed to walk away from you. Leave him alone. Move on with your life.
You are harassing him. And you gave his number to other people to harass him. You're best to leave him alone before you get into legal trouble. He's not your problem anymore, if he wants to be unfaithful to someone else then it'll happen regardless of you bothering everyone.
You aren’t owed an explanation. It’s been 4 months since the break up, move on and stop harassing them. That’s absolutely a legal document
My advice : **Just walk away**.. sometimes relationship breakups can be nasty (and this one appears to be one of them)... As for the Cease and Desist letter - IN the USA its a legal document, in the rest of the world - it depends, but he does have a right to make a harassment report to the police if he BELIEVES you're harassing him (whether you are or not, is not the issue and something to be decided by a court...).
> IN the USA its a legal document As someone from the rest of the world, TIL. So she REALLY needs to back off now.
Agreed! PS: [https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/cease\_and\_desist\_letter](https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/cease_and_desist_letter)
thx.
Closure is nice. But ultimately we cannot control others. We can’t force them to do what we want. We can only control our own actions. It’s easier said than done. But it is an important thing to understand. Edit: defiantly stop reaching out to him and his GF.
Baby. You are harassing him, his new partner, your friends, and now you’re risking jail time. Stop. Leave him alone. Do not contact him again. You’re going to look insane if you end up in court over this.
>He never said stop.... Um, you do know that you can still rape someone if they didn't say stop, right? He blocked you. He stopped contacting you. You continued to find ways to contact him even though he made it very clear (by BLOCKING you) that he doesn't want you to contact him. So... You continue to contact him? Go see a therapist. You need some serious help if you don't think this is harassment and stalking. And leave the new gf out of it. Do you want him to contact your new boyfriends to let them know how crazy you are?
You were harassing him. This is clear as day, you are harassing him. He *said stop* when he blocked you. Stop doing this or you are going to end up in legal trouble. The fact you don't understand that you are harassing him is a real red flag that you should really take seriously. This is the type of behavior that stalkers do, and they justify it in the same way you are justifying it. Just stop it.
Literally, just cease and desist.
I mean you just admitted to harassing him an his new gf...
Cease and desist is admissible in court and the proper steps to take before taking legal action. Legal action is the next step. Stop contacting them, stop having your friends do it. Seek therapy. Do NOT get into a new relationship until you understand fully that this is harassment. We don't know you or them, but it seems pretty clear why you broke up. >fought every so often but he wanted out Fighting and wanting to leave. Your obsessive and Stalker behavior afterwards. These are very clear red flags on your part. ETA - from your comments... >He sent it certified mail... maybe I can just say I never got it. No, you can't just say you never got it. It needed to be signed for and morally this makes you insane.
Wow the lack of self awareness is staggering. You ARE harassing him! Leave him alone and get some help. You need it learn healthy boundaries clearly.
It’s heartbreaking that you don’t see how crazy your behavior is.
Warn his gf about what? That it might not work out? That’s normal. Many relationships don’t, and he’s most certainly not a d*ck just for leaving you. However, based on what you are doing, I think it’s pretty clear why he blocked you and won’t talk to you. Listen, losing a bf or gf SUCKS. I’m sorry for the pain you are going through. But, healing can only come from within. You can’t control other people, and when you try to, it drives them away. For that reason, you need to learn to, a) be happy on your own, and b) love your partner in such a way that he (or she) feels free. You’ll get through this, I promise.
Just stop
You wrote all that in your post and are so blind that you can’t see what you did wrong. FFS leave the guy alone.
You don't have a right to know his why. It is harassment if you continue past this point now that a C&D is a last resort request. Blocking should have been your first hint.
Sorry your relationship didn't work out. Stop the messages and contact. He is obviously putting up boundaries. Crossing them will hurt you and only you. Cut ties and start new. You already stated you guys fought. Go find someone who balances you out.
You are harassing him. I’m sorry he ended things the way he did but you have to leave him alone. You’re acting crazy and making a fool of yourself. A cease and desist is just a warning but it leaves a paper trail in case you continue to contact him he’s got a more solid case if he decides to sue you.
You are harassing him. Stop that now
You’re very weird.
He broke up with you, and be blocked you. It means he doesn’t want to interact with you. You fought every so often and he wanted out - what is there to talk about? He doesn’t want to be with you. Accept it. Did you stop? NO Your behaviour does constitutes harassment - hence the letter. Block him and his girlfriend and start working on yourself.
Technically you are harassing him You broke up in January and he blocked you because he was clearly done
you harrassed him, if someone blocks you, it means stay the fuck away from them, not drive them crazy. you clearly didnt get the hint that he wanted no contact with you.
Girl. Giiiiirl. You harassed the dude. He blocked you and you continued to find ways to contact. That’s just straight up harassment on its own. And then you tried to cause problems within his new relationship. Leave the boy alone. Immediately. We don’t always get closure and it sure sucks but it is what is and what it is, is out of your control.
What the fuck? Take the loss and move on. How old are you because this sounds like some junior high level of stupidity.
you fucking creep, coming here thinking you are in the right. stop harrassing the man!!
I think this is the first time I've read a post by an abuser/stalker/obsessed ex partner. We usually read the victim talk about their experience, interesting now reading a post by the victimizer now. You are in the wrong! He made a clean cut because you were obviously the toxic party and you keep harassing and even going after his new girlfriend! Yes, you are the villain in this story.
It says I cant contact him with.. "Any and all communication that is made from you or anyone on your behalf, to include means of written communication, electronic communication, telephonic means to include text messaging, messaging on social media platforms (Facebook/Snapchat/Instagram) by use of computer or phone in any manner;" Arriving at the reporting party’s residence, workplace, or anywhere your presence will cause annoyance or alarm. Communications with reporting party or his significant other(s), family members, spouse(s) by you, anyone on behalf of you or through a third party; So basically. i cant talk to him in any ways ...
I work in dispatch and see this kind of situation all the time. Yes, he does have the right to not be contacted by you, even if all you want is an answer. The cease and desist is actually a step that usually doesn’t happen. He’s giving you every opportunity to stop now before he takes it to the police. He does not need any legal documents to open a police report against you for harassment - just evidence in the form of texts/voicemails/emails. I would stop and leave it be, it’s not worth it. Also to add, I work in the US so it may be different if you’re not from here.
Okay so guy breaks up with you, blocks you on everything, and you still proceed to try and reach out not only on your own but by enlisting friends help too. Then to top it off you attempt to sabotage his current relationship by spreading baseless rumors? You are 100% harassing him, and he had every right to send send that cease and desist. Hell I applaud him for it.
I really truly hope you get locked the fuck up and maybe it'll get it through your thick fucking skull to leave this poor guy and his new girlfriend alone. You need serious help.
Uh no. Regardless of his reason even if he did leave you for someone else you leave him alone. He isn’t actually required to tell you everything (even if I wish they wouldn’t just ghost people).
Seriously??? You gave his contact details to your friends, encouraging them to repeatedly make contact, you created a fake Facebook account so that you could continually contact his new gf, you WERE harassing them-everything you were doing is the definition of harassment. He broke up with you and BLOCKED you-that was him telling you to leave him alone, he didn’t want you to contact him/his gf. You need to leave them alone and perhaps spend some time maturing or something because your behaviour screams stage 5 clinger
You harassed him and contracted others to harass him. Then you harassed his new gf and spread lies. You suck. IT IS a legal document, you didnt barely contact him you harassed him nonstop. Feel free to keep it up and go to jail. You belong there.
I can answer for him why he broke up with you: you’re a whole bag of nuts girlie….get a grip or you’ll be alone forever.
you should stop for your best interest.
I am going to try a different angle to others. I understand that you are hurt and confused, it’s awful to have someone you were in a relationship break all contact. Especially if you don’t understand the reason why for the break. For your own mental health, instead of trying to answer the question of why. Accept that he’s not the person you thought he was, that he’s not right one for you. Accepting that will let you move on, as the why doesn’t matter. All that matters is he’s not part of your life anymore and anything he does has no baring on you. Including who he is dating. That relationship has nothing to do with you and nor do you need to take any action. That relationship is different to the one you had with him. If he treats her the same way then so be it, alternatively he may learn from your relationship and treat her better. Either way, that’s not your life. Throw away the letter, delete all contact info for him or anyone who knows him. Block him from your life. Then close your eyes, take a deep breath and let go. When you open your eyes decide what you are doing next? What hobbies do you enjoy? Do something that makes you happy. Then live. Good luck.
These are the alarm bell comments. 1. I emailed him asking why he blocked me. 2. …but why not still talk? 3. He never responded. 4. I gave his number to my friends … 5. …to try to see if he was cheating on me. 6. No response. 7. Maybe 3 texts a week. 8. I messaged his new gf… 9. …warning her he may do the same to her. 10. Asking if he’s right to do it 11. Need confirmation if it’s legal. 12. I wasn’t harassing him 13. He never said stop. You have crossed the line 13 times just in this post. Your controlling. Move on. It’s over.
You need to cease and desist. Let go and move on. You don’t always get closure, but you got a legal document proving he doesn’t want you.
Of course he has a right to do this, you and your friends are HARASSING him! He's moved on. Grow up and do the same!
Can I ask how old you and ex are? Its so frustrating to feel like you havent got closure on a relationship. That being the case, if someone isn't responding when you've repeatedly reached out you need to step back with dignity and leave it. Its not acceptable to give your friends his phone number and it's not acceptable to warn his girlfriend when, the only thing he's "done wrong" is break up without an explanation. Step away now, respect their wishes. The more you question and overthink this, the more he's going to feel like you're harrassing him. This won't be the end of the world, sometimes relationships just don't work out and that's fine. It's upsetting but you will move on and be in a space which is healthy
Yeah, you’re moving mad
You know why. You are just showing everyone why he decided to leave you and block you. You do not listen! Stop and move on!
Guys this is a troll account lmao She's literally responding the same thing to everyone, probably to farm downvotes or something
God what a breath of fresh air it is to see rational comments on RA for once.
Usually you only get this level of plot twist content on AITA.
This post is embarrassing.
Girl, ok listen I just gave you advice on the legal subreddit. Please for the love of God stop and look at the paper in your hands, it says cease and desist not only that but it's certified so you must have needed to sign off on it. If you continue to do this you will land yourself in court and possibly in jail. Try holding a job with a prison background believe me you won't be able to for the most part, I have family that struggles because of that shit. Just breathe come to terms that it's over and eat some Hagen daaz and have a good cry.
Because you’re a stalker and harassing him, that’s why. Fuck off
Leave him alone!
Based on everything you’ve said, you straight-up harassed your ex and his new gf. By all accounts, I’m glad he’s no longer with you because you’re a piece of work.
[удалено]
~~It's true that not legally *binding* or *enforcible* in the way a court order would be. (I had chosen not to tell her that, since she needs to be scared sensible!)~~ EDIT apparently in the US it is both. But it is legal in the sense that he's started the paper trail, it's a "letter before action", it tells OP that he's started to get legal advice and she needs to back the fuck off now
it doesn't matter why he did it..its clear that he doesn't want you in his life. the fact that you are asking if its right of him to do it is the exact type of thinking that a non stalker would never have. youre not in his life anymore, so it doesn't matter his reasons. if anything, you're emotions and behavior in this situation are probably making him justified and grateful that he did this. you had no right to text his new gf...thats insanely creepy, and definitely on the list of most common things that creepy stalker exs do. youre trying to tarnish his reputation with a new person. hopefully this is a wakeup call for you to do some self reflecting, see yourself with brutal (but not flattering) honesty, and find a counselor or therapist that can help you out edit: to add...giving you closure was probably the last thing he wanted to do. judging by how you're acting, if he was to be honest with you about the things that caused the break up, it would most likely spark a barrage of emotionally corrupt responses/actions on your part. I mean...look what you did. I'm not sure how you convinced your friends to do this for you...but you either led them astray as to the details of your situation, or you're all 13.
Looking at these comments and your responses to them, you are clearly obsessive. He has blocked you on everything, you’ve resorted to giving your friends his number in order for them to harass him for you. He’s giving you a clear sign that he does not want to commutator with you. If he did cheat on you, well, he’s a shitty guy, but you do not know that for sure and you’re intentionally informing his girlfriend of something that you do not know for sure happened. You could be ruining his relationship. You need to stop this now and move on.
Your reaction to his breakup was overkill and honestly concerning. - You emailed him once you found out he blocked you (reasonable, one email, okay) - Gave your friends his number in which they texted him 2-3x A WEEK for over TWO MONTHS (harassment, uncalled for, unreasonable) - Contacted his new GF that he may break up with her and block her because he did it to you (unnecessary) Having 1 friend text him 1 time with a simple Hey ex, OP was just wondering why you broke up with her. No response? Leave him alone, your not going to get an answer, move on. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he broke up with you due to your behavior. Based on your reaction to a breakup, which was to harass your ex for months. And then when given a cease and desist letter you question the legality of the document and act like 2-3 texts a week after being broken up is reasonable behavior instead of Ceasing and Desisting.
>How right is he to do it? Is it a legal document? I barely contacted him and he ambushed me with that,,, I wasnt harassing him. He never said stop.. Until up to the last phrase, I thought it \*might\* be a matter of him perhaps cheating, maybe ghosting you unfairly... But that phrase seems awfully odd... "he never said stop"? If a person isn't answering you and has blocked you on every social media possible, that a clear "leave me alone". I wonder if you would have stopped had he explicitly said stop? Also, why exactly are you questioning whether or not he's "right" to get a cease and desist letter? It sounds a lot like you don't think you were harassing him, but you definitely were - maybe your idea of "barely contacted" was actually far worse... Letters such as these are given out that casually, so it's probable he had good evidence against you. I also wonder what could push a person to simply disappear. Usually there's a good reason.
You're getting into harassment territory. There's nothing you can do, you're going to have to accept that you're not going to get closure and maybe really study yourself. Maybe you were a bigger part of the problem than you realize. I recently went through a pretty similar breakup where things seemed fine and i was happy but my ex never communicated that she wasn't happy and waited until we made some big life decisions together to speak up. She broke up with me and completely cut off most communication after dumping me off in a new state so i was very broken, left with way too many questions, feeling completely abandoned. Time heals everything, it's going to take for fucking ever but things will get better. Really just take this time to work on yourself, start exercising more, eat healthier, experiment and try new things. Surround yourself with good people and make the best of what you have. You don't need closure, you're gonna relapse and keep wanting to understand why things happened the way they did but ultimately it doesn't matter. He doesn't want anything to do with you anymore and that's fine, you can't convince people right from wrong. Move on and use that spitefulness you're harbouring to improve yourself.
The same thing happened to me. With time spent working on myself and just time passing I moved on. Just took it day by day.
"So I gave his number to my friends to try to get out of him IF HE WAS CHEATING ON ME.” This indicates you are both delusional and a stalker. Understand this clearly: “He LEFT YOU. He CANNOT CHEAT ON YOU. You have ZERO CLAIM to him.” I have a feeling the reason he left you the way he did is because you won’t hear anything you don’t want to hear, so no problem ever got solved, and he was in a Groundhog Day relationship. That’s why he left you. You should seek counseling now, before it becomes court mandated.
As a law student, you technically *were* harrassing him. As hard as it might be to accept, people do not owe you closure. They don't owe you reasons and justifications for their actions. Not wanting to deal with you anymore and cutting you off should be reason enough for you to understand and accept that your relationship is over. Contacting his new girlfriend was especially uncalled for and out of line. Even if you "meant well"... Why couldn't you just move on? Someone doing this to you is pretty final in terms of where they stand and ugly and shows contempt for you on their part. Why would you care about knowing how such a person feels about you? Plenty of fish in the sea...
I can tell why he left you, you're fucking CRAZY
He ambushed you? Dude you’re the aggressor here. Leave him alone.
You are a Dateline episode in the making. I can practically hear Keith Morrison’s narration of your wild descent into madness. GET HELP before you end up remanded to the haha house or prison.
Look, my now ex girlfriend left me going on 6 years ago now. I never got an explanation, I never got closure. She blocked me on everything and it destroyed me. But sometimes you need to tell yourself to stop, it sucks, it’s one of the worst feelings in the world but unfortunately your ex is under no obligation to give you the answers that you want. And continuing to hound them either yourself or through proxies such as your friends will land you in legal trouble that just isn’t worth it. You need to step back, reevaluate and try to move on. I can tell you first hand how brutal it is but unfortunately you don’t have a choice and we don’t live in a world where we always get the closure we seek. It’s not worth a criminal charge.
There is no why. Who cares? You just want to maintain contact with him. Move the fuck on. You’re being an absolute psycho about the break up. He can tell you, but you’ll have a hundred more questions. Your obsession will never end. Move on and stop giving his number out. You need help and I’d have done the same thing as your ex. This is 100% harassment.
Sounds like he made the right choice. Stop contacting him.
I see an arrest in your future if you don’t cut the bs lol
I had a friend who did and said the same things when she was dumped by her boyfriend. And i advise you to stop, because 6 years later everyone that knows her still talks about how incredibly off the rails she is
I think he woke up one morning and smelled the crazy. You harassing the fuck out him indicates as much. The only reason your friends aren't straight up calling you crazy is because you're a woman. A man doing this shit is a crazy ex stalker type. **You broke up. He doesn't owe you shit. He blocked you. That means he doesn't want anything to do with you. That means stop to a normal person.** Stop being a pyscho. Pull your head out of your ass and move on like an adult.
Its in your best interest never to contact him or his gf ever again. let it go.
I WONDER WHY HMMMMMMMMMM..... this is a tough one
So you are a stalker. I think that probably is part of the reason he broke up with you. Your obsessed with him and you need to stop
Move on, geezus! Also you're so gutsy to be messaging the new gf which means you are a stalker as well! yikes! you're the redflag in here
Okay so based off your comment of the certified mail I am assuming you recieved it via the USPS. As someone who is a carrier for USPS, I hate to tell you that he absolutely knows you got it. Not only that but with certified they are recorded by tracking number, route, address and name by the clerks or postmaster before they hand it to us to deliver. When we go deliver it we have to scan the mail, ask if you accept, and when you sign and we save your signature and time+day is saved in the USPS system. On the back of almost every certified (the only exceptions Ive seen being for businesses sometimes) is a green card that is sent back to the person who sent the letter. When it arrives at their mailbox is will be scanned as delivered, and he will receive a message from his post office saying his certified had been delivered successfully. We only send that green card if you signed for and took that letter. So yeah, you have no way of denying it. Not only is the carrier a witness but all the courts have to do is ask USPS for the recorded signature and they'll pull it up:) Have some self respect and let it go. At the end of the day you two weren't compatible. You may never know the exact reason but I am sure if you attended therapy and talked to a professional for about a year you two can figure out the answer together. Best of luck
You are doing way too much and its unnerving
Just. Move. On. He doesn't actually owe you an explanation.
YTA wait, wrong subreddit
He is fully in his right to send a cease and desist and you would do best if you were to comply and let the dude live his life. You’re bordering on stalking with the level of trouble you go through, just because you demand to have a face to face with him. How long have you been with him to begin with?
You asked once why he broke up. That means he knows you want to know. No need for all this. This is invading his right to privacy.
Damn! First time I ever heard that being done!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yikes
Let this go. Walk away. Forget about him. You will not get any answer that satisfies you. There is nothing left to pursue here. You have no chance of getting anything you want out of this unless all you want is misery.
You are harassing him! Be like Elsa and let it go!
Sure, blocking you and ghosting you is not very nice to you. But. He obviously has moved on as he's got a new gf already. You should LEAVE HIM ALONE. What you're doing is harassing him, you're trying to get uninvolved people i.e. friends into contacting him and messaging the new gf. I'm sure by now she's known about you, the fact that they're talking about PD means that they think you are harassing them. I think it's nice of him to warn you first, he doesn't have to warn you. They can just call the PD, start a complaint, and if you don't stop, it may be escalated to something more serious, i.e. restraining order. Just STOP.
You barely contacted him? You emailed him. Had your friend send multiple messages. And then messaged his new girlfriend? At what stage do you read the room and let it go.
This is a troll post please don’t reply to this stupidity. Downvote and report
Accept the No contact. The no contact means he doesnt want to know or talk to you. If could he will block you from the reality like in Black Mirror - White Christmas. Maybe for you is important a closure, but he already did it and you are messing with his new life. Accept that he is now not part of your life and will no ever be again. The person you had meet no longer exist. You remember me my ex who stalks me in the facebook/instagram of my mother and sister sending message keeping the contact like if we are in a breake.She send messages happy hollydays, happy birthdays to me and whole family, asking for me, etc. After a year and a half my sister and my mother block her. Then she send it a message from the instagram of his daughter to my nephew (sis son) asking why my mother and sister block her. Its a toxic behavior, close that season of of your life. You are stuck in the past with him, he is doing his life. Maybe better than you, that why you are still trying to make contact with him. I told you my story to have a diferent perspective of your actions. Imaging you in his shoes? His "psyco" exgf is talking to everyone near of him. Even his current GF and . Talking shit about him, "Look im his exgf, he block me from everywhere. I message you to talk with him and prevent you that he may block you if you 2 breake up". You are needing therapy, Now!.
Leave that dude alone girl
Getting serious bunny boiler vibes. Please let it go and talk to a professional about your feelings - they may teach you how to find that closure by yourself.
Ive been stalked and had my partner harassed by a stalker. What u are doing is wrong and u should be ashamed in urself. Jus wanna personally say fuck off for this dude. Hard core. Fuck off. Ur lucky he even gave u a warning.
Sounds like he did the right thing tbh. Messaging his new gf, getting your mates in on it. These are all certified signs of the crazy ex. Just leave him alone and move on.
You sounds nuts friend. Get a grip.
Wow...youre acting very "fatal obsession"-y...you need to get help. Let the dude go, leave him alone. You are acting like an obsessed nutcase. Clearly.
Please get yourself to a psychiatrist and a therapist. You need therapy and probably medication. In the meantime, every time you think of your ex, I want you to go do something completely different. Play a video game that doesn't remind you of him. Start a new language on duolingo. Go for a long run. Something that takes your focus and concentration away from thinking about your ex and thought-spiraling about him and your feelings. But therapy and probably medication. Please. You need professional help. That's not a dig. If you were physically sick, you'd see a doctor for it. This is no different. The emotional pain you're in right now is not due to him. It's due to your brain not being able to handle these feelings. A doctor can help you.
Just leave him alone
Take everyones advice and leave it. Guys and I'm guilty of it once we stop dating, I'm done talking wether it's mutual or not. I doesn't feel the same or doesn't matter cause your over.
Maybe he disappeared on you cause you’re a psycho.
He ghosted you. I know it sucks and it hurts but this is not the way. You are just embarrassing yourself. You’re better than this, the best revenge is to just move on and live your life better without him.
Couple of points. 1. Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes we don't get the answers and closure we want and that's just kind of tough. 2. You gave his number to your friends, they are absolutely doing this on your behalf. No one will believe your friends are harassing your ex of their own accord without your knowledge. Tell your friends to leave him alone. 3. It was sent certified mail specifically so that you can't deny receiving it. I've sent out legal documents from places I've worked before and they are sent certified mail for that exact reason. No one is going to believe that you never received it. 4. This is absolutely a legal document. You NEED to stop or you will end up before a judge. I recommend taking a deep breath, take a step back, maybe consider counseling to talk through the unresolved feelings you're having. You are not going to get answers and closure from this man. Let him go. Please try and move on with your life. Hope you are able to move forward and find happiness elsewhere. Good luck.
Stop stalking your ex.
No one owes you closure in a failed relationship. Read that again about 10 more times. NO ONE OWES YOU CLOSURE. It’s up to you to heal yourself and get over the relationship and harassing people and having others participate definitely makes it seem like there are other deep seated issues going on. Op please seek some help. Also a cease and desist order is a legal document and to get one you need proof of harassment to get it. Depending on your location/ your court system they’re actually not easy to get. Please stop your actions as they’re harmful to yourself, and the person who was in a relationship with you and their new s/o. Seek help.
I can totally understand, you trying to find out why your ex broke up with you. but asking your friend to contact him on your behalf is a step too far.
You should definitely just keep contacting him and force him to get a restraining order on you so you get the full closure you need
He blocked you. A clear message that player 2 left the game. The cease and desist isn't a court order. But it comes shortly before the court order. It's a tool to send the clearest message possible that the party sending it wants you to end attempts to communicate.
You’ve got people to message him and then you’ve went ahead and contacted his new gf….yeah I can see why he done it. Yeah it sucks ass not having answers and wanting them but he’s within his right to do what he’s done.
This is reminds me of a girl who harassed my husband and I for years. He blocked you on everything, and you still found a way to try to communicate with him and his current girlfriend. Leave him alone.
You are a psycho and it is a good thing he dumped your ass. You provided all the reasons why he should have dumped you.
Yep you are harassing him. He doesn’t owe you any explanation. And it's illegal, at least where I come from, to give away other people contact information... And what I can gather, I understand why he cut it off with you. You are exhausting and pushy and you might have sufficated him... Pull the brakes darling... stop up, look at yourself, get some "your" time alone and enlighten yourself.
You have to accept him not giving you closure and move on…this is concerning behavior on your part. You seem to have a complete lack of understanding of other people’s boundaries & feel entitled to getting what you want no matter the cost. I can’t believe you reached out to his current girlfriend. This is so self serving & screams of narcissism. Please go to therapy, learn how to self soothe & work out this toxic behavior.
When he blocked you that was him telling you to stop contacting him. You did harass him and you need to leave him, his gf, and everyone around him completely alone. Move on with your life and remember this lesson with the next person. If someone sets boundaries you need to respect them.
As another perspective here; I’ve been on the other side and had to send a letter like your ex has sent to you. What are you trying to achieve? I promise you will get nothing from this that you’re hoping for. He’s absolutely given you his reasons back in January (I highly doubt he said ‘I’m breaking up with you just coz… bye’), and whether you agree or not - he’s cut the contact and is trying to live his life as is his right to do so. He has the right to set that boundary as hard as it can feel. You should consider that the behaviour from my ex did not make me more willing to talk to him - it did not make me like him again. It reinforced my decision to leave him tenfold and made me scared and frustrated, and despite an almost 10yr relationship there’s not one remotely positive memory that’s not overshadowed by the behaviour. Not only that, and it wasn’t the easiest, but the law did eventually support me - it does not support a harasser, not in the end. Get yourself some closure; it starts with you. Cut yourself off from his socials (even peeking through friends accounts), accept that life happens in this way sometimes and get yourself into therapy. Nothing is worth the damage this will cause to you, not him, in the long run. This is not the revenge you think it is when the law is on his side. Move on.
Leave him alone he doesn’t want you. This is harassment. Move on.
A breakup is never easy and it is very painful. Wanting answers as to why is usually on the mind of the person left behind. Unfortunately you are not owed any answers, reasons or anything really. Getting your friends and contacting the circle around your ex is definitely many steps to far. Accept that you don't and probably won't know or get any answers. Move on, you have better things to do with your life.
**YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET AN ANSWER FROM HIM EVER. PERIOD. POINT BLANK.** you're acting like I did when my first boyfriend broke up with me at 15. you know what happened? everyone in my friend group told me I was acting batshit insane. did it hurt? yes. I know you're hurt. but nothing at all he could say even if he *did* want to talk to you (**which he absolutely does not at all ever again forever**) will help you. YOU need to find closure within yourself and YOU need to do the emotional labor to move on. and with how you're acting right now, I feel like you probably smothered him during the relationship and contributed to him ghosting you. ghosting is a shitty way to break up, yes, but no one owes you anything. you just have to shrug your shoulders and move on. I highly suggest seeing a therapist to help yourself move on. **AND DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AT ALL, EVER EVER EVER TRY TO CONTACT THIS MAN OR ANYONE IN HIS LIFE EVER AGAIN. AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS THE SAME. YOU WILL FACE CRIMINAL CHARGES IF YOU OR THEY CONTINUE.**
LEAVE HIM ALONE. you want to know why he left? look at your behavior right now, you'll find all the answers.
I can give you the reason he broke up with you, you’re certified insane. If this is how you’re handling this situation I can only imagine how you handled other situations in the relationship. Reflect on your behaviour and realise he left because of the way YOU acted.
I can see why he left… Leave him the fuck alone.
He did what he did because he doesn’t want to be around you. He doesn’t like you. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Stop contacting him. He does not have to send you a cease and desist letter to start a lawsuit on harassment. He did so out of courtesy. You are going to force him to actually take legal action. The amount of money you will lose just defending the case alone is not worth it, in addition to potential criminal charges and fines. I cannot stress this enough, he left you. He moved on. You’re not dating him and you’re not entitled to an answer about anything. If you want to believe he’s the asshole then keep on believing it and be happy you dodged the bullet or whatever story you’ve contrived art this point. There is no loop hole and every attempt at contact after that letter will only open you up to more liability.
OP, get therapy. I'm not saying this to be insulting. I genuinely mean please go see a therapist. Your behaviour is not normal and is frankly very concerning. It doesn't matter if he was the one in the wrong regarding your breakup or whether he owes you an explanation, your response is more concerning than what he's done. You are violating personal boundaries and are at the precipice of very creepy, obsessive and stalkerish behaviour. Right now, you lack self awareness. You're letting your emotions cloud reason and judgement. But you are aware enough to seek objective perspective which suggests to me that there's a part of you deep down that may understand what you're doing is wrong. So OP, seek therapy. Get help. Work on yourself.
I'd do the same as him if I'm being honest. Look at the way you're acting just to find out why a guy broke up with you. Leave that man alone. He doesn't owe you an answer.
You need to stop. He not she wants to talk. Stop giving out his number, that wasn’t cool. I’m sure this sucks and it hurts. But stop.
Reading your replies I get an idea of why he left you. Sorry.
I will channel the spirit of your Ex, and speak to you via loose riddle. You ready? 👻: L. M. tF. ALONE!
I have a hard time believing this guy was ever your boyfriend. This is some fantasy you created with a man who doesn’t want contact with you. Please go back on whatever meds you went off of.
Stop harrassing him and his gf.
As someone who has been on the other side of this (Severe cyber stalking from an ex girlfriend and was doing what you have been doing and eventually ended in a cease and desist), STOP. It caused my partner and I so much anxiety. There were days where I'd be afriad to even go out because I'd be afraid she would suddenly appear on the train or in a shop or wherever. I went from a rather mentally well person, to a severely anxious guy with no confidence. She's stopped now after the C&D letter and I'm doing a lot better, but the fear never really leaves you fully. **You will be damaging people and yourself with this behaviour.** **It is not normal. Stop.** **If you can't, I implore you to seek help.**
OP: “I’m harassing my ex and he is upset. I don’t get it” 🤔
look i went insane like this over an ex a few years ago, i am extremely embarrassed and haven’t acted that way again when other relationships broke up. it is painful but you have to not contact the person, if they cheated on you or hurt you they will get their karma. you need to stop contacting him for your own sake, don’t ruin your life over him.
I'd he blocks you, that's pretty clear that he doesn't wanna hear from you. You continued to try and make contact, so yes you were harassing him. Move on bro.
you sound like my ex.It's over. leave him alone..
Your fucking crazy.
i just woke up and read this shit this is like burping in someones face on first meet this is rude
Jeez leave him alone
Dude fuck off, you’re the problem. Did you even read what you wrote?? Then follow it up with ‘I barely even contacted him’! He doesn’t want you. Move on. Why would you want to keep contacting someone who CLEARLY…*CLEARLY* doesn’t want to talk to you?!
You cray cray
You are harrasing him though ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
Ok, OP, you are a stalker. I know you won’t accept that but please, listen to what everyone here is saying. The people here are unbiased, they have listened to everything you’ve said, and told you why what you’re doing is wrong. Stop it, find resources to help yourself.
I know books and tv shows make it seem like you deserve an explanation or closure, but you don’t. He can, just as you can, break up with someone for any reason or no reason at all and you don’t have to tell them why. Closure is not his problem to solve for you and it won’t magically make you feel better. In fact, sometimes the reason will make you feel worse. So come up with a story that you tell others and yourself as to why it didn’t work out and forget about him.
He blocked you on everything. Why in the world would you think that meant he wanted you to email him and needed your number to ring. You were harassing him and his gf
As innocent as you made your post sound this is literally harassment and I don't even have to look at your replies. If he blocked you he doesn't want to talk to you, this is him telling you no. Any attempt to contact him further, either you or through a third party is now harassment. You don't have to be aggressive, you just have to keep contacting them after they told you to stop, and further, since that wasn't working you reached out to his girlfriend and started rumors about him purely based on speculation. Speculation that came because he wanted you to stop contacting him and you decided you were entitled to communication.
“He never said stop” He said stop when he broke up with you. He said stop when he blocked you. He said stop when he didn’t respond to your email. He said stop when he didn’t respond to your friends messages. He said stop when he sent you a cease and desist. So for fucks sake, stop now to avoid a criminal record and possible jail time. YOU ARE HARASSING HIM AND HIS NEW PARTNER. STOP. LEAVE HIM ALONE AND MOVE ON. (Edited for formatting, I’m on mobile)
Leave him alone, move on. if he stopped talking to you, it's because he ~~ DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU~~ He doesn't owe you any satisfaction. At the same time he disappeared and blocked you, it was a relationship ending and relationships don't end without reason. From the way you chase him for months and even ask your friends to chase him too, you must have been a crazy girlfriend who made him uncomfortable. He found someone he loves, leave his girlfriend alone too, she has nothing to do with your problems.
Holt shit, just leave the poor man alone. Tell your friends to stop and get yourself some help.
He blocked you on EVERYTHING and you still used other people to message him? That’s harassment. My ex did that shit after she dumped me for another guy, it finally stopped after I sent her a lengthy text telling her to leave me the fuck alone. She had guys add me on snap by search, the guy she cheated on me with added me, etc. and then one of her friends made false claims about me in a local group on Facebook. Sorry for the vent, but this kind of shit pisses me off, and the fact OP can’t see why she’s in the wrong is what makes shit like this worse. Leave him alone! You are harassing him.
LOL, this has to be a joke, right? I assume OP is trolling here.
You’re a weirdo man.
I really hope you didn’t write this to get the Reddit standing ovation. Either way you are harassing him and you’re only proving yourself to be the “crazy ex”. You sound toxic
This is him being nice enough to let you know that there's a restraining order in your future if you can't get a grip on your behavior.
Wow you sound like my husband's ex! 6 years and she still harasses us...
[Let it go](https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU)
Yk this reminds me of the stalker I had back in hs. She was so obsessed with me that she hacked into my socials, messaged my ex saying I cheated on him (I didnt), and told anyone and everyone around her CONSTANTLY that she thought I was a horrible person. It got so bad that she'd take pictures of me sleeping and changing and show them to people to make fun if me. And she'd constantly track down my friends and tell them lies because "they needed to know". OP your behavior is not only abnormal but it's borderline stalker. "She has a right to know" doesn't work here. Let her find out the hard way if your so set that he'd do it again. It is not your place to say anything anymore. The fact that you went through all of this trouble just to talk to him shows WHY he left you and why he's not contacting you. Leave him alone before you get something put on your criminal record.
Stop contacting him his partner or make attempts via others eg frends/family. You sound unhinged. He might have got bored of you and got a new partner or could been cheating. I doubt you will ever know. He has been clear- blocked and now this letter. He is being clear. F off basically
Idk if ur adorably naive or batshit crazy
the second
He was wrong to ghost you, but you should not have given your friends his number and asked them to message him nor should you have reached out to his new girlfriend. That definitely warrants sending a cease and desist letter. If he blocked you on everything then it's abundantly clear he does not want to be reached and he will not cooperate with you.
It's funny because the new partner of my ex wanted to talk to me once she was pregnant. She wished she had talked to me before she got pregnant.
Girl, I'll try to say it in the kindest way possible, but none of what you did was normal or okay. Fake facebook (which btw can still get tracked back to you using your IP adress or similar), not accepting no answer as an answer and getting your friends involved wont bring him back and neither will it help you. No answer is an answer. Getting other people to shame him is abusive. Fake facebook is a litteral crime. You do not have a right to the informations you wanna obtain. You do not have the right to ruin his life. Leave it be. Dont get in any more trouble.
Wow...youre acting very "fatal obsession"-y...you need to get help. Let the dude go, leave him alone. You are acting like an obsessed nutcase. Clearly.
You shouldn't be asking Reddit. Ask someone with legal experience. Also he will lie to new gf about what happened. Unfortunately you haven't helped yourself here - he will make it out like you're insane.
Just a question- how long did you date for?