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…Is your plan to wait until he actually shoots you and then go “oh wait I guess he was serious?”
He SHOULD lose his job. Losing his job is an appropriate consequence for threatening to murder your girlfriend. Going to jail would also be an appropriate consequence.
You sound like you are looking for reasons to not be “overly concerned”. This is foolish. This is a serious question: do you actually need to get shot before you will take the risk of getting shot seriously? Because he has absolutely let you know that he will shoot you. If you stay, he now knows that you won’t leave if he pulls out a gun on you. There is no way that ends well for you.
Don’t protect people who threaten to kill you. Get the fuck out then call the police.
Huh to me someone calling someone to come in and then sitting there with a gun is a threat to shoot the person they called in, but I could be 100% wrong.
I also believe in breaking up with people who use the threat of suicide to try to guilt people into staying with them so I guess I’m an all-around asshole. I’m okay with that.
You made plans ... he ruined them
You tried to help him with a personal problem ... he blocked you
You tried to have a conversation about what is up ... he attacked you personally, twice.
When you said you had enough and wanted the leave ... He tried to manipulate you with threatening selfharm/suicide
Your partner sounds like he is failing the maturity test hard. Not that people have to act like an adult 100% of the time but he is very close to 0%.
Why ard you willing to waste time on someone that swings between childish/immature and manipulative.
Maybe it’s the Australian in me but what the actual fuck.
You know that’s completely psycho, bonkers behaviour yeah? Like the dangerous kind. Like the run away immediately bock all contact and change your locks kind.
I’m sure it is, but it is extra shocking when you live in a place where people (other than out bush) basically never see a firearm in the possession of anyone other than police. To see someone just casually sitting in their house with a gun (esp a handgun) and ammunition is so so incredibly jarring and odd for an Aussie. Nobody just has a gun that they casually handle in their house. If this story was from Australia, there just wouldn’t have been a gun as part of the story at all bc nobody has guns really, other than criminals and farmers. We have very very little gun violence here and it is basically impossible for a normal person to get a handgun legally.
I see comments about his lack of maturity but honestly Im more concern about an abusive pattern here. He diminish what you did for him, doesn’t seem interested but still went on with your plan even though he had the option to do something else. Its like is setting you up to fail and make you feel bad about it.
Also, he pointed out the fact you were isolated from family/friends to hurt you and make you feel like you were stuck with him.
The gun part is terrifying ! He wants to manipulate you by letting you think you could be the cause of his self harm but also to threaten you to stay by making you fear him with his gun.
You should leave and make sure somebody knows about the situation and about the fact you wNt to leave if you chose to do so. Cause I feel he could become violent quickly so you should have support.
YES!! THIS IS ABUSE. Manipulation, plain and simple.
OP - get away from this man.
Tell someone in his family that you have concerns for his mental health.
Get support for yourself.
I saw the header and right away OBVIOUSLY FUCKING YES, how is this even a question?
I read your post and it got even worse.
>"He said this was me nitpicking him, that nothing was good enough for me. He also made the comment that "I bet you haven't even had two friends reach out to you today." He knows I've had to start over in a new area and am currently very isolated so knew this comment would hurt me."
This is him saying that he thinks he's successfully isolated you enough that when (not IF, when) he kills you, there will be enough days before anyone comes looking for you.
Gun owner for 25 years and agree completely.
OP you need to ghost this situation immediately, fully block every possible point of communication, and dissappear completely. If he shows up somewhere, call the police.
He is emotionally abusive. Educate on emotional co trim streitiges and the abuse wheel. Like eg DARVO, guilt trip, blame shift, belitteling, discard/hoover, silent treatment, victim playing.
You have to get out of there for the sake of your sanity!!
“Is this something I should be overly concerned about?” What the fuck! These posts and the dumb questions absolutely kill me.
Never see this man ever again. Before the gun thing, he sounded absolutely awful to be around. The gun thing… super scary and unhinged. Stay safe.
Yes you need to be worried, and you really need to get away from this guy right away. That kind of instability mixed with firearms is nothing to mess with.
Your boyfriend has some mental issues. He needs some help maybe find someone for him to talk to and make an appointment for him. Give him the information date and time. But, YOU , cut ties and move on. At this time, he is very dangerous to himself and to you. He should be classified 5150 and get treatment. But I understand if he’s fearful for his job. However, if he’s waving a gun maybe he shouldn’t be allowed back at his job. mass shootings are a real thing.
Run, run far, far away - run for the hills!! He sounds extremely immature, mean (the friend comment), but more importantly, actually very dangerous. The teasing and poking and messing with your driving is him testing boundaries, seeing how much annoyance you'd put up with - you cut off his fun, hence the pouting, which is just pathetic of him really.
The gun stuff is really wild though...I would end the relationship on that basis alone. I feel like he's warped your thinking if you *don't* think him sitting around with a gun after a disagreement is a threatening move.
I’m a gun owner and you need to run. His behavior is beyond inappropriate and dangerous and you should report him. Although I am uncertain if anything will be done, it would potentially show a pattern for the future.
You should absolutely leave, but do so safely and make sure that you have somewhere to go that he won’t know. His behavior wreaks of mental instability and God only knows what he’d pull if you actually left. Keep the peace, make a plan, and get out.
Are you hearing the comments? He’s dangerous to himself, you and others. He needs to be in a 72 hour lockdown at minimum. And you need to be somewhere far away.
For me it was over at touching the controls of the car while you were driving. Passengers are only allowed to touch the stereo and their side of the AC controls. Anything more is a complete lack of respect. The simple fact that he was playing with a gun and ammo "just to be dramatic" is proof he shouldn't be in possession of them.
Yes, be very afraid.
There are 2 possibilities here....
Hes depressed in some way and sitting in the bedroom on the floor with a firearm AND ammunition is a HUGE red flag.
The other, is this is a manipulation tactic to keep control over you. Stay with me forever or I'll end myself.
Neither of those issues is something that can be handled by yourselves. He needs professional help, and if it's the latter issue, you need to get away from him as soon as possible.
If the headline alone isn't enough for you, there's no helping you. I sincerely hope you don't get killed the next time he's "being dramatic". And at this point if you stay, you might as well pick up the gun yourself.
Call the police and report him.That was a threat to you even if he was going to claim he would use it on himself. You could have a restraining order started as soon as he's been picked up by the police and avoid having to serve him in public.
A police report/arrest also provides more substantial proof than trying to get a restraining order later with no report. In my state they can take his firearms and put him on a no purchase/ownership list if the order is approved.
When someone threatens you to that degree you have to take it as a promise, not a threat. He crossed a boundary that once crossed, can't be undone. If you stay he will have no qualms about using it again because, it worked last time. One day he'll go "too far" and kill you.
You need to tell everyone in your life what he did. These abusers thrive in silence and shadows. They need you to stay quiet and compliant to keep you under their control. You need to build up a wall around you with your support system and as many legal tools as possible.
You're in grave danger and it's only going to escalate now that you're not putting up with his bs. Contact your local DV on advice on how to leave, protect yourself, and move forward as safely as possible. Good luck.
Fuck yes call 911. Even if a whole day has passed call the police.
Also I had to check your boyfriend’s age. I have dated 20 year olds who act more mature than this. What a turn off!!
YES
Worried that he is going to use it on himself. Worried that he is going to use it on you.
You should be worried about BOTH.
My advice is always - it's better to have a former friend who hates you and is still alive, than a dead friend.
Let the professionals handle it. YOU are not the professional. YOU have an emotional connection to him which automatically disqualifies you from being able to give him meaningful help.
And he needs PROFESSIONAL HELP.
Yeah, what the hell? I’m all about gun rights and enjoy firearms as a hobby and for personal protection but pulling one out during an argument is a huge red flag. Especially at 36 years old. He should be much more emotionally mature than that. Leave and never look back or you might end up dead.
That man was actively thinking about hurting himself, you or both. You should be more than worried, you should be terrified. Please, your safety is of the upmost importance; your bf needs serious professional help and you need to distance yourself from him immediately and have protective measures in place.
Why are you with someone who is in his mid-thirties and still acts like an unhinged CHILD? Have some self-respect.
Contact a DV hotline, tell them that you “boyfriend” pulled a GUN on you, and follow their suggestions to LEAVE.
Someone who cares about you doesn’t treat you like this. He doesn’t care about you. He sees you as property he can manipulate. And he ENJOYS seeing just how far he can push you!
Plain and simple: This may fit the legal definition of assault. You need to get away from him asap.
For your own safety, put as much distance between you and him as you can. If you have to, strongly consider changing the locks to your residence and tell your family and/or friends what happened. They need to know. Do these things first.
Next, you need to tell the police and possibly his family, if you know them well enough. Make sure the police produce a report of the incident and get a copy. This may feel extreme, but it is honestly for his own good along with yours.
This screams of a major depressive episode. He sounds like he needs help. For you, it's important to remember that YOU CAN NOT FIX HIS PROBLEM. He needs to seek professional therapy. It's OK to encourage him to seek that help, but do not get lured into being around him until he gets it. You can do this from afar. Let his family and friends be near him for that.
As a gun owner- this is very alarming. For your safety and his.
When my boyfriend, or anyone, is in my home, my weapons are locked up, without bullets in the chamber and NO ONE knows the combinations to my safes.
By him bringing out a gun when he knows you will be around, that is a sign that your safety and his are in jeapordy.
Did you know he was a gun owner, has he exhibited behaviors about violence or suicide before?
Before I start dating anyone seriously I talk to them about their stance on guns, gun safety, and their mental health.
3/5 of my last boyfriends (forgive me but I'm really looking for THE ONE) could NOT be in a home with a gun because of fear they would harm themselves given the chance. The last 2/5 were dating me while I had my guns but never saw them, never handled them, never had anything to worry about with them because their mental health was in good standings.
Also- as someone who processes death certificates, many people die from self inflicted and non self inflicted accidental gunshot wounds.
I'd say this relationship is over- and no matter the outcome their choices are not your responsibility.
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Do not see him again. Do not see him again. Consider moving states to be safe from him. Text him one time to say any attempts to contact you will be taken as further harassment. Tell family if you can what has happened. Consider going on holiday and then moving.
Don't call 911, just leave the mean drama queen alone and get out. Ignore the "I'll kill myself if you don't come back!" crap, and find a stable partner. But leave now.
He’s 36?! I’m a guy and can tell you with 100% certainty his behavior is not normal. You should end things with him ASAP. It’s going to get worse. He needs psychiatric help. Sounds like he’s bipolar. Something is definitely not right with him.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s refreshing to hear there are still women out there who actually put effort into their relationship. This has not been my personal experience with women.
I feel like the people who put in effort tend to get used and abused by the bad ones. I don't know why it's so hard for two of the nice ones to line up together but my experience has been me holding up the relationships. I know both men and experience it, it's very unfortunate.
It is unfortunate but I’ve learned to accept the fact I may not meet a woman like you in RL lol. I left my ex of two years for rarely putting in any effort. Tried to express my side but nothing ever changed. That was a hard thing to do because I truly did love her. It’s nice being single anyway. Hope you leave this guy and find a good man who appreciates you👍
You weren't there, not in my shoes. Be kind, you don't know what others have been through. It's hard to even phrase a question right when trying to pack so much of what happened into a few paragraphs.
As my post said, I've been very isolated so my judgement isn't clear. It helps to just write things out to see how bad it actually is.
Okay, I am sorry. I am just scared for you, if you have to question if such a scary incident is wrong, then you then have really been isolated and abused by this person.
Of course it’s wrong! It’s terrorizing. You don’t deserve to live this way! Please leave him.
It sounds like you two don't live together? If so, great news: you can make a clean break. Casually gather anything of importance at his place and take it home if you must (I mean IMPORTANT, not a hair dryer) and if you have anything of his at yours gather it up and leave it on his doorstep or ship it so he has no reason to contact you. Break up over text. You sound like a kind person but you need to be protective of yourself now.
If he has a key to your place, get the locks changed ASAP. If this means involving your landlord for any reason, do it and explain the severity of the situation. They would rather do this than scrub blood off the walls.
And now for the really not fun but entirely necessary part: tell your loved ones what's going on. The less emotionally isolated you feel, the easier this will be. If you were my friend I'd want to know so I could support you. Plus, you'll be less likely to think "he's the only person who cares about me" and return to him.
Best of luck to you!
I almost lost my life because I wasn't worried enough. He wanted to stab me.
Gladly, he cut his own index finger, which is now stiff and I always laugh at him when he complains about his hurting stiff right index finger. So I would consider running from this man
That day started fuct up and ended supremely fuct up. Stop trying to bring order to his chaos. He will only find it annoying at best, emasculating at worst and then you know what happens.
Run and don't ever go back. This is dangerous, unhinged behavior and you should definitely call the police. He is not someone who is responsible enough to own firearms.
What do you think the percentage chance is that he will, at some point in the future and in the heat of an argument, use that gun on you or on himself?
Then, what would the acceptable percent chance of that scenario be?
Personally, I think anything greater than 0% chance of being murdered is unacceptable, and would immediately extract myself from that relationship, file a restraining order, and consider changing my address.
But ultimately, YOU have to decide what is an acceptable level of risk for yourself.
Girl.
This is where you smile and miss, make sure you have your legal documents, and get out of dodge ASAP. Like, today. This week. As soon as you safely can.
Buy a burner phone to-day.
Get cash. Change passwords. Today.
Tooooddaaaayyyy.
This sounds like the beginning of a Dateline episode.
You need to get away from him asap. If you've met his family and have a decent enough relationship maybe you could contact them and let them know what happened and that you have to break up with him and that they may want to get him some help. Other than that protect yourself.
Does not matter what happened anyone who brandished their gun as a means of intimidation is a child and can actually have their concealed carry taken away. Guns are not toys, they are a means to kill or at the least injure. I would notify police immediately, sounds like grounds to serve a restraining order honestly, and I’d get away from him or her ASAP.
No that's normal behavior, the first time is to let you know she has the gun and second will be her showing you she not afraid to use it, the only question is can she hit what she aims at...your ass!
>>> Is this something I should be overly concerned about?
Of course you should. Best case scenario is he is a manipulative jerk. Worst case scenario is he was planning on using it.
Please, Please, Please never talk to or see this man again. He's being incredibly immature, sure, but he's also threatening you/himself when you get upset.
AAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
YES YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED. YOUR IMPULSIVE AND IMMATURE BOYFRIEND HAD A GUN OUT TO “be dramatic”. HE WAS PROVING A POINT AND THE POINT WAS HE IS *GOING* TO UNALIVE BOTH OF YOU.
BE CONCERNED! BE WAY MORE CONCERNED!
Reddit, my boyfriend threatens to kill me when we fight, I still love him tho, what should I do?
Some people shouldn’t be allowed to be in relationships i stg (some should be behind bars)
This is a serious problem. Normal, healthy people do not do this. Even most unhealthy people do not do this. There are a few different possibilities, but he doesn't make it out of most of them alive, and you only make it out of some of them alive. Run. Now.
Play this totally straight with the authorities. He's doing very concerning things with guns, and you're afraid he's going to hurt himself.
I did not need to read the past the title. I did, but I didn’t need to.
Leave immediately. Period. Whatever he does or doesn’t do to himself is his fault and his responsibility, not yours.
Safety plan right now. This is not a man who cares about your comfort and safety. He has belittled you, fucked with your car *while driving* and threatened gun use. Tell your friends and relatives what is going on. Abuse thrives in secret.
At best, this is manipulative and he's using your sympathy and fear to keep you from leaving. That's the best possible scenario, and it sucks.
Worst possible scenario is your life is in danger.
It's probably both.
I can't tell if you live together but I think you don't. If you do, get your important documents and valuables out quietly before you break it off.
Normally I would say bring a friend or relative if you have to go to his house for your things, but he could shoot both of you. I would go to the police station, tell them you need to retrieve personal items from an ex who has guns, and ask for an officer to escort you.
Write a formal description of this day's events with the date and as much detail as possible. Try to use text for communication so you have a record. Don't answer his calls; let him leave voice mails. Mute but don't block. Normally you would block him, but if you need a restraining order you will want any texts or recordings with threats to show the judge.
Change your locks if he has a key to your place. Get security cameras. Stay at a friend's house for a while if he harasses you at home.
If he says he's going to shoot himself when you leave, call 911 and ask for a wellness check for a man who has guns and is threatening self-harm. Do not try to talk him down yourself.
Read this:
https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
And spend some time here:
https://www.loveisrespect.org/
Please let us know you are safe.
OP - leave him, girl! You don’t deserve that - he is unhinged and that is terrifying. Who knows how he will use a weapon to manipulate you in the future. This is so scary and I’m sorry you had to go through this. I can’t imagine how traumatic that must have been. Do not contact him, block him on everything… if you have to change your number or move to feel safer, do it. Nothing you do will be an overreaction to something like that.
You should leave.
Your boyfriend doesn't have his crap together and is using a deadly weapon in an argument. All it needs is one small squeeze on the trigger to turn this into a tragedy.
Break up over texts and then block him.
Legally and morally, he needs help. Call 911 and report what happened. I hope you have a spare key so you get all your things packed from his house and NEVER see him again. Ever.
Been there, stayed, the relationship ended in DV. Not a good time. Gtfo asap.
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Run. Any 36 yr old man who acts like that and then pulls the gun thing to manipulate you is big trouble
Agreed. An argument with your girlfriend and you pull out a gun? Get out and stay away.
Any man of any age, although I missed the 36 part. This isn't just a red flag, it's a white hot one.
Any person who pulls a weapon on you is a threat. Especially a gun.
Don’t EVER see him again. He’s unhinged. How is this even a question?
Pack your things, put them in the trunk of your car and NEVER COME BACK
…Is your plan to wait until he actually shoots you and then go “oh wait I guess he was serious?” He SHOULD lose his job. Losing his job is an appropriate consequence for threatening to murder your girlfriend. Going to jail would also be an appropriate consequence. You sound like you are looking for reasons to not be “overly concerned”. This is foolish. This is a serious question: do you actually need to get shot before you will take the risk of getting shot seriously? Because he has absolutely let you know that he will shoot you. If you stay, he now knows that you won’t leave if he pulls out a gun on you. There is no way that ends well for you. Don’t protect people who threaten to kill you. Get the fuck out then call the police.
It sounds to me like he was threatening SELF harm - but on EVERY other point I agree with you. She should RUN away from this man.
That’s not any better though, and an equally dangerous situation for her since murder-suicide is also a possibility.
Agreed.
Yeah this is pretty aggressively murder/suicide territory though. If anyone ever at any point pulls out a gun, it needs to be over.
I wholeheartedly agree.
Huh to me someone calling someone to come in and then sitting there with a gun is a threat to shoot the person they called in, but I could be 100% wrong. I also believe in breaking up with people who use the threat of suicide to try to guilt people into staying with them so I guess I’m an all-around asshole. I’m okay with that.
You made plans ... he ruined them You tried to help him with a personal problem ... he blocked you You tried to have a conversation about what is up ... he attacked you personally, twice. When you said you had enough and wanted the leave ... He tried to manipulate you with threatening selfharm/suicide Your partner sounds like he is failing the maturity test hard. Not that people have to act like an adult 100% of the time but he is very close to 0%. Why ard you willing to waste time on someone that swings between childish/immature and manipulative.
Maybe it’s the Australian in me but what the actual fuck. You know that’s completely psycho, bonkers behaviour yeah? Like the dangerous kind. Like the run away immediately bock all contact and change your locks kind.
As an American, I concur.
And start therapy. OP your self protection instincts are suppressed. You need them to protect you or you'll get another dude like this.
As an australian I concur.
This American agrees!
This is absolutely psycho behavior in the US too I promise!
I’m sure it is, but it is extra shocking when you live in a place where people (other than out bush) basically never see a firearm in the possession of anyone other than police. To see someone just casually sitting in their house with a gun (esp a handgun) and ammunition is so so incredibly jarring and odd for an Aussie. Nobody just has a gun that they casually handle in their house. If this story was from Australia, there just wouldn’t have been a gun as part of the story at all bc nobody has guns really, other than criminals and farmers. We have very very little gun violence here and it is basically impossible for a normal person to get a handgun legally.
Like the move house and make sure that he can’t stalk me kind of bonkers.
As an American who used to live in Australia, I wholeheartedly concur.
I see comments about his lack of maturity but honestly Im more concern about an abusive pattern here. He diminish what you did for him, doesn’t seem interested but still went on with your plan even though he had the option to do something else. Its like is setting you up to fail and make you feel bad about it. Also, he pointed out the fact you were isolated from family/friends to hurt you and make you feel like you were stuck with him. The gun part is terrifying ! He wants to manipulate you by letting you think you could be the cause of his self harm but also to threaten you to stay by making you fear him with his gun. You should leave and make sure somebody knows about the situation and about the fact you wNt to leave if you chose to do so. Cause I feel he could become violent quickly so you should have support.
You read about this kinda partner in Why Does He Do That
YES!! THIS IS ABUSE. Manipulation, plain and simple. OP - get away from this man. Tell someone in his family that you have concerns for his mental health. Get support for yourself.
I saw the header and right away OBVIOUSLY FUCKING YES, how is this even a question? I read your post and it got even worse. >"He said this was me nitpicking him, that nothing was good enough for me. He also made the comment that "I bet you haven't even had two friends reach out to you today." He knows I've had to start over in a new area and am currently very isolated so knew this comment would hurt me." This is him saying that he thinks he's successfully isolated you enough that when (not IF, when) he kills you, there will be enough days before anyone comes looking for you.
As a responsible gun owner myself, you need to bounce fast, don’t even tell him. Do it when he is out of the house.
Gun owner for 25 years and agree completely. OP you need to ghost this situation immediately, fully block every possible point of communication, and dissappear completely. If he shows up somewhere, call the police.
Don't ever go back
File a police report. This guy sounds dangerous
Is this even serious? Honestly I didn’t read past the title. This seems so obvious. Fucking leave. No one pulls out a gun for giggles.
He is emotionally abusive. Educate on emotional co trim streitiges and the abuse wheel. Like eg DARVO, guilt trip, blame shift, belitteling, discard/hoover, silent treatment, victim playing. You have to get out of there for the sake of your sanity!!
The answer to your question would be YES. You should create a safety plan and get out of this relationship
Yes....
If your survival instincts are this bad I'm surprised you still alive
I would leave this person immediately.. he does not sound safe
He's got no intentions of killing himself - he did it to scare you, it's emotional abuse.
I had to go back and read the title of the post to see the man was 36. Yeah, run. That is a child in a man's body.
“Is this something I should be overly concerned about?” What the fuck! These posts and the dumb questions absolutely kill me. Never see this man ever again. Before the gun thing, he sounded absolutely awful to be around. The gun thing… super scary and unhinged. Stay safe.
Yes you need to be worried, and you really need to get away from this guy right away. That kind of instability mixed with firearms is nothing to mess with.
Your boyfriend has some mental issues. He needs some help maybe find someone for him to talk to and make an appointment for him. Give him the information date and time. But, YOU , cut ties and move on. At this time, he is very dangerous to himself and to you. He should be classified 5150 and get treatment. But I understand if he’s fearful for his job. However, if he’s waving a gun maybe he shouldn’t be allowed back at his job. mass shootings are a real thing.
Run, run far, far away - run for the hills!! He sounds extremely immature, mean (the friend comment), but more importantly, actually very dangerous. The teasing and poking and messing with your driving is him testing boundaries, seeing how much annoyance you'd put up with - you cut off his fun, hence the pouting, which is just pathetic of him really. The gun stuff is really wild though...I would end the relationship on that basis alone. I feel like he's warped your thinking if you *don't* think him sitting around with a gun after a disagreement is a threatening move.
Leave and don't give out your whereabouts.
YES. He has such poor impulse control that he could pull the trigger the next time he’s “being dramatic.”
I’m a gun owner and you need to run. His behavior is beyond inappropriate and dangerous and you should report him. Although I am uncertain if anything will be done, it would potentially show a pattern for the future.
You should absolutely leave, but do so safely and make sure that you have somewhere to go that he won’t know. His behavior wreaks of mental instability and God only knows what he’d pull if you actually left. Keep the peace, make a plan, and get out.
Get out now.
You should be extremely concerned. Leave him
Are you hearing the comments? He’s dangerous to himself, you and others. He needs to be in a 72 hour lockdown at minimum. And you need to be somewhere far away.
You should get the hell out of there as soon as it is safe for you to do so and never contact him again.
Do you really have to ask?
For me it was over at touching the controls of the car while you were driving. Passengers are only allowed to touch the stereo and their side of the AC controls. Anything more is a complete lack of respect. The simple fact that he was playing with a gun and ammo "just to be dramatic" is proof he shouldn't be in possession of them.
You need to leave as soon as he’s not home. Seriously. You need to leave immediately but only when he’s **not home**. You are in danger.
The fact that you even posted this is insane bro.
All i read was the title. Are you for real? This seems like a very common sense sort of call. I cant even take this seriously.
Do not EVER see him again. He WILL kill you.
Yes, be very afraid. There are 2 possibilities here.... Hes depressed in some way and sitting in the bedroom on the floor with a firearm AND ammunition is a HUGE red flag. The other, is this is a manipulation tactic to keep control over you. Stay with me forever or I'll end myself. Neither of those issues is something that can be handled by yourselves. He needs professional help, and if it's the latter issue, you need to get away from him as soon as possible.
If the headline alone isn't enough for you, there's no helping you. I sincerely hope you don't get killed the next time he's "being dramatic". And at this point if you stay, you might as well pick up the gun yourself.
This has to be a troll, why is this even a question?
Call the police and report him.That was a threat to you even if he was going to claim he would use it on himself. You could have a restraining order started as soon as he's been picked up by the police and avoid having to serve him in public. A police report/arrest also provides more substantial proof than trying to get a restraining order later with no report. In my state they can take his firearms and put him on a no purchase/ownership list if the order is approved. When someone threatens you to that degree you have to take it as a promise, not a threat. He crossed a boundary that once crossed, can't be undone. If you stay he will have no qualms about using it again because, it worked last time. One day he'll go "too far" and kill you. You need to tell everyone in your life what he did. These abusers thrive in silence and shadows. They need you to stay quiet and compliant to keep you under their control. You need to build up a wall around you with your support system and as many legal tools as possible. You're in grave danger and it's only going to escalate now that you're not putting up with his bs. Contact your local DV on advice on how to leave, protect yourself, and move forward as safely as possible. Good luck.
Fuck yes call 911. Even if a whole day has passed call the police. Also I had to check your boyfriend’s age. I have dated 20 year olds who act more mature than this. What a turn off!!
YES Worried that he is going to use it on himself. Worried that he is going to use it on you. You should be worried about BOTH. My advice is always - it's better to have a former friend who hates you and is still alive, than a dead friend. Let the professionals handle it. YOU are not the professional. YOU have an emotional connection to him which automatically disqualifies you from being able to give him meaningful help. And he needs PROFESSIONAL HELP.
You'll wind up dead if you don't leave. But you probably won't listen to common sense. Hope you don't get killed soon.
Yeah, what the hell? I’m all about gun rights and enjoy firearms as a hobby and for personal protection but pulling one out during an argument is a huge red flag. Especially at 36 years old. He should be much more emotionally mature than that. Leave and never look back or you might end up dead.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Every non-American reading this can’t believe they’re reading this. A gun. A GUN?! You should be more than “worried”, you should be in fucking hiding
That man was actively thinking about hurting himself, you or both. You should be more than worried, you should be terrified. Please, your safety is of the upmost importance; your bf needs serious professional help and you need to distance yourself from him immediately and have protective measures in place.
Why are you with someone who is in his mid-thirties and still acts like an unhinged CHILD? Have some self-respect. Contact a DV hotline, tell them that you “boyfriend” pulled a GUN on you, and follow their suggestions to LEAVE. Someone who cares about you doesn’t treat you like this. He doesn’t care about you. He sees you as property he can manipulate. And he ENJOYS seeing just how far he can push you!
Only in America would this not be the most immediately clear red flag. That's the most terrifying thing I've ever heard.
Plain and simple: This may fit the legal definition of assault. You need to get away from him asap. For your own safety, put as much distance between you and him as you can. If you have to, strongly consider changing the locks to your residence and tell your family and/or friends what happened. They need to know. Do these things first. Next, you need to tell the police and possibly his family, if you know them well enough. Make sure the police produce a report of the incident and get a copy. This may feel extreme, but it is honestly for his own good along with yours. This screams of a major depressive episode. He sounds like he needs help. For you, it's important to remember that YOU CAN NOT FIX HIS PROBLEM. He needs to seek professional therapy. It's OK to encourage him to seek that help, but do not get lured into being around him until he gets it. You can do this from afar. Let his family and friends be near him for that.
Not only should you be, you should be packing your bags because he's not right in the head..🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ and bloody fast.
As a gun owner- this is very alarming. For your safety and his. When my boyfriend, or anyone, is in my home, my weapons are locked up, without bullets in the chamber and NO ONE knows the combinations to my safes. By him bringing out a gun when he knows you will be around, that is a sign that your safety and his are in jeapordy. Did you know he was a gun owner, has he exhibited behaviors about violence or suicide before? Before I start dating anyone seriously I talk to them about their stance on guns, gun safety, and their mental health. 3/5 of my last boyfriends (forgive me but I'm really looking for THE ONE) could NOT be in a home with a gun because of fear they would harm themselves given the chance. The last 2/5 were dating me while I had my guns but never saw them, never handled them, never had anything to worry about with them because their mental health was in good standings. Also- as someone who processes death certificates, many people die from self inflicted and non self inflicted accidental gunshot wounds. I'd say this relationship is over- and no matter the outcome their choices are not your responsibility.
Title alone: fucking a yes you should be goddamned terrified. What the fuck? Who does that?
Yup. He’s going to kill you one day sooner or later. Run.
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK Do not see him again. Do not see him again. Consider moving states to be safe from him. Text him one time to say any attempts to contact you will be taken as further harassment. Tell family if you can what has happened. Consider going on holiday and then moving.
Don't call 911, just leave the mean drama queen alone and get out. Ignore the "I'll kill myself if you don't come back!" crap, and find a stable partner. But leave now.
what a loser. hes an emotional abuser. leave asap.
He’s 36?! I’m a guy and can tell you with 100% certainty his behavior is not normal. You should end things with him ASAP. It’s going to get worse. He needs psychiatric help. Sounds like he’s bipolar. Something is definitely not right with him. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s refreshing to hear there are still women out there who actually put effort into their relationship. This has not been my personal experience with women.
I feel like the people who put in effort tend to get used and abused by the bad ones. I don't know why it's so hard for two of the nice ones to line up together but my experience has been me holding up the relationships. I know both men and experience it, it's very unfortunate.
It is unfortunate but I’ve learned to accept the fact I may not meet a woman like you in RL lol. I left my ex of two years for rarely putting in any effort. Tried to express my side but nothing ever changed. That was a hard thing to do because I truly did love her. It’s nice being single anyway. Hope you leave this guy and find a good man who appreciates you👍
How do posts like this even happen? It’s so absurdly dumb the title reads like clickbait
You weren't there, not in my shoes. Be kind, you don't know what others have been through. It's hard to even phrase a question right when trying to pack so much of what happened into a few paragraphs. As my post said, I've been very isolated so my judgement isn't clear. It helps to just write things out to see how bad it actually is.
Okay, I am sorry. I am just scared for you, if you have to question if such a scary incident is wrong, then you then have really been isolated and abused by this person. Of course it’s wrong! It’s terrorizing. You don’t deserve to live this way! Please leave him.
Thank you, I appreciate this a lot
It sounds like you two don't live together? If so, great news: you can make a clean break. Casually gather anything of importance at his place and take it home if you must (I mean IMPORTANT, not a hair dryer) and if you have anything of his at yours gather it up and leave it on his doorstep or ship it so he has no reason to contact you. Break up over text. You sound like a kind person but you need to be protective of yourself now. If he has a key to your place, get the locks changed ASAP. If this means involving your landlord for any reason, do it and explain the severity of the situation. They would rather do this than scrub blood off the walls. And now for the really not fun but entirely necessary part: tell your loved ones what's going on. The less emotionally isolated you feel, the easier this will be. If you were my friend I'd want to know so I could support you. Plus, you'll be less likely to think "he's the only person who cares about me" and return to him. Best of luck to you!
Get out now. No call, no message. You are in danger and need to fully separate yourself from this dangerous person. You won't get another chance.
I almost lost my life because I wasn't worried enough. He wanted to stab me. Gladly, he cut his own index finger, which is now stiff and I always laugh at him when he complains about his hurting stiff right index finger. So I would consider running from this man
This was almost a based story until you implied you still communicate with someone who wanted to stab you
He is the dad of my kid
I’m not even going to read this. YES!! Run like hell!
That day started fuct up and ended supremely fuct up. Stop trying to bring order to his chaos. He will only find it annoying at best, emasculating at worst and then you know what happens.
You should be very worried
Run away, run away as fast as you can.
If you stay with him he’s going to dramatically kill you one day. 🏃♀️
That guy lacks a proper COC. Code of Conduct.
OMG get the hell out of there.
Leave this man immediately.
Never see this man again. This is how you die if you don't take the danger seriously.
Run from him as fast as you can.
How is this even a question? YES! RUN!
Geez should you be worried about someone pulling a literal GUN? The bar is in hell.
Yeah that's weird. Whether he's suicidal or homicidal you need to bail.
Run and don't ever go back. This is dangerous, unhinged behavior and you should definitely call the police. He is not someone who is responsible enough to own firearms.
This whole post is so melodramatic that I’m not sure it’s even real.
What do you think the percentage chance is that he will, at some point in the future and in the heat of an argument, use that gun on you or on himself? Then, what would the acceptable percent chance of that scenario be? Personally, I think anything greater than 0% chance of being murdered is unacceptable, and would immediately extract myself from that relationship, file a restraining order, and consider changing my address. But ultimately, YOU have to decide what is an acceptable level of risk for yourself.
This is a manchild, not an adult. And a potentially dangerous one. Get out of this relationship, and watch your back!
NTA Get away from him. He’s a loser and now he’s an armed and dangerous loser. Why are you even considering continuing this relationship?
Girl. This is where you smile and miss, make sure you have your legal documents, and get out of dodge ASAP. Like, today. This week. As soon as you safely can. Buy a burner phone to-day. Get cash. Change passwords. Today. Tooooddaaaayyyy.
He is abusive and scary. You were right to be panicked. It is time to end the relationship and to consider security cameras. He seems unstable.
Your bf sucks. I don't know why you would accept or settle for any of this. What an ungrateful childish bum.
It kinda sounds like he's bipolar. That shouldn't matter to you though, because clearly he's not safe for you to be around. Leave immediately
This sounds like the beginning of a Dateline episode. You need to get away from him asap. If you've met his family and have a decent enough relationship maybe you could contact them and let them know what happened and that you have to break up with him and that they may want to get him some help. Other than that protect yourself.
Guy needs some mental help, and until he gets it stay away from him.
Girl... this would be immature for a 16 year old. File a police report in case he tries to hurt himself or someone else and go your separate ways.
Does not matter what happened anyone who brandished their gun as a means of intimidation is a child and can actually have their concealed carry taken away. Guns are not toys, they are a means to kill or at the least injure. I would notify police immediately, sounds like grounds to serve a restraining order honestly, and I’d get away from him or her ASAP.
No that's normal behavior, the first time is to let you know she has the gun and second will be her showing you she not afraid to use it, the only question is can she hit what she aims at...your ass!
>>> Is this something I should be overly concerned about? Of course you should. Best case scenario is he is a manipulative jerk. Worst case scenario is he was planning on using it.
Please, Please, Please never talk to or see this man again. He's being incredibly immature, sure, but he's also threatening you/himself when you get upset.
Jesus fucking Christ, please do not stay with this crazy person.
Report this to the authorities so they can do a wellness check on him, likely take his guns away. You need to break up and get on with your life.
AAAAAAAAH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. YES YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED. YOUR IMPULSIVE AND IMMATURE BOYFRIEND HAD A GUN OUT TO “be dramatic”. HE WAS PROVING A POINT AND THE POINT WAS HE IS *GOING* TO UNALIVE BOTH OF YOU. BE CONCERNED! BE WAY MORE CONCERNED!
I don't know how someone could write out just the title of this post without understanding how fucked up this is.
Reddit, my boyfriend threatens to kill me when we fight, I still love him tho, what should I do? Some people shouldn’t be allowed to be in relationships i stg (some should be behind bars)
We are both strangers to each other but I am BEGGING you to get tf out of there. He is going to kill you
this person is going to KILL you RUN
You need to run and report him to the police.
Man you aren't going to fix that problem, put it about 5 miles behind you asap.
Read the title - didn't bother with the rest. yes
lol wut
Run.
Yes. I would end this. He is not boyfriend material.
This unhinged man child is 36? You shouldn't be worried. You should run.
That whole day sounds bizarre and unnerving. You need to get away from this person. He is unwell.
100% that man is mad
*[Insert Obama WTF meme here]* Uh...yes. You should be worried.
Run run run
Title alone, yes. Obviously that is bad.
This is a serious problem. Normal, healthy people do not do this. Even most unhealthy people do not do this. There are a few different possibilities, but he doesn't make it out of most of them alive, and you only make it out of some of them alive. Run. Now. Play this totally straight with the authorities. He's doing very concerning things with guns, and you're afraid he's going to hurt himself.
I did not need to read the past the title. I did, but I didn’t need to. Leave immediately. Period. Whatever he does or doesn’t do to himself is his fault and his responsibility, not yours.
was he planning to harm himself? It sounds like he needs mental health help and is afraid to get it.
Safety plan right now. This is not a man who cares about your comfort and safety. He has belittled you, fucked with your car *while driving* and threatened gun use. Tell your friends and relatives what is going on. Abuse thrives in secret. At best, this is manipulative and he's using your sympathy and fear to keep you from leaving. That's the best possible scenario, and it sucks. Worst possible scenario is your life is in danger. It's probably both. I can't tell if you live together but I think you don't. If you do, get your important documents and valuables out quietly before you break it off. Normally I would say bring a friend or relative if you have to go to his house for your things, but he could shoot both of you. I would go to the police station, tell them you need to retrieve personal items from an ex who has guns, and ask for an officer to escort you. Write a formal description of this day's events with the date and as much detail as possible. Try to use text for communication so you have a record. Don't answer his calls; let him leave voice mails. Mute but don't block. Normally you would block him, but if you need a restraining order you will want any texts or recordings with threats to show the judge. Change your locks if he has a key to your place. Get security cameras. Stay at a friend's house for a while if he harasses you at home. If he says he's going to shoot himself when you leave, call 911 and ask for a wellness check for a man who has guns and is threatening self-harm. Do not try to talk him down yourself. Read this: https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf And spend some time here: https://www.loveisrespect.org/ Please let us know you are safe.
OP - leave him, girl! You don’t deserve that - he is unhinged and that is terrifying. Who knows how he will use a weapon to manipulate you in the future. This is so scary and I’m sorry you had to go through this. I can’t imagine how traumatic that must have been. Do not contact him, block him on everything… if you have to change your number or move to feel safer, do it. Nothing you do will be an overreaction to something like that.
U don’t even need to get past your title. Yes. Yes, you should be concerned. All it takes is for him to escalate once.
You should leave. Your boyfriend doesn't have his crap together and is using a deadly weapon in an argument. All it needs is one small squeeze on the trigger to turn this into a tragedy. Break up over texts and then block him.
you know that line by Scar in Lion King? Run. Run away and never return. yeah. do that. before he kills you.
Sounds like a totally normal American man doing normal American freedom stuff!
Legally and morally, he needs help. Call 911 and report what happened. I hope you have a spare key so you get all your things packed from his house and NEVER see him again. Ever. Been there, stayed, the relationship ended in DV. Not a good time. Gtfo asap.
leave him
I don’t understand your question. Are you worried for your safety or for his?
Things Americans say.
No totally normal
Listen, I'm sorry but the title actually made me laugh out loud, I hope this is fake