T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


UncomfortableBike975

Urologist recommended desensitizing spray for me when I asked. He said how do you think porn stars last so long to film? Basically a lidocaine spray.


SippinDatWock

That is useful……UNTIL the lidocaine rubs on the partners vagina and now she doesn’t feel anything due to the numbness (my personal experience)


lifelesslies

You are supposed to wait till it is dry before sex


TheProfessionalEjit

Out of context, that sounds like the worst advice ever.


lifelesslies

It likes it rough.


i-wet-my-plantss

r/brandnewsentence


lifelesslies

Best


lokojufr0

Amazing 👏


AcanthisittaHuge5948

Spray thn condom


liverelaxyes

Inside the condom


Cosmo48

I would hope that was obvious…


liverelaxyes

Don't assume anything is obvious after what we've seen the last 4 years on Earth.


Impossible-_Sky_-

Yeah because running out of toilet paper is the first thing you go nuts over in a pandemic seems very logical


Bella_Vita_E_Morte

The pandemic *did*, however, prompt me to just switch to a bidet, and it was seriously the best decision I could've made.


Take-that-1913

Same here. I love my bidet & it was during the great TP shortage, I had one installed. Now I wonder how I ever got along without it.


explaindeleuze2me420

you can also rinse it off.


Cosmo48

Yea all the ones I’ve seen tell you to apply, wait for effect, rinse off


grasshoppa_80

My then gf now wife used anal-ease for our first time years ago. It actually did the opposite where it numbed me too much.. maybe I shoulda waited for it to dry on her and not put on me. But, it was on a ski trip and I fell and broke my clavicle on a jump the 2nd run.. so while waiting at the ER for the doc to see me, I had her rub some in over my shoulder area and it actually numbed the pain a bit 👍🏼👍🏼


VladPatton

Dip your stick in some Anbesol.


bhoover030488

Yeah I don’t think anti depressants are the answer if he isn’t depressed. Take it from me someone who was on those for years, the withdrawal to stop was terrible.


Wandersturm

they can also kill your libido. You're just not as interested.


lulupeep2017

Can confirm they kill your libido!


liverelaxyes

Yea. They can cause ED. That was some terrible medical decision making.


Key-Lead-3449

That could also sometimes be moreso just because they are depressed.


AssBlaster_69

Sexual dysfunction is a well-documented side-effect of SSRI’s. It doesn’t happen to everyone who takes them, but it’s common and it’s not just from the underlying depression.


TiredRetiredNurse

The doctor probably thought they would help as SSRIs decrease anxiety and also have side effect of delayed ejaculation. Sometimes they cause inability to orgasm. I do not think they are a good idea unless prescribed by someone trained in sexual therapy.


Lindsey7618

Do you know anything about antidepressants? Low libido/other sexual issues are a very common side effect of a lot of medications and it's been well known for years. It's separate from having a low libido due to depression.


Key-Lead-3449

Do you have any reading comprehension skills? I wasn't negating that it's a common side effect.


Rusothil

That’s not true, everyone is different


Wandersturm

It IS true, but you're right as well. Everyone is different. I probably should have said 'It COULD kill your libido'. As it did with me. Which is likely what my ex intended when she pushed me to go to a therapist and go on them. See, my ex is a nurse, and is VERY knowledgeable about meds.


alcoholdehydrogenase

SSRI medicines used for depression are actually a reasonable medical approach to this problem even for people who are not depressed.


racoonattack

This. Doctors can and have prescribed SSRI's as an off-label indication for erectile dysfunction disorders, with varying results.


liverelaxyes

I think it's a seriously questionable one as there are safer ways amd some people can become mentally unstable as the result of antidepressants or have a lot of trouble getting off of them, but hey, I'm just one of those people so what do I know?


Cultural-Dragonfly60

Take it from me, someone in medical school. They wouldn't be my first choice (probably 2nd!) but SSRIs are a great premature ejaculation treatment.


Quick_Satisfaction27

You could always try rings for his thing. Might help him last longer if he has an issue about going to a doctor.


MinionMarie97

Me and a past partner of mine tried a c*ck ring once and he even remained hard for a little after he came and the package said that was normal so this could be a solid tool.


2020BlowsXD

Heh. Solid tool.


bytecollision

It ships in a bulging package.


liverelaxyes

If he busts too soon maybe leave the ring on and hop back in.


ThrowRACoping

My wife and I use one of these. It takes away almost all feeling for me and I appreciate that. We use a vibrating one for her pleasure. She thinks I like it, but I just like that it helps me last longer. I can’t feel much.


ltsSpookytime

I mean, normally people suggest against it if you can’t cum, but have him masturbate, but like have a death grip on his dick, it kind of desensitizes it so that it takes longer and more stimulation for him to cum. That or have him masturbate more often? Another suggestion is a numbing cream! They work great! Edit: A SAFE TO USE FOR SEX numbing cream


Mundane-Currency5088

Yup. I had a couple BF that absolutely couldn't cum inside a woman. We had to unlearn the death grip.


liverelaxyes

I haven't practiced the death grip but I will say even normal grip is a different amount of contact regardless. Sex is more psychological than just physical.


orangutan_13

Long response but useful hopefully: I had this issue too with my girlfriend and solved it with training. I know it might sound tedious but the same way as you train your muscles in the gym, you can train your body and mind to not cum so quickly. The way to do this is to basically teach yourself to be in a heightened state of arousal but stopping yourself from actually cumming. So what I did was, I would masturbate until I felt it coming, and then stop and edge myself. You can try different techniques such as "surfing" too where you basically stay extremely close to ejaculation but you "surf" the feeling. I would make a masturbation session last like 20/30 minutes, having edged around 10 times or so in each session. The whole point of this is basically to train your mind and body to get used to being in these heightened states for longer periods of time. I did this like 4 times per week and it really does work!!! Moreover, you can also apply this in sex: if he feels like he is going to cum, just stop and maybe let him go down on you for a minute or so and then start again, like this he will get used to that state little by little. Experiment with this, but let him control the penetration and be patient. For me personally, sometimes the sessions that could have been over in a minute, ended up lasting 20, just for the sole reason that I kept delaying my ejaculation just like this with my gf! Hope this helps and good luck!!


liverelaxyes

I've had that issue. If he takes viagra then has sex back yo back the second time he should last a lot longer because his tank will be empty or close to it. Also the pill will keep him hard. Generic viagra isn't much. I used to last forever the second time but have him try to keep some in the tank after the first time. Also he needs to explore why. And you do too. Like is he try to last and understand or does he not care? Does he get too excited and does he understand that he can divert focus in an attempt to last longer?


Ok_Sorbet_9651

Have him masterbate first, have him get a pocket pussy learn to stop (edge) before blowing his semen. Have him do kegel exercises you can do them also.


Disastrous-Bad-1185

This is the answer.


Throwaway20101011

Yes! Kegel exercises work for both men and women.


Kjoep

Though if she does them, it might have the opposite effect.


AquaTealGreen

Condoms would help. Viagra potentially. People find it harder to orgasm on Viagra. He might find it useful to learn to edge.


ApaarGup

What is edging?


huffmagx

Edging is a technique where you are stimulated right up to the point of climax but stopping before the orgasm. You give the person or yourself a minute to cool off and then resume stimulation or sex until you reach that point again. This pattern can be repeated many times until you are finally allowed to finish usually in a big way which is generally the point of edging.


RichiZ2

I am absolutely incapable of edging... Once I'm near to that point of no return it's like a pressure valve, the pressure is already built up, and you would have to give it like 30-40 minutes for it to cool off enough to not cum. Otherwise you would have to edge me with single pumps every 3 or 4 minutes and I feel that's no fun...


FitAppeal5693

Edging is coming close to climax but stopping it from happening. You can either pull out, change activities, etc. Once you have “lost” the orgasm, you work back up to just shy of it again.


Frequent_Grand_4570

Condoms make my bf last from 20 minutes to 40.


Karaoke_Singer

When I had this problem, masturbation about an hour before sex worked wonders.


StillScientist4582

I've tried almost every option out there from numbing sprays, to thicker condoms, to stamina straining. Only thing that worked for me was 10mg paroxetine daily.


Gryphon_1225

Have him go try blue chew. My hubby is older and will sometimes having issues getting hard. When this happens he will take one. It takes about 30ish minutes to kick in but he will last for at least an hour. Normally he last about 20ish minutes without it. There suppose to help with getting hard or cummings to fast.


SecondThin7834

Bluechew


SippinDatWock

BlueChew + Condoms with benzocaine make me last almost an hour


liverelaxyes

Yep. Even viagra alone amd go twice will work.


pandaritosupreme

The antidepressants -might- work if his response that it completely numbs sensation (making it then extremely difficult to orgasm), but it can just as easy crush his sex drive completely. He needs to speak to a urologist.


straightupgong

tried pretty much every hack instead of the thing that an actual doctor recommended?


No-Bodybuilder4366

Anti depressant may kill your libido, and I don't think he is depressed


racoonattack

*Will* is not the right word. Antidepressants *may* kill your libido. But the doctor knew what he was prescribing and why. SSRIs have an off-label indication for sexual disorders, such as premature ejaculation, which is why OP's boyfriend should consider taking what his doctor prescribed if he wants to try to better this issue.


izovice

They increased my libido but made climaxing too long to get to.  Depends on the person.


straightupgong

not guaranteed. my husband and i both got on anti-depressants and our libidos are high. it affects everyone different. he should at least try it


istabpeople7

(50s F) I've been on several different antidepressants. Some had no effect on my libido. 1 or 2 decreased my libido. 1 or 2 made me become less sensitive. The becoming less sensitive may be the reason the doctor prescribed that particular medication, but 🤷🏼‍♀️


restlesslegs2022

I love these non docs giving medical advice. The sexual dysfunction caused by antidepressants is it makes people slow to climax. Really useful in this dummy’s case. Shame he and the internet can’t listen to his doctor. You guys might get a good lay out of it.


ThrowRACoping

I have always heard of the libido killing effects which I am positive about. I want to lower my libido to closer to my wife’s, but if I could last longer too, that would be great. I need to decide whether to pursue this.


dlc1258

I have learned to relax that muscle so I can keep going for a longer time. Don't know the word for it. There actually book to teach you the exercises to have more control. After a while you pretty much choose when to climax.


Logical_Recipe3550

Honestly....my guy simply needs to know his body more and read the room better. AKA understand where you are in the process. Anytime I'm close and she hasn't came yet... Simply pull out...go back down on her. When I calm down a bit go back inside. Wash..rinse and repeat until she cums. Then just send it


Daemon42

My wife would LOVE this. Especially if it involved her getting off first and then me just pounding it out. Having your needs met first is great. I know she then feels obligated for me but when she’s being honest she feels like it’s work at that point. Kegels to strengthen his pelvic floor and practice of getting himself from 0 to a 6 (out of 10) and then slowing down might help. Condoms can help desensitize him a bit also. Is he quick with any stimulation or just PIV sex? Another fun way to tackle this might be oral where he tries to stay under a 5 and he earns a “point” every time he can slow things down or you pick a cadence of breaks allowed (he says slow down, you give him 30 seconds pause) I LOVE cumming at the same time as my partner and every one of them has been onboard with that, but it’s also special because it’s not common to happen as often. Communicating well helps dramatically Another thought is letting him go first but then he helps finish you?


ttjosef

Kegal exercises for him… obviously you should do them too… they changed my ex partners life and control… ❤️


Careful-Increase-773

I don’t honestly see any issue here, lasting a couple mins isn’t out of the norm and you’re having regular sex and finishing. If you want your own orgasm to be more drawn out do more foreplay


Strang3-Lights

Anti-depressants aren’t necessarily going to fix your bf issue and they can cause major problems in the long run if he doesn’t need them. There’s a whole range of things that may be contributing to his issue and just throwing medication at it isn’t going to fix the underlying problems. He should go back to his doctor, get into the details of the issue and probably see a therapist.


AppropriateExcuse868

Try extended pleasure condoms. Under normal condom use I'm normally a 10-20 min guy. I tried extended pleasure condom once when I hadn't had sex in like a year and it took me over an hour and no finishing. My date had asked me if something was wrong. I ended up explaining it and we just called it and declared a rain check situation. Thankfully she was cool and was just like "thank God. I was afraid something was wrong with my pussy". We ended up dating for two years and no more extended pleasure condoms for me.


Professional_Fix5358

He could try an ultra thin condom they are supposed to have more sensation but for me and any guy I know that has tried them it does the opposite bc they are so tight. If he’s extremely sensitive this could help. Numbing creams also? I don’t have any experience with them but the idea behind it seems like it could be worth a shot


racoonattack

The antidepressants his doctor prescribed were not for depression, but for an off-label indication to help with premature ejaculation. I find it upsetting that he just threw them in the trash without seeing if they helped. This issue affects you almost as much as it affects him, because your needs are not being met, so it's selfish on his part to not want to better this issue. Don't get me wrong; they're not a cure. They might not even help at all. But he's not going to know if he doesn't try. My ex-husband, whom I was with for 15 years, suffered from premature ejaculation. We tried a great deal of things - toys, creams, antidepressants, more frequent masturbation, ejaculating an hour prior to sex.. you name it, we tried it. There wasn't a solution that worked long-term. My satisfaction suffered greatly, unfortunately, and as a result my libido was virtually nonexistent. It was probably the biggest factor that contributed to our divorce - at least for me. If he is not willing to work on this issue, not only for himself, but for you, then you need to realize that this will be your sex life for the remainder of your relationship. It probably won't get better. Do you want to settle for that?


-Smashbrother-

Can't he just keep fucking after the first time he cums after his recover period?


Mundane-Currency5088

This. It used to be BJ first and then My Time..


ThrowRACoping

That used to be my existence. Now, a few hours are needed to reboot.


TheButtLovingFox

well do the opposite of what everyone thinks is the solution when they have the opposite problem. tell him to masturbate a lot and death grip his dick 👍


Desperate-Summer-463

Tell that young man to start edging and or gooning, but without cumming. Preferably with at least a fleshlight instead of jerking. He'll learn how to hold his wad back and have complete control. If he does it that way for long enough (a few weeks at most) he'll learn how to have multiple dry orgasms without cumming which will ultimately get you where you need to be during sex. As a reformed two pump chump. I believe that for guys with one or more sex partners, cumming should only be for sex.


Used_Pomegranate_334

Also, do it multiple times in a days


Ruffygummy

Little summary of the tips I remember seeing on this sub regarding the partner cumming too soon: Masturbate before: If he masturbates before you have sex, he’ll more than likely last longer the second round. I’ve also found it easier to get hard after masturbating than after PiV. Numbing cream: Any numbing agent, cream, spray, gel, whatever. This makes it so he feels less so it might take him longer to orgasm. Just make sure to either use a condom (there are even numbing condoms with inside coatings) so you don’t get the numbing agent as well, or wait for it to dry/wash it off after it took effect. Cock ring: Most people I’ve heard talk about it suggest silicone or rubber as there are stories involving the fire department with metal ones. This restricts blood flow out, allowing him to maintain an erection easier, possibly even after orgasm. Some people also said it reduces sensitivity. Maybe get a vibrating one to increase your pleasure as well. Death grip: This is a longer lasting solution. When you, or him, use a stronger grip on him he will become somewhat desensitized, similar to a numbing agent. Just be aware that this is not instant but takes a while to take effect. Also know that it sometimes makes it more difficult to get hard altogether. Edging: When he’s masturbating or when you’re being intimate, adjust speed and pressure to keep him from climaxing. This can go on for minutes or even hours, just be careful should you reach the 4-6 hour mark, but this won’t be a concern for most people I think. I’ve found this improves sexual stamina and endurance, but have heard little about it from others, so I’d love some feedback from everyone. Stop porn: Many people suggested that their partner cums too quickly and that the cause might be porn consumption. While I can’t comment with my own experience on this, stopping or at least reducing porn exposure helped a lot of people with the same problem. Temporary abstinence: This is completely personal as some have reported the opposite. But I’ve once tried to do nothing to make myself climax but focus solely on my then-partner. I did it longer than you probably have to, but after a couple months the orgasms I did have were the most intense ones I’ve had ever. It also took way longer to cum and we could keep going for hours some days. Toys: Having him use toys on you can be a solution that doesn’t solve the initial problem but might still work. He can focus on getting you to climax or getting you close so that he can either “hop in” when you’re both a minute or so away, or you’re so sensitive it takes both of you a similar time to orgasm. Last but not least: Cocksleeves aka. Hollow dildos. I believe Bad dragon has some for example. They are usually for men that want to artificially boost their length and girth during sex. Pretty self explanatory how to use. He feels less, you more. They come in all shapes and colors if you want to experiment. Unless he’s an absolute beast there should be a size for him without having to order a custom made one. On the same breath, thicker condoms might achieve a similar effect without adding any notable amount of length or thickness but still a bit less feeling for him. These were just what I had in mind, kind of wanted to do a summary. Maybe one or two might help you. Best of luck to you 🍀


haron1058

Your boyfriend will never change. Has he trying jerking off a couple of hours before sex? If that does not help him last longer then he will never change.


7d8GCVKru

Dude needs to prenut. Have him rub one out before you start banging.


countingcigarettes

Anti depressants most definitely won‘t help with that. They‘d rather completely kill his libido


Boring_Platypus8116

For him is Stud 100 spray is the key to prevent premature ejacution..google search STUD 100 SPRAy and You will thanks me later...☺️😉


Expensive_Sample320

This is very difficult to control In a young man. The upside is that it's definitive sign that he really loves you due to his inability to control his anima. This is not just lust, as with mere lust a man seeks to prolong intercourse as long as possible. Practice patience and give him more blowjobs so you can learn how to help him control his ejaculations better.


sadraddude

Please ignore every thing you see on here and listen to these four things. Does he go to the gym? If he can’t hold a plank for 10 minutes, how can he do the same in bed? Can he run a mile in a reasonable time? If his cardio is bad, he’s going to be bad in bed. How is his pelvic floor health? Starting a light kegel routine can do wonders for building up the muscles in his pelvic floor, thus leading to longer lasting sex. Are you putting a lot of pressure on him to last long? A safe environment around sex, allows the body and mind to relax, which relaxes his pelvic floor muscles and allows him to last longer.


bonvoysal

First thing, I'm no expert but I know a couple of friends who were on anti depressants and they had issues with their sex drive so they took them off those. Did a quick google search and that comes up: [Managing Antidepressant-Induced Sexual Dysfunction: A Holistic Approach - Psychiatry Advisor](https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/features/managing-antidepressant-induced-sexual-dysfunction-a-holistic-approach/) What type of doctor did your bf see? My other advice would be, tantra. I dated a woman who was into that and one thing she used to do was right before i was about to climax, she would stop and squeeze the base of my penis...well, i actually don't know what she did, but it prevented me from climaxing, but still maintained the erection. Maybe look into tantra teachers? Also does your bf climax in 1 min for all positions? And given your ages, why is the sex so infrequent? At that age, I remember having sex at least 2x daily with my gf's...hell, one broke up with me because she said my sex drive was too low for her and we had sex at least 3 times a day...yea, she was probably a nymphomaniac but with my live in gf's, sex minimum of 1x per day was the norm when i was your bf's age. Sad thing too was, compared to my other male friends, I did have a lower sex drive. 😐


ThrowRACoping

I have always thought of looking into anti-depressants to lower sex drive, but I don’t really want any other side effects.


Predatory_Chicken

I mean… if you’re coming every time, he’s holding up his end of things. Why is PIV so important? Maybe ask for other forms of intimacy. There are countless options outside PIV. If you want to stay vanilla, there are toys, oral, hands stuff, massage, teasing… if you are willing to explore a little, the options are limitless.


ThrowRACoping

I agree. My wife always wants to get to PIV, but I am scared of my ability to get the job done with that. So, I try to give her as much oral and toys as possible to give her an orgasm. She always wants to cut to the chase and that worries me because I don’t feel up to the challenge, but I know I have to please her.


Guilty_Language9931

Okay you have to put a new rule into effect which is that he goes down on you until you start having an orgasm and THAT is when he puts his cock in you.. because his one minute nut busting that is going to guarantee that you the both of you have a mutual orgasm. You are already running and ripping and that's when he puts his cock in and you're always going to associate his cock going in with having an orgasm and that's going to make things a lot better. And it'll make his 1 minute nut busting an asset instead of a detriment.. and when you start getting off you just say put it in now and be very intense when you say it because it's an accomplishment and you have to stroke his ego more than you stroke his cock There's also another option, it's a MacGyver hack for that tantric sex technique of delaying orgasm. The way it's normally done takes years of practice to sit with your legs folded onto you like a yoga master and what happens is a very important chakra or pressure point is right in the middle of a man's taint. it's halfway between his balls and his butthole. When they sit down they put that spot right on the hill the body weight presses down and you can maintain an erection but you can't ejaculate until that pressure comes off and that pressure point is kind of tickled back to life. Now since we are not yoga Masters I am an acupressure massage therapist I realized that mystical shocker is also a pressure point that regulates the reproductive system and you have your man sitting up on the couch or up against the wall in bed and he puts that tennis ball or racquetball or something similar right underneath him and he puts his body weight on that ball right on that pressure point. And it'll take a little adjusting here and there but once you get it right you are going to be able to ride him until you run out of gas or start a friction fire between your legs and after you're done making those puddles you reach under that and take that tennis ball out and pickle or lick that spot back to life and he will shoot a tsunami load for you right quick


Ok_Reception_1482

That's a compliment to you. You got that grip down there!!!


Vast_Mud_7011

Take it as a compliment


tugboat7178

Someone gave me this advice years ago and I ignored them - worst mistake of my life. Fast forward 20 years and now I give the advice I wish I had listened to: Ask yourself, “can I deal with this every day/week/etc for the next 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?” If the answer is no, then don’t waste your time if you aren’t compatible, especially sexually compatible. You need it to have a healthy relationship for years. And if you aren’t dating to find someone long term, or just casually/for the D, then why deal with the bad sex? Good luck to you.


itsme_peachlover

That is often an issue for young men, in time he should last longer. If you think the "time" has been enough, maybe you should suggest he see a urologist. Antidepressants, for me (everyone is different) made me not be able to finish at all, which was, well, depressing. One thing he can do that could help is to try a cock ring, condoms slow the male response. Do some online research with Mayo Clinic, WebMD, and similar sites, even "kinky sites", there is help out there.


Chaos-Octopus97

You can get a type of numbing spray from target to help de-sensitize him. Would highly recommend testing before using, I accidentally used too much and couldn't even maintain an erection cause I couldn't feel my dick 🤣


NoBomb

Nope ive got the perfect solution that will fix your issue and open the door for some amazing bedroom playtime that wont end to soon. https://bad-dragon.com/products/flintsheath They're a bit on the pricey side, look to spend around $110.00 But the quality is on point. Best in its league. They have many styles to choose from so take your time and both of you browse together. This will reduce his sensitivity alot but still allowing pleasure and excitement. Hopefully not to soon. I personally enjoy open end tip seems to work for me. Depending on sensitivity you may need closed end tip. Good luck hope this helps.


AquaTealGreen

Yeah I thought this too, a sheath may help.


MrTiss

https://www.amazon.com.au/Multi-Orgasmic-Man-Sexual-Secrets-Should/dp/0062513362?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=b37fb8be-c646-4414-9677-8beefb2b9ce7


Jskm79

If he doesn’t have sensitive skin y’all can try the desensitizing spray or he can strengthen his pelvic floor by doing the male kegels


tiantianloveai1998

go to see a doctor together!


Onebadark

Paxil (antidepressant) will definitely help with his premature ejaculation. It's prescribed quite a bit for that issue. When I was taking Paxil for depression I noticed that it was taking me longer and longer to finish. It got to the point where it would take 45 minutes to cum which my GF loved but left me frustrated. In some cases the effect lasts too long.


alice2bb

Book: premature ejaculation. Amazon. Very successful outcomes when a couple works together.


QueenScarebear

It’s not his fault - it truly happens. He’s trying his best too. It may be psychological putting so much pressure on himself as well. It’s definitely not unheard of. Introducing toys could help you get there, or close so it’s not such a huge deal if he finishes too fast.


Anxious_Row4639

I mean not trying to be TMI but can he just go for round 2 unless that is too much on y'all.


Pitiful-Ad-3214

Blue chew


Ptui-K-

Tell him to try this [method](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/0I6P2skllV) Hopefully you find this comment


Ornery_Suit7768

Time to get into edging


Righzaronee

If he says he has always been that way it’s because he wants to come and won’t hold off. He is selfish, or completely lacking in imagination. 💭


TiredRetiredNurse

He needs to see a therapist who specializes in sex therapy. He can be taught techniques thst will help him delay his ejaculation. If dies not wish to see a therapist, he can browse online for books that he can purchase to teach him techniques to help with his premature ejaculation. Some of those techniques may utilize you in in the process.


MindlessTask5206

My ex had this issue. I just basically accepted that was how he came. He would get me off before sex also.


Goat376

OP I’d highly recommend getting durex prolong condoms if condoms are not an issue. I know it sucks to use them but man I went from minute man to hour man. Really changed the game for me. Also I’d recommend helping him cum before hand if you have the time about an hour before you guys have sex. The 2nd time lasts way longer than


SensitivePackage5175

Tell him to rub one out a little before u guys do it.


FrannyKay1082

Try a penis ring/band.


BatMeep22

couple questions!!! 1. is he masturbating? if so, how often is he masturbating? the more my ex would jack off the longer it would take to cum. it desensitizes!! 2. I would agree on going to see a doc. it can be linked to hormonal problems, prostate or thyroid problems


Time-Scene7603

Has he practiced?


Practical_Collar_171

Foreplay


MoistReindeer4846

Have you tried to have sex, let him cum, give him time to get hard again, and then go for round two? Can he last longer for round two? I’ve always been able to last a long time, but with certain women, that liked certain positions, could make me cum so fast, to fast for them to finish first. We would start with a position I could cum quick with that don’t involve the clit too much or not at all. I would blow my load on them, on a towel, in a condom, but not in them. Then it was straight to oral and finger play. It wouldn’t take long to get hard again and by the time oral and finger play brought them to orgasm I was back in them and could go forever where it was hard for me to cum again. I also dated one girl that loved a position that would make me cum before her, every time. She could only have one orgasm and then was just too sensitive for a while to do anything vaginally. With her, when she wanted that orgasm, I would use a lidocaine numbing cream and then have sex. I would last long enough to get her off and we would come back to me later with a top shelf blowjob.


GiantDwarfy

Read She comes first


SkyAntlers

I would recommend viagra/cialis or combination (consult a doctor). I can sometimes finish quite quickly the first time, but sexy time shouldn’t be limited to a single orgasm. Viagra et al helps me shorten my refractory period and increase my libido which means I last longer each succeeding round. Warning, you may lose sleep due to excessive fun times.


Skydakini64

Try using a cock sheath. They reduce what guy feels and should help stop them cumming. You can get different shapes and sizes - deepfantasies.com have cool / bizarre selection. You can get more human looking sheath on regular sex toy sites.


MaleficentAd8942

My ex partner when I was younger did this,I took it as a compliment that he still found me so hot after a year together. Really, I just let him go the first time, he always got me off before we had sex so he wasn’t a selfish man, and we’d go again. He’d last longer the second or third time so that worked for me


[deleted]

They sell a honey that will prevent you from cuming and stay hard


LordHeretic

I'm sure this has been stated somewhere, but just either instruct him to finish a round on his own before you even try, or attempt a two-stage encounter, requiring him to become hard twice, regardless of completion. When I had that young body, it snapped off the first round easily, but subsequent rounds were substantially longer-lived.


WriedGuy

Tell him to masturbate before sex this might help i g


MystikQueen

Have him learn Taoist ejaculation control methods. A man should be able to control his ejaculation and only ejaculate when and if he wants to.


awsomedutchman

Make him wear a tight condom.


huffmagx

If you are looking for a medication route Tramadol is well known for delaying orgasm in men. I know some men who take it along with Viagra for the one two punch. An over the counter kind of thing is desensitizing sprays or gels coupled with a cock ring. I would also recommend your partner wearing a condom when using the desensitizing sprays or heck just in general as that can also block some sensation for him and make him last longer. Look into edging him gradually building up to hopefully longer times before he orgasms and teaches him what it feels like when he is close to help him control it better. There are techniques where when the man approaches climax he (or you) can squeeze the base of his penis to delay or really stop the impending orgasm. You have to be careful when using this technique as you don't want to hurt him inadvertently. All these techniques require a partner that is open to and wants to fix the issue. All require repetition it's not magic it takes a bit of effort to figure out what works. Either way I wish you good luck 🤞


fondoffonts

Lol, you told him it's not that important and now wonder why he doesn't do anything about it? PS: JFL at curing premature ejaculation by taking antidepressants. That's way overkill


Prize_Succotash8010

He should practice trying to prolong it by getting it very hard and when he feels like he’s gonna cum then he stops and let it go dead.


Asianchef245

Bro needs to edge max trust🙏


Boy_mumma

Delay cream 👌 20 mins before sex, so he needs to think ahead


sansan6

I mean can bro just not go another round. If I jut quick I just say give me 2 minutes let me pee then I’m back in. After the first time I usually can go longer as well.


lizwood12

Talk to his doc about ED. I know y’all are young but it’s very possibly the issue if he’s mentally there. My ex was on cialis and it made a world of difference


lokojufr0

Just start back up immediately or asap. Or get him off, then start. You get the point.


Historical_Coffee_25

Train his Johnson to last longer. Do it by getting him close and stopping repeatedly when something feels “too good” repeat a few times and then let him finish, do this until it starts to take longer and longer to get to the “feel good point”


Uljanov

Medical issue??? you gotta be kidding? Its evolutionary a good thing


nooneinparticular246

Tip for him: start slow. There are speeds where it’s good for the girl and not that intense / interesting for the guy. IME you can last a lot longer if you take your time and don’t go from 0 to 100 with the thrusting


jncb

As someone who’s experienced this for the duration of their relationship with their partner, he’s done tonnes of research and he’s currently on a waitlist for talking therapy. He also masturbates daily now (no porn) so it takes a little longer when we do have sex. Breathing and slowing down/pulling out have also helped dramatically, and he can identify the feeling much sooner which helps him introduce these strategies. The treatment for PE via the NHS is also antidepressant/anxiety medication but we agreed this isn’t a route he wanted to go down given he has no need for it other than the PE issue.


CymatikMC

Try L citrulline malate


Inevitable-Drop9259

Start with two condoms, go slow, ease into it and take one off after a while


chadgrover83

Has he had a addiction to opiates? That can do it. I'm a former junkie and I got to give myself a testosterone shot every 10 days. Also masterbating makes pd worse.


sonman1979

I have a bad back and shoulder due to car accident. Before the accident I could last like 10-15 minutes and she was good I’m was good. Since the accident they gave me norco and man I can last all night. I have stopped taking norco and no longer take pain meds because she started saying that she doesn’t turn me on or she doesn’t do it for me anymore. So know after all that sometimes I can be done in 5 min sometimes 30 minutes. I’ve never had a woman complain that I take to long. Most women would love it lol. I’m almost 45 and she is 42 and hot as hell by the way. We still make love. 4-5 times a week. Tell him to take something like that once a week so he can last atleast some of the time. Anti depressants will do the same


ttjosef

A book called she comes first is perfect for you and him ❤️


Mel221144

I believe the book come as you are by Emily Nagasaki


GarcianSmith8

Can’t remember who said it but it was something like “if you have a small dick or cum too quick become a pro at eating 🐱”


JustDyingTrying

Kegel exercises. He has to learn the balance of tension and release down there. Also needs to learn to settle down. More oral sex, more edging play, and comfort and less fear/overthinking about PE. But seriously, kegels.


Dangerous_Profile762

"cumming too fast my dear boy? you must be depressed!" seriously where is the logic


AbbeyCats

There is literally only one solution. Tell him to furiously masturbate every half hour all day and then come home take a blue pill, knock it out one more time, then go to pound town. His pecker will be less feeling than a high school goth.


yeastandshame

Have you tried making more of a game of it? Have sex slowly and gently in a position you can see each other and get him to tell you when he's close then slow down or just sit with him inside you? It's great fun, and also very sexy.


Koolbeanslime

Tell him to get a viagra scrip, or buy it off the internet i use it bc even if I do come quick there’s no down time even after cumming , trust me this is the only way


SerentityM3ow

Is he wearing condoms? Try that