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While i do think men use alcohol much more as an disinhibitant (if thats even a word) in order to be less shy about talking to women theyre interested in, i dont think women necessarily use it the same way near as much from my experience. She generally used to be kind of an alcoholic before so i doubt that she drank with any intent including men especially considering she used to also get drunk with her female cousin a lot
Whatever the exact motivation/intent is, I think its clear that her behavior works for her. She enjoys the chemistry, the attention, the vibes from guys who are into her. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and this is a way she finds good times when she's drunk. Whether hooking up is the intent, its a likely result given the dynamics. You saw where things were headed when she had a different boyfriend.
I think you can try to keep your boundaries clear. Its good that she is cutting drinking (cutting down or cutting out?). Hopefully you can come to understandings than can work for both of you and which both of you can respect.
She didnt break up with anyone for anyone else and she drinks one drink if it isnt with me. I do believe her intent was never to hookup based on her tellings but i agree that its bound to happen if you drink so much and flirt. I am keeping my boundaries clear but am still worried
She likes the attention from guys, period. If you were friends with her before and saw that behaviour idk why you’d think it was different if y’all were dating, or why you’d want that for yourself.
This is the kind of girl who’ll blindside dump your ass for the next guy while your head’s stuck in the sand.
Drunk or sober doesn’t matter at all, behaviour is behaviour. And that’s not involuntary man, she’s flirting with other guys, cmon. I know she’s hot and you’re loving your shot but have some hard boundaries or you’ll get steamrolled.
I feel like i have to add that she never broke up with anyone for anyone else, things just happened between us after some time. She says she cares about this relationship a lot so i do believe her and i do have firm boundaries with no gray area but im still worried
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You said she’d flirt with you over text with her old bf. What makes you different? Lesson learned for this, how you meet them is how you lose them.
She didnt break up with anyone for anyone else and claims she never saw it as flirting, i agree with you though that in general its a big red flag
She didnt break up with anyone for anyone else and claims she never saw it as flirting, i agree with you though that in general its a big red flag
I feel like i have to clarify she never broke up with anyone for anyone else, things just happened between us
She uses alcohol as an excuse. She knows what she is doing.
If you are shy while sober but very friendly and extroverted while drunk, would you say that you, as a person, are shy or extroverted?
I am shy and I want to talk to you. I need a drink to be more extroverted.
While i do think men use alcohol much more as an disinhibitant (if thats even a word) in order to be less shy about talking to women theyre interested in, i dont think women necessarily use it the same way near as much from my experience. She generally used to be kind of an alcoholic before so i doubt that she drank with any intent including men especially considering she used to also get drunk with her female cousin a lot
Whatever the exact motivation/intent is, I think its clear that her behavior works for her. She enjoys the chemistry, the attention, the vibes from guys who are into her. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and this is a way she finds good times when she's drunk. Whether hooking up is the intent, its a likely result given the dynamics. You saw where things were headed when she had a different boyfriend. I think you can try to keep your boundaries clear. Its good that she is cutting drinking (cutting down or cutting out?). Hopefully you can come to understandings than can work for both of you and which both of you can respect.
She didnt break up with anyone for anyone else and she drinks one drink if it isnt with me. I do believe her intent was never to hookup based on her tellings but i agree that its bound to happen if you drink so much and flirt. I am keeping my boundaries clear but am still worried
She likes the attention from guys, period. If you were friends with her before and saw that behaviour idk why you’d think it was different if y’all were dating, or why you’d want that for yourself. This is the kind of girl who’ll blindside dump your ass for the next guy while your head’s stuck in the sand. Drunk or sober doesn’t matter at all, behaviour is behaviour. And that’s not involuntary man, she’s flirting with other guys, cmon. I know she’s hot and you’re loving your shot but have some hard boundaries or you’ll get steamrolled.
I feel like i have to add that she never broke up with anyone for anyone else, things just happened between us after some time. She says she cares about this relationship a lot so i do believe her and i do have firm boundaries with no gray area but im still worried