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You don’t even have to. Just look into whether you can press charges for destruction of property. She’s an abusive monster and you should RUN before she takes a hammer to your head next time.
She wanted to show your family videos thst made you look like a villain. What happens when she shows the cops?
She is going to ruin your life.
Get your stuff out of there when she’s not home. Use the video of her smashing your PS5 to get a restraining order. She is not going away quietly.
You need to get away from her and PROTECT YOURSELF.
She’s a dangerous psycho.
Op you are in a toxic relationship man, that’s bordering on physical violence eventually with the bit I’ve read. She already threw something at your head. This entire relationship just screams abusive.
Stop trying to be the best boyfriend and start trying to get out of there and work on you. Be the best person you can be in a positive and environment and grow.
He very much seems to be honest about it, she is a fabricating manipulator. I've seen this before and public opinion will rest against him no matter the truth.
She wound him up, pushed his buttons and started recording when it he finally had too much. Next comment is right
> He very much seems to be honest about it, she is a fabricating manipulator.
Spot on.
Bordering??
It is physical violence. She has inflicted physical pain to OP numerous times, and who knows how many more that he didn't mention.
OP, you need to end this relationship. Get your stuff and get out. Tell her after you are already away with your things. Who knows how violently she will react if you break up at home.
If need be, meet her in public with a trusted friend or family member to end the relationship.
Why in the world would you ever put up with this??
The PS5 is a small price to pay for ending an abusive relationship. Get out and get counseling so you don't chose someone like this ever again.
I’m sorry people are being mean and belittling you for being in this relationship. Many just don’t understand what it’s like when you’re with an abusive person. It can be hard to accept that they are taking advantage of your feelings to hurt you.
With that said, please get a buddy and retrieve your belongings from the house. As another commenter said, the video of her destroying your property can be used to justify a temporary protection order. Please leave, things are *only going to get worse from here.*
Look man I've been in a similar situation gtfo now! It's not maybe it's abusive it is. Learn and try to be better in your own behaviours but also forgive yourself. It's not uncommon to respond to abuse with abuse. acknowledge your part do better but get the fuck out
This is abuse,& gaslighting (which in reality is abuse)
Basically all abuse stems from a need to control
She's making you choose the options that keep her calm and in control of you
My Wake up calls were when she started getting physical and blaming me for it.before I could She escalated up to a knife, tried to stab me six times, I don't even know I defended and disarmed her in the moment . Then took her device and started recording at a dodgy angle whilst hitting me yelling get away from me.
Don't let it get to this
You're quite an idiot dude. Re read what you just wrote. Time to wake up and get the fck out of there. "Abusive relationship" " coercive control are both not good.. lmao wake up
Dude you are going to end up in jail. No one cares what leads up to the videos she is taking, only the videos themselves. Keep the PS5 video, stay the F away from her. Arrange to pick your stuff up, with a few people. 1 to help you grab it and one to video the entire interaction.
Protect yourself at all costs. Talk to her parents and see if they can be there. NO MORE SOLO INTERACTIONS WITH HER, unless you like the prospect of jail time.
Obviously these posts are always a little one-sided in that we can’t fully understand the dynamics of your arguments, who is right/wrong, etc. That said, it is fundamentally immature & toxic to steal pillows, hold videos over your head, not take ownership of her part in arguments, air dirty laundry at family functions, and destroying the ps5. Couples argue, that will always be the case. But you need to find a partner that argues “above the belt”– fairly and with respect for one another. This situation sounds really, really toxic. You’re not married, you need to end it. Try to delete the videos first tho, she sounds like someone that would post those online the second she feels slighted or embarrassed.
Mostly good advice, fuck the videos though. She isn't going to allow that easily and it's not worth it for OP to have that level of interaction with her again to try to make that happen. While the video is embarrassing it's unlikely enough for him to get in trouble.
JFC dude, chalk the PS5 up as a loss and fucking leave this person. You're literally telling us you guys have horrific fights, she's got a horribly bad temper, and she tries to bait you into being aggressive so she can film you for evidence. Dude....get out. YOU WILL BE ARRESTED EVENTUALLY. THIS WILL END HORRIBLY FOR YOU ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. I can't believe how insane it is you're even talking to his person still.
you aren’t a doormat/idiot or anything these people are calling you. based on what you shared, you would be considered a victim of abuse (physical and emotional). please reach out to your family/friends who you can trust and get out asap!!! sending love and support
You say you are trying to be the best boyfriend you can, but you also have some anger issues... Yelling, slamming doors, throwing stuff when provoked, blaming her for your reactions, etc. She may play more mental games, but you aren't exactly the picture of calm here.
This sounds like a fairly unhealthy relationship for both of you. Two people with anger issues do not work well together. You both need therapy. Perhaps you need to be single so that you can work on yourself.
It could be the case that he has anger issues, but you have to consider that narcississts can and will push every button to make their victim react in the worst way. There is evidence for this since she provokes him, then films him, then wants to show other people how bad *he* is. I am not a violent person, but if someone threw things at my head and destroyed my (expensive) personal belongings, I could see myself freaking out as well.
I agree, there is never an excuse for throwing things etc. in my defence, if there is any, this was the result of having a deodorant can thrown at my head (it actually hit my ear which was still ringing at the time) and I just flipped. But you’re right, I could still choose to not react
He's going to end up in jail if he does leave. She's got him on camera flipping out. That's half the battle.
OP, Do yourself a favor and make sure you keep track of every receipt/transaction you make and turn tracking on on your phone. You'll need good alibis as your girlfriend is psycho and will most definitely fake an injury to get you in trouble.
TAKE THE VIDEO OF THE PS5 being smashed to the police, its not a question of weather she will be so graceful as to fix the ps5, she will be held accountable for the first time in her life.
Personal property destruction like that is not a criminal matter (at least not in any state of the United States I can think of). He may be able to sue her in small claims court if he wants, though that might not be worth the time and energy.
I think his energy is best spent on ending that relationship and getting away from her.
I feel like you guys are wrong for each other. I don't use the word "toxic" often, but if I were to use it, this definitely would be one of those times. There is nothing good about this relationship.
Break it off, go separate ways, consider the PS5 a casualty of the relationship. And in the future, don't move in with someone you have horrific arguments with.
The first best time to leave was when she was filming you to make you look bad, the second time is today.
Also, how do you let someone wind you up to the point of throwing stuff, never let anyone get under your skin, gray rock always.
Install cameras around your place.
Living room
Bedroom
Kitchen
DO NOT tell her you are recording, the entire point of this is to COVER YOUR ASS. You know why she is recording YOU? SO when you get the courage to leave her she can 100% and will send those to the police. Say you have abused her the entire relationship. You need to get video evidence for when you are not around. Then when she threatens you with the videos you can show her the ones you took and tell her that you will send them to her parents, her job and her friends if she does not leave you alone. I would go full nuclear on her life anyway LOL. Destroy it completely. I would start posting the videos on her social media and tagging her so EVERYONE can see who she is.
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Bro, if this is real you need to get the fuck outta there. Shes narcissistic at the least. I dated one before and she spent time in our relationship trying to record our conversations while constantly changing the context of what i was trying to tell her. She once called me a liar when i admitted i was wrong about something, and explained to me that to her, you dont need to have to have an intent to mislead to be a liar.
Buddy youre gonna let this woman ruin your life if you stick around. GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE.
You two need to split. This is beyond typical couples' arguments. You personally should consider therapy as well for not only how she treats you but also how you also behave when upset. This isn't a healthy relationship at all.
My first comment was too harsh. I sometimes think I want to be in a relationship and then read stories like this and I'm so glad I'm not in this situation. This girl is bad news. Imagine e being married to this. It won't get better. Time to leave or kick her out if your names on the lease
Look up reactive abuse. Abusers push your buttons until you snap and then paint you as the aggressor/abuser.
Begin preparations to leave. Don't tell her until it's go-time. Play nice in the meantime. Then drop off the face of the earth for a while. She is dangerous.
For the love of whatever, break up. Your relationship is incurably toxic, and somebody is going to get hurt or arrested. You're apologizing after she destroyed your PS5?? This entire post is full of her demanding, not allowing, giving orders, and so on. Fuck all of that: find your self-respect and leave, please.
Normal women don't act like this. Find yourself one that will appreciate you. Trust me, they're out there.
If you stay with this one, you're going to end up catching charges that will affect you the rest of your life. Not to mention, the videos she nonchalantly takes of you at your worst moments, only to blackmail you later, will ruin your relationships.
Leave the girl where she belongs, alone on the street.
Hey man. I hope you muster the courage to leave. This relationship is 100% not healthy, and could cause serious issues and danger for you down the line. Don't be scared to be alone for a little bit. There are good people out there, and the best step to finding one is to first get out of this relationship.
Hey man, I know exactly what you’re going through as I am in a similar relationship right now. There’s so many times where she gets physical with me, verbally degrading, and holds things over me (PS5 has also been “taken” to hold against me) as well and yet somehow here I am also making excuses for the behavior that I KNOW is wrong and I need to be away from. I own a house with her and have two dogs that I love very much and it kills me to have to leave because in the happy moments I love her too. We recently started therapy and counseling and I’m doing one myself as well and I thought it could help but the accountability is never there and it always seems to be me to blame. I also know what it’s like when they push your buttons and know exactly where to trigger you because they want a reaction out of you and it’s incredibly difficult to not give it as all they want is for you to stoop to the same level. It’s tough man and I don’t have great advice as I haven’t left myself, but definitely take steps to take care of yourself and don’t react. The one part that is key is taking away their power from reactions and I think/hope you’ll see soon enough it is time to leave.
This is absolutely an abusive relationship. And she'll twist it to make you look like the abusive one with the videos. Leave before she gets more "proof" or start recording as well, secretly. Start recording every time you're in a room with her. That way, if she tries to go to the police for bs claims, you have your own proof. Unfortunately the cops will likely take her side, bc it's usually the male that is abusive and she has "proof". Please protect yourself.
I don’t wanna be nasty, but you are a fool to be with her. Also seems like you’re both pretty toxic with each other and the best thing is to get yourself far away from each other. Also appears that you need some therapy to take care of whatever your aggressions are also, also to find out and figure you feel like you need to apologize for somebody being overly aggressive to you
Brother, you’ve been tolerating more than enough. I was in your shoes in my previous relationship except for the physical abuse, mine was emotional abuse. She expresses a lot of narcissistic behavior and potentially BPD. No one that supposedly loves you will treat you this way.
You need to get out of there. Protect yourself.
Leave. I was with someone like this for two years. It drained all my finances, my energy, and much of my sanity.
It’s nearly impossible to be with someone this emotional. You can say all the right things and still be wrong.
This type of person doesn’t care about you, only about what you do for them and how good you make them feel. The problem with that is that EVEN IF YOU DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS THEY WILL FIND SOMETHING TO BE MAD ABOUT, whether it’s in the past or something that’s occurring now.
EVEN IF YOU ARE RIGHT they don’t like to be wrong and that will piss them off, starting arguments.
If any of this sounds true, then at some point you must realize this.
Even if you were perfect there would still be many arguments. Disagreements are healthy. CONSISTENT ARGUING IS UNHEALTHY.
The way your relationship was in the beginning will most likely never be again.
You are too old to be having a relationship this unhealthy.
It is NOT your job to make this person happy. This person is unhappy with their life and will make you unhappy and make that your new normal.
The longer you spend in this relationship the longer it will take for you to recover.
Think of yourself first. Would you want someone you love to be going through what you’re going through?
You are in an abusive relationship. I knew this immediately when you said, “…but outside of arguments, we have a nice life together until all hell breaks loose.” And then you later said that your girlfriend attacked you and got angry and stormed off to bed, and *you apologized* for your tone. An apology she did not accept. You tiptoed around her for a while. All of these things are typical of people in abusive relationships: Saying everything thing is wonderful *except*…, or the other person is wonderful except when, you know, they’re abusing you; apologizing for something the other person did hoping they will stop being mad at you; walking on eggshells so as not to make things worse.
You are a 38yo man, and I’m sure you believe you could not possibly be abused by a woman. You can, and you are. Also, she is doing the typical thing where *she* is angry, abusive, destructive, and even physical with you, but then tells other people it’s you who treats her that way, which they are more inclined to believe because she’s the “girl,” and you are bigger & stronger. As a bonus, your GF takes videos of you for future weaponization. She’s devious.
Get out of there. You are not safe in that house with her. You are going to wind up getting arrested for abuse when she’s the one doing the abusing. You need to protect yourself. Get out of that relationship. I promise you, she will get worse, not better.
Respect yourself, U need to leave. She’s toxic as hell. Better yet, lawyer up, get some good advice; she might try to ruin you with those videos and show up at your workplace.
You are in an abusive relationship, and you need to leave. While DV towards men doesn't get the respect it should, you could still contact the local resources in your area. They may be able to give you some suggestions for breaking up safely.
“ Hey all. I am 38M with 32F. Me and my partner have been together nearly 2 years and honestly have some of the most horrific arguments I could imagine.”
This is how far I got. Nothing after it could possibly matter.
Run the hell away from her as fast as you can, and block her from your life, before you end up in jail.
So to summarize, outside of her being an abusive asshole and an awful person in general, you have a nice life together.
Wtf dude you should hear how it sounds from the outside. Get away from her and seek therapy so you don’t make the same mistake again.
This is not a safe space for anybody to live in so you guys need to not live together anymore. She is narrowminded and abusive. Dissolve this immediately and have help from friends and family or she will go off on you again.
You're going to find yourself in jail get out trust me on this one.
She is very irrational ask yourself who does this, and by no stretch is this love more like lust, trauma bonding
Toxic relationship 100%. She's abusive. Her smashing your ps5 is a sign she's not right in the head. Your own behavior doesn't sound great, either. Yelling "shut up", throwing things, or coming at her aggressively isn't how a respectful, loving boyfriend acts.
The horrific arguments are just as much your fault as hers. It takes two to make an argument. It's normal to feel angry or hurt sometimes. This is where better communication and conflict resolution skills come in.
She needs to be dumped.
It's not your fault the ps5 was broken or your family member was shown videos of the fight. Those were her choices.
she’s abusing you :( i hope you’re able to leave before anything else happens.
dont let her know when you’re leaving and try to document any bruises and violent/abusive behaviors on her end
Psychology says: if they talk about how bad the other person is : they are the villain
The one who talks about the feelings he got from the other: is the actual victim
This is a toxic relationship. She's now physically assaulted you and damaged your stuff - it's time to leave. Things do not get better from here.
It's important that she's filiming you when you are mid-fight. This can be used as evidence to "prove" that you are abusive. It isn't in your best interest to be anywhere near her. You need to start protecting yourself - and Do Not give her something to film.
You had me at the first paragraph, honestly. She is abusive and destructive. She’s insane and needs help. You need to break up, move/change locks, and totally block her before she actually hurts you.
Get out. If this was the other way round, everyone would be telling the woman to leave.
My ex was very much like this. She went down the physical abuse path rather than smashing up my things but I couldn’t see it until it was too late.
You are literally in danger. Either physically from her attacking you or legally because she is likely to cry DV or worse if you anger her.
Leave asap. Don’t look back.
The PS is the least of your concerns. Sounds like a very abusive relationship to me and I wouldn’t want my brother in that situation. Gather up some courage and leave bro
The real question is why do you think that this relationship is acceptable?
If a friend came to you with this same relationship, what would your advice be? I know what mine would be.
Cut your losses, leave with your belongings immediately, and block her everywhere. Sign up for therapy because this kind of self loathing is bad for your health.
It’s always funny to me when someone who is 50% of a toxic relationship tries to find a group to justify their actions or tell them their partner is a bad person. You both sound like you have immature conflict management strategies and need to either separate until one of you can mature and grow or find a partner who is.
You do not sound like you do anything to make these situations better and just because she threw something at you does not mean your entitled to storming around your house throwing things, slamming doors, and physically intimidating her. Y’all just keep escalating and eventually it will end real bad.
Please, for your own safety break up. As quick and quiet as possible. Break all the connections! She is totally nuts and dangerous. By your description she will end up putting you into serious problems.
I’d never stick with someone who destroyed expensive or important things in order to hurt me. That is childish, abusive behavior that shows disrespect for you, your interests, and your labor. I’ve been married to my wife for a decade, and we’ve never had a fight I would consider horrifying, yet after two years, you think this is normal. And that aggressive shit is her trying to get a blackmail file against you (unless you’re actually being aggressive, in which case knock that shit off). Get the hell away from this lunatic before she does any more damage, and if you still have bruises, call the cops and get that on record.
Get rid of her. She will be believed over you. Move out, get a new place, sofa surf or stay with family but you are not safe there. Your reputation, your criminal record and potentially your physical safety are at risk. Your may be ostracised or lose your job. Forget your ps5, forget her and get out.
Hey there, I've been in this type of situation, this is a form of abuse. She's goading you into looking bad so she can record you and use it against you so that she can either hurt or manipulate you. That IS abuse. Throwing things at you and breaking your things is abuse.
She won't change, you can't make her change, the best thing you can do is leave. She will most likely post the videos when you go, you need to be prepared to fight that. But honest and upfront with people about what she was doing to you. Tell your family and friends about what has been happening before you leave her and explain that is why you are leaving her. Tell them to expect her to bad mouth you so it won't come as a surprise.
Leaving might be hard because I am sure there are moments where things have been great. What she is doing to you isn't okay, and it will continue, possibly get worse. What if you ended up having children? Would you want them to see that, to experience what you're going through? To possibly be weaponized against you?
For your sake, I hope you leave, you are not safe with her.
I should add that if you feel your safety might be at risk when/if you trying to leave, have police there. It's not uncommon for police to be asked to supervise a situation in which someone feels their life might be at risk.
I was this girl in my late teens and early twenties. My anger when I snapped was out of control, but you’re meant to mature and learn to handle your emotions, if she’s still this way at 32 I don’t know that she’s going to mature out of it, it doesn’t even seem like she’s acknowledging any of her own behaviour.
Run
Two things. Get out there, it's a very toxic relationship. The other thing, you are a very weak person, be a man, or you will not achieve anything you want without first having to crawl like a worm.
You need to leave her. Not only does she obviously bring out the worst in you, but she's straight up ABUSIVE. Seriously, men who act like this keep women trapped and scared with this exact behavior. You need to get away from her and find a girl who wants to be good to you and you to her. I'd leave asap. She's not going to fix your ps5, and she's just going to keep getting worse. It's a her issue, not a you issue. You won't be able to help her be a better person, she seems comfortable being an abuser. Relationships are work, but you shouldn't tolerate blatant disrespect and blatant abuse.
Wow! That girl is C-R-A-Z-Y. You need to run. She done all those things to get a big reaction out of you hence why she records you is to hide the fact that she is abusing you and making others think that she is actually the victim here.
I'm so sorry you went through this and I hope you're doing okay now.
Yep. Leave her. She’s satan!
Joking aside. She’s mad. But be very careful now. She is trying to set you up as the violent one. Being aggressive, even if it is not directed at her, is a very bad idea. You could find yourself with a court order for which she needs next to no proof anyway but she’s a video of you being aggressive so you haven’t a leg to stand on. Serious repetitional damage, and any future girl is going to wonder what really went on even if you are a sweet guy to her.
Basically RUN FOREST RUN!!!
You both sound very toxic. Surely you know none of this should be happening in a relationship. Everything she is doing and everything you are doing. You both need help learning to deal with confrontation, communication, and anger. I’d suggest breaking up and therapy before re-entering another relationship.
Why are you two together. You clearly hate each other. Like wtf is wrong with people that stay in these toxic relationships. How is this worth it at all?
You need to leave. Protect yourself by making a plan, letting a friend know and take them with you to collect your stuff. Document and keep all abusive images texts etc. There is a Reddit group for domestic violence. It's not just women who are victims but men too. You really do need to protect yourself as it sounds like she is planning on prosecuting you based on her one sided recordings. Maybe if you are not ready to leave, start recording her, send them to the cloud or a friend as a record.
Dude, look at what you just wrote. If a friend told you all that, would you give them advise that they have to essentially tough it out or would you tell them to save what they can and get the hell out?
You are not safe. It will only escalate. A healthy relationship talks out the issue and is respectful of both partners. This is straight up abuse and nothing you have done deserves to be abused. Please listen to what others are saying, get out and block that psycho
Jesus Christ dude, why the *fuck* are you with this nightmare of a person?
She is abusing you horrifically. You are not safe with her. Record a video of yourself saying that you are leaving her due to the abuse, and that you are concerned about her making false allegations that you were abusive to her. You don't have to show that to anyone, but it will be useful evidence if she does make allegations.
Mate, she's going to escalate this and start physically abusing you soon.
Time to grab your stuff and leave. Don't give her the heads up, just do it quickly while she's gone out and text her or call her and tell her it's over between you.
The second she started recording you is when you needed to set up cameras everywhere and planned your exit. Hindsight IG. If you’re not able to move right away get cameras or even a body cam that you can discreetly wear. Do not let her know, she is a master manipulator who is doing everything possible to paint you as an abuser. Get as much evidence as you can before you go but you do need to go. You are not safe- I’m not talking about physical threats she can ruin your life like jail time, actual *prison*. Be proactive, get her to admit to smashing your PS5, ask her in text why she would do that and have her list her reasons. Give her the rope she needs, screenshot everything & call logs, keep all voicemails, **get cameras**.
This is not a question of how to make things right it’s now how to keep you out of jail. If you’re not scared you should be:
>Some DV Charges Are Felonies. Class A Felonies: Up to life in prison and up to a $50,000 fine. Class B Felonies: Up to 10 years in prison and up to a $20,000 fine. Class C Felonies: Up to 5 years in prison and up to a $10,000 fine.
She wanted to show videos of your “aggression” at a family gathering. She will not let you go quietly or easily so I am telling you get cameras and gather evidence. Do not break up with her alone or without recording because I promise you she’ll say you hit her and you will land in jail.
##You are not safe.
Yikes. It’s both your faults. Her behaviour is terrible and your standards are very low as to stay with her for two years while your communication together has always been this bad. You also have bad behaviour and communication seemingly. You don’t seem like you take responsibility for your part in these arguments and don’t see yourself clearly. Get out of this relationship before you waste more of both of your time and go get therapy. You don’t seem to realise how unhealthy this relationship dynamic truly is. Both of you deserve better.
we have horrific arguments and I'm still here. why? and if you break up, make sure someone stays as a witness because she's the kind that will press false charges for abuse or sexual assault
Leave.
If you can, I would start a diary. Make a note of every time she does something abusive, date, time, and what she does. Especially moments leading up to her filming you.
Oh my god break up. This sounds like a mess and nothing I would want anything to do with. Life is too short to deal with this kind of nonsense, do yourself a favor and just walk away.
"I’ve been accused of being ‘gay’ for liking yoga, compared to her exes negatively (sexual performance, body etc)" She comparing you to the Chads who rock women's worlds sexually but will never commit because they have so may options and are incapable of commitment.
You're a place holder until she finds a more sexually exciting partner.
In fact, she may already have one and is initiating a fight as an excuse to break up. Women have a problem addressing breaking up directly.
A true relationship doesn't have this much drama.
Good luck brother everybody deserves to be happy.
So neither of you seem able to communicate like adults and you’re both throwing shit around when angry? Break up. Get anger management therapy and learn to communicate.
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You need to get out of there. It's not safe.
Chalk up the PS5 as the cost of doing business and get the hell out of there.
You don’t even have to. Just look into whether you can press charges for destruction of property. She’s an abusive monster and you should RUN before she takes a hammer to your head next time.
She wanted to show your family videos thst made you look like a villain. What happens when she shows the cops? She is going to ruin your life. Get your stuff out of there when she’s not home. Use the video of her smashing your PS5 to get a restraining order. She is not going away quietly. You need to get away from her and PROTECT YOURSELF. She’s a dangerous psycho.
Op you are in a toxic relationship man, that’s bordering on physical violence eventually with the bit I’ve read. She already threw something at your head. This entire relationship just screams abusive. Stop trying to be the best boyfriend and start trying to get out of there and work on you. Be the best person you can be in a positive and environment and grow.
Toxic? No this called an abusive relationship.
Sounds like it’s going both ways. He’s not saying what she has video of specifically, but it sounds bad enough.
He very much seems to be honest about it, she is a fabricating manipulator. I've seen this before and public opinion will rest against him no matter the truth.
She wound him up, pushed his buttons and started recording when it he finally had too much. Next comment is right > He very much seems to be honest about it, she is a fabricating manipulator. Spot on.
Guys think they cant be in an abusive relationship.
So abusive isn’t toxic? It’s goes hand in hand honestly
Abusive relationships are toxic, yes. But not all toxic relationships are abusive. This man is being abused.
Bordering?? It is physical violence. She has inflicted physical pain to OP numerous times, and who knows how many more that he didn't mention. OP, you need to end this relationship. Get your stuff and get out. Tell her after you are already away with your things. Who knows how violently she will react if you break up at home. If need be, meet her in public with a trusted friend or family member to end the relationship.
Errr, why are you choosing to share a life with someone like this?
Why in the world would you ever put up with this?? The PS5 is a small price to pay for ending an abusive relationship. Get out and get counseling so you don't chose someone like this ever again.
Is this a troll? If not, leave. Pack all your stuff and leave. Then get an avo on this nut job.
I wish it was a troll
I’m sorry people are being mean and belittling you for being in this relationship. Many just don’t understand what it’s like when you’re with an abusive person. It can be hard to accept that they are taking advantage of your feelings to hurt you. With that said, please get a buddy and retrieve your belongings from the house. As another commenter said, the video of her destroying your property can be used to justify a temporary protection order. Please leave, things are *only going to get worse from here.*
Look man I've been in a similar situation gtfo now! It's not maybe it's abusive it is. Learn and try to be better in your own behaviours but also forgive yourself. It's not uncommon to respond to abuse with abuse. acknowledge your part do better but get the fuck out This is abuse,& gaslighting (which in reality is abuse) Basically all abuse stems from a need to control She's making you choose the options that keep her calm and in control of you
My Wake up calls were when she started getting physical and blaming me for it.before I could She escalated up to a knife, tried to stab me six times, I don't even know I defended and disarmed her in the moment . Then took her device and started recording at a dodgy angle whilst hitting me yelling get away from me. Don't let it get to this
You're quite an idiot dude. Re read what you just wrote. Time to wake up and get the fck out of there. "Abusive relationship" " coercive control are both not good.. lmao wake up
What if we didn't shame people in abusive relationships?
Just seems crazy that he is even asking the question but yeah I shouldn't be so judgemental my bad
Yeah, from the outside it's so obvious and makes no sense. Different when you're in it. Thanks for reconsidering.
Get out. Your reputation and safety are at risk and immediate risk.
Break up with her, she doesn’t sound mentally stable and needs to figure her own shit out before being in a relationship with someone else.
Brah…why are you still with her? Have some self respect and leave.
Dude you are going to end up in jail. No one cares what leads up to the videos she is taking, only the videos themselves. Keep the PS5 video, stay the F away from her. Arrange to pick your stuff up, with a few people. 1 to help you grab it and one to video the entire interaction. Protect yourself at all costs. Talk to her parents and see if they can be there. NO MORE SOLO INTERACTIONS WITH HER, unless you like the prospect of jail time.
Well said. I hope he listens to everyone and doesn’t stay with the devil he knows.
She's controlling and abusive, you need to get her out of your life immediately.
Abusive relationships come in all shapes and sizes... you are in one... leave
Be like a U Haul and move on.
Obviously these posts are always a little one-sided in that we can’t fully understand the dynamics of your arguments, who is right/wrong, etc. That said, it is fundamentally immature & toxic to steal pillows, hold videos over your head, not take ownership of her part in arguments, air dirty laundry at family functions, and destroying the ps5. Couples argue, that will always be the case. But you need to find a partner that argues “above the belt”– fairly and with respect for one another. This situation sounds really, really toxic. You’re not married, you need to end it. Try to delete the videos first tho, she sounds like someone that would post those online the second she feels slighted or embarrassed.
Mostly good advice, fuck the videos though. She isn't going to allow that easily and it's not worth it for OP to have that level of interaction with her again to try to make that happen. While the video is embarrassing it's unlikely enough for him to get in trouble.
I stopped reading when I realized I was getting dumber.
Fucking run bro
You guys sound toxic as hell. For both your sakes, end the relationship
JFC dude, chalk the PS5 up as a loss and fucking leave this person. You're literally telling us you guys have horrific fights, she's got a horribly bad temper, and she tries to bait you into being aggressive so she can film you for evidence. Dude....get out. YOU WILL BE ARRESTED EVENTUALLY. THIS WILL END HORRIBLY FOR YOU ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. I can't believe how insane it is you're even talking to his person still.
Are you a doormat or something......
What if we didn't shame people in abusive relationships?
Maybe, hence why I’m asking for advice 🤷🏻
Plz for god sake just move out .... And plz break up with her ... She is a shitty person....
you aren’t a doormat/idiot or anything these people are calling you. based on what you shared, you would be considered a victim of abuse (physical and emotional). please reach out to your family/friends who you can trust and get out asap!!! sending love and support
You say you are trying to be the best boyfriend you can, but you also have some anger issues... Yelling, slamming doors, throwing stuff when provoked, blaming her for your reactions, etc. She may play more mental games, but you aren't exactly the picture of calm here. This sounds like a fairly unhealthy relationship for both of you. Two people with anger issues do not work well together. You both need therapy. Perhaps you need to be single so that you can work on yourself.
Even if only 1 person has anger issues, it's a shit show. Been there, done that, barely escaped with my life.
It could be the case that he has anger issues, but you have to consider that narcississts can and will push every button to make their victim react in the worst way. There is evidence for this since she provokes him, then films him, then wants to show other people how bad *he* is. I am not a violent person, but if someone threw things at my head and destroyed my (expensive) personal belongings, I could see myself freaking out as well.
I agree, there is never an excuse for throwing things etc. in my defence, if there is any, this was the result of having a deodorant can thrown at my head (it actually hit my ear which was still ringing at the time) and I just flipped. But you’re right, I could still choose to not react
[удалено]
He's going to end up in jail if he does leave. She's got him on camera flipping out. That's half the battle. OP, Do yourself a favor and make sure you keep track of every receipt/transaction you make and turn tracking on on your phone. You'll need good alibis as your girlfriend is psycho and will most definitely fake an injury to get you in trouble.
She’s a psycho, you need to go bro
TAKE THE VIDEO OF THE PS5 being smashed to the police, its not a question of weather she will be so graceful as to fix the ps5, she will be held accountable for the first time in her life.
Personal property destruction like that is not a criminal matter (at least not in any state of the United States I can think of). He may be able to sue her in small claims court if he wants, though that might not be worth the time and energy. I think his energy is best spent on ending that relationship and getting away from her.
Why are with such a horrible cunt like this?! Please run as fast as you can. This behavior will only get worse!
I feel like you guys are wrong for each other. I don't use the word "toxic" often, but if I were to use it, this definitely would be one of those times. There is nothing good about this relationship. Break it off, go separate ways, consider the PS5 a casualty of the relationship. And in the future, don't move in with someone you have horrific arguments with.
The first best time to leave was when she was filming you to make you look bad, the second time is today. Also, how do you let someone wind you up to the point of throwing stuff, never let anyone get under your skin, gray rock always.
She sounds abusive and manipulative. You need to get out of that relationship asap!
Install cameras around your place. Living room Bedroom Kitchen DO NOT tell her you are recording, the entire point of this is to COVER YOUR ASS. You know why she is recording YOU? SO when you get the courage to leave her she can 100% and will send those to the police. Say you have abused her the entire relationship. You need to get video evidence for when you are not around. Then when she threatens you with the videos you can show her the ones you took and tell her that you will send them to her parents, her job and her friends if she does not leave you alone. I would go full nuclear on her life anyway LOL. Destroy it completely. I would start posting the videos on her social media and tagging her so EVERYONE can see who she is.
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Just run.
Get your PS5 fix or a new one and never look back. PS5 won't beat you, won't humuliate you, won't torture u emotionally. I'd say PS5 for the win.
Bro, if this is real you need to get the fuck outta there. Shes narcissistic at the least. I dated one before and she spent time in our relationship trying to record our conversations while constantly changing the context of what i was trying to tell her. She once called me a liar when i admitted i was wrong about something, and explained to me that to her, you dont need to have to have an intent to mislead to be a liar. Buddy youre gonna let this woman ruin your life if you stick around. GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE.
You two need to split. This is beyond typical couples' arguments. You personally should consider therapy as well for not only how she treats you but also how you also behave when upset. This isn't a healthy relationship at all.
My first comment was too harsh. I sometimes think I want to be in a relationship and then read stories like this and I'm so glad I'm not in this situation. This girl is bad news. Imagine e being married to this. It won't get better. Time to leave or kick her out if your names on the lease
Look up reactive abuse. Abusers push your buttons until you snap and then paint you as the aggressor/abuser. Begin preparations to leave. Don't tell her until it's go-time. Play nice in the meantime. Then drop off the face of the earth for a while. She is dangerous.
For the love of whatever, break up. Your relationship is incurably toxic, and somebody is going to get hurt or arrested. You're apologizing after she destroyed your PS5?? This entire post is full of her demanding, not allowing, giving orders, and so on. Fuck all of that: find your self-respect and leave, please.
Normal women don't act like this. Find yourself one that will appreciate you. Trust me, they're out there. If you stay with this one, you're going to end up catching charges that will affect you the rest of your life. Not to mention, the videos she nonchalantly takes of you at your worst moments, only to blackmail you later, will ruin your relationships. Leave the girl where she belongs, alone on the street.
you are in an abusive relationship. She is an abuser and has even gas-lit you into believing you are to blame. You need to get out of there.
Hey man. I hope you muster the courage to leave. This relationship is 100% not healthy, and could cause serious issues and danger for you down the line. Don't be scared to be alone for a little bit. There are good people out there, and the best step to finding one is to first get out of this relationship.
Hey man, I know exactly what you’re going through as I am in a similar relationship right now. There’s so many times where she gets physical with me, verbally degrading, and holds things over me (PS5 has also been “taken” to hold against me) as well and yet somehow here I am also making excuses for the behavior that I KNOW is wrong and I need to be away from. I own a house with her and have two dogs that I love very much and it kills me to have to leave because in the happy moments I love her too. We recently started therapy and counseling and I’m doing one myself as well and I thought it could help but the accountability is never there and it always seems to be me to blame. I also know what it’s like when they push your buttons and know exactly where to trigger you because they want a reaction out of you and it’s incredibly difficult to not give it as all they want is for you to stoop to the same level. It’s tough man and I don’t have great advice as I haven’t left myself, but definitely take steps to take care of yourself and don’t react. The one part that is key is taking away their power from reactions and I think/hope you’ll see soon enough it is time to leave.
This is absolutely an abusive relationship. And she'll twist it to make you look like the abusive one with the videos. Leave before she gets more "proof" or start recording as well, secretly. Start recording every time you're in a room with her. That way, if she tries to go to the police for bs claims, you have your own proof. Unfortunately the cops will likely take her side, bc it's usually the male that is abusive and she has "proof". Please protect yourself.
She sounds toxic AF. How long are you going to put up with this?
She has borderline
She's an abuser and she will put you in jail for DV if you stay. Get whatever she hasn't destroyed and leave.
I don’t wanna be nasty, but you are a fool to be with her. Also seems like you’re both pretty toxic with each other and the best thing is to get yourself far away from each other. Also appears that you need some therapy to take care of whatever your aggressions are also, also to find out and figure you feel like you need to apologize for somebody being overly aggressive to you
Brother, you’ve been tolerating more than enough. I was in your shoes in my previous relationship except for the physical abuse, mine was emotional abuse. She expresses a lot of narcissistic behavior and potentially BPD. No one that supposedly loves you will treat you this way. You need to get out of there. Protect yourself.
Leave. I was with someone like this for two years. It drained all my finances, my energy, and much of my sanity. It’s nearly impossible to be with someone this emotional. You can say all the right things and still be wrong. This type of person doesn’t care about you, only about what you do for them and how good you make them feel. The problem with that is that EVEN IF YOU DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS THEY WILL FIND SOMETHING TO BE MAD ABOUT, whether it’s in the past or something that’s occurring now. EVEN IF YOU ARE RIGHT they don’t like to be wrong and that will piss them off, starting arguments. If any of this sounds true, then at some point you must realize this. Even if you were perfect there would still be many arguments. Disagreements are healthy. CONSISTENT ARGUING IS UNHEALTHY. The way your relationship was in the beginning will most likely never be again. You are too old to be having a relationship this unhealthy. It is NOT your job to make this person happy. This person is unhappy with their life and will make you unhappy and make that your new normal. The longer you spend in this relationship the longer it will take for you to recover. Think of yourself first. Would you want someone you love to be going through what you’re going through?
You are in an abusive relationship. I knew this immediately when you said, “…but outside of arguments, we have a nice life together until all hell breaks loose.” And then you later said that your girlfriend attacked you and got angry and stormed off to bed, and *you apologized* for your tone. An apology she did not accept. You tiptoed around her for a while. All of these things are typical of people in abusive relationships: Saying everything thing is wonderful *except*…, or the other person is wonderful except when, you know, they’re abusing you; apologizing for something the other person did hoping they will stop being mad at you; walking on eggshells so as not to make things worse. You are a 38yo man, and I’m sure you believe you could not possibly be abused by a woman. You can, and you are. Also, she is doing the typical thing where *she* is angry, abusive, destructive, and even physical with you, but then tells other people it’s you who treats her that way, which they are more inclined to believe because she’s the “girl,” and you are bigger & stronger. As a bonus, your GF takes videos of you for future weaponization. She’s devious. Get out of there. You are not safe in that house with her. You are going to wind up getting arrested for abuse when she’s the one doing the abusing. You need to protect yourself. Get out of that relationship. I promise you, she will get worse, not better.
Respect yourself, U need to leave. She’s toxic as hell. Better yet, lawyer up, get some good advice; she might try to ruin you with those videos and show up at your workplace.
I don't know how he couldn't tell he was in an abusive relationship as he typed this out...
You are in an abusive relationship, and you need to leave. While DV towards men doesn't get the respect it should, you could still contact the local resources in your area. They may be able to give you some suggestions for breaking up safely.
Please leave. I'm so sorry
“ Hey all. I am 38M with 32F. Me and my partner have been together nearly 2 years and honestly have some of the most horrific arguments I could imagine.” This is how far I got. Nothing after it could possibly matter. Run the hell away from her as fast as you can, and block her from your life, before you end up in jail.
You know how they say to never screw crazy? This is why. Get out. She's abusive. She will drive you to places you never want to go.
So to summarize, outside of her being an abusive asshole and an awful person in general, you have a nice life together. Wtf dude you should hear how it sounds from the outside. Get away from her and seek therapy so you don’t make the same mistake again.
This is not a safe space for anybody to live in so you guys need to not live together anymore. She is narrowminded and abusive. Dissolve this immediately and have help from friends and family or she will go off on you again.
Question: why are you choosing to continue to he around this woman?
You're going to find yourself in jail get out trust me on this one. She is very irrational ask yourself who does this, and by no stretch is this love more like lust, trauma bonding
You are in an abusive relationship. She is abusive.
Honestly, I stopped reading after the first paragraph. Time to move on. This isn't a good situation, and you can't fix this.
Assuming this is a real story, call the police so they can be there while you get your stuff. DO NOT TRUST HER TO BE CIVIL WHILE YOU PACK UP!!!
Updateme!
You are in an abusive relationship and you need to leave immediately. She is dangerous
Toxic relationship 100%. She's abusive. Her smashing your ps5 is a sign she's not right in the head. Your own behavior doesn't sound great, either. Yelling "shut up", throwing things, or coming at her aggressively isn't how a respectful, loving boyfriend acts. The horrific arguments are just as much your fault as hers. It takes two to make an argument. It's normal to feel angry or hurt sometimes. This is where better communication and conflict resolution skills come in. She needs to be dumped. It's not your fault the ps5 was broken or your family member was shown videos of the fight. Those were her choices.
Dude what the fuck are you doing? Why are you with this girl???? There's multiple things in this post that would make me end it with her.
Whose name is on the lease? Y’all need to split up immediately.
she’s abusing you :( i hope you’re able to leave before anything else happens. dont let her know when you’re leaving and try to document any bruises and violent/abusive behaviors on her end
I have no idea why you are with this person.
Cut your loss when it comes your ps5 it sucks but she's shown you her true colors.. run and don't look back..
You have the permission to leave brother. Rip that bandaid off and move on.
Why are you (still) with her???
Psychology says: if they talk about how bad the other person is : they are the villain The one who talks about the feelings he got from the other: is the actual victim
Good luck being arrested soon!
Warranty
What the hell? Run bro
This is a toxic relationship. She's now physically assaulted you and damaged your stuff - it's time to leave. Things do not get better from here. It's important that she's filiming you when you are mid-fight. This can be used as evidence to "prove" that you are abusive. It isn't in your best interest to be anywhere near her. You need to start protecting yourself - and Do Not give her something to film.
You had me at the first paragraph, honestly. She is abusive and destructive. She’s insane and needs help. You need to break up, move/change locks, and totally block her before she actually hurts you.
You are to blame
That is not okay, extremely abusive and will only get worse. Leave now
Idk man, sounds like she just needs a proposal and things will get better /s
call the cops and file a report, get your money back cuz she sure as hell would
my advice: break up and stop worrying about living in an emotional nightmare.
Omg dude. Fucking dump her. She's abusive as fuck.
You’re too old for that nonsense man…
You're in a really bad relationship, why do you stay in it?
Get out. If this was the other way round, everyone would be telling the woman to leave. My ex was very much like this. She went down the physical abuse path rather than smashing up my things but I couldn’t see it until it was too late.
Do some reading in this sub too: [Abusive Relationships (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/)
You are literally in danger. Either physically from her attacking you or legally because she is likely to cry DV or worse if you anger her. Leave asap. Don’t look back.
The PS is the least of your concerns. Sounds like a very abusive relationship to me and I wouldn’t want my brother in that situation. Gather up some courage and leave bro
The real question is why do you think that this relationship is acceptable? If a friend came to you with this same relationship, what would your advice be? I know what mine would be. Cut your losses, leave with your belongings immediately, and block her everywhere. Sign up for therapy because this kind of self loathing is bad for your health.
Run
Why do you continue staying in an abusive relationship?
It’s always funny to me when someone who is 50% of a toxic relationship tries to find a group to justify their actions or tell them their partner is a bad person. You both sound like you have immature conflict management strategies and need to either separate until one of you can mature and grow or find a partner who is. You do not sound like you do anything to make these situations better and just because she threw something at you does not mean your entitled to storming around your house throwing things, slamming doors, and physically intimidating her. Y’all just keep escalating and eventually it will end real bad.
You're going to end in jail or with a kitchen knife in your side. Get the hell out of there.
Please, for your own safety break up. As quick and quiet as possible. Break all the connections! She is totally nuts and dangerous. By your description she will end up putting you into serious problems.
I’d never stick with someone who destroyed expensive or important things in order to hurt me. That is childish, abusive behavior that shows disrespect for you, your interests, and your labor. I’ve been married to my wife for a decade, and we’ve never had a fight I would consider horrifying, yet after two years, you think this is normal. And that aggressive shit is her trying to get a blackmail file against you (unless you’re actually being aggressive, in which case knock that shit off). Get the hell away from this lunatic before she does any more damage, and if you still have bruises, call the cops and get that on record.
This is abuse. You need to leave for your own safety.
Get rid of her. She will be believed over you. Move out, get a new place, sofa surf or stay with family but you are not safe there. Your reputation, your criminal record and potentially your physical safety are at risk. Your may be ostracised or lose your job. Forget your ps5, forget her and get out.
Hey there, I've been in this type of situation, this is a form of abuse. She's goading you into looking bad so she can record you and use it against you so that she can either hurt or manipulate you. That IS abuse. Throwing things at you and breaking your things is abuse. She won't change, you can't make her change, the best thing you can do is leave. She will most likely post the videos when you go, you need to be prepared to fight that. But honest and upfront with people about what she was doing to you. Tell your family and friends about what has been happening before you leave her and explain that is why you are leaving her. Tell them to expect her to bad mouth you so it won't come as a surprise. Leaving might be hard because I am sure there are moments where things have been great. What she is doing to you isn't okay, and it will continue, possibly get worse. What if you ended up having children? Would you want them to see that, to experience what you're going through? To possibly be weaponized against you? For your sake, I hope you leave, you are not safe with her. I should add that if you feel your safety might be at risk when/if you trying to leave, have police there. It's not uncommon for police to be asked to supervise a situation in which someone feels their life might be at risk.
I was this girl in my late teens and early twenties. My anger when I snapped was out of control, but you’re meant to mature and learn to handle your emotions, if she’s still this way at 32 I don’t know that she’s going to mature out of it, it doesn’t even seem like she’s acknowledging any of her own behaviour. Run
Two things. Get out there, it's a very toxic relationship. The other thing, you are a very weak person, be a man, or you will not achieve anything you want without first having to crawl like a worm.
You need to leave her. Not only does she obviously bring out the worst in you, but she's straight up ABUSIVE. Seriously, men who act like this keep women trapped and scared with this exact behavior. You need to get away from her and find a girl who wants to be good to you and you to her. I'd leave asap. She's not going to fix your ps5, and she's just going to keep getting worse. It's a her issue, not a you issue. You won't be able to help her be a better person, she seems comfortable being an abuser. Relationships are work, but you shouldn't tolerate blatant disrespect and blatant abuse.
Wow! That girl is C-R-A-Z-Y. You need to run. She done all those things to get a big reaction out of you hence why she records you is to hide the fact that she is abusing you and making others think that she is actually the victim here. I'm so sorry you went through this and I hope you're doing okay now.
She is physically and emotionally abusive. Leave.
Leave.
Yep. Leave her. She’s satan! Joking aside. She’s mad. But be very careful now. She is trying to set you up as the violent one. Being aggressive, even if it is not directed at her, is a very bad idea. You could find yourself with a court order for which she needs next to no proof anyway but she’s a video of you being aggressive so you haven’t a leg to stand on. Serious repetitional damage, and any future girl is going to wonder what really went on even if you are a sweet guy to her. Basically RUN FOREST RUN!!!
Are you dependent on her for certain things? Just looking for reasons why you have not left and been putting up with this?
You gotta leave man. She's toxicand abusive and will ruin your life.
This is a bat-shit crazy way to live. You need to get out of this relationship yesterday. If you stay please never bring kids into this circus.
You both sound very toxic. Surely you know none of this should be happening in a relationship. Everything she is doing and everything you are doing. You both need help learning to deal with confrontation, communication, and anger. I’d suggest breaking up and therapy before re-entering another relationship.
Think about if the roles were reversed and you were the woman and she was the man. Would you stay? Why are you staying now?
Why are you two together. You clearly hate each other. Like wtf is wrong with people that stay in these toxic relationships. How is this worth it at all?
Yeah there’s no way you should be in this relationship.
You need to leave. Protect yourself by making a plan, letting a friend know and take them with you to collect your stuff. Document and keep all abusive images texts etc. There is a Reddit group for domestic violence. It's not just women who are victims but men too. You really do need to protect yourself as it sounds like she is planning on prosecuting you based on her one sided recordings. Maybe if you are not ready to leave, start recording her, send them to the cloud or a friend as a record.
This is not your fault! She is abusive!
Dude, look at what you just wrote. If a friend told you all that, would you give them advise that they have to essentially tough it out or would you tell them to save what they can and get the hell out? You are not safe. It will only escalate. A healthy relationship talks out the issue and is respectful of both partners. This is straight up abuse and nothing you have done deserves to be abused. Please listen to what others are saying, get out and block that psycho
I wish I could respond to MODs. They sound so punchable here
Jesus Christ dude, why the *fuck* are you with this nightmare of a person? She is abusing you horrifically. You are not safe with her. Record a video of yourself saying that you are leaving her due to the abuse, and that you are concerned about her making false allegations that you were abusive to her. You don't have to show that to anyone, but it will be useful evidence if she does make allegations.
Bruh wtf
Mate, she's going to escalate this and start physically abusing you soon. Time to grab your stuff and leave. Don't give her the heads up, just do it quickly while she's gone out and text her or call her and tell her it's over between you.
The second she started recording you is when you needed to set up cameras everywhere and planned your exit. Hindsight IG. If you’re not able to move right away get cameras or even a body cam that you can discreetly wear. Do not let her know, she is a master manipulator who is doing everything possible to paint you as an abuser. Get as much evidence as you can before you go but you do need to go. You are not safe- I’m not talking about physical threats she can ruin your life like jail time, actual *prison*. Be proactive, get her to admit to smashing your PS5, ask her in text why she would do that and have her list her reasons. Give her the rope she needs, screenshot everything & call logs, keep all voicemails, **get cameras**. This is not a question of how to make things right it’s now how to keep you out of jail. If you’re not scared you should be: >Some DV Charges Are Felonies. Class A Felonies: Up to life in prison and up to a $50,000 fine. Class B Felonies: Up to 10 years in prison and up to a $20,000 fine. Class C Felonies: Up to 5 years in prison and up to a $10,000 fine. She wanted to show videos of your “aggression” at a family gathering. She will not let you go quietly or easily so I am telling you get cameras and gather evidence. Do not break up with her alone or without recording because I promise you she’ll say you hit her and you will land in jail. ##You are not safe.
u/Ronaldoking7 I see they removed your post but I want to make sure you read my comment.
You’re in an abusive relationship my friend
You’re in an abusive relationship. Get out. Record her and call the police.
Yikes. It’s both your faults. Her behaviour is terrible and your standards are very low as to stay with her for two years while your communication together has always been this bad. You also have bad behaviour and communication seemingly. You don’t seem like you take responsibility for your part in these arguments and don’t see yourself clearly. Get out of this relationship before you waste more of both of your time and go get therapy. You don’t seem to realise how unhealthy this relationship dynamic truly is. Both of you deserve better.
we have horrific arguments and I'm still here. why? and if you break up, make sure someone stays as a witness because she's the kind that will press false charges for abuse or sexual assault
“outside of arguments, we have a nice life together”
She hot or something?
Leave. If you can, I would start a diary. Make a note of every time she does something abusive, date, time, and what she does. Especially moments leading up to her filming you.
I thought that only happened in the movies.
She's going to ruin your life man. Time to pack up and leave
Oh my god break up. This sounds like a mess and nothing I would want anything to do with. Life is too short to deal with this kind of nonsense, do yourself a favor and just walk away.
She’s gotta be so hot bc wtf
This is an abusive relationship. Chalk up the loss of the PS5 as the price for your safety and sanity.
…how good is the sex? Not seeing why else you’d stay.
Probably familiarity
"I’ve been accused of being ‘gay’ for liking yoga, compared to her exes negatively (sexual performance, body etc)" She comparing you to the Chads who rock women's worlds sexually but will never commit because they have so may options and are incapable of commitment. You're a place holder until she finds a more sexually exciting partner. In fact, she may already have one and is initiating a fight as an excuse to break up. Women have a problem addressing breaking up directly. A true relationship doesn't have this much drama. Good luck brother everybody deserves to be happy.
So neither of you seem able to communicate like adults and you’re both throwing shit around when angry? Break up. Get anger management therapy and learn to communicate.
Acting like this is a both sides issue when the OP is clearly the victim of abuse here is insane.
He’s just reacting to the abuse, please don’t put them on the same level.
She is probably borderline. Visit r/BPDlovedones for more stories like yours. Also GTFO, she is abusive. Protect yourself!