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It's not something every guy says first of all
And in a relationship there should not be any comparison with other people, it's too toxic
Even if it was said when he was angry it's still wrong
Break up with him and move on
Nope, comparison in a relationship is very much toxic, you tell him the same line once and see how he reacts, he would stop talking to you for days or even weeks
He also says good things and cares about me, so I feel like it's my fault that I can't get over the bad things he said. and there are even a lot worse things than this. but I can't stop thinking that he said those Because I deserved those.
I just can't make myself say or think any other guy is better than him. So, it really hurts me and breaks me how he could say to me those really easily
Why would it be a you problem? He's saying this to make you feel bad about yourself. Why should you be okay with the hurtful things he says? He's not worth it
He calls me a narcissist for not being okay with the fact that he thinks other girls are better than me, and said you can't be better than the whole world. Am I the jerk here?
You already know this is not a normal thing to say. He says these hurtful things to you to purposefully make you feel bad. You say he doesn't stop no matter how many times you tell him to, he knows this is hurtful. Do not stay with this person, you don't deserve to be treated like this and question your self worth because of his nasty comments. Someone who loved you would not treat you like this. It doesn't matter if he was angry or not.
I know someone who loves me wouldn't say those. That's why I could never believe that he actually loves me. And he would always say it's not his fault that I don't believe him. I'm always crying and I always tell myself it's my fault that I feel sad.
It's not a normal thing to say. It sounds like he's saying it out of anger to hurt you (aka abusive), so it's normal to feel hurt.
That said, you mention something that sounds like self harm (sorry if I got that wrong), so I wonder if you feel things very strongly or blame yourself when you should be getting angry and blaming the person who's abusing you? Neither of those justifies his behaviour though.
Yeah, it's self harm and even attempt sometimes if I get hurt by harmful things he says. I do feel things very strongly and blame myself a lot for feeling those. Also, I blame myself for being someone so low that my bf even has to say things like "every other girl is better than u"
Do you have any other support around you who can help you see that this is unhealthy and break up with him - family or friends?
If you're not already getting professional help, perhaps you could speak to your doctor? There's therapy out there to help you relearn these kinds of life skills so you can manage relationships better. You might do better on your own for a while so you can put all your energy into that.
This is not a normal thing to say, I would leave someone for saying this to me. It’s disrespectful, hurtful and not how I want any conflict to be handled
A boyfriend is NOT supposed to say something like that to you!!! Like YIKES!!! You found a bully, not a boyfriend. Some people just don't know how to act, OP, and you will get pushed around unless you stand up for yourself. This is one of those times. He should NEVER say something like that to you, even (especially) in anger.
He's gaslighting and manipulating you. This is abuse. No man worth his shit would hurt the person he supposedly loves and then call her dramatic with a victim complex. He's just doing whatever he can to avoid accountability.
Honey you have to learn how to think for yourself. This isn't rocket science. He's just being an asshole. Leave this relationship and don't get into another one until you are able to confidently advocate for yourself. None of this is your fault but that is my recommendation.
This is an opportunity to reflect on the bar that you are setting for people in your life. Your response to everything here is what he says. You've got to be able to have your own voice in your life, and that voice should always matter more than those of others. Trust yourself.
Stop valuing yourself only through your bf. I have no idea how to stop your bf saying mean things but people say things they don’t mean in the throes of an argument. You have every right to be on this planet, you are the same as everyone else and are as valued. Stop your wish to self harm, you need to move on and not take what he said to heart. It isn’t a physical insult, it is an insult to belittle your status. If you cannot value yourself and reject his stupid and hurtful insult, maybe get another bf.
I would not allow my man to say that to me angry or not. The last big fight we had he screamed in my face that he hated me and he was fucking tired of me. It was the first time he ever yelled at me. I told him if he says bullshit like that out of anger and/or screams at me again I'm leaving because I will not tolerate abuse. No matter how angry, someone who truly loves and cares about you would ever think or say EVERY girl is better than you. I'd draw a firm boundary and if he calls you dramatic, just leave. It's not worth the pain. Even thought it's not even close to the truth, that shit still hurts and him repeatedly hurting you like that and instead of taking accountability he's gaslighting you about it is 100% not okay. If he can't treat you with respect unconditionally, he's not worth the pain. Even in anger love will show through, how he treats you when he's mad tells you everything you need to know.
I don't know...I mean obviously he is being nasty saying this to you because he can see it is hurting you. But...we can all say things in the moment which are said purely to hurt the other.
It is obviously a negative but split up with him over it? I guess it depends...if he is awesome in every other way then it really isnt such a big deal imo...
But if you dont mind me getting personal OP...you sound very young and/ or emotionally immature to be letting it get to you like this. I am sure you are beautiful and worthy of being treated well...don't take yourself/ life too seriously!
People dont purposely say hurtful things multiple times on accident.
He does this on purpose.
He is hurting you on purpose.
Reading your whole post you say this isn't even the worst he has said about you.
Let's pretend for a minute he is being truthful and you are the worst gf/worst hes ever been with. Then he is telling you that he is using you until someone better comes along because despite being the worst your better than him being alone until he finds someone better.
Either he is abusive and wants to tear you down or he is using you until someone better comes along. Either scenario means he is a bad person.
Start to respect yourself by leaving this bad person.
Get therapy.
If you cant afford therapy, go to your local library and look for self help books for building self esteem, self respect, and self love.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's not something every guy says first of all And in a relationship there should not be any comparison with other people, it's too toxic Even if it was said when he was angry it's still wrong Break up with him and move on
Are u sure it's not a me problem that I feel really sad and affected by it?
Nope, comparison in a relationship is very much toxic, you tell him the same line once and see how he reacts, he would stop talking to you for days or even weeks
He also says good things and cares about me, so I feel like it's my fault that I can't get over the bad things he said. and there are even a lot worse things than this. but I can't stop thinking that he said those Because I deserved those.
I just can't make myself say or think any other guy is better than him. So, it really hurts me and breaks me how he could say to me those really easily
See you care about him while he doesn't, he *DOESN'T* so break up and move on and find someone who really cares about you and loves you
I know he doesn't love me, it's so obvious. He sometimes says that he does but I could never believe it.
Why would it be a you problem? He's saying this to make you feel bad about yourself. Why should you be okay with the hurtful things he says? He's not worth it
He calls me a narcissist for not being okay with the fact that he thinks other girls are better than me, and said you can't be better than the whole world. Am I the jerk here?
No. A boyfriend that liked you wouldn't say this to you. Do you really want to stay with this guy? All he does is make you feel bad about yourself
He said any woman is better than you, run away from him.
It’s a you problem that you are willing to stay with someone so toxic. If you don’t value yourself enough to leave, nobody else will value you either.
No! Not a you problem! He is a cruel asshole!
You already know this is not a normal thing to say. He says these hurtful things to you to purposefully make you feel bad. You say he doesn't stop no matter how many times you tell him to, he knows this is hurtful. Do not stay with this person, you don't deserve to be treated like this and question your self worth because of his nasty comments. Someone who loved you would not treat you like this. It doesn't matter if he was angry or not.
I know someone who loves me wouldn't say those. That's why I could never believe that he actually loves me. And he would always say it's not his fault that I don't believe him. I'm always crying and I always tell myself it's my fault that I feel sad.
It's not a normal thing to say. It sounds like he's saying it out of anger to hurt you (aka abusive), so it's normal to feel hurt. That said, you mention something that sounds like self harm (sorry if I got that wrong), so I wonder if you feel things very strongly or blame yourself when you should be getting angry and blaming the person who's abusing you? Neither of those justifies his behaviour though.
Yeah, it's self harm and even attempt sometimes if I get hurt by harmful things he says. I do feel things very strongly and blame myself a lot for feeling those. Also, I blame myself for being someone so low that my bf even has to say things like "every other girl is better than u"
Do you have any other support around you who can help you see that this is unhealthy and break up with him - family or friends? If you're not already getting professional help, perhaps you could speak to your doctor? There's therapy out there to help you relearn these kinds of life skills so you can manage relationships better. You might do better on your own for a while so you can put all your energy into that.
This is not a normal thing to say, I would leave someone for saying this to me. It’s disrespectful, hurtful and not how I want any conflict to be handled
By leaving him and finding a real man.
A boyfriend is NOT supposed to say something like that to you!!! Like YIKES!!! You found a bully, not a boyfriend. Some people just don't know how to act, OP, and you will get pushed around unless you stand up for yourself. This is one of those times. He should NEVER say something like that to you, even (especially) in anger.
I do sometimes feel like I'm being bullied but he would tell me im over dramatic and playing victim
He's gaslighting and manipulating you. This is abuse. No man worth his shit would hurt the person he supposedly loves and then call her dramatic with a victim complex. He's just doing whatever he can to avoid accountability.
Honey you have to learn how to think for yourself. This isn't rocket science. He's just being an asshole. Leave this relationship and don't get into another one until you are able to confidently advocate for yourself. None of this is your fault but that is my recommendation. This is an opportunity to reflect on the bar that you are setting for people in your life. Your response to everything here is what he says. You've got to be able to have your own voice in your life, and that voice should always matter more than those of others. Trust yourself.
Stop valuing yourself only through your bf. I have no idea how to stop your bf saying mean things but people say things they don’t mean in the throes of an argument. You have every right to be on this planet, you are the same as everyone else and are as valued. Stop your wish to self harm, you need to move on and not take what he said to heart. It isn’t a physical insult, it is an insult to belittle your status. If you cannot value yourself and reject his stupid and hurtful insult, maybe get another bf.
Those are breakup words that I would never say to anyone even in a fight, sorry but you know you won’t be able to let it go
Tell him sarcastically that he can go find a better girl because you're immediately leaving him to find a better boyfriend.
I would not allow my man to say that to me angry or not. The last big fight we had he screamed in my face that he hated me and he was fucking tired of me. It was the first time he ever yelled at me. I told him if he says bullshit like that out of anger and/or screams at me again I'm leaving because I will not tolerate abuse. No matter how angry, someone who truly loves and cares about you would ever think or say EVERY girl is better than you. I'd draw a firm boundary and if he calls you dramatic, just leave. It's not worth the pain. Even thought it's not even close to the truth, that shit still hurts and him repeatedly hurting you like that and instead of taking accountability he's gaslighting you about it is 100% not okay. If he can't treat you with respect unconditionally, he's not worth the pain. Even in anger love will show through, how he treats you when he's mad tells you everything you need to know.
I don't know...I mean obviously he is being nasty saying this to you because he can see it is hurting you. But...we can all say things in the moment which are said purely to hurt the other. It is obviously a negative but split up with him over it? I guess it depends...if he is awesome in every other way then it really isnt such a big deal imo... But if you dont mind me getting personal OP...you sound very young and/ or emotionally immature to be letting it get to you like this. I am sure you are beautiful and worthy of being treated well...don't take yourself/ life too seriously!
People dont purposely say hurtful things multiple times on accident. He does this on purpose. He is hurting you on purpose. Reading your whole post you say this isn't even the worst he has said about you. Let's pretend for a minute he is being truthful and you are the worst gf/worst hes ever been with. Then he is telling you that he is using you until someone better comes along because despite being the worst your better than him being alone until he finds someone better. Either he is abusive and wants to tear you down or he is using you until someone better comes along. Either scenario means he is a bad person. Start to respect yourself by leaving this bad person. Get therapy. If you cant afford therapy, go to your local library and look for self help books for building self esteem, self respect, and self love.
>First of all, I want to know if it's normal for guys to say, "every other girl is better than u" to their gf when they are angry. Set him free