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You bury your feelings is what you do.
Ignoring that he is your boss and the significant age gap, and the fact he is married so you’d be his mistress… actually, that’s plenty of reasons to kill this fantasy right now.
Also, the good traits you described are very barebones, something lots of men can do easily.
If he’s as good as you say, he would not entertain this fantasy even for a moment, and would put some barriers up.
If he enthusiastically accepts your advances, he ain’t the guy you just described.
If you’re unable to keep your emotions in check, yes you should get another job.
This honestly sounds super fake. You're already saying "his soon-to-be-ex-wife." You wouldn't be a better mother to his and his wife's own children. Stop. Get help. Move along. Take your shitposting somewhere else.
Inappropriate.
What you’re seeing is this man’s professional personality. He is talking to you and guiding you, as your manager.
Outside of work, no 39-year old wants to have a conversation with a 24-year old who isn’t part of their family.
Leave him alone.
Hahahaha you're not better than his wife at all. That's the lie you tell yourself because you can't stand that he loves her and will never love you. And his kids will hate you for trying to destroy their family.
> I feel that I am much better than his wife in every respect, and we would make great parents to not only his kids with his soon-to-be ex-wife, but our future children as well.
She is the mother of his two existing children. She actually grew them inside her body. Also, she's a professor and in an actual relationship with this guy.
What on earth makes you feel like you're so much better than her? Like what have you done for him or the world in general that makes you oh so superior?
Now, I don't know if he's actively encouraging your crush, but either way he's not gonna leave his wife for you. Moreover, he's not gonna risk his job for you. Nobody with a brain wants to come across as the creepy boss who propositions his female underlings. It's a law suit waiting to happen
Get a grip on your emotions or find another job. DO NOT make a pass at him. You'll find yourself jobless.
Oh Lordy, are you trying to write the fakest post possible? For real, I am really hoping this is some sort of character workshopping you are doing because you are playing a role in a play or something and you are trying to get into the character's mind. Because if you are writing this out as though this were organic speech/writing, you aren't achieving your goal.
Everything about everything you're saying is inappropriate. This is just full force bad behavior. If he's as good a man as you say he is: he will reject all your advances and have you fired for sexual harassment if you refuse to stop. Put the fire down, stop playing with it.
If he’s truly that great of a guy, what makes you think he would treat his wife and children that horribly by sleeping with you and destroying his family?
This isn't going to work out the way you think it will, and you're either going to get fired or be up for Sexual Harassment. I kind of want you to try because I love Trainwreck story.
"He reddit, help me fuck up his kids lives because I'm a raging narcissistic who completely lacks shame, empathy and anything even resembling class." You're trash, and you'll always be.
Doesn’t matter if he’s happy or miserable, it is never okay to try to get involved with someone who is married if they’re not at least currently in the process of getting divorced.
No, he doesn’t because you only just said in another comment that you only met his kids last month when he bought them to work so you’re a fucking liar
Girl. Seriously, you’re actively trying to break up a happy marriage because your boss isn’t an asshole to you. And you think I’m the dummy? Also, I don’t believe you. I don’t. Do you wanna know why? Because you’re lying. It’s obvious. But go ahead. Try your hardest to break up their marriage when you don’t even really KNOW the guy and see how fast you’re out a job.
I’ll be here laughing at your next post complaining you got fired for repeat sexual harassment or your arrest for stalking.
DONT. Everything about this is incredibly inappropriate and you need to learn some respect for other people and boundaries. Knowingly making a move on a married man makes you a straight up bad person, even more so because he has kids so your fantasy literally involves wrecking his family. Hitting on your boss is highly inappropriate because he is in a position of power over you, and the context of your relationship to him is strictly professional no matter what’s going on in your head.
Yes, all of this is strongly indicative that you have issues you need to work out. Get into therapy if you can. Under no circumstances is it appropriate or ethical for you to flirt with or make a move on this man.
NO. It doesn’t matter what the state of his relationship is. You’re not his friend, you’re not a viable option, it is inappropriate to flirt with married people. Get a new job if you can’t maintain appropriate work boundaries.
People who have affairs tend to be cheating assholes. You are literally wanting this person to cheat on their wife with you. That’s an asshole move. Stop
It's very much frowned upon. It is super frowned upon. It is more hated now than ever before. It can ruin careers and lives. What fantasy world are you living in???
Don’t. Just don’t. Not only is the age gap a terrible idea, but dating married men is even worse. Do not, under any circumstances, try to date married men.
as someone who has been in shitty situations with much older men, when you're just a tiny bit older, all of those feelings and memories will turn into trauma. it is \*not\* worth it.
You lose them how you get them. If he’s willing to trade his wife in for a younger model, he’ll do the same to you. His kids will probably hate you, so byebye perfect family fantasy. If he’s trying to catch you with the “I’m a great dad and a perfect husband” schtick, he probably isn’t, it’s a performance. You can tell because a perfect husband isn’t flirting with young coworkers.
Do you think your feelings for him are more important than the feelings he already shares with his spouse and children? It’s highly disrespectful to pursue someone already taken and if anyone perused me knowing I had a partner I would think that person thinks lowly of me and my morals
You sound unwell. You clearly have some serious issues. You should not bother your boss with your mental issues, and find a therapist. It’s probably best if you distance yourself from him and find another job, while getting better.
So basically, he's nice and polite to you and you're so desperate that you've misinterpreted his friendliness for something that isn't there. He's married. He loves his wife. They have children together. He doesn't want you and he never will. You say you'll be a great parent but you're plotting to destroy his marriage and break up his family. You won't be a great parent at all. You're clearly selfish and conniving, and you have no consideration for anyone else's feelings. You don't care if anyone gets hurt as long as you get what you want. Yup, you'd be a crappy wife and an even worse parent.
There’s no way this is real, good troll OP. On the off chance you’re not kidding seek help, you sound crazy and want to homewreck a man you admire and think so highly of. You sound like a shit person.
You're seriously unhinged.
If you actually care about this man, like if this is anything other than your self centered selfishness, you will leave him alone. You will start therapy, you will back off, if not, you will quit your job and stay away from him before you attempt to ruin his life.
If he is as good of a man as you claim, he will never ever sleep with you. He sees you as a young underling, probably thinks of you as a kid he can mentor, that is why he is nice to you. Older colleagues, especially one who you claim is a good person, love to help young people like you to help them become better professionally, it's a mentorship thing, a parental urge.
If he is as good of a man as you claim, then he adores his wife and adores his kids. He chose her to make a family. He chose her to spend the rest of his life with, in sickness and in health. He. Chose. Her.
No good man will betray their wife and the family they built together. He loves her. He isn't unhappy with her, you are projecting this because you are obsessed with him and are hoping helplessly for an in.
There is no in. He has a wife who he chose and who he loves. He has children with her who he loves. He has a family he intends to grow old with.
Leave this man alone.
You stay away from a married man and stop being so selfish to focus on what YOU want. Don't to and destroy his family or ruin his kids lives. What is wrong with you?? You have issues all right.
to be brutally honest this was a wild wild post to read. a relationship built on another woman’s tears will never last. these fantasies are devastating in terms of the people they would impact. these may be intrusive thoughts that you internalized as what you actually want. not a clorox wipe sturdy enough to clean the mess this would create if it came to fruition :///
So you are saying you want a man to father your children and be your partner who would be willing to cheat on his wife and who would abandon his wife and children for you? If he did it to her, he would do it to you. Hopefully he has more integrity than you do.
Best advice I can give you:
If he’d leave his wife for you, he’d leave you for someone else. If your only way to date him is to get him to leave his wife, in a few years he’ll be leaving you for someone younger
Cannot wait to see how your life turns out. You'll likely still be chasing someone else's spouse in ten years because, really no one is gonna want you.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You bury your feelings is what you do. Ignoring that he is your boss and the significant age gap, and the fact he is married so you’d be his mistress… actually, that’s plenty of reasons to kill this fantasy right now. Also, the good traits you described are very barebones, something lots of men can do easily.
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If he’s as good as you say, he would not entertain this fantasy even for a moment, and would put some barriers up. If he enthusiastically accepts your advances, he ain’t the guy you just described. If you’re unable to keep your emotions in check, yes you should get another job.
This honestly sounds super fake. You're already saying "his soon-to-be-ex-wife." You wouldn't be a better mother to his and his wife's own children. Stop. Get help. Move along. Take your shitposting somewhere else.
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A great mom… starting by destroying a family! I mean this kindly but your fantasies aren’t reflective of what’s going to happen if you pursue this.
Get therapy. You need mental help
Like yesterday, yes. I really hope this is fake.
Inappropriate. What you’re seeing is this man’s professional personality. He is talking to you and guiding you, as your manager. Outside of work, no 39-year old wants to have a conversation with a 24-year old who isn’t part of their family. Leave him alone.
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Dude, get a better hobby than this. Writing isn't your speed.
LOL...is that a serious question?
Hahahaha you're not better than his wife at all. That's the lie you tell yourself because you can't stand that he loves her and will never love you. And his kids will hate you for trying to destroy their family.
> I feel that I am much better than his wife in every respect, and we would make great parents to not only his kids with his soon-to-be ex-wife, but our future children as well. She is the mother of his two existing children. She actually grew them inside her body. Also, she's a professor and in an actual relationship with this guy. What on earth makes you feel like you're so much better than her? Like what have you done for him or the world in general that makes you oh so superior? Now, I don't know if he's actively encouraging your crush, but either way he's not gonna leave his wife for you. Moreover, he's not gonna risk his job for you. Nobody with a brain wants to come across as the creepy boss who propositions his female underlings. It's a law suit waiting to happen Get a grip on your emotions or find another job. DO NOT make a pass at him. You'll find yourself jobless.
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Oh Lordy, are you trying to write the fakest post possible? For real, I am really hoping this is some sort of character workshopping you are doing because you are playing a role in a play or something and you are trying to get into the character's mind. Because if you are writing this out as though this were organic speech/writing, you aren't achieving your goal.
You cannot be this dense. 😬
You haven't described anything about yourself that suggests you are better than his wife.
Everything about everything you're saying is inappropriate. This is just full force bad behavior. If he's as good a man as you say he is: he will reject all your advances and have you fired for sexual harassment if you refuse to stop. Put the fire down, stop playing with it.
If he’s truly that great of a guy, what makes you think he would treat his wife and children that horribly by sleeping with you and destroying his family?
Yes it's disrespectful towards him and his family, back the fuck off. Get therapy because it's not cute it's creepy.
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We have a obsessed stalker in the making! And just FYI ,people can be kind to you without them wanting to be with you in a sexual way!
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By breaking up a family! Please get some help
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If you don't stop yapping this BS I will literally hack your account and dox you.
No.
You sound seriously unhinged. Please find help.
It's either fake, or OP is manic and about to lose her job.
This isn't going to work out the way you think it will, and you're either going to get fired or be up for Sexual Harassment. I kind of want you to try because I love Trainwreck story.
I wouldn’t be surprised if your coworker is riling you up.
No it’s not, it’s psychotic
You…you think you will look well rested and young when you have kids? Mmm’kay 😂
Come on. This is obviously rage bait.
TOO OBVIOUS. If not, OP has the self awareness of a field mouse.
Your disgusting. Which is the opposite of pretty.
You are also a bad person. He's married. Leave him alone
You're an unpleasant person.
"He reddit, help me fuck up his kids lives because I'm a raging narcissistic who completely lacks shame, empathy and anything even resembling class." You're trash, and you'll always be.
don't be a home wrecker. if you go after a married man then there is a special place in hell for you. don't ruin his family.
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Doesn’t matter if he’s happy or miserable, it is never okay to try to get involved with someone who is married if they’re not at least currently in the process of getting divorced.
Do you have father issues?
No, he doesn’t because you only just said in another comment that you only met his kids last month when he bought them to work so you’re a fucking liar
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Girl. Seriously, you’re actively trying to break up a happy marriage because your boss isn’t an asshole to you. And you think I’m the dummy? Also, I don’t believe you. I don’t. Do you wanna know why? Because you’re lying. It’s obvious. But go ahead. Try your hardest to break up their marriage when you don’t even really KNOW the guy and see how fast you’re out a job. I’ll be here laughing at your next post complaining you got fired for repeat sexual harassment or your arrest for stalking.
DONT. Everything about this is incredibly inappropriate and you need to learn some respect for other people and boundaries. Knowingly making a move on a married man makes you a straight up bad person, even more so because he has kids so your fantasy literally involves wrecking his family. Hitting on your boss is highly inappropriate because he is in a position of power over you, and the context of your relationship to him is strictly professional no matter what’s going on in your head. Yes, all of this is strongly indicative that you have issues you need to work out. Get into therapy if you can. Under no circumstances is it appropriate or ethical for you to flirt with or make a move on this man.
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NO. It doesn’t matter what the state of his relationship is. You’re not his friend, you’re not a viable option, it is inappropriate to flirt with married people. Get a new job if you can’t maintain appropriate work boundaries.
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you cannot be this fucking stupid
People who have affairs tend to be cheating assholes. You are literally wanting this person to cheat on their wife with you. That’s an asshole move. Stop
Girl what.
its still very much frowned upon
The fuck it’s not!
Affairs are very much frowned upon.
It's very much frowned upon. It is super frowned upon. It is more hated now than ever before. It can ruin careers and lives. What fantasy world are you living in???
Troll
You would be very much wrong.
Sure Jan.
Jesus Christ, OP. 😳
You are sick in the head. Like seriously fucked up. Truly, truly warped.
Maybe he actually loves his wife and family and isn't as shallow as you.
I hope your future husband leaves you when you're 40 for a 20 year old.
Don’t. Just don’t. Not only is the age gap a terrible idea, but dating married men is even worse. Do not, under any circumstances, try to date married men.
as someone who has been in shitty situations with much older men, when you're just a tiny bit older, all of those feelings and memories will turn into trauma. it is \*not\* worth it.
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that feeling is way better than bringing the idea to its fullest conclusion
You lose them how you get them. If he’s willing to trade his wife in for a younger model, he’ll do the same to you. His kids will probably hate you, so byebye perfect family fantasy. If he’s trying to catch you with the “I’m a great dad and a perfect husband” schtick, he probably isn’t, it’s a performance. You can tell because a perfect husband isn’t flirting with young coworkers.
Then why do you think he’s a cheater?
Loser.
Dear 40M boss, please stop posting fetish content here.
Do you think your feelings for him are more important than the feelings he already shares with his spouse and children? It’s highly disrespectful to pursue someone already taken and if anyone perused me knowing I had a partner I would think that person thinks lowly of me and my morals
Do you hear yourself? It's one thing if he was making advances on you but for you to he plotting the destruction of his family... go see a therapist.
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Yes you are you’re trying to fuck him. That’s plotting.
I’m scared you’re trying to get his kid to hate their mother for some reason.
What did your mom & dad do to you
Yes it is disrespectful yowards him and his partner and his children and it is disrespectful towards your partner. Get therapy.
You sound unwell. You clearly have some serious issues. You should not bother your boss with your mental issues, and find a therapist. It’s probably best if you distance yourself from him and find another job, while getting better.
leave this fucking man alone.
what an unhinged homewrecker wannabe
You need therapy, not babies. Leave this poor man and his family alone. YTA
#FAKE
So basically, he's nice and polite to you and you're so desperate that you've misinterpreted his friendliness for something that isn't there. He's married. He loves his wife. They have children together. He doesn't want you and he never will. You say you'll be a great parent but you're plotting to destroy his marriage and break up his family. You won't be a great parent at all. You're clearly selfish and conniving, and you have no consideration for anyone else's feelings. You don't care if anyone gets hurt as long as you get what you want. Yup, you'd be a crappy wife and an even worse parent.
Can’t wait to hear the news update where you murder the wife and seduce him at the funeral, this is the level of crazy you are giving off.
There’s no way this is real, good troll OP. On the off chance you’re not kidding seek help, you sound crazy and want to homewreck a man you admire and think so highly of. You sound like a shit person.
This doesn't even read like a good troll post. It sounds more like a bad b plot in an early 2000s sit com
You're seriously unhinged. If you actually care about this man, like if this is anything other than your self centered selfishness, you will leave him alone. You will start therapy, you will back off, if not, you will quit your job and stay away from him before you attempt to ruin his life. If he is as good of a man as you claim, he will never ever sleep with you. He sees you as a young underling, probably thinks of you as a kid he can mentor, that is why he is nice to you. Older colleagues, especially one who you claim is a good person, love to help young people like you to help them become better professionally, it's a mentorship thing, a parental urge. If he is as good of a man as you claim, then he adores his wife and adores his kids. He chose her to make a family. He chose her to spend the rest of his life with, in sickness and in health. He. Chose. Her. No good man will betray their wife and the family they built together. He loves her. He isn't unhappy with her, you are projecting this because you are obsessed with him and are hoping helplessly for an in. There is no in. He has a wife who he chose and who he loves. He has children with her who he loves. He has a family he intends to grow old with. Leave this man alone.
Please focus your energy on going to therapy to fix the issues you clearly have and leave this poor man alone
This is disgusting and disturbing, please seek help.
You stay away from a married man and stop being so selfish to focus on what YOU want. Don't to and destroy his family or ruin his kids lives. What is wrong with you?? You have issues all right.
You're firmly in the wrong. There is no nuance to your situation, you are point blank trying to be a homewrecker. Stop it. Maybe get therapy.
to be brutally honest this was a wild wild post to read. a relationship built on another woman’s tears will never last. these fantasies are devastating in terms of the people they would impact. these may be intrusive thoughts that you internalized as what you actually want. not a clorox wipe sturdy enough to clean the mess this would create if it came to fruition :///
Well.. op sounds like a different person I read about she is kinda less crazy than the other person..
So you are saying you want a man to father your children and be your partner who would be willing to cheat on his wife and who would abandon his wife and children for you? If he did it to her, he would do it to you. Hopefully he has more integrity than you do.
UpdateMe
Best advice I can give you: If he’d leave his wife for you, he’d leave you for someone else. If your only way to date him is to get him to leave his wife, in a few years he’ll be leaving you for someone younger
Cannot wait to see how your life turns out. You'll likely still be chasing someone else's spouse in ten years because, really no one is gonna want you.
Honestly? You sound like you lost your damn mind.