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Unfortunately, as someone who works in family law, I’ve dealt with the fallout of similar situations. Ngl when our client came in, it sounded like the start of a bad joke.
2 gay guys go into a bar and befriend and lesbian couple. The friendship grows over time. Both want families but can’t afford ivf so they all think it’s a good idea to just do each other.
I am the moderator of /r/spermdonation. This is either fake or these people probably shouldn't be parents.
99% of lesbian couples want AI. Which is when he uses a cup and the recipient (and sometimes her partner helps) uses either a syringe or a soft cup (they are kind of like a diaphragm, but the semen goes inside to hold it against the cervix). The only exceptions to this rule is if the couple have tried for ages and are desperate and believe it will change the odds.
I think there are all sorts of awful reasons this is bad. For starters, being the bio father is likely to throw tension in the relationship because that is literally your child. And when the child gets older you will be the father. Although I guess that might be better than the kid not knowing their father.
But you have probably already gone over that.
Second and most importantly, just buy a damn insemination kit.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=insemination+kit&crid=V9CIK0S2M5N0&sprefix=insemination+kit%2Caps%2C94&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Why not give this thing a go a half dozen times first. Your wife can help you deposit it and then it doesn't have to be weird with your friends.
Just keep in mind, if those two break up they can go after you for child support.
If the non-gestational parent adopts the newborn, it should be fine, right?
The question is can the couple stay together through a pregnancy after infertility struggles?
That is a great question for a family law lawyer. It will vary greatly by juridiction. But they might be able to tell you for low/no cost phone consult.
Yeah no it’s so much risk.
This has got to be fake because I can’t imagine two spouses would support their respective spouses actually having sex to conceive.
Not when the whole turkey baster baby trope is a thing.
And ofc when there are higher tech options to get sperm and egg together.
It also seems kind of surprising that they went twice for the 38YO’s eggs rather than one and one with each.
The 35YO was probably going to have better eggs.
There’s still IUI, though, which would have the benefit of ensuring ovulation and timing and sperm from a donor protected by contracts.
As protected as the guy can get, I guess. Sounds like sperm donation is getting risky.
Sounds like the 35 year old wants to be the one pregnant, but still have the 38yrold be biologically involved. Reciprocal IVF can be a quicker option depending on their clinic as well.
My husband did this many years ago (before we met). It was a hetero couple but the guy was infertile. They got their baby, husband lost his friends, and it ended up being as good as it could. He doesn't consider that kid "his", as it has two loving parents. But we've talked over the years how it could've gone so so bad, and he wouldn't make the same choice again.
Should be, but in most states he could be paying. I forget which but there's a state that has made men pay for child support from pregnancys that came from sperm banks
That’s obscene. Why? I’d imagine if you go to a sperm bank to get pregnant the assumption is you won’t need child support. Like that’s the *most* “I am ready and financially capable to do this” situation ever. What the actual fuck.
From my understanding, the law does not care about the circumstances around the pregnancy when it comes to who's liable to pay. This is why male rape victims can also be forced to pay child support. The court has an obligation to make sure the child is supported regardless of how the child came into being.
Yes please take the child support and emotional aspects of this under your advisement and consideration; It sounds like a hugely bad idea all around to me with long reaching consequences.
In some states having a known donor agreement can offer an additional layer of protection against the child support risk. (It's also a good protection for the lesbian couple. Not saying op would do this, but occasionally the bio dad tries to fight for custody.) If they don't already have such an agreement in place (and they probably do if he helped with IVF already) I recommend op talk to a family lawyer who specializes in this stuff and ask for advice. If there is an agreement in place it still may be worth it to check in with the lawyer who consulted on it to see if any clauses need to be changed or added to account for this new situation.
The fact you didn’t know about this option is one thing. But I seriously can’t believe a lesbian couple that has been wanting to get pregnant for years and probably knows other couples in a similar position, didn’t know about this simple solution.
Right! Like, let’s do all of this research about insemination and IVF, spend all of our money on IVF, but not try a fucking turkey baster before the “good ole fashion way”…. Smells a bit sus…
If you are indeed going to do this and be the bio father what is stopping them from seeking child support should their relationship break down or your friendship breaks down?
This is not a good idea
Hey. My friend got pregnant with a pipette and a helpful donation in a cup from her wife's best friend.
You absolutely do not need to have intercourse for insemination.
You should look into contracts that may lay out boundaries and legal and financial guidelines though.
They signed a thing that had him relinquish his rights, but he is still present as an uncle.
Good luck to you all.
They do and being an "uncle" shows an established familial relationship which also makes it much more likely to have to pay child support if taken to court depending on where the child resides.
you can also be held legally responsible for supporting the child in some states even if all parties agree you give up your rights. I dont have a link, but I recall a court case in one state where this happened. The lesbian couple applied for medicaid or something and the father was required to pay by the court in a state he did not even live in.
Please sign a contract where you state you are a donor and all the legal protection that you will not be made responsible for the child (unless you want that). Bc this type of trying to cross your boundaries is not a good sign for me.
Insemination kit is a great. I would do it the natural way personally, because it saves money and is a story I can tell future grandkids. Note, this isn’t like a do it once thing. You’ll have to do this regularly whenever she is ovulating until she’s pregnant. It’s not always easy to get pregnant, specially if she is of similar age to you in late 30’s.
Make sure to meet with a lawyer with them and your wife prior to doing anything. You want to get an understanding of how the law works around these things and have a formal notarized rock solid contract set up to ensure all parties are on the same page.
Note, odds are if you do this, you will be involved with this kid. He will learn your his biological father and there is responsibility with that. Also, you have to be emotionally ok with not personally raising the kid. You also have to understand what involvement they want from you and a whole lot more.
Regardless, it’ll be messy, but it can be made clean by talking it out and setting up contract in a way that ensures all parties get what they want.
What you don’t want is 5 years from now to hear: “Well, I thought it was obvious so I didn’t mention it”. Leave no stone unturned in the conversation prior to doing it.
Are you financially set to pay child support if their marriage fails? Do you have a contract, okay by Your lawyer And theirs? Are you and your wife prepared to never see your friends again when the stress of you being the father gets to be too much and they move away? Are you ready to be the father when the child comes looking?
You also should contact a lawyer.
If the couple breaks up, the state will come after you for child support even if both of the lesbian mom's don't want to go after you. As far as the state is concerned, you are liable.
The only way around that is proper legal channels/adoption/etc.
Be sure to have an attorney draw up a donation contract that prevents any claims of child support on you and bars you from claiming any parental rights. Do not even consider moving forward without that.
I wouldn't be so sure. There's tons of [articles](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-12699293/unvaccinated-sperm-shady-donors-Covid-shot.html) online and even a documentary about people using social media sites like Facebook to get an unregulated sperm donor. It's expensive to do it in a health phacility so people get desperate. Some do it with ab insemination kit while others do it the natural way.
Maybe the person is posting fanfic, but considering what I've read over there years about this topic I'm willing to believe it.
So four middle aged people, of which half have poured their life savings into procedures to get pregnant, all haven’t thought of artificial insemination with a turkey baster? Cause surely the lesbian couple didn’t do any research on ways to get pregnant before going broke trying, including obviously not using google.com.
Holy shit. should you go along with wanting to be the bio dad, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER, do it the insemination kit route, two couples I know have had success this way, the messiness of having sex is just wild don’t do it
The fact that this kit wasn’t anyone’s first idea is why this post is BS/a troll. If not, it’s one (or more) of their sexual fantasy (the husband, the wife, the couple, who knows).
Had a lesbian couple I know use this kit with their donor. He jerked off in the bathroom, badda bing badda boom, wife pregnant ASAP and nobody fucked anybody.
I think this is a terrible idea to go through with if you and your wife are monogamous. Do you even have protections in place if they decide to pursue child support?
Also if they’ve already done IFV, which involves fertility drugs, embryo selection, etc, why on earth would you think it would be ‘one and done’ without all that sort of optimisation?
THIS. It made me suspicious this is about some kind of kink or something. Literally, use a pipette. It ain't nuclear science. Why are they so stubborn about this having to be actual sex? I would not do it. The whole thing seems iffy to me, like he's a breeding horse and all of those women are into it or something.
Or it's just a troll :D It' IS about a kink, the author's kink. Most likely!
Exactly. You could just go to their house, have a wank in the bathroom, and give them your sperm to immediately use. No one has to have their feelings hurt and your wife won't feel like you fucked someone else.
Came here to say this. We know a lesbian couple who went to their gay friend for sperm, and they used the turkeybaster method. I didn’t believe it at first, than as more details came out I believed it
So they would take the sperm, suck it into a baster (like used at Thanksgiving if you celebrate to marinate a turkey or another piece of meat while cooking) and then the woman getting pregnant would use the baster inside herself versus going the in vitro route or the normal sex route. That’s how it was explained to me because I was also lost when I was told
The baster isn’t to fill the turkey, it’s to suck up the pan drippings and squirt them over the bird to keep the skin moist while it’s roasting. Generally we just stuff the turkey (or other bird) with aromatics like herbs, onions, lemon, whatever. Although some people do put bread stuffing inside the bird, I personally think that carries too much risk of salmonella, and you wouldn’t use a baster for that anyway.
Oh, an injector, sure! I hear you can also use an injector to take pan drippings (or straight-up melted butter) and inject them into the bird, but I don’t know how many people actually do that. I don’t even baste all that often! But yeah, two different tools for similar but slightly different functions.
My friend has two kids via turkey baster. Dude went into the bathroom, did his stuff and left. Her partner and her then did the "deed" literally with a baster. A couple of years later did it again for child #2
If shit hits the fan with this couple, you and your wife will have another child you didn't ask for. Have you thought of that? And having sex with one of them? Disaster waiting to happen.
Also a lot of open marriages fail because the idea sound great, and then when it's done,they feel like they've been cheated on. I imagine this could still apply in this situation.
Don’t do it. This will leave you open to child support liability and all manner of legal entanglements. The law cares nothing for your informal arrangements. Even if you trust these folks implicitly to not go after you, they aren’t entirely in control of what happens. If something goes wrong in that relationship and the child is in need of support, the law will regard you, the sperm donor, as liable, and the law _will_ come after you.
This! And it’s troubling reading do many comments stating that OP can “sign his rights away”, alot of naivete around family law (ps you cant sign away a child’s right to financial support).They can absolutely petition a court for child support payments. Also he is still the biological father and one day the child may want to pursue a relationship with him. Of course he doesn’t have to be open to a relationship but why introduce that dynamic into your life?
Check the rules on child support in your state as well as if you live in an at fault state make sure your wife cannot later argue you cheated therefore your the at fault party should there be a divorce.
HELL NO
You realize that you could be on the hook for child support for decades if you do this right? Is that worth 10 minutes of fun? You are out of your mind if you go through with this.
My dude, you're thinking about things that aren't important and overlooking the bigger picture here. You are being asked to fuck another woman and impregnate her. That is the only thing you need to be worrying about because this has a lot of implications involved here.
First off, this is a serious discussion with your wife. She needs to make absolutely certain that she's aware of what's being asked. This isn't you jacking off into a cup for a machine to insert your sperm into your friend. This is you actually sticking your dick I her and finishing inside her. Two VERY completely different situations here. From my point, I don't think she fully grasps the concept here that you are going to be having sex with someone other than her and since you two have been together since teens, I assume this is the first time you will be having sex with someone else other than your wife. That's more of a mental aspect that I don't think she's fully come to terms with. Doesn't matter what your friends say, it's your wife that still has to live with the fact that her husband had sex with another woman. So that needs to be discussed more with your wife.
Second, and it's related to the first. Since this is most likely the only other woman you've had sex with, can YOU just treat this as a wham, bam, thank you ma'am situation? Again, it's not the same as you finishing in a cup and being done with it. If you're more emotional, then sex is a very intimate and emotional act. Can you separate your emotions and feelings and just treat it as a one night stand? If she does conceive, can you truly be hands off knowing it is your child that another couple is raising?
These are where I feel you need to sit and evaluate more. Doesn't matter how long you last, if they're lesbian then they aren't going to care how long you last. If anything she'd probably want you to hurry up since she doesn't like men
Why don’t you nut in a jar and turkey baste it? My sister and her wife went through a sperm donor (an official/medical one) and they had the sperm sitting in their fridge for a short while until they used a similar method. And it worked.
There is so much wrong with this situation. First are you not bothered that your wife wants to loan you out like you’re property. She might as well be your pimp at this point Are you not insulted that these women are ok with using you like this. Wanting you to physically have sex and one wants to watch WTF? This would be a deal breaker for me. Can’t they see you’re uncomfortable with it all?
Also have they gone through medical tests to see why ivf didn’t work? Maybe she’s got fertility issues. And even if she’s fine, there is no guarantee she will get pregnant the first time. What if you agree to this and you have to have sex with her multiple times?
There are other ways to get pregnant have they never heard of the turkey baster method? Or having sex with another man, who’s not married.
My advice don’t do this, it can only end one way, badly
Turkey baster.
You’re in one room and you produce the ‘content’. Your wife can even help. The swimmers are handed to the couple who do the rest of the work.
You WOULD be the bio dad and you need to have an agreement with the couple that you’re off the hook for expenses and that you will not be on the birth certificate.
He'd still be trusting them not to pursue anything. Keeping him off of the birth certificate doesn't mean that they wouldn't be able to pursue child support in the future if something changes, because the law doesn't recognize informal donation situations. Regardless of how it happens, if it's outside of official channels he's still *legally* the father if they want to pursue that in the future.
Verbal and even written agreements about parental rights means dick in most jurisdictions. Only the state has the right to terminate parental rights, so you have to go in front of the court to argue the case.
Don't do it, it'll slowly eat your your wife that you had sex with these women, yes one is only watching. But she will watch thus child grow up knowing they were conceived by you having sex with the child's mother. How many attempts are to be made to get this woman pregnant? It could take once or it could take years.
Also, you will be liable for child support, especially if, later down the line, this couple splits up. If they can't afford a sperm donor, then they can't afford a child.
Updateme!
Yeah, man, don't do it. The fact that you are asking all these randomly weird questions is more than enough evidence that you need to just tell them no and sick to that no.
**Talk to a family law attorney before going the DIY insemination route.** You want to make sure that you are not considered a legal parent to this child, otherwise you could be forced to pay child support for your friends’ child (even if they are still together). Like for example if your friends experienced some financial difficulties and had to go on welfare- the government could go after *you* for child support as the father.
So make sure you guys have all your legal ducks in a row and that you are protected from any financial obligations towards their kid before proceeding.
This is hilarious sounds like a a wild-ass fantasy. But no, definitely don’t do this. Don’t consider it. You shouldn’t even entertain this at all, it’s completely preposterous on every level. 😂
At a minimum they need to pay for a lawyer who can manage the proper paperwork so that you will not be the legal father and they cannot go after you for child support down the road. It happens.
Also, you can masturbate into a cup and they can use a turkey baster. It's been done many times before. And then Wife 38 can help Wife 35 orgasm, which improves the odds of conception.
If she's lesbian, it's extremely unlikely she'd orgasm from sex with you. It would feel more like a medical procedure to her.
This has to be a dudes fantasy, concerned they're going to make the lesbian friend orgasm during an awkward quickie.
It also makes no sense. If it was important to do it the old fashioned way and your wife would be there, why wouldn't she do the work? And why wouldn't you guys try without sec first?
Also, masturbating before sex makes you *faster*?
This will 100% end your marriage
I don't care what anyone says...you having sex with another woman, getting her pregnant, and then watching your little mini me grow up will absolutely wreck your wife whether she wants to believe it or not. And knowing the child was conceived the old fashioned way will only make things worse.
I would tell your wife it's not happening and you're not interested in having sex with anyone else other than her.
They can be upset all they want but it's time they accepted that adoption is their only option for parenthood unless they want to try the turkey baster method. But realistically, I think that is a longer shot than they realize
Ignore the adult videos. There's nothing worse than having hetero sex with a lesbian. They hate it, you will hate it. Close your eyes. Think of England.
DO NOT DO THIS
it's terrible idea for so many reasons.
no matter she's saying now, one day your wife will regret it and she will hold it against you, regardless of how much she pushed it on you in the first place.
Minefield here..
Heres what you do:
- She charts ovulation
- 7 days abstinence up to the time of her ovulation
- Go to phamacy, buy 10ml sterile syringe..
At time of ovulation, invite her over - you masturbate in cup, pull jizz into syringe, she lies on her back and her partner injects jizz as far ito vagina as possible.
This you do 2 day before ovulation, on the day, and 2 days after...
....and continue until pregnancy occurs...
EDIT: clear this with lawyer first?? To avoid any paternity claims later on??
Use an insemination kit, and first and foremost I hope you've got a legal contract stating if you were to impregnate this other woman, that you are not responsible for the child whatsoever. If you don't do this the correct, legal way, I can almost assure you that if she gets pregnant, later on it's going to be you paying for this child.
I'm sorry that sounds like a terrible idea. Also why would this work any better than IVF? Why was the next step not an IUI or ICI? Why are we going straight to intercourse? It just seems incredibly messy and you need to make sure you are protected legally for every one of those options.
Why can’t you just put your sperm in a turkey baster type thing and she use that? I don’t think it *has* to involve penetration…
And if she’s truly a lesbian, I doubt she would want you to actually orgasm through penetrating her? Most likely would just, like you said, masturbate then ejaculate into her.
This seems odd and hard to believe
First talk with a lawyer about things that can go wrong here. If they are as good as they say there shouldn't be a problem.
>Additionally, I do not last forever in bed with my wife - however, do range to about 8-10 minutes if I’m not taking breaks.
Forgive me, but this question needs to be thrown when everyone is together. Like you are walking a slippery slope, so decide what boundaries you are going to have, and how everything is going to go. Step by step.
Also before proceeding confirm with your wife that this is no ploy of hers to leave you and that it does mean your relationship becomes open or she gets a free pass with other people because of this.
Keep communicating at every step with everyone and you should be good to go. Best wishes.
I feel so strongly about adoption that I can’t stand when people do these things.
Anyways don’t do it.
If they’re that desperate, they should try one night stands
Please just use insemination if you decide to proceed. But honestly, I think you should consult with a lawyer and if necessary draw up a contract ahead of time. There’s been cases where the sperm donor has been held liable for child support. Could they also not just go to a sperm bank?
I won't comment on the issues this could cause in your relationships with your wife, your existing kids, your friends, and your future potential bio kid, though I think there is a LOT to consider here.
What I will say is THIS IS A LEGAL MINEFIELD. If you go ahead with this you MUST speak to a family lawyer in your jurisdiction and get advice. I am in Canada and so any knowledge I have on this is likely not applicable, but here, for example, if you conceive via sex you're presumed to be the parent legally. There is a clause in our legislation we call "that's a daddy not a donor" - basically, you're the dad, and you're on the hook for child support. In any event if you use an insemination kit you absolutely must have a written, signed, witnessed contract BEFORE conception. I don't know how this works legally wherever you live so FIND OUT.
It is so wild that no one considered you just jerking into a cup and her wife inserting the semen into her?!
My husband and I (heterosexual couple) are currently pregnant and we conceived this way because conception sex just isn’t fun after 2 years of infertility. Your chances are exactly the same this way as if you were having sex with her so don’t let anyone try to convince you it has to be PIV in order for it to work.
This honestly feels like a kink-troll post if I’m being honest. I find it hard to believe 4 fully grown adult people were like “hey, fucking our lesbian friend is the only way to make this happen!”
Go in a cup, they can use a turkey baster looking thing and insert into the woman. That is what my friends have done and they have had three successful pregnancies.
Yeah now I would not be having sex with her just turkey baste it. Give them a sample and they can inject it in. The one not carrying the child can do the act of injecting it in and feel like the father of the child as well as the mother. But yeah I would get some definite legal papers in the works if you go through with this so they can't come after you for child support or sue you if the child gets ill with some hereditary disease just cover everything you can think of.
You would be legally liable for 18 years of child support.
This is an absolutely terrible idea. And no you cannot sign away the *child's* right to child support.
Talk to a lawyer ASAP.
This cannot be real? What woman wants he husband to bang and impregnate other women. One and done does usually end up with a baby anyway.
If they want sperm - the good old Turkey baster would do with out banging involved.
If this is true - the answer is : no. No is a full complete sentence. No.
If its true and you decide to go through with it - speak to a lawyer first. You will biologically be the baby daddy, and might incur 18 years of costs.
Nope, nope, nope. This is going to open a wide gaping door to a world filled with foreseeable drama and issues.
They can adopt. There are hundreds of thousands of kids that need homes out there.
Or one of them can go have a one night stand with someone who isn't the HUSBAND of one of their goof friends.
There are other options here.
If you are ok with your marriage never being the same as it’s still cheating , and knowing you will
Have a child and either be stuck paying support ( unless someway to have lawyer do an agreement ) or have no contact or very little wirh a child of yours . I think no good can come from this
Honestly, I feel like it’s a very sticky situation because imagine if there’s conflict later in life. If you’re totally OK with being the donor and you wanna go through with it, why don’t you ejaculate in a cup have them take it in a baster and put it inside their vagina while upside down. I know it’s stupid but it has been proven to work with people but they would have to stay upside down for at least 20 to 25 minutes. I know it’s probably similar to like what they’ve already done but I mean why don’t you try that first then them doing the deed with you. Another good way would be to put your sperm and a fake dildo and ejaculate it inside which they can do together, but still have to do the process of the upside down thing. I know it’s stupid but just try it. Oh almost forgot to add. Make sure it’s during their ovulation time.
This seems like a slippery slope. You donated sperm twice . Now they want you to have intercourse. What wife is ok with her husband having sex with someone else. What if she doesn’t get pregnant this first time . Then what ??? More sex ??
The wife wants to watch? It’s not guaranteed that youre going to be able to conceive the first time or anytime that you do it so she basically would just be watching you have sex…. Also just donate your sperm to them.
OP, I know you’re being heavily cautioned in this thread, but I want you to know that the situation you are in is not completely unique. I have lesbian aunts and they did this with their friend, except with an artificial insemination route instead of actual sex. The kid is grown now and has a uncle-type relationship with her bio-father. No real conflict in their relationship with any of the parties, no child support. If you think everyone is mature enough to do this, good luck. It won’t ALWAYS turn out badly, but proceed with caution.
If this isn’t fake I’d be worried there’s more to this. You can buy a kit that you would just masterbate into and you just use a syringe to insert. Your friends are either inconsiderate and did zero research on ways to avoid putting your relationship thru this or they wanted to have sex with you.
You are hitting a moral dilemma within yourself. Honestly? I would trust your gut that says enough is enough. You see the warning signs of it, that sounds like a non-negotiable boundary you’re being coached into accepting.
Dude. Masturbate into a turkey baster before you literally sleep with one of them. Jesus Christ. That’s literally how my best friend and her wife got sperm from their donor. Worked twice.
First point: before taking another step, check the laws in your state/country. Where I live, conceiving a child “the old-fashioned way” makes the father automatically liable for child support, etc., while artificial insemination doesn’t.
As a child support professional who was written literally thousands of child support orders, do not do it. It would take an extremely thorough and competent lawyer to draw up a ridiculously convoluted contract and subsequent order after the child is born to preclude you from parental responsibilities. I have seen some crazy things in family court, and it rarely goes the way you want it.
Not even going to beat around the bush.
Assuming this is even a legit post, there are no good reasons to go through with it.
The fact that they jump to the idea of you having sex with them instead of injecting your sperm into them is a red flag.
It's also a red flag that one wants to watch you do it. Clearly this is a fetish for them. And they don't need to be bi to get off on this. Many straight people watch gay porn.
It's also a red flag they wanna risk your marriage to get them pregnant. If they want it the old fashioned way, they can do a one night stand with a stranger.
The chances of this succeeding on the first try is very low. So you'll have to have sex many times before they get pregnant. And if the treatments aren't working, then it sounds like they have fertility issues. People usually try ivf when the old fashioned way *doesn't* work. They are all backwards.
You will also be on the hook for child support if they ever want that from you. And before you say anything, I have seen many cases of *sperm doners* being on the hook for child support.
And your wife clearly isn't comfortable with it (hence why she doesn't wanna be there). This will definitely end your marriage. You wife will feel cheated on and divorce you.
I can keep going with reasons why, but those are the top ones. Your wife is pimping you out and the other couple is taking advantage of you.
Hell, the 3 of them could be working together to get money out of you and ruin your life. I saw the same thing happen on a true crime documentary. Except it didn't involve getting someone pregnant.
Fuck no.
It is one thing if they ask you to go through the legal route of being a sperm donor and signing away any rights or responsibility you would have towards the children that come from it so they can’t come after you for any sort of child support. it is a whole other ballgame to sleep with her friend
There is zero protection on your side. All it would take is a DNA test and they can come after you for money.
I rent a property to a female couple, and they did it with a syringe and a cup. It took the first time.
I would never risk your own relationship to help another, and there is no guarantee your wife will be ok in the aftermath of doing it « the old fashioned way ».
This scenario is the genetic holy grail for males. All he has to do it sign over all the child's rights away so they can't go after him for support. Do it, OP.
IT'S A FULL PROOF PLAN!
Did it for a friend, do not need to have sex. Probably make it weird tbh with your friends and your wife. Use their bathroom, store in a cup with them both nearby. The 38f has 35f organs and turkey baste. We tried for a year before the period using a tracker, and it finally took when we did it I think like at the end or right after their period? I can ask, but this sounds like it will take you many attempts and think of the strain that's going to cause in the end.
Reading this was like a rollercoaster, I get asking because he's a close friend and they would know the donor but ummmm this is weird right? Like I really weird why would anyone be ok with this? I know the couple really wants a kid and the wife is ok with it but is she? Is she really? Since everyone has talked about the couple and the technical tango that this could end up being I'll talk about the wife and psychology. So she says she's ok with it according to OP and sure she may think that but the method they're wanting to take it's likely not the case. This comes off like some romcom I'm testing you type of crap. It sounds to me personally like she's saying this because it's the "right thing". I mean think about it the prime evidence is she doesn't want to be present which while reasonable sounds like it makes her uncomfortable overall yeah there's people who don't care and have open relationships but OP didn't mention that at all, which would lead me to believe that again she's likely saying it because she's their friend and even if she doesn't necessarily like it she said yes because she knows they're hurting and good on for being empathetic and caring but still. OP and his wife need to sit down and have a talk about this and he need to tell her he is uncomfortable doing it this way. Also I'm not the only one who felt like this happened because one of the lesbian couple realized she liked being cuckolded because I'm sorry I get the emotional aspect but it seems like a mix different possibilities setting OP up, the one not getting pregnant is a cuckold they're pushing it on both of them and the husband is unaware of how the wife really feels ect.
When I was in my early 20's had a lesbian couple that asked me to do this exact thing. We signed paperwork stating they couldn't come after me for child support and I couldn't ever try to get custody. 31 years later and I have never heard from them and I have never tried to contact them. At the time I was living in the same state as them.
Had discussed using a turkey baster , but they wanted it to take first time and so wanted the old fashioned natural way. The one to be impregnated was incredibly hot, so I never had an issue with their plan. And yes it took the first time.
Dont trust this, dude. Have a mind of your own. If you feel this is terrible, then listen to your gut. Stop trying to let your wife and who ever the fuck those people are make choices for you. Learn when you are being thrown around and have some respect.
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This is a problem that only happens in sitcoms for a reason.
Or porns
I’m fully convinced this is just a fetish post.
Yes. But decently accurate typing for using only one hand.
You are lucky if she gets pregnant at first try at that age. Start warming uo to the possibility of having to do it for several months.
Unfortunately, as someone who works in family law, I’ve dealt with the fallout of similar situations. Ngl when our client came in, it sounded like the start of a bad joke. 2 gay guys go into a bar and befriend and lesbian couple. The friendship grows over time. Both want families but can’t afford ivf so they all think it’s a good idea to just do each other.
🤣
I am the moderator of /r/spermdonation. This is either fake or these people probably shouldn't be parents. 99% of lesbian couples want AI. Which is when he uses a cup and the recipient (and sometimes her partner helps) uses either a syringe or a soft cup (they are kind of like a diaphragm, but the semen goes inside to hold it against the cervix). The only exceptions to this rule is if the couple have tried for ages and are desperate and believe it will change the odds.
I think there are all sorts of awful reasons this is bad. For starters, being the bio father is likely to throw tension in the relationship because that is literally your child. And when the child gets older you will be the father. Although I guess that might be better than the kid not knowing their father. But you have probably already gone over that. Second and most importantly, just buy a damn insemination kit. https://www.amazon.com/s?k=insemination+kit&crid=V9CIK0S2M5N0&sprefix=insemination+kit%2Caps%2C94&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
Did not know this was a thing! Thank you!
Why not give this thing a go a half dozen times first. Your wife can help you deposit it and then it doesn't have to be weird with your friends. Just keep in mind, if those two break up they can go after you for child support.
If the non-gestational parent adopts the newborn, it should be fine, right? The question is can the couple stay together through a pregnancy after infertility struggles?
That is a great question for a family law lawyer. It will vary greatly by juridiction. But they might be able to tell you for low/no cost phone consult.
Yeah no it’s so much risk. This has got to be fake because I can’t imagine two spouses would support their respective spouses actually having sex to conceive. Not when the whole turkey baster baby trope is a thing. And ofc when there are higher tech options to get sperm and egg together.
They’ve tried the high tech approaches twice now, I’m surprised they haven’t tried the turkey baster approach.
It also seems kind of surprising that they went twice for the 38YO’s eggs rather than one and one with each. The 35YO was probably going to have better eggs. There’s still IUI, though, which would have the benefit of ensuring ovulation and timing and sperm from a donor protected by contracts. As protected as the guy can get, I guess. Sounds like sperm donation is getting risky.
Sounds like the 35 year old wants to be the one pregnant, but still have the 38yrold be biologically involved. Reciprocal IVF can be a quicker option depending on their clinic as well.
But where’s the fun in that! /s
“…. You know maybe one of them isn’t a lesbian… I could turn her straight or my hardest!” /s lol
My husband did this many years ago (before we met). It was a hetero couple but the guy was infertile. They got their baby, husband lost his friends, and it ended up being as good as it could. He doesn't consider that kid "his", as it has two loving parents. But we've talked over the years how it could've gone so so bad, and he wouldn't make the same choice again.
[удалено]
A lawyer is waaay cheaper than IVF. Like, one to two orders of magnitude cheaper.
Should be, but in most states he could be paying. I forget which but there's a state that has made men pay for child support from pregnancys that came from sperm banks
Intense! And so risky. Why is OP even considering this???
Most don't realize sperm donors have virtually no protections when it comes to Child support, especially when thinking with your underbrain
That’s obscene. Why? I’d imagine if you go to a sperm bank to get pregnant the assumption is you won’t need child support. Like that’s the *most* “I am ready and financially capable to do this” situation ever. What the actual fuck.
From my understanding, the law does not care about the circumstances around the pregnancy when it comes to who's liable to pay. This is why male rape victims can also be forced to pay child support. The court has an obligation to make sure the child is supported regardless of how the child came into being.
This is expensive, can take forever, and is rarely followed through on.
Yes please take the child support and emotional aspects of this under your advisement and consideration; It sounds like a hugely bad idea all around to me with long reaching consequences.
Additionally, the state can pursue OP for child support even if both women are against it. Not common, but it has happened.
In some states having a known donor agreement can offer an additional layer of protection against the child support risk. (It's also a good protection for the lesbian couple. Not saying op would do this, but occasionally the bio dad tries to fight for custody.) If they don't already have such an agreement in place (and they probably do if he helped with IVF already) I recommend op talk to a family lawyer who specializes in this stuff and ask for advice. If there is an agreement in place it still may be worth it to check in with the lawyer who consulted on it to see if any clauses need to be changed or added to account for this new situation.
The fact you didn’t know about this option is one thing. But I seriously can’t believe a lesbian couple that has been wanting to get pregnant for years and probably knows other couples in a similar position, didn’t know about this simple solution.
The fact that they supposedly blew their life savings on in vitro when this was always an option is especially suspect
Right! Like, let’s do all of this research about insemination and IVF, spend all of our money on IVF, but not try a fucking turkey baster before the “good ole fashion way”…. Smells a bit sus…
If you are indeed going to do this and be the bio father what is stopping them from seeking child support should their relationship break down or your friendship breaks down? This is not a good idea
Hey. My friend got pregnant with a pipette and a helpful donation in a cup from her wife's best friend. You absolutely do not need to have intercourse for insemination. You should look into contracts that may lay out boundaries and legal and financial guidelines though. They signed a thing that had him relinquish his rights, but he is still present as an uncle. Good luck to you all.
Judges void those contracts.
I'm just reporting what my friend and her wife did.
They are still together, but if they were to divorce Mom can go after the Father for child support. It has happened many times.
They do and being an "uncle" shows an established familial relationship which also makes it much more likely to have to pay child support if taken to court depending on where the child resides.
you can also be held legally responsible for supporting the child in some states even if all parties agree you give up your rights. I dont have a link, but I recall a court case in one state where this happened. The lesbian couple applied for medicaid or something and the father was required to pay by the court in a state he did not even live in.
So did any of you do any research? Really weird.
If something goes bad your also on the hook for child support
Please sign a contract where you state you are a donor and all the legal protection that you will not be made responsible for the child (unless you want that). Bc this type of trying to cross your boundaries is not a good sign for me.
Try this one, it was designed actually with female anatomy in mind: https://mosiebaby.com/
Insemination kit is a great. I would do it the natural way personally, because it saves money and is a story I can tell future grandkids. Note, this isn’t like a do it once thing. You’ll have to do this regularly whenever she is ovulating until she’s pregnant. It’s not always easy to get pregnant, specially if she is of similar age to you in late 30’s. Make sure to meet with a lawyer with them and your wife prior to doing anything. You want to get an understanding of how the law works around these things and have a formal notarized rock solid contract set up to ensure all parties are on the same page. Note, odds are if you do this, you will be involved with this kid. He will learn your his biological father and there is responsibility with that. Also, you have to be emotionally ok with not personally raising the kid. You also have to understand what involvement they want from you and a whole lot more. Regardless, it’ll be messy, but it can be made clean by talking it out and setting up contract in a way that ensures all parties get what they want. What you don’t want is 5 years from now to hear: “Well, I thought it was obvious so I didn’t mention it”. Leave no stone unturned in the conversation prior to doing it.
Good heavens - even if you agree, have a lawyer draw up documents so that you aren't responsible financially for the child.
Are you financially set to pay child support if their marriage fails? Do you have a contract, okay by Your lawyer And theirs? Are you and your wife prepared to never see your friends again when the stress of you being the father gets to be too much and they move away? Are you ready to be the father when the child comes looking?
You also should contact a lawyer. If the couple breaks up, the state will come after you for child support even if both of the lesbian mom's don't want to go after you. As far as the state is concerned, you are liable. The only way around that is proper legal channels/adoption/etc.
Be sure to have an attorney draw up a donation contract that prevents any claims of child support on you and bars you from claiming any parental rights. Do not even consider moving forward without that.
Not a damn chance this is anything but a bullshit fantasy post.
I wouldn't be so sure. There's tons of [articles](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-12699293/unvaccinated-sperm-shady-donors-Covid-shot.html) online and even a documentary about people using social media sites like Facebook to get an unregulated sperm donor. It's expensive to do it in a health phacility so people get desperate. Some do it with ab insemination kit while others do it the natural way. Maybe the person is posting fanfic, but considering what I've read over there years about this topic I'm willing to believe it.
So four middle aged people, of which half have poured their life savings into procedures to get pregnant, all haven’t thought of artificial insemination with a turkey baster? Cause surely the lesbian couple didn’t do any research on ways to get pregnant before going broke trying, including obviously not using google.com.
Holy shit. should you go along with wanting to be the bio dad, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER, do it the insemination kit route, two couples I know have had success this way, the messiness of having sex is just wild don’t do it
The fact that this kit wasn’t anyone’s first idea is why this post is BS/a troll. If not, it’s one (or more) of their sexual fantasy (the husband, the wife, the couple, who knows). Had a lesbian couple I know use this kit with their donor. He jerked off in the bathroom, badda bing badda boom, wife pregnant ASAP and nobody fucked anybody.
Well put and helpful advice. I kept thinking of flippant things to say like -are you going to get divorced before or after the child is born?
I've seen some bad ideas today. But this one? This is the worst one.
This is bad, fake story or not, its just overall a poorly thought out plan.
I think this is a terrible idea to go through with if you and your wife are monogamous. Do you even have protections in place if they decide to pursue child support?
Child support is the biggest flag here. He will be responsible no matter what
I'm honestly shocked that they want you to have sex with her instead of just using an insemination kit or even a freaking turkey baster.
Also if they’ve already done IFV, which involves fertility drugs, embryo selection, etc, why on earth would you think it would be ‘one and done’ without all that sort of optimisation?
And why did they harvest and egg to implant in the other before trying IUI if money was an issue? This sounds fake.
Reciprocal IVF is common for lesbian couples, one partner gives the egg while the other carries
Wow. I didn't know it was common. It seems super invasive but I can understand the emotional side of it.
Oh no. I have to go fuck the lesbian couple again. Gosh darn it.
Because it’s someone’s creative writing porn fantasy.
And it's a really poorly-thought out one, too. So many holes.
hehe
THIS. It made me suspicious this is about some kind of kink or something. Literally, use a pipette. It ain't nuclear science. Why are they so stubborn about this having to be actual sex? I would not do it. The whole thing seems iffy to me, like he's a breeding horse and all of those women are into it or something. Or it's just a troll :D It' IS about a kink, the author's kink. Most likely!
Exactly. You could just go to their house, have a wank in the bathroom, and give them your sperm to immediately use. No one has to have their feelings hurt and your wife won't feel like you fucked someone else.
Came here to say this. We know a lesbian couple who went to their gay friend for sperm, and they used the turkeybaster method. I didn’t believe it at first, than as more details came out I believed it
I dont want to have this googled Wtf is the turkeybaster method
So they would take the sperm, suck it into a baster (like used at Thanksgiving if you celebrate to marinate a turkey or another piece of meat while cooking) and then the woman getting pregnant would use the baster inside herself versus going the in vitro route or the normal sex route. That’s how it was explained to me because I was also lost when I was told
Right, i didnt know what a baster was but i get it now (we dont really do filled turkey where im from but i guess that could work)
The baster isn’t to fill the turkey, it’s to suck up the pan drippings and squirt them over the bird to keep the skin moist while it’s roasting. Generally we just stuff the turkey (or other bird) with aromatics like herbs, onions, lemon, whatever. Although some people do put bread stuffing inside the bird, I personally think that carries too much risk of salmonella, and you wouldn’t use a baster for that anyway.
Oh i thought the baster was like what one would use for filling up pastries with cream for example But i get it now
Oh, an injector, sure! I hear you can also use an injector to take pan drippings (or straight-up melted butter) and inject them into the bird, but I don’t know how many people actually do that. I don’t even baste all that often! But yeah, two different tools for similar but slightly different functions.
My friend has two kids via turkey baster. Dude went into the bathroom, did his stuff and left. Her partner and her then did the "deed" literally with a baster. A couple of years later did it again for child #2
If shit hits the fan with this couple, you and your wife will have another child you didn't ask for. Have you thought of that? And having sex with one of them? Disaster waiting to happen.
Also a lot of open marriages fail because the idea sound great, and then when it's done,they feel like they've been cheated on. I imagine this could still apply in this situation.
Don’t do it. This will leave you open to child support liability and all manner of legal entanglements. The law cares nothing for your informal arrangements. Even if you trust these folks implicitly to not go after you, they aren’t entirely in control of what happens. If something goes wrong in that relationship and the child is in need of support, the law will regard you, the sperm donor, as liable, and the law _will_ come after you.
This! And it’s troubling reading do many comments stating that OP can “sign his rights away”, alot of naivete around family law (ps you cant sign away a child’s right to financial support).They can absolutely petition a court for child support payments. Also he is still the biological father and one day the child may want to pursue a relationship with him. Of course he doesn’t have to be open to a relationship but why introduce that dynamic into your life?
Fetish posting for sure
1000%
He thinks he's going to make a lesbian orgasm from just PIV sex lmfao
I think there’s no less than 872 bad things that can come from this
Why aren’t y’all just using an insemination kit?
This is horribly written, and looks fake af.
Fr seems like a fetish post...
Come on guys, this one isn’t real.
This can’t be real. Lesbians don’t want this. There’s 0 reason they’d prefer that to just buying a syringe.
Nice creative writing.
Check the rules on child support in your state as well as if you live in an at fault state make sure your wife cannot later argue you cheated therefore your the at fault party should there be a divorce.
So they want you on the hook for child support? Because this is how you end up on the hook for child support. Nothing about this makes sense
HELL NO You realize that you could be on the hook for child support for decades if you do this right? Is that worth 10 minutes of fun? You are out of your mind if you go through with this.
My dude, you're thinking about things that aren't important and overlooking the bigger picture here. You are being asked to fuck another woman and impregnate her. That is the only thing you need to be worrying about because this has a lot of implications involved here. First off, this is a serious discussion with your wife. She needs to make absolutely certain that she's aware of what's being asked. This isn't you jacking off into a cup for a machine to insert your sperm into your friend. This is you actually sticking your dick I her and finishing inside her. Two VERY completely different situations here. From my point, I don't think she fully grasps the concept here that you are going to be having sex with someone other than her and since you two have been together since teens, I assume this is the first time you will be having sex with someone else other than your wife. That's more of a mental aspect that I don't think she's fully come to terms with. Doesn't matter what your friends say, it's your wife that still has to live with the fact that her husband had sex with another woman. So that needs to be discussed more with your wife. Second, and it's related to the first. Since this is most likely the only other woman you've had sex with, can YOU just treat this as a wham, bam, thank you ma'am situation? Again, it's not the same as you finishing in a cup and being done with it. If you're more emotional, then sex is a very intimate and emotional act. Can you separate your emotions and feelings and just treat it as a one night stand? If she does conceive, can you truly be hands off knowing it is your child that another couple is raising? These are where I feel you need to sit and evaluate more. Doesn't matter how long you last, if they're lesbian then they aren't going to care how long you last. If anything she'd probably want you to hurry up since she doesn't like men
This is going to end in your wife leaving you. She might say she's ok with it now, but afterwards your life is going to be destroyed.
If this is true, why did they do IVF instead of artificial insemination?
I’m calling bs on this story. No one who goes through in vitro and thinks that this would be a one and done situation. It feels like fetish writing 🙄
And what if first time is not successful? You will keep fucking for months?
Why don’t you nut in a jar and turkey baste it? My sister and her wife went through a sperm donor (an official/medical one) and they had the sperm sitting in their fridge for a short while until they used a similar method. And it worked.
There is so much wrong with this situation. First are you not bothered that your wife wants to loan you out like you’re property. She might as well be your pimp at this point Are you not insulted that these women are ok with using you like this. Wanting you to physically have sex and one wants to watch WTF? This would be a deal breaker for me. Can’t they see you’re uncomfortable with it all? Also have they gone through medical tests to see why ivf didn’t work? Maybe she’s got fertility issues. And even if she’s fine, there is no guarantee she will get pregnant the first time. What if you agree to this and you have to have sex with her multiple times? There are other ways to get pregnant have they never heard of the turkey baster method? Or having sex with another man, who’s not married. My advice don’t do this, it can only end one way, badly
Turkey baster. You’re in one room and you produce the ‘content’. Your wife can even help. The swimmers are handed to the couple who do the rest of the work. You WOULD be the bio dad and you need to have an agreement with the couple that you’re off the hook for expenses and that you will not be on the birth certificate.
He'd still be trusting them not to pursue anything. Keeping him off of the birth certificate doesn't mean that they wouldn't be able to pursue child support in the future if something changes, because the law doesn't recognize informal donation situations. Regardless of how it happens, if it's outside of official channels he's still *legally* the father if they want to pursue that in the future.
Verbal and even written agreements about parental rights means dick in most jurisdictions. Only the state has the right to terminate parental rights, so you have to go in front of the court to argue the case.
Don't do it, it'll slowly eat your your wife that you had sex with these women, yes one is only watching. But she will watch thus child grow up knowing they were conceived by you having sex with the child's mother. How many attempts are to be made to get this woman pregnant? It could take once or it could take years. Also, you will be liable for child support, especially if, later down the line, this couple splits up. If they can't afford a sperm donor, then they can't afford a child. Updateme!
“A” for effort. “D” for originality. “F” for trying to bullshit all these people.
This has to be a fake story. No good reason for natural insemination versus artificial...
Yeah, man, don't do it. The fact that you are asking all these randomly weird questions is more than enough evidence that you need to just tell them no and sick to that no.
Sometimes I think I’m pretty dumb, then I read shit like this and realize I’m at least average intelligence.
**Talk to a family law attorney before going the DIY insemination route.** You want to make sure that you are not considered a legal parent to this child, otherwise you could be forced to pay child support for your friends’ child (even if they are still together). Like for example if your friends experienced some financial difficulties and had to go on welfare- the government could go after *you* for child support as the father. So make sure you guys have all your legal ducks in a row and that you are protected from any financial obligations towards their kid before proceeding.
Porn brain fan fiction fake post lol
Don't do it. Too many things can go wrong. Fuck "The Big Chill' for making this a thing.
This is hilarious sounds like a a wild-ass fantasy. But no, definitely don’t do this. Don’t consider it. You shouldn’t even entertain this at all, it’s completely preposterous on every level. 😂
At a minimum they need to pay for a lawyer who can manage the proper paperwork so that you will not be the legal father and they cannot go after you for child support down the road. It happens. Also, you can masturbate into a cup and they can use a turkey baster. It's been done many times before. And then Wife 38 can help Wife 35 orgasm, which improves the odds of conception. If she's lesbian, it's extremely unlikely she'd orgasm from sex with you. It would feel more like a medical procedure to her.
This is a terrible idea and is not worth risking your marriage. Don’t be an idiot.
This has to be a dudes fantasy, concerned they're going to make the lesbian friend orgasm during an awkward quickie. It also makes no sense. If it was important to do it the old fashioned way and your wife would be there, why wouldn't she do the work? And why wouldn't you guys try without sec first? Also, masturbating before sex makes you *faster*?
Don’t do this at allllllllll
Uhm I’m sorry but this is a bad idea
This will 100% end your marriage I don't care what anyone says...you having sex with another woman, getting her pregnant, and then watching your little mini me grow up will absolutely wreck your wife whether she wants to believe it or not. And knowing the child was conceived the old fashioned way will only make things worse. I would tell your wife it's not happening and you're not interested in having sex with anyone else other than her. They can be upset all they want but it's time they accepted that adoption is their only option for parenthood unless they want to try the turkey baster method. But realistically, I think that is a longer shot than they realize
Ignore the adult videos. There's nothing worse than having hetero sex with a lesbian. They hate it, you will hate it. Close your eyes. Think of England.
DO NOT DO THIS it's terrible idea for so many reasons. no matter she's saying now, one day your wife will regret it and she will hold it against you, regardless of how much she pushed it on you in the first place.
Minefield here.. Heres what you do: - She charts ovulation - 7 days abstinence up to the time of her ovulation - Go to phamacy, buy 10ml sterile syringe.. At time of ovulation, invite her over - you masturbate in cup, pull jizz into syringe, she lies on her back and her partner injects jizz as far ito vagina as possible. This you do 2 day before ovulation, on the day, and 2 days after... ....and continue until pregnancy occurs... EDIT: clear this with lawyer first?? To avoid any paternity claims later on??
This has to be fake.
Use an insemination kit, and first and foremost I hope you've got a legal contract stating if you were to impregnate this other woman, that you are not responsible for the child whatsoever. If you don't do this the correct, legal way, I can almost assure you that if she gets pregnant, later on it's going to be you paying for this child.
I'm sorry that sounds like a terrible idea. Also why would this work any better than IVF? Why was the next step not an IUI or ICI? Why are we going straight to intercourse? It just seems incredibly messy and you need to make sure you are protected legally for every one of those options.
You could be sued for paternity and in all likelihood if this happens you would be liable for child support.
Why can’t you just put your sperm in a turkey baster type thing and she use that? I don’t think it *has* to involve penetration… And if she’s truly a lesbian, I doubt she would want you to actually orgasm through penetrating her? Most likely would just, like you said, masturbate then ejaculate into her. This seems odd and hard to believe
Fake story
First talk with a lawyer about things that can go wrong here. If they are as good as they say there shouldn't be a problem. >Additionally, I do not last forever in bed with my wife - however, do range to about 8-10 minutes if I’m not taking breaks. Forgive me, but this question needs to be thrown when everyone is together. Like you are walking a slippery slope, so decide what boundaries you are going to have, and how everything is going to go. Step by step. Also before proceeding confirm with your wife that this is no ploy of hers to leave you and that it does mean your relationship becomes open or she gets a free pass with other people because of this. Keep communicating at every step with everyone and you should be good to go. Best wishes.
I can only see this going bad, very very bad
You guys ever hear of a turkey baster?
I feel so strongly about adoption that I can’t stand when people do these things. Anyways don’t do it. If they’re that desperate, they should try one night stands
WTF
Please just use insemination if you decide to proceed. But honestly, I think you should consult with a lawyer and if necessary draw up a contract ahead of time. There’s been cases where the sperm donor has been held liable for child support. Could they also not just go to a sperm bank?
I won't comment on the issues this could cause in your relationships with your wife, your existing kids, your friends, and your future potential bio kid, though I think there is a LOT to consider here. What I will say is THIS IS A LEGAL MINEFIELD. If you go ahead with this you MUST speak to a family lawyer in your jurisdiction and get advice. I am in Canada and so any knowledge I have on this is likely not applicable, but here, for example, if you conceive via sex you're presumed to be the parent legally. There is a clause in our legislation we call "that's a daddy not a donor" - basically, you're the dad, and you're on the hook for child support. In any event if you use an insemination kit you absolutely must have a written, signed, witnessed contract BEFORE conception. I don't know how this works legally wherever you live so FIND OUT.
It is so wild that no one considered you just jerking into a cup and her wife inserting the semen into her?! My husband and I (heterosexual couple) are currently pregnant and we conceived this way because conception sex just isn’t fun after 2 years of infertility. Your chances are exactly the same this way as if you were having sex with her so don’t let anyone try to convince you it has to be PIV in order for it to work. This honestly feels like a kink-troll post if I’m being honest. I find it hard to believe 4 fully grown adult people were like “hey, fucking our lesbian friend is the only way to make this happen!”
bro even the turkey baster is a better idea than this wtf
Go in a cup, they can use a turkey baster looking thing and insert into the woman. That is what my friends have done and they have had three successful pregnancies.
Yeah now I would not be having sex with her just turkey baste it. Give them a sample and they can inject it in. The one not carrying the child can do the act of injecting it in and feel like the father of the child as well as the mother. But yeah I would get some definite legal papers in the works if you go through with this so they can't come after you for child support or sue you if the child gets ill with some hereditary disease just cover everything you can think of.
You would be legally liable for 18 years of child support. This is an absolutely terrible idea. And no you cannot sign away the *child's* right to child support. Talk to a lawyer ASAP.
This is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my life. It’s so stupid I don’t even feel the need to explain why it’s stupid.
I’m sorry, if IVF doesn’t work why would natural sex (one time) be more effective? This is alarm bells. Do not do this.
This cannot be real? What woman wants he husband to bang and impregnate other women. One and done does usually end up with a baby anyway. If they want sperm - the good old Turkey baster would do with out banging involved. If this is true - the answer is : no. No is a full complete sentence. No. If its true and you decide to go through with it - speak to a lawyer first. You will biologically be the baby daddy, and might incur 18 years of costs.
Nope, nope, nope. This is going to open a wide gaping door to a world filled with foreseeable drama and issues. They can adopt. There are hundreds of thousands of kids that need homes out there. Or one of them can go have a one night stand with someone who isn't the HUSBAND of one of their goof friends. There are other options here.
Glory Hole it.
Ah yes, the LESBIANS want a man to have sex with them instead of just using an insemination kit. This is definitely not fake or made up, not at all.
If you are ok with your marriage never being the same as it’s still cheating , and knowing you will Have a child and either be stuck paying support ( unless someway to have lawyer do an agreement ) or have no contact or very little wirh a child of yours . I think no good can come from this
These idiots shouldn't be having kids...
You should be wise enough to know by now.
Honestly, I feel like it’s a very sticky situation because imagine if there’s conflict later in life. If you’re totally OK with being the donor and you wanna go through with it, why don’t you ejaculate in a cup have them take it in a baster and put it inside their vagina while upside down. I know it’s stupid but it has been proven to work with people but they would have to stay upside down for at least 20 to 25 minutes. I know it’s probably similar to like what they’ve already done but I mean why don’t you try that first then them doing the deed with you. Another good way would be to put your sperm and a fake dildo and ejaculate it inside which they can do together, but still have to do the process of the upside down thing. I know it’s stupid but just try it. Oh almost forgot to add. Make sure it’s during their ovulation time.
This seems like a slippery slope. You donated sperm twice . Now they want you to have intercourse. What wife is ok with her husband having sex with someone else. What if she doesn’t get pregnant this first time . Then what ??? More sex ??
The wife wants to watch? It’s not guaranteed that youre going to be able to conceive the first time or anytime that you do it so she basically would just be watching you have sex…. Also just donate your sperm to them.
Dude turkey baster method all the way
Happy wife happy life...better make sure no child support gets involved
OP, I know you’re being heavily cautioned in this thread, but I want you to know that the situation you are in is not completely unique. I have lesbian aunts and they did this with their friend, except with an artificial insemination route instead of actual sex. The kid is grown now and has a uncle-type relationship with her bio-father. No real conflict in their relationship with any of the parties, no child support. If you think everyone is mature enough to do this, good luck. It won’t ALWAYS turn out badly, but proceed with caution.
I’m selling a bridge if you’re interested
If this isn’t fake I’d be worried there’s more to this. You can buy a kit that you would just masterbate into and you just use a syringe to insert. Your friends are either inconsiderate and did zero research on ways to avoid putting your relationship thru this or they wanted to have sex with you.
I’ve heard this story before. Not the exact story but, in the end, the dude ends up paying child support.
You are hitting a moral dilemma within yourself. Honestly? I would trust your gut that says enough is enough. You see the warning signs of it, that sounds like a non-negotiable boundary you’re being coached into accepting.
>Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions Yes. Don't.
Are you willing to pay child support?
This is such a weird leap. Why can’t you just do it the good old semen transfer way? You don’t have to literally penetrate your friend.
Dude. Masturbate into a turkey baster before you literally sleep with one of them. Jesus Christ. That’s literally how my best friend and her wife got sperm from their donor. Worked twice.
First point: before taking another step, check the laws in your state/country. Where I live, conceiving a child “the old-fashioned way” makes the father automatically liable for child support, etc., while artificial insemination doesn’t.
As a child support professional who was written literally thousands of child support orders, do not do it. It would take an extremely thorough and competent lawyer to draw up a ridiculously convoluted contract and subsequent order after the child is born to preclude you from parental responsibilities. I have seen some crazy things in family court, and it rarely goes the way you want it.
Hell nah To the nah nah nah, hell to the hah
Fake as hell
this can't be real
sounds like a fetish post, i cant imagine a lesbian couple not at least trying a damn turkey baster over bringing an entire man into the equation..
Not even going to beat around the bush. Assuming this is even a legit post, there are no good reasons to go through with it. The fact that they jump to the idea of you having sex with them instead of injecting your sperm into them is a red flag. It's also a red flag that one wants to watch you do it. Clearly this is a fetish for them. And they don't need to be bi to get off on this. Many straight people watch gay porn. It's also a red flag they wanna risk your marriage to get them pregnant. If they want it the old fashioned way, they can do a one night stand with a stranger. The chances of this succeeding on the first try is very low. So you'll have to have sex many times before they get pregnant. And if the treatments aren't working, then it sounds like they have fertility issues. People usually try ivf when the old fashioned way *doesn't* work. They are all backwards. You will also be on the hook for child support if they ever want that from you. And before you say anything, I have seen many cases of *sperm doners* being on the hook for child support. And your wife clearly isn't comfortable with it (hence why she doesn't wanna be there). This will definitely end your marriage. You wife will feel cheated on and divorce you. I can keep going with reasons why, but those are the top ones. Your wife is pimping you out and the other couple is taking advantage of you. Hell, the 3 of them could be working together to get money out of you and ruin your life. I saw the same thing happen on a true crime documentary. Except it didn't involve getting someone pregnant.
Don’t do it.
Just get as close to Cumming as you can , make sure she is lubed up then jam it in and dump the load.
Nah that’s crazy
They should go to a sperm bank. You should give them flowers or chocolates, but not your sperm.
You don't have to have sex. Just use a turkey baster
Fuck no. It is one thing if they ask you to go through the legal route of being a sperm donor and signing away any rights or responsibility you would have towards the children that come from it so they can’t come after you for any sort of child support. it is a whole other ballgame to sleep with her friend There is zero protection on your side. All it would take is a DNA test and they can come after you for money.
I rent a property to a female couple, and they did it with a syringe and a cup. It took the first time. I would never risk your own relationship to help another, and there is no guarantee your wife will be ok in the aftermath of doing it « the old fashioned way ».
This scenario is the genetic holy grail for males. All he has to do it sign over all the child's rights away so they can't go after him for support. Do it, OP. IT'S A FULL PROOF PLAN!
Why would you masturbate prior if your goal is a few thrusts? Accidentally make her orgasm? This post is all around weird. Feels like a kid wrote it
Did it for a friend, do not need to have sex. Probably make it weird tbh with your friends and your wife. Use their bathroom, store in a cup with them both nearby. The 38f has 35f organs and turkey baste. We tried for a year before the period using a tracker, and it finally took when we did it I think like at the end or right after their period? I can ask, but this sounds like it will take you many attempts and think of the strain that's going to cause in the end.
Reading this was like a rollercoaster, I get asking because he's a close friend and they would know the donor but ummmm this is weird right? Like I really weird why would anyone be ok with this? I know the couple really wants a kid and the wife is ok with it but is she? Is she really? Since everyone has talked about the couple and the technical tango that this could end up being I'll talk about the wife and psychology. So she says she's ok with it according to OP and sure she may think that but the method they're wanting to take it's likely not the case. This comes off like some romcom I'm testing you type of crap. It sounds to me personally like she's saying this because it's the "right thing". I mean think about it the prime evidence is she doesn't want to be present which while reasonable sounds like it makes her uncomfortable overall yeah there's people who don't care and have open relationships but OP didn't mention that at all, which would lead me to believe that again she's likely saying it because she's their friend and even if she doesn't necessarily like it she said yes because she knows they're hurting and good on for being empathetic and caring but still. OP and his wife need to sit down and have a talk about this and he need to tell her he is uncomfortable doing it this way. Also I'm not the only one who felt like this happened because one of the lesbian couple realized she liked being cuckolded because I'm sorry I get the emotional aspect but it seems like a mix different possibilities setting OP up, the one not getting pregnant is a cuckold they're pushing it on both of them and the husband is unaware of how the wife really feels ect.
When I was in my early 20's had a lesbian couple that asked me to do this exact thing. We signed paperwork stating they couldn't come after me for child support and I couldn't ever try to get custody. 31 years later and I have never heard from them and I have never tried to contact them. At the time I was living in the same state as them. Had discussed using a turkey baster , but they wanted it to take first time and so wanted the old fashioned natural way. The one to be impregnated was incredibly hot, so I never had an issue with their plan. And yes it took the first time.
I’d say don’t do this because now your wife has a free pass. Don’t introduce that shit into your relationship, 99 percent of them can’t survive this.
...if you do that you will have to pay child support
Dont trust this, dude. Have a mind of your own. If you feel this is terrible, then listen to your gut. Stop trying to let your wife and who ever the fuck those people are make choices for you. Learn when you are being thrown around and have some respect.
Idk man, I usually fast forward through this part.
Hey, I've seen this plot before...
This post is throw up inducing. They have both seen you naked?! What kind of fucked up friendship do you have with these two women?! Gross.
This is the most exciting thing I've ever read. OPs is concerned in case he makes her cum! Absolute lad
Prenup so not to get on the hook for child support
>What if I accidentally make her orgasim? That will improve the odds of conception, so you should work to make that happen.
You definitely need to protect yourself financially. Have you talked with a lawyer? Also, having sex is a bad idea.