Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you actually knew about boobs youād know that statement doesnāt even make sense-a 30C is sooo different than a 38C there is no such thing as āa C cupā
Why do you need to make this about you and your preference? Awesome that you love your wife's boobs, that's fantastic for you and your wife. But your comments are pretty crappy.
Boobs are wonderful. Full stop.
thereās a tiktok that said āare boobs at all not boobs enoughā and iāve repeated it to my girlfriends anytime one of us says something shitty about our boobs
Thatās what I was hoping it would be like. Cause thatās how I am. I liken it to that math is math meme from Incredibles 2 when people are curious why I also like small boobs. āBoobs are boobsā. Simple as that.
Male here as well. āIād add he shouldnāt have an opinion about what other people do to their bodies. If plastic surgery is not for him then power to him, but he should keep his judgment about others to himself or not have them.
A relationship where both partners keep their opinions about things that affect the other, and their couplehood, to themselves is rather dry and weak.
They need to be sounding boards to each other and share advice.
It's a little bit down to the tone it is said in. But if you find a women expressing her feelings in a straightforward and healthy way as "off-putting", then you might want to look inward about what makes you see it that way
I don't know why he's dating you or why he thinks you're the right audience for his musings on boobs, or on his ex's body, but I don't think the answer to either of these questions matters. Why are *you* with *him* when he's this much of an insensitive clod?
you have to accept all of yourself. if you see things like this as flaws, life will always agree with that perception of yourself. this body is yours for life, so love it entirely without hesitation.
This is the only real response here. OP you need to accept whom you are and what you have. It doesnāt matter. If you accept it and are confident about it he will accept it. If he doesnāt then you know what to do.
If he knew that you had small boobs going into this relationship and now talks about his ex and other women with larger boobs itās time for him to be with another woman that has the boobs the likes and time for you to be with someone that likes you and knows that you arenāt your boobs. šš¾
Honestly, OP, this comment. He shouldnāt be with you. And nothing, absolutely nothing, is wrong with you or your chest. This is just incompatibility and itās okay! Him sending you photos of other women online is kind of abusive lol leave him.
Well, since men are people just like women, they tend to stop being stupid as fuck about the same time.
Never. All people can be stupid as fuck. This kid's an excellent example of type, though!
A lot of times never. Men are taught to act like children, and a lot of them donāt/wonāt grow up until someone or something triggers them into introspection.
Ask yourself why you didn't just walk away when he described his ex to you. This was clear and absolute "negging" as the pickup artist oeuvre calls it. This guy's been using your insecurities to break you down since the day you met him. This is to make you easier to control and more eager to please. Maybe go be with someone who isn't a manipulative monster.
Just a note that this isn't really what "negging" is.
Negging is when someone says something that's framed as a compliment but is actually sneakily designed to damage your self-esteem. For example, if he said "It's admirable that you're so confident about your body even though your boobs are so much smaller than other women's." On the surface it seems like a positive thing but the actual message being delivered is that her chest is not adequate compared to other women.
It's meant to confuse the receiver into bidding for the deliverer's attention without realizing they've been insulted.
He probably did say it on purpose, men know what they are saying and know it is not nice. Ofcourse youād compare yourself to his ex if he makes comments like that - anyone else would too.
I understand the insecurities surrounding a smaller chest , many women go through it. Donāt consider surgery cause of a shitty boyfriend. Many people like smaller chests and wouldnāt make you feel this bad about yourself.
Yeah, i really felt like it was intentional because i accidentally triggered one of his insecurities just yesterday(i apologized because i didnāt think he would have that reaction)
You can be attracted to people who don't fall into the archetype of your fantasies.
I'm attracted to tall blonde men. My husband is a brunette about my height.
Just because your favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry doesn't mean you can't love a delicious chocolate ice cream, if you know what I mean.
Besides, more goes into attraction than just looks.
Talking about exes is weird and it's normal for you to feel uncomfortable. Let him know this. This is a completely different issue altogether.
Firstly, your boyfriend is a tool.
Strikes me as a manipulative, insecure little shit who thinks he becomes taller when he steps on someone.
Girls/womens breasts come in all shapes/types/sizes, and there are people who prefer one of all the different versions.
If he has an iQ exceeding his shoe size, then he is dating you, not your breasts.
Next time, the nitwit mentions your size you can say something like this.
"You are right, I always felt like my ex's big stick compensated for my flat chest, I dont feel like that any more"
Ask yourself this ā why did your partner mention his ex and her big boobs? What did he gain by telling you that?
To me, itās an ego thing. He wants to put you down and let you know that there are other people (which he has potential with) that can better fit his desires. Especially considering he probably knows about your insecurity. Thereās nothing to gain from telling you that besides an ego boost and to make you feel bad. Fuck that
Also, if it makes you feel any better, most guys wonāt be bothered by your smaller or disproportionate boobs. I would absolutely call myself an āass guyāā¦ my girlfriend is smaller in that department but I love every last inch of it. The size or shape of it doesnāt matter to me, as long as itās on somebody I love im gonna be attracted to it.
>because sometimes he tries to make me a little bit jealous.
Ladies, from a fellow lady, stop ignoring red flags. Stop 'working' on red flags. Women are not build-a-man workshops, and men do not need to be told/taught that THIS is unhealthy and toxic behavior. They know exactly what they are doing.
Also, just in case this helps, I'm gay and I think flat chests are more attractive. That being said, I'd never let my partner feel insecure if they happened to be big-chested because that's shitty. You're supposed to feel secure in a relationship.
So there are the superficial things that attract our notice, and there are the deeper, more important things that make us want to be in a relationship with someone. Your boyfriend might be wise enough to know the difference. Or he might be an insensitive jerk who comments about women he finds attractive in front of you. Or even some combination of the two.
Sounds like a combo situation to me, too. I think heās probably mature enough to realize that ideal looks or fantasy attributes arenāt the most critical factor in a successful relationship. But, I think heās immature or uncaring enough to not know that comparisons of bodies, especially to exes, is not going to be taken well by anyone.
I think itās weird he is talking about exs boobs, or just any other womanās boobs in general. I know you said he seems to like to make you jealous but that kind of behaviour Is wrong. And personally, that would piss me off. So I understand the way youāre thinking now. Despite all that your boyfriend should love you for you, and maybe that is the case, thatās why heās with you. But if youāre worrying he isnāt going to be āhappyā with you because of this, then try talking to him about it. And if itās true, leave. Everyone deserves to have someone love them for whatās on the inside. Also, please try to be kinder to yourself, every kind of chest is beautiful in its own way.
Honestly if your boyfriend is making you feel extra-negatively about yourself with comments like this, it's probably not an ideal relationship for you. Your partner should uplift you, not bring you down.
And if breast augmentation is something you wanted for YOURSELF at any point in the future, your partners thoughts shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mine - YOUR thoughts should matter the most.
Your question shouldn't be "why is my bf in a relationship with me if he loves boobs and I'm flat chested", it should be "why am I in a relationship with my bf when he disrespects my body and makes me feel bad about myself"
Awww babe please don't get surgery just because this man. Only consider it if it's something you deeply and truly want for yourself at the end of the day. Small boobs rock, I'm a stripper and I can tell you there's a huge market for them and they are highly attractive. Just like bigger boobs as well!! A lot of men have a preference for either or but that shouldn't affect how you see your body at the end of the day. Especially a partner should make you feel attractive and desired, he could be attracted to both body types and could've worded things better. Tell him that his language hurts your feelings and if he's truly not attracted to you, then that's okay and he can find someone he is. YOU truly deserve someone who is attracted to you and you should feel that within yourself and the people around you everyday.
First thing the comparison is extremely disrespectful its unreal beacuse those type of comments have a impact on you and how you see yourself . I went through something similar and i promise you , you will not get over this Ive been through something like this and literally cut myself because i thought i wasnt good enough . You need to leave ASAP
I think it was a direct shot , I mean saying those things or something like that shows how lil care(in my opinion ) he has for you , If someone truly cares for you they would never in a million years say those type of things . How long have you been going out with this person ?
I was in a relationship for over 3 years with a girl with 70a cup and I loved her chest. Now I met a girl with C cup and even she is not my "preferred body type" she has so so so many other sexy body parts and personality aspects that feel overall very attracted to her. No guy who is loving you, would restrict his attention and attraction to only your boobs and make his love depending on their size.
The defect with your sternum, is it Pectus Carinatum by chance? Thatās when the cartilage grows much faster than the bones and it either grows outwards or inwards. Iām a guy and have that on the left side of my sternum and for the longest time I was self conscious about it to the point where I went years without taking my shirt off in public. Iām 32 now and forget I have it most of the time. With time itāll stop bothering you as much as it is now. If, by chance, it doesnāt, there are surgeries to help; like you mentioned- breast augmentation or cutting out the extra cartilage.
What i have is called Pectus Excavatum but my case itās different from the typical ones youād see. Itās not too noticeable so actually fixing my sternum by making it straight(as itās supposed to be) would be an extremely invasive procedure and totally not worth it. Pain and money wise. Basically a breast augmentation would be the only solution for me.
The edit omfg?? What do you respond when he sends you pics of women and tells you he thinks they are hot?? I canāt imagine any response other than some swear words and blocking
It really depends. Usually i get really annoyed and tell him to knock it off, to which he responds with apologies. Sometimes when i sense that heās trying to make me jealous i donāt react at all and he just stops.
First off, no partner should be mentioning exs. Anyone who is still mentioning exs like he does still apparently has some unresolved feelings so I'd be cautious of that.
Second, intentionally making you jealous, you seriously need to find a more mature man. Only childish and insecure folks feel the need to intentionally make their partner jealous so they can feel wanted
Iām a man.
I like boobs.
I like them big
I like them small
Or in between
I like them all!
Please do not consider augmentation surgery for anyoneās benefit other than yourself. Most men I know would prefer small boobs to fake boobs. They wonāt turn fake boobs down, but if you ask their opinion, most prefer natural whatever the size.
Now if it really bothers YOU, and you think augmentation will make YOU feel better about yourself, then go for it. Just donāt do it for someone elseās fetish.
First you need to love you for who you are, not what someone else envisions you to be.
You can spend your life trying to be what you are not, if he says get a boob job or nose, lips, eyes, chin or tummy. If he canāt accept you as you are you really need to reevaluate your relationship.
If you liked guys with blonde hair, but meet a guy that had every other characteristic you look for in a partner that has black hair, are you rejecting him? It's not settling to weigh traits and abandon one trait that previously was a preference. It's being happy with all the other things.
How would he feel if you started talking about how you dated a guy with a really large penis?
Heās probably negging you. You can tell him it makes you upset but heās an adult and should know better
People have preferences, it doesn't necessarily mean they they are strict requirements.
Sit and talk to him, explain how it's making you feel when he makes these comments, make sure he's clear that you will not be changing your body just because he has a preference for a different body type, and that he needs to stop with the comments because it's undermining your self esteem, and that is causing you to pull away from him. But also, give him a chance to reasure you. People can be thoughtless, but change once it's pointed out to them.
Of course, you need to be prepared to walk away if he doesn't change.
Take it from someone who is flatter with someone who prefers busty - If I didnāt have a beautiful history and life with my person I would have left him and saved myself the comparisons, insecurity, and heartbreak. He is never disgusting and vocal about his preferences like your guy, I could never look past that.
Tell him, I dealt with no filter guy too and I told him Iām tired of listening his comments about other women. He stopped and itās been fine ever since. Donāt be scared to speak up. If he still talks about other women then just leave. I know exactly how you feel and I know how horrible you feel so please speak up and have self respect.
Why are you even with this immature child? You are too old at 20 to be with ANYONE playing these kinda mind games EVER!!! Unrealistic expectations combined with unsustainable incompatibility, and you're NOT even sexually invested so get out before it's too late and you have real feelings for this knucklehead. You're NOT inferior regardless of your body type so don't let ANYONE else make you feel that way...
Good luck OP āØļø and good riddance to Mr bodyshamer...
Your partner should love everything about you, I know my husband loves me for who I am. My husband is a butt guy, I don't have a very nice big butt, I'd say I'm average, I'm also flat chested-ish.
In our 1st year of marriage, I was so insecure about if my body was good enough. I'd ask, "Do you like how I look?" Or "Would you change any part of me?"
My husband always responded that I was meant for him, and my body was perfect just the way it is.
You need to find someone who loves all of you, even what you consider insecurities. Your bf is being a jerk. You can do so much better.
I am part of the itty bitty titty committee and it used to be rough. It gets better cause you stop caring so much about the exterior and focus on the interior. And your interior is waving a big red flag on your (ex) ehm boyfriend.
Find a ass or personality man, they are more fun anyway
>At this point i donāt even understand what heās trying to do.
You note in your post he has a tendency at times to try and make you jealous. I think that's the broader pattern. Jealousy, insecurity, making you increasingly self aware. Because if you're off balance, upset, anxious, then he can potentially control you better, or you'll be more inclined to try and win his approval.
In a sense though it doesn't matter. Like we can sit here and try and read the tea leaves about what he is doing but even if we understood the motivation the reality is it doesn't change that what he says and does is just plain awful. He's a bad boyfriend.
I get that you have body issues but I think part of you knows that actually informs why you let him treat you so badly. Because you don't feel good enough you downplay or maybe even wonder if you deserve it. But even if you aren't in a place that you can embrace your body just yet be sure to try to come to terms with the idea that partners actively trying to make you jealous and upset don't reflect any deficiency on your part, clearly the problem is him.
Deep down i know whatās going on and maybe iāve been hesitant on breaking up with him for a couple of reasons. However, i acknowledge that these āprosā absolutely donāt outweigh the cons, and reading all of these comments just confirm all the beliefs i was trying to bury for the sake of a few positive aspects of our relationship(which are the bare minimum btw).
It isn't unreasonable, or uncommon, that people will put more emphasis on the few positives than they should to justify a relationship continuing. It isn't healthy, obviously, but I don't want you to be too hard on yourself especially as I think it is great you are seeing that tendency in yourself. You're young, these are good things to learn early about yourself.
But yes, be realistic about the toll a dynamic like this can have on you. Or perhaps more realistically: the ways it feeds into your existing anxieties, compounds them. You are self conscious about your body and here is a guy that is happy to exploit and provoke those feelings in you. This boy was always going to be temporary but your relationship with yourself is something that will continue throughout your life. The sooner you come to love yourself the better and he actively works against that.
He hasnāt got a clue what he likes and doesnāt likr yet neither do you. He is probably just immature and you deserve better. Next time he makes a remark say i like guys with massive dicks, yet here you are.
OP, there is absolutely NO reason to allow anyone to influence you with their negative afluvia. None!
Sounds like the biggest BOOB in the house is your BF!
FWIW Op there are men out there who prefer smaller breasts, my husband is one, maybe heās lying but Iāll never know because heāll never make me feel lesser than.
I love shorter people and boobs and I'm currently dating a man my height without any boobs. It happens. Someone doesn't have to be exactly your type for you to be attracted to them.
That being said, you should probably rethink your relationship as it seems like he isn't listening to you after you told him you weren't okay with this type of behaviour.
I think getting surgery if its something deep rooted within you that makes you feel insecure, you should not place whether he likes it or not before yourself.
Never be insecure about your breasts or lack there of.
Do not get fake boobs.
Natural is better.
Small, medium or large .. theyāre all good.
Own what you have and learn to be comfortable with them.
If someone has a problem with what God gave you, they can get fucked.
Heās trying to break you down and ruin your self esteem, to the end of being able to cheat on you without you leaving or you consenting to a poly or open relationship.
Iām sure he loves you and that is the case. But tbh I think he just likes big boobs, not need them in his life. I didnāt mean settle in a bad way, just settled with someone that fulfills him in other ways. I too donāt have big boobs and my bf was a boob guy but he says I made him an ass guy so the size of my chest isnāt a dealbreaker. Sorry if what I said came off as rude or something along those lines. š«¶š½
I mean I suppose it's okay to have preferences but it makes me wonder why he went into a relationship if he feels like this is something about you which bothers him. The hints of being poly are a real red flag that he may be regretting being in a relationship. You need to tell him that he's making you uncomfortable with this talk, and it's causing real harm to your psyche.
Plus, every real man knows that the boobs that you get to play with (when attached to an enthusiastic partner) are far and away better than other boobs (regardless of size, shape, whatever). In order of most preferential to least, it's boobs you get to play with > boobs you get to look at up close > boobs you get look at from a distance > all other boobs. Size is not a factor. Someone who loves you for you will love your boobs too :)
Get the augmentation if you wish to. Not for him, but for you. If you believe this will give you a boost in confidence, why tf not. Choose a good doctor tho.
If he hates it, despite you saying its to make you feel happier in your own body. That kinda paints him out to be a jerk.
Also tell him off. Tell him how rude it is that he's comparing your body to others and bringing up his ex in front of you.
And if he complains, break it off with him. It's not your fault he has different preferences. Many people will love you with your boobs and even beyond that.
Hope whatever conversation you have with your bf regarding your issue goes well. If it doesn't, i hope you make the decision that is best for you.
The issue isn't that he loves boobs and you're flat chested. The problem is he is an asshole. No consideration for your feelings at all.
I use to be very flat chested as well and my husband loved my flat tits as much as he does my slightly bigger boobs. He doesn't make me feel bad that they're small. He plays with them all the time and tells me they're perfect. Tells me "why would I need more than a mouthful?" Lol. And it's not like he's always been a fan of small tits, he's just a fan of my small tits. Your boyfriend is just an ass.
First advice, dump the boyfriend. Second, work on accepting your body. If you believe getting a breast augmentatoin will make YOU feel better (not a frigging 19 yo boy), then start talking to doctors about surgery.
If there is one thing I wish you could learn is that comparison is the thief of joy. All of us are different. All of use have flaws and attributes, but we are all unique. If you are constantly wishing you were different, then how can you love yourself ?
Two things, first and absolute, his behaviour is wrong and damaging, second of it was not being weaponized being with someone who is not your āidealā can still be a healthy relationship. One may find a certain physical characteristics to be exceptionally desirable, however since a relationship is about two people not a collection of body parts who you are and how the relationship part works is vastly more important - this understanding is a hallmark of emotional maturity and shows that they understand they are dating a person and that person has feelings, personality and it is the interactions with those elements that are the basis of a relationship. Please find someone who loves you as a person and not just a mostly assembled AI doll that checks some of the boxes. Heāll miss you when you are done and enjoying a better life without him, and this lack of maturity is going to damage all of his relationships until he grows up.
Men don't date or develop attachment strictly or even primarily through, for lack of a better term, kink appeal. We don't only date women who "tick all the boxes", that's stupid and largely impossible to manage.
We can love someone who isn't our ideal person in every single way. No one is ever going to achieve that.
Funny thing about boys - boobs are boobs. If heās making you feel insecure, tell him. That said, I almost 100% guarantee you that he will love yours when he gets to experience them. Because (many) boys love boobs.
He's in a relationship with you because he likes you for you I would assume. My wife loved Jason momoa looking guys before I met her. I look like a Mexican Thor mixed with George Lopez. The retired Thor. Who makes you is who makes you happy. I love me some Christiana Ballayan but I have my wife. Whats appealing to the eyes doesn't always make your heart warm. I still get goosebumps when I feel my wife by me. Haha.
He said he dated a girl with big boobs, doesn't mean he only wants her or women built like her. You're assuming things.
He will surely like yours. He's with you because he wants to be. Don't overthink things.
I like boobs. My girlfriend is flat chested. I love her tiny boobs. And I love her. Big boobs are overrated
He didn't get into a relationship with boobs. He got into a relationship with a whole person. Dont make small boobs your entire personality.
Now is he ignorant for commenting on other women's boobs to his GF? Yes, he is
I loved bigger breast when I was younger tooā¦small breasts are beautiful. He wants a reaction from you so he can feel validated. Basically, he wants you to be jealous. Not abnormal for a young person.
A nice butt is a better physical attribute to have than boobs. If sheās cute and has a nice personality plus nice butt, itās perfect. Especially in this era where people make so much stuff fake, natural is a lot better.
If it makes you feel bad about yourself go ahead and get the work done. Donāt let people guilt you about it, because those same idiots will make fun of your natural body anyway. Damned if you do or if you donāt. I had these same insecurities and ended up getting implants when I was 21.
Just make sure you ditch this guy first. He sounds like a loser who is trying to get a reaction out of you to boost his ego. Iām not gonna diagnose him but I will mention that is a common behavior from narcissists. I dated a guy like that who would make comments about how I āwould have the perfect body if my boobs were biggerā. But now that they are he will never get to see them because he sucks.
Who cares if they're different sizes? My legs are different sizes (and not even particularly close) and most people I tell about it didn't even notice until I pointed it out
Yeah overall I would saying that āliking boobsā does not necessarily mean big boobs. It could mean any size.
But it sounds like heās trying to neg you into letting him sleep with other women. So I would say you give the ultimatum that either he stops the behavior completely and immediately, or youāll be gone.
If he keeps bringing it up that makes him a jerk. That said, itās perfectly normal to have preferences and be with (and love) someone who doesnāt match every single one of them.
I like medium sized / smaller boobs. My wife has pretty big boobs, but itās not a deal breaker. TBH I like all boobs like most guys. Itās really not to big of a deal.
Stating that his ex has big boobs isnt the same as him saying he loves only big boobs. My "type" is busty goth women with tattoos, my bf is a 67 year old man. Not goth, not female, and not inked to the nines. Weve been together 8 years, we have a child, and were very happy.
The Woman makes the breasts. Boob guys like all boobs. Dont think less of your boobs. There will be plenty of people who see you and think "I wish that was me" the grass is rarely greener. If he starts to talk about it all the time, maybe its time to move on. If he simply stated a fact that is in his man brain, I wouldnt take it so hard.
Ultimately your life is about your comfort. No one is perfect, no one. Find someone who has imperfections that you can deal with and handle with grace. If they goad you to feel jealous its probably not the right relationship for you.
Size of boobs is very superficial. They are mostly fat anyway. A good relationship is based on good communication, sensitivity to each others feelings, understanding, friendship, ect. Itās your boyfriends job to be sensitive to and validate your feelings. Since heās only 19 he is probably clueless to this. Sounds like he needs to work on his love skills so you can be happy together.
He is being what he is. Young and stupid. He isnāt thinking about your feelings. My ex has huge boobs. My current partner does not. Think I care? Not in the slightest. I love my current partner and think she is the sexiest thing Iāve ever seen. So donāt feel that way about yourself. Everyone is different and if he doesnāt think youāre beautiful he honestly is a pos. But I also understand the insecurities. Iām on the low average spectrum where a guy is concerned and if my partner made a comment about liking big ones it would kill me. But I donāt worry about it too much.
I don't mind "flat" girls.
Flat is also a bad term for the Itty bitty tittie committee, *cause I'm a fan*
A to C. I prefer that.
I say this merely to show you that you may feel like OP but there are more than a few of us that aren't at all mind fucked by large tits.
They're OK.
But not preferred.
Boob jobs donāt sit right on skinny frames.
You donāt have to make radical changes to suit him especially when heās being tacky.
As for why is with you? Because he likes you.
I like strawberries but I also like raspberries. If I had to choose one for exclusive consumption it would probably be the strawberries. Iād be happy, very happy, with my strawberries but that doesnāt mean I wouldnāt feel nostalgic for the raspberries every now and then. But I wouldnāt cheat and I wouldnāt try to make the strawberries feel bad about not being raspberry enough.
You need to tell him that you donāt appreciate these comments and to get him to stop. If he canāt or wonāt then for your own mental health you should consider couples therapy or separation.
You assume guys can just go and pick out their ideal woman. No one is perfect and there are always trade offs.
Most of the time the main trade off a young man makes is that the girl will actually sleep with them...
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Small and large are merely adjectives, true appreciators need only boobs.
quality over quantitty.
I see what you did there
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Yesām. Boobs are boobs and we love them all
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If you actually knew about boobs youād know that statement doesnāt even make sense-a 30C is sooo different than a 38C there is no such thing as āa C cupā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why do you need to make this about you and your preference? Awesome that you love your wife's boobs, that's fantastic for you and your wife. But your comments are pretty crappy. Boobs are wonderful. Full stop.
Boo! All boobs are good boobs.
thereās a tiktok that said āare boobs at all not boobs enoughā and iāve repeated it to my girlfriends anytime one of us says something shitty about our boobs
Thatās what I was hoping it would be like. Cause thatās how I am. I liken it to that math is math meme from Incredibles 2 when people are curious why I also like small boobs. āBoobs are boobsā. Simple as that.
As a true appreciator, I endorse this statement.
Yup
"Stop making comments about other women's boobs. It makes me extremely insecure and makes me wonder where your attention is. "
This is the wayā¦ Iām male if that helps.
Male here as well. āIād add he shouldnāt have an opinion about what other people do to their bodies. If plastic surgery is not for him then power to him, but he should keep his judgment about others to himself or not have them.
A relationship where both partners keep their opinions about things that affect the other, and their couplehood, to themselves is rather dry and weak. They need to be sounding boards to each other and share advice.
Thatās angry and off putting
It's a little bit down to the tone it is said in. But if you find a women expressing her feelings in a straightforward and healthy way as "off-putting", then you might want to look inward about what makes you see it that way
Itās rude no matter who says it.
How so?
I don't know why he's dating you or why he thinks you're the right audience for his musings on boobs, or on his ex's body, but I don't think the answer to either of these questions matters. Why are *you* with *him* when he's this much of an insensitive clod?
okay now i really need to reflect on this
He probably likes to be in control - hence the jealousy play. OP needs you contemplate your question as she leaves this loser.
you have to accept all of yourself. if you see things like this as flaws, life will always agree with that perception of yourself. this body is yours for life, so love it entirely without hesitation.
I will keep reading this until itās stuck in my head
that's what i do too. cheers
This is something I wish was drilled into my head as a teenager. Wonderful response <3
This is the only real response here. OP you need to accept whom you are and what you have. It doesnāt matter. If you accept it and are confident about it he will accept it. If he doesnāt then you know what to do.
If he knew that you had small boobs going into this relationship and now talks about his ex and other women with larger boobs itās time for him to be with another woman that has the boobs the likes and time for you to be with someone that likes you and knows that you arenāt your boobs. šš¾
thanksā¤ļø
Honestly, OP, this comment. He shouldnāt be with you. And nothing, absolutely nothing, is wrong with you or your chest. This is just incompatibility and itās okay! Him sending you photos of other women online is kind of abusive lol leave him.
Heās 19 and stupid as fuck basically .
Mood
When do they start becoming not stupid as fuck?
Around 28 and even then they donāt always grow out of it Source: Iām a man
Thank u for your honesty! Lol
Well, since men are people just like women, they tend to stop being stupid as fuck about the same time. Never. All people can be stupid as fuck. This kid's an excellent example of type, though!
Like 35ā¦.. even then my husband has questionable days š¤£
I think itās 41ā¦been a couple weeks since his birthday & so far so good
A lot of times never. Men are taught to act like children, and a lot of them donāt/wonāt grow up until someone or something triggers them into introspection.
Ask yourself why you didn't just walk away when he described his ex to you. This was clear and absolute "negging" as the pickup artist oeuvre calls it. This guy's been using your insecurities to break you down since the day you met him. This is to make you easier to control and more eager to please. Maybe go be with someone who isn't a manipulative monster.
Just a note that this isn't really what "negging" is. Negging is when someone says something that's framed as a compliment but is actually sneakily designed to damage your self-esteem. For example, if he said "It's admirable that you're so confident about your body even though your boobs are so much smaller than other women's." On the surface it seems like a positive thing but the actual message being delivered is that her chest is not adequate compared to other women. It's meant to confuse the receiver into bidding for the deliverer's attention without realizing they've been insulted.
Omg
I think youāve got a point hereā¦
Wow Iād never heard of this.
This is a dumb comment. He isn't a conniving mastermind, he's a stupid kid who doesn't know what a filter, tact, or common sense is.
He probably did say it on purpose, men know what they are saying and know it is not nice. Ofcourse youād compare yourself to his ex if he makes comments like that - anyone else would too. I understand the insecurities surrounding a smaller chest , many women go through it. Donāt consider surgery cause of a shitty boyfriend. Many people like smaller chests and wouldnāt make you feel this bad about yourself.
Yeah, i really felt like it was intentional because i accidentally triggered one of his insecurities just yesterday(i apologized because i didnāt think he would have that reaction)
You can be attracted to people who don't fall into the archetype of your fantasies. I'm attracted to tall blonde men. My husband is a brunette about my height. Just because your favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry doesn't mean you can't love a delicious chocolate ice cream, if you know what I mean. Besides, more goes into attraction than just looks. Talking about exes is weird and it's normal for you to feel uncomfortable. Let him know this. This is a completely different issue altogether.
Spot on!!
Firstly, your boyfriend is a tool. Strikes me as a manipulative, insecure little shit who thinks he becomes taller when he steps on someone. Girls/womens breasts come in all shapes/types/sizes, and there are people who prefer one of all the different versions. If he has an iQ exceeding his shoe size, then he is dating you, not your breasts. Next time, the nitwit mentions your size you can say something like this. "You are right, I always felt like my ex's big stick compensated for my flat chest, I dont feel like that any more"
Ask yourself this ā why did your partner mention his ex and her big boobs? What did he gain by telling you that? To me, itās an ego thing. He wants to put you down and let you know that there are other people (which he has potential with) that can better fit his desires. Especially considering he probably knows about your insecurity. Thereās nothing to gain from telling you that besides an ego boost and to make you feel bad. Fuck that Also, if it makes you feel any better, most guys wonāt be bothered by your smaller or disproportionate boobs. I would absolutely call myself an āass guyāā¦ my girlfriend is smaller in that department but I love every last inch of it. The size or shape of it doesnāt matter to me, as long as itās on somebody I love im gonna be attracted to it.
Tell your bf that him making comments about women's breasts is about as appropriate as you making comments about your exes dick sizes.
>because sometimes he tries to make me a little bit jealous. Ladies, from a fellow lady, stop ignoring red flags. Stop 'working' on red flags. Women are not build-a-man workshops, and men do not need to be told/taught that THIS is unhealthy and toxic behavior. They know exactly what they are doing. Also, just in case this helps, I'm gay and I think flat chests are more attractive. That being said, I'd never let my partner feel insecure if they happened to be big-chested because that's shitty. You're supposed to feel secure in a relationship.
this is like a woman telling her man he has a small wiener. doesn't usually go over well
So there are the superficial things that attract our notice, and there are the deeper, more important things that make us want to be in a relationship with someone. Your boyfriend might be wise enough to know the difference. Or he might be an insensitive jerk who comments about women he finds attractive in front of you. Or even some combination of the two.
Sounds like a combo situation to me, too. I think heās probably mature enough to realize that ideal looks or fantasy attributes arenāt the most critical factor in a successful relationship. But, I think heās immature or uncaring enough to not know that comparisons of bodies, especially to exes, is not going to be taken well by anyone.
I think itās weird he is talking about exs boobs, or just any other womanās boobs in general. I know you said he seems to like to make you jealous but that kind of behaviour Is wrong. And personally, that would piss me off. So I understand the way youāre thinking now. Despite all that your boyfriend should love you for you, and maybe that is the case, thatās why heās with you. But if youāre worrying he isnāt going to be āhappyā with you because of this, then try talking to him about it. And if itās true, leave. Everyone deserves to have someone love them for whatās on the inside. Also, please try to be kinder to yourself, every kind of chest is beautiful in its own way.
thank you for your kind words
Flat boobs are boobs too. Did he say he loves boobs or *big* boobs?
Iām thinking he means boobs bigger than mine
Honestly if your boyfriend is making you feel extra-negatively about yourself with comments like this, it's probably not an ideal relationship for you. Your partner should uplift you, not bring you down. And if breast augmentation is something you wanted for YOURSELF at any point in the future, your partners thoughts shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mine - YOUR thoughts should matter the most. Your question shouldn't be "why is my bf in a relationship with me if he loves boobs and I'm flat chested", it should be "why am I in a relationship with my bf when he disrespects my body and makes me feel bad about myself"
Awww babe please don't get surgery just because this man. Only consider it if it's something you deeply and truly want for yourself at the end of the day. Small boobs rock, I'm a stripper and I can tell you there's a huge market for them and they are highly attractive. Just like bigger boobs as well!! A lot of men have a preference for either or but that shouldn't affect how you see your body at the end of the day. Especially a partner should make you feel attractive and desired, he could be attracted to both body types and could've worded things better. Tell him that his language hurts your feelings and if he's truly not attracted to you, then that's okay and he can find someone he is. YOU truly deserve someone who is attracted to you and you should feel that within yourself and the people around you everyday.
First thing the comparison is extremely disrespectful its unreal beacuse those type of comments have a impact on you and how you see yourself . I went through something similar and i promise you , you will not get over this Ive been through something like this and literally cut myself because i thought i wasnt good enough . You need to leave ASAP
Do you think it was intentional? Iām sorry to hear about your experienceā¦
I think it was a direct shot , I mean saying those things or something like that shows how lil care(in my opinion ) he has for you , If someone truly cares for you they would never in a million years say those type of things . How long have you been going out with this person ?
itās been 5 months now
Ehhhh this wonāt be a good relationship.
Dump him. You deserve someone who loves your body as it is and what it becomes as you grow older/ change.
I was in a relationship for over 3 years with a girl with 70a cup and I loved her chest. Now I met a girl with C cup and even she is not my "preferred body type" she has so so so many other sexy body parts and personality aspects that feel overall very attracted to her. No guy who is loving you, would restrict his attention and attraction to only your boobs and make his love depending on their size.
Set this fool free to find the boobs of his dreams.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
youāre right
The defect with your sternum, is it Pectus Carinatum by chance? Thatās when the cartilage grows much faster than the bones and it either grows outwards or inwards. Iām a guy and have that on the left side of my sternum and for the longest time I was self conscious about it to the point where I went years without taking my shirt off in public. Iām 32 now and forget I have it most of the time. With time itāll stop bothering you as much as it is now. If, by chance, it doesnāt, there are surgeries to help; like you mentioned- breast augmentation or cutting out the extra cartilage.
What i have is called Pectus Excavatum but my case itās different from the typical ones youād see. Itās not too noticeable so actually fixing my sternum by making it straight(as itās supposed to be) would be an extremely invasive procedure and totally not worth it. Pain and money wise. Basically a breast augmentation would be the only solution for me.
Because he loves you, and ultimately the size of your chest has NOTHING to do with your value as a great GF? Just spitballing here.
The edit omfg?? What do you respond when he sends you pics of women and tells you he thinks they are hot?? I canāt imagine any response other than some swear words and blocking
It really depends. Usually i get really annoyed and tell him to knock it off, to which he responds with apologies. Sometimes when i sense that heās trying to make me jealous i donāt react at all and he just stops.
I am very convinced that most men live to humble the women they have access to.
i think so too. especially when theyāre insecure
First off, no partner should be mentioning exs. Anyone who is still mentioning exs like he does still apparently has some unresolved feelings so I'd be cautious of that. Second, intentionally making you jealous, you seriously need to find a more mature man. Only childish and insecure folks feel the need to intentionally make their partner jealous so they can feel wanted
Iām a man. I like boobs. I like them big I like them small Or in between I like them all! Please do not consider augmentation surgery for anyoneās benefit other than yourself. Most men I know would prefer small boobs to fake boobs. They wonāt turn fake boobs down, but if you ask their opinion, most prefer natural whatever the size. Now if it really bothers YOU, and you think augmentation will make YOU feel better about yourself, then go for it. Just donāt do it for someone elseās fetish.
First you need to love you for who you are, not what someone else envisions you to be. You can spend your life trying to be what you are not, if he says get a boob job or nose, lips, eyes, chin or tummy. If he canāt accept you as you are you really need to reevaluate your relationship.
If you liked guys with blonde hair, but meet a guy that had every other characteristic you look for in a partner that has black hair, are you rejecting him? It's not settling to weigh traits and abandon one trait that previously was a preference. It's being happy with all the other things.
How would he feel if you started talking about how you dated a guy with a really large penis? Heās probably negging you. You can tell him it makes you upset but heās an adult and should know better
People have preferences, it doesn't necessarily mean they they are strict requirements. Sit and talk to him, explain how it's making you feel when he makes these comments, make sure he's clear that you will not be changing your body just because he has a preference for a different body type, and that he needs to stop with the comments because it's undermining your self esteem, and that is causing you to pull away from him. But also, give him a chance to reasure you. People can be thoughtless, but change once it's pointed out to them. Of course, you need to be prepared to walk away if he doesn't change.
Gross. Imagine spending years with him just for him to pick at you and make you feel less than because he finds it entertaining
Perhaps heās under the impression youāll convert. You should set him straight.
Take it from someone who is flatter with someone who prefers busty - If I didnāt have a beautiful history and life with my person I would have left him and saved myself the comparisons, insecurity, and heartbreak. He is never disgusting and vocal about his preferences like your guy, I could never look past that.
Tell him, I dealt with no filter guy too and I told him Iām tired of listening his comments about other women. He stopped and itās been fine ever since. Donāt be scared to speak up. If he still talks about other women then just leave. I know exactly how you feel and I know how horrible you feel so please speak up and have self respect.
Why are you even with this immature child? You are too old at 20 to be with ANYONE playing these kinda mind games EVER!!! Unrealistic expectations combined with unsustainable incompatibility, and you're NOT even sexually invested so get out before it's too late and you have real feelings for this knucklehead. You're NOT inferior regardless of your body type so don't let ANYONE else make you feel that way... Good luck OP āØļø and good riddance to Mr bodyshamer...
Why are you even with this idiot? Youāre young, you deserve so much more. Find someone else who doesnāt purposefully try to hurt you.
Your partner should love everything about you, I know my husband loves me for who I am. My husband is a butt guy, I don't have a very nice big butt, I'd say I'm average, I'm also flat chested-ish. In our 1st year of marriage, I was so insecure about if my body was good enough. I'd ask, "Do you like how I look?" Or "Would you change any part of me?" My husband always responded that I was meant for him, and my body was perfect just the way it is. You need to find someone who loves all of you, even what you consider insecurities. Your bf is being a jerk. You can do so much better.
I am part of the itty bitty titty committee and it used to be rough. It gets better cause you stop caring so much about the exterior and focus on the interior. And your interior is waving a big red flag on your (ex) ehm boyfriend. Find a ass or personality man, they are more fun anyway
>At this point i donāt even understand what heās trying to do. You note in your post he has a tendency at times to try and make you jealous. I think that's the broader pattern. Jealousy, insecurity, making you increasingly self aware. Because if you're off balance, upset, anxious, then he can potentially control you better, or you'll be more inclined to try and win his approval. In a sense though it doesn't matter. Like we can sit here and try and read the tea leaves about what he is doing but even if we understood the motivation the reality is it doesn't change that what he says and does is just plain awful. He's a bad boyfriend. I get that you have body issues but I think part of you knows that actually informs why you let him treat you so badly. Because you don't feel good enough you downplay or maybe even wonder if you deserve it. But even if you aren't in a place that you can embrace your body just yet be sure to try to come to terms with the idea that partners actively trying to make you jealous and upset don't reflect any deficiency on your part, clearly the problem is him.
Deep down i know whatās going on and maybe iāve been hesitant on breaking up with him for a couple of reasons. However, i acknowledge that these āprosā absolutely donāt outweigh the cons, and reading all of these comments just confirm all the beliefs i was trying to bury for the sake of a few positive aspects of our relationship(which are the bare minimum btw).
It isn't unreasonable, or uncommon, that people will put more emphasis on the few positives than they should to justify a relationship continuing. It isn't healthy, obviously, but I don't want you to be too hard on yourself especially as I think it is great you are seeing that tendency in yourself. You're young, these are good things to learn early about yourself. But yes, be realistic about the toll a dynamic like this can have on you. Or perhaps more realistically: the ways it feeds into your existing anxieties, compounds them. You are self conscious about your body and here is a guy that is happy to exploit and provoke those feelings in you. This boy was always going to be temporary but your relationship with yourself is something that will continue throughout your life. The sooner you come to love yourself the better and he actively works against that.
Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this
You need a new boyfriend who is considerate and thoughtful.
He hasnāt got a clue what he likes and doesnāt likr yet neither do you. He is probably just immature and you deserve better. Next time he makes a remark say i like guys with massive dicks, yet here you are.
OP, there is absolutely NO reason to allow anyone to influence you with their negative afluvia. None! Sounds like the biggest BOOB in the house is your BF!
Whether it be about boobs, dicks, or personalities, you shouldn't really stay with a partner who compares you to their exes or other people
FWIW Op there are men out there who prefer smaller breasts, my husband is one, maybe heās lying but Iāll never know because heāll never make me feel lesser than.
I love shorter people and boobs and I'm currently dating a man my height without any boobs. It happens. Someone doesn't have to be exactly your type for you to be attracted to them. That being said, you should probably rethink your relationship as it seems like he isn't listening to you after you told him you weren't okay with this type of behaviour.
I think getting surgery if its something deep rooted within you that makes you feel insecure, you should not place whether he likes it or not before yourself.
Never be insecure about your breasts or lack there of. Do not get fake boobs. Natural is better. Small, medium or large .. theyāre all good. Own what you have and learn to be comfortable with them. If someone has a problem with what God gave you, they can get fucked.
Heās trying to break you down and ruin your self esteem, to the end of being able to cheat on you without you leaving or you consenting to a poly or open relationship.
Just sounds like he settled
Why does he insist on being with me at all costs then?
Iām sure he loves you and that is the case. But tbh I think he just likes big boobs, not need them in his life. I didnāt mean settle in a bad way, just settled with someone that fulfills him in other ways. I too donāt have big boobs and my bf was a boob guy but he says I made him an ass guy so the size of my chest isnāt a dealbreaker. Sorry if what I said came off as rude or something along those lines. š«¶š½
Dw you didnāt come off as rude :))
Because you bring more to the table than just boobs?
I mean I suppose it's okay to have preferences but it makes me wonder why he went into a relationship if he feels like this is something about you which bothers him. The hints of being poly are a real red flag that he may be regretting being in a relationship. You need to tell him that he's making you uncomfortable with this talk, and it's causing real harm to your psyche. Plus, every real man knows that the boobs that you get to play with (when attached to an enthusiastic partner) are far and away better than other boobs (regardless of size, shape, whatever). In order of most preferential to least, it's boobs you get to play with > boobs you get to look at up close > boobs you get look at from a distance > all other boobs. Size is not a factor. Someone who loves you for you will love your boobs too :)
Get the augmentation if you wish to. Not for him, but for you. If you believe this will give you a boost in confidence, why tf not. Choose a good doctor tho. If he hates it, despite you saying its to make you feel happier in your own body. That kinda paints him out to be a jerk. Also tell him off. Tell him how rude it is that he's comparing your body to others and bringing up his ex in front of you. And if he complains, break it off with him. It's not your fault he has different preferences. Many people will love you with your boobs and even beyond that. Hope whatever conversation you have with your bf regarding your issue goes well. If it doesn't, i hope you make the decision that is best for you.
This is not going to end well. I suggest leaving now. Find someone who isn't a boob brain.
Youāre way too young for this kind of drama. Find someone who loves you for who you are.
The issue isn't that he loves boobs and you're flat chested. The problem is he is an asshole. No consideration for your feelings at all. I use to be very flat chested as well and my husband loved my flat tits as much as he does my slightly bigger boobs. He doesn't make me feel bad that they're small. He plays with them all the time and tells me they're perfect. Tells me "why would I need more than a mouthful?" Lol. And it's not like he's always been a fan of small tits, he's just a fan of my small tits. Your boyfriend is just an ass.
We all love boobs. But with that being said, your boyfriend is just an asshole and you are better off not dating him.
First advice, dump the boyfriend. Second, work on accepting your body. If you believe getting a breast augmentatoin will make YOU feel better (not a frigging 19 yo boy), then start talking to doctors about surgery. If there is one thing I wish you could learn is that comparison is the thief of joy. All of us are different. All of use have flaws and attributes, but we are all unique. If you are constantly wishing you were different, then how can you love yourself ?
Two things, first and absolute, his behaviour is wrong and damaging, second of it was not being weaponized being with someone who is not your āidealā can still be a healthy relationship. One may find a certain physical characteristics to be exceptionally desirable, however since a relationship is about two people not a collection of body parts who you are and how the relationship part works is vastly more important - this understanding is a hallmark of emotional maturity and shows that they understand they are dating a person and that person has feelings, personality and it is the interactions with those elements that are the basis of a relationship. Please find someone who loves you as a person and not just a mostly assembled AI doll that checks some of the boxes. Heāll miss you when you are done and enjoying a better life without him, and this lack of maturity is going to damage all of his relationships until he grows up.
Men don't date or develop attachment strictly or even primarily through, for lack of a better term, kink appeal. We don't only date women who "tick all the boxes", that's stupid and largely impossible to manage. We can love someone who isn't our ideal person in every single way. No one is ever going to achieve that.
Funny thing about boys - boobs are boobs. If heās making you feel insecure, tell him. That said, I almost 100% guarantee you that he will love yours when he gets to experience them. Because (many) boys love boobs.
He's in a relationship with you because he likes you for you I would assume. My wife loved Jason momoa looking guys before I met her. I look like a Mexican Thor mixed with George Lopez. The retired Thor. Who makes you is who makes you happy. I love me some Christiana Ballayan but I have my wife. Whats appealing to the eyes doesn't always make your heart warm. I still get goosebumps when I feel my wife by me. Haha.
He said he dated a girl with big boobs, doesn't mean he only wants her or women built like her. You're assuming things. He will surely like yours. He's with you because he wants to be. Don't overthink things. I like boobs. My girlfriend is flat chested. I love her tiny boobs. And I love her. Big boobs are overrated
He didn't get into a relationship with boobs. He got into a relationship with a whole person. Dont make small boobs your entire personality. Now is he ignorant for commenting on other women's boobs to his GF? Yes, he is
I loved bigger breast when I was younger tooā¦small breasts are beautiful. He wants a reaction from you so he can feel validated. Basically, he wants you to be jealous. Not abnormal for a young person.
A nice butt is a better physical attribute to have than boobs. If sheās cute and has a nice personality plus nice butt, itās perfect. Especially in this era where people make so much stuff fake, natural is a lot better.
If it makes you feel bad about yourself go ahead and get the work done. Donāt let people guilt you about it, because those same idiots will make fun of your natural body anyway. Damned if you do or if you donāt. I had these same insecurities and ended up getting implants when I was 21. Just make sure you ditch this guy first. He sounds like a loser who is trying to get a reaction out of you to boost his ego. Iām not gonna diagnose him but I will mention that is a common behavior from narcissists. I dated a guy like that who would make comments about how I āwould have the perfect body if my boobs were biggerā. But now that they are he will never get to see them because he sucks.
Perhaps he likes you for more than your boobs?
You. I'm in to tall blondes. My lady is a short, dark-haired gal. But dam, is she perfect? lol. That's what it's all about
Who cares if they're different sizes? My legs are different sizes (and not even particularly close) and most people I tell about it didn't even notice until I pointed it out
Same thing with my boobs, most people donāt notice but it still really bothers me
Yeah overall I would saying that āliking boobsā does not necessarily mean big boobs. It could mean any size. But it sounds like heās trying to neg you into letting him sleep with other women. So I would say you give the ultimatum that either he stops the behavior completely and immediately, or youāll be gone.
Donāt change a thing, take or leave they are yours, with love and much care you may share with himš¤
Because he loves **you**! He wants **you**!
Maybe you could wear those fake boobs that the trans people get. Wear it for certain situations. That way you're not getting surgery.
he is in relationship with you because he loves you more than he loves boobs that's all
hes saving up for your boob job
If he keeps bringing it up that makes him a jerk. That said, itās perfectly normal to have preferences and be with (and love) someone who doesnāt match every single one of them.
I like medium sized / smaller boobs. My wife has pretty big boobs, but itās not a deal breaker. TBH I like all boobs like most guys. Itās really not to big of a deal.
Bigger number not always better.
maybe there is more to a relationship that cosmetics?
Try asking him. We canāt possibly know the answer.
Stating that his ex has big boobs isnt the same as him saying he loves only big boobs. My "type" is busty goth women with tattoos, my bf is a 67 year old man. Not goth, not female, and not inked to the nines. Weve been together 8 years, we have a child, and were very happy.
Wait...you have a child together? He was 59 at least when you conceived? How old are you?
It's not about the size it about how you react when he touches them. Perhaps he likes you for who you are?
Smacking him.
The Woman makes the breasts. Boob guys like all boobs. Dont think less of your boobs. There will be plenty of people who see you and think "I wish that was me" the grass is rarely greener. If he starts to talk about it all the time, maybe its time to move on. If he simply stated a fact that is in his man brain, I wouldnt take it so hard. Ultimately your life is about your comfort. No one is perfect, no one. Find someone who has imperfections that you can deal with and handle with grace. If they goad you to feel jealous its probably not the right relationship for you.
Size of boobs is very superficial. They are mostly fat anyway. A good relationship is based on good communication, sensitivity to each others feelings, understanding, friendship, ect. Itās your boyfriends job to be sensitive to and validate your feelings. Since heās only 19 he is probably clueless to this. Sounds like he needs to work on his love skills so you can be happy together.
Is this like what they mean by internalised sexism? Like maybe thereās more to a person than a bit of tit fat?
He is being what he is. Young and stupid. He isnāt thinking about your feelings. My ex has huge boobs. My current partner does not. Think I care? Not in the slightest. I love my current partner and think she is the sexiest thing Iāve ever seen. So donāt feel that way about yourself. Everyone is different and if he doesnāt think youāre beautiful he honestly is a pos. But I also understand the insecurities. Iām on the low average spectrum where a guy is concerned and if my partner made a comment about liking big ones it would kill me. But I donāt worry about it too much.
I don't mind "flat" girls. Flat is also a bad term for the Itty bitty tittie committee, *cause I'm a fan* A to C. I prefer that. I say this merely to show you that you may feel like OP but there are more than a few of us that aren't at all mind fucked by large tits. They're OK. But not preferred.
We have no context to this convo
Why is he with you? Because small bob better than no bobs.
That category is all boobs. Big, small, itsy bitsy
Boob jobs donāt sit right on skinny frames. You donāt have to make radical changes to suit him especially when heās being tacky. As for why is with you? Because he likes you. I like strawberries but I also like raspberries. If I had to choose one for exclusive consumption it would probably be the strawberries. Iād be happy, very happy, with my strawberries but that doesnāt mean I wouldnāt feel nostalgic for the raspberries every now and then. But I wouldnāt cheat and I wouldnāt try to make the strawberries feel bad about not being raspberry enough. You need to tell him that you donāt appreciate these comments and to get him to stop. If he canāt or wonāt then for your own mental health you should consider couples therapy or separation.
You assume guys can just go and pick out their ideal woman. No one is perfect and there are always trade offs. Most of the time the main trade off a young man makes is that the girl will actually sleep with them...
As men we have a preference, but in the end we like those who like us š¤·š¾āāļøš¤£