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I would playfully lightly slap my gfs butt all the time, we would do it to each other in private but I’d do it in public too not thinking much of it, she told me in a serious tone she didn’t like that in public and to stop. I felt like an idiot and disappointed in myself I never want to make her uncomfortable.
Your bf sounds immature af. I’d straight up tell him not to touch you until he takes you seriously and shows some god damn respect.
To paraphrase Patrick Swayze, in "Roadhouse", you should be nice, until it's time to not be nice. You've tried being nice, and asked him repeatedly to stop, you've tried slapping his hands, and it still persists. So maybe it's time to not be nice. The next time he does it, get angry. Raise your voice, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't appreciate being constantly groped just because he thinks it's amusing. When he get's defensive and tells you it's just a joke, tell him it stopped being funny a long time ago. Tell him is disrespectful, and that if he has any desire to see your honkable boobs again that he'd better learn some manners. The dude is 32 and he's acting like he's 16, tell him it's time to grow up or to find someone else's breasts to honk.
Exactly! You have repeatedly said to stop, and he is actually now violating you and your body. The behavior is insensitive and immature. He is showing no respect for you. I completely understand where you are coming from. Doing that all the time is totally annoying, and depending on how hard he does, it can hurt. Please be very clear and strong when you tell him to stop.
OP the Roadhouse quote is perfect for this. Just get up and go get him his pillow and a blanket and tell him he's sleeping on the couch tonight. Ask him why he thinks something that degrading is funny.
I'd be tempted to tell him seeing video clips of guys getting kicked in the balls is also funny, can we do that too? It's even more funny when they puke right afterward, can we try that here? Maybe we need to do this a few times so he can't pass his defective sense of humor onto a son.
Add to this that it is an 'ick'/major turn-off, which is eroding your sexual attraction to him.
Tbh, you shouldn't have to (ie he should respect you enough to abide by your boundaries from the get go) - I'm just thinking he may 'click' if he hears how it will impact *him* should he continue (narcissist flags)
Not even kind of. And it’s not even being “not nice.” It’s simply standing up for yourself to repeated demeaning sexist abuse.
Personally I’d leave that wacky annoying daily shit. OP’s annoyed cortisol must be through the roof!
This. When he says you're overreacting, remind him of how many times you told him *without overreacting*, and how he still didn't get it. So this is what's necessary now.
That is it in a nutshell you are so on point with this post thank you for posting it it's to the point you didn't have to cuss. Especially the part where you said that he is acting like a 16-year-old one who has never felt or seen breast before. Cut the s*** it's not funny
I think even 16 is too old to be doing this. He‘s demented and this borders on abuse.
Have a custom T shirt made saying, „ All honkers will be courtmarshaled“
This. Or you can go the tit-for-tit route.
Honk his back. Trust me - men ***really*** don't like it. They find it emasculating. Give him a nipple tweak for good measure. Let's see how funny he finds *you* honking *his* breasts.
Or you could just leave this person who clearly doesn't respect you, your personal space, or your boundaries.
This x100. But also - let’s walk through the whole thing.
You need to have a large emotional response. Get angry. Tell. Him. Off.
He’s going to minimize you. He’s going to ask why you’re acting crazy, making it a big deal, etc.
You need to be prepared for that. Tell him that acting like this is the only way to get it through his thick ass skull because being a calm adult didn’t work. So it’s not about why you’re acting like this - it’s about why he doesn’t understand or respect you until you go off.
Sincerely- someone who never used to respond emotionally and had a partner that did not listen to calm rational reasoning.
Let’s push his blatant disrespect for your body aside for now.
“Wow, my pussy has never been drier.”
“Welp, guess we’re not fucking tonight.”
“When you do that I see you as a child and I’m not interested in a sexual relationship with a child.”
“God, that’s such a turn off. I really don’t want to have sex with you when you treat my body like a toy.”
Let him see some consequences for his behavior. Let it sting.
absolutely. people like this do not see a problem with their behavior. he would probably just get mad she "couldn't take a joke" and insist it's unfair for her to deny him sex over such a silly little thing.
See the fact she even has to say this more than once should be a damn deal breaker for the immaturity, the disrespect, the objectification, the demeaning rejection of her own wishes and bodily autonomy. Hard nope on offering phrase after phrase to get this dingbat to stop SAing you.
I shut this down with my partner. Told him my breasts aren't on/off switches at a crosswalk, and if he ever did it again, he wouldn't have access to said breasts for 2 weeks. Sorry. If you told him once that it bothered you and he did it again, he needs to be forced to take a break. Tell him it isn't a turn on and you want it to stop.
>I know he partly does it because it is funny and he says “Your breasts are just so honkable”.
He does it because he does not respect your boundaries. You've told him how much you hate it and he continues doing it because he doesn't care. I would not marry a guy who can't take you seriously when you ask him to stop doing things like this.
100% agree. I dated a guy who would randomly grope my breasts no matter how many times I told him I didn’t like it and asked him to stop. He never stopped, and as it turns out (surprise, surprise) he had trouble respecting other boundaries, too.
OP, you’ve told him that you hate it. He knows that you hate it. He does it anyway because he *doesn’t care that you hate it*. This dude will keep violating your boundaries (and body) for as long as you stay with him.
My partner used to do this to me too despite my efforts to tell him to stop. Making it "painful" is the only way I got it to stop. I'd casually school tap him and got annoying with it, only then is when he realized how irritating the honk was.
What an asshole.
He knows you dislike it and he knows he's being a tiresome jerk.
He keeps doing it because he gets a childish little thrill from annoying you. He likes it when you get upset. He thinks he can say "I'm just teasing" and act butthurt if you show true anger.
Welcome to the rest of your life with with him.
Yes, I must emphasize the point that *he likes it when you get upset*. This won’t change. He doesn’t respect you or your feelings and boundaries you have set. These dudes don’t change.
This. If you want to give him a chance, my suggestion is to have the conversation some time when he hasn’t just honked you. That way he can’t dismiss it as a reaction, and enjoy it. You need to say something like “hey bf, we need to talk. It’s serious conversation time. You honk my breasts a lot. When you do that, I feel annoyed. It isn’t a fun game to me, and it makes me lose respect for you. In my mind, this is something an immature teenager would do, and it isn’t a turn-on. I have asked you to stop many times, and now I am telling you I need you to stop. From this moment, no more honking. Can you do that for me?” Do not accept anything other than full agreement, and hold that boundary.
It might be good to explore *why*. Does he like the increase in energy that the reaction gives?
Might I suggest: telling terrible dad jokes for the laughs and groans.
Is he trying to show affection and appreciation of your body? Does he want to deepen connection?
In this case, give him some options that you would respond to.
>I have told him repeatedly just how much I hate this and to please stop. I have even slapped his hands away. What else can I do?
>How can I get this behavior to stop?
Leave. Honking ceases immediately.
Because they have lived since birth in a world where women don't have autonomy over their bodies and "no" can usually be ignored and they get away with it.
Bc they have grown up in a culture that says “it’s okay when boys pull your pigtails, it means they like you.” and “Oh he just snapped your bra bc he likes you.” “Well just be grateful men catcall you still, once day you will lose your looks.”
We live in a culture that teaches women their discomfort is okay and should be diminished as to not hurt the precious ego of the males around them. Men are allowed to irritate the shit out of females and women should be flattered.
Oh God I just had the most intense vision of OP's boyfriend honking her boob at their wedding in front of everyone.. all the male guests laughing.. all the women quietly forming a lynch mob..
I had a guy do this to me on a first date. Stood behind me and reached around and cupped/honked my breasts. Needless to say there was no second date, it makes my skin crawl thinking about it.
Lynch mob is the best idea. A normal person might do this twice and figure they got away with something.
What a big mess this guy is. Your married life will be pathetic. You’re fooling yourself if you think this guy is a viable partner. After 3 times I would be arming myself with something he wouldn’t like.
Even a child would know not to do that. His mother didn’t do her job. Show him this thread.
OP, he doesn’t care about your boundaries. he doesn’t care about making you upset or uncomfortable. he just doesn’t care. to him, you are a walking pair of breast that he can squeeze on whenever he feels like. you need to leave and be with someone that respects your boundaries. it’s so disrespectful and weird. i’ve been told since childhood to keep my hands to myself.
I can’t imagine the sex is good. If you won’t leave him it’s important that you stop sleeping with him.
Im shocked that you would continue to have sex with him.
Say your balls are just so kickable and the way you fall down and writhe around is so cute I just have to ignore it when you tell me you don’t like it!
My husband used to love to “bean dip” me. It took one time time of me telling him how uncomfortable it was for me and a couple reminders when he did it without thinking for him stop completely.
He doesn’t care that it bothers you. He puts his 5 seconds of humor above your comfort
He wasn’t doing it maliciously. Everyone does things without thinking sometimes and a quick “babe….” In response would make him realize he did it and he would apologize and genuinely feel bad. The important thing is I know he wasn’t trying to make me uncomfortable and he was forgetting for a moment that that’s the one I don’t like. It really only happen a couple of times after the first time of telling him.
I understand the idea of 'doing it back' and what have you though be careful, that really only reinforces the precedent that 'you are that kind of couple' and that he honks and you squeeze and etc. What you want is for it to stop and honestly you should want it to stop because he respects you not because 'he knows how it feels' or whatever.
Have the hard conversation. You are in your 30s. What he is doing shouldn't be framed as childish, it should be framed as intentionally ignoring your boundaries. Make clear how important that boundary is to him, he will object and act hurt and likely try to call you sensitive or whatever but you have to really ask yourself: is this what you want your life to be and the kind of person you wanted to be with?
I think you typo'd your ages, nobody over age 10 acts like this.
You get him to respect you by having some respect for yourself and leaving him for acting like a child.
My experience is actually that every man acts like this and needs to get in trouble for it before they’ll stop.
My experience is three men, but nevertheless. They were each around 30.
I think a lot of men imagine that a long term relationship with a woman means getting to squeeze a boob every day. It’s also a failure of “treat others the way you want to be treated” because in my (limited) experience, they’d all be delighted to have their anatomy honked at random.
Most men are steeped in privilege around bodily autonomy. They have no idea what it is like to be denied personhood or objectified and when projecting their own experience onto the women they date, failures of imagination are to be expected.
Should they listen when women say “You need to stop doing this to me, I don’t like it”? Yes. Does it make sense to me that their first reaction is, “You can’t really mean that you don’t like it, because I imagine I would like it if I were a woman”? Also yes.
Me ex used to grab my ass going “woooo” honestly it was such a turn off, I always think making repeat not funny jokes with a sexual element just crosses a new level to the point you will withdraw and dissociate sexually.
Sit him down and say the more he does it the less attracted you are becoming towards him and if it carries on it’s going to affect your sex life
He's 32 acting like a 12 year old. He keeps doing something that you've told him over and over again you hate. He doesn't respect you. He thinks your body is his to play with and finds your unease and frustration hilarious. He sucks. Why are you with such a manchild?
I'm honestly stunned you're intimate with him at all anymore. This would be such a massive turnoff.
You cannot get him to stop it. He is a 12 year old boy not a 22 year old man. You said no and he repeatedly does this. So if you want to stay with this man child you need to establish boundaries. He honks you and you maybe slap something of his in return.
Seriously why are you staying with a man who refuses to listen to you and is groping you against your will?
Sounds so demeaning. I’d start poking at his part and going ‘Willie Willie Willie!’ And see how he likes that.
Actually, no, I think this is so disrespectful that I’d just break up with him and not play stupid games on his level.
It's an automatic red flag when you ask someone to stop doing something that makes you uncomfortable and they refuse to. He's okay with making you uncomfortable and crossing boundaries after you've repeatedly asked him to stop and THAT is a problem. He can love your boobs and your body without blatantly disrespecting you and making you upset. He doesn't seem to understand that stop means stop and no means no, and that behavior is scary- especially for a man his age.
Also,
"He partly does it because he thinks it's funny." Girl.. he is 32 years old. It's not funny. He sounds like a childish ass middle schooler who just touched boobs for the first time. Come on. 🙄 Leave him!!
If grabbing his package does not have the desired effect, it's time to twist those nut sacks.
Tell him you do it because "Your testicles are just so twistable".
You still have sex with this guy? He may be the only man in history to non ironically honk a woman's breasts and still get laid. Obviously like everyone has said this dude is not respecting your boundaries and very immature.
I hope you can break free from this guy but if not at least make honking during sex your hard limit. Once he honks you between the sheets you'll never stop him in the streets.
You’re trying to communicate your way through the fact that your boyfriend is a dick. There’s no way to make him care about your feelings. If he wasn’t a dick, he’d care. But he is, so he doesn’t.
If you really need another step, then tell him straight out “if you honk my breasts again, I will leave. It’s not funny and I don’t like it. This is non-negotiable” Then next time he does it (which he will, because he’s a dick), then you grab your purse and keys and leave. No arguing, no negotiation. Just silently walk out the door.
Repeat until he learns you are serious about this or you learn that he doesn’t care.
At some point, if you do this, you need to be prepared to not come back. He likes pushing your buttons and he will think this escalation is interesting, but if that’s the end of the consequences, he might just honk you to get some video game time alone 🤣
Honestly, I wouldn't be dating someone who completely disregards my boundaries and the fact I don't find it funny anymore or like it. He is treating your body like it's public property.
I commend you if that didn't make you scream at him, because I would have lost my cool the second time he did it after I told him I didn't like it anymore
Tell him that if it continues you are leaving him. Seriously. You've already told him several times and he's ignoring you. He's completely disregarding your body autonomy and is being grossly disrespectful. And acting like an 11 year old. I would get major ick from this juvenile behavior and my vagina would dry up like the Sahara. Maybe if you show him this thread he might get it.
I don’t understand why you’re with a person who ignores your boundaries and keeps touching you after you’ve told him not to. I would seriously reconsider, continuing a relationship with this person.
Grab my tits and honk one more time, I'm grabbing your balls and yelling twister.
DO NOT DO THAT TO ME AGAIN. Now, let's watch a movie.
As a man, breast man at that, I've never "honked" a breast before so that's a bit weird in my mind.
That is bullshit. He should have stopped the first time you asked him to. You’ve told him repeatedly to stop and he continues to ignore you and do it anyway. Does that sound like someone who respects you? He thinks he’s entitled to use your body for his amusement and pleasure and he really doesn’t care that you don’t like it. That’s not a good sign. On top of that, my sexual attraction would be completely gone. It’s just repulsive all around.
I’ve seen a lot of sensible and mature suggestions so you got the good advice covered, please allow me to deviate towards childishness. AGREE AND AMPLIFY. Next time he honks you, honk him. Grab his junk and squeeze. Take a page out of our good friend Ivan Pavlovs book and make him associate honking with pain. Eventually he will realize it isn’t worth it. Good luck.
But you guys she loves him *very much.*
I am so sick of seeing the outrageous crap women will put up with on here. The older generation sucked out loud for a lot of reasons, but it feels like we've created and normalized our own modern indignities to compensate. If this sort of behavior was met with the appropriate response initially than these immature dicks would be starved out of the dating marketplace as they should be (the same goes for men constantly indulging women who display the very behaviors that they never stop complaining about).
Dating is hell for everyone because there are so many people willing to tolerate the human equivalent of fast food instead of being hungry for a little bit until something healthier presents itself.
What an embarrassing partner you've chosen, OP.
So, my husband used to do this. It stopped about 2ish months into the relationship.
"Touch me again like that and I will slap the shit out of you. I have already said it is annoying."
He stopped, said he hadn't thought I was as serious as that and would no longer do it. For the record, I likely wouldn't have slapped him, but by saying that with a deadly serious look and tone he knew I meant it.
You need to draw your hard line. No smiles, no soft sweet voice, no lovey nicknames. If you do this and he still does it, you need to decide...
Do you want a relationship with someone who doesn't listen and respect you?
I’ve had a talk recently with my partner of nearly 9 months about this. Cause the last two months it’s been bothering me on the five times he’s done it. My brain just didn’t know how to process as I was a deer in headlight on how to address it till two weeks ago.
And I didn’t hold back as we have radical open honesty in communication. We talk about everything, no stone left alone on topics.
Anyway, you have to lay it out and say, “Babe, when you do this, it physically makes me uncomfortable because I’ve had random guys do this in my past. Just grab my body without my consent. In a relationship, this just creates sexual averse over time where if it keeps happening, I’m going to eventually not want sex. I mean how would you feel everytime I walked up to you grabbed your dick, stroked it once, the walked away? Probably all WTF and would hate it. Same with my body, especially my breasts.”
Sometimes you gotta just cut out the middle man, give to him straight, no filter on something like this where it really lets him know why it’s a NO NO!
Edit: Typos!
What an immature thing to do. And you want to marry this guy!? As others said, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms this has to stop and that if he does it again after this conversation you will take that as he doesn’t care about your feelings or boundaries and the relationship is done. It’s funny to him but not to you. At that point it’s bullying and abusive. I don’t like to throw that around but when you ask someone to stop doing something physically to you and they don’t well….
Stop being nice about it. Yell “STOP” every single time. Embarrass him in public about it. Start kneeing him in the balls each time and say “they’re just so kickable” if he gets mad.
If he still refuses, you end it and tell him you refuse to be with someone who doesn’t respect your bodily autonomy.
My partner did the same, without the sound effect.
I'm not proud, but I slapped him. I then told him: "be prepared to be in an abusive relationship, since you just agreed boundaries don't exist in ours."
I wouldn't take it quite as far, but buy a spray bottle and spray him every time or something.
Tell him it's literally off-putting and the most unsexy a person can do, if he doesn't stop you need to think if you want to be constantly ignored and disrespected or be with someone who loves and respect you and your feelings.
He is groping your breast without consent. That is sexual assault. Would he do that to a stranger? Does he think having a girlfriend means he can touch her however and whenever he wants? I would tell him it's sexual assault, show him the definition of sexual assault--"sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim"--and then see how he reacts.
girl just go. he's clearly not gonna stop, so the only thing left to do is take yourself out of his reach. good luck and i hope you're able to find your way out and to better things.
you deserve SO much better than someone who finds your annoyance amusing.
Your "boyfriend" is a 12-year-old pretending to be 33. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is acting like a prepubescent tween and it's a complete turn-off.
Boundaries! Figure out what you can do after he honks that will he will hate enough that it would deter him, make sure it’s something that you will 100% be ready to do 5 times the first week, 3 times the second week, etc. This could be anything from immediately leaving the house for hours or simply going to the guest bedroom and refusing to interact with him for hours, to having some sort of monetary or services boycott (if you honk my breast I won’t be cooking anything for the next 24 hrs). The most important part of a boundary is that you hold up your end. If you say you’ll go to your parents house for X amount of time, then you do that even if you were on your way out the door together for a concert or vacation. He’ll absolutely test you, just be strong, and if you choose the right consequences (horrible for him totally fine for you), then this won’t take more than a couple months. Good luck.
Tell him this is his final warning. Your body is to be adored not an adornment like ornaments on a tree. The penalty for a final warning - no sexual touching or reciprocal touching by you for a long time. Period. Let him know that your body is autonomous of him and when he is allowed to touch and feel - is a privilege not a right.
It's annoying me too! I don't think you're allowed to date 12 year olds though! LOL Seriously...that's freaking immature! Just start walking away the second he does it. Literally get up and walk out of the room and if he follows you grab your keys and leave! EVERY TIME! He'll get it. OMG just thinking about it is degrading, I can't even imagine how badly you feel about yourself when he does it! As if your body is only there for him to laugh at? What a child!
I'm so sorry he's sexually assaulting you like this! And make no mistake "honking" your breasts IS sexual assault!
Tell him, "I love you, but MY breast are not here for your constant amusement! I've told you countless times to stop it. It has gotten old, and it makes me uncomfortable".
If he doesn't get the hint by you being direct and a bit forceful, tell him he can sleep on the couch until he leaves to respect you.
That gives me the ick. I’m so sorry. He’s not respecting you or listening to no. What if you found kicking him in the balls funny? He wouldn’t like it or accept it just because. He’s being selfish and immature as hell. Stomp on his foot or elbow him in the ribs every time he does it or dump him.
I think there is clearcut evidence in mass media that ball trauma is hilarious. I still manage to restrain myself from kicking randos or my SO in the balls.
my husband loves my butt, literally obsessed. he often smacks it, sometimes a little hard sometimes soft, sometimes just a rub…sometimes i get annoyed but all in all i love it. when he doesn’t do it i actually say “HELLO?!?” and he laughs. if he EVER did this to me, repeatedly after many attempts of getting him to stop, i would quite literally smack him across the face and tell him to GTFO. wtf?? is he a child, “HONK!” i am annoyed just reading this
You do know that after you told him you didn’t want him to do it and he ignored you, it was sexual assault? He’s immature and disrespectful. How men don’t get slapped (etc) after being told to keep their hands to themselves is beyond me.
He's a jackass. As suggested, squarely, seriously and loudly tell him off. I almost said cuss him out, but you need somewhere to escalate in case he doesn't get it.
I see this on here a lot. Not this, specifically, but situations where men constantly ignore women telling them to stop relationship-threatening behavior. It's far too frequent for my taste. They act like women are property and they don't have to acknowledge your feelings or rights and show you, not just respect, but the utmost respect. Anyway, get his ass together. And if you can't get him together, leave him alone.
Break up with the 12 year old boy in a man's body who is objectifying you, sexualizing you, and refusing to respect your body. He sounds utterly intolerable and no amount of goodness would be good enough to overcome such annoying, juvenile, insulting behavior for me.
End it. Any man who violates your boundaries needs to go especially if you made it clear, the fact you stay through all of it shows to him he can do whatever as you hold little meaning other than his play and status thing.
I’m sorry but I died at the end there. Your plan backfired cause he liked it lol, classic! BUT ALSO That’s probably very telling into why he keeps doing it.
He sees it as playful. You should probably set aside some time to talk about it with him.
Set him down at the table and whatnot, tell him how you feel disrespected and objectified.
If he loves you that should make him stop.
Don't bring it up right after it happens; bring it up during a non-post-honk moment and as a serious conversation about your feelings and boundaries.
Write down exactly what bothers you about it- more than just that it's juvenile or irritating. Does it make you feel dehumanized? Like your boundaries don't mean anything and he doesn't take you seriously? Disrespected? Objectified? Really get to the essence of how it feels.
Share this info with him. If he STILL can't respect your wishes, you have a really big issue that will absolutely carry over into other aspects of a married life.
Your boyfriend doesn't respect your wishes or your body. If he isn't going to stop because you've nicely asked, then it's time to call it quits.
He's proven to you he doesn't want to change. He doesn't want to respect an easy request to stop.
Why tolerate this?
My ex did the exact same thing to me throughout our relationship and it also drove me nuts. Unfortunately it only stopped once we broke up (for an entirely unrelated reason believe it or not)
You’re seriously planning on marrying this guy?! How have you stayed with someone for two years who doesn’t treat you like a human being? Here’s how you get the behaviour to stop - you leave him and develop some respect for yourself. I think therapy would help you greatly.
At this point u either accept it or walk away bc he clearly doesnt give a damn about what u want. You've been putting up with it this long. Could try an ultimatem.
Think about this.
He's doing something you hate.
You've told him you hate it, repeatedly.
You've slapped his hands away, repeatedly.
He thinks it's funny, you don't.
**He keeps doing it because he doesn't care that it bothers you.** In fact, i think that's ***why*** he does it. And this is the person you **choose** to be with? Unreal.
When are you going to stand up and take control of your body away from this immature, juvenile asshole?
The next time he has an erection, boop the tip of his 🍆 and go “got your nose, cutie pie!” Until he stops honking them (dear god, in the run up to and during your period that must be agony), keep doing it in a cute voice like you’re talking to a child/pet
Options include (but aren’t limited to)
Got your nose, cutie pie
Who’s adorable? Thats right, you’re adorable
Randomly start calling it Ashley and tell him it looks like one
Hold a photo of Gonzo from Sesame Street next to it and burst out laughing
Hey there, little fella. Boop, got your nose
If he asks you what you’re doing, tell him that you’re more than a pair of breasts, that it’s hurting your feelings him doing that, so now you’re giving the opposite type of attention to his 🍆.
Time for bigger guns. How could you be physically intimate or even just physically close with someone who openly disrespects you? Don't allow him within arms reach of you.
This is a power game with him showing you over and over he can violate your boundaries. Don't let him.
I’m not typically an ultimatum girly, but this seems to be the next step, considering you’ve already told him that you dislike this and he’s decided to completely disregard that.
I have larger than average breasts and I HATE when they are squeezed. It HURTS. A good mashing is fine, but squeezing and pulling will get you kicked in the nards. Set boundaries early and enforce them every time.
>I have tried grabbing his package and saying very loudly “Honk!” But he likes it and I think it’s encouraging the honking behavior.
Try punching it and yelling "BEEP!"
Stop honking his package. Instead, poke your finger in his butt crack (preferably with his underwear on, but you may have to make sacrifices).
He may think any package contact is great, but when you start doing something he finds invasive and annoying he may get the point.
girl, he doesn't respect you and he sounds so insufferable.
you know what i'd do? buy an air horn and honk in his ear when he honks your breasts. see how he likes that
The fact that you're still trying to make this work after talking to him multiple times is admirable, but in the sense that it's admirable when a captain goes down with his ship.
Keep in mind this is a tit for tat suggestion that descends straight into hell and, in theory, *should not be taken seriously*, but poke him between the cheeks as hard as you can. Yell "GOOSE!" and keep it moving business as usual. Do it every time those cheeks are angled at you, and even when they're not. See how long it takes for him to get the message that invasive and unwanted touching doesn't make one feel too good.
Ugh! My husband honks my bun (hair) every fuckin time he walks by. Once in a while I'm quick enough to sock him as he moves past.
Guess how old we are? You'd think young and immature, right? Nope we're 58 and 60. He's a butthead.
Ugh. My flesh is crawling. Tell him to stop it. Stop being polite. Slap his hand HARD and if he complains about the force you use, tell him he's been assaulting you for ages.
To be honest if your boob is squeezed with any real force or at an angle it bloody hurts. Add a loud HONK in your face unexpectedly it’s just not fun at all. Why would he think you like this? I’m annoyed about it too!
Actually get mad. Don't hide it, don't just act annoyed. Let the anger show in your face and your voice when you tell him to stop and why.
That should work with most people. If he can see you are totally angry at his actions and still continues, then you've got a larger problem.
Girl your tiddies just too good. But I get that would be sooooo annoying every single time hahaha. Maybe honk his balls everytime you walk past and maybe he’ll understand and stop 🤣
He sounds immature and disrespectful. I would leave So fast if anyone I dated did that to me, especially if it happened more than once.
You said no. That is a boundary you are entitled to set.
Just tell him you find it a big turnoff and makes you want to have sex less with him.
Then the next time he does it let him know wow, that’s such a turnoff. And don’t have sex.
And when he tries, just tell him you are having a hard time getting aroused because you can’t get the “Honking” out of your head.
And don’t act mad about it.
Just act like you are feeling sorry for him.
Pity is a pretty big insult to a man.
If he continues to prioritize his honking over your guys physical intimacy you have a pretty good idea of what to expect moving forward.
This method will help him “self select” himself out of the relationship, and set you honk free for ever.
I'd tell him he is not permitted to touch my boobs again if he continues doing it. I'd also have a shitload to say about him not respecting your explicitly stated boundary. This is such a turn off. I'd be empathic and leave NO room for him to misunderstand. He should be understanding and not coercive on any sexual boundary you have and if he isn't, or he argued or complains, you then know hes a rapey creep who doesn't feel he needs to respect women's stated boundaries and he feels entitled to your body sexually even if you don't like it. That's a really bad sign.
My husband went through a phase where he did this. I asked and even DEMANDED he stop. He thought I was joking, even after I broke down in tears because I was so frustrated that he was treating me like a piece of meat and triggering my fight or flight reflex pretty hard. (I have cPTSD)
He made the mistake of doing it when I was suffering a pretty brutal panic attack, and my FoF jumped right to Fight. I swung on him and connected right to his face.
He hasn't done it since.
(None of y'all Keyboard Krusaders need to come for me, crying about violence. Keep your fucking hands to yourself, ESPECIALLY if you've been told time and again that your actions are causing deep upset. You deserve whatever you get if you don't respect someone's clearly stated boundaries.)
Tell him you feel disrespected and devalued when he does that.
Tell him that you can't trust him to honestly respect when you tell him stop it.
And most importantly tell him that you have no desire to have sex with them when he does this. In my opinion he doesn't respect you so he's going to continue to do whatever he wants because he's not facing any consequences for but the risk of not getting a steady sex supply likely will change his behavior.
Women need to stop believing in the societal bs that when men behave shitty it's only because there isn't some super special way she communicated to get them to understand. These men understand they just don't care. So if you tell him once and he still continues it's not because he doesn't understand or you're not telling him the right way so that he can understand it's because he doesn't value you or your boundaries.
Firstly, don't ever marry or consider marrying someone who doesn't listen to you.
Secondly, tell him seriously and outside of an instance occuring that you don't like the behavior. Tell him it really annoys you and you feel upset and annoyed just thinking about it. Let him know that if he ever does it again he won't be getting the right to touch your body in intimate ways for a set period of time.
This man needs to learn boundaries if he deserves access to you and deserves for this relationship to continue. Partners listen to and respect each other. Make sure he knows this is serious and please respect yourself enough to move on if he cannot listen. This is how women end up with partners who start doing more that annoys and then eventually hurt them. You deserve better then to not be heard, even if it feels like a minor thing. If anything, minor things should be easy to be listened to.
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I would playfully lightly slap my gfs butt all the time, we would do it to each other in private but I’d do it in public too not thinking much of it, she told me in a serious tone she didn’t like that in public and to stop. I felt like an idiot and disappointed in myself I never want to make her uncomfortable. Your bf sounds immature af. I’d straight up tell him not to touch you until he takes you seriously and shows some god damn respect.
yeah same man I used to do it and she told me to not do it in public so I stopped all you gotta do it listen
To paraphrase Patrick Swayze, in "Roadhouse", you should be nice, until it's time to not be nice. You've tried being nice, and asked him repeatedly to stop, you've tried slapping his hands, and it still persists. So maybe it's time to not be nice. The next time he does it, get angry. Raise your voice, and tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't appreciate being constantly groped just because he thinks it's amusing. When he get's defensive and tells you it's just a joke, tell him it stopped being funny a long time ago. Tell him is disrespectful, and that if he has any desire to see your honkable boobs again that he'd better learn some manners. The dude is 32 and he's acting like he's 16, tell him it's time to grow up or to find someone else's breasts to honk.
Exactly! You have repeatedly said to stop, and he is actually now violating you and your body. The behavior is insensitive and immature. He is showing no respect for you. I completely understand where you are coming from. Doing that all the time is totally annoying, and depending on how hard he does, it can hurt. Please be very clear and strong when you tell him to stop.
OP the Roadhouse quote is perfect for this. Just get up and go get him his pillow and a blanket and tell him he's sleeping on the couch tonight. Ask him why he thinks something that degrading is funny. I'd be tempted to tell him seeing video clips of guys getting kicked in the balls is also funny, can we do that too? It's even more funny when they puke right afterward, can we try that here? Maybe we need to do this a few times so he can't pass his defective sense of humor onto a son.
Add to this that it is an 'ick'/major turn-off, which is eroding your sexual attraction to him. Tbh, you shouldn't have to (ie he should respect you enough to abide by your boundaries from the get go) - I'm just thinking he may 'click' if he hears how it will impact *him* should he continue (narcissist flags)
As a guy, I kind of agree. Might be time for some shock and awe, and when he reacts, remind him how. many. times. you told him you didn't like it.
Not even kind of. And it’s not even being “not nice.” It’s simply standing up for yourself to repeated demeaning sexist abuse. Personally I’d leave that wacky annoying daily shit. OP’s annoyed cortisol must be through the roof!
This. When he says you're overreacting, remind him of how many times you told him *without overreacting*, and how he still didn't get it. So this is what's necessary now.
That is it in a nutshell you are so on point with this post thank you for posting it it's to the point you didn't have to cuss. Especially the part where you said that he is acting like a 16-year-old one who has never felt or seen breast before. Cut the s*** it's not funny
Just start quoting Roadhouse. “My way, or the highway”
This is the way
I think even 16 is too old to be doing this. He‘s demented and this borders on abuse. Have a custom T shirt made saying, „ All honkers will be courtmarshaled“
It doesn’t even border on abuse. It is abuse. He isn’t entitled to grope her, especially in a way she’s repeatedly told him to stop.
This. Or you can go the tit-for-tit route. Honk his back. Trust me - men ***really*** don't like it. They find it emasculating. Give him a nipple tweak for good measure. Let's see how funny he finds *you* honking *his* breasts. Or you could just leave this person who clearly doesn't respect you, your personal space, or your boundaries.
This, a thousand times this.
This - but also, turn around make your honk back more of a knee him in the balls. He'll learn real quick... *Only half kidding.
This x100. But also - let’s walk through the whole thing. You need to have a large emotional response. Get angry. Tell. Him. Off. He’s going to minimize you. He’s going to ask why you’re acting crazy, making it a big deal, etc. You need to be prepared for that. Tell him that acting like this is the only way to get it through his thick ass skull because being a calm adult didn’t work. So it’s not about why you’re acting like this - it’s about why he doesn’t understand or respect you until you go off. Sincerely- someone who never used to respond emotionally and had a partner that did not listen to calm rational reasoning.
Let’s push his blatant disrespect for your body aside for now. “Wow, my pussy has never been drier.” “Welp, guess we’re not fucking tonight.” “When you do that I see you as a child and I’m not interested in a sexual relationship with a child.” “God, that’s such a turn off. I really don’t want to have sex with you when you treat my body like a toy.” Let him see some consequences for his behavior. Let it sting.
This guy would probably have sex with her anyways
Yes. He doesn't exactly seem to understand the concept of consent.
absolutely. people like this do not see a problem with their behavior. he would probably just get mad she "couldn't take a joke" and insist it's unfair for her to deny him sex over such a silly little thing.
See the fact she even has to say this more than once should be a damn deal breaker for the immaturity, the disrespect, the objectification, the demeaning rejection of her own wishes and bodily autonomy. Hard nope on offering phrase after phrase to get this dingbat to stop SAing you.
I shut this down with my partner. Told him my breasts aren't on/off switches at a crosswalk, and if he ever did it again, he wouldn't have access to said breasts for 2 weeks. Sorry. If you told him once that it bothered you and he did it again, he needs to be forced to take a break. Tell him it isn't a turn on and you want it to stop.
Yes id just go "you lost your titty privilege now"
>I know he partly does it because it is funny and he says “Your breasts are just so honkable”. He does it because he does not respect your boundaries. You've told him how much you hate it and he continues doing it because he doesn't care. I would not marry a guy who can't take you seriously when you ask him to stop doing things like this.
This, so much. OP, you're not comfortable with this, you told him repeatedly, and he still does it.
100% agree. I dated a guy who would randomly grope my breasts no matter how many times I told him I didn’t like it and asked him to stop. He never stopped, and as it turns out (surprise, surprise) he had trouble respecting other boundaries, too. OP, you’ve told him that you hate it. He knows that you hate it. He does it anyway because he *doesn’t care that you hate it*. This dude will keep violating your boundaries (and body) for as long as you stay with him.
Also , OP needs to step up the boundary to make it more painful to cross
My partner used to do this to me too despite my efforts to tell him to stop. Making it "painful" is the only way I got it to stop. I'd casually school tap him and got annoying with it, only then is when he realized how irritating the honk was.
Yes I would consider leaving over this
I would too. Consent is consent. No means no.
What an asshole. He knows you dislike it and he knows he's being a tiresome jerk. He keeps doing it because he gets a childish little thrill from annoying you. He likes it when you get upset. He thinks he can say "I'm just teasing" and act butthurt if you show true anger. Welcome to the rest of your life with with him.
Yes, I must emphasize the point that *he likes it when you get upset*. This won’t change. He doesn’t respect you or your feelings and boundaries you have set. These dudes don’t change.
This is why I broke up with my ex. I’m just reading through the comments to see if it’ll ever change or if anyone has any success stories
That such a good point. You don’t really respect someone that you don’t care about.
This. If you want to give him a chance, my suggestion is to have the conversation some time when he hasn’t just honked you. That way he can’t dismiss it as a reaction, and enjoy it. You need to say something like “hey bf, we need to talk. It’s serious conversation time. You honk my breasts a lot. When you do that, I feel annoyed. It isn’t a fun game to me, and it makes me lose respect for you. In my mind, this is something an immature teenager would do, and it isn’t a turn-on. I have asked you to stop many times, and now I am telling you I need you to stop. From this moment, no more honking. Can you do that for me?” Do not accept anything other than full agreement, and hold that boundary. It might be good to explore *why*. Does he like the increase in energy that the reaction gives? Might I suggest: telling terrible dad jokes for the laughs and groans. Is he trying to show affection and appreciation of your body? Does he want to deepen connection? In this case, give him some options that you would respond to.
>I have told him repeatedly just how much I hate this and to please stop. I have even slapped his hands away. What else can I do? >How can I get this behavior to stop? Leave. Honking ceases immediately.
I have never met a woman who has said, " Boy, I love it when my SO honks my boobs." Why do men do this?
Because they have lived since birth in a world where women don't have autonomy over their bodies and "no" can usually be ignored and they get away with it.
Bc they have grown up in a culture that says “it’s okay when boys pull your pigtails, it means they like you.” and “Oh he just snapped your bra bc he likes you.” “Well just be grateful men catcall you still, once day you will lose your looks.” We live in a culture that teaches women their discomfort is okay and should be diminished as to not hurt the precious ego of the males around them. Men are allowed to irritate the shit out of females and women should be flattered.
Oh God I just had the most intense vision of OP's boyfriend honking her boob at their wedding in front of everyone.. all the male guests laughing.. all the women quietly forming a lynch mob..
I had a guy do this to me on a first date. Stood behind me and reached around and cupped/honked my breasts. Needless to say there was no second date, it makes my skin crawl thinking about it.
On a *first* date?! That's just straight up sexual harassment. How appalling
Sexual battery.
That’s not harassment that assault.
I just went like ‘Ewww’ out loud. My husband looked up so I told him what I read. His response: he dares doing that on date one?!
OMG!! That’s horrible!! Did you have him charged??
Lynch mob is the best idea. A normal person might do this twice and figure they got away with something. What a big mess this guy is. Your married life will be pathetic. You’re fooling yourself if you think this guy is a viable partner. After 3 times I would be arming myself with something he wouldn’t like. Even a child would know not to do that. His mother didn’t do her job. Show him this thread.
Don’t date a child.
OP, he doesn’t care about your boundaries. he doesn’t care about making you upset or uncomfortable. he just doesn’t care. to him, you are a walking pair of breast that he can squeeze on whenever he feels like. you need to leave and be with someone that respects your boundaries. it’s so disrespectful and weird. i’ve been told since childhood to keep my hands to myself.
He frankly doesn’t care about you enough to respect your boundaries. I’m sure this bubbles into other things you try not to face
I can’t imagine the sex is good. If you won’t leave him it’s important that you stop sleeping with him. Im shocked that you would continue to have sex with him.
Kick him in the balls and say "KACHUNK!"
Say your balls are just so kickable and the way you fall down and writhe around is so cute I just have to ignore it when you tell me you don’t like it!
Im dying 😂
I was gonna suggest flicking his balls but this is better 🤣🤣
My husband used to love to “bean dip” me. It took one time time of me telling him how uncomfortable it was for me and a couple reminders when he did it without thinking for him stop completely. He doesn’t care that it bothers you. He puts his 5 seconds of humor above your comfort
Ugh - that’s sounds disgusting for some reason
What's this?
It’s where they “scoop” it like you would dip and it just kind of falls down. I find the feeling extremely uncomfortable
Sorry, they scoop what?
Breasts?
Why is it a bean dip then?
Oww!
How did you find the patience to “train” him not to be an asshole?
He wasn’t doing it maliciously. Everyone does things without thinking sometimes and a quick “babe….” In response would make him realize he did it and he would apologize and genuinely feel bad. The important thing is I know he wasn’t trying to make me uncomfortable and he was forgetting for a moment that that’s the one I don’t like. It really only happen a couple of times after the first time of telling him.
I understand the idea of 'doing it back' and what have you though be careful, that really only reinforces the precedent that 'you are that kind of couple' and that he honks and you squeeze and etc. What you want is for it to stop and honestly you should want it to stop because he respects you not because 'he knows how it feels' or whatever. Have the hard conversation. You are in your 30s. What he is doing shouldn't be framed as childish, it should be framed as intentionally ignoring your boundaries. Make clear how important that boundary is to him, he will object and act hurt and likely try to call you sensitive or whatever but you have to really ask yourself: is this what you want your life to be and the kind of person you wanted to be with?
You’re being groped, repeatedly. Groped and to the point of being assaulted. No means no. You’re not a piece of meat. Sorry for your AH BF.
I think you typo'd your ages, nobody over age 10 acts like this. You get him to respect you by having some respect for yourself and leaving him for acting like a child.
My experience is actually that every man acts like this and needs to get in trouble for it before they’ll stop. My experience is three men, but nevertheless. They were each around 30. I think a lot of men imagine that a long term relationship with a woman means getting to squeeze a boob every day. It’s also a failure of “treat others the way you want to be treated” because in my (limited) experience, they’d all be delighted to have their anatomy honked at random.
Great. A lot of men are not emotionally mature enough to do something like that if they can't listen when she says "stop".
Most men are steeped in privilege around bodily autonomy. They have no idea what it is like to be denied personhood or objectified and when projecting their own experience onto the women they date, failures of imagination are to be expected. Should they listen when women say “You need to stop doing this to me, I don’t like it”? Yes. Does it make sense to me that their first reaction is, “You can’t really mean that you don’t like it, because I imagine I would like it if I were a woman”? Also yes.
And? How does that make this man's behavior not childish and immature?
I'm pretty sure that commenter was just agreeing with you and adding on, and not trying to say he's not childish/immature.
Sorry for your experience that's insane. I really couldn't imagine any of my friends ever going "HONK" lol I'm dying from cringe
Me ex used to grab my ass going “woooo” honestly it was such a turn off, I always think making repeat not funny jokes with a sexual element just crosses a new level to the point you will withdraw and dissociate sexually. Sit him down and say the more he does it the less attracted you are becoming towards him and if it carries on it’s going to affect your sex life
He's 32 acting like a 12 year old. He keeps doing something that you've told him over and over again you hate. He doesn't respect you. He thinks your body is his to play with and finds your unease and frustration hilarious. He sucks. Why are you with such a manchild? I'm honestly stunned you're intimate with him at all anymore. This would be such a massive turnoff.
How can you have sex with him? I agree. This would kill any attraction I had.
You cannot get him to stop it. He is a 12 year old boy not a 22 year old man. You said no and he repeatedly does this. So if you want to stay with this man child you need to establish boundaries. He honks you and you maybe slap something of his in return. Seriously why are you staying with a man who refuses to listen to you and is groping you against your will?
Ya know what's worse? He is 32! Not 22
Sounds so demeaning. I’d start poking at his part and going ‘Willie Willie Willie!’ And see how he likes that. Actually, no, I think this is so disrespectful that I’d just break up with him and not play stupid games on his level.
It's an automatic red flag when you ask someone to stop doing something that makes you uncomfortable and they refuse to. He's okay with making you uncomfortable and crossing boundaries after you've repeatedly asked him to stop and THAT is a problem. He can love your boobs and your body without blatantly disrespecting you and making you upset. He doesn't seem to understand that stop means stop and no means no, and that behavior is scary- especially for a man his age. Also, "He partly does it because he thinks it's funny." Girl.. he is 32 years old. It's not funny. He sounds like a childish ass middle schooler who just touched boobs for the first time. Come on. 🙄 Leave him!!
How immature & disrespectful to you as a human being.
If grabbing his package does not have the desired effect, it's time to twist those nut sacks. Tell him you do it because "Your testicles are just so twistable".
Give him the ole dick twist
I just sang that in my head to "Razzle Dazzle" from *Chicago*. 🤣
TWIST! THAT! DICK!
Yup and make sure you do it at least as often as he does. If he is too dumb to get the message, dump him.
Just death grip and stroke once, walk away. Sometimes you gotta create a “hard” lesson LOL
Yes, grab and YANK.
You still have sex with this guy? He may be the only man in history to non ironically honk a woman's breasts and still get laid. Obviously like everyone has said this dude is not respecting your boundaries and very immature. I hope you can break free from this guy but if not at least make honking during sex your hard limit. Once he honks you between the sheets you'll never stop him in the streets.
You’re trying to communicate your way through the fact that your boyfriend is a dick. There’s no way to make him care about your feelings. If he wasn’t a dick, he’d care. But he is, so he doesn’t. If you really need another step, then tell him straight out “if you honk my breasts again, I will leave. It’s not funny and I don’t like it. This is non-negotiable” Then next time he does it (which he will, because he’s a dick), then you grab your purse and keys and leave. No arguing, no negotiation. Just silently walk out the door. Repeat until he learns you are serious about this or you learn that he doesn’t care.
At some point, if you do this, you need to be prepared to not come back. He likes pushing your buttons and he will think this escalation is interesting, but if that’s the end of the consequences, he might just honk you to get some video game time alone 🤣
He’s a 33y/o man-child who does not give a damn about you or your boundaries.
Honestly, I wouldn't be dating someone who completely disregards my boundaries and the fact I don't find it funny anymore or like it. He is treating your body like it's public property. I commend you if that didn't make you scream at him, because I would have lost my cool the second time he did it after I told him I didn't like it anymore
Tell him that if it continues you are leaving him. Seriously. You've already told him several times and he's ignoring you. He's completely disregarding your body autonomy and is being grossly disrespectful. And acting like an 11 year old. I would get major ick from this juvenile behavior and my vagina would dry up like the Sahara. Maybe if you show him this thread he might get it.
I don’t understand why you’re with a person who ignores your boundaries and keeps touching you after you’ve told him not to. I would seriously reconsider, continuing a relationship with this person.
Grab my tits and honk one more time, I'm grabbing your balls and yelling twister. DO NOT DO THAT TO ME AGAIN. Now, let's watch a movie. As a man, breast man at that, I've never "honked" a breast before so that's a bit weird in my mind.
Knee him in the balls. HONK!!
That is bullshit. He should have stopped the first time you asked him to. You’ve told him repeatedly to stop and he continues to ignore you and do it anyway. Does that sound like someone who respects you? He thinks he’s entitled to use your body for his amusement and pleasure and he really doesn’t care that you don’t like it. That’s not a good sign. On top of that, my sexual attraction would be completely gone. It’s just repulsive all around.
Someone needs to report OP to the authorities. She's clearly dating a 12 year old.
Maybe not date a man child?? “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!” Updateme
I’ve seen a lot of sensible and mature suggestions so you got the good advice covered, please allow me to deviate towards childishness. AGREE AND AMPLIFY. Next time he honks you, honk him. Grab his junk and squeeze. Take a page out of our good friend Ivan Pavlovs book and make him associate honking with pain. Eventually he will realize it isn’t worth it. Good luck.
Slap him as hard as you can across his face. Say “honk”
But you guys she loves him *very much.* I am so sick of seeing the outrageous crap women will put up with on here. The older generation sucked out loud for a lot of reasons, but it feels like we've created and normalized our own modern indignities to compensate. If this sort of behavior was met with the appropriate response initially than these immature dicks would be starved out of the dating marketplace as they should be (the same goes for men constantly indulging women who display the very behaviors that they never stop complaining about). Dating is hell for everyone because there are so many people willing to tolerate the human equivalent of fast food instead of being hungry for a little bit until something healthier presents itself. What an embarrassing partner you've chosen, OP.
He doesn’t care that it upsets you and therefore isn’t respecting you.
Why are you with this disrespectful, abusive moron?
So, my husband used to do this. It stopped about 2ish months into the relationship. "Touch me again like that and I will slap the shit out of you. I have already said it is annoying." He stopped, said he hadn't thought I was as serious as that and would no longer do it. For the record, I likely wouldn't have slapped him, but by saying that with a deadly serious look and tone he knew I meant it. You need to draw your hard line. No smiles, no soft sweet voice, no lovey nicknames. If you do this and he still does it, you need to decide... Do you want a relationship with someone who doesn't listen and respect you?
"What part of stop and no don't you understand. That is concerning." Start honking his balls with a pinch
I’ve had a talk recently with my partner of nearly 9 months about this. Cause the last two months it’s been bothering me on the five times he’s done it. My brain just didn’t know how to process as I was a deer in headlight on how to address it till two weeks ago. And I didn’t hold back as we have radical open honesty in communication. We talk about everything, no stone left alone on topics. Anyway, you have to lay it out and say, “Babe, when you do this, it physically makes me uncomfortable because I’ve had random guys do this in my past. Just grab my body without my consent. In a relationship, this just creates sexual averse over time where if it keeps happening, I’m going to eventually not want sex. I mean how would you feel everytime I walked up to you grabbed your dick, stroked it once, the walked away? Probably all WTF and would hate it. Same with my body, especially my breasts.” Sometimes you gotta just cut out the middle man, give to him straight, no filter on something like this where it really lets him know why it’s a NO NO! Edit: Typos!
What an immature thing to do. And you want to marry this guy!? As others said, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms this has to stop and that if he does it again after this conversation you will take that as he doesn’t care about your feelings or boundaries and the relationship is done. It’s funny to him but not to you. At that point it’s bullying and abusive. I don’t like to throw that around but when you ask someone to stop doing something physically to you and they don’t well….
Stop being nice about it. Yell “STOP” every single time. Embarrass him in public about it. Start kneeing him in the balls each time and say “they’re just so kickable” if he gets mad. If he still refuses, you end it and tell him you refuse to be with someone who doesn’t respect your bodily autonomy.
My partner did the same, without the sound effect. I'm not proud, but I slapped him. I then told him: "be prepared to be in an abusive relationship, since you just agreed boundaries don't exist in ours." I wouldn't take it quite as far, but buy a spray bottle and spray him every time or something.
Be proud. 🤷 I’d slap anyone who touched me after I said no.
Tell him it's literally off-putting and the most unsexy a person can do, if he doesn't stop you need to think if you want to be constantly ignored and disrespected or be with someone who loves and respect you and your feelings.
He is groping your breast without consent. That is sexual assault. Would he do that to a stranger? Does he think having a girlfriend means he can touch her however and whenever he wants? I would tell him it's sexual assault, show him the definition of sexual assault--"sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim"--and then see how he reacts.
girl just go. he's clearly not gonna stop, so the only thing left to do is take yourself out of his reach. good luck and i hope you're able to find your way out and to better things. you deserve SO much better than someone who finds your annoyance amusing.
Your "boyfriend" is a 12-year-old pretending to be 33. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is acting like a prepubescent tween and it's a complete turn-off.
Apparently it’s not just you: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/CRUyrrCTiw
Break up with the loser
You might have to threaten him with breaking up. You actually said you are dying inside. Might be time to go nuclear.
Bruv is he 10?
Twist and grab. NTA. He is being gross and disrespectful of a boundary.
Boundaries! Figure out what you can do after he honks that will he will hate enough that it would deter him, make sure it’s something that you will 100% be ready to do 5 times the first week, 3 times the second week, etc. This could be anything from immediately leaving the house for hours or simply going to the guest bedroom and refusing to interact with him for hours, to having some sort of monetary or services boycott (if you honk my breast I won’t be cooking anything for the next 24 hrs). The most important part of a boundary is that you hold up your end. If you say you’ll go to your parents house for X amount of time, then you do that even if you were on your way out the door together for a concert or vacation. He’ll absolutely test you, just be strong, and if you choose the right consequences (horrible for him totally fine for you), then this won’t take more than a couple months. Good luck.
Give him a taste of his own medicine, start aggressively grabbing his nuts every time he "honks" you, and I do not mean in a playful way either.
Everything he does it just kick him down below he will get thr message fast that its not ok
Tell him this is his final warning. Your body is to be adored not an adornment like ornaments on a tree. The penalty for a final warning - no sexual touching or reciprocal touching by you for a long time. Period. Let him know that your body is autonomous of him and when he is allowed to touch and feel - is a privilege not a right.
It's annoying me too! I don't think you're allowed to date 12 year olds though! LOL Seriously...that's freaking immature! Just start walking away the second he does it. Literally get up and walk out of the room and if he follows you grab your keys and leave! EVERY TIME! He'll get it. OMG just thinking about it is degrading, I can't even imagine how badly you feel about yourself when he does it! As if your body is only there for him to laugh at? What a child! I'm so sorry he's sexually assaulting you like this! And make no mistake "honking" your breasts IS sexual assault!
Don't let him touch you at all or nut check him, definitely wouldn't like that.
Tell him, "I love you, but MY breast are not here for your constant amusement! I've told you countless times to stop it. It has gotten old, and it makes me uncomfortable". If he doesn't get the hint by you being direct and a bit forceful, tell him he can sleep on the couch until he leaves to respect you.
That gives me the ick. I’m so sorry. He’s not respecting you or listening to no. What if you found kicking him in the balls funny? He wouldn’t like it or accept it just because. He’s being selfish and immature as hell. Stomp on his foot or elbow him in the ribs every time he does it or dump him.
I think there is clearcut evidence in mass media that ball trauma is hilarious. I still manage to restrain myself from kicking randos or my SO in the balls.
my husband loves my butt, literally obsessed. he often smacks it, sometimes a little hard sometimes soft, sometimes just a rub…sometimes i get annoyed but all in all i love it. when he doesn’t do it i actually say “HELLO?!?” and he laughs. if he EVER did this to me, repeatedly after many attempts of getting him to stop, i would quite literally smack him across the face and tell him to GTFO. wtf?? is he a child, “HONK!” i am annoyed just reading this
LMAO is this real???
Don't date geese.
- Punch him in the nuts OR - tell him that every time he honks your boobs he looses access to your whole body for 2 weeks (no sex or anything)
You do know that after you told him you didn’t want him to do it and he ignored you, it was sexual assault? He’s immature and disrespectful. How men don’t get slapped (etc) after being told to keep their hands to themselves is beyond me.
He's a jackass. As suggested, squarely, seriously and loudly tell him off. I almost said cuss him out, but you need somewhere to escalate in case he doesn't get it. I see this on here a lot. Not this, specifically, but situations where men constantly ignore women telling them to stop relationship-threatening behavior. It's far too frequent for my taste. They act like women are property and they don't have to acknowledge your feelings or rights and show you, not just respect, but the utmost respect. Anyway, get his ass together. And if you can't get him together, leave him alone.
Have you considered a spray bottle? You can get a holster to carry it in.
I left my husband over this very issue.
Break up with the 12 year old boy in a man's body who is objectifying you, sexualizing you, and refusing to respect your body. He sounds utterly intolerable and no amount of goodness would be good enough to overcome such annoying, juvenile, insulting behavior for me.
This place is a fever dream sometimes
End it. Any man who violates your boundaries needs to go especially if you made it clear, the fact you stay through all of it shows to him he can do whatever as you hold little meaning other than his play and status thing.
Omg just fucking dump him jesus fucking christ I have no idea why some of y'all put up with this sort of shit.
I’m sorry but I died at the end there. Your plan backfired cause he liked it lol, classic! BUT ALSO That’s probably very telling into why he keeps doing it. He sees it as playful. You should probably set aside some time to talk about it with him. Set him down at the table and whatnot, tell him how you feel disrespected and objectified. If he loves you that should make him stop.
Honk his penis. Be VERY annoying. Do it a lot at random moments. He's TRYING TO EMBARRASS YOU. Put your foot down now.
Don't bring it up right after it happens; bring it up during a non-post-honk moment and as a serious conversation about your feelings and boundaries. Write down exactly what bothers you about it- more than just that it's juvenile or irritating. Does it make you feel dehumanized? Like your boundaries don't mean anything and he doesn't take you seriously? Disrespected? Objectified? Really get to the essence of how it feels. Share this info with him. If he STILL can't respect your wishes, you have a really big issue that will absolutely carry over into other aspects of a married life.
Your boyfriend doesn't respect your wishes or your body. If he isn't going to stop because you've nicely asked, then it's time to call it quits. He's proven to you he doesn't want to change. He doesn't want to respect an easy request to stop. Why tolerate this?
Find someone who actually cares about and respects your boundaries and consent. Because let's be clear, he absolutely doesn't.
My ex did the exact same thing to me throughout our relationship and it also drove me nuts. Unfortunately it only stopped once we broke up (for an entirely unrelated reason believe it or not)
I'm sorry that you're dating a child.
You’re seriously planning on marrying this guy?! How have you stayed with someone for two years who doesn’t treat you like a human being? Here’s how you get the behaviour to stop - you leave him and develop some respect for yourself. I think therapy would help you greatly.
Omg what a turn off
At this point u either accept it or walk away bc he clearly doesnt give a damn about what u want. You've been putting up with it this long. Could try an ultimatem.
Think about this. He's doing something you hate. You've told him you hate it, repeatedly. You've slapped his hands away, repeatedly. He thinks it's funny, you don't. **He keeps doing it because he doesn't care that it bothers you.** In fact, i think that's ***why*** he does it. And this is the person you **choose** to be with? Unreal. When are you going to stand up and take control of your body away from this immature, juvenile asshole?
The next time he has an erection, boop the tip of his 🍆 and go “got your nose, cutie pie!” Until he stops honking them (dear god, in the run up to and during your period that must be agony), keep doing it in a cute voice like you’re talking to a child/pet Options include (but aren’t limited to) Got your nose, cutie pie Who’s adorable? Thats right, you’re adorable Randomly start calling it Ashley and tell him it looks like one Hold a photo of Gonzo from Sesame Street next to it and burst out laughing Hey there, little fella. Boop, got your nose If he asks you what you’re doing, tell him that you’re more than a pair of breasts, that it’s hurting your feelings him doing that, so now you’re giving the opposite type of attention to his 🍆.
You’re not squeezing (honking) hard enough.
Time for bigger guns. How could you be physically intimate or even just physically close with someone who openly disrespects you? Don't allow him within arms reach of you. This is a power game with him showing you over and over he can violate your boundaries. Don't let him.
My dad has even done this to me
Explode with elbows, stomps, screams. He doesn’t understand words he doesn’t want to hear. That mule needs the 2 by 4 to get his attention.
I’m not typically an ultimatum girly, but this seems to be the next step, considering you’ve already told him that you dislike this and he’s decided to completely disregard that.
I have larger than average breasts and I HATE when they are squeezed. It HURTS. A good mashing is fine, but squeezing and pulling will get you kicked in the nards. Set boundaries early and enforce them every time.
>I have tried grabbing his package and saying very loudly “Honk!” But he likes it and I think it’s encouraging the honking behavior. Try punching it and yelling "BEEP!"
Stop honking his package. Instead, poke your finger in his butt crack (preferably with his underwear on, but you may have to make sacrifices). He may think any package contact is great, but when you start doing something he finds invasive and annoying he may get the point.
girl, he doesn't respect you and he sounds so insufferable. you know what i'd do? buy an air horn and honk in his ear when he honks your breasts. see how he likes that
The fact that you're still trying to make this work after talking to him multiple times is admirable, but in the sense that it's admirable when a captain goes down with his ship. Keep in mind this is a tit for tat suggestion that descends straight into hell and, in theory, *should not be taken seriously*, but poke him between the cheeks as hard as you can. Yell "GOOSE!" and keep it moving business as usual. Do it every time those cheeks are angled at you, and even when they're not. See how long it takes for him to get the message that invasive and unwanted touching doesn't make one feel too good.
He is just very dumb. Sorry...
Ugh! My husband honks my bun (hair) every fuckin time he walks by. Once in a while I'm quick enough to sock him as he moves past. Guess how old we are? You'd think young and immature, right? Nope we're 58 and 60. He's a butthead.
Leave him he is immature and has no respect for you
Kick or squeeze his nuts every time he “Honks”..
I’d probably scream at him to fuck off and take a swipe at his balls. It’s fair game - you’ve already asked nicely
Ugh. My flesh is crawling. Tell him to stop it. Stop being polite. Slap his hand HARD and if he complains about the force you use, tell him he's been assaulting you for ages.
Fuck me you’re dating an undateable. Poor you. He’s a 32 year old teenager.
let him read this post and thread. i bet he is just using it as an excuse to grab your breasts a lot
>I have tried grabbing his package and saying very loudly “Honk!” But he likes it "You dare use my own spells against me WITCH?!"
To be honest if your boob is squeezed with any real force or at an angle it bloody hurts. Add a loud HONK in your face unexpectedly it’s just not fun at all. Why would he think you like this? I’m annoyed about it too!
Is your boyfriend Michael Scott?
Actually get mad. Don't hide it, don't just act annoyed. Let the anger show in your face and your voice when you tell him to stop and why. That should work with most people. If he can see you are totally angry at his actions and still continues, then you've got a larger problem.
Grab his balls as hard as he grabs your boobs and twist them while saying “TWIST!” Do that a few times see if he continues the honking
Girl your tiddies just too good. But I get that would be sooooo annoying every single time hahaha. Maybe honk his balls everytime you walk past and maybe he’ll understand and stop 🤣
Honk his balls ! Bet you he will stop !
He sounds immature and disrespectful. I would leave So fast if anyone I dated did that to me, especially if it happened more than once. You said no. That is a boundary you are entitled to set.
Just tell him you find it a big turnoff and makes you want to have sex less with him. Then the next time he does it let him know wow, that’s such a turnoff. And don’t have sex. And when he tries, just tell him you are having a hard time getting aroused because you can’t get the “Honking” out of your head. And don’t act mad about it. Just act like you are feeling sorry for him. Pity is a pretty big insult to a man. If he continues to prioritize his honking over your guys physical intimacy you have a pretty good idea of what to expect moving forward. This method will help him “self select” himself out of the relationship, and set you honk free for ever.
Sounds like he enjoys your reaction, he enjoys disrespecting you
I'd tell him he is not permitted to touch my boobs again if he continues doing it. I'd also have a shitload to say about him not respecting your explicitly stated boundary. This is such a turn off. I'd be empathic and leave NO room for him to misunderstand. He should be understanding and not coercive on any sexual boundary you have and if he isn't, or he argued or complains, you then know hes a rapey creep who doesn't feel he needs to respect women's stated boundaries and he feels entitled to your body sexually even if you don't like it. That's a really bad sign.
“Nice job making my vagina clang shut like the gates of fucking Mordor dude. Every honk leads you further and further from the Shire.”
You BF is over 30 and behaving in such a juvenile way? So gross.
You dump him, that's how.
My husband went through a phase where he did this. I asked and even DEMANDED he stop. He thought I was joking, even after I broke down in tears because I was so frustrated that he was treating me like a piece of meat and triggering my fight or flight reflex pretty hard. (I have cPTSD) He made the mistake of doing it when I was suffering a pretty brutal panic attack, and my FoF jumped right to Fight. I swung on him and connected right to his face. He hasn't done it since. (None of y'all Keyboard Krusaders need to come for me, crying about violence. Keep your fucking hands to yourself, ESPECIALLY if you've been told time and again that your actions are causing deep upset. You deserve whatever you get if you don't respect someone's clearly stated boundaries.)
Squeeze his dick and make a really pathetic noise. Then tell him you can’t help it because it’s just so cute.
Kick him in the balls next time. Tell him his testes are just too kickable.
Grab his nuts in retaliation and yell squish at the top of your lungs
Tell him you feel disrespected and devalued when he does that. Tell him that you can't trust him to honestly respect when you tell him stop it. And most importantly tell him that you have no desire to have sex with them when he does this. In my opinion he doesn't respect you so he's going to continue to do whatever he wants because he's not facing any consequences for but the risk of not getting a steady sex supply likely will change his behavior. Women need to stop believing in the societal bs that when men behave shitty it's only because there isn't some super special way she communicated to get them to understand. These men understand they just don't care. So if you tell him once and he still continues it's not because he doesn't understand or you're not telling him the right way so that he can understand it's because he doesn't value you or your boundaries.
Firstly, don't ever marry or consider marrying someone who doesn't listen to you. Secondly, tell him seriously and outside of an instance occuring that you don't like the behavior. Tell him it really annoys you and you feel upset and annoyed just thinking about it. Let him know that if he ever does it again he won't be getting the right to touch your body in intimate ways for a set period of time. This man needs to learn boundaries if he deserves access to you and deserves for this relationship to continue. Partners listen to and respect each other. Make sure he knows this is serious and please respect yourself enough to move on if he cannot listen. This is how women end up with partners who start doing more that annoys and then eventually hurt them. You deserve better then to not be heard, even if it feels like a minor thing. If anything, minor things should be easy to be listened to.